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Candlelit
Christmas
Kisses

Captain Moorcroft’s
Christmas Bride
Anne Herries
Governess Under the Mistletoe
Elizabeth Beacon

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Captain Moorcroft’s Christmas Bride

About the Author

ANNE HERRIES, winner of the Romantic Novelists’ Association ROMANCE PRIZE 2004, lives in Cambridgeshire. She is fond of watching wildlife and spoils the birds and squirrels that are frequent visitors to her garden. Anne loves to write about the beauty of nature and sometimes puts a little into her books, although they are mostly about love and romance. She writes for her own enjoyment and to give pleasure to her readers.

Previous novels by the same author:

MARRYING CAPTAIN JACK

THE UNKNOWN HEIR

THE HOMELESS HEIRESS

THE RAKE’S REBELLIOUS LADY

A COUNTRY MISS IN HANOVER SQUARE* AN INNOCENT DEBUTANTE IN HANOVER SQUARE* THE MISTRESS OF HANOVER SQUARE* FORBIDDEN LADY~ THE LORD’S FORCED BRIDE~ THE PIRATE’S WILLING CAPTIVE~ HER DARK AND DANGEROUS LORD~

* A Season in Town trilogy ~ The Melford Dynasty

and in the Regency series The Steepwood Scandal:

LORD RAVENSDEN’S MARRIAGE

COUNTERFEIT EARL

and in The Hellfire Mysteries:

AN IMPROPER COMPANION

A WEALTHY WIDOW

A WORTHY GENTLEMAN

Dear Reader,

This year I’ve had the pleasure of writing a Christmas story for you. I very much enjoyed doing this and hope you will enjoy the story of Selina and her sisters, who have been forced to leave their home because of the inheritance laws that existed at the period. Selina has a secret memory she keeps enshrined in her heart; the memory of a dashing young captain who kissed her and then went off to war. When the new earl comes to claim his estate, where Selina has become a temporary tenant, she and he are in for a shock.

Will the Captain Moorcroft of her dreams and the new earl prove to be the same man—or will she discover that her idol was but a dream? Christmas is the time when wishes ought to come true, so perhaps Selina’s dream will be granted.

Happy Christmas to all my readers and thank you for continuing to buy my books. I hope you have as much fun with this one as I did writing it.

Anne Herries

PROLOGUE

Summer 1810, Bath

SELINA Searles, aged sixteen, innocent and on the verge of womanhood, looked around the crowded Assembly Rooms and felt a tingle of excitement. She was a pretty girl, full of life, happy and thrilled to be at her first ball. Her mama had told her that she was too young to be brought out in London society until the following year. However, since they were in Bath, because dear Mama had been laid low with a chill and Selina had volunteered to care for her, she was being allowed a special treat.

‘I shall expect you to behave properly, dearest,’ her mama had told her. ‘This is your first dance, and you must remember the rules of polite society. If a gentleman asks you to dance, you may do so, but before you waltz I must approve your choice. On no account are you to flirt, nor will you leave the ballroom in the company of a gentleman, and you must never, never allow a man to kiss you unless you have accepted a proposal of marriage. You will do no such thing, for you are too young and it is unlikely to happen, but remember the rules, my love, and you will not go far wrong.’

‘Yes, Mama,’ Selina had said and smiled. ‘You’ve told me all this before, and I should not dream of disobeying you.’

Her feet tapping to the music, Selina waited patiently to be asked to dance. She was an exceptionally lovely girl, some might say beautiful, with melting brown eyes and dark hair that curled about her face before being swept up into ringlets that fell on one shoulder, but it was her vivacity, her joy in life that shone out of her, lighting up the room. A girl like that could not go unnoticed for long, and indeed it was not much more than five minutes before she was asked to dance by a gentleman who presented himself as Lord March.

He was a very correct gentleman and held her at precisely the right distance, so that when he asked for a second dance, which was a waltz, her mama immediately granted her permission. Selina hardly had time to catch her breath at the end of the dance before she was besieged with gentlemen asking for dances and every space on her card was filled. Her mama looked on indulgently, as if she had expected this to happen, nodding her permission each time Selina looked at her. Every waltz had been taken, and Selina was soon lost in the excitement and delight of being a raging success.

It was not until about halfway through the evening that she noticed a gentleman dressed in a magnificent scarlet-and-black uniform. Suddenly it was as if a hundred candles had been lit, for his presence seemed to light up the room. Selina noticed that he was immediately the centre of a large group of young men and women, and she could hear their laughter from across the room. The newcomer was the most handsome man in the room—and popular, for it seemed everyone wanted to be near him. After a moment he seemed to become aware of her interest, and their eyes met briefly. She felt a tingle of excitement run through her and could not turn her eyes away, though she knew she ought.

It was as though an invisible bond stretched between them, and her pulses raced as he excused himself to his friends and began to walk towards her. Selina’s mouth was suddenly dry, her heart beating like a drum in her breast. He was coming. He would ask her to dance, but her card was full. What should she do? Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed up into his eyes and felt as though she were drowning.

‘Captain Moorcroft at your service, Princess,’ he said, his dark eyes bold and filled with confidence as he swept her a bow and seized her card, striking out Lord March’s name, which appeared next on her list. ‘March will not deny me, or I’ll challenge him to a duel.’

‘I am not a princess—and you ought not to have done that,’ Selina reproved, but she was laughing because her heart had leaped at the sight of him, and the touch of his hand made her breathless with a strange excitement she had never known. All at once she felt reckless and wildly happy. ‘My name is Selina Searles.’

‘Robert Moorcroft, sweet Miss Selina,’ he said, and the seductive note in his voice wiped all caution from her mind. ‘You are mine, and if any here dispute it, they may call me out for it. My angel …’

With that he took her hand and swept her out on to the dance floor, whirling her round and round until she was breathless and laughing, her mama’s warnings all but forgotten. For the whole of the dance, her feet scarcely seemed to touch the floor, and she wished it could go on for ever, but then the music was ending, and as he led her to the side of the floor, her next partner was there to claim her.

Selina felt a sharp stab of disappointment. Robert Moorcroft stood watching her for a moment and then turned away. She wished with all her heart that she had an empty card and might dance with him all night, but convention would have allowed him no more than three dances at most.

As her dance ended and her partner thanked her, Selina realised that she’d hardly noticed him, lost in a dream. Her eyes had been searching the room for the young captain. Turning away, with the intent of seeking her mama while she waited for her next partner, she felt a touch on her arm and found herself gazing up at Robert Moorcroft once more.

‘I have settled it with Hendricks that this dance is mine,’ he said, and drew her into his arms as the next waltz began.

Selina was too shaken by her storm of feelings to deny him. Waltzing in his arms was a dream, like floating in a blue sky on a summer’s day. She felt herself drifting away on a cloud of pleasure as he whirled her round and round, and she wanted the dance to last for the rest of her life. To feel like this was something that even in her most romantic dreams she had not imagined. She longed for the moment to go on and on endlessly.

When their dance ended, he kept hold of her hand and strode towards the open doors that led onto the terraces, taking her with him.

‘I have made you hot,’ he told her, with a smile that sent her heart fluttering. ‘We shall take a little stroll in the garden until you feel able to dance again.’

Selina knew that she ought to refuse, but she could not find the words. Besides, it was what she wanted above anything. She had never felt like this in her life, and something told her that she must seize the moment or it might not come again.

Outside, he led her away from the lights of the ballroom to a secluded spot by some rose bushes, the deep, intoxicating smell of which she knew would remain with her for the rest of her life.

‘You are so beautiful that you make me want to weep,’ he whispered softly against her ear. ‘I have never seen a woman as lovely as you, my angel—my Selina. I adore you. You have captured my heart.’

‘Oh …’ Selina was lost. This was flirting, and her mama had told her she must not flirt with gentlemen—but he was the one flirting. She had done nothing but give herself up to the delight of dancing with him. ‘You … you should not …’

Before she could say more, he lowered his head, one hand about her waist as he pulled her in close. She could feel the pressure of his hand in the small of her back and the hardness of his strong body. His mouth was cool and soft on hers, the pressure light at first but increasing as her own lips opened in response. His tongue entered, touching hers lightly in a way that sent little spirals of pleasure skittering down her spine.

‘What should I not?’ he whispered as his kiss ended, and he pressed his lips against her throat.

Selina trembled. Such sensation coursed through her entire being. The response of her body to his was sweeping away all thought, all sense of what was right or wrong. How could this feeling be wrong when it was so glorious?

It was the best thing that had ever happened to her—and the worst. For she sensed that if she were not careful. her reputation might be lost, and yet she was caught by the moonlight and the moment, incapable of repulsing him.

‘Should I not kiss you, or …?’ His hand was at her breast, fondling her through the thin silk, and then he had pushed down the neck of her gown. His lips closed over her breast, sucking delicately at her nipple.

It was so shocking that she was stunned, and yet a ripple of desire shot through her and she moaned. For a moment she was delirious with pleasure, but then she remembered her mother’s warning and broke away, tugging her gown into place. What had she done? To allow such a liberty was to forget that she was a lady—but in his arms she could happily forget the world.

‘You forget yourself, sir. I am but sixteen and … and we should not be here.’ As she turned away, he caught her wrist, turning her back to face him. ‘Please, let me go,’ she begged. ‘You will ruin me, sir.’ All of a sudden she was shivering and afraid of what she’d done.

‘I shall return for you,’ he vowed, and for a moment his eyes burned with a silver light in the darkness. ‘Never forget me, Selina Searles. I have put my brand on you. I adore you and one day I shall claim you. You will be mine. Wait for me …’

‘You must not say such things, for you do not mean them!’ she cried and, tearing herself from his grasp, fled back to the lights of the ballroom, not stopping until she was in the ladies’ restroom, where she splashed her cheeks with cold water and tidied her gown.

He had not meant the things he’d said to her. Of course he had not—because she’d tasted the brandy on his tongue. He was undoubtedly drunk, and in the morning he would have forgotten the things he’d said and done—but she would not forget.

Selina knew that in one respect he had spoken the truth. Captain Robert Moorcroft had put his mark on her, and she would never, ever be the same again.

CHAPTER ONE

Late autumn 1817, Bedfordshire

‘WHAT are we going to do, Selina?’ Amy Searles looked at her elder sister fearfully. ‘How shall we manage now that Mama …’ She choked back her tears as her sister shook her head. ‘It was hard enough when we had Mama’s jointure, but now …’

‘Please do not remind me,’ Selina begged. Her face was tight with grief. Their mama’s rapid decline and sudden death had happened no more than six months after their father had shot himself, having gambled away his fortune at the tables. ‘Something needed to be done even if Mama …’ She swallowed hard because the tears were so very close.

Only two days had passed since they’d buried their beloved mother, and the girls had been left to care for their younger sister, Millicent, who was just twelve years of age. ‘We have her jewels. We could sell those, I suppose, or some of the silver—but that will not solve the problem of where we shall live. Cousin Joshua owns the house now. It only remained Mama’s home while she lived.’

‘We both have a little money that Grandmama Robinson left us,’ Amy said. ‘Is it enough to purchase a house, do you think?’

‘One hundred pounds might buy us a small cottage, but if we spent that we should have nothing left to live on.’ Selina bit her lower lip. ‘We might be able to rent a cottage somewhere.’

‘What about your season? You were to find a rich husband so that we did not need to worry about money.’

‘Had Mama not been taken ill, we should have all gone to London next spring, and you would have been sure to find a husband, but …’ Selina sighed. ‘You know what happened. There is no point in weeping over it, Amy. All thought of a season must be forgotten now. We shall just have to look for somewhere else to live. One of us must care for Millie, and the other … should look for work as a companion or something of the sort.’

‘Oh, Selina … no,’ Amy protested. ‘Look at us. Who would employ either of us as a governess?’

‘I said as a companion. There must be plenty of ladies who need a pretty, intelligent girl as a companion—I would employ you had I the money, dearest.’

‘You mean some crotchety old dear who wants me to run after her all day?’ Amy looked mutinous. ‘I couldn’t bear it, Selina. No, you must marry a rich man and rescue our fortunes. You are so beautiful it must be easy for you.’

‘Do you feel it fair to marry someone entirely for the sake of money? Should one not at least feel some sort of affection for one’s husband?’

‘Well, yes, if one could choose,’ Amy said practically. ‘But what else can we do—short of selling ourselves off as slaves?’ She hesitated, then, ‘You wouldn’t consider marrying Cousin Joshua, I suppose?’

Selina shuddered. ‘I would rather hire myself out as a scullery maid,’ she said. ‘I would marry if I could find someone I could live with—but Cousin Joshua? Would you wish to live with him, Amy?’

‘No!’ Amy made a wry face. ‘He might let us stop here for a while if you were nice to him, Selina. He likes you.’

‘He is angry with me at the moment because I refused his offer of marriage. It is unfortunate that he is our only relative on Father’s side. The elder of Papa’s brothers, Sebastian, and his son, Simon, were drowned ten years ago. I believe they might have allowed us to stay here, for Uncle Sebastian was always kind to us, but Cousin Joshua is different. Mama had only her aunt Mabel, who died two years ago, as you know. She left Mama what she had but it was very little—just that pearl necklace and a thousand pounds, which is what has paid for our clothes this past two years—yours, mine, Mama’s, Millie’s and the servants’. I daresay there isn’t above two hundred pounds left in Mama’s account.’

‘Well, we shall soon know.’ Amy glanced at the beautiful mantel clock. ‘Mr Breck will be here in an hour, and he will tell us how much we have to live on now that Mama …’

Once again Amy almost dissolved into tears.

‘If we have to sell some things, that mantel clock should be worth several guineas—enough to keep us for six months, I daresay,’ Selina said thoughtfully.

‘You cannot sell that, Selina.’ Amy was shocked. ‘It was one of Mama’s favourite things. Her father gave it to her for her last birthday before he died.’

‘I know that.’ Selina sighed. ‘I want to keep all Mama’s things when we move, but if we do not have enough to live on …’ Her words died away as she heard the sounds of a carriage drawing up outside.

Amy went to the window of their small parlour, then turned to look at her. ‘It’s Cousin Joshua.’

‘Oh, no, why did he have to come today? Surely he cannot be so impatient to move in? He has a perfectly good house of his own.’

‘Which is why he may sell this one.’

‘Yes, I know. He did speak of it.’ Selina drew her shoulders back as the parlour door opened and the housekeeper announced the arrival of their visitor. ‘Good morning, cousin. How pleasant to see you. Will you not come to the fire? I am sure it is cold out.’

‘Thank you, Selina.’ Her cousin nodded and moved to the fire to warm his hands. ‘I knew you were expecting your father’s lawyer this morning. I have some news for you myself, but I shall wait until the lawyer has had his say.’ He paused to clear his throat. ‘You must not expect good news, cousin. Sir Richard had little left but this house and a few fields, which I understand bear a mortgage. Since the house and what remains of the estate are entailed, I fear they come to me, which means I must provide for you in some way.’

‘You are very kind, cousin,’ Selina said stiffly. ‘But Mama had a little money of her own, and I hope it will not be necessary for us to become a burden on your purse.’

He had the grace to look awkward as he said, ‘I know you girls are of an independent mind, but I’m not short of a bob or two—neither am I insensitive to your grief. I should certainly not ask you to move out of this house for at least a month—and even then you know you may all have a home with me.’

‘But that means we must leave before Christmas!’ Selina exclaimed, and then turned away before she could lose her temper.

‘You are so very kind,’ Amy said, because Selina was still turned away, her hands clenching at her sides as she struggled against her emotions. ‘But truly Selina speaks for us all—we shall be independent if we can.’

‘If you can, of course,’ he agreed, much mollified by Amy’s sweet smile. ‘I am not made of stone, Miss Amy. I could not see my cousins starve or be deprived of all their precious things. I know some of the furnishings belonged to your mama, and I’ve already told him he will have to furnish part of the house himself.’

Selina turned, her eyes wide and startled. ‘Whom do you mean? Have you already let the house to a tenant? It is only a few weeks until Christmas. I did not think you would expect us to move so soon, cousin.’

‘Well, I shouldn’t, of course—except that I think you would all do better staying with me for the festivities. This house is expensive to keep up, you know. Your mama could scarcely afford it these past few months, and some of the necessary repairs have not been done.’ There was a hint of reproach in his voice. ‘I did offer to do them for her, but she said she would not trouble me and intended to see to them herself—though we both knew she could not afford the iniquitous prices these builders charge. Ladies will have their way, but now that the house has passed to me, I shall, of course, be sending someone to do the repairs quite soon.’

Selina looked at her sister. Neither said anything, but they both knew that this was their cousin’s way of making it impossible for them to stay in the house, despite his earlier claim that they could remain for at least another month. Selina was about to reply when the housekeeper announced the arrival of their family lawyer. He was early, but being a punctilious man had no doubt set out early lest the roads were bad.

‘Well, at least we shall know the truth now,’ Selina said, but her heart sank as the lawyer was announced, and she saw from his face that the news was far from good.

‘Good morning, Mr Breck,’ she said, and went forward to meet him with outstretched hands. No matter how heavy her heart, she would not forget her good manners. ‘It was so very kind of you to come out on such a cold day, sir.’

‘It is cold for the time of year, though we have less than two months until Christmas, Miss Searles. I must tell you at once that I have been looking into your dear mama’s affairs, and the outlook is not good—but I think I may have solved one of your problems at least temporarily.’

‘Oh … I think you must tell us what you mean,’ Selina said. ‘Please, come and sit by the fire, sir. You have been a good friend to Mama, and we shall not stand on ceremony, even if you are the bearer of bad news.’

Mr Breck flicked out his coattails and sat on a substantial chair close to the hearth. He had chosen their late father’s chair, and the sight of a man sitting there brought a lump to the girls’ throats, but neither of them said a word. They were breathless, their eyes betraying their fear as they waited.

‘As you know, your father had secured the house to your mother for her lifetime, but he was never able to break the entail, which would have cost him too much of his slender capital. That part of the estate which was entailed bears a mortgage, and all the land your father owned personally was sold before his death to pay his debts.’

‘Yes, sir. You told Mama when Papa died,’ Selina said. ‘But Mama’s jointure was safe, and we think she had a little money of her own—is that not so?’

‘Yes, she did have a little of her own, and she was left a thousand pounds by her aunt, but most of that has been spent. The dear lady honoured me with the care of her slender funds, as you know, and I did manage to invest a small amount, which will bring you in two hundred pounds a year, but besides that you have only seventy-five pounds in capital …’

Selina gave a little gasp. ‘So little …’ She swallowed hard as she saw her sister’s stricken expression. ‘We had hoped it might be two hundred pounds or so.’

‘Your dear mama spent quite a bit on clothes and the things she wanted to give you and your sisters. Of course all her furniture and jewels belong to you, and I daresay they may fetch a thousand or two—if you care to sell them.’

‘We may have to if we are to find ourselves a new home,’ Selina said, and glanced at her cousin, who had the grace to look ashamed. ‘We are determined to be independent of Cousin Joshua, even though he has kindly offered us a home in his house.’

‘Well, I thought you would say that, Miss Searles,’ the lawyer said, and looked pleased with himself. ‘Which is why I have taken the liberty of arranging something—if you could bring yourself to accept?’

‘Anything,’ Selina said fervently, and then realised how rude she sounded. ‘Within reason, of course. I feel we must not be a burden on others.’

‘I’ve told you—’ her cousin began but swiftly closed his mouth as the lawyer began to speak again.

‘Well, this might suit you. I have an elderly client who owns an estate. He recently became ill and has gone abroad for his health. He is hoping that his nephew will take over the estate, for it is entailed on him. However, the nephew currently lives in Italy, and though I have told him his duty is to return to the estate, he has informed me that he is content for now to leave it entirely in my hands. I am to manage the estate—and to install a housekeeper in the house, with a few servants to keep it in reasonable condition. However, the nephew does not wish it to be let to a tenant because he may one day choose to live there—though he thinks not for some years yet.’

‘Are you offering me the position of housekeeper?’ Selina stared at him in surprise.

‘Well, yes, in a way,’ her lawyer said. ‘What I thought was that you and your family could live there—and take with you the servants you intend to keep. I shall pay their wages and make you some small remuneration—say three hundred pounds a year.’

‘Nonsense!’ Cousin Joshua was outraged. ‘How dare you suggest that my cousin become a paid servant? She and her sisters will live with me, as I told them right from the start.’

‘No, cousin, we shall not.’ Selina’s voice was cold and proud, and all eyes turned on her. ‘I am three and twenty, and you are not my guardian. Mama left the care of my sisters to me, because she trusted me to care for them—and I shall.’

‘You will not consider becoming a housekeeper?’ He looked shocked.

‘I think it may be the perfect solution,’ Selina said, and turned with considerable relief to the lawyer. ‘However, I could not accept the wage, Mr Breck. What I can accept is that you allow us to live there as your client’s tenants in return for keeping the house in good order. I shall undertake to help you with the estate, for I was used to helping Papa, as you know. I am well able to do bookwork, and to supervise the maintenance of property—and if you have good bailiffs and farm managers, I can liase with them and report to you.’

‘Well … it is not exactly what I intended … but I see no reason why it should not work. However, I must insist that you allow me to pay the wages of the resident servants at least. It is a big house, and you could not afford to keep enough staff unless I contribute—as my client’s agent, of course.’

‘How many servants are there?’

‘Just two outside men and an elderly butler, Trent, who was too old to travel with my client. He wishes to remain at the house until he can no longer work. You will need at least two maids and a cook if you are to live there comfortably.’

‘Yes, I think we shall,’ Selina said. ‘Mama’s maid, Jane, Betty, our maid of all work, and Cook all wish to come with us and have declared they will work for nothing but their board. Also Papa’s groom, Jeremiah. He says nothing shall make him leave us but death, and I cannot kill him, so I must keep him. I shall, of course, pay them something—but you must leave that to me, Mr Breck. I shall contrive somehow—even if I have to sell Aunt Mabel’s pearls. Mama gave them to me, and if need be I shall sell them.’

‘Oh, Selina, you love those pearls,’ Amy protested tearfully.

‘Yes, I do, but this is a solution for us, dearest. Do you not see how perfect it is? We shall live quietly but we shall still be ladies, even if we have very little money. We may entertain occasionally—and we shall meet people living nearby. It is possible that one of us might—’

‘You cannot possibly live on two hundred pounds a year,’ Cousin Joshua cut in rudely, looking annoyed. ‘If you refuse my offer of a home, I shall wash my hands of you. You will get nothing from me—not a penny.’

‘Sir, that is not necessary,’ Mr Breck remonstrated. ‘I am more than willing to pay Miss Searles a retainer for looking after the house if she wishes.’

‘I shall remember that, and if I become desperate, I may reconsider,’ Selina said with a smile. ‘You have been very kind, Cousin Joshua—however, I must decline your offer of a home. We shall be packed and ready to leave within three days. I should appreciate it if you will not send your builders in until after we have left,’ she added dryly.

‘You will regret this,’ he said, giving her a furious look. ‘Just remember that this arrangement is only temporary. The nephew could return at any time. Just don’t come crying to me when you’re homeless and destitute.’

‘Now, that is not called for, sir.’ Mr Breck looked outraged. ‘If such a thing should happen, Miss Searles must apply to me, and I shall find her a cottage she can afford to rent until such time as she is married.’

‘And who will want to marry a woman with no fortune and two sisters in tow?’ Cousin Joshua said harshly. ‘Only a fool would consider it.’

With that he strode from the parlour, leaving silence behind him.

Selina recovered first. ‘I fear I have upset our cousin,’ she said calmly. ‘Do not judge him too harshly, Mr Breck.

He has little from his inheritance but the house, and you cannot blame him for wanting it to be free of occupants who pay nothing.’

‘Mr Searles is a warm man. It would not have hurt him to allow you to live here free of charge as his tenants.’

‘No, it would not,’ Selina agreed. ‘However, he has long held a ridiculous notion that we shall marry, and I think he hoped to force my hand—but nothing would make me consider it.’

‘It was not what your mama hoped for,’ the lawyer said. ‘She believed you would marry well once you had your chance at a proper come-out.’ He hesitated, then, ‘I suppose you would not allow me to advance you the money for a season?’

‘How good you are!’ Selina exclaimed warmly, shaking her head. ‘Really kind—but I could not allow it. I might never be able to repay you. No, do not say it doesn’t matter, because it does. We may be poor, but we are honest, and we have our pride, sir.’

‘Yes. I was afraid you might not accept—but your own idea is better than mine. Though I wish you would allow me to pay you for looking after the estate. An extra three hundred pounds might have provided enough for Miss Amy to have a come-out in a year or so …’

‘No, Selina must not be made to feel guilty on my account,’ Amy said instantly. ‘She is the beauty of the family. I am confident that something wonderful will happen. Before you arrived we had nowhere to go—now we have a new home. What is the name of the house, sir?’

‘Banford Hall,’ he replied, and smiled at her. ‘It is an old property, Miss Amy—gothic, some might call it, and rather beautiful in my opinion. The family has lived there for centuries, and parts of it are medieval.’

‘How exciting!’ Amy exclaimed. ‘Does it have a ghost?’

‘Any number of them, I should imagine,’ Mr Breck replied with an indulgent smile. ‘I doubt they will bother three intelligent young ladies like yourselves.’

‘I am becoming more excited by the minute,’ Amy said, and gave him a sparkling smile. ‘Mama always said she did not know how she would have managed without your help, sir—and you have gone to so much trouble for us.’

‘Not at all, m’dear.’

The lawyer looked ridiculously pleased, and Selina smiled inwardly. Amy always said that she, Selina, was the beauty of the family, but her younger sister was herself a very charming, not to say fascinating, young woman. Given her chance she would no doubt marry well.

‘As a matter of fact, it will suit me admirably to have you installed as a family rather than leaving it to a housekeeper—for sometimes, you know, they tend to neglect a house if the owner is abroad.’

‘You can rely on us to keep it in good order. If I should discover some necessary repair, may I apply to you for the cost?’ asked Selina.

‘Certainly, certainly. His lordship—my client’s nephew, that is—was explicit. He wants everything as it ought to be, especially for his tenants on the estate—but for the moment he is content in Italy and does not wish to live there. I believe he thinks his uncle, the old earl, may recover and wish to return home, though for myself I think there is no prospect of it happening. He has gone to a warmer climate to spend his last days in comfort and will not think of returning.’

‘Well, if he does he shall find his house in good order. Should he be pleased with what we have done, he might offer us a home—if I continued as his housekeeper.’

‘Would you consider it?’

‘Only if it is a choice of that or going to my cousin for help.’ Selina shuddered delicately. ‘I would prefer to be independent—unless I find someone I would care to marry, of course. We are not quite destitute, sir. As well as our two hundred a year, our aunt left each of us fifty pounds and a small token of jewellery. The jewellery is not worth selling, except for the pearls Mama passed to me, of course. Mama’s jewels may be worth as much as five thousand—’ She broke off as she saw the lawyer’s frown. ‘You think I overvalue them?’

‘Most of your dear mama’s jewels were sold to pay your father’s debts, Miss Searles. Your father had copies made. I believe there is one pair of genuine diamond drops that remain, and the pearls you mentioned which were left to her by her aunt.’

The two girls looked at each other aghast. Selina was the first to recover.

‘We have even less than we thought,’ she said grimly. ‘At least we need not part with what we have of Mama’s. You have the diamond earbobs, Amy. Millie has a gold bracelet and I have the pearls. Even if the rest of what we thought heirlooms are just fakes, they look well enough to pass for being genuine if we have to wear them to a ball. Still, we are not destitute. We shall manage, but we must be very careful.’

‘I am sorry to be the bearer of more bad news.’ Mr Breck looked upset. ‘I had thought you knew.’

‘We had no idea things were so bad. I wondered why Mama did not sell something when she needed to repair the roof in the west wing. Now I understand. At least we have her furniture and her clothes …’ She paused. ‘Unless they are earmarked for a bill?’

‘No such thing,’ Mr Breck assured her heartily. ‘You may take everything that was particularly your mama’s when you leave.’

‘You can be assured that we shall take nothing Cousin Joshua is entitled to think his own.’

‘I should like Papa’s duelling pistols,’ Amy said. ‘He taught me to use them and I have a fondness for them.’

‘Well, since they are personal property and not part of the estate, I see no reason why you should not take them—his clothes belong to you, and any other small personal items.’

‘So we can take his hip flask and his signet ring?’ Amy asked. ‘That would mean each of us had a small keepsake.’

‘I can see no reason why you should not take everything that was personal to your father. The estate consists of land, houses, furniture, important silver, books and pictures.’

‘Then we shall take as much as we can,’ Selina said. ‘I shall hire a cart to move our belongings, for I should not wish to use anything that rightly belongs to my cousin.’

‘Our riding horses are our own,’ Amy said, ‘but the carriages and the carriage horses belong to Cousin Joshua. I think we must hire a carriage to take us to our new home, Selina—and Jeremiah must bring the horses.’

‘I have thought about that,’ Mr Breck said. ‘I think it may be possible to buy a chaise and a pair of horses cheaply for you—but I shall enquire into the matter. It may be best to hire something for now. I will visit you at Banford Hall soon to see how you are settling in.’

‘At least we shall have time to settle before Christmas,’ Selina said. ‘I am feeling much better for your visit, sir. Please, will you dine with us—and stay the night?’

‘I should be delighted to dine,’ Mr Breck said. ‘However, I think a room at the inn might be advisable—now that the three of you are alone. It was different when your dear mama was alive.’

‘Yes, very different,’ Selina said, and the tears caught at her throat.

She blinked hard, because weeping would not help them. Her sisters were relying on her to make a life for them. It would be hard for them all, moving to a new house and leaving their friends behind. Her youngest sister was upset enough as it was.

‘But Mama is at peace now, sir. She would not want us to break our hearts for her. Mama loved us dearly. She would want us to be happy—and that is what I intend. I shall do my best to make it a good Christmas. I know I speak for my sisters when I say you and your family would be welcome to visit with us this year. We may have a few guests—for I am sure we shall make friends with some of our neighbours—but I should be honoured if you would come to stay for a few days, sir.’

‘Well, if that isn’t handsome of you, Miss Searles.’ The lawyer beamed his pleasure. ‘I shall ask Mrs Breck her pleasure and be sure to let you know what plans she has—but I am truly honoured to be asked.’

‘Mr Breck is very kind,’ Amy said after their guest had left that evening. ‘I should not have dared to take Papa’s pistols had he not said I might. There are several things that Papa thought of as his own, and if we take all of them, we might sell one or two if need be.’

‘Do not take anything of real value, Amy, or anything that Cousin Joshua might think is his by right. It would only bring him down on us, and although he might not actually demand we return it, he would certainly make us aware that we had something of his,’ Selina warned.

‘He is such a beast,’ Amy said, and set her mouth in a mutinous line. ‘There is a picture in Papa’s study that I should love …’

‘Please do not be tempted, dearest. I know the one you mean and it is quite valuable. Father inherited it himself, so it was not his personal property. Cousin Joshua would be sure to notice that—and I really do not care to have him preaching at me again.’

‘Oh …’ Amy sighed. ‘It is so hard to leave things we’ve known all our lives.’

‘Be grateful we have as much as we have,’ Selina replied. ‘It has been a long day. I am for my bed. Tomorrow we begin packing. I am determined to leave nothing behind that is ours—and I want to be ready within the three days.’

‘Supposing the earl’s nephew decides to come home to Banford Hall from Italy sooner rather than later?’

Selina frowned. ‘We must pray that he does not,’ she said. ‘Should he return we must take Mr Breck up on his offer to find us somewhere to rent, as we cannot afford to purchase even a small cottage. Or there is the possibility that I may be offered the position of housekeeper at Banford Hall for real.’

‘You wouldn’t truly take it?’

‘Only if we were desperate—and we are not that yet.’ Selina smiled at her. ‘Go up now, dearest. If you are not tired, you may begin your packing.’

‘What about the books?’ Amy asked. ‘I suppose all the books belong to the library and are therefore part of the entail?’

‘Mama’s own books are ours—but, yes, I suppose the others do belong here.’

‘I cannot leave my favourite poets!’ Amy wailed. ‘There are three books that never leave my bedside.’

‘I daresay Cousin Joshua will not notice those,’ Selina said with a smile. ‘Take them, but do not pack a trunk with books, Amy. I assure you he would notice if you cleared an entire shelf.’

‘No, just those three. After all, Mama did buy them for Papa—so in a way they are hers, or at least his personal possessions and therefore not part of the estate.’

Selina did not argue with her sister further. She was quite sure that Millie would also claim two or three books, as she might herself, but she could not truly deny any of them. Only an insensitive brute like Cousin Joshua would insist that they must leave their home so soon after Mama’s death. A kinder man would have allowed them to remain until Selina married and made other arrangements for her sisters.

She was thoughtful as she went to her own bedchamber and closed the door. Tears had been hovering all day, but she’d kept them at bay for the sake of her sisters. The prospect of leaving her home was tearing her apart inside, though she’d tried not to show it to her cousin or the lawyer. She knew that she was taking a huge risk by accepting Mr Breck’s offer. Here in her home, with all her familiar things about her and the servants who had known her all her life, she had managed very well, taking over the reins when her father died and her mama went into a slow decline. Being the mistress of an old house with just a handful of servants—some of whom she did not know—was a very different affair.

Selina’s head came up, and her expression was one of pride and determination, even though her eyes sparkled with the tears she still refused to shed. She would manage. Even if the nephew returned and they had to move to a tiny cottage, she would manage somehow.

She would contrive to give Amy a season next year, and with any luck, her vivacious sister would marry well and solve all their problems. With judicious economy, and by asking a favour of one of Mama’s friends, she might manage something for Amy, but it would be too much to expect the same for herself.

No, she must give up her hopes and dreams of a man she could love and respect—though if a presentable widower were to ask for her, she might just take him. All she asked was that he should be good-natured, and not a pompous prig like her cousin.

The thought of her cousin’s face when she’d accepted Mr Breck’s offer made her smile. Joshua had been so sure she would cave in and marry him that his indignation had been almost amusing—except that she knew he would find some way of paying her back if he could.

CHAPTER TWO

‘MY UNCLE is dead?’ Robert Moorcroft looked up from the glass of wine he had been staring into and glared at his secretary. ‘No, damn it! I understood he expected to live at least a year or more. It was the reason he left England to find a warmer climate.’

‘He had a nasty chill,’ Henry Norton explained. ‘I daresay it was the stress of the journey from England or being caught in a sudden rainstorm. You knew he was a sick man, Robert. It was always on the cards that he might go suddenly.’

‘Poor devil. He expected to have a few months of peace and quiet—away from that barn of a place. It must have been hell for him these past few years. First his wife dead of a fever and then two of his sons—both succumbed to the same sickness.’

‘I daresay it was an inherited weakness. You told me Eliza Benton was always sickly.’

‘Yes, I imagine so.’ Robert nodded morosely. ‘It didn’t help living in that draughty old house, I daresay.’

‘Why do you dislike it so?’

‘I spent the worst two years of my life there. Uncle William was in mourning for his wife and then his sons—and my father was recently dead from that carriage accident. My mother died when I was born, of course, and my uncle’s family was closer than my own because my father went into himself and forgot he even had a son. That same year I’d been sent down from college. The atmosphere at Banford was positively oppressive. I wanted to escape as quickly as I could, and I did. After the freedom of the army, I vowed I would never return.’

‘Well, you’re the earl now,’ Henry said, and smiled affectionately at his friend. After being invalided from the army, he’d taken the position of Robert’s secretary, though he was a gentleman’s son and had his own small estate in Devon. Perhaps he, too, was hiding—in his own case because of physical scars. Robert’s scars were mental; they might not show, but they were just as crippling. ‘You owe the old man a duty—even if you only stay long enough to sell the place and see the old retainers right. At least you have no entail to worry about. You are the last of your line.’

Robert groaned. ‘Don’t remind me, Nor.’ He used the nickname from their army days. ‘I suppose you’re right, as always. I told that lawyer fellow to get a housekeeper, so if we leave in a couple of weeks, she should have the place in good heart—wouldn’t you think?’

‘I doubt she’ll have changed it much in that time. You should give her a month—besides, you’ve business here. That’s if you intend to ask the comtesse to marry you?’

Robert wrinkled his brow. ‘The fair Adelaide. She is a beauty, Nor. I could do a lot worse. I suppose I ought to think about an heir—but not for that damned house. If I do settle back in England, I shall pull the house down and build something modern—or simply sell the place.’

‘Don’t you think that would be rather a shame? It does have a certain charm. You could use the money to put in some decent plumbing and refurbish it … repair the roof where necessary.’

‘Why should I throw good money after bad?’ Robert asked, and yawned. ‘That house drained my uncle of the will to live … or at the very least, it contributed to his decline. I inherited a fortune from my mother’s family. Why should I waste it on that place?’

Henry shrugged. ‘It’s entirely up to you, my friend. In your place I would want to make it into a home again. But if you have bad memories associated with it …’

‘What of you?’ Robert asked. ‘You came here with me because neither of us could face the thought of going home after that last show in France. Too many friends lost … too much death and pain. The weather suits you here, Nor. Will you be able to stand the cold at home?’

‘My leg still pains me,’ Henry admitted, then touched the puckered scar on his left cheek. ‘This doesn’t hurt at all; it’s just ugly, though better than it was at first. I have no hope of finding a woman to marry me, for I shan’t be married for pity—and who could love me looking like this?’

‘You are an ugly devil,’ Robert said cheerfully. ‘But I love you for yourself, Nor—and any girl with half a mind would see your worth if you gave her the chance.’

Henry smiled wryly. ‘I thank you for your kind words, milord. However, I should not want to inflict this on some poor girl who needed to marry for the sake of a place to live. No, I’ll rub along nicely as your secretary—until you’re bored with me. Then I’ll go home.’

‘In that case you’ll be with me for life.’ Robert grinned. ‘You can see your scars, Nor—but mine are too horrible to bear. Only you could have got me through these past few years. I think I should have gone mad without you.’

‘We need each other,’ Nor agreed, and smiled. ‘Well, are we going or not?’

‘We’ll go—but not for a few weeks. I’m not sure about the lovely Adelaide. She fancies herself as my wife—but could she stand me when I’m having a nightmare? I’ll think about it for a couple of weeks or so, and then, depending on her answer, we’ll go back to England.’

‘All right,’ Nor said, and nodded. ‘Now, what about this other business?’

‘You mean was my uncle right to suspect that he was being cheated?’ Robert frowned. ‘If I’m going to make enquiries, I might as well start now. You can write to my lawyer in England and set an agent on it. I cannot see why anyone would wish to harm my uncle, for he was a generous employer and a decent landlord.’

‘Some twisted revenge for past hurts? A man sacked or a poacher arrested?’

‘I suppose revenge might be the reason.’ Robert lifted his wineglass and drained it. ‘Remind me to have a few cases of this shipped back when we go, Nor. I doubt my uncle has anything drinkable in his cellars.’ He rose to his feet and ran long, sensitive fingers through his dark hair. He was a handsome devil, strong and lean, with a face that reflected his emotions all too often. ‘I’ll ride over and visit Adelaide. I suppose you don’t want to come? Miss Bartlet is very pretty, too, you know. I am certain she doesn’t want to be a poor relation all her life.’

‘That may be the case, but Miss Bartlet shudders every time she sees me. No, thank you, Robert. I’ll stay here and write your letters—and I’ll see about shipping some wine. We might sell a few dozen cases. It would be worth looking into the idea of shipping wine home, especially if we’re going to live there for a while.’

‘Leave it all to you, Nor,’ Robert drawled, and laughed huskily. ‘I’m a lazy devil. What would I do without you?’

‘Go to the devil a little faster than you are already?’ his friend suggested, giving a snort of laughter.

Shaking his head, Robert Moorcroft, lately become Earl Banford, left the villa that had been his home for the past two years or so, since Napoleon’s surrender. Obviously he couldn’t hide away here for ever. Despite his reluctance, he was the heir to an old line, and he would have to provide an heir for the future one day. The only thing in doubt was whether he did it in that draughty old barn or built himself a new house …

‘Oh, my goodness,’ Amy said as the coach drew to a halt in the courtyard of the house they’d caught glimpses of for the past ten minutes or more. ‘Those towers and the tiny windows. It’s like something out of Udolpho … so romantic …’

‘It’s big,’ her more practical sister said, and felt her stomach catch with nerves.

She really hadn’t expected the house to be this large. It was impressive, with its towers and the soft, faded grey stone of its old walls, but daunting, a little forbidding. A myriad of tiny windows sparkled in the late-autumn sunshine, their leaded panes like so many diamonds twinkling as they caught the dying rays of the sun on a day that had been unseasonably warm.

‘A place like this needs an army of servants to keep it as it ought to be.’

‘Mr Breck told you that only one wing is in use for the family. The other two were closed up years ago—and the folly is actually unsafe.’

‘How do you know that, Millie?’ Selina looked at her. ‘Were you listening at the door?’

‘No, I read the letter he left for you—the one that tells you where all the keys are kept and all the other things he thinks you ought to know.’

‘Indeed?’ Her sister gave her a quelling look. ‘Since I did not give you permission to read my letter, you were prying, miss.’

‘If you don’t pry, you never know anything,’ Millie said, and looked pleased with herself. ‘I may only be twelve—thirteen next birthday—but I’m old enough to understand. You shouldn’t treat me as if I were a child, Selina.’

‘No, I shouldn’t. You are old enough to understand, miss—which is why I was cross when I caught you trying to pack that Book of Hours. It is medieval and far too valuable to hope that Cousin Joshua would not notice if it went missing.’

‘He’s a mean pig,’ Millie said, forgetting that she was a young lady. ‘Why should he have it? Papa said it was to be mine when I was sixteen. He promised me I should have it.’

‘Well, he ought not to have made a promise like that,’ Amy said. ‘Anyone knows that book is entailed, Millie. We were allowed to bring only personal things—that book must be worth near a thousand guineas. Cousin Joshua would certainly come after us if we took something so valuable. I had to leave that painting I liked, too.’

‘It just isn’t fair …’ Millie bit her lip as she looked at the house. ‘It looks a bit creepy. I bet there will be ghosts.’

‘Papa told us all there was no such thing as a ghost—not the kind who rattle chains, anyway—only unhappy spirits tied to a place or house,’ Selina reassured her calmly.

‘I hope there are ghosts,’ Amy said, and opened the door to jump down before the postilion could do it for her. ‘I can’t wait to see inside.’

As she began to walk towards it, the front door opened, and an elderly man dressed in black came down the steps to greet them. At his back was a woman of a similar age and two male servants who appeared to be outside workers.

Selina’s servants had travelled in a second small coach behind them, with the baggage on a wagon at the rear. They had arrived now, and by the time all three girls had got out, the servants were grouped behind them. When Selina moved forward, they followed, rather like guards of honour, as if prepared to defend her.

‘Miss Searles?’ The butler came forward, his eyes flicking to the women behind her, his expression wary. ‘I expected you earlier.’

‘We suffered a small delay at the last posting house,’ Selina told him with a smile. ‘You are Trent, of course. I am so relieved that you have remained at your post. I am sure your help will be invaluable.’

‘Well, ma’am,’ Trent said, visibly melting under the warmth of her smile, ‘I am sure I felt it my duty to the new earl. If traditions are not to be lost, he will need someone who recalls the old days when he decides to come home.’

‘Yes, of course,’ Selina replied easily. ‘And so shall we, for this is to be our home in the meantime, and we wish to do everything as it ought to be—and I know you will be able to tell me how things used to be, Trent. Although we may need to change certain things. I have only a few servants, as you see. My groom is bringing the horses, but I shall have to acquire a chaise for our use.’

‘I daresay there is one you may use in the coach house, ma’am—and the carriage horses are still here. The earl did not wish to dispose of them, you see. My brother’s grandson has been helping out in the stable while we waited to see what happened.’

‘Well, that would be useful—though I’m not sure I ought to take advantage.’

‘A tenant is entitled to use all the facilities, ma’am.’

‘Well, we shall see,’ Selina said. ‘Our goods are not far behind us. I see you have two strong men. Do you think they could unload the wagon for us?’

‘Certainly, ma’am, it’s what they’re here for. They will take your trunks up first, and then you may wish to direct them where to put your furniture.’

‘It will mostly go in our bedrooms. There are only a dozen pieces or so—also some china, glass, silver and linen. I have a beautiful spinet and a sewing table, also a pretty desk which may go in the parlour …’

‘We have several parlours. You must allow me to give you a tour, ma’am. You will want to decide which is for your personal use.’

‘How kind you are, Trent. I was afraid you might resent us because we’re not family,’ Selina said gently.

The old man looked sad. ‘We’ve lost our family, ma’am. All but the new earl. Until he decides to take a bride and bring the house back to life, we shall be glad to have a family like your own staying here.’

‘Thank you. Perhaps I may introduce you to Miss Amy Searles and Miss Millicent, known to us all as Millie.’

‘Pleased to meet the young ladies, I’m sure,’ Trent said, and turned towards the elderly lady standing behind him. ‘This is Nanny Barnes. Nanny had nowhere else to go, so like me she decided to stay while she was of use. Nanny is very good at preparing tisanes and the like—and she’s more than capable of helping to keep the rooms tidy, Miss Searles. She won’t ask for more than her keep.’

‘Oh, I think Mr Breck intends to pay you all a wage,’ Selina told him. ‘I shall certainly see that you receive remuneration of some kind. For the moment we shall manage with a small staff, but in time Mr Breck may consider it necessary to bring in others—particularly for the outside work.’

‘The old earl only used a few rooms, ma’am,’ Trent said, clearly feeling he needed to give her the status of an older woman, as she was the head of the household. ‘Should you wish to entertain on a large scale, you would need more than you have presently—if you do not mind my saying so.’

‘As you know, we are in mourning for our mother,’ Selina replied, a catch in her throat. ‘We shall not entertain much for a while.’ She frowned as a phrase he’d used more than once registered warning bells in her mind. ‘You spoke of the new earl—has the old earl died? We understood he was expected to live some months—even a few years if he removed to a better climate?’

‘Yes, that is so, Miss Searles. Unfortunately it seems he was caught in a sudden thunderstorm while out walking. The soaking he received gave him a nasty chill, which turned to pneumonia and led to his sudden demise.’

‘How very unfortunate,’ Selina said, and her heart caught. ‘You have not heard when the new earl intends to return?’

‘We suppose he will not think of it yet, since he has leased the house to you, ma’am,’ Trent said, and led the way inside. ‘Would you like Nanny to bring you some tea to the back parlour? It gets the evening sun and we had a fire lit there earlier. Your servants will need to find their way about before they start work, I imagine.’

‘Would it be too much trouble for you, Nanny?’ Selina glanced at the elderly lady, who had merely inclined her head when she was introduced yet watched them anxiously.

‘No trouble at all, ma’am,’ Nanny replied, taking her cue from Trent. ‘If the young ladies would join you in the parlour, Trent, I will bring some refreshments—and then we’ll take you up once your things have been carried up.’

‘I should love to explore,’ Amy said. ‘Tell me, Mr Trent—is there a minstrels’ gallery here, and do you have any priest holes?’ Her excitement showed in her pretty face. ‘I am hoping one of the towers is haunted!’

‘We have a minstrels’ gallery in the great hall, miss,’ Trent told her, an indulgent look in his eyes. ‘We have two priest holes, but I fear there is no haunted tower. We don’t have any skeletons in the cupboard—though the family has been unfortunate these past years.’

‘Will you show me the house?’ Amy asked. ‘I can’t wait to see simply everything.’

‘The folly is out of bounds, miss,’ Trent told her. ‘It’s dangerous because some of the stonework is crumbling. But there’s no reason you shouldn’t explore the rest of the house and estate whenever you wish.’

‘Not yet, Amy,’ Selina said. ‘We must give Jane and Betty time to get our things settled, and for the moment no one has time to show us the house. I do not want you getting lost on your first evening.’

‘Oh, nonsense,’ Amy said. ‘I shall not lose my way—but if you want me with you until things are ready, I suppose I must wait.’

‘I’m hungry,’ Millie said. ‘I don’t suppose there’s any cake?’

‘I’m sure Nanny baked something this morning,’ Trent told her. ‘She has been cooking for all of us since the earl left and most of the servants decided to move to a better place. Not that you could blame them for leaving in the circumstances. This house has been like a morgue for the past three years or more.’ He looked embarrassed. ‘I’m sorry, ma’am. I forgot for a moment that you’re in mourning, too.’

‘Yes, we are,’ Selina agreed. ‘But you mustn’t think we intend to dwell on our sorrow, for we don’t. Mama would hate it if we all went around with long faces. She always wanted us to be happy, and she will want us to make the best of our situation. We shall wear black or grey until Christmas, when I intend to hold a little party. However, we shall be at home to our neighbours, should any call—and we shall attend small dinners soon. We may also ask one or two people to dine here on occasion, but nothing resembling a party until Christmas.’

‘That sounds very much better than we’ve been used to,’ Trent said, patently relieved. ‘I daresay we could send to the village for extra help should you need it, ma’am.’

‘We are accustomed to keeping our own rooms tidy—at least Amy and I do our best.’ Selina arched one delicate eyebrow at her youngest sister. ‘I am trying to teach Millie to be a little more careful of her things, but sometimes I despair of her.’

Sensing the teasing note underlying Selina’s words, Trent smiled and nodded. Having delivered his new family to a charming parlour that overlooked the back lawns and rose gardens, he left them to go in search of Nanny and their refreshments.

‘What shall we do if the new earl comes home?’ Amy asked in a low voice as the butler left them. ‘He instructed Mr Breck to employ a housekeeper, not let the house to a non-paying tenant.’

‘We shall pay our way,’ Selina said firmly. ‘I do not wish for any remuneration, but I intend to keep the house in good order. We shall all clean our own bedrooms. Amy, you will do the flowers for the rooms we use, and Millie can help by picking up books, scarves and any other personal items we leave about. It is my intention to make an inventory of the linen and household goods. I shall beeswax the furniture in the rooms we use, for it has not been done in an age. Cook will rule in the kitchen as always, Jane will organise our clothes, and Betty will see to the other housework and help Cook. We may need help from the village for the laundry, but if we all do our share, I see no reason why we should not bring the house to life again.’

‘Amy is always leaving things about,’ Millie said, looking put out. ‘I do not see why I should pick her things up.’

‘You leave far more about than I do. Besides, I’m doing the flowers—and that takes ages,’ Amy replied.

‘You can change jobs if you wish,’ Selina said, ‘But I cannot do it all myself, and so you must help. I shall help with the estate, as well as organising the house, keeping our accounts and ordering what we can afford from the local suppliers. Please do not argue, Millie. I am finding the prospect quite daunting enough as it is.’

Millie looked self-conscious. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s just all so new and … so horrid without Mama. I shouldn’t have minded where we were if she was with us.’

‘Please don’t cry, my love,’ Selina begged, her throat closing. ‘I do know how you feel but … we are lucky to have this chance. Even if it only lasts for a few months, it will give us the opportunity to decide where we want to live when the earl does come home.’

‘I wasn’t going to cry.’ Millie sniffed hard, holding back her tears. ‘But why did Cousin Joshua have to be so mean?’

‘He is entitled to instruct the builders to make repairs. Mama ought to have done it sooner—indeed, it was truly Papa who was at fault. Instead of gambling his money away in London, he should have stayed at home and looked after his estate.’

‘I shall never understand how it happened,’ Amy said, her eyes glittering with suppressed anger. ‘Papa never gambled to excess. I think he must have been cheated.’

‘Why did he gamble at all?’ Millie asked.

‘Because he knew that the estate was suffering,’ Selina explained, as she had several times previously. ‘We had two bad harvests, and there was that nasty sickness that killed off most of our prime herd of cattle—and then Father made a bad investment with some merchant or other. He hoped he might win a few thousand pounds to tide him over until the harvest came in.’

‘Instead, he lost what money he had and—’ Amy choked. ‘I shall never forgive him for doing that to Mama. She loved him so much, and his death in that manner broke her heart.’

‘It broke all our hearts,’ Selina said, and held out her arms to her sisters. ‘Come here, my dear ones. We have each other and in that we are lucky. We may be poor, but we still have our pride and our love for each other—as long as we have that, we shall manage.’

‘You shame us,’ Amy said, and brushed her tears away. ‘You’ve had most of the burden to bear—and then Lord Markham stopped calling when he learned Papa had—’ She broke off and shook her head. ‘No, we shall not think of it again. Millie, we must help Selina all we can. The work will only take an hour or so in the mornings and then we may do as we like. I cannot wait to explore and discover the history of the house. Do you suppose there is a library and records of the family?’

Selina nodded and hugged both of her sisters in turn. ‘That’s right, Amy. We must all find ways to enjoy ourselves. It will seem more like home when we have our own things about us—and it will not be long until Christmas. We shall have a little party then, and presents, all the decorations we brought from home—and we’ll make new ones.’

They heard a little cough from the hallway and then the door opened. Nanny entered, followed by Trent, who carried a large tray. He set it down on a table next to Selina’s chair. Nanny had brought a stand on which she had placed plates of cakes, dainty pastries and some little sweet treats. Clearly it was not the work of a few minutes, which meant she must have spent some hours earlier that afternoon in preparing for their arrival.

‘How lovely,’ Selina said. ‘Nanny, you must have worked very hard. I cannot thank you enough for making us feel so welcome.’

‘I had some help, ma’am,’ Nanny said, and looked self-conscious. ‘Sadie is not quite as she ought to be. No one in the village will employ her, but she comes here to be with me because I helped her when she needed me, and the old cook here showed her how to cook. Makes wonderful cakes, she does—never asks more than a few pence and her dinner.’

Selina sighed inwardly as she saw her slender funds diminishing rapidly. At this rate she would have to apply to Mr Breck for more help with the servants’ wages, but Nanny’s words left her little option.

‘I can see someone has worked extremely hard,’ she said. ‘You must thank Sadie for me. Does she live in the house?’

‘Oh, no, miss, Sadie is a wild creature, a law unto herself. She can be an angel one day and the next she’s off roaming the woods, getting up to who knows what. I think she has a hut in the woods somewhere.’

‘I see. Well, at least she is no trouble to you, then.’

‘Good as gold, she is, with me—but not always with others, if you see what I mean.’

Selina feared she did. This wild girl Sadie sounded more of a liability than a help, but she would not turn her away unless she caused trouble in the house. She tasted the cake cautiously, half expecting to find salt had been used instead of sugar, but it was in fact delicious.

‘This is very nice,’ she said. ‘I do not think my cook could do better.’

‘I’ll tell my girl you were pleased,’ Nanny said, and smiled. ‘Like a daughter to me, she is, ma’am—for all her faults.’

‘Well, I shall expect you to look out for her,’ Selina said. ‘In the meantime, I can pay her a shilling a week and her meals—if that is sufficient? If you think she needs more, I will apply to Mr Breck.’

‘No, please don’t do that, ma’am. The old earl told me to send her away—thought she was a troublemaker, he did, and Mr Breck would say the same. A shilling and her dinner will do very well for Sadie.’

‘Then I shall allow her to come here, providing she causes no trouble in the house,’ Selina said. ‘Clearly you are fond of her, and I have no wish to cause anyone unhappiness. There is sufficient of that in life without creating more.’

She’d had her share of it—not least the disappointment she’d suffered when she was sixteen and her first love affair had come to naught, leaving her with sweet but empty memories.

‘That’s what I always say.’

Nanny nodded approvingly, and Selina knew she had passed the first test with flying colours. How many more there would be before she was fully accepted here she did not know, but she had a feeling she would soon find out.

‘The library is wonderful,’ Millie said the next morning, when Selina found her two sisters sitting in the parlour they had used the previous evening.

It smelled of lavender, and she realised they had been polishing and cleaning with a will. The beautiful old furniture was gleaming and nothing was out of place. They had positioned their mother’s sewing box beside a comfortable chair they had brought with them, and the men had carried in the delicate spinet to stand before the window. On the mantelpiece were the silver candlesticks that had belonged to their mama, and a French silver-gilt clock with painted enamel sides. She might almost have been in her own home, and a lump came to her throat.

‘Oh, you have been busy. Everything looks … like Mama’s parlour.’

‘Except it is too tidy,’ Millie said. ‘We always left our books and our sewing about, but otherwise it is very like home.’

‘Yes.’ Selina smiled, because they had worked hard to please her. ‘Is there a good selection of books—books you can read and enjoy?’ So often people filled their libraries with boring books covered in leather to look smart, which they never read.

‘Oh, yes.’ Millie sighed with pleasure, for reading was a particular favourite with her. ‘There are novels, plays, books of poems, as well as history—and a wonderful Bestiary with marvellous drawings that have been coloured in.’

‘Then you will not miss Papa’s books so much. I hated telling you that you must leave your favourite books, dearest.’

Millie looked away with a little shake of her head, a rather odd expression on her face. Selina wondered, but then forgot as Amy went into raptures about the family journals and the portraits she’d discovered in the gallery.

‘Trent showed me the priest holes and the minstrels’ gallery. They are in the west wing, which is not used now—though it could be, for there is nothing wrong with any of the rooms. All the furniture is under dustcovers, which makes it look sad, but it could be brought to life again with a little industry.’

‘We might open it up for Christmas,’ Selina said. ‘I have been so busy with sorting out cupboards and the household accounts that I haven’t seen as much as I would like of the house. However, I promised Mr Breck I would see to the business of the house and what I can of the estate accounts. Mr Breck has employed a bailiff to overlook the tenant farmers, and a couple of keepers for the park, but from what I’ve seen, two gardeners are hardly enough. I mean to pry into everything so that I can send Mr Breck my report by the end of the week.’

‘After luncheon you must at least explore this wing,’ Amy said, just as the gong sounded. ‘Ah, that sounds as if it is ready. You know we are to have a simple buffet now and serve ourselves? Mr Trent offered to serve us himself, but I said we shouldn’t need him until this evening.’

‘Quite right. I believe he has enough to do with cleaning the silver and making sure everything is as it ought to be downstairs.’

‘It’s quite an adventure looking after ourselves, isn’t it?’ Millie said, surprising them both as they all trooped into the little dining parlour. ‘I thought I should hate it but I’ve had fun.’

‘Yes, of course you have,’ Selina said. ‘We can make what we want of our lives. We do not need a house filled with servants and lots of money to be happy.’

‘I should like a new dress for Christmas, though,’ Millie said. ‘Mama said I would have my gowns made in a different way when I was thirteen—and my birthday is the week before Christmas.’

‘We haven’t forgotten,’ Amy said, and raised her eyebrows at her elder sister. ‘When do you ever let us?’

‘Please do not quarrel now,’ Selina said. ‘We can still have new gowns sometimes, Millie. It’s just that they may not always be the best silk—and we may have to make them ourselves.’

‘I can’t sew!’ Millie exclaimed with horror. ‘Please don’t say I have to make my dress myself, Selina.’

‘Amy and I will make it for you,’ Selina promised. ‘Besides, you must learn to set simple stitches. I wish we had some way of earning money that was acceptable in society, but I fear that if Amy became a companion she would lose her chance of a good marriage. Perhaps you should have a little season in Bath next spring, Amy. It is not so expensive as London, and we might contrive a wardrobe for you—but I am not sure we could all go. Besides, I shall be busy here.’

‘What about Great-Aunt Hilda?’ Millie asked. ‘I know she and Mama did not like each other—but she sent us all a present for our christenings.’

‘And nothing since,’ Amy reminded her. ‘She and Mama fell out over something, and Aunt Hilda has never visited or sent even a card since. She would not consider taking me to Bath with her. I am not sure I should wish to go if I were beholden to her’

‘It all depends how much my pearls bring when I sell them,’ Selina said. ‘I am certain one of Mama’s friends would take you, providing we did not expect her to pay for your clothes or expenses. If you found a rich husband, he might give Millie a home with you. I should then be able to find work as a companion, or perhaps a governess …’

‘No, you would not,’ Amy contradicted. ‘If he wanted to marry me, he would have you to stay often. Given your chance, I am sure you would find a rich husband.’

‘I suppose I might.’

Selina held her peace. She was not at all sure she wanted to marry for the sake of a fortune and a home. She was finding her present position more than satisfactory. Indeed, had it not been that she feared to spoil her sisters’ chances, she would, she thought, be content to find a position as housekeeper in a house much like this one.

Selina had refused the three hundred pounds a year Mr Breck had offered to pay her, which would have solved all her financial problems, because it would not do for the sister of two young ladies who had yet to establish themselves in life to be known as a paid housekeeper. If they were taken care of, she could be quite independent without worrying how it might affect their lives. No one would even have to know that she existed.

The more she thought about it, the more she thought that she would be content to work for her living. It might be preferable to marrying a man she did not love just to gain a home. Or was she just being foolish because of a long-held dream?

The picture of a young soldier’s face entered her mind, and she smiled at the memory. He’d swept her off her feet that night, giving her a taste of feelings and sensations so intense that she knew no one else would ever measure up. Indeed, she’d been so carried away that she had allowed him liberties no decent young woman should. Did that make her a wanton?

He’d said he would return to claim her one day—what did that mean? Had he meant marriage or …? Her cheeks flamed. Had he thought her wanton because she’d been carried away by her feelings? Sometimes Selina was shocked when she recalled what he’d done, but then she remembered how sweet had been the touch of his lips, and she could not be ashamed of what had been so pleasurable.

No, she would not let her thoughts dwell in the past. Time enough to think of her own future. First she had to make sure that Amy and Millie were safe, and until then she must struggle on as best she could.

CHAPTER THREE

‘YOU are jesting?’ Henry Norton stared at his friend in genuine surprise. ‘She turned you down? Have her wits gone begging or did you offend her?’

Robert smiled wryly. ‘You know me too well, Nor. I was too direct, of course. Told her it would not be a love match while assuring her that I was fond of her and found her desirable as a companion and a mother for my children.’

‘I am not surprised she turned you down. Indeed, I wonder that you escaped unscathed to tell the tale. Knowing her temper, I would have expected you to bear some injury. What possessed you to say such a thing to the lady? You might have known she would be angry. The fair Adelaide has a score of gentlemen languishing at her feet.’

‘Well, they may take their chances with her and good luck. She is beautiful but a spoiled brat,’ Robert said, and touched his cheek with feeling. ‘Not quite unscathed, Nor. The lady packs quite a punch, believe me.’

‘No less than you deserved.’ Henry was unsympathetic. ‘If you wanted her to accept, you should have … But of course you didn’t.’ He nodded knowingly as he saw Robert’s expression. ‘You felt it your duty to offer for her, after flirting with her so outrageously for months, but you never truly wished to marry her, did you?’

‘I confess it was done out of duty, for I had unwittingly led the lady to believe an offer was forthcoming.’ Robert sighed heavily. ‘I have behaved very badly. I know she is all that most men require in a wife, but she is not for me.’

‘Good grief, what are you looking for—a saint?’

‘No …’ Robert laughed in an oddly defensive way. ‘Would it be too much to ask that the lady should love me—or at least hold me in warm affection? I know I’m not the easiest of men. My nightmares would scare a young woman. I thought since Adelaide had been married once before she might be looking for a marriage of convenience, but it seems she demands utter devotion, and that I cannot promise. I’m not sure I shall ever be able to give my whole self to a woman. I’ve seen too much, Nor—cried too many tears. My heart broke on the Spanish Peninsula campaign, and I’m not sure I can feel love again.’

Henry nodded. He felt much as Robert did. The death of so many friends had left deep wounds that might never heal. But Robert had suffered more. Henry had watched him as he held Juanita in his arms, nursing her through a night during which she had been racked with terrible pain—pain inflicted by a renegade band of English soldiers. To see a young and beautiful woman destroyed so utterly as Juanita had been was something any man might find hard to forget. Raped, beaten and left for dead, she’d lived long enough to tell her tale, name her torturers, and die in her lover’s arms.

Sometimes Henry wished she’d died sooner, before he and Robert had found her. Perhaps then his friend would have recovered. But the experience had scarred him deeply, leaving him with terrible nightmares that haunted him still, even after two years spent recuperating in the peace and warmth of the hills of Tuscany.

‘Well, since there is no longer a reason for you to stay here, perhaps we should return to England.’

‘Yes, I believe we should,’ Robert agreed. ‘You wrote to Mr Breck and told him I would return before Christmas?’

‘I told him it was your intention. But you do not intend to visit the Banford Hall estate at once, I think?’

‘It will keep for a while. We shall go to London. Breck may arrange for the townhouse to be opened up, and we’ll go there for a week or two. My own estate was small and disposed of when I decided to stay here, but the money was invested. I shall want to investigate the state of my finances, which I believe to be more than adequate. As I told you, Nor—I do not think I can bear to live in that mausoleum of a house. It will have to come down if I’m to live there, but it may be better just to sell.’

‘I’ll write to Breck again before we leave, warning him of your intentions. When shall we go—next month?’

‘Why not sooner?’ Robert smiled. ‘We’ll pay a brief visit to Paris, and get home in time to prepare for Christmas.’

Selina looked around her with satisfaction. She and her sisters, and Jane and Betty, had spent the past three weeks cleaning and sorting out the neglect of years. The parlours, drawing room, dining room and breakfast parlour were all now in good order. Furniture had been polished, carpets beaten and silver burnished. The main staircase—a magnificent relic from medieval times, intricately carved—when they arrived had been ingrained with dust. Now the dark oak gleamed with polish, its faded beauty restored.

‘It looks much better now, Miss Selina,’ Betty said with a nod of satisfaction. ‘I’ve never sneezed so much in my life without having a chill—everywhere was so dusty. I think the drawing room had not been used in years.’

‘Well, we have made big changes.’ Selina was pleased because she had discovered some beautiful pieces of walnut furniture that had been languishing under dustcovers in the unused wings. By bringing in useful items like desks and small tables, pretty chairs with spindly legs and a comfortable sofa, she had transformed the rooms they were to use. The heavier, ugly pieces had been transferred to one of the unused rooms. ‘Everything in here was so heavy and dull—and all those lovely things going to waste …’

‘I hope the new earl won’t mind.’ Betty looked doubtful. ‘Some folk hate things to be changed, you know, miss.’

‘Well, he isn’t here, is he?’ Selina replied. ‘If he cared about his uncle’s home, he would have come back at once to see what needed to be done to set it to rights. Besides, all I’ve done is make the rooms we use comfortable and pretty.’

‘You’ve certainly made them your own,’ Betty said. ‘I’d best away to the kitchen, miss. Cook is making puddings and cakes for Christmas, and she needs a hand.’

‘I thought Sadie was helping her?’

‘Her?’ Betty sniffed. ‘Comes and goes as she thinks fit. That one is more trouble than she’s worth, mark my words. You’ll rue the day you allowed her to stay.’

‘What has she done?’

‘I’m not one to tell tales, miss, you know me—but she’s been hanging around with James the gardener. A girl like that … Well, stands to reason he’s only after one—’ Betty broke off and blushed. ‘I shouldn’t have said that, Miss Selina.’

‘No, you shouldn’t,’ Selina said. ‘Unless she causes trouble, I shan’t send her away, Betty. Nanny cares for her, and she keeps her in line. I’ll give Nanny a hint about James and she can warn Sadie to be careful.’

Selina had caught only glimpses of Sadie, for the girl seemed to avoid the family. Once or twice she’d caught her peering in at the window when she’d been talking to Cook in the kitchens, and she’d seen her running across the lawns at the back of the house on two occasions, but otherwise Selina would hardly have known she was there had Nanny not told her.

Selina frowned as she thought of the beautiful wild girl who was not quite a part of their household. She was a law unto herself, dreamy, and apt to walk off in the middle of a task, so Cook said, and then come back a day later expecting to start again where she’d left it. Selina wasn’t sure whether she was a little simple or just wild and contrary, but she had caused no trouble thus far.

Indeed, everything had been going very well. They had begun to receive one or two callers—just the vicar and some of their nearest neighbours—and she was thinking of having an afternoon when she would invite ladies to call for refreshments. They had met others when they attended church on Sundays, and everyone seemed friendly and a little curious about the family at Banford Hall. So far two gentlemen had ridden over to ask if they could be of any help. Both were gentlemen farmers, men of independent means, but they had country manners and lacked the town polish that she and her sisters had been used to in their friends. Neither was quite what Selina hoped for as a suitor for her sister.

‘Miss Searles …’

‘Yes, Trent …’ Selina was brought back from her reverie by the elderly butler’s arrival. ‘Is there something I can do for you?’

‘A letter has arrived marked as urgent. I thought I should bring it to you at once.’

‘An urgent letter?’ Selina looked at him in surprise and some consternation. She took the small envelope from the salver and glanced at the writing. ‘It is from Mr Breck …’ Opening it swiftly, she gave a little gasp of shock and turned pale. ‘Yes, it is important, Trent. Thank you for drawing it to my attention. Do you know where Miss Amy is, by any chance?’

‘She is in the small parlour, miss. Shall I tell her you wish to see her?’

‘No, I shall go to her,’ Selina said. ‘Please excuse me.’

Leaving the butler staring after her in a puzzled manner, Selina walked swiftly to the parlour they had made their own. She was fortunate to find Amy at her sewing. Their younger sister was, of course, in the library, which was her favourite place at any time of day.

‘I am not sure what to make of this,’ she said, and handed Amy the letter. ‘Mr Breck says we are to remain here for the moment, but I am not sure how we can.’

Amy read the letter and looked at her in consternation. ‘He says the earl is expected in England any day now. Oh, Selina, after all our hard work—and just when we were beginning to make friends.’

‘Apparently the earl does not intend to live here for the moment. It seems he will make his home in London—and he is thinking of pulling down the house and building a new place.’

‘Oh, how could he?’ Amy stared at her in genuine distress. ‘This house is so beautiful and has so much history.’

‘It is also draughty, and if all the rooms were opened up would require a small army of servants. We have worked hard ourselves, Amy. Betty could never have managed it alone.’ Selina looked ruefully at her hands. ‘I shall have to wear lace gloves when we have visitors, for my hands are a disgrace.’

‘And now he will come and take it all away from us and destroy everything we’ve done.’ Amy’s eyes glittered angrily. ‘It is so unfair, Selina.’

‘Life is often unfair,’ Selina said, and sighed. ‘Do you remember when Mama took me to Bath seven years ago? I was just sixteen then, and she needed to take the waters for her health.’

‘Yes. I remember you seemed very quiet when you returned.’ Amy frowned. ‘I don’t see what … Sorry, please continue, Selina.’

‘There was a man—a captain in the army. He was so handsome, and he was about to depart for Spain. He and his friends were at an assembly that Mama and I attended. My card was filled before he arrived, but he … he cut in and started to flirt with me. I felt as if I were in a dream, Amy. He said such things to me—told me I was an angel straight from heaven … so beautiful that I made his heart weep. He took me out into the garden and kissed me, told me that he adored me and that one day he would come back for me. I’m not certain what he meant, but I think he was a little squiffy, because the next day he passed Mama and I as we walked to the pump room and did not even glance my way. I suppose that he was merely flirting with me …’

‘How perfectly horrid of him,’ Amy said, outraged for her sister. ‘What happened after that? Did you tell him he was not a gentleman?’

‘I did not have a chance. I learned from a lady whose house we visited that Robert Moorcroft and his friends had departed for Spain, where they were to join Wellington—or Wellesley, as he was then known—on campaign.’

‘So he was merely flirting with you and drunk on the eve of leaving for war?’ Amy frowned. ‘I should have been angry with him for taking advantage.’

‘No, I wasn’t angry.’ Selina smiled. ‘I was young and foolish. I should not have gone into the garden with him that night. Mama had warned me about allowing gentlemen to take advantage … But I liked him so much, and it all seemed so romantic. I was carried away on a tide of pleasure and I forgot Mama’s warnings. Of course I know now he was just flirting with me—but somehow I have never been able to forget him.’

‘Is that why you do not wish to marry for money?’

‘I suppose it may be,’ Selina replied. ‘I shall not say he broke my heart, for he did not—but he spoiled me for others. I have not been able to see any other man in the same light.’

‘Yes, I understand that,’ Amy said. ‘Is he the reason why you took this position?’

‘In a way. Since I have no real desire to marry, I thought this would be a way out of our difficulties. But if the earl returns and no longer requires my services …’

Amy frowned. ‘What are we to do? You were thinking of inviting our neighbours to a Christmas Eve party. Shall we still be here, or must we look for another home?’

‘Mr Breck insists that we must stay as we are for the moment. He will speak to the earl when he sees him and ask if we may stay on until he is ready to demolish the house.’

‘Who is going to demolish the house?’ Millie asked, coming in at that moment. She had a book in hand, and had obviously been immersed in it until that moment. ‘What are you whispering about? Why does no one ever tell me anything?’

‘The earl is returning to England. He intends to live in London for the moment, but apparently he wishes to pull this house down and build a new one in its place.’

‘He can’t,’ Millie wailed. ‘Oh, I hate him. I’ve just got to like being here. Men are horrid. I wish they would all go to war and get killed so we could live as we please.’

‘Millie! That isn’t nice,’ Selina admonished. ‘The earl is not concerned with us for the time being, so we may carry on as we wish. Mr Breck is coming down next week to have a look at what we’ve done and make a check on a few things I pointed out to him. He may know more of the earl’s intentions then. If he gives us a few months, we shall be able to find a nice cottage somewhere.’

‘It won’t be like living here, in this wonderful old house,’ Millie said and her eyes filled with tears. ‘We shan’t have many books, and there are so many I want to read.’

‘Well, perhaps the earl won’t want to be bothered with this place for a while,’ Selina said hopefully. ‘I should not have come here had I thought this would happen—but it seemed ideal for us. Had we been granted a few months of peace, Amy might have found a husband, and I … well, I might have found something, too.’

‘Don’t worry, dearest,’ Amy said, a gleam in her eyes. ‘I’ll find a husband by Christmas—you see if I don’t. All we have to do is give a few dinner parties and invite all the eligible men and their mothers and sisters.’ She smiled confidently. ‘I might not catch an earl or a lord, but I don’t mind a sir—or even a plain mister if he is rich enough.’

‘No, you must not rush into marriage for our sakes,’ Selina said hastily. ‘Please promise me you will not, dearest. I want you to be happy. Millie and I will manage in a cottage for the time being if we have to—but you must marry well. You were born to shine in society, my love, and I refuse to let you sacrifice yourself for us.’

‘It would not be a sacrifice if he could give me the things I want—and provide a decent home for you.’

‘But you like to mix in good society, and you long for a season. No, Amy, whatever happens I will not have you sacrificing yourself for us. Remember you are not yet twenty and I am your guardian. I shall not allow it.’

‘You would not refuse me if I really wished to marry?’

‘Not if you were in love and the gentleman was suitable,’ Selina said firmly. ‘Do not give up yet, my dears. We owe this placing to Mr Breck, and should we need to move on, I think we can rely on him to help us. We shall simply carry on as before.’

‘My instructions were that you should employ a housekeeper, sir,’ Robert said, glaring down at the lawyer from his superior height. ‘My uncle did not wish for a tenant and neither do I.’

‘You said you would not be returning for some years, my lord. I thought there could be no harm in it since the young ladies were in such desperate straits. They had to leave their home before the builders moved in—and they have taken good care of your property, I assure you. Miss Searles is an excellent manager, and had been helping to care for her father’s estate for the past three years.’

‘I take it she is a spinster of advancing years?’

‘I would not say that, sir—though she is not a very young lady. In her early twenties, I believe. Miss Amy is nearly twenty, and the youngest girl will be thirteen shortly.’ Mr Breck threw him an anxious look. ‘It was my intention to visit them tomorrow and discuss the matter. I have heard of a house that might be suitable, but it will not be vacant until the second week in January. If you could see your way clear to allowing them to stay until then …’

Robert’s expression hardened. ‘You say she is acting as an unpaid housekeeper?’

‘It was an arrangement that I thought suitable, my lord, though I offered remuneration. Miss Searles felt unable to accept a monetary reward. She needed a home quickly and the house was empty. She and her sisters and her servants have moved in—and I’ve had good reports of her. She has already found some things that she thought needed to be brought to my attention regarding the tenants of one of your two farms.’

‘Indeed? What may that be? I should hardly have thought a young, single woman capable of finding something my uncle or his bailiff had missed.’

‘It was to do with a tithe that was payable to the church but had been mistakenly paid to the estate, but it does not, however, show up in the accounts. Also, there was a matter of a lease on some land that had lapsed, and the tenants had been allowed to stay on—if no rent is paid, they could claim the land in another few years. I have already set the matter of a new lease in hand, so you may thank her for it.’

‘Remarkable. One wonders how my uncle’s man of business could have overlooked something of that sort—unless he had good reason?’ Robert said thoughtfully.

‘Precisely. Miss Searles thinks there might be some kind of relationship between the agent and the tenant. Your uncle’s agent left rather abruptly when the earl told him you would be taking over the charge of the estate. I think what Miss Searles uncovered may be the tip of the iceberg, my lord. I daresay your uncle had been cheated for some years.’

‘In that case I cannot put off my visit for as long as I planned. I must go down and poke about—discover just what has been going on.’

‘Will you wish Miss Searles and her family to leave?’

‘No, of course not. I am not a barbarian and nor do I have a heart of stone. I think there are enough rooms for us to share a house for a while. Pay your visit as you planned, Mr Breck—and tell Miss Searles I shall come down in eight days from tomorrow. She may hire some more servants from the village and open up the west wing. I shall move in there with Henry Norton and Jobis. Jobis was my batman in the army, and he looks after me as well as most valets—though I admit he does not understand how to black my boots. I have hired a man to help for my stay in town, but I shall not be taking him with me to the country. Henry, Jobis and my grooms are all I need for the moment.’

‘As you wish, my lord.’

Robert stared out of the office window at the busy London streets. Rather to his surprise, he had found them dirty and less than welcoming after the warmth and beauty of Italy.

‘Before I can think of pulling the house down, I must have plans drawn. If you could furnish me with the name of a good architect, I shall ask him to come down—perhaps stay over Christmas and give me an idea of the cost of a complete rebuild.’

‘Very well, my lord. It is generous of you to agree to my clients staying on in the house for the moment. I shall tell the ladies they can stay until the new house is vacant—which means they can have Christmas where they are. I believe it was Miss Searles’s intention to give a little party for your neighbours.’

‘As I am in official mourning for my uncle, it must not be a large gathering, but I see no reason why she should not have a small one if she wishes—though you did say she is also in mourning?’

‘Yes, my lord. However, she wanted to get to know her neighbours.’

‘Who will not be hers for much longer …’

‘She will not be moving too far. The house I have found is a large farmhouse no more than ten miles from your estate. The owner is settled abroad and the tenancy is for five years—should she wish to take it.’

‘Then she must do as she thinks fit,’ Robert said, and frowned again. ‘The name seems to ring a bell, but I do not recall having met the family.’

‘Her father was Lord Richard Searles, and her mother was a Seymour of the Devon branch—but they were country gentry. I believe they rarely visited London. Lady Searles was often an invalid. Some years ago she paid a few visits to Bath to take the waters, but then her health deteriorated and she stayed at home. Her husband visited London alone sometimes—and that was when he was … unfortunate enough to lose most of his money at the tables.’

‘You say the house was entailed?’

‘It was free of a mortgage, but some of the land was pledged to the bank. Their cousin inherited it, as he is the last of the male line, and he intends to let or sell what is left of the estate.’

‘And he could not be persuaded to allow the ladies to live there?’

‘He claimed they would be better with him—but Miss Searles declined. She feared his intentions towards herself and did not wish to marry him.’

‘She would rather become an unpaid housekeeper than marry respectably?’ Robert’s frown cleared. ‘She sounds an interesting and determined young woman, Mr Breck. Pray tell her she may stay on in the house until next year. I shall not bother her—but she may leave the management of the estate to me. She will continue in the role of unofficial housekeeper. I have no interest in such things.’

‘I am certain she will be grateful, sir,’ Mr Breck said. ‘I cannot tell you how you have relieved my mind.’

‘You exceeded your brief,’ Robert said. ‘It might have been awkward had I returned with a bride.’

‘Your lordship is thinking of marrying?’

‘Perhaps …’ Robert was disinclined to reveal more of his personal plans. ‘For the moment Miss Searles and her family may remain in residence. If she will kindly have the west wing prepared for my arrival, I shall be obliged to her.’

‘Of course, my lord. I am certain she can have no objection to sharing the house with you. It is, of course, your house.’

‘I am glad you have remembered that fact,’ Robert replied with a hint of sarcasm. ‘Might I advise you to follow my instructions to the letter in future?’

‘Yes, my lord. I was wrong, but …’ Mr Breck quailed before his look, feeling chastened. ‘Of course. Just as you say.’

‘No need to look so crushed,’ Robert said, and laughed. ‘Just a friendly word of advice. Had you asked beforehand, I might well have granted your request. I had no thought of visiting the estate while my uncle lived—but it is clearly my duty, and I now understand why he wished me to take charge of it. If there is one thing I cannot tolerate, it is that an elderly man grieving for his lost loved ones should be cheated. If I discover there was more than the customary practice going on, heads will roll …’

‘You must not blame yourself, Mr Breck,’ Selina said, concerned to see how distressed the lawyer looked as he told her the news. ‘You have given us a breathing space—and if the new house is not too far away, any friends we make here will be near enough for us to visit.’

‘I fear the property is nothing like this, Miss Searles. I was so sure you would have this for at least a year or more, which might have given you time—’ He broke off, looking self-conscious. ‘Forgive me, I presume too much.’

‘Not at all, sir. It was my hope that I might see my sister make a good marriage. If she should be fortunate enough to do so, I could leave Millie to her care and take a position in the house of a lady for myself.’

‘You must not think of it, my dear Miss Searles. As a temporary arrangement, it is allowable, but you should be living as a lady—not serving one as a housekeeper or a companion.’

‘I think I may not have much choice. I am past the first flush of my youth, sir. I should have had my season three years ago, or sooner, but circumstances would not allow. Papa still had a little money then, and Mama, too. Now I have no prospects and very little as a dowry. Indeed, what I have may need to be spent to ensure Amy has her chance.’

‘Well, you must not act precipitately,’ he advised. ‘Now, you understand the situation? I am sure you can manage to live under the same roof as the earl for a few weeks.’

‘Yes, that should not prove too difficult,’ Selina said, managing to smile. ‘My offer stands, Mr Breck. If you would care to bring your wife to stay for the Christmas period, we should be glad to have you.’

‘Alas, Mrs Breck has made arrangements for her family to visit us. She is most disappointed, for she is of a romantic turn of mind and would have loved to see this place before … the earl may decide to pull it all down and build a new home for himself and his wife.’

‘He is newly married?’ Selina enquired.

‘Oh, no. I believe he may have it in mind, but I have heard nothing definite. Please do not tell him I mentioned the possibility, for it was merely a chance remark.’

‘I should not dream of it,’ Selina replied. ‘Were I to have continued here as the tenant, I should have asked your wife to visit later in the year, but I fear we must leave as soon as this other house becomes vacant.’

‘Then you will take it?’ Mr Breck looked relieved. ‘I promised your dear mama to do what I could for you, and if I have found a solution to your problems, I am happy.’

Selina refrained from telling him that Lady Searles would be less than pleased with the way things had gone for her beloved daughters. Mr Breck had done his best and they must just make the most of it. At least they would still be here for Christmas. Even if they did have to share the house with its rightful owner.

‘He is here,’ Millie said dramatically as she threw open the parlour door eight days later and entered, carrying a basket of eggs she had fetched from the farm nearest to the estate. ‘I saw his chaise arrive. He has brought a baggage coach weighed down with trunks, boxes and crates. Trent says he has collected some art treasures in Italy, but they are to be stored for the moment—until he builds his new house. So we shall not see what is inside them all.’

‘You must not think of intruding on the earl’s privacy,’ Selina told her sister. ‘Just because you can walk into the west wing unheeded, you must not take advantage. The earl is entitled to expect common courtesy from us—all of us. If we wish to speak with him, we shall either send a message by Trent, asking for the favour of an interview, or we shall go to the side door and ring the bell, just as if we were paying a visit to one of our neighbours.’

Millie’s mouth set in a mutinous line. ‘The library is between the two wings. I do hope he will not ban us from using it. I shall simply die if I cannot read more of those wonderful books.’

‘When he has had time to settle in, he may—’ Selina had been going to say he might pay a courtesy call, but at that moment Trent entered the parlour, looking a little flustered.

‘Forgive me, ma’am,’ he said. ‘The earl has just arrived, and he asks that you attend him in the library.’

‘There you are,’ Millie wailed. ‘I knew he would say it was his. It will be just like Cousin Joshua all over again.’

‘It is not the same at all,’ Selina replied, sounding calmer than she felt. She smoothed her skirts, then patted her hair, tucking a wisp behind her ear. She had dragged it back into a tight knot at her nape, hoping it made her look older. ‘I shall come at once, Trent.’

She left her sisters whispering together and walked in a measured pace toward the library. Because Millie loved it so much, she had allowed her sister to have some comfortable chairs installed, rather than the hard sofas which had been there previously, and a fire would have been lit that morning, as it was every day. Reaching the door, she knocked and then entered.

Two men were standing before the fire. As they turned to face her, her heart caught with sudden pain. She knew one of them immediately, and the shock held her as if she had turned to stone. He had changed, but she recognised him for the dashing captain who’d kissed her on the eve of his departure for Spain. How could it be? She had thought never to see him again, but here he was—yet who was he, exactly? Could he be the Earl Banford?

‘Good morning, gentlemen,’ she said, and dipped in a slight curtsey. Her heart was racing wildly, and she felt as if she might faint, but she held her raging emotions on a tight rein. ‘I am Miss Searles—Miss Selina Searles. My sisters are Miss Amy and Miss Millicent.’

‘Miss Searles.’ The man with a scarred cheek inclined his head. ‘Henry Norton at your service. I am secretary to Earl Banford—or, as he prefers to be called, Captain Moorcroft.’

‘And also my friend,’ the slightly taller of the two said, with a wry look at his companion. ‘Nor and I saw service together. He takes care of all the tedious business for me and I tolerate his company. I have not yet seen much of the house, but I must congratulate you on the difference you’ve made to this room, Miss Searles.’

Selina caught her breath. As soon as he spoke, all the memories came rushing back, threatening to overcome her. His smile was just the same, but the years had aged him, taking that bright youth and enthusiasm from his face. His eyes were different, shadowed, as if he had seen too much sorrow and pain—as of course he must have, for she’d heard tales of the harshness of war, though she could have no idea of what these two men had suffered. Mr Norton’s face bore a terrible scar from his left eye to his chin, and she noticed that he walked with a limp, and his left hand was covered with a glove. She guessed that it had sustained an injury that he did not wish to reveal to the world.

‘I am glad you have no objection to my changes, my lord,’ Selina said, keeping her cool smile in place. ‘My youngest sister is a great reader and loves to spend much of her time here. I realise that you may wish to make the library your own, but perhaps she may continue to borrow the books?’

The earl hesitated, then inclined his head stiffly. ‘I, too, enjoy reading. I daresay we may come to some arrangement—providing she is quiet when I’m working on estate matters.’

‘I assure you she will be as quiet as a mouse. Once she has her nose in a book, it takes a Herculean effort to get her out of it.’

‘A true reader,’ Henry Norton said with a smile. ‘I shall look forward to meeting the young lady. Now I shall leave you, Robert. I daresay you wish to be private with Miss Searles. I know you have things to discuss.’

‘You do not have to leave,’ the earl said, but his friend merely smiled at Selina and went out.

The earl stared at her in brooding silence for a moment or two, then, ‘I am sorry if my arrival has made things awkward for you, Miss Searles. I had no intention of coming down yet, but Mr Breck seems to think you have uncovered evidence of my uncle being cheated?’

‘Yes, that is so,’ Selina agreed. ‘I am sure it was the case. The agent who was almost certainly behind most of it has left, but I think there may be more serious offences than I have yet had time to uncover. I have not delved too far, because I was not certain how you would feel about a woman prying into your affairs.’

‘I would normally resent anyone prying,’ he said, with a mocking lift of his eyebrow. ‘However, in this case I can only thank you for the service you have rendered me. I shall ask you to show me the evidence another day—perhaps tomorrow morning if you are not too busy? After that you may leave the estate accounts to me.’

‘Certainly, my lord,’ Selina said, her head up as she met his hard gaze. ‘I was merely trying to save Mr Breck too many trips down here—and to pay for my accommodation.’

‘I think you may consider your rent paid,’ the earl replied, still with that faintly sardonic smile on his lips. ‘As I said, I may not have seen much of the house yet, but what I have seen is a credit to you. Trent told me that you and your own servants are responsible for most of it?’

‘I have hired two maids to clean and serve in your wing, my lord. Also a former footman asked to return when he heard you were intending to take up residence. I told him he must come to you, and I believe he intends to wait on you tomorrow. I did not wish to presume too much, my lord.’

‘For goodness’ sake, call me Moorcroft—or sir,’ the earl said a trifle impatiently. ‘Until recently I was Captain Moorcroft of the Fifth Cavalry, and to be honest, I preferred it that way.’

‘As you wish, my … sir.’ Selina felt the heat in her cheeks. Just for a moment she’d glimpsed the man who had stolen her young heart, but he had disappeared again almost at once. ‘I daresay you did not wish for the bother of an estate like this. My father always said that large houses like this were more trouble than they were worth—but of course his estate was nothing like this must once have been.’

‘My uncle was in mourning for a long time. He let everything slide, and some of the land was lost to bad debt—and perhaps malpractice, as you have already seen.’

‘Yes, I imagine it must have been that way.’ Selina lifted her eyes to his. ‘If you would care to inspect our wing later this evening, I shall be delighted to show you.’

‘I shall visit if you invite me, but it isn’t a case of inspecting. Your wing is your home until you are ready to move, Miss Searles.’

‘You are very generous.’ Selina blinked back the stupid tears that hovered behind her eyes. She might have known he would not remember her. Just as he had changed, so had she. They had both been young and eager that night, but life had taken its toll, and they were now very different people. ‘I have warned Millie she must not intrude on you. I fear she has been in the habit of going wherever she pleases. My sisters are both delighted with the house, sir. They adore the minstrels’ gallery and the priest holes.’

‘Yes, I remember seeing them for the first time as a young boy—before things changed.’ His mouth drew into a thin line. ‘I believe my uncle suffered more tragedy than any man should in losing his wife and sons to the same malady. At the time I did not understand why his house was like a mausoleum, but I have since learned what it is to lose those you love.’

‘Yes, I believe it must have been terrible at times out there during the war. We heard tales, of course, but it is difficult to imagine what went on.’

‘You should not try, Miss Searles. Believe me, you do not wish to know.’

For a moment there was such horror and grief in his eyes that she was shocked. She felt cold all over and her spine prickled. What could have happened to him to make him look like that?

‘I believe I have nothing more to say for the moment,’ he said. ‘I should like to rest. Trent has offered me refreshment—but I understand the cook is employed by you?’

‘Yes, she came with me—together with my mother’s maids and my groom. The other servants are, of course, in your employ. However, since they all work together, I believe we may share their services. You do not have a dining parlour in your wing, so perhaps you will dine with us this evening?’

‘Yes, that may be for the best. I shall have to make other arrangements after you leave or perhaps before. Excuse me now, Miss Searles. I have work to do.’

Selina felt herself dismissed. He had treated her politely, but she knew that he considered her to be just one step above a paid housekeeper—perhaps equal to a poor relation he had given a temporary home.

Fighting her chagrin, and a stupid feeling of disappointment that he had not immediately remembered her as the girl he had kissed on that magical summer evening, she left him to brood alone in the library or whatever he chose to do. She had warned her sisters they were to stay away from his wing of the house, and she must do the same—unless requested to present herself, as she had been today.

She was so stupid to care! It had been but a fleeting moment—something she ought to have forgotten long ago, as he clearly had. They had both learned to feel pain and to live with the loss of loved ones, but he had moved on with his life while she … No, she was not that foolish girl. She was Miss Searles, and if requested to walk in moonlit gardens with an officer she did not know, she would have more sense than to agree.

At least she’d been saved the embarrassment of his thinking she was presuming on their encounter that night. He’d had her story from Mr Breck and been generous enough to allow her to stay—and that was the end of it.

She must concentrate on making this a better Christmas for her sisters than the previous one, when they’d been grieving for their father and their mama had been lying prone on her bed.

This year they would have goose with all the trimmings, presents and greenery throughout their part of the house. Since the great hall was in Lord Moorcroft’s wing, they would not be able to bring in the Yule log, but she would make their wing as festive as she could.

What Lord Moorcroft chose to do was entirely his affair. Cook would provide sufficient food for all of them—he could join in or brood alone with his kind but terribly scarred friend …

CHAPTER FOUR

‘I THINK he looks like a pirate,’ Millie said, though since she’d never seen one, other than in drawings in her book of tales of the sea, she could hardly be called an expert. ‘He is very bold and handsome—and his eyes laugh at one.’

‘And where did you see Mr Norton?’ Amy challenged as she looked up from her embroidery the morning after the earl’s arrival. ‘I hope you didn’t go marching into the earl’s wing?’

‘Selina said I might continue to use the library, but I was to leave if the earl asked me to. I knocked at the door and Mr Norton was there. He invited me in and he was nice.’

‘Yes, he is nice,’ Amy agreed. ‘I think he must have been as handsome as the earl before he was so horribly wounded.’

‘I like him as he is now,’ Millie avowed. ‘He told me he intends to catalogue the library and set it to rights. I asked if I could help, because I know where a lot of the books are, and he said if I was very careful and used gloves to handle the older, more valuable books, I could. He made me promise not to take a book away without noting it in his ledger, and I promised.’

‘It sounds as if he likes you, Millie. If you’d been four years older, he might have married you. You could have lived here as his wife then.’

‘He has an estate of his own in Devon. When the earl marries, he will go home and marry himself.’

‘How do you know that?’ Amy gasped.

‘Because I heard them talking last night.’

‘What do you mean?’ Amy stared at her. ‘You didn’t go into their wing—Oh, Millie. Selina warned you not to. The earl might have been so angry.’

‘Well, I left something in the minstrels’ gallery. I had to fetch it or—or they might have thought it belonged to them, and it doesn’t.’

‘Millie …’ Amy looked at her in sudden suspicion. ‘What have you done? If you’ve stolen something of the earl’s, you must give it back at once and apologise.’

‘I haven’t stolen anything … not from the earl.’ Millie glanced guiltily over her shoulder. ‘Please do not tell Selina, but I brought the Book of Hours with me in my trunk. I know she said I shouldn’t, but Papa gave it to me—truly he did, Amy. I’m not lying.’

‘I know he told you you could have it,’ Amy said. ‘But in truth he had no right, Millie. Selina is correct when she says it belongs to the estate. If Cousin Joshua discovers it is missing, he will come here and ask Selina where it went. He is within his rights to demand that you return it. It is medieval and so precious, my love.’

‘It would be precious to me if it wasn’t worth any money,’ Millie said, but hung her head. ‘I know I shouldn’t have done it, Amy—but I did, and there’s nothing we can do now, is there?’

‘We shall have to see what happens,’ Amy said. ‘Hush, now, Selina is coming. I think she has been going over the accounts with the earl.’

‘I do hope she isn’t upset. She looked as if she might cry when she came back from seeing him last night.’

‘Well, here you are,’ Selina said as she entered the parlour. ‘I was thinking we might take a walk to the village this afternoon. I wanted to call on the vicar and ask if he and his wife would like to dine with us tomorrow. I am planning a party the week after next, and he will know who we should ask to our first dinner.’

‘A dinner party?’ Millie said. ‘It’s my birthday that week. Is it for my birthday, Selina? If so, I should like to invite Mr Norton.’

‘I expect we shall invite both the earl and Mr Norton. Lord Moorcroft intends to bring a chef from London in time for Christmas, and he is bringing down one of the large oak trestle tables from the attics. I think he will use the great hall as a dining parlour when he entertains, and his smaller parlour when he and Mr Norton wish to dine alone.’

‘Why can they not take all their meals with us?’ Millie asked. ‘I like Mr Norton and—and the earl doesn’t seem too bad if you ignore his scowls. He doesn’t always know he is scowling, you know. Mr Norton says his bark is worse than his bite.’

‘Millie!’ Selina shook her head but smiled at her sister. ‘You shouldn’t say such things, even if Mr Norton does. He has the privilege of friendship. I have offered the earl the service of Cook, should he wish to accept, but he says it is to be a temporary arrangement. However, since there is only one kitchen, the arrival of a London chef may cause some friction.’

‘I thought he meant to stay only a short time,’ Amy said with a frown. ‘That his intention was to bring an architect from London, make plans to pull the house down and have drawings made for a new one.’

‘I have not been informed of any changes in the earl’s plans,’ Selina said. ‘He did compliment me on how pleasant his wing is since I had the furniture rearranged, and he sent his regards to you, Amy. He thanks you for the flowers but says he will not trouble you in future.’

‘Oh …’ Amy sighed with disappointment. ‘I enjoyed doing them, but if he does not wish for flowers … I have plenty to do here.’

‘Exactly.’ Selina’s eyes glittered with pride. ‘The west wing is the earl’s home and this is ours. As long as we remember that, there will be no conflict of interest.’

‘Mr Norton says I can help him in the library, but I am to go away if the earl wants to work there,’ Millie said. ‘I wish he was the earl. We could all be together then, like a family.’

‘Just remember you are a guest in the earl’s house, Millie. We may think of entertaining a few friends at Christmas, but then we shall have to start packing our things ready to move again.’

‘Do we really have to?’ Millie made a face. ‘I should like to stay here for ever and ever.’

‘Well, you can’t,’ Amy told her. ‘I hate the idea of this house being pulled down, but we can’t stop it.’ She stood up. ‘I’ve decided I’m going to draw the outside of the house from various angles. I want a memory I can keep. And if you behave, I shall colour one for your birthday, Millie.’

‘Will you draw the minstrels’ gallery and the priest holes for me?’

‘I should have to do them from memory.’

‘Mr Norton would let you draw them if you asked.’

‘Yes, he might—but he would have to ask the earl for his permission,’ Selina said. ‘I think there can be no objection to your drawing the house, Amy. Even if the earl does not appreciate it, he might like to have one of your drawings to remind him of what it looked like one day.’

‘I think I shall make a start now—before nuncheon,’ Amy said. ‘Will the gentlemen be joining us in the breakfast parlour?’

‘I think the earl has asked to be served in his own parlour or the library. He has tea tables, which will do for such a meal, but no dining table—except the huge one that almost fills one end of the great hall.’

‘How silly of him to bother with all that when he could dine with us,’ Amy said. ‘Please excuse me, Selina. I must fetch my painting things.’

‘And I must …’ Selina looked about herself and felt suddenly at a loss. She had hardly had a moment to spare since they’d arrived, but the house was now in good order, and the earl had lifted the burden of the estate from her shoulders. ‘I think I shall do some embroidery until nuncheon. This afternoon I shall walk to the vicarage.’

Amy departed in search of her sketching things. Millie followed her, saying she had mislaid a book she wanted, and Selina was left to amuse herself. She picked up a piece of embroidery, put it down again, and wandered over to the window. It was too nice a day to stay indoors, and she was restless now that so much of her work had been taken over by the earl.

Her interview with the earl had gone well enough. He’d seemed impressed with her accounting and had agreed that his uncle had been systematically cheated by his agent, and perhaps by other servants who had since left his employ.

‘There is little I can do now,’ he’d said with a rueful look. ‘But I shall send a new lease to the tenant who has not paid his rent for some years, together with a bill for money owed. If he has receipts from my uncle’s agents, he must present them. I shall then have proof of theft and can prosecute.’

‘I agree you should pursue this matter,’ Selina had replied. ‘It was wicked of them to do such a thing—and unfair to the tenant if he believed he was paying rent to the earl.’

‘Unless he was in on the scam?’

‘Yes, I suppose he might have been, since he would soon have been able to claim the land.’

‘My uncle was at fault, but his grief made him ill. I think he knew he was being cheated—which was why, at the last, he asked me to help. After his last surviving son died, he had no one else to turn to.’

‘You did not expect to inherit?’

‘How could I? When I was young, he had three sons. I enjoyed staying here then, but later, after my aunt and her two younger sons died, it became a house of sorrow. My cousin John left home as soon as he could escape—only to die in an accident—and I was glad to purchase my colours and go to war. I thought it would be glorious …’

‘I fear you found it otherwise,’ Selina said, faltering as she saw the frost in his eyes. ‘You must have been reluctant to come back to a house you remembered as being dark and empty.’

‘I was extremely reluctant,’ the earl said, and frowned. ‘I did not expect so many changes, Miss Searles.’

‘Oh … forgive me. I merely wanted to make it comfortable for you, sir.’

‘As you have. I was pleasantly surprised. And the wing you are using has never looked so well. I don’t know what you’ve done. I’m sure it did not look so comfortable before.’

‘I changed the furniture, took some pretty pieces to the wing—and of course the spinet and some of the things in my parlour are Mama’s.’

‘Ah, that explains it,’ he said. ‘My own wing needs a little more of what you have, I think.’

‘You wish me to return the furniture I have borrowed?’

‘No, not at all. I have some things of my own which will make the changes I require.’

‘Oh … I thought … Someone said they were to remain in store until you rebuild …’ Selina blushed. ‘Forgive me. I am presuming too much.’

‘It was my intention to leave the crates as they are, but now I see no reason to do so. The house has a certain appeal it formerly lacked, Miss Searles. Henry tells me it would be sacrilege if I were to tear it down—though he concedes the east wing needs some modernisation.’

‘Yes, it is not in as good a condition as the rest of the house,’ Selina said. ‘However, there is nothing that someone after the style of Mr Adam or Mr Sheraton could not put right—a designer with a delicate, modern touch, but simple rather than ornate. This house does not need all the French gilding that is becoming so popular—’ Once again she broke off as the earl’s brows rose. ‘Forgive me. It is your house, not mine.’

‘Yes, I rather fancy it is,’ he replied, giving her a brooding look that made her stomach clench. ‘However, I think I agree with you. Henry forbids me to give it the Italianate touch I first thought of …’

Seeing the glint in his eye and guessing that he was provoking her, Selina refused to rise to the bait. ‘I daresay your architect will be disappointed if you change your mind about pulling the house down.’

‘I have not yet completely decided,’ he replied, the brooding look returning to his eyes.

‘No? Well, you have plenty of time. After Christmas we shall make plans to leave as soon as we can, and you will have the house to yourself.’

‘There is no particular hurry,’ he said, surprising her. ‘I understand you mean to give a small party? I may invite a few friends myself—but it cannot be a large party, for I am still in mourning for my uncle.’

‘As we are for Mama,’ Selina assured him. ‘However, she would want us to have a small dinner party, and we shall trim the house—our wing, of course—and shall give each other presents. My sisters have been grieving for too long, sir. I wish to make this as good a Christmas for them as I can; though I cannot give them expensive gifts, they shall have something nice.’

‘It is an age since Christmas was celebrated in that way in this house.’ The earl narrowed his eyes. ‘Do you think I should bring the Yule log into the great hall? You could entertain your guests there, if you wished.’

‘I think my sisters would like to see the Yule log brought in, if you will permit? However, I shall only invite six or eight guests at most. We should get lost in your great hall, my lord.’

‘Yes, I suppose so. Unless my guests were here, too.’

‘Would it not become a large party, then?’

‘Perhaps.’ He shook his head. ‘We shall discuss this again another day, Miss Searles. If you will excuse me? There is much to do.’

‘Yes, I know.’

Selina had bitten back the words she’d longed to say. She could easily have helped him cast his accounts, for she had a talent for figures that amazed most people who were unable to see how she could simply look at a column of figures and come up with the correct answer without making notes or scribbling. Several people had challenged her totals in the past, particularly when she’d corrected their mistakes, but when they checked, they had invariably been forced to concede that she was right.

‘I shall not disturb you again, sir—but you are welcome to dine with us every night until you make your own arrangements; and I know Cook will be happy to send a light lunch to you here.’

He had thanked her, and she had left him to a task she was sure he did not wish to tackle—a task which would have been a pleasure to her. More than once she had been tempted to offer her services, but he would have thought her presumptuous, and she did not wish to try his patience, for he had been generous—almost too generous.

Had Selina not been aware that he was gaining as much from the arrangement as she, her sense of pride must have made her leave at once. It was an unusual arrangement, and one that some might think not quite proper. Yet she could see no reason why they should not live in harmony, providing both respected the invisible lines between them. They were under the same roof, and yet there were two separate households—which was quite respectable. If it were not for the library, which could be entered from either wing, they might lock their doors and be entirely shut off one from the other. She wondered if the earl had considered locking the door into his wing—or whether she ought to. However, that would mean Millie would be restricted.

Surely there was no harm in them all meeting on mutual ground?

It was no good. She must find something to fill her time—and put the earl and his affairs out of her mind. She would be here for only a few more weeks, and then she would probably never see him again.

Feeling the tightness in her chest as she realised how much pain that would cause her, Selina scolded herself for being foolish. He was not the man she had kissed in those moonlit gardens. He had been young, carefree, and on the verge of a great adventure. For some reason his life had turned sour, and he had forgotten the girl he’d promised to return to and wed one day—as she ought to have forgotten him long ago.

He had never intended to keep his promise. It had been just the foolish flirting of a young man who had drunk too much, perhaps because he was a little afraid of his future despite being on a high of excitement. Selina smiled at the memory and told herself to let it go. The Earl was a very different man. He could have no interest in a girl of her age, who had little fortune and was at the moment acting as his unpaid housekeeper.

She would take a turn in the gardens. The sun was shining, and with her fur-lined cloak about her shoulders, she would not feel the cold.

‘What are you looking at?’ Henry asked as he entered the library and saw his friend standing by the long French windows. He joined him, looked out, and saw the two young women. One had set up an easel and was sketching; the other was watching her and smiling as she encouraged her efforts. ‘Yes, they do make a pretty picture, Robert. Which do you have your eye on—Miss Searles or her charming sister?’

‘Neither,’ Robert replied, and moved away from the window. ‘I leave such things to you, Nor. Either of them would make you a comfortable wife, for they are both charming in their different ways.’

‘Miss Searles seems very capable of running a house like this. You should take advantage while you have the chance, Robert. You spoke of needing a wife, and I daresay she might be grateful for the chance to be mistress here.’

There was a teasing look in Henry’s eyes, but Robert did not reply in kind. His brow furrowed as he glanced at the accounts and wondered why he had found them so unappealing once Miss Searles had left the room.

What was it about her? He felt it was important, but the pain had crowded out all his happier memories. The men who had suffered and died—the women who had been raped, beaten and murdered by rampaging soldiers, some of them English—had filled his mind. Especially Juanita, the lovely young woman he’d tried but failed to save.

‘I keep thinking I should remember Miss Searles,’ he said. ‘There is something at the back of my mind … an elusive memory. It’s stupid, I know, but I feel it’s important.’

‘You could hardly have known her before you joined the army, Robert. It is more than seven years … she would still have been in the schoolroom.’

‘How old is she, do you think?’

‘I believe she will be four and twenty next spring.’

‘No more than three and twenty?’ Robert was surprised. ‘She seems older. I would have said six and twenty at least.’

‘It is her black gowns and the way she pulls her hair back,’ Henry said. ‘Miss Millie told me that she is thirteen next week, Amy is nearly twenty, and Selina is three and twenty. I see no reason why she should lie. I find her sometimes tactless, but always truthful. She told me my face is a bit ugly, but she thinks I was handsome once and she likes me. If I like she will marry me when she is seventeen—especially if I bring her here to live.’

‘Good grief!’ Robert shouted with laughter. ‘The chit is certainly not lost for words.’

Henry smiled. ‘I find her honesty refreshing. She has no idea of causing offence or hurt, and none is taken, I assure you.’

‘You wouldn’t think of it—of marrying her in a few years’ time?’

‘Miss Millie … no,’ Henry said, but he looked self-conscious.

‘You’ve fallen for one of them. Is it Miss Searles?’ Robert narrowed his gaze. ‘No, it’s Miss Amy, isn’t it? Good Lord! You’ve only known her a day, Nor. You can’t be serious. You must be ten years her senior.’

‘Eleven, actually,’ Henry said, and smiled ruefully. ‘Ridiculous, isn’t it? One smile and that was it. I can’t believe it happened like that … out of the blue. I thought that kind of love was a myth, but it isn’t. I’m too old and too ugly for her. She was kind and made a point of looking at me without flinching, but I know she could never feel anything for me. However, I’m afraid that I’ve lost my heart. She’s the woman I want, Robert. Not that I shall allow her to see it. She is too far above me.’

‘Ridiculous! You are the best man I know—the staunchest friend, the kindest person I’ve ever met.’

‘For God’s sake,’ Henry said, revolted. ‘I can do without that rubbish, Robert. No, it is a lost cause. I know it. But I shall do all I can for her without making myself a nuisance.’

‘She might welcome an offer. You may not be the richest man in England, but you have no need to be my secretary.’

‘You would be lost without me—and I without you,’ Henry said simply. ‘Please forget I spoke. I should not have told you.’

‘Well, you must do as you think best, of course.’ Robert looked thoughtful. ‘It does happen, you know—love that strikes out of the blue. I remember once at a dance in Bath … No! It can’t be …’ He stopped and a look of pleasure came to his eyes. ‘Her name … yes, I’m certain it was Selina … but she looks so different …’

‘What are you saying?’ Henry asked, intrigued. ‘Have you remembered where you know Miss Searles from?’

‘Yes, I think I have.’ Robert grinned at him. ‘How could I have forgotten? It seems so long ago … like another lifetime. But of course I was a different man then.’

‘You actually knew her?’

‘Not exactly knew.’ Robert laughed and shook his head. ‘Do not ask, Nor, for I shall not tell you. I am only just beginning to remember—some of the details escape me. It was just before I left to join my regiment—and I was a little drunk that night. Actually, I was very drunk, but I remember this girl … she was so beautiful, like an angel …’

‘You are talking of Miss Searles? She is beautiful, of course, or she might be if she dressed differently—but an angel? That implies innocence?’

‘She must have been all of sixteen at the time. Too young to have been out, of course. I cannot imagine what her mama was about, taking her to a ball at that age.’

‘No doubt she kept a watchful eye on her?’

‘Perhaps. I cannot recall much of what happened, but …’ Robert smiled oddly. ‘No, do not question me with your eyes. I shall not reveal a lady’s indiscretion or my own. Good grief! Do you think she remembers?’

‘Perhaps. It depends on what you did or said that night, Robert—does she have cause to remember?’

‘To be honest, I can’t remember what I said to her, but I think I danced with her and then …’ He shook his head. ‘She must have forgotten. We only met once. Besides, I have changed so much—as has she.’ He frowned. ‘I wonder why she hasn’t married.’

‘I daresay she did not have the chance. Millie has told me their sad history. Her papa gambled their money away, and there was none for Selina or Amy to have a season, and then, when he was desperate, he killed himself. That sent their mother—who was always delicate—into a decline. The will allowed them to live in the house until she died, but then … Well, you know the rest.’

‘You’ve certainly been busy!’

‘Millie is very forthcoming—particularly when one talks to her as an equal. I think her sisters tend to treat her as a child, which she assures me she isn’t. I think I agree with her. Like Miss Searles, she has had grief and responsibility thrust upon her, and she has grown up faster than her years—which is sad, in a way.’

‘Yes, for all of them.’

‘Miss Amy seems the least affected. She does not show it in her manner—she has a joy in life that is hard to resist.’

‘You are smitten,’ Robert said dryly. ‘You should definitely propose, my dear Nor.’

‘We shall see how things progress. I would marry her rather than see harm come to any of them.’

‘How gallant,’ Robert drawled. ‘You were ever the gentleman. I fear I am a careless devil and shall not lose my heart so easily.’

‘What of the angel you met so briefly?’ Henry raised his brows.

‘She no longer exists. Somewhere along the way, she died, as did the dashing captain of her dreams. If she ever dreamed of me. I daresay she thought me an uncouth drunk who made free with her person … and breathe a word of that to another person and I’ll wring your neck.’

‘As if I would,’ Henry said, and smiled. ‘You know, Robert, I had wondered if you were lost to us for good—but I think there may just be a chance for you yet.’

‘Forget any foolish idea of romance, Nor. You may have fallen in love with Amy, but my heart is untouched. It died one hot Spanish night, and I do not think I can feel love—or any other decent emotion except guilt and regret.’

Robert stared at himself in the mirror as he dressed for dinner that evening. He had decided to take Miss Searles up on her invitation, for it seemed foolish to make the staff serve two separate meals when they might all dine together. And if he was a little curious to discover whether or not anything remained of the young woman he seemed to remember kissing in a moonlit garden, he would not admit it—to Nor or to himself.

No, it was simply a matter of practicality. Until his chef arrived, it would just make more work for her cook. Besides, he did not fancy dining alone with Henry in the great hall. They could, of course, eat in the library, but it would still make extra work.

Tying his cravat in a style that had taken him some years to perfect, he brushed an imaginary speck of dust from his coat and prepared to leave. His memory of that night in Bath was distinctly hazy. He thought he’d kissed her, but he could not recall what he’d said or what she’d replied. He had a feeling he’d gone a little too far and she’d broken away from him, but his memory would not function properly, and he did not know what had happened after the kiss.

Did Miss Searles remember him? Had she even known his name? He must surely have introduced himself. But she would have forgotten the small incident long ago, wouldn’t she? It could not have meant anything to her—the clumsy attentions of a drunken officer. If she did remember, she could feel nothing but animosity towards him.

Was that why she dragged her hair back and made herself look older? Was she afraid that he might try to take advantage of her again?

Robert felt the heat spread over his entire body. It was embarrassing. He had been a foolish youth, carried away on a tide of excitement and fear. Even while he’d longed for adventure, he’d known full well that he might be killed.

Yet he’d come through the wars almost unscathed, apart from a few small wounds that had healed easily. No, his scars were mental. He would never forget Juanita’s broken body, or the way she had wept in his arms before she died as the result of the cruelty of a pack of drunken dogs. They had thought her one of the enemy and had raped her brutally, inflicting wounds on her body and her mind—wounds that she could never have recovered from.

His own men. Men he’d nurtured, cherished and wept for had behaved like animals. He’d been forced to punish them—to hang the ringleader, a man he’d truly liked until that moment. It had been unlike Harris to behave so ill, for he had been generally a good man and caring of his soldiers, but in the heat of bloodlust, he’d gone berserk and committed the foulest of crimes. The look in his eyes as Robert had condemned him to hang had been like a dagger thrust in his heart.

It was not that he’d loved Juanita, but she’d helped him to nurse Henry through his sickness and had not deserved such a cruel death.

How could he ever forget the things he’d seen and done out there? It was impossible. He was dead inside.

If he married it must be for the getting of an heir—to a sensible older woman who understood what such a marriage would be about. Was Miss Searles such a woman? Robert wasn’t sure. The girl he’d kissed on a moonlit night was someone different—a dream of love that had vanished under the punishing heat of Spanish skies. Robert hardly knew her. Henry seemed to have broken all barriers and was already treated as one of their family, but he … he was the earl, and they were guests in his house.

He sighed as the elusive memory disappeared like mist. Perhaps if he found it hard to remember then she did, too. He hoped so, for otherwise … Good grief! Had he made her any promises that night? His thoughts whirled in confusion, then he dismissed them. She’d surely known he was drunk. She was far too sensible to have believed anything he’d said that night.

No, he doubted she even recalled the incident. She would have given some sign. Besides, she must have had other suitors. He could not imagine why she had not married. Even if she had little dowry, there must have been someone … Mr Breck had told him her cousin wished to marry her, but she’d taken this house on rather than accept. Clearly she was not desperate to marry or she would have accepted the offer.

Frowning, he left his bedchamber and walked slowly down the stairs, through the library. Even before he reached the dining room, he could hear laughter. Henry sounded so relaxed and happy. He hadn’t heard him talking so animatedly for years.

Smiling, he walked into the room—and then caught his breath as the woman in yellow silk, trimmed with an overskirt of black lace and similar frills to her neckline, turned to look at him and memory came rushing back into his mind. She had been wearing yellow that night, too, and her hair had been dressed in becoming ringlets. The colour suited her, and if she were to soften her hairstyle a little, she would still be beautiful.

Robert felt the ice round his heart crack a little. Surely he had called her an angel … and he’d done other things, too—things that made the heat rush through his body once more.

How could he have forgotten? For one glorious hour, he had fallen madly in love. He’d always intended to contact her, to tell her that he’d meant every word, but caught up in the excitement of his first campaign, he had forgotten—and then it had all turned sour …

CHAPTER FIVE

WHY was the earl frowning at her in such disapproval? Selina’s heart caught. Did he think she had put off her blacks too soon? Was he shocked that she and her sisters were all wearing colours this evening? Amy had chosen lilac trimmed with grey lace, Millie a dark blue trimmed with satin ribbons of a matching shade.

‘Miss Searles. You look remarkably well this evening.’

‘Mama told us before she died that we were not to wear black for her longer than a month,’ Selina said a trifle defensively. ‘We shall continue to wear grey during the day until Christmas, but we promised that a month after her death we would wear colours in the evenings.’

‘You have no need to explain yourself to me, Miss Searles,’ he replied a trifle stiffly. ‘I confess I was a little surprised to see the change, but I find it pleasant.’

‘We talked it over and decided that we would follow Mama’s wishes,’ Selina said. ‘However, when we drive out we shall continue to wear mourning so that we do not shock our neighbours. I was intending to ask you this evening if we might have the use of your uncle’s carriage and horses tomorrow, should you have no use for them. My groom will take us, as we should like to drive into the nearest town to purchase some materials and things we need to ensure that Christmas is a success.’

‘Of course you may have the carriage whenever you please. The horses are in need of some exercise, and I should take my own curricle if I wished to go visiting—which I have no intention of doing for the moment.’

‘Thank you. You are very kind. I do not wish to presume on your good nature more than necessary, sir. I am sure there must be moments when you have wished us all to the devil.’

‘There you would be wrong,’ he replied, and smiled. ‘You and your sisters have brought this house to life, Miss Searles. It will be a pleasure having you all here until after Christmas. I have not yet decided whether I shall take up residence here, but there is plenty of time for me to make up my mind next spring.’

‘Your gardens will be so beautiful in the spring, sir,’ Millie chimed in, without being asked. ‘It would be a shame to destroy something as beautiful as this house. Do you not think of all the history that has gone on here—of the people who have lived and laughed here?’

‘Millie!’ Selina and Amy spoke together in unison.

‘You really must not speak your mind so freely,’ Selina continued, her cheeks hot as she threw a look of apology at the earl. ‘You have no idea of what you are saying.’

‘Miss Millie meant no offence,’ Henry said. ‘Robert knows that, Miss Searles.’

‘Of course.’ The Earl inclined his head to them, though the look in his eyes was distinctly chilly. ‘It is precisely because I think of the people who lived and died here and their unhappiness that I have thought of pulling the house down and building again.’

‘But surely dying is part of life?’ Millie said impulsively. ‘I did not mean just your uncle, sir—and I beg your pardon if I have distressed you. There must have been many generations of your family, and they cannot all have been unhappy. Your uncle must have been happy here once? Mama was unhappy towards the end, but she told us to remember the good times—and that is what we do.’

‘That is enough,’ Selina said sternly. ‘If you cannot behave you may go to your room, Millie. I shall not tell you to curb your tongue again. We are guests here, and you will remember that, if you please.’

Millie’s cheeks went bright red, and she looked as if she might burst into tears in the ensuing silence.

‘No, do not scold her,’ the earl said after a moment. ‘She is quite right, and I have been a fool to dwell on my uncle’s unhappiness. What happened to him was unfortunate, but there was a time when this was a happy house.’

‘And shall be again,’ Henry said. ‘Ah, I think that is the dinner gong. Shall we take our places at table? Miss Millie, will you honour me by sitting beside me, please? I should like to talk to you about our self-appointed task in the library.’

‘And what is that, pray?’ the earl asked as Millie went silently to her allotted place. ‘If Nor has embroiled you in one of his schemes, Miss Millie, you must not let him become a slave driver—for I promise you he will if given a free hand.’

‘Some chance I have of keeping you to your desk if you choose to go riding or visiting instead,’ Henry said, and gave him an approving nod. He smiled at Selina, as if reassuring her. ‘Millie discovered that I was embarking on the reorganisation of the library, and she nobly offered to assist me.’

‘She will be in her heaven,’ Amy said, and smiled at him. ‘It was kind of you to let her help, sir, because she lives for books. Papa indulged her, but Mama was afraid she might ruin her eyes.’

‘Oh, I do not think a love of books ever hurt anyone,’ Henry said. ‘If you need an escort into Long Melford, I should be glad to accompany you tomorrow. I think you will find it is the nearest town, and it has several shops that you will find of interest—though if you cannot find what you need, I should be glad to send to London for you.’

‘How kind you are,’ Selina said, recovering her tongue. ‘I think our needs are fairly simple, and most haberdashers will be able to supply us with silks and ribbons and some lace. We already have the cloth we require. A good general merchant should supply the other goods we need—almonds, essence and sugar to make marchpane, dates, nuts and preserves, of course. Cook has already started on her cake, and her puddings were made before we left home. We have been using preserves we brought with us, but must now replace them.’

‘You must send your accounts to me,’ the earl said. ‘If we are to share our Christmas celebrations and other meals, I insist on paying for the supplies we need.’

‘I should not dream …’ Selina met his gaze and blushed. ‘We shall provide the things I have named, sir—perhaps you would care to see to the beef, capons, ham—even a goose or even two?’

‘Our farms will supply everything of that nature, of course. If that is your wish. And you must leave the wines to me. I imagine our guests would enjoy my uncle’s champagne and brandy. And I have some very good Italian wine on its way, which I think we shall all enjoy.’

‘That sounds perfectly acceptable,’ Selina said, and smiled, her feeling of embarrassment fading. ‘The vicar is dining with us soon, and we are to have a small family party the week after next. I hope you will join us for each occasion, both of you. It is Millie’s birthday. She will be thirteen, going on thirty-five, and I have not yet decided what she deserves as a gift.’

‘I should like a book,’ Millie said promptly. ‘If you really want to know. There was a Bestiary I liked in Papa’s library, but that would be too expensive, Selina, so I do not mind what you give me.’

‘Well, you will just have to wait and see, miss,’ Selina said, and sent her sister a forgiving smile.

Looking round at the group about the table, she breathed a sigh of relief. Millie’s outspokenness had caused some embarrassment, but the earl seemed to have recovered his equilibrium and had actually gone out of his way to make her sister feel less uncomfortable. As for Mr Norton, he was kindness itself—and if the way he looked at Amy was an indication of his feelings, he already cared for her.

Selina noticed that the two of them were talking animatedly. Millie was butting in now and then, but not as often as she normally did. She glanced at the earl and saw that he was looking at her in an oddly thoughtful way. A little tingle started at the nape of her neck as she saw his expression. What was he thinking? Was it possible that he had remembered her? Surely not! That kiss must have been just a small, unimportant incident to him—as indeed it ought to have been to her.

Had she been given the season her mama had intended, she would almost certainly have married. Had there been no loss of Papa’s fortune and no suicide, she would not have spent so much time at home, caring for her delicate mama and her sisters. The romantic image she’d had of that moonlit garden should have faded. She should have fallen in love again …

She gave herself a mental shake. Had she fallen in love with Robert Moorcroft that night? Yes, of course she had. Selina had never truly understood what her feelings were—it was just an enchanted moment in her young life. That was it, of course. She had been so young—sixteen, innocent and impressionable—and Captain Moorcroft had been so handsome and bold, several years older. His kiss had inflamed her passions and captured her heart.

He was still a handsome man, but that boldness—that devil-may-care manner that had caused her to lose her senses in a madcap moment of sensual pleasure—had disappeared. Earl Banford was a different man—just as she was a different woman.

Selina was not sure whether or not she truly liked the man he had become. Surely there could be nothing left of anything either of them had felt that night? He had been drunk, and she’d been swept away on a magic carpet of enchantment. Selina was no longer that young girl. She had been foolish to allow herself even to think of that ridiculous incident—for that was all it had been, of course. Just a girl’s dream of romance, and it should be shut away like her other dreams.

When Papa had died and left them almost penniless, and Mama had become so ill, requiring Selina’s constant attention, she had put away her dreams of love and marriage. She knew now that even if she stretched her slender funds to the limit, they could barely afford for Amy to have a season, even if one of Mama’s old friends would act as her chaperone. Selina must keep her thoughts firmly fixed on the future and the position she must seek once her younger sister had found someone she could love. Amy must be given every chance. She would not be allowed to throw herself away on the first man who offered, because with her vivacity and her looks, she might aim higher than a mere baronet. Perhaps even a marquis … or an earl?

Glancing at the earl, she found his eyes disconcertingly still on her, even though her sister was laughing and making Millie and Mr Norton laugh too. No, she could not convince herself that Moorcroft, as he would have her call him, was showing any interest in Amy. Rather he was staring down the table at her, an almost pensive expression in his eyes. She could not tell if he were annoyed, bored, or merely lost in his own thoughts.

He had eaten his soup and his meat, but as the puddings were carried in, he pushed back his chair, rising to his feet and saying, ‘No, Henry, stay and finish your meal with the ladies. I have something I wish to attend to—if you will excuse me?’

With that he was gone. His leaving caused silence to fall once more—a silence that made Henry feel it necessary to apologise for.

‘It happens sometimes,’ he said. ‘You must forgive Robert, Miss Searles. At times he feels that he cannot bear to see others happy. I daresay he was remembering … something that happened when we were in Spain. It haunts him still. You must not be distressed, for he did not mean to be rude.’

‘There is no need to apologise, sir,’ Selina said, and smiled. ‘I daresay we can be rather noisy at times.’

‘Would you consider calling me Henry when we are together like this?’ he asked. ‘I feel myself family already, and I wish to be of service to you in whatever way I can.’

‘Thank you, Henry,’ Selina said, and smiled again. ‘I think I should like some pudding. After all, we should not let all Cook’s work go to waste, should we?’

Alone in a garden sadly without the benefit of a summer moon and distinctly chilly, Robert wondered what had made him leave the company so abruptly. He had been in the habit of taking solitary walks at night in Italy, where it was very much warmer, and had come out without his greatcoat. If he were not much mistaken, winter had taken a turn for the worse and they would soon have snow.

Watching Miss Searles with her family, he’d suddenly felt like an outsider, shut out from the warmth and the intimacy of the group. Henry was obviously accepted by them as family, and he had taken on the role with evident pleasure. Always honest, he’d already admitted to Robert that his feelings were engaged, and that should Miss Amy show any preference for his company, he would offer for her, even if his chance of her accepting was slim.

She would be a fool to turn him down; although, given her chance to shine in society, the beautiful Amy Searles would undoubtedly become the rage—just as her sister had that night in Bath. The pity of it was that because of their straitened circumstances, she would probably never get her moment of glory—which was a shame for her and her family. However, should Nor propose and be refused, Robert’s sympathy might be transferred to his friend. Henry’s scars were not something that could be hidden away or forgotten; he must live with them for the rest of his life. Robert could sometimes forget his pain—at least for a while.

He had forgotten for a short time at dinner. Watching, rather than participating in the lively banter, he had felt happy for a while—and then something had brought the memory to mind, and he’d felt guilty that he was alive and enjoying himself. How could he be happy when Juanita lay in her grave—murdered by his men? Men he ought to have taught to behave in a civilised manner even under the heat of battle. All that beauty and passion gone for ever, only her pain a living memory that haunted him day and night. And he was to blame, because he had not controlled his men.

After so many years the pain should have dulled. Indeed, he hadn’t been aware of it for most of the day, with his thoughts preoccupied with the house, the estate—and the intriguing family who had settled in his home. They were like cuckoos in a blackbird’s nest, and if he’d had any sense, he would have found an empty house on the estate or in the village and moved them there before he arrived.

It was too late now to make them move before Christmas. Henry was enjoying life for the first time in years, and he—he had no need to be sucked into their enchanted circle. Good grief, the house was large enough. If he chose he could shut himself away in his wing and never see them …

The trouble was that he was like a moth being drawn to the flame. He wanted the warmth of their charm and beauty. His lonely soul was craving something he had lost so long ago. But his instinct told him that if he drew near, he would singe his wings.

He could never put himself at risk of such pain again. For a moment he could hear Juanita’s screams, and he put his hands to his ears, trying to block out the sound. But it was inside his head and could never be shut out.

When he was restless like this, he needed exercise. It was bitterly cold, and he was not dressed for it, but he needed to run and run hard. The only way to shut out this tearing agony was to exhaust himself physically, so that when he returned to the house he would fall asleep and achieve that peace he longed for so desperately.

Selina stood at the window at the top of the hall and looked out. Trent had told her that the earl had gone into the garden without his greatcoat and had still not returned by the time the others parted and sought their beds.

‘It’s bitter out, miss,’ the elderly butler had said. ‘I fear for him on a night like this—his family had weak chests. If he were to take a chill …’

Selina understood his fear of losing the last of the line. If the earl died, the estate must pass to the Crown, and it would probably stand empty for years until every effort had been made to discover a distant relative. If none were found, it would eventually be sold, and by then it would have decayed to the stage where it would almost certainly be pulled down.

‘I should not worry too much, Trent,’ she’d said kindly. ‘The Earl survived the war and must, I think, be stronger than his cousins were.’

‘I hope so, miss—but it isn’t wise. It isn’t wise at all.’

Selina could not disagree. She had gone to her room but, finding it impossible to rest, had donned a warm wool robe and taken up a position at this window, which looked out over the front of the house, watching for Moorcroft’s return.

It was almost one o’clock in the morning when he finally returned. She saw him walking towards the house. He paused for a moment and looked up, almost as if he sensed he was being watched. Then she saw someone go out to him. It was Henry Norton. He took hold of the earl’s arm and half pushed him inside. She could hear nothing, but she sensed that Nor was using the privilege of old friends to scold Moorcroft.

A feeling of relief crept over her as she realised that Henry must have done this many times before. He would know how to care for his friend—because they were friends, rather than employer and secretary. Henry Norton did not work because he needed to, or to amuse himself, but because he could not leave his friend. They had both been terribly scarred but in different ways.

Selina’s throat caught, and for some nonsensical reason, she found that her cheeks were wet with tears. She brushed them away. How foolish! She had hardly cried when Papa died, though she’d sobbed for Mama—to cry for a man she scarcely knew was beyond foolish. He would not want her tears.

Turning away, she went back to her room and threw her robe over a chair. She was glad to snuggle down into her bed, and after a few minutes of rather serious reflection settled down to sleep.

‘You damned fool,’ Henry said in a severe tone. ‘This isn’t Italy, and it’s cold enough for snow. What the hell did you think you were doing?’

‘To be honest, I didn’t think,’ Robert replied, and gave him a rueful smile. ‘I am sorry to keep you from your bed, Nor. You really must stop watching over me as if I was your child.’

‘When you start behaving like an adult, I’ll go to bed and leave you to yourself,’ Henry said. ‘Now, drink this hot toddy and no arguments. I don’t want you going down with a chill.’

‘I never have chills,’ Robert said. ‘I’m as strong as an ox. Give it here and I’ll drink it—but you must go to bed. And, Nor …’

Henry turned as he reached the door.

‘Thank you. I’m a fool and I’d be dead without you.’

‘Rubbish,’ Henry said. ‘You are a fool, but you would survive.’ He hesitated, then, ‘Let it all go, Robert. I know what happened, I know you feel responsible, but you were not to blame. Those men lost their heads in the heat of their bloodlust; they weren’t the first and they will not be the last. It is a beast that lives in some men, and you could not have known.’

‘Yes, you are right.’ Robert shivered. He was still cold all the way through, even though he was sitting by a roaring fire wrapped in blankets. ‘I’m trying. Believe me, I don’t want this nightmare to continue.’

‘I was hiding in Italy just as you were, Robert. I’ve decided it’s time I started to live again—and so should you.’

‘I’m glad for you. I really am. You deserve to be happy.’

‘I’m not sure I shall be happy. I have no right to ask her, Robert, and unless I can be sure I could make her happy, I shan’t—but whatever happens I’m not going to hide away. I am who I am—scars and all. People may love me or hate me, but I’m not going to apologise for how I look.’

‘No need, Nor,’ Robert said, and sneezed. ‘Miss Millie told you she thought you were quite ugly but she still likes you.’ He laughed mockingly. ‘If one sister won’t have you, you may wait for the other to grow up.’

‘Go to bed, Robert,’ Henry said with a sigh. ‘Or I may very well strangle you.’

‘Aye, aye, Captain,’ Robert said, and sneezed again. ‘Get out of here before I infect you.’

Henry went. His expression was thoughtful as he sought his own room. Coming here might be the best thing that had happened to them both—or the worst.

‘Miss Searles …’ Henry Norton looked at her apologetically as he entered the breakfast parlour the next morning. ‘Forgive me. I promised to escort you and your sisters into Long Melford this morning, but I fear I must cry off.’

‘Oh …’ Selina’s heart caught as she looked at his face. ‘Is something the matter, Henry?’

‘I fear Robert took a chill last night,’ he said. ‘I waited up for him and he was frozen to the bone. As you must have seen this morning, the ground was hard with frost, even though there was no actual snow.’

‘A chill?’ Selina clasped her hands at her sides because she feared they might tremble and betray her. ‘Is he very ill?’

‘He is sneezing and he has a cough. I have forbidden him to get up, and I made him drink a hot toddy last night, but I think he is feeling rather unwell.’

‘Yes, I should imagine he might.’ Selina hesitated. ‘I could make him a tisane to ease him before we go?’

‘If your cook or your maid would do that, it would surely suffice,’ Henry said. ‘I see no reason why you should put off your day of pleasure, Miss Searles.’

‘If I am to call you Henry, you must call me Selina,’ she said. ‘I know Millie is looking forward to the trip, and I wish to buy her birthday gift, so I think we shall go. I am sure Moorcroft will do well enough in your hands. You have nursed him through worse, perhaps?’

‘Actually, it was the other way around,’ Henry said, and smiled oddly. ‘I almost died on the field of battle, Miss Selina—and should have done so afterwards had it not been for Robert’s devotion. He pulled me through by sheer force of will and because he would not leave my side. Juanita nursed me some of the time, but it was Robert’s determination that I should not die that made me cling to life when it seemed there was no point.’ His smile disappeared. ‘It was later that Robert … when she died in terrible pain and he held her to the last …’

‘Juanita? What happened to her? Is that why he looks so tortured at times?’

Was she the woman Robert Moorcroft had loved? The thought stabbed Selina to the heart.

‘He cannot forget her. He feels responsible for her death. She was very beautiful, and a creature of fire and passion.’ He shook his head. ‘We are a sorry pair, Selina—but there is a bond between us. I should hate to lose him to a chill.’

‘Yes, I am sure you would. I will ask my maid to make a tisane. She made them for all of us when we were ill—but if he is no better soon, you should send for the doctor.’

‘He refuses to have one—calls them quacks. They killed as many as they saved out there, you see. So many of our comrades died of fever and gangrene. Most prayed they would die on the field rather than suffer the ministrations of the butchers—as we called the surgeons.’

‘Please watch over him, and if need be, ignore his wishes for once,’ Selina said. ‘I shall speak to my maid—and I will speak to you again when we return.’

Selina did her best to put her concerns for the earl out of her mind as they set out for town a short time later. It was such a treat for her sisters to visit the shops, and she had put by some guineas for the occasion, giving them both a share to spend as they pleased, while keeping the larger part to purchase the things they needed for Christmas.

The shops in Long Melford were more than adequate for their needs, and by the time they had partaken of light refreshments at the Bull Inn, which was said to be haunted, they had already completed most of their shopping and were laden with parcels. Betty and their groom then took charge of their parcels to allow them to complete their shopping, and it was past three in the afternoon when they started back for Moorcroft Hall. The light was fading. By the time they arrived, it was dark.

Lights had been lit in several of the front windows and the lanterns outside the porch were blazing. A trap drawn by one restless horse stood outside the house, and was being walked up and down by a groom Selina had not previously seen.

She went up to him, her heart racing as the pleasure of the day was forgotten in her anxiety. ‘Has the doctor been sent for?’ she asked.

‘Yes, ma’am,’ the groom replied. ‘I’m the doctor’s man—he’s with the earl now.’

Even as he spoke, the door opened and she saw Trent standing there in the porch. The doctor was taking his leave as Millie and Amy gathered their parcels and walked towards the butler.

‘Is something wrong?’ Amy asked. ‘Is the earl worse?’

‘He is sick with a fever, miss,’ the doctor replied. ‘I have given him some of a mixture that may help but he was very hot. I fear the worst—this is a family prone to succumbing to such illnesses. I should have been called earlier.’

‘Is it true, Trent?’ Selina asked, following her sisters in, her arms filled with parcels. ‘Is the earl very ill?’

‘He is in a fever, miss.’ The butler could not hide his anxiety. ‘Two of his cousins were took this way … I never thought it could happen again.’

Selina caught her breath. ‘No, it must not be allowed to happen. Moorcroft is a strong man. He cannot be allowed to die of a fever.’

She hurried inside and dumped her parcels on a nearby sofa, then walked down the hall, through the library and into the earl’s wing. She was uncertain of where the earl’s bedchamber was situated, but as she started to climb the stairs, she saw Henry leave one of the rooms. He walked towards her, carrying a tray on which was a bowl of soup, cold and congealed, and a glass containing what had probably been a hot toddy.

‘Miss Selina,’ he said, sounding grateful to see her. ‘I am glad you’re home. He’s burning up and he won’t be sensible. He refuses everything I try to give him and says he wants to be left alone.’

‘I remember Papa was the same when he was very ill of a fever once,’ Selina said. ‘Has he had any of the mixture the doctor left?’

‘A few drops, but he spat most of it out. He hardly seems to know me … I think he is out of his mind with this fever. I’ve never known him this bad.’

‘He was so foolish last night,’ Selina said. ‘Let me see him, please, Henry. I nursed my mother for many months, through fevers and chills and other sickness. I have some little skill, and I shall be pleased to do what I can for him. I refuse to allow him to die just because his cousins had weak constitutions.’

‘Robert has borne so much. I fear he has given up and wants to die.’

‘Well, he shall not do so,’ Selina declared, setting her mouth in a hard line. ‘My sisters have seen enough sorrow these past months and years. I refuse to let Moorcroft spoil their Christmas. He is going to get better if I have to—’ She laughed as she saw the surprise in Henry’s face. ‘Well, I do not know what I shall do, but I am determined that he is not going to die.’

‘Thank you …’ Henry looked overcome. ‘I must confess that with all the gloomy faces from the staff and the doctor, I had almost lost hope.’

‘Well, I shall not,’ Selina said. ‘You care for him, and I will not have him ruin Christmas. Together we shall pull him through this fever. Now, take me to him so I can see for myself how ill he is.’

‘Are you sure it is quite proper, Miss Selina?’

‘I do not give a penny piece whether it is proper or not,’ Selina replied, with such fervour that Henry laughed.

‘Good for you,’ he said. ‘I feel much better already.’

Selina moved towards the room he had just vacated. She hesitated one second, then opened the door and went in, her heart jumping. A huge fire was burning in the grate and the bed was piled with blankets, which the earl had tossed back. He was moaning, and as she approached the bed, he screamed out and sat up in bed, staring at her with wild eyes.

‘It’s a bloodbath!’ he cried. ‘We’ll all be killed. Save the wounded … take them back through the lines …’

‘Now, you can just stop all that nonsense,’ Selina said firmly, and placed a hand on his brow. He was burning up and it was no wonder. She tossed back all of the blankets save for one light one, saying over her shoulder to Henry, ‘It’s too hot in here. See if you can pull one of the logs from the fire, please—and open the window for a few minutes to let in some fresh air.’

‘The doctor said we must keep him warm.’

‘There is a difference between warm and boiling hot,’ Selina said in a calm, practical tone. ‘I have found with fevers that it is best to keep the patient cool. However, someone must sit with him at all times, because he must not be allowed to turn icy cold. It may mean taking blankets off and sponging him with cool water—and then, later, he may need to be covered over again. I shall do what I can for him now. I suggest you leave us. Take time to eat and rest, Henry. We shall share the nursing between us—and Jane will make us a jug of her tisane, which is nicer on the tongue and of as much help as the doctor’s medicine, I think.’

‘Your mama’s maid’s tisane? Yes, he swallowed that earlier and seemed better for at least half an hour. Then the fever returned and seemed more intense.’

‘I daresay the fever will wane and then return several times,’ Selina replied, while fetching cool water from the washstand. ‘They always seem to be so much worse at night, I find. Please go and take some rest for yourself. I have eaten, and I will have a cold supper later.’

‘Thank you. I am most grateful for your help—and Robert will be too when he recovers … if …’

Selina turned and saw that Henry was in great distress. ‘Oh, you poor man. You care for him so much, do you not?’

‘He is my brother and my saviour and my friend.’

‘As you are his, I imagine,’ Selina said, and nodded. ‘I cannot tell you that he is not very ill, for he is—but I have seen fevers like this before, and they are not always fatal. If one is devoted in one’s nursing, the outcome can be a complete recovery.’

‘What should we have done had you not been here?’ Henry smiled at her and went out, leaving her to continue her work alone.

When the door had closed behind him, Selina pulled the bedcovers right back. The Earl was completely naked, and for a moment she felt heat suffuse her cheeks, but she placed a cloth over his private parts and began her task. Another cloth was dipped in cool water and wrung out. She began to bathe his chest, arms, shoulders and his long legs, not forgetting his rather beautiful feet. Her papa’s feet had not been so perfectly shaped, but then every part of this man’s body was glorious—and she should not be thinking such naughty things when the poor darling was so ill.

Selina had been the one to nurse her father when he was ill, just before that last fatal trip to London. She’d sometimes thought that if she had not nursed him so devotedly, he might not have gone off to the card tables and ruined them, but that was a wicked thought and she banished it firmly. Her mother had mentioned the possibility more than once.

‘If he’d died of his fever, Selina, you and the girls would have been so much better off. I have so little to leave you.’

‘Hush, Mama, you do not mean it,’ Selina had soothed her. Of course Mama had not meant it, but the fact remained that Papa’s reckless last fling had ruined their lives.

‘Juanita …’

A sobbing cry from Moorcroft’s lips brought Selina’s thoughts back to the moment. She had finished her bathing and drying and covered him with a sheet and a thin blanket. She placed a hand on his forehead. He was thankfully a little cooler.

‘Please … do not die … I cannot bear it … I don’t want to punish you but I have to … Forgive me …’

‘Hush, dearest one,’ Selina said, and bent over him. She hesitated, then bent to brush her lips over his cheek. ‘I am here. I do not know what troubles you, but you must rest. You are safe now. I shall not let you die. I promise you will be better soon.’

She felt him relax under her soothing hand. His hands unclenched and he lay back with a sigh.

‘That’s it, my brave hero,’ she said, and kissed his lips lightly. ‘You’ve suffered so much, but I shan’t let you die. You must live—think of my poor sisters. If you were selfish enough to die, they would be so miserable—and poor Henry would be heartbroken. Surely you cannot be so selfish as to inflict such pain on us at Christmas?’

‘Mama …’ Robert murmured, and a smile touched his mouth. ‘Do not scold me, Mama. I did not mean to let the boar in with the sows …’

Selina smiled as she realised that her scolding tone had taken him back to his childhood. That was good, for it meant he dwelt in a time before he had known so much suffering and pain.

‘Well, I shall scold you, you foolish man,’ she said. ‘If you do not take your medicine and get better soon, you will find me a hard taskmaster.’

‘I’ll be good, Mama,’ he said, and she saw that he had drifted into a peaceful sleep.

‘You must not worry too much, Henry,’ Amy said as they ate a rather solemn supper in the smaller dining parlour. ‘Selina is the best nurse you could find. The doctor said that Mama would have died years before she did had my sister not cared for her so lovingly.’

‘Yes, I could see she was quite capable,’ Henry said, and a slightly wicked smile lit his eyes. ‘Robert has been ill many times, Miss Amy. He is actually very strong—but difficult as a patient. I’ve sometimes had to use force to get him to swallow his medicine.’

‘I thought you told Selina …’ Amy stopped and stared at him, understanding dawning in her eyes. ‘You pretended he was worse than he is—didn’t you?’

‘No such thing. When I spoke to her, I was truly concerned, but she has already worked her magic,’ Henry said.

‘I think she enjoys looking after him. It might be the very thing for them both.’

‘ Now what are you thinking, Miss Amy?’

‘Only that they are both lonely people—would you not say so?’

‘Robert needs to be loved and brought back from the shadows,’ Henry said, and looked thoughtful. ‘They have haunted him for too long. I do not have the right to tell you the whole story, Amy—but he has suffered as no man should.’

‘Yes, you can see it in his eyes sometimes,’ Amy agreed. She paused, then, ‘I think you have also suffered, sir.’

‘I almost died on the field of battle, and after in the surgeon’s tent. Robert saved my life, and my scars have ceased to cause me pain. I have accepted that I am ugly, and I can live with it. I have discovered that it means little to true friends.’

‘No—how could it?’ Amy said, and smiled at him in a most beguiling manner. ‘All it means is that you are a very brave man, sir. I think I should not like to go to war and see the things you and the earl have seen.’

‘I thank God for it that you have not,’ Henry replied, looking grim. ‘War is no place for ladies, Amy. Even those who have the courage to follow the drum run terrible risks—and if they die, their deaths are more terrible to bear than all the rest. The cruelty of some men shames us all—and Robert more than most, since he was their captain.’

‘Is that what happened to the earl?’ Amy shook her head. ‘No, do not tell me. I am not a complete innocent, Henry. I can imagine the things that might happen to a woman who finds herself caught up in war. I think people do terrible things when they are seized by bloodlust.’

‘And what do you know of such things?’ His eyes had begun to sparkle again. ‘Don’t tell me—Millie read a book about the Vikings and their berserker madness, did she not?’

‘Yes, of course. My sister and I are both very interested in history, which is why we were excited to come here to live. The books Millie reads are far beyond her years, and not at all suitable for a very young lady. You would think she would have nightmares, but not a bit of it. She adores reading about the most awful things, and she is wonderful at telling ghost stories at Christmas. If the earl is better, we may be in for a treat, because I’m certain she will be inspired by the Yule log.’

‘Your sister is wise beyond her years—indeed, you are a remarkable family. Each one of you is unique and quite outstanding.’

‘Selina could have devoted her life to the sick in another life,’ Amy said. ‘And Millie should be a professor of history at a university if she were a man—and what should I be? I lack my sisters’ talents, I think …’

‘In my opinion you lack nothing,’ Henry said. ‘But I shall not tell you what I think, for you will blush and tell me I am flattering you.’

Amy laughed. ‘You are the one blushing, Henry, and I am a wretch to tease you when your friend is so very ill.’

‘No, no—do not apologise. Your laughter has eased me, and despite a little exaggeration to your sister, the fact remains. Robert does have a nasty fever—and such fevers have been known to kill even strong men.’

‘Not when my sister is in charge,’ Amy said confidently. ‘She has such plans for Christmas, because she is determined to make up to us for all the sadness we have endured these past months. I am certain she will bully the poor man into getting well. Selina can be a very dragon when she likes, you know.’

‘And there was me thinking she was an angel,’ Henry said, and laughed softly.

‘Oh, she is that too,’ Amy said, with the affection that never lay far from the surface. ‘But do not make the mistake of thinking she is as mild and gentle as she appears. The earl will discover that when she says “swallow your medicine”, he will swallow if he knows what is good for him.’

Henry laughed. ‘I almost pity him,’ he said. ‘Yet again I think it may be exactly what he needs to bring him back from the shadows.’

CHAPTER SIX

‘SHE is worse than Major Barton,’ Robert grumbled when Henry brought water to shave him some days later. ‘I tell you, Nor, you have no idea what she’s put me through this past week. I have been forced to swallow the vilest stuff imaginable, made to wake up and eat gruel when I wanted to sleep—and refused decent food. If I don’t get out of this bed soon, I shall murder her.’

‘That’s better,’ Henry said, and grinned at him. ‘You are feeling stronger at last. Shall I tell her I can manage alone now? I know she can be a dragon at times. I have it on the highest authority.’

‘Who told you that? Miss Millie or Amy?’ Robert scowled at him. ‘Do you know that she has been bathing me with cool water—stripping me off and washing my body while I was in that fever. Damn it, I wasn’t wearing a stitch. What does that say for her modesty?’

‘Did she not cover your … er … private parts?’

‘Well, yes, she said so when I told her she was behaving in a most improper way for a spinster lady.’

‘So you came to your senses at an awkward moment, did you?’ Henry’s eyes sparkled with humour. ‘What did she answer you?’

‘She said that I need not fear for my modesty and implied that she was indifferent to my person, for a patient has no sex and they are all the same to her. Apparently she has nursed her father, her mother, her sisters—and one occasion one of the male servants.’

‘I trust you will not repeat that in company?’ Henry said. ‘What Selina may have said to you in confidence she would not wish known to others.’

‘Selina, is it?’ Robert glared at him. ‘Just what has been going on while I’ve been out of it?’

‘Nothing untoward,’ Henry said with serene indifference. ‘As for Selina—she is a perfect angel. I daresay you might have died if she had not been so devoted in her nursing.’

‘Nonsense! You would have pulled me through. You’ve done it in the past.’

‘You’ve never been quite as ill as you were that first night. I was truly worried until Selina took charge, but you soon rallied once she had cooled you down. Your fever came back three times, but between us we sat with you every moment of the day and night.’

‘Well, it was generous of her to give up so much time,’ Robert conceded grumpily. ‘I daresay she would have rather been preparing for Christmas.’

‘Yes, I imagine she might—especially since you started to get better and complained nonstop every time she gave you medicine.’

‘Well, it stops today,’ Robert said, a grim expression in his eyes. ‘I refuse to be treated like a naughty boy. Do you know what she said to me this morning?’

‘Pray enlighten me. I know you will …’ Henry turned away to hide his smile.

‘She said that I was a selfish man to be ill, and she was not going to let me spoil Christmas for her sisters by dying on her.’

‘Yes, I’ve heard her tell you that a few times,’ Henry said, and nearly choked as he tried to hide his amusement. ‘Sorry, I’ve got a tickle in my throat, I think.’

‘Well, don’t be ill,’ Robert warned. ‘She will make you pay for it, Nor. I’m telling you …’

‘You cannot mean it,’ Henry said. ‘At one time you were calling her your mama.’

‘I was off my head—and she scolded me just the way Mama did when I was ill as a child, after I went swimming in the river and caught a chill.’

‘I thought you didn’t catch chills?’

‘I don’t—haven’t for years.’ Robert glared at him. ‘You can take that grin off your face and help me get up. I’ll shave myself. It seems she’s got you all under her thumb.’

‘If you feel able to …’ Henry invited, and stood back.

Robert pushed the covers off, swung his legs over the edge and put his feet to the floor. When he stood up, he felt a most unpleasant sensation, as if the floor were rushing up to him, and sat down abruptly, cursing.

‘I’m as weak as a kitten.’

‘The doctor said you should stay in bed for two weeks.’

‘Damned if I will. It’s only just over two weeks to Christmas, and I’ve things to do, Nor.’

‘Miss Selina said that was rubbish. She thinks you should try sitting in a chair by the window today and see how you are tomorrow,’ Henry said gleefully.

‘Oh, she does, does she?’ Robert threw him a look calculated to kill at ten paces. ‘Well, as it happens, I don’t feel like getting up today. I shall stay in bed—and you may shave me this time.’

‘Whatever you say,’ Henry said, and hid his smile. ‘Shall I bring you something to read? Or would you prefer to work on your accounts?’

‘Trying to give me a headache? You can bring me a book—poetry or history or something of the kind. It’s ages since I bothered to read anything other than the news sheets.’

‘I’ll see what I can find,’ Henry promised. ‘And when I’ve shaved you, I’ll get you a plate of good beef and some pickles, if you fancy it.’

‘Thank you,’ Robert said, and laughed. ‘How do you put up with me, Nor?’

‘When you’re ill, with great difficulty,’ his friend said. ‘I’ll bring you some food, but you must eat it at once so I can take the tray away, or Selina will have me put on a court martial …’

‘He wanted to get up but decided to stay in bed for at least today,’ Henry said when he took the empty tray back to the kitchen and found Selina there, in the middle of stirring a rich cake mixture. ‘He has cleared his tray, as you see.’

‘How did you manage that?’ Selina looked up and smiled. ‘I am relieved to hear he is being sensible at last. When he banned me from his bedchamber, I thought he meant to get up to spite me.’

‘Oh, it was easy enough,’ Henry said, but refrained from telling her how Robert had grumbled about her. ‘I think he will begin to get stronger now, and I daresay he will be down soon enough.’

‘We’ve had several visitors asking after him,’ Selina said. ‘I was obliged to say I wasn’t sure how he went on and to tell them that you were his nurse, as you have been much of the time.’

‘Very sensible of you,’ Henry said. ‘I think the reason he was so annoyed was because he thought he might have compromised you. Should it become common knowledge, you might suffer some loss of reputation, Selina.’

‘It hardly matters for my sake. Since I shall be seeking a position as housekeeper, my ability as a nurse will not be held against me. I care only for my sisters’ sake. If Amy or Millie were to be harmed …’ She shook her head. ‘How can anyone outside the house ever know? No one calls in the evenings, and I have been downstairs during the day. Besides, Jobis cared for him much of the time once he began to recover. I made it clear to our visitors that the two households are separate.’

‘Yes, so Amy told me. The arrangement may be unconventional, but it is not unknown for two households to live separately in one large house. If the door was locked at our side of the library, no one would ever know how easy it is to go from one to the other.’

‘We must remember that when we have guests,’ Selina said. ‘Tomorrow is Millie’s birthday. She told me she hoped the earl would be well enough to dine with us but I wasn’t sure. I shall, of course, leave his nursing to you now that he is through the crisis, but we shall hope that you at least will come. Millie would be disappointed if you did not.’

‘I shall certainly be there, even if Robert cannot manage it,’ Henry assured her. ‘Jobis can take his meal up if I am otherwise occupied. I am not certain Robert will make it downstairs by then, but I think he has a gift for Millie—as do I.’

‘You really shouldn’t,’ Selina said, looking and feeling delighted. ‘How very kind. She does set great store by her birthday, though I’ve told her she ought not.’

‘Your sister is refreshingly honest,’ Henry said. ‘How much easier life would be if everyone were as open and natural as Millie.’

‘Well, yes, I suppose so,’ Selina said, and laughed. ‘We never have a dull day with her. She was subdued when Mama was ill, and she cried as much as any of us when she died—but she recovered quickly and bounced back to her normal self. She says that Mama told her not to be unhappy, because she would be with Papa and the babies she lost. Millie firmly believes that heaven is a beautiful place, where the sun shines and birds sing.’

‘It will be a shame when she loses that innocence.’

‘Yes. I remember I was much the same until I was sixteen.’

Henry’s gaze narrowed, intent on her face. ‘Did something happen when you were sixteen?’

‘I fell in love,’ Selina said, and smiled. ‘For one night I was gloriously happy, because I thought he loved me too—but the next day he passed me without seeing me. He went away and I never saw him again.’

‘And did that break your heart?’

Selina considered. ‘I felt hurt when he ignored me, but then decided he had not seen me. It was such a foolish incident, and yet for some time I believed my bold hero would come galloping back, sweep me up on his horse and ride off with me into the sunset. Then Mama took a turn for the worse, Papa started to gamble recklessly—perhaps because he could not bear to sit at home and see her fading—and I finally grew up.’

‘Yes, very understandable,’ Henry said, managing to look mildly interested instead of hanging on her every word, as he actually was. ‘Do you ever think of him now?’

‘The memory still makes me smile,’ Selina replied. ‘Should we ever meet again, we should be different people, of course—older and wiser. I am not suffering from a broken heart, sir. That would be nonsensical. No, no—I remember it as a young girl’s dream. My dreams today are very different.’

‘Would I intrude if I asked what they were?’

‘Not at all,’ Selina said with a smile. ‘Now I think of my sisters. I hope that Amy will make a good marriage. She would shine in society given the chance. And as for Millie—well, I hope to find a good home for her, and to be able to send her to a school where her thirst for knowledge would be answered. She had a governess until Papa died. Since then I’ve given her lessons in drawing, dancing and the pianoforte, but she needs no urging to learn.’

‘Your wishes for her are creditable,’ Henry said. ‘You know that there is no pianoforte here, of course? I realise you have a spinet, but you must wish for more musical instruments. The late earl had them all removed when his wife died.’

‘Yes, Trent told me something of the sort. I believe he actually had his wife’s pianoforte smashed to pieces when in the first flush of his grief.’

‘He could not bear anyone else to touch it. If Robert were to take up residence here, I think he would need to purchase an instrument.’

‘Yes, for it is pleasant to play to one’s guests in the evening, or have them play to you.’

‘I must speak to him. It would be good to have one in time for Christmas, and one could be delivered from Long Melford in two days. We brought several fine things with us from Italy and from France, but mostly art, statues and furniture. Robert had some idea of hiring a house while this was pulled down and rebuilt. Now I am not quite sure what decision he has made concerning his future.’

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