She’d gotten emotionally involved with Craig and his sons.

Jill knew better, but she’d done it anyway.

She’d wanted it to be real. All of it. Craig’s affection. And the boys’ feelings, too. She liked taking care of them. She liked being the one they confessed their secrets to, the one they ran to when they were hurting.

After years of being lonely, her heart had responded to the love between the boys and their father. She’d wanted a piece of that for herself. Was that so wrong?

Jill knew the answer. Of course it was.

Because it wasn’t real.

She was, after all, just the hired help.

Wasn’t she?

Part-Time Wife
Susan Mallery

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Table of Contents

Cover

Back Cover Copy

Title Page

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Extract

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Copyright

Chapter One

At the exact moment the hot water kicked on in the shower, the doorbell rang. Jill Bradford leaned her forehead against the ceramic tile and gritted her teeth. Timing. Life was all about timing and hers was usually bad.

Or maybe it was this house, she thought, grabbing her robe with one hand while she turned off the water with the other. Maybe there was a little light that ran from the bathroom to the front of the building so that every time she tried to take a shower, it went on. People saw the light and knew it was time to come calling. Yesterday it had been young girls selling cookies. Two days ago, someone selling magazine subscriptions.

The bell rang again, and Jill hurried down the hall. She had the fleeting thought that she could not bother with her robe and could simply flash whoever was rude enough to interrupt her shower, but decided against the idea. The way her luck was running, there would be a cop on the other side of the door and she would be arrested.

She reached the front door just as the visitor pressed the bell again. This time the long tone sounded impatient. Jill raised herself up on her toes and stared out the tiny peephole that had obviously been designed by and for the tall people of the world. She stared at the distorted image and gasped.

A cop?

Barely pausing long enough to secure the tie on her robe, she turned the key to release the dead bolt and jerked open the door. “Yes?”

“Ms. Jill Bradford?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Craig Haynes.”

The police officer paused as if the name was supposed to mean something. Jill stared at him and blinked. It didn’t mean a thing to her. She studied the man. He was tall. Too tall for her comfort. She had to crane her head back to see his face. But it was worth the crick in her neck, she decided, taking in curly dark hair, brown eyes and features handsome enough to grace a male model. She inspected the shape of his mouth and the stubborn set of his chin. She didn’t have a perfect memory but she was reasonably confident she would have remembered someone who looked as good as he did.

Her gaze slipped down his chest. The black short-sleeved shirt of his uniform outlined his well-muscled body. He had the build of an athlete. Impressive. Very impressive. Even to someone who had sworn off men and relationships.

“I’m sorry, Officer Haynes,” she said, returning her attention to his face. “I don’t know who you are.”

The faint hints of gray at his temples were the only clue he wasn’t as young as he appeared. He didn’t look thirty, but she would guess he was several years older than that.

He chose that moment to smile. Lines appeared around his eyes and mouth. His teeth flashed white. He should come with a warning label, she thought as her stomach clenched and her knees threatened to buckle. Do not operate heavy machinery around this man. If she hadn’t been leaning against the doorframe, she would have collapsed in a heap at his feet.

“I should have been more specific,” he said. “Your friend Kim gave me your name. She was going to take care of my kids. She said you would be happy to take her place.”

Kids? “Oh, now I remember.” Jill smiled. “Of course.” She pushed the door open wide. “Sorry. Please come in, and we can talk about this.”

“Thanks.” He stepped past her into the small entryway. The view from the back was pretty impressive, too, she thought as she gave him a quick onceover. Wide shoulders and the kind of butt most women would kill to have. Why was it men had great butts simply by virtue of being men, while women could aerobicize until their hearts were strong enough to power a freight train but the shape was never quite right? Not that Jill spent all that much time on the treadmill. Still, she thought about it a lot and surely that counted for something.

“In here,” she said, motioning for Craig to step into the living room.

He moved with an easy long-legged stride. She felt like a dwarf waddling along behind him. Not that she was heavy. She was just short. And curvy. An unfortunate combination that made her feel like a cuddly kitten in a world full of Barbie dolls.

The perfect creases in his uniform pants, and the carefully trimmed dark hair that stopped just above his collar, made her remember her own disheveled appearance. She touched her short hair and tried to remember how much it had been sticking up the last time she’d looked in a mirror.

“You’ll have to excuse me,” she said, perching on the edge of the sofa. Craig had chosen the wing chair opposite the fireplace. He leaned forward and placed his uniform cap brim-up on the coffee table. “I’ve been so busy taking care of things for Kim I haven’t had a chance to shower this morning.”

She tugged on the hem of her suddenly too-short robe and tried to look mature. She was thirty, but without makeup and tailored clothes, she looked like a teenager. Her mother had told her that in time she would appreciate looking so young, but Jill wasn’t sure. She had a bad feeling she was still going to look like a cute, albeit wrinkled, kitten well into her seventies. The tall world did not take short people seriously.

“When did Kim leave?” Craig asked.

“They eloped yesterday.” She smiled, remembering her friend’s happiness. Kim hadn’t been sure it was the right thing to do, but Jill had encouraged her to go. Real love, the forever kind, didn’t come around very often. Jill might have had her heart broken more times than any one woman deserved, but she still had faith—for other people, if not for herself.

“It was very romantic,” she continued. “Brian hired a limo to take them to the airport. She’d told a few friends, so they were here to see them off.”

She stared out the window, but instead of the front yard and the house across the street, she saw the radiant couple. The love between them had been as tangible as the small bouquet Kim had been holding.

“She called last night from Reno, and they’re already married. She should be back in a couple of weeks.”

There was a manila folder on top of the glass coffee table. Jill reached for it and flipped it open. There were several sheets of papers covered with careful notes. Lists of people to call, bills to pay, errands to run. She didn’t mind. It was the least she could do for a friend. After all, when her life had fallen apart, Kim had offered her a place to stay. Speaking of which, Brian would be moving into Kim’s house after the honeymoon. Jill needed to start looking for a place of her own.

Later, she told herself, scanning the list. Craig Haynes. Oh, there he was. Right between canceling a dentist’s appointment and checking on the delivery of Kim’s new king-size bed.

“Here’s the note,” she said, then glanced up at Craig.

The police officer had the oddest look on his face. As if he’d never seen anyone like her before. She reached up and fingered the ends of her short hair. Was it sticking up in spikes? Did she still have crumbs from her Pop-Tart toaster pastry around her mouth?

She licked her lips but didn’t feel anything. Craig’s gaze narrowed and his back stiffened. She almost asked what was wrong, but figured she probably didn’t really want to know. She glanced back at the list.

“Jill said you have three boys. Twelve, nine and six. That’s really not a problem for me.”

She made the statement brightly. Someone who didn’t know her wouldn’t notice the tightness around the words. No one would be able to feel her heart beating faster. Baby-sitting. There were a thousand other things she would have gladly done for Kim instead, like regrout the shower or put down a tile floor. But she hadn’t been given a choice. Still, it was just for a couple of nights. She would survive.

A wave of longing swept over her. She missed her girls. Her fingers tightened on the papers she was holding. They weren’t her girls, she reminded herself. She’d just been their stepmother. She must not have been a very good one, either, because ever since the divorce, neither of the girls had wanted to see her. But the pain wasn’t enough to stop her from missing them.

“Not so fast,” Craig said, leaning forward in the wing chair.

“Hmm? What?” She blinked away the past and focused on the very good-looking man sitting in front of her. “What do you mean?”

“Have you done this sort of thing before?” he asked.

“Taken care of children? Of course. I was a teenager, Officer Haynes. I baby-sat.” She thought of mentioning her failed marriage but figured it wasn’t his business.

“You’re not employed now.” It was a statement.

She felt a faint flush on her cheeks. “No. I left my last position a couple of months ago.”

“Were you fired?”

“No! Of course not. I just needed to get away. It’s more like a leave of absence. I have an open invitation to return if I want to.”

His dark gaze held hers. “The name of the company you worked for?”

“McMillian Insurance in San Clemente. That’s Southern California.”

“I know where it is.” He pulled a small notebook and pen from his shirt pocket and wrote. “Who did you report to there?”

She gave him the name and phone number, then frowned. “Excuse me, Officer Haynes, but I don’t understand why you’re interrogating me.”

“It’s Craig, and I’m not going to trust just anyone with my children.”

“I appreciate that. I assure you I’m not a convicted felon and—”

“Are you an accused felon?” The corner of his mouth tilted up with a hint of a smile.

“Not that either. I haven’t even had a parking ticket in years. My point is, I’m going to be looking after your children for one or two nights. While I appreciate your diligence, I think you’re taking it a little too far. I’m hardly going to be an influential force in their lives.”

“Is that what you think? Ms. Bradford—”

“Jill,” she interrupted.

He nodded. “Jill, I’m not looking for a baby-sitter. Kim had agreed to be a live-in nanny for my three boys. When she decided to elope, she said you’d take the job.”

“Well, she was wrong,” Jill said without thinking.

A full-time nanny? That was insane. Absolutely the last thing she wanted was to work with someone else’s kids. Okay, she didn’t have a job right now, but that was because she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life. She could go back to San Clemente. Her condo was sublet, but she could rent another one. Her job was waiting. But that didn’t feel right. She didn’t want to go back to her old life. That was the point of living with Kim for a few weeks.

Craig moved to the edge of the chair. He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together, clutching the notebook. “Jill, I’m in a bind. I’ve interviewed literally a dozen women for the position, and Kim was the only one I thought would work. She was young enough to be able to relate to the children and old enough to maintain discipline. She assured me you had experience with children and would be just as suitable. She also said you’d agreed to take her place.”

“I said I would baby-sit. She never told me it was a full-time job. My Lord, you probably want me to live with you and your boys.”

He nodded. His dark eyebrows drew together. “I’m currently involved in a special investigation. I won’t bore you with the details, but it requires me to be gone odd hours. I never know when I’m going to be called away. The boys are too young to be left alone. They need some stability. I’ve had five nannies in the last four months.”

She frowned. “What’s wrong with your children?”

He hesitated just long enough for her to suspect there really was a problem. “My wife and I divorced several years ago. Although she didn’t have much contact with them, her death last year shook them up. The woman who had looked after them left shortly after that. Since then it’s been one change after another. With my new assignment and being gone all the time—” He turned his hands palms up and spread his fingers. “They’re scared little kids who need someone to look after them. Nothing more.”

She rose to her feet and walked to the window. “You’re not playing fair,” she said slowly, staring at the house across the street. “I have this mental picture of poor starving orphans shivering in the snow.”

“Based on the weekly food bill, they’re not starving.”

Jill grimaced. Damn him, and damn Kim. When her friend returned from her honeymoon, Jill was going to give her a piece of her mind. This wasn’t fair. Not to Jill, not to Craig and not to the kids.

She fought against a twinge of guilt. She was partially to blame. When Kim had come to her and talked about eloping, Jill had encouraged her to just go for it. Her life was so upside-down, she wanted someone she cared about to be happy. Kim had worried about the job, and Jill had blithely told her she would step in.

Next time I’ll find out the details before agreeing, Jill promised herself. In the meantime, three boys didn’t have anyone to look after them.

“I find it difficult to believe that you couldn’t find one other nanny you liked,” Jill said.

Craig didn’t answer. She turned to face him and found him standing only a few feet behind her. She had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze.

“I’ve taken enough of your time,” he said and placed his hat on his head. The black uniform emphasized his dark hair and eyes.

He was leaving. That would be best for both of them. Yet what about the children? She really didn’t have a job right now, and she wasn’t ready to go back to San Clemente. She might never be ready to do that. Besides, she could use the money. If it wasn’t permanent, if she were careful to keep her heart firmly under lock and key, it might not be so bad. She would be a caretaker; she would not get personally involved.

“Spring break is in a few weeks,” she said quickly. “Let’s give each other a one-week trial. If it works out, I’ll stay until break. That will give you time to find someone who wants a permanent position. Agreed?”

He stared down at her. She couldn’t read his expression. She wondered how much of that was because he was a cop and how much of it was the man himself. He didn’t look like the chatty, outgoing type.

He crossed to her in two long strides and held out his hand. “Agreed.”

His smile once again made her knees threaten to buckle. At least she was short enough that if she collapsed it wasn’t a real long way down. She extended her hand toward him and tried to give him her best smile. He didn’t seem the least bit affected. Hmm, she would have to work on it more. She wanted to leave men in a broken heap trailing behind her. Maybe it was—

His skin brushed against hers. Instantly electricity raced between them. His long fingers and broad palm swallowed her hand nearly up to her wrist. Her heart thundered in double time and her breathing choked to a stop. She hoped she didn’t look as stunned as she felt. She hoped it was just a quirk of fate, a not-to-be-repeated cosmic thing, because there was no way she was going to get involved with a man. Any man. And certainly not one with children.

Been there, done that, she reminded herself. The punishing aftermath was still evident in her healing emotional wounds.

“Do you have a car?” Craig asked, apparently un-fazed by the sparks leaping between them. Or maybe they were just leaping one way.

“Uh-huh.” She withdrew her hand and, before she could stop herself, wiped it on her robe. The soft cotton did nothing to erase the electricity still prickling her skin.

He raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. She was grateful.

“If you want to pack a few things, we could go right over.” He glanced at his watch. “My neighbor could only stay with the boys for an hour.”

“They’re home today?”

“It’s Saturday.”

“Oh. I forgot.” With the excitement of getting Kim ready to elope, there hadn’t been time to keep track of mundane things like days of the week. “No problem.” She glanced down at her robe. “Let me take a quick shower and pack enough to last until Monday. I can come back here while they’re in school. I still have a few things to take care of for Kim.”

She started toward the doorway, then glanced at him. “You can have a seat. Or there’s coffee in the kitchen. Whatever.”

“I’ll wait here,” he said.

She stepped into the hallway.

“Jill?”

She turned around. He’d removed his hat and was running his hand through his hair. His self-control slipped a bit, and she saw the worry in his eyes. “I hope Kim knows what a good friend you are. You didn’t have to do this. I really appreciate it.”

The compliment made her uncomfortable. “No big deal. I’m a sucker for kids and puppies. Be right out.”

Even as she hurried up the stairs, she started making a mental list of everything she would have to do. Packing, stopping the paper. She wouldn’t worry about the mail today. But Monday she would put it on vacation hold. Kim didn’t have any pets, which made that part easy. She would tell Kim’s neighbor she was leaving so someone would keep an eye on the house. She would need Craig’s phone number, too.

She walked into the guest bathroom and closed the door behind her. As she glanced into the mirror, she stifled a groan. Her hair was sticking up in spiky tufts. Her mother had promised her it would darken as she got older, but it was still the color of a rag doll’s. She wore it short because otherwise she looked out of proportion. Without makeup, her eyes looked too big and green. That, combined with her small, almost triangular button nose, gave her an uncomfortable resemblance to the kitten so many people likened her to.

“I’ll just pencil in some whiskers and be done with it,” she muttered under her breath, then turned her back on the image and flipped on the shower. No wonder Craig Haynes had hired her. She looked young enough to be the perfect playmate for his kids.

* * *

Craig drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now that Jill had left the room, he was able to ease up on his iron-willed self-control. It was as if the dam burst, as heated blood coursed through his body, settling inappropriately in his groin. He walked to the window and stared out blindly. He hoped his new nanny believed in taking long showers. He was going to need the extra time to get himself back under control.

He could handle the fact that she was an attractive woman, although the petite pixie look had never been his type. Big green eyes and a smile that promised two parts humor and one part sin was okay with him, too. The tousled just-out-of-bed look was a bit more of a problem, but he knew he would have been able to keep it all together…if she hadn’t been naked.

He swore under his breath. He’d been so worried about the boys, he hadn’t noticed at first. But when she’d settled on the sofa, her full breasts had been evident beneath the thin fabric of her robe. He hadn’t had a date in two years. He hadn’t been with a woman for even longer. Unfortunately, his body had chosen that moment to surge back to life.

Even with her out of the room and only the faint hint of her perfume lingering in the air, he could feel the need flowing through him. He wanted to go to her and hold her in his arms. He wanted to kiss her and—

“Stop it,” he said aloud.

He had to get control. All that mattered was finding someone to take care of the boys. Jill Bradford was only a stopgap. He was going to have to find someone permanent. As if he had the time.

He rubbed the back of his neck. The dull ache that began between his shoulder blades and worked its way up his neck had become a permanent companion. Now it stepped up a degree in intensity. He would start interviewing right away. The agency swore they didn’t have anyone else to send him, but there had to be someone. Maybe the perfect nanny was about to leave her job somewhere else. He could only hope.

He heard footsteps overhead. He thought about all he knew about Jill. Kim had mentioned she was recovering from a messy divorce. He could relate to that. He’d gone through the same thing nearly six years ago. Krystal had wanted out, but she hadn’t made it easy. He’d hung on as best he could, trying to be both mother and father to the boys. He’d thought he was doing well, until this last year.

What had gone wrong? Was it the hours he put in? He didn’t usually volunteer for special assignments, but this one was different. There wasn’t a lot of glory involved. No big drug busts, no fifteen minutes of fame on the local news report. Just directly helping those in need. He’d wanted to give something back. Were his kids paying the price for that?

He knew some of the trouble with the boys was that they’d lost Mrs. Miller. She’d been a part of their lives for nearly five years. Coming on the heels of their mother’s death—Craig shook his head. No wonder the boys weren’t themselves.

He’d done his best to keep it from happening, but history was repeating itself again. He was gone a lot, as his father had been. He was failing his kids, and he wasn’t sure how to make it better.

A thunk from the top of the stairs broke through his musings. He walked through the living room and into the hallway. Jill was dragging down a suitcase almost as big as she was.

“I’ll get that,” he said, taking the stairs two at a time.

“I can manage,” she said politely, then stood aside to let him pick up the case. It wasn’t very heavy, but she was so tiny, how big could her clothes be?

“Is this it?” he asked when he reached the first floor.

She nodded. “I can come back and get whatever I’ve forgotten.” She had a purse over her shoulder. She shook it once, then frowned. “Keys. I need keys.”

While she glanced at the small table in the entryway, then patted her pockets, he studied her. She’d made a quick change. Her short red hair was still damp from her shower. Bangs fell nearly to her delicate eyebrows. The style left her small ears bare. She’d put on some makeup. With it, she looked older, although not anywhere near thirty, which he knew she was. She wore faded jeans that hinted at the curvy legs he’d seen just a few minutes before. The baggy white sweatshirt dwarfed her small frame. She’d pushed up the sleeves, exposing finely boned hands and wrists.

He had the uncomfortable feeling that a man as big as himself could easily crush her if he wasn’t careful.

“My keys,” she muttered, shaking her purse again. “Come on, Jill, you usually have it together.”

“But do you usually talk to yourself?” he asked.

She looked startled, as if she’d forgotten he was there. Then she grinned. “Yeah, I usually do. Sorry. You and the boys will have to get used to it.”

“Don’t worry. I talk to myself, too. A hazard of the job. Too much time alone.” He motioned toward the front door. “Are those your keys in the lock?”

She turned around and stared. “Oh. Thanks.”

He pulled them free. “Not a good idea to keep them here. If someone breaks in you want to make it hard, not easy. By leaving the keys in the door, you let him walk out the front, like he belongs here.” He shifted the keys until he held the one to her car. “Not to mention giving him a nice late-model vehicle to steal.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But if I don’t keep them in the door, I lose them.”

“You lost them anyway.”

She stared at him, then reached for her keys. He let them fall in her palm, rather than risk direct contact. Her expression turned thoughtful.

“Craig, do you ever go off duty?”

“Not usually.”

“How do the boys feel about that?”

Her green eyes saw too much, he thought grimly. He raised the suitcase slightly. “Do you need anything else?” he asked.

“Nope. I’m ready.” She followed him out onto the porch, then locked the door behind them. “What, no patrol car?”

He pointed to his two-year-old Honda. “Sorry, no. There’s a utility vehicle at the house so you can cart the boys and their sports equipment around, but I use this to get back and forth to the station.”

Her red Mustang convertible was parked in the driveway. She opened the trunk and he set the suitcase inside. “Get many tickets in this?” he asked.

“It looks flashy, but I never drive fast. I know that’s disappointing, but at heart I’m pretty boring.”

He was about to tell her he wouldn’t have used that word to describe her. Cute, maybe. Tempting, probably. Sexy, definitely. But boring? Not in this lifetime. And any man who thought that obviously had his head up his—

He cleared his throat. “I live south of here. In Fern Hill.”

“I’m not familiar with the neighborhood.”

“It’s an independent city. You’ll like it. Just follow me. I’ll go slow.”

Her gaze widened, as if she’d read more into his statement than he’d meant. Before he could explain, she smiled. “Okay, Officer Haynes, I’ll be right behind you.” She opened the driver’s door and slid inside.

As Craig started his car and pulled away from the curb, he thought about what Kim had said when she’d phoned to tell him she couldn’t take the job.

“I have a friend who would be perfect for you.”

In that moment, on a night when the pressures of the job and raising three kids alone had driven him to the edge of his patience, he’d wanted to believe she referred to more than a baby-sitter.

“Pretty stupid, Haynes,” he muttered. He’d given up on relationships a long time ago. There weren’t any promises, no sure things. And his ex-wife, Krystal, had taught him the foolishness of trying to believe in love.

So what if he found Jill attractive? All that meant was he wasn’t as dead inside as he’d thought. Maybe it was time to think about dating. There was only one problem. He came from a long line of men particularly gifted at screwing up relationships.

Chapter Two

Craig pulled up in front of the house and motioned for Jill to park her car in the driveway. He pushed the button on the garage door opener and got out immediately, but she sat in her red Mustang, staring. He glanced at the two-story home in front of him. It wasn’t all that different from his neighbors’. The area was a more recent development, about six years old. He’d bought the house after his divorce, thinking that making a clean break would make it easier for all the boys. Besides, Fern Hill had a great school system with a sports program that was the envy of the state. He’d wanted that for his sons.

He tried to see the house as a stranger would see it. The high peaked roof was Spanish tile, as were most of the others on the street. White stucco with wood accents, tall windows that—he squinted and stared—needed washing pretty badly. The front yard was oversized, mowed but not trimmed. He frowned. Since taking his temporary assignment, he hadn’t spent much time at home. The house showed the neglect. He wondered if the boys did, too.

Jill stepped out of her car and gave him a slight smile. “Cops make more money than I thought,” she said. “This is nice.”

“It’s south of the city,” he said, “so most people won’t make the commute. For me, it’s closer to work and closer to Glenwood, where my brothers live.”

“Great.” But she didn’t sound very enthused.

She walked around to the rear of her car and lifted the trunk. Before she could reach for the suitcase, he grabbed it and pulled it out.

This time her smile was genuine. “Thanks. Such nice manners. Your mother must be proud.”

Before he had to decide whether to explain that he hadn’t seen his mother in years, the front door was flung open and two boys raced down the walkway. Craig grinned when he saw them.

“Is this her?” C.J. asked. His nine-year-old looked like a typical Haynes male, with dark hair and eyes.

“Yes. Jill, this is my middle son, C.J. Short for—”

She looked at the boy and winked. “Let me guess,” she said, interrupting. “Craig Junior.”

“Yeah.” C.J. skittered to a stop in front of her and held out his hand. “Pleased to meet you, Ms. Bradford. I’m very much looking forward to having you as our nanny.”

She looked at Craig. “Impressive.”

He shrugged. “C.J.’s our charmer.”

“And a fine job he does, too.” She took the hand the boy offered. “The pleasure is mine, young master C.J.”

Craig turned and saw Danny standing by the edge of the driveway. He motioned him closer. His youngest held back a little, then walked toward them. Big eyes took in Jill’s appearance, then lingered on the bright red car. Craig put down the suitcase and placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Danny looked up at him and smiled.

Craig could go weeks without remembering, but sometimes, like now, when Danny smiled, it all came back. Krystal hadn’t come home after she’d had their youngest. She’d sent a friend to pack up her clothes, and she’d walked away without looking back. Danny didn’t know his mother, although he had some of her features. When the memories returned to force open old wounds, Craig clung to the only sane and constant source of strength in his world: his children.

He bent down and picked up Danny. The child placed one arm around his shoulder and leaned close. “She’s pretty. The prettiest of all of them.”

“Yes, she is,” Craig answered softly. Jill was pretty. And sexy and all kinds of things that most men would enjoy. She was also his employee, and as that, she deserved his respect and nothing more.

C.J. was chattering on about the neighborhood, his friends and what he would really like her to serve for dinner. When his middle son started in on an earnest discussion of why it was important to have dessert with every meal, Craig interrupted.

“I’m sure Jill knows what to prepare, C.J.”

The boy gave him an unrepentant grin. “Yeah, Dad, but a guy can always hope, can’t he?”

“Sure. Hope all you want, then eat your vegetables. Jill, this is my youngest, Danny.”

She moved close and touched the boy’s arm. Her green eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled. “Hi, Danny.”

“Do you like little boys?” he asked. “Mrs. Greenway didn’t. She said we were more trouble than we were worth.”

Craig winced. Mrs. Greenway had stayed for three days before he’d fired her, but she’d made a lasting negative impression on the boys.

Jill nodded. “Of course I like little boys. What’s not to like?” She glanced at Craig and rolled her eyes as if to ask what kind of person would take a job watching children if she didn’t like them in the first place?

He opened his mouth to reply, then realized he had merely interpreted her look that way. She might have meant something else entirely. He’d barely known Jill Bradford an hour. They couldn’t possibly be communicating that well.

But something bright and hot flared to life inside his chest. It wasn’t about sex, although he still liked the way she looked in her jeans. It was something more dangerous. A flicker of interest in what and how a woman thought. As if they could be friends. As if he could trust her. Then he reminded himself he didn’t trust anyone but family.

“Ben said you should get Mrs. Miller back,” Danny said, his hold on Craig’s shoulder tightening. “I miss her, too.”

“Mrs. Miller was the boys’ nanny for several years,” Craig explained. “They miss her.”

Danny looked at him and bit his bottom lip. “Do you think she misses us?”

“Of course. And now you have Jill.”

“Until spring break,” she reminded him.

“Until then,” he agreed. Danny and C.J. both glanced at him. “Jill is taking the job temporarily. For five weeks. In the meantime, I’ll find someone permanent.”

Neither boy said anything. Craig fought back a feeling of frustration. How was he supposed to explain and make up for the ongoing turmoil in his children’s lives? It would be different if they had the stability of two parents, but there was just him. He was doing the best he could, but sometimes, like now, he had the feeling it wasn’t nearly enough.

“We’ve been alone for ten minutes, Dad,” C.J. said. “We didn’t burn the house down.”

“Congratulations,” Craig said. “As I told you before, my neighbor could only stay with them for an hour, so I really appreciate you coming back with me.” He glanced at his watch. Damn. He was late already.

“I think your dad has to go to work. Why don’t we go inside so he can show me everything, then be on his way?” Jill reached for Danny. Surprisingly, the boy let her lift him down. “You’re heavy,” she said admiringly. “You must be big for your age.”

“He’s a shorty,” C.J. said, but his tone wasn’t unkind.

“Am not!”

Jill bent down so she and Danny were at eye level. “I don’t think you’re short.”

“That’s ‘coz you’re shrimpy, too,” he told her.

“Don’t you know all the best things come in small packages?” They smiled at each other.

Craig picked up the suitcase again. “Lead the way,” he said.

C.J. and Danny took off through the garage. Jill followed more slowly.

“I really appreciate you doing this,” he said.

“I’m sure it will be fine.” She spoke calmly, but when she glanced at him he could see the panic in her eyes. “It’s just been a while since I was around kids.”

“It’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget.”

“Are you saying that because you’re an expert?”

He paused in the middle of the garage. “No, because I’m a concerned father who’s about to leave you alone with his three kids. I’m sort of hoping it’s true so that everything will be okay.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll survive.”

“C.J. and Danny won’t be much of a problem. They’re easygoing, although some things still scare Danny.”

“He’s only six. What would you expect?”

“Exactly,” he said, pleased that she was sympathetic. “Ben may not be so easy.”

“He’s the oldest?”

He nodded. “He’s twelve.”

“Does he get in a lot of trouble?”

“No. He doesn’t do much of anything. He watches TV and plays video games.” Craig didn’t know what to do for his oldest. He didn’t understand the boy’s reluctance to participate in anything. Ben was the only one old enough to remember his mother. He didn’t like to talk about it, but Craig knew he missed her. Maybe he even felt responsible for her leaving. But he’d never been able to get his son to talk about it.

Nothing had been normal since Krystal left. Not that it was so great before or that he’d ever once wanted her to come back. Hell, he didn’t know what was normal anymore.

He turned around and pointed to the black sport-utility vehicle. “This is for you. You’ll need it to take the boys places. C.J. plays several sports, and Danny is starting Pee-Wee league. The equipment fits in the back easily.”

“Groceries, too. I think all boys do is eat.”

Craig didn’t want to think about that. About Ben and how much weight he’d gained. “Yeah,” he said. He walked toward the door leading into the house. “Here’s the key.” He touched a ring and key hanging from a hook on the wall. “It’s an automatic, so you shouldn’t have any trouble driving it.”

She looked at the large truck-size vehicle. “As long as I don’t have to parallel park, I’ll be fine.”

He opened the door and waited for her to step inside. She did so, then gasped audibly. He looked over her head and saw why.

There was a half bath on the right and the laundry room on the left. Piles of clothing toppled out of both rooms into the small hallway. More clothing was stacked in the family room. There were books, school backpacks, newspapers and toys littering the floor, coffee table and sofa. One end of the big dark blue leather sectional was buried under jackets and a pile of clean clothes he’d managed to run through the washer and dryer the previous evening. He’d asked the boys to sort out their belongings and take them upstairs, but no one had bothered.

Shoes formed an intricate pattern across the rug. Magazines for kids, car lovers, computer buffs and music fans had been tossed everywhere. Stacks of newspapers, more magazines, toys and a few actual books filled the bookcases on either side of the stone fireplace. The entertainment center to the right of the fireplace contained a TV, which was on, a VCR and stereo equipment. Videos had been piled next to the unit. The shelf where they belonged was bare.

Craig shifted her suitcase to his left hand and motioned to the mess. “I don’t know what to say,” he murmured. “I hadn’t realized it had gotten so bad.”

Jill turned and looked at him. Her green eyes were wide, her mouth open. “You didn’t realize? How could you not? This isn’t a mess it’s a…a…” She closed her mouth. “I don’t know what it is.”

“I guess I should have gotten in a cleaning service.”

He glanced around the room. C.J. and Danny were standing in front of the entrance to the kitchen. He was glad. If Jill saw that, she would turn tail and run. Damn it, he couldn’t blame her, either. How had this happened? Why hadn’t he been paying attention?

“There are four men living here,” he said, by way of an explanation.

“More like four wild animals.”

Danny chuckled at her comment. Jill smiled at the boy and the tightness at the base of Craig’s neck eased a little. Maybe she wasn’t going to leave.

“I’ll get a service in,” he said.

“I’ll arrange it first thing Monday morning,” she said, nudging a soccer ball out of her way so she could step farther into the room. “You don’t want a nanny, Craig, you want a part-time slave. Anybody around here know what a vacuum looks like?”

“I do!” Danny said brightly. “But I’ve never used it.”

“That seems to be a family trait.”

Craig set the suitcase down. “I’m sorry, Jill. I should have noticed what had happened to this place. We haven’t talked about salary yet and I—”

She held up her hand to stop him. “No. I can’t be bribed. I agreed to do this for Kim and I will. For exactly what you were going to pay her. Just tell me one thing. Is it worse upstairs?”

“Sure is,” C.J. said proudly and grinned. “Wanna see?”

“Not just yet.”

Just then something moved on the sofa. Craig saw Ben stretching toward the remote control to change the channel. As always, the sight of his oldest brought on a wave of regret and frustration. He knew he was doing something wrong, but he didn’t know what. He tried to encourage the boy to be more active. He practiced sports with him when he could. They’d talked about Ben needing to eat less. Nothing had helped. He could see his oldest was in a lot of pain, but he didn’t know how to help.

“Ben, this is Jill Bradford.”

Ben didn’t bother turning his attention from the television. “I thought her name was Kim.”

“I told you yesterday. Kim eloped. Jill is taking her place. Say hello.”

“You’re leaving us with someone you don’t even know? A woman you’ve just met? Thanks, Dad.”

The censure in the twelve-year-old’s tone made Craig’s hands tighten into fists, but he didn’t move. He knew Ben was trying to get to him, but he wasn’t going to let it happen. “Ms. Bradford isn’t just some woman I found. I’ve interviewed her and checked on her. She’s very—”

The sight of someone on the sofa had startled Jill enough that she was able to focus on something other than the disaster that had once been a very attractive family room. Craig’s comment captured her attention. “You checked me out? Behind my back?”

“Yes.” He frowned. “I don’t know you. I can’t trust my children with just anyone.”

“I know but it’s so yucky. Sneaking around behind my back.”

“I did not sneak.”

His brown eyes darkened with a combination of concern and temper. She understood both. She shouldn’t have questioned him, at least not in front of the boys. C.J. and Danny were staring at her, while Ben hadn’t taken his attention from the television. The house looked as if it had been overrun by a fraternity, and she was about to be put in charge of three children. She who had sworn she would never get involved with someone else’s kids again. She was in over her head and sinking fast. Yet she couldn’t walk away. From the look of things, she was needed. Aaron, her ex-husband, had needed a wife and surrogate mother. Any woman would have done. These boys needed a nanny and there was no one else around. She’d always been a sucker for being needed. Only this time she was going to be smart. She was going to keep from getting personally involved. She wasn’t the boys’ part-time mother, and she wasn’t Craig’s part-time wife. She was only the hired help. Assuming she survived the first week, when spring break arrived she would be out of here. It was just a job.

Craig glanced at his watch again. He was obviously late. In his well-fitting black uniform, he looked competent and dangerous. An interesting combination. Her body continued to react to this close encounter with a good-looking man. She ignored the sweaty palms and slightly elevated pulse. He would be gone soon. From the looks of the house, he was gone a lot.

“I’ll be fine,” she said, stepping farther into the room. “You go to work. The boys and I will handle the introductions.”

“Are you sure? I hate to leave you but I was due at the station a half hour ago.”

“We have lots to do,” she said, and smiled brightly. C.J. grinned in return. Danny gave her a shy half smile. Ben ignored everything but the television.

“Okay, boys, be good for Jill. If there’s a problem, the station’s number is by the phone in the kitchen. See ya.” He gave a quick wave and disappeared out the door to the garage.

It was one of those moments when the television went perfectly silent. The sound of the closing door was unnaturally loud in the suddenly still room. Two pairs of eyes focused on her. Jill found herself fighting the urge to run out and tell Craig she’d changed her mind. Instead she glanced around the room, sure it couldn’t be as bad as her first impression.

Nope. It was worse. It would take two days to get it picked up enough for the cleaning service to find the dirt. Dear Lord, what had she gotten into?

She thought briefly of Kim’s now-empty house and where she was going to go when her roommate returned from her honeymoon. The last couple of nights alone had given her too much time to brood. She was beginning to see that she was coasting through life without any direction. It was time to get moving again. Maybe this challenge was just the jump start she needed.

“Okay, boys,” she said. “Let’s have a meeting and get to know each other. I want to hear how you do things, and I want to tell you what I expect in return.”

Danny and C.J. were standing in front of the entrance to the kitchen. It was up two steps from the family room. The boys moved toward her. Jill stared at the kitchen and thought she might faint.

There wasn’t a square inch of free counter space. Dishes, open boxes of cereal, empty containers of milk, cookies and bags of chips were everywhere. Cupboards were open; most of the shelves were bare. She thought of C.J.’s claim that upstairs was worse. She didn’t want to know.

“Where are we going to have our meeting?” Danny asked.

She looked down at him. His light brown eyes were bright with questions and welcome. His shy smile was hard to resist. She glanced around to find a relatively clean spot. Through the kitchen she saw a formal dining room. The table didn’t look too overrun with schoolbooks and sports equipment.

“In there,” she said, pointing. “Come on, Ben.”

The boy ignored her.

She walked over to stand in front of the TV. She was blocking the screen, but he continued to stare as if he could see the program.

“Don’t you want to talk?” she asked.

“No. You’re not going to stay, so why should I bother?”

“Because it’s polite. The world is a nicer place when everyone tries to get along.”

“You read that on a bumper sticker?” he asked rudely, still not looking at her.

“Oh, a smartmouth,” she said. “Very nice. Very impressive. You think if you intimidate me, you get your way?”

He shrugged.

Ben had his father’s dark hair. She suspected he had his eyes, too, but he wouldn’t look at her so she couldn’t tell. He was a good-looking kid, although about twenty pounds overweight.

From the corner of her eye, she saw C.J. and Danny watching. She hated being tested her first five minutes on the job and she hated it more that the other two brothers were here to witness the event. If she didn’t get Ben’s attention, the next five weeks were going to be miserable. She and Craig had given each other an out by agreeing to a one-week trial. If she really hated it here, she wouldn’t mind leaving after that time, but she didn’t want to be run off by a twelve-year-old with an attitude problem. She had her pride.

More than that, Ben reminded her of a growling but lonely dog. The animal desperately wants petting, but it’s afraid to let anyone close enough. So instead, it scares the world away, then whimpers because it’s alone.

Of course, she could be reading the situation completely wrong. After all, she’d had stepdaughters for nearly five years and had assumed they cared about her. She’d been proven wrong.

She spun around, then turned off the television. “Please come into the dining room, Ben.”

She took a step away. Ben leaned forward and pressed a button on the remote control. The television popped back on. Defiance this soon wasn’t good. Jill drew in a deep breath, not sure what to do. She and Craig hadn’t discussed discipline. Of course, there hadn’t been time to discuss anything.

She thought about physically threatening Ben. There were two problems with that. First, it wasn’t really her style. Second, she had a feeling he was taller than her. If only she knew what Craig did in situations like this. Then she looked around at the messy house and the three boys with emotionally hungry eyes. Maybe there wasn’t a house rule. Maybe no one had the time or cared enough to lay down the law.

The problem with her trying to do it was that she didn’t have a power base.

She could feel C.J. and Danny still watching her, waiting to see what she would do. This showdown with Ben was going to set the tone for her five weeks…or her one week, if she blew it.

Nothing like performing under pressure, she thought, staring at Ben and praying for inspiration. Like a gift from heaven, it arrived.

She smiled, then bent over and swept everything off the right half of the coffee table. Books, magazines, the television remote control, three glasses that were, fortunately, empty and plastic, and a half-eaten sandwich. Ben looked startled. Good. Better to keep him off-balance.

She knelt in front of the coffee table and placed her elbow on the slick wooden surface. She flexed and released her hand. “You ready to back up that smart mouth with some action?” she asked, trying to sound confident and tough. This was all going to blow up in her face if he beat her.

“What are you talking about?”

“You and me. Right here. Right now.” She smiled. “Arm wrestling, Ben. If you win, you get to sit here and watch TV until you’re old and gray and your bones are dissolving. If I win, you do what I say. Starting with turning off the TV and coming with your brothers for a meeting.”

“Cool!” C.J. said. “You can beat him, Jill.”

Ben glared at his brother. “This is stupid,” he muttered.

But he wasn’t looking at the television anymore, Jill thought triumphantly. She shrugged. “Maybe. If you’re chicken.”

“I’m not chicken.”

Danny made a clucking noise.

“Shut up, brat.”

“I’m not a brat.”

“You’re a shrimpy brat.”

“Boys.” Jill spoke firmly. Both of them looked at her. She stared at Ben. “Put up or shut up, young man. Either you’re tough, or you’re not. Let’s find out.”

Those dark eyes stared at her. She tried to figure out what he was thinking, but along with his father’s good looks, Ben had inherited Craig’s ability to keep some of his thoughts to himself.

“If I win, I get to watch TV and I get five bucks.”

She thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. “If I win, you not only do what I say, but you give up TV for the weekend.”

Ben glanced at her right arm, then at her. “Deal.” He slid off the sofa and onto the carpet. After placing his elbow on the coffee table, he clasped her hand with his. C.J. and Danny moved closer.

“Come on, Jill, you can do it,” Danny said loudly. He ignored Ben’s glare.

Jill hoped the boy’s confidence in her was going to pay off. Since moving in with Kim, she’d started working out with light weights. She knew she was stronger than she had been, but was it enough? She knew very little about the strength of twelve-year-old boys. She could only hope that Ben’s inactive lifestyle gave her an advantage.

Her gaze locked with Ben’s. A flicker of uncertainty flashed through his eyes. She thought he might be a little afraid of winning. That would give him more power than most children would find comfortable. At least she liked to think so.

“C.J., you say go,” she said, and shifted on the carpet. Ben would probably go for the quick kill. If she could hold on during that, she might have a chance. If she could win, she would make it look hard, so Ben could save face.

Ah, the complications of dealing with a houseful of men, she thought. She leaned forward so she could have the maximum leverage and sucked in a breath.

“Go!” C.J. yelled.

Chapter Three

Jill thought she’d prepared herself for the assault, but when it came, Ben nearly drove her hand into the table. She managed to keep him from slamming it down, but barely. She had to bite her lip to keep from crying out.

She didn’t look at him or either of the other boys. She focused all her attention on her arm, willing it to be strong.

She finally managed to get their hands back in an upright position. She pressed hard, and he gave. She risked glancing at him. She saw the panic on his face. He was about to be humiliated in front of his brothers.

Her heart went out to this stubborn, proud, overweight boy who probably endured the taunts of his classmates and the lack of confidence that went with not fitting in. She was torn between wanting to make him feel better and needing to establish a presence in the house. As she’d decided, if she could win, she would. But she wouldn’t make it look easy.

Her arm was shaking, but not as badly as Ben’s. They knelt there, with their arms perpendicular to the table.

“You gonna beat ‘im, Jill?” Danny asked, earning a glare from his oldest brother.

“I’m trying,” she said through gritted teeth. She moved slightly to the left, forcing his wrist down.

C.J. laughed. “Come on, Ben. She’s just a girl.”

“Then you try it,” Ben complained. “She’s stronger than she looks.”

“Lesson number one,” Jill said. “Never underestimate the power of a woman.”

With that she pressed the back of his hand down onto the wood. Both C.J. and Danny cheered. Ben released her fingers and rubbed his wrist as if it hurt.

“I thought I’d win for sure,” he said, then smiled sheepishly. In that moment, he looked exactly like his father. He was going to be a heartbreaker when he grew up, she thought. He leaned over, grabbed the remote control, turned off the television, then handed the clicker to her.

“Haynes men keep their word,” he said simply.

He sounded so serious. The words were those of a mature man, not a twelve-year-old boy. But the way he said them, she believed him.

“You’re being very gracious,” she said. She was surprised. She’d thought he would be a sore loser. One point for him, she thought, deciding that if he really cooperated with her today, she would let him watch a little TV tonight. She’d learned early on it paid to compromise.

“Okay, why don’t the three of you give me the nickel tour.”

Danny frowned. “We get a nickel if we give you a tour?”

“No, stupid. It’s just an expression.”

Apparently Ben’s magnanimous attitude didn’t extend to his brothers. “No name-calling, please.” She stood up and placed her hand on Danny’s shoulder. “But Ben is right. ‘Nickel tour’ is just an expression. It means to give someone a quick tour. Not a lot of details.”

“Oh, okay.”

C.J. looked at her and grinned. “Are you sure you want to see the rest of the house?”

She glanced at the piles of laundry by the door to the garage, then at the dishes in the kitchen. “Sure. How bad can it be?”

The three boys laughed together.

Fifteen minutes later, Jill didn’t feel like laughing. She wanted to turn tail and run. She didn’t understand how people could live under these conditions. It didn’t make sense. Didn’t anyone notice that virtually every possession was out of the cupboards, closets and drawers and on the floor?

She stood in the center of the upstairs hall, staring at C.J.’s room. “Doesn’t your dad make you pick up your stuff?” she asked.

“Oh, sure,” he told her. “All the time. He gets real mad if we don’t.”

“Then explain this.” She motioned to the toys, books, clothes and cassette tapes littering the room.

“He’s been gone.” C.J. gave her a charming smile. All three brothers were going to cut a swath through the female population when they got older. But for now they were just messy little boys.

There were four bedrooms upstairs. To the left was Craig’s. Not wanting to pry, she’d only peeked inside. She’d had a brief impression of large pieces of furniture and a bed that looked big enough to sleep six. Of course, she wasn’t even five foot two. To Craig the bed was probably just big enough. His room was relatively tidy, with only a few pieces of clothing tossed on the sofa facing the corner fireplace.

Next to his bedroom was a small alcove. There was a large desk with a computer and printer. Disks had been piled around the keyboard. On the wall was a bulletin board covered with computer-generated graphics.

Each boy had his own bedroom. First Danny’s, then C.J.’s, then Ben’s. The bathroom they shared was right next to the stairs. Jill glanced in each of the rooms and saw far more than she wanted to. Danny had toys piled everywhere, C.J. had tons of clothes scattered and Ben seemed to be storing half the plates and glasses on his floor. Aside from that, the three rooms were all identical, each with a twin bed, a dresser, a desk and a set of bookshelves attached to the wall.

“You’re all slobs,” she said, pausing outside their bathroom door. It was closed. She thought about opening it and looking inside, but then decided that some things were best left for professionals.

“We work hard at it,” C.J. said.

Danny moved next to her and touched her hand. “I’ll help you clean up.”

“Thanks, honey.”

Ben snorted. “The little shrimp’s already sucking up.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Excuse me,” Jill said loudly. “You’re all going to help me clean up. We’re going to do the laundry, pick up everything that doesn’t belong on the floor and do the dishes.”

There was a collective groan.

“I’m sorry,” Jill said. “But it’s your fault. If you’d chosen to live like civilized people instead of baboons—”

She knew the word was a mistake as soon as she said it. Instantly all three boys hunched over and started making monkey noises.

“Herds of the Serengeti, return to the family room,” she said over the din of their hooting.

They began the awkward shuffle down the stairs. Halfway there, the game changed and became a race. The in-line skates resting on the foyer floor created a hazard, but everyone avoided them.

“Where does the sports equipment go?” she asked.

“There’s a closet under the stairs,” C.J. told her.

She found the door and opened it. The storage space had a slanted ceiling, but the floor space of a small room. It was empty. “Ah, I see you like to keep it clean in here and not in the rest of the house. It makes perfect sense now. Why didn’t someone tell me?”

C.J. grinned, Danny giggled, even Ben forgot to scowl. Together, the four of them walked into the family room. Jill saw her suitcase sitting there. “Where do I sleep?” she asked, realizing she hadn’t seen a guest room.

“Here,” Danny said, pointing to a door at the far end of the family room.

She walked around him and stuck her head inside the cheerful bedroom. Big windows looked out onto the backyard. The white wicker furniture looked new. There was a bright yellow bedspread on the double bed, and she could see the entrance to her own private bath.

This was by far the cleanest part of the house.

“Dad says we’re not allowed in here,” Danny said. “Mrs. Miller lived here before she had to go away. Now you live here.”

Jill thought about pointing out the fact that her stay was temporary but figured the boys had been through enough today. Instead, she carried her suitcase into her room, then tried to figure out what should be done first.

“Danny and C.J., you two start sorting laundry.”

The boys stared at her blankly, identically confused expressions drawing their mouths into straight lines.

“Clothes,” she said, pointing to the piles around the laundry room and flowing into the hallway. “Sort them. By color. One pile for whites. One pile for darks, one for lights and another for jeans.”

A lock of medium brown hair fell across Danny’s forehead. He was the only one of the Haynes males she’d seen who didn’t have dark hair and eyes. “Those piles are going to be huge. They’re going to reach the ceiling.”

She looked at the mounds of clothing. “Oh, probably, but do the best you can. Ben, I’d like you to help me in the kitchen. We’re going to load the dishwasher and try to figure out what color the counters are.”

“I know what color they are,” C.J. said. “They’re white.”

She leaned over and wrapped an arm around his neck. Rubbing her knuckles against the top of his head, she said, “I know they’re white. I was just being funny.”

The boy giggled and wiggled, but didn’t move away. Her chest tightened in sympathy as she wondered when they had last been hugged by a woman. It couldn’t be easy growing up without a mom.

She released C.J. He and Danny went to work on the clothes. Ben followed her into the kitchen, and with only minor grumbling began loading the dishwasher. Jill sorted through cereal boxes, figuring out which were empty and which just needed to be put away. There were piles of food. Bread, chips, jars of salsa. A melted carton of ice cream had spilled on, then stuck to, the counter. She wet a cloth and set it over the mess. Maybe by that night it would have loosened up a little.

From the family room came muffled sounds of a battle being waged. C.J. and Danny were tossing more clothes than they were piling, but the work was getting done. Ben made the flatware dive-bomb the dishwasher. The childish sounds brought back memories of being with her two stepdaughters. She shoved the last box of cereal onto the top pantry shelf and wondered what they were doing now. Did they ever think of her or miss her? She still remembered how hard it had been to lose them. Even after her divorce from Aaron, she’d wanted to see the girls. She’d tried to call them, but their mother said to leave them alone. Jill had quickly found out she didn’t have any legal rights to visitation, and when she’d pushed the matter, Patti and Heather had phoned her directly and told her to stop bothering them. They had a mother, they didn’t need her.

The words still had the power to wound her. She hadn’t tried to take their mother’s place in their lives. She’d just wanted to love them. Was that so bad? It must be a horrible crime because they’d never forgiven her for it.

“You got a husband?” Ben asked.

She spun toward him. He was stacking plates in the bottom of the dishwasher and had his back to her. “No. I’m not married.”

“Got any kids?”

“No. Of course not. If I had children, I would be with them.”

He looked up at her. “Why?”

“I just would. I wouldn’t—” She had started to say, “leave my children,” but clamped her mouth shut. Craig had told her that the boys’ mother had left them.

Without thinking, she crossed the room to stand next to him. She reached out to touch him, then had second thoughts. Her hand hung awkwardly between them. At the same moment she moved closer, he started to straighten. A lock of dark hair fell onto his forehead. She reached up and brushed it back. Ben stiffened, but didn’t move away.

She smiled, then frowned. She was looking up. “My word, you are taller than me!”

He grinned. Once again, he reminded her of his father. If he could just lose a little weight, he would be a good-looking kid. She wondered what Craig would think if she tried to help Ben with his problem.

By the time Ben had filled the dishwasher and stacked up the dishes for the next load, she’d found out there was no fresh food in the house. Actually there was very little to eat at all. When she commented on the fact, Ben told her that his father had meant to go shopping that day, but he’d been called to work.

“He’s on some secret assignment,” he said. “He can’t talk about it.”

“You must be very proud of him. Not many people get to make a difference every time they go to work.”

Ben seemed startled by her compliment, then he smiled slowly. “Yeah, I am proud of my dad.” Then the smile faded. Was he thinking of all the times his dad was gone?

“I don’t suppose he mentioned when he’d be home,” she said.

Ben shook his head. “There’s phone numbers on the wall.” He pointed to a bulletin board stuck above the telephone.

Jill walked over and stared at them. There was the number for the police station, a doctor, then a list of men. Travis, Jordan, Kyle and Austin.

“They’re my uncles,” Ben offered. “Except Austin. He’s not really, but we call him Uncle because we’ve known him forever.”

It must be nice, she thought, thinking of her own scattered family. She’d been an only child and her parents had split up while she was still in grade school. She’d spent the next seven years being shuffled between one household and the other, never really feeling settled or wanted in either.

“We’re done!” Danny announced.

She looked into the family room and saw four mountains of laundry. “That’s got to be twenty loads,” she said in awe.

“It’ll take forever,” Danny said.

“Maybe not forever. Maybe just until you’re in college.”

He giggled at the thought.

She made the boys soup and sandwiches for lunch. There was just enough food to get them through the day. She didn’t want to go grocery shopping without talking to Craig and finding out what her budget was. While the boys ate, she put in the first load of whites.

“I can do it loud,” C.J. said, then slurped his soup.

“That’s nothing,” Ben said, and proceeded to prove his point.

There was laughter and more slurping. She bit back a smile. These boys were different from her stepdaughters, but she liked them. They were alive and made her feel the same way. That was something she hadn’t enjoyed in a long time.

After a few minutes, the slurping became annoying. She didn’t want to tell them to just stop. Better to condition them into following the rules. Easier for everyone in the long run.

“Are you three having a slurping contest?” she asked as she closed the laundry room door behind her.

“I’m winning,” Danny said.

“Are you? Oh, that’s too bad. Whoever comes in last gets the largest serving of ice cream for dessert.”

Silence descended like night at the equator. Instantly and irrevocably. She had to fight back her smile. Ah, the power of dessert. It was a lesson she’d learned well. There was one last carton in the freezer, so she could make good on her promise. She looked at Ben and thought it might be better to get low-fat frozen yogurt next time.

C.J. glanced up at her. “You tricked us, Jill.”

“I know.” This time she allowed herself to grin. “Being a grown-up is pretty cool.”

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Craig opened the front door and stepped into the house. Jill’s car was still in the driveway. He’d forgotten to give her the garage door opener so she could park her Mustang inside. He’d also forgotten to discuss the details of her salary, give her money for food or talk about days off. He’d left in a hurry because he’d been late. And because he’d been afraid she would change her mind about taking care of the boys. Frankly, he couldn’t have blamed her.

He closed the door behind him. There was a night-light at the top of the stairs, and the house was quiet. Everyone had survived. Relief swept over him, and with it, guilt. Just because he didn’t know what to do about his boys didn’t mean he could avoid them. He had to take responsibility. Sometimes, though, it was hard being the only one they could depend on.

He glanced at the living room, then did a double take. Where there had been piles of junk sat only furniture. The dining room was the same. He moved to his right, down the small open hall and glanced into the kitchen. The counters were clear, the sink clean, the trash can empty. Beyond, in the family room, most of the toys and sports equipment had been picked up. The videotapes were off the floor and the few piles of laundry left had been sorted by color.

He moved farther into the room. The TV was off, but lights were on. Jill lay curled up asleep at one end of the sofa. All around her were piles of clean, folded laundry. He didn’t know whether to wake her up or leave her in peace. He’d never thought of the sofa as particularly comfy, but she was a lot smaller than he.

Before he could decide, she turned her head toward him and opened her eyes. The bright green color surprised him. He’d forgotten the intensity of her gaze. Then she smiled. His body reacted with all the subtlety of a freight train crashing into a brick wall. Blood flowed hot and fast. His breathing increased and an almost unfamiliar pressure swelled in his groin.

“You’re home,” she said, her voice low and husky. “I wondered if you would be. I almost called the station, but I didn’t want to bother you. Is everything okay?”

“Fine.” He motioned to the folded laundry. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you do all this work. I really was going to call a service.”

“You still are.” She sat up and stretched. The hem of her sweatshirt rode up, exposing the barest sliver of bare belly before descending and hiding all from view. “I don’t mind doing the laundry and cooking, but I’m scared to go into the boys’ bathroom. I think they’ve invented some new fungus, and I don’t want to have to battle it.”

“I’ll call on Monday,” he promised.

She shifted so she was leaning against the arm of the sofa and rested her chin on the back. “I already did. They’ll be here at ten. Are you hungry?”

His stomach rumbled at the question. “I guess I am. Come to think of it, I didn’t have time to eat today.”

She rose to her feet. She must have been asleep for a while. Her hair was all spiky, and it reminded him of their encounter that morning. When she’d been in her robe…and nothing else.

The mental image did nothing to alleviate his now-painful condition. Nor did he want it to. It had been far too long since he’d desired a woman. He didn’t have to do anything about it with Jill. In a way it was enough to still be able to feel something.

“Don’t be too impressed,” she said, leading the way into the kitchen. “It’s just pizza. There isn’t much here, but I didn’t want to go grocery shopping without talking to you first.”

“I’m sorry about that, too. I just took off and dumped everything on you. I’d meant to discuss some things, but I had to go in and…” He gave her a halfhearted smile and rubbed the back of his neck. The pain there was pretty constant, the sort of nagging ache brought on by too much stress and too little of everything else.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. She opened a box on the counter and slid three slices of thin-crust pizza with everything onto a plate. Then she put it into the microwave oven to heat and opened the refrigerator. “Water, milk, soda or beer?”

“Beer.”

She took the bottle and untwisted the cap. “Have a seat,” she said, handing him the drink and motioning to the kitchen table. She poured a glass of water for herself.

He stared at it for a moment. “I’m trying to remember the last time I saw this kitchen so clean.”

“Judging from the number of dishes we put through the dishwasher, I would say some time last Christmas.” She held up her hand before he could speak. “Don’t apologize again. I understand. But we do have a few details to work out.”

He settled in the seat at the head of the table and gratefully drank his beer. She pulled the pizza out of the oven and gave it to him, then took the chair opposite his. While he ate, they discussed her salary, the grocery budget, the kids’ schedules for school and sports.

“Danny and C.J. need to be picked up but Ben takes the bus,” he said, then bit into the third piece of pizza.

She sat cross-legged on the kitchen chair. Just looking at her folded legs made his knees throb. She’d run her hands through her hair, but there were still spiky tufts sticking up. Most of the lights in the house were off. Only the lamp in the family room and a small light over the stove illuminated the kitchen. In the dim room, her pupils were huge, nearly covering her irises, and her eyes looked black against her pale skin.

Her small hands fluttered gracefully as she moved. She made notes on a yellow pad, detailing where to pick up whom and what foods made the boys gag.

“I’m not a fancy cook, but pretty much everything I put together is edible,” she said.

“That’s all we require.”

She glanced at him. “This has been hard on you, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He took a swallow of beer and set the bottle on the table. “Since Mrs. Miller left there’s been four different women in here. I guess she spoiled us. I didn’t think it would be that difficult to replace her, but I was wrong.”

“Well, you’ve got another five weeks until you have to think about that.”

He raised his eyebrows. “What happened to our one-week trial?”

She shrugged. “I spent the day with the boys, and I think I can handle it. Unless they don’t like me, I can’t think of a reason why I can’t stay the agreed time. At least it will save you from having to look for someone instantly.”

“I think I’ve interviewed nearly every nanny in a fifty-mile radius.”

He supposed he could have put the boys in some kind of day-care program and then just hired sitters for the weekends, but that never seemed to work out. He had to coordinate meals, cleaning, food shopping. It was easier to find one person to do it all. He was fortunate enough to have the money to pay for outside help. Every day he saw people who survived on much less.

“Now you get a break,” Jill said. “Besides, staying here gives me some time, too. When Kim and her husband come home from their honeymoon, the last thing they’ll want is a houseguest. I was going to have to look for my own place anyway. I haven’t decided if I want to stay here or go back to San Clemente.” She looked at him and smiled. “Now I don’t have to.”

Intellectually he knew his boys were sleeping upstairs. There were neighbors across the street and next door. He and Jill were hardly alone. Yet he couldn’t shake the feeling of the world having been reduced to just the two of them. In the brief silences of their conversation he could hear the soft sound of her breathing. Despite his best effort to keep his attention above her shoulders, his gaze was drawn again and again to her chest. Not just to stare at her breasts, although they stirred his imagination, but also to watch her breathe. She wasn’t like any woman he’d ever dated. Of course, he was getting old and there was a chance he couldn’t remember back that far.

He studied her hands on the glass. Her slender fingers made random patterns in the condensation. Her nails were short and unpainted, but still feminine. He couldn’t get over how small she was, every part of her perfectly proportioned, but little. Krystal had been tall, nearly five-nine. Most of the women he’d dated had been tall, as well.

“I didn’t know how you wanted to handle discipline with the boys,” she said.

“Ben’s already been a problem?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Why assume it was him?”

“C.J. is very charming and fun-loving. Like my brother Kyle. He prefers to get his way by cajoling. Danny is going to be shy for the first couple of days, which leaves only Ben.”

Ben had also been a problem in the past. Craig grimaced as he remembered the reports from Ben’s teachers. The boy was sullen and uncooperative. His grades continued to be good, but he didn’t participate in group activities.

“I did convince him to behave,” she said, then stared down at the table. “But I’m not sure you’ll approve of the method.” She glanced up, her gaze sheepish. “I didn’t know if you did time-outs or sent the boys to their rooms, and I was afraid if I demanded he do something, he wouldn’t. He’s even taller than me.”

“So what did you do?”

“I challenged him to an arm-wrestling match. If I won, he had to do what I said. If he won, he got to watch TV for the rest of the weekend.” She paused and took a sip of water. “I don’t know if it’s right or not, but when kids get old enough, I like to work out a compromise with them. Time-outs, then removing privileges. I make deals, because that’s a part of life. No one gets everything all the time.”

He was intrigued. And impressed. “Did you win?”

She smiled slowly. “Yes, but at first I was afraid I wasn’t going to. For what it’s worth, he was a very gracious loser.”

“That’s something.” The pain at the back of his neck got worse. He rubbed it, wondering when it was going to go away. Probably about the time he got his life together. Like in the next century or so.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing. Just stress.”

“Do you want some aspirin?”

“That would be great.”

She walked across the family room and into her bedroom. When she returned carrying two pills in the palm of her hand, he felt another flash of pain that had nothing to do with the tightness of his muscles. This one involved his soul.

He missed being a part of someone’s life. He missed the day-to-day sameness of married life. He didn’t miss being married to Krystal, but he missed being emotionally committed to a woman.

He looked at Jill, at her pert features and her bright green eyes. She smiled as she handed over the medication. Their hands barely touched, yet he felt the jolt all the way to his groin.

He’d hired Jill for the boys, to make their lives stable. He hadn’t known inviting her into his home was going to cause him to want all the things he knew he could never have.

Chapter Four

“How was your day?” Jill asked as Craig took the aspirin and swallowed.

He hesitated, not sure how to answer her question. A lot of his special project was confidential. Before he could decide what to tell her she settled in the seat opposite him and wrinkled her nose.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said briskly. “I understand you’re involved in something secret. I wasn’t asking to get privileged information, I was just being polite. You know. How was your day? My day was fine. That sort of thing.”

She tugged on a sleeve of her sweatshirt, pulling the cuff until it was up near her elbow. As she repeated the procedure on her other arm, he noticed how small and delicate her wrists were.

“I’m not used to someone asking,” he said at last, mostly because it was the truth. Lately no one had been around enough to bother. He leaned back in his chair and studied the bottle of beer in front of him. “It was…difficult. Every time I think I’m immune to the scum of the world, they manage to surprise me.”

She scooted forward and rested her elbows on the table. “What are they doing now?”

“I can’t talk about the specifics of the case, but I’ll tell you what was reported in the press.” He grimaced. “Not on the front page, of course. Someone ripping off the elderly isn’t exciting enough.”

“Is that what’s going on?”

“Yeah. There’s a ring of three, maybe four people who get in accidents with senior drivers. They’ll stop suddenly so they get rear-ended, or they turn left on a yellow light and drive slow enough to get hit. Anything to make the victims think the accident is their fault. Then they pretend to be concerned, talking about how an aging parent lost his or her license because of an accident. They mention increased insurance rates. It’s based on truth, which makes it more frightening for the victims. Often they convince the senior drivers to pay in cash for damages to the car.”

“The price of which is several times what it’s supposed to be, right?” Jill asked, her green eyes flashing with anger. “How horrible. I don’t understand people like that. It’s cruel and ugly. I’m glad you’re doing something to stop them.”

Craig stared at her, surprised by the vehemence of her reaction. Sometimes he talked to his brothers about his work. Except for Jordan, they were cops and they understood. Krystal never had. When he’d tried to talk about his work, she’d gotten bored. In her opinion the fools of the world got what they deserved.

Now, with the perfect vision of hindsight, he wondered what he’d ever seen in her. But he already knew the answer to that question. At twenty-two she’d been stunningly beautiful with a body that could tempt a saint. She knew how to use her best assets to her advantage, and for some reason, she’d set her sights on him. He hadn’t been thinking with his head when he’d proposed. The worst of it was, he couldn’t even regret what had happened between them. Marrying Krystal had been a mistake, but he would do it all over again if given the choice. The reward of his children wasn’t something he could wish away.

“It’s slow going,” he said, and shrugged. “I’m working with a team of elderly citizens. We’re mounting a sting operation.”

She grinned. “I bet they’re great to work with.”

“They are,” he agreed. “There’s this one woman, Mrs. Hart. She lives alone. She’s got to be seventy, but you’d never know it. She’s been begging me to let her wear a wire.” He glanced at Jill. “A microphone and tape. She keeps cruising around the seniors center and the bingo halls, hoping they’ll pick her. I keep telling her she’s seen too many movies.”

“She sounds terrific.”

“Yeah.” His smile faded and he hunched over his beer. “I hope they don’t get her. A couple of the accidents didn’t go as planned. The timing was off, or the jerks doing this stopped too soon. A woman was killed.”

“Oh, Craig.” She reached across the table and touched his hand with her fingers. The light brush wasn’t erotic. Nor was it meant to be. Instead, the caring gesture offered comfort and he accepted it.

“We’ll get ’em. I don’t usually do this kind of work, but the detectives needed some assistance and I volunteered. When the hours keep me away from the kids, I try to justify it by telling myself I’m doing the right thing.”

“You are,” she assured him. She pulled her hand away and laced her fingers together on the edge of the table. “Why a cop?”

“That’s easy. I come from a long line of cops. Four generations on my dad’s side. All my uncles—my dad was one of six. Two of my brothers. Jordan’s the only holdout. He’s a fire fighter. We tease him about it.” Craig took a sip of beer. “If you ask me, anyone voluntarily going into a burning building day after day is crazy.”

“Some people would say that about what you do.”

“Maybe.”

The corners of her mouth tilted up. “So you’re one of four boys, you have five uncles and three boys of your own. There aren’t many girls in your family, are there?”

“There hadn’t been one born in four generations. My brother Travis had a girl, though.”

“Oh, progress for the female gender.”

“Jordan has a theory that Haynes men only have girls when they’re in love. If it’s true, it doesn’t say much about the last four generations of husbands. Or my marriage. Elizabeth—that’s Travis’s wife—says it’s more about the female being predisposed to accept male or female sperm. She pointed out that she’s one of three girls, and she comes from a family that mostly has daughters. I guess when Kyle and Sandy have their baby we’ll know who’s right.”

Jill was staring at him as if he’d grown a second head. “You look lost,” he said.

“I am. All these names. How big is your family?”

“I have three brothers and Austin. He’s family, but not by blood.”

“Where are your folks?”

He didn’t like talking about that, but it was a reasonable question. “My mom took off about fifteen years ago. My dad hadn’t been much of a husband. He fooled around constantly. She took it for as long as she could, then one day she walked out. She didn’t bother packing a bag or leaving a note. She just left. We never saw her again.”

“If she didn’t take any luggage, how do you know—” She bit on her lower lip.

“How do we know something didn’t happen to her?”

She nodded.

“Jordan saw her leave. She told him she’d had it and wasn’t coming back. He was only seventeen and didn’t know what to do. He came to me. I was already out of college and living on my own. I told him to keep what he heard to himself. It was hard on all of us. Probably hardest on Kyle, because he’s the youngest.”

Her green eyes were wide and dark with emotion. It wasn’t pity. Maybe concern. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. My brothers and I were always close, but after that we pulled together more. My dad remarried a couple of times, then moved to Florida. I haven’t seen him since before Ben was born.” And he didn’t want to. He would never forgive his father for what he’d done to the family.

“You’ll meet my brothers while you’re here,” he said. “We get together a lot.”

“It sounds nice, but a little overwhelming. I’m an only child. As it is, I’m going to have my hands full adjusting to living with a houseful of men.” She grinned. “I’m thrilled to have my own bathroom so I won’t have to fight to keep the toilet seat down.”

“I trained them better than that. It shouldn’t be a problem anywhere.”

She looked at the table, then at him. Her full mouth straightened. “You know, Craig, despite how you’re beating yourself up right now, you’ve done a good job with the boys.”

“I don’t think I want to know how you read my mind.”

“It wasn’t hard. I think most single parents worry that they’re not doing enough. Add to that the pressures that go with your job and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. But from what I saw today, they’re good kids.”

“I can’t take credit for that,” he said. “Everything is so messed up.” Ben. What was he going to do about his oldest?

“Divorce has a way of doing that to families.”

He took a swallow of beer. “So what’s your story?”

“It’s not very interesting.” She leaned back in her chair and raised her hands, palms up. “I met a man I loved and who I thought loved me. It was a whirlwind courtship. I married him, and his two daughters came to live with us.” She smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes.

“Patti and Heather were so sweet. I adored them. I wanted to be their mother. I did everything I could for them. I was working, so I didn’t have a lot of time.” She paused, as if thinking. “I was working extra hours. Aaron had high alimony payments so I supported the household. I really didn’t mind. Looking back, I suppose I should have.”

“How long has it been?”

“Eighteen months. I know what you’re thinking. That I should be over it by now. In a way I am. It’s just that I tried too hard not to think about it, and then one day I couldn’t think about anything else.”

“I’m surprised Aaron allowed you to support his two kids.” He shook his head. “I guess I shouldn’t be. My ex-wife used to tell me that I was old-fashioned. According to her, my philosophies about men and women went out with hoopskirts.”

“We never really talked about it,” she said. “I sort of offered and he accepted. It was an unspoken rule in our family. He didn’t have to say what he wanted or needed. I just knew.”

Craig understood about that kind of selfishness. He’d grown up watching his father expect the same from his mother. “But he never bothered figuring out what you wanted.”

She shook her head. “The really sad part is, until a few months ago, I had convinced myself I didn’t want anything at all. That just being part of the family was enough.”

He and Krystal had been the same way, except in his case, he’d been the one anticipating her needs. She’d taken easily, without once feeling the need to give back. As a point of honor, he’d done the opposite of his father. He’d sworn fidelity. Foolishly, he’d expected the same. But Krystal had never agreed with him about that. In fact, they’d agreed on very little.

Jill drew in a slow breath. “Eventually I figured out Aaron married me to get custody of the children. It hurt, but I got over it. Then one day we ended up in court.”

She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her calves. He wanted to move around the table and comfort her. The impulse surprised him. He’d known this woman less than twenty-four hours. Yet there was something about the night. Something about the moment and the confessions that made it seem that they’d known each other for much longer. Maybe it was the shared pain. Like wounded warriors, they talked about their injuries and knew what the other had endured.

“His ex-wife won back custody of her daughters and just like that the girls were gone.” She blinked several times. “Then Aaron didn’t need me anymore.”

Everything about her—the way her shoulders hunched forward, the set of her mouth, her fingers locked so tightly together that her knuckles turned white—told him there was more to the story. But he didn’t ask.

She looked up and forced a shaky smile. “I tell myself it’s Aaron’s loss. I doubt I was the best wife in the world, but I tried hard, and I make a dynamite meat loaf. How many people can claim that kind of f-fame?” Her voice cracked on the last word.

She cleared her throat and continued. “I could have handled it,” she said softly. “If only someone had told me it was just temporary. I wouldn’t have felt like such a fool. I would have made sure it wouldn’t hurt so bad.”

“Your ex-husband and my ex-wife should be locked up together. They deserve each other.”

She glanced at him. “I thought you said Krystal was, ah, you know.”

“Dead?”

She nodded.

“She is. But they still deserve each other. Aaron sounds like a jerk.”

“Don’t expect me to defend him,” she said. “I’m done with that. And while I appreciate the words of support, I’d like to remind you that you’ve known me a day. You’ve only heard my side of this story. His is probably completely different.”

“Maybe, but I’ll take your word for what really happened. I’m sure Aaron regrets the loss. You’ve got a lot going for you.”

She chuckled. “Oh, sure. I have a temporary job, after which I’ll be unemployed again. I’m divorced and just turned thirty. Men are lining up for miles.”

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