The Tycoon’s Paternity Agenda

Michelle Celmer

And

High-Society Seduction

Maxine Sullivan

www.millsandboon.co.uk

To my dad

The Tycoon’s Paternity Agenda

Michelle Celmer

“If this is unsuccessful, are you still willing to try again?”

“Of course! I’m in this for the long haul.” She yawned deeply, her eyes overflowing with tears. “Well, goodness, all of a sudden I feel exhausted.”

She must have slept as poorly as he had last night. Plus she’d had that long drive this morning. “Why don’t you close your eyes and rest.”

“Maybe just for a minute,” she said, her eyes slipping closed. Within minutes her breathing became slow and deep and her lips parted slightly. He sat there looking at her and had the strangest urge to touch her face. To run his finger across her full bottom lip …

He shook away the thought. He hoped this was a one-shot deal. He hoped the test came up positive, not only because he wanted a child, but because he wanted to get the emotionally taxing part of the process out of the way. This entire experience was doing strange things to his head.

Dear Reader,

Welcome to book one of my BLACK GOLD BILLIONAIRES series!

I’ve probably said this before, and at the risk of repeating myself, I just love writing billionaire heroes. But not for the reason you may think. Yes, they’re sexy and charming and, yes, they have unlimited resources, but it’s more than that. I love that when you peel back the layers, and break down the defenses, they’re really just regular guys. They want what everyone wants. Love, acceptance … even if they’re too tough or too stubborn to admit it!

That’s never been truer than with Adam Blair. He’s got it all figured out. He thinks having a child will complete him, fill the hole in his life that has been there since he lost first his mother, then his wife to cancer. What he never counted on was his ex sister-in-law, Katy Huntly, coming into his life. Not only do opposites attract, they practically combust! But how could two people with practically nothing in common, who want totally different things from life, expect to make a relationship work?

I guess you’ll just have to read the book to find out …

Best,

Michelle

About the Author

Bestselling author MICHELLE CELMER lives in southeastern Michigan with her husband, their three children, two dogs and two cats. When she’s not writing or busy being a mom, you can find her in the garden or curled up with a romance novel. And if you twist her arm really hard you can usually persuade her into a day of power shopping.

Michelle loves to hear from readers. Visit her website, www.michellecelmer.com, or write her at PO Box 300, Clawson, MI 48017, USA.

One

There was no doubt about it, the man was insufferable.

Yet here she was sitting in her pickup truck in the visitors’ lot of the Western Oil headquarters building in El Paso, the ruthless, Texas-afternoon sun scorching her face through the windshield.

Katherine Huntley hadn’t seen her brother-in-law, Adam Blair, CEO of Western Oil, since her sister’s funeral three years ago. His call asking to meet her had come as something of a surprise. It was no shock, however, that he’d had the gall to say he was too busy to meet on her own turf in Peckins, two hours north, and asked her to come to him. But he was the billionaire oil tycoon and she was a lowly cattle rancher, and she was guessing that he was used to people doing things his way.

But that’s not why she agreed to come. She was long past overdue for a trip to the warehouse store for supplies anyway, and it gave her the chance to visit the cemetery. Something she did far too infrequently these days. But seeing Rebecca’s grave this morning, being reminded once again that Katy had gone from baby sister to only child, brought back the familiar grief. It simply wasn’t fair that Becca, who’d had so much to live for, had been taken so young. That her parents had to know the excruciating pain of losing a child.

Katy glanced at the clock on the dash and realized she was about to be late, and since she prided herself on always being punctual, she shoved open her door and stepped out into the blistering heat. It was so hot the soles of her boots stuck to the blacktop. She swiftly crossed the lot to the front entrance, and the rush of icy air as she pushed through the double glass doors into the lobby actually made her shiver.

Considering the suspicious looks the security guards gave her as she walked through the metal detector, they must not have gotten many women dressed in jeans and work shirts visiting. And, of course, because she was wearing her steel-toe boots, the alarm began to wail.

“Empty your pockets, please,” one of them told her.

She was about to explain that her pockets were already empty, when a deep voice ordered, “Let her through.”

She looked up to find her brother-in-law waiting just past the security stand, and her heart took a quick dive downward.

Ex-brother-in-law.

Without question the security guards ushered her past, and Adam stepped forward to greet her.

“It’s good to see you again, Katy.”

“You, too.” She wondered if she should hug him, but figured this situation was awkward enough without the bur den of unnecessary physical contact, and settled for a handshake instead. But as his hand folded around her own, she wondered if he noticed the calluses and rough skin, not to mention the short, unpainted fingernails. She was sure he was used to women like Rebecca, who spent hours in the salon getting pedicures and manicures, and all the other beauty treatments she neither had time nor the inclination for.

Not that it made a difference what he thought of her nails. But when he released her hand, she stuck them both in her jeans pockets.

In contrast, Adam looked every bit the billionaire CEO that he was. She had nearly forgotten how big he was. Not only did he look as though he spent a lot of time in the weight room, he was above average in height. At five feet nine inches, few men towered over her, but Adam was at least six-four.

He wore his dark hair in the same closely cropped style, although she could see strands of gray peppering his temples now. Of course, as was the case with men like him, it only made him look more distinguished. There were also worry lines at the corners of his eyes and across his forehead that hadn’t been there before. Probably from the stress of dealing with Rebecca’s illness.

Despite that, he looked good for a man of forty.

Katy was only seventeen when her sister married Adam ten years ago, and though she had never admitted it to a soul, she’d had a mild adolescent crush on her gorgeous new brother-in-law. But neither she nor her parents would have guessed that the charming, handsome man intended to steal Rebecca away from them.

“How was your trip down?” he asked.

She shrugged. “The same as it always is.”

She waited for him to explain what she was doing there, or at the very least thank her for making the long drive to see him. Instead he gestured to the shop across the lobby. “Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

“Sure. Why not?”

Other than the shop employees, everyone seated inside wore business attire, and most had their nose buried in a laptop computer, or a cell phone stuck to their ear. But when Adam entered, everyone stopped what they were doing to nod, or greet him.

Good Lord. When the man entered a room, he owned it. But he was the boss, and it was obvious people respected him. Or feared him.

She followed him to the counter and he spouted some long, complicated-sounding drink to the clerk, then turned to Katy and asked, “What would you like?”

“Plain old black coffee,” she told the clerk. She didn’t care for the frou-frou blends and flavors that had become so popular lately. Her tastes were as simple as her lifestyle.

With drinks in hand, he led her to a table at the back of the shop. She had just assumed they would go up to his office, but this was okay, too. A little less formal and intimidating. Not that she had a reason to feel intimidated. She didn’t know why she was here, so she wasn’t really sure what she should be feeling at this point.

When they were seated, Adam asked, “How are your parents? And how are things at the ranch? I trust business is good.”

“We’re good. I don’t know if you heard, but we went totally organic about two years ago.”

“That’s great. It’s the way of the future.”

She sipped her coffee. It was hot and strong, just the way she liked it. “But I’m sure you didn’t ask me here to talk about cattle.”

“No,” he agreed. “There’s something I need to discuss with you. Something … personal.”

She couldn’t imagine what personal matter he might have to discuss with her as anything they might have had in common had been buried along with her sister. But she shrugged and said, “Okay.”

“I’m not sure if Becca mentioned it, but before she was diagnosed, we had been having fertility issues. Our doctor suggested in vitro, and Becca was going through the hormone therapy to have her eggs extracted when they discovered the cancer.”

“She told me.” And Katy knew that her sister had felt like a failure for being unable to conceive. She had been terrified of disappointing Adam. Her entire life seemed to revolve around pleasing him. In fact, Becca spent so much time and energy being the perfect high-society wife that she’d had little time left for her family. Adam’s schedule had been so busy, they hadn’t even come for Christmas the year before she got sick.

If it had been Katy, she would have put her foot down and insisted she see her family. Even if it meant spending the holidays apart from her spouse. Of course, she never would have married a man like Adam in the first place. She could never be with anyone so demanding and self-centered. And especially someone who didn’t share her love for the ranch. But according to her parents, practically from the instant Becca left the womb, she had been gunning to move to the city, to live a more sophisticated lifestyle.

Sometimes Katy swore Becca was a doorstep baby.

“She was so sure she would beat it,” Adam continued. “We went ahead with our plans, thinking we could hire a surrogate to carry the baby. But, of course, we never got the chance.”

“She told me that, too,” Katy said, pushing down the bitterness that wanted to bubble to the surface. Harvesting the eggs had meant holding off on treating the cancer, which just might have been the thing that killed her. Katy had begged Becca to forget the eggs and go forward with the treatment. They could always adopt later on, but Becca knew how much Adam wanted a child—his own flesh and blood—and as always, she would have done anything to make him happy.

It would have been easy to blame Adam for her death, but ultimately, it had been Becca’s choice. One she had paid dearly for.

“I’m not sure what any of this has to do with me,” Katy said.

“I thought you should know that I’ve decided to use the frozen embryos and hire a surrogate to carry the baby.”

He said it so bluntly, so matter-of-factly, it took several seconds for the meaning of his words to sink in.

Baby? Was he saying that he was going to hire some stranger to have her sister’s child?

Katy was beyond stunned … and utterly speechless. Of all the possible reasons for Adam asking her here, that particular one had never crossed her mind. How could he even consider doing this to her family?

She realized her jaw had fallen and closed her mouth so forcefully her teeth snapped together. Adam was watching her, waiting for her to say something.

Finally she managed, “I … I’m not sure what to say.”

“So we’re clear, I’m not asking for your permission. Or your approval. Out of courtesy—since it’s Rebecca’s child, too—I felt I should tell you what I plan to do.”

He wasn’t the kind of man to do things as a “courtesy.” He did nothing unless it benefited him. She was guessing that he’d consulted a lawyer, and his lawyer had advised him to contact Becca’s family.

“I also thought you could give me some advice on the best way to break the news to your parents,” Adam added, and Katy was too dumbfounded to speak. As if losing their daughter wasn’t heartbreaking enough, now they would have to live with the knowledge that they had a grandchild out there with a father who was too busy to even give them the time of day? How could he even think about doing this to them? And then to ask her help? Was he really so arrogant? So self-absorbed?

“My advice to you would be don’t do it,” she told him.

He looked confused. “Don’t tell them?”

“Don’t use the embryos.” She was so angry, her voice was actually shaking. “Haven’t my parents been through enough? I can’t believe you could be selfish enough to even consider putting them through this.”

“I would be giving them a grandchild. A part of their daughter would live on. I’d think that would please them.”

“A grandchild they would never see? You really think that’s going to make them happy?”

“Why would you assume they wouldn’t see the baby?”

Was he kidding? “I can count on one hand how many times you and Becca came to visit the last three years of your marriage. My parents were always making the effort, and in most instances you were too busy to make the time for them.” She became aware, by the curious stares they were getting, that the volume of her voice had risen to a near-hysterical level. She took a deep breath, forced herself to lower it. “Why not get remarried and have a baby with your new wife? You’re a rich, handsome guy. I’m sure women would line up to marry you. Or you could adopt. Just leave my family out of this.”

Adam’s voice remained calm and even. “As I said, I’m not asking your permission. This meeting was simply a courtesy.”

“Bull,” she hissed under her breath.

Adam’s brow rose. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not some simple, stupid country girl, Adam. So please, don’t insult my intelligence by treating me like an uneducated hick. I’m here because your lawyer probably warned you that my parents could fight this, and you want to avoid any legal entanglements.”

His expression darkened, and she knew she’d hit a nerve. “Your family has no legal rights over the embryos.”

“Maybe not, but if we decided to fight you, it could drag on for years, couldn’t it?”

His brow dipped low over his eyes, and he leaned forward slightly. “You don’t have the financial means to take me on in court.”

Not one to be intimidated, she met his challenge and leaned toward him. “I don’t doubt there’s some bleeding-heart attorney out there who would just love to take on a case like this pro bono.”

He didn’t even flinch. Did he know she was bluffing? Not only did she know of no attorney like that, she didn’t think her parents would ever try to fight Adam. They would be miserably unhappy, but like Becca’s defection from the family fold, they would accept it. And learn to live with it. They didn’t like to make waves, to cause problems, which is why they allowed Becca to drift so far from the family in the first place. Had it been up to Katy, things would have been different.

Adam’s expression softened and he said in a calm and rational voice, “I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves.”

“What do you even know about being a parent?” she snapped. “When would you find the time? Have you even considered what you’re getting yourself into? Diaper changes and midnight feedings. Or will you hire someone to raise the baby for you? Leave all the dirty work to them?”

“You don’t know anything about me,” he said.

“Sad, considering you were married to my sister for seven years.”

He took a deep breath and blew it out. “I think we got off on the wrong foot here.”

Actually, what she had done was reverse the balance of power so that now she had the upper hand. It was the only way to deal with men like him. A trick Becca had obviously never learned.

“Trust me when I say, I have given this considerable thought, and I feel it’s something I need to do. And I assure you that both you and your parents will see the baby. My parents are both dead, so you’ll be the only other family the child has. I would never deny him that.”

“And I’m just supposed to believe you?”

“At this point, you really don’t have much choice. Because we both know that the chances of finding a lawyer who will represent you for free are slim to none. I’ve been in business a long time. I recognize a bluff when I see it.”

She bit her lip. So much for having the upper hand.

“I’m not doing this to hurt anyone, Katy. I just want a child.”

But why did it have to be Becca’s child? “We may not be as rich as you, but we can still fight it.”

“And you would lose.”

Yes, she would. But she could put up one hell of a fight. And put her parents through hell in the process. Not to mention decimate them all financially.

The sad fact was she had no choice but to accept this. She was going to have to take him on his word that they would see the baby. What other recourse did she have?

“Can I ask who the surrogate will be?”

He was gracious enough not to gloat at her obvious surrender. “I’m not sure yet. My attorney is looking at possible candidates.”

She frowned. “How will you know they’re trust worthy?”

“They’ll go through a rigorous interview process and background check. If they’ve ever been arrested, or used illegal substances, we’ll know about it.”

But there was no way to know everything. Katy watched the national news and knew situations like this had a way of going horribly awry. What if the woman smoked, or did drugs while she was pregnant? Or took some other physical risk that might harm the baby? Or what if she decided she didn’t want to give the baby up? Would it matter that it was Rebecca’s egg?

Or even worse, she could just disappear with Rebecca’s child, never to be seen again. For Katy’s parents—and probably Adam, too—it would be like losing Rebecca all over again.

“What if you think the woman is trustworthy, but you’re wrong?” she asked him, growing more uneasy by the second.

“We won’t be,” Adam assured her, but that wasn’t good enough.

She took a swallow of her coffee, burning her tongue. If she let him do this, she could look forward to nine months of being on edge, worrying about her niece or nephew’s safety.

There was only one person she trusted enough to carry her sister’s baby. It was completely crazy, but she knew it was the only way. The only good way. And she would do whatever necessary to convince him.

“I know the perfect person to be the surrogate,” she told Adam.

“Who?”

“Me.”

Two

Adam had imagined several possible scenarios of what Katy’s reaction would be when he told her his plans. He thought she might be excited. Grateful even that a part of Rebecca would live on in the baby. He had also considered her being upset, or even indignant, which proved to be much closer to the truth.

But not a single one of those scenarios included her offering to carry the baby herself. And as far as he was concerned, that wasn’t an option.

Admittedly he had approached Katy first because he figured she would be easily manipulated, but sweet little Katy had an edge now. She was a lot tougher than she used to be. And she was right about his lawyer’s advice. If there were a legal battle over the issue of the embryos, he would win. But it could drag on for years. He didn’t want to wait that long. He was ready now. And though allowing her to be the surrogate would significantly ease any opposition from her family, he could see an entire new series of problems arise as a result.

“I can’t ask you to do that,” he told her.

“You didn’t ask. I offered.”

“I’m not sure if you fully understand the sacrifice it will be. Physically and emotionally.”

“I have friends who have gone through pregnancies, so I know exactly what to expect.”

“I imagine that knowing a pregnant person and being one are two very different things.”

“I want to do it, Adam.”

He could see that, but the idea had trouble written all over it. In every language.

He tried a different angle. “How will your … ‘significant other’ feel about this?”

“That won’t be an issue. I see Willy Jenkins occasionally, but he isn’t what I would call significant. We’re more like … friends with benefits, if you know what I mean.”

He did, and for some ridiculous reason he wanted to string this Jenkins guy up by his toes. To him she would always be Rebecca’s baby sister. Little Katy.

But Katy was a grown woman. Twenty-seven or -eight, if memory served. It was none of his business who she was friends with.

Or why.

“The process could take a year,” he told her. “Longer if it takes more than one try. What if you meet someone?”

“Who the heck am I going to meet? Peckins has a population of eight hundred. Most of the men in town I’ve known since kindergarten. If I was going to fall madly in love with one of them, I’d have done it by now.”

He tried a different angle. “Have you thought of the physical toll it could take on your body?”

“Look who you’re talking to,” she said, gesturing to her casual clothing, the ash-blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. “I’m not like Rebecca. I don’t obsess about my weight, or worry about things like stretch marks. And you won’t find anyone more responsible. I don’t smoke or take drugs, not even over-the-counter pain relievers. I have an occasional beer, but beyond that I don’t drink, so giving it up isn’t a problem. Not to mention that I’m healthy as horse. And my doctor never fails to point out at my annual physical that I have a body built for childbearing.”

She certainly did. She had the figure of a fifties pinup model. A time when women looked like women, not pre-pubescent boys. In his opinion Rebecca had always been too obsessed with her weight and her looks, as though she thought he would love her less if she didn’t look perfect 100 percent of the time. Even during chemo she never failed to drag herself out of bed to put on makeup. And when she could no longer get out of bed, she had the nurse do it for her.

The familiar stab of pain he felt when he thought of her that way pierced the shell around his heart from the inside out.

Katy surprised him by reaching across the table and taking his hand. What surprised him even more was the tingling sensation that started in his fingers and worked its way up his arm. Her hands were a little rough from working on the ranch, but her skin was warm. Her nails were bare, but clean and neatly trimmed. Everything about her was very … natural.

Which was more than he could say for this situation, and the odd, longing sensation deep in his gut.

“Adam, you know as well as I do that despite all the background checks you can do, there’s no one you could trust as much as me.”

He hated to admit it—she was right. Despite their very complicated past and feelings of resentment over Becca, Katy would never do anything to put her sister’s child in harm’s way. But she could use the opportunity to try to manipulate him, and he never put himself in a position to lose the upper hand. Not professionally, and especially not personally.

Not anymore.

But this was the welfare of his child they were discussing. Wasn’t it his obligation as a father to put his child first, to make its health and well-being his number-one priority?

Katy squeezed his hand so tight he started to lose sensation in his fingers, and they were beginning to get curious glances from his employees.

He gently extracted his hand from hers. “Look, Katy—”

“Please, Adam. Please let me do this.” She paused, her eyes pleading, then said, “You know it’s what Becca would have wanted.”

Ouch. That was a low blow, and she knew how to hit where it really stung. The worst part was that she was right. Didn’t he owe it to Becca to let Katy do this for them? For the baby? Wasn’t he partially to blame for Becca losing touch with her family in the first place?

“Though it’s against my better judgment, and I would like to run it past my attorney before I give you a definitive answer … I’m inclined to say yes.”

Her expression was a combination of relief and gratitude. “Thank you, Adam. I promise, you won’t regret this.”

Impossible, since he regretted it already.

Katy left soon after, and Adam headed back up to his office, feeling conflicted.

On one hand he could see the benefits of choosing Katy as a surrogate. In theory, it was an ideal arrangement. But he knew from experience that things did not always go as planned, and what may seem “ideal” one day could swiftly be come a disaster the next.

Before he made any decisions, he would speak with his attorney.

His assistant, Bren, stopped him as he walked past her desk to his office. “Senator Lyons called while you were gone. He said he’ll be out of the office the rest of the day but he’ll call you back tomorrow.”

“Did he say what he wanted?”

“My guess would be a campaign contribution. Isn’t he up for reelection?”

“You’re probably right.”

“Also, Mr. Suarez needs to see you when you have a minute.”

“Call down to his office and tell him now would be good,” he told her. It was doubtful he would be able to concentrate on work anyway. Too much on his mind.

He stepped into his office, stopped at the wet bar to pour himself a scotch, then sat behind his desk and booted his computer.

“Hey, boss.”

He looked up to find Emilio Suarez, Western Oil CFO, standing in his open doorway.

Western Oil was in dire financial straits when Adam inherited it from his father, and Emilio’s financial genius had brought it back from the brink of ruin. Though he was from a Puerto Rican family of modest means, through grants and scholarships Emilio had graduated college at the top of his class, which was what had caught Adam’s attention when he was looking for a management team. Emilio had become an irreplaceable employee—not to mention a good friend—and worth every penny of his ridiculously exorbitant salary.

Adam gestured him inside. “You wanted to talk to me?”

He came in, shutting the door behind him, and stopped to pour himself a drink. “I got an interesting call from my brother today.”

“The federal prosecutor, the one in Europe or the other brother?”

The “other” brother was the family black sheep. A drifter who only called when he needed something. Money usually. For bail, or to pay off loan sharks.

“The prosecutor,” he said, taking a seat opposite Adam’s desk. “And if anyone asks, you did not hear this from me.”

“Of course.”

“You know Leonard Betts?”

“By reputation only.” He was a financial wizard and according to Forbes, the richest man in Texas. It had been said that everything he touched turned to gold.

“You ever invest with him?” Emilio asked.

He shook his head. “He always seemed a little too successful, if you know what I mean. Either he’s extremely lucky—and luck can run out—or he’s shady.”

“You’ve got good instincts. According to Alejandro, he’s been under investigation by the SEC, and it’s looking like he and his wife will be arrested and charged for a Ponzi scheme.”

Adam shook his head in disbelief. “His wife, too?”

“And her parents. Or at least, her mother. Her father died a few years ago.”

“So it was a family business.”

“I guess. I just thought I should warn you that, although it’s unlikely, there’s the slightest possibility that when the media gets wind of this, my name may come up.”

Adam sat straighter in his seat. “You’ve invested with him?”

“No! No, my market is real estate. This is more of personal connection.”

Adam frowned, not sure he was liking what he was hearing. It would be in the company’s best interest to stay as far removed as possible from this scandal. “How personal?”

“In college, I was engaged to Isabelle Winthrop. Betts’s wife.”

Adam’s jaw nearly fell. Emilio had never mentioned knowing her, much less being engaged to her. Or anyone for that matter. He was so fiercely against the entire institution of marriage, Adam wouldn’t have guessed that he would have been planning a trip to the altar with any woman. “I had no idea.”

“She dumped me for Betts two weeks before we planned to elope.”

“Damn. I’m really sorry, Emilio.”

Emilio shrugged. “Honestly, she did me a favor. We were young and stupid. We would have been divorced in a year.”

Something in his eyes told Adam he was making light of an otherwise painful situation. But he didn’t push the issue. If Emilio wanted to talk about it, he knew Adam was there for him.

“There’s no doubt she was a gold digger, but I’ll be honest, I never imagined her capable of helping Leonard bilk his clients out of millions of dollars.”

“Well, if your name does come up, we’ll use Cassandra.”

Cassandra Benson was Western Oil’s public relations director. For her, media spin was an art form. If properly motivated, she could make climate change sound environmentally beneficial.

“So,” Emilio said, leaning back in his chair and taking a swallow of his drink. “What’s this I hear about you and a mystery woman?”

“Wow, good news travels fast.” He should have taken Katy up to his office. It was just that the coffee shop seemed more … neutral. He should have known better and met her somewhere off campus and far from the building. Like California.

“The CEO can’t sit in the company coffee shop holding hands with a woman no one has seen before, and expect it to go unnoticed.”

“Well, she’s not a mystery woman. She’s my sister-in-law. And we weren’t holding hands. We were talking.”

“I thought you didn’t see Becca’s family any longer.”

“I haven’t in a long time. But something has come up.”

“Is everything okay?”

Up until today, Adam hadn’t talked to anyone but his attorney and the fertility doctor about his baby plan, but he knew he could trust Emilio to keep it quiet. So he told him, and his reaction was about what Adam would have expected.

“Wow,” Emilio said, shaking his head in disbelief. “I didn’t even know you wanted kids. I mean, I knew that you and Rebecca were trying, but I had no idea you would want to be a single father.”

“It’s something I’ve wanted for a while. It just feels like the right time to me. And since I don’t plan to get married again …” He shrugged. “Surrogacy seems to be my best option.”

“Why the meeting with Becca’s sister … I’m sorry, I don’t recall her name.”

“Katherine … Katy. I called her as a courtesy, and on the advice of my attorney.”

“So, what did she say?”

“She wants to be the surrogate.”

One brow rose. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. In fact, she was pretty adamant about it. She claims that she’s the only person I can trust.”

“Do you trust her?”

“I believe that she would never do anything to harm Becca’s baby.”

“But …”

“Katy seems very … headstrong. If I hire someone, I’ll be calling the shots. Katy on the other hand is in a position to make things very complicated.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you tell her no, she could make things complicated, too.”

“Exactly.”

“So you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”

“More or less.” And he didn’t like being backed into a corner.

“So what did you tell her?”

“That I had to talk to my attorney.”

“You hear so many horror stories about surrogacy agreements going bad. Just a few weeks ago Alejandro was telling me about a case in New Mexico. A couple hired a surrogate to carry their baby. She was Hispanic, and halfway through the pregnancy moved back to Mexico and dropped off the map. Unfortunately the law is in her favor.”

Adam had heard similar cautionary tales.

“I think, if you have someone you can trust, let her do it,” Emilio said.

He would make the call to his attorney, to check on the legalities of it and his rights as the father, but Emilio was right. Choosing Katy just made the most sense. And ultimately the benefits would outweigh the negatives.

He hoped.

Three

What the hell was he doing here?

The limo pitched and swayed up the pitted, muddy gravel road that led to the Huntley’s cattle ranch, and Adam lunged to keep the documents he’d been reading on the ride up from sliding off the leather seat and scattering to the floor.

His driver and bodyguard, Reece, would have to take a trip to the car wash as soon as they got back to El Paso, Adam realized as he gazed out the mud-splattered window. At least the torrential rain they’d encountered an hour ago had let up and now there was nothing but blue sky for miles.

As they bounced forward up the drive, Adam could see that not much had changed in the four years since he’d last been here. The house, a typical, sprawling and rustic ranch, was older, but well maintained. Pastures with grazing cattle stretched as far as the eye could see.

The ranch had been in their family for five generations. A tradition Becca had had no interest in carrying on. As far as she had been concerned, Katy could have it all.

And now she would.

The limo rolled to a stop by the front porch steps and Reece got out to open his door. As he did, a wall of hot, damp air engulfed the cool interior, making the leather feel instantly sticky to the touch.

This meeting had been Katy’s idea, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. Not that he disliked his former in-laws. He just had nothing in common with them. However, if they were going to be involved in his child’s life, the least he could do was make an effort to be cordial. According to Katy, the news of his plan to use the embryos had come as a shock to them, but knowing Katy would be the surrogate had softened the blow. And since a meeting with his attorney last week, when he and Katy signed a surrogacy agreement, it was official. With any luck, nine months from her next ovulation cycle she would be having his and Becca’s baby.

After months of consideration and planning, it was difficult to believe that it was finally happening. That after years of longing to have a child, he finally had his chance. And despite Katy and her parents’ concerns, he would be a good father. Unlike his own father, who had been barely more than a ghost after Adam’s mother passed away. Adam spent most of his childhood away at boarding schools, or in summer camps. The only decent thing his father had ever done was leave him Western Oil when he died. And though it had taken several years of hard work, Adam had pulled it back from the brink of death.

“Sir?”

Adam looked up and realized Reece was standing by the open car door, waiting for him to climb out.

“Everything okay, sir?” he asked.

“Fine.” May as well get this over with, he thought, climbing from the back of the car into the sticky heat.

“Hey, stranger,” he heard someone call from the vicinity of the barn, and looked over to see Katy walking toward him. She was dressed for work, her thick, leather gloves and boots caked with mud. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and as she got closer he saw that there was a smudge of dirt on her left cheek. For some odd reason he felt the urge to reach up and rub it clean.

He looked her up and down and asked, “Am I early? I was sure you said four o’clock.”

“No, you’re right on time. The rain set us back in our chores a bit, that’s all.” She followed his gaze down her sweat-soaked shirt and mud-splattered jeans and said apologetically, “I’d hug you, but I’m a little filthy.”

Filthy or not, he wasn’t the hug type. “I’ll settle for a handshake.”

She tugged off her glove and wiped her hand on the leg of her jeans before extending it to him. Her skin was hot and clammy, her grip firm. She turned to Reece and introduced herself. “Katherine Huntley, but everyone calls me Katy.”

He warily accepted her outstretched hand. He wasn’t used to being acknowledged, much less greeted so warmly. Adam recalled that the hired help had always been regarded as family on the Huntley ranch. “Reece Wilson, ma’am.”

“It’s a scorcher. Would you like to come inside with us?” she asked, gesturing to the house. “Have something cold to drink?”

“No, thank you, ma’am.”

“If you’re worried about your car,” she said with a grin, “I promise no one will steal it.”

Was she actually flirting with his driver? “He’s fine,” Adam said. “And we have a lot to discuss.”

Her smile dissolved and there was disapproval in her tone when she said, “Well, then, come on in.”

He followed her up the steps to the porch, where she kicked off her muddy boots before opening the door and gesturing him inside. A small vestibule opened up into the great room and to the left were the stairs leading to the second floor.

The furniture was still an eclectic mix of styles and eras. Careworn, but comfortable. The only modern addition he could see was the large, flat-screen television over the fireplace. Not much else had changed. Not that he’d been there so often he would notice small differences. He could count on two hands how many times they had visited in the seven years he and Becca were married. Not that he hadn’t wanted to, despite what Katy and her parents believed.

“My parents wanted to be here to greet you, but they were held up at a cattle auction in Bellevue,” Katy told him. “They should be back within the hour.”

He had hoped to get this business out of the way, so he could return to El Paso at a decent hour. Though it was Friday, he had a long workday ahead of him tomorrow.

“Would you like a cold drink?” she asked. “Iced tea or lemonade?”

“Whatever is easiest.”

Katy turned toward the door leading to the kitchen and hollered, “Elvie! You in there?”

Several seconds passed, then the door slid open several inches and a timid looking Hispanic girl who couldn’t have been a day over sixteen peered out. When she saw Adam standing there her eyes widened, then lowered shyly, and she said in a thick accent, “Sí, Ms. Katy.”

“Elvie, this is Mr. Blair. Could you please fetch him something cold to drink, and take something out to his driver, too?”

She nodded and slipped silently back into the kitchen.

Katy looked down at her filthy clothes. “I’m a mess. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to hop into a quick shower and get cleaned up.”

“By all means.” It wasn’t as if he was going anywhere. Until her parents returned he was more or less stuck there.

“I’ll just be a few minutes. Make yourself at home.”

She left him there and headed up the stairs. With nothing to do but wait, Adam walked over to the hearth, where frame after frame of family photos sat. Adam had very few photos of his own family, and only one of his mother.

In his father’s grief, he’d taken down all the pictures of Adam’s mother after her death and stored them with the other family antiques and keepsakes in the attic of his El Paso estate. A few years later, when Adam was away at school and his father traveling in Europe, faulty wiring started a fire and the entire main house burned to the ground. Taking whatever was left of his mother with it.

At the time it was just one more reason in an ever-growing list to hate his father. When Adam got the call that he’d died, he hadn’t talked to the old man in almost five years.

He leaned in to get a closer look at a photo of Becca that had been taken at her high school graduation. She looked so young. So full of promise. He’d met her only a few years later. Her college roommate was the daughter of a family friend and Becca had accompanied them to his home for a cocktail party. Though Adam had been a decade older, he’d found her completely irresistible, and it was obvious the attraction was mutual. Though it had been against his better judgment, he asked her out, and was genuinely surprised when she declined. Few women had ever rejected his advances.

She found him attractive, she said, but needed to focus all her energy on school. She had a plan, she’d told him, a future to build, and she wouldn’t stray from that. Which made him respect her even more.

But he wasn’t used to taking no for an answer, either, so he’d persisted, and finally she agreed to one date. But only as friends. He took her to dinner and the theater. She hadn’t even kissed him goodnight, but as he drove home, he knew that he would eventually marry her. She was everything he wanted in a wife.

They saw each other several times before she finally let him kiss her, and held out for an excruciating three months before she would sleep with him. He wouldn’t say that first time had been a disappointment, exactly. It had just taken a while to get everything working smoothly. Their sex life had never been what he would call smoking hot anyway. It was more … comfortable. Besides, their relationship had been based more on respect than sex. And he preferred it that way.

They were seeing each other almost six months before she admitted her humble background—not that it had made a difference to him—and it wasn’t until they became engaged a year later that she finally introduced him to her family.

After months of hearing complaints about her family, and how backward and primitive ranch life was, he’d half expected to meet the modern equivalent of the Beverly Hillbillies, but her parents were both educated, intelligent people. He never really understood why she resented them so. Her family seemed to adore her, yet she always made excuses why they shouldn’t visit, and the longer she stayed away, the more her resentment seemed to grow. He had tried to talk to her about it, tried to reason with her, but she would always change the subject.

Elvie appeared in the kitchen doorway holding a glass of lemonade. Eyes wary, she stepped into the room and walked toward the sofa. He took a step in her direction to take the glass from her, and she reacted as if he’d raised a hand to strike her. She set the drink down on the coffee table with a loud clunk then scurried back across the room and through the kitchen door.

“Thank you,” he said to her retreating form. He hoped she was a better housekeeper than a conversationalist. He picked up the icy glass and raised it to his lips, but some of the lemonade had splashed over and it dripped onto the lapel of his suit jacket.

Damn it. There was nothing he hated more than stains on his clothes. He looked around for something to blot it up, so it didn’t leave a permanent mark. He moved toward the kitchen, to ask Elvie for a cloth or towel, but given her reaction to him, he might scare her half to death if he so much as stepped through the door. He opted for the second floor bathroom instead, which he vaguely recalled to be somewhere along the upstairs hallway.

He headed up the stairs and when he reached the top step a grayish-brown ball of fur appeared from nowhere and wrapped itself around his ankles, nearly tripping him. He caught the banister to keep from tumbling backward.

Timid housekeepers and homicidal cats. What could he possibly encounter next?

He gave the feline a gentle shove with the toe of his Italian-leather shoe, which he noticed was dotted with mud, and shooed it away. It meowed in protest and darted to one of the closed doors, using its weight to shove it open. Wondering if that could be the bathroom he was searching for, he crossed the hall and peered inside. But it wasn’t the bathroom. It was Katy’s room. She stood beside the bed, wearing nothing but a bath towel, her hair damp and hanging down her back.

Damn.

She didn’t seem to notice him there so he opened his mouth to say something, to warn her of his presence, but it was too late. Before he could utter a sound, she tugged the towel loose and dropped it to the wood floor.

And his jaw nearly went with it. He tried to look away, knew he should look away, but the message wasn’t making it to his brain.

Her breasts were high and plump, the kind made just for cupping, with small, pale pink nipples any man would love to get his lips around. Her hips were the perfect fullness for her height. In fact, she was perfectly proportioned. Becca had been rail thin and petite. Almost nymph-like. Katy was built like a woman.

Then his eyes slipped lower and he saw that she clearly was a natural blonde.

It had been a long time since he’d seen a woman naked, so the sudden caveman urge he was feeling to put his hands on her was understandable. But this was Katy. His wife’s baby sister.

The thing is, she was no baby.

A droplet of water leaked from her hair and rolled down the generous swell of her breast. He watched, mesmerized as it caught on the crest of her nipple, wondering if it felt even half as erotic as it looked.

Katy cleared her throat, and Adam realized that at some point during his gawking she had realized he was there. He lifted his eyes to hers and saw that she was watching him watch her.

Rather than berate him or try to cover herself—or both, since neither would be unexpected at this point—she just stood there wearing a look that asked what the heck he thought he was doing.

Why the hell wasn’t she covering herself? Was she an exhibitionist or something? Or maybe the more appropriate question was, why was he still looking?

She planted her hands on her hips, casual as can be, and asked. “Was there something you needed?”

He had to struggle to keep his eyes on hers, when they naturally wanted to stray back down to her breasts. “I was looking for the bathroom, then there was this cat, and it opened your door.”

“Right.”

“This was an accident.” A very unfortunate, wonderful accident.

“If that’s true, then I think at this point the gentlemanly thing to do would be to turn around. Don’t you?”

“Of course. Sorry.” He swiftly turned his back to her. What the hell was wrong with him? He never got flustered, but right now he was acting like a sex-starved adolescent. She must have thought he was either a pervert, or a complete moron. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn’t thinking. I was … surprised. I apologize.”

“Try two doors down on the right,” she said from behind him, closer now. So close he was sure that if he turned, he could reach out and touch her. He pictured himself doing just that. He imagined the weight of her breast in his palm, the taste of her lips as he pressed his mouth to hers… .

He nearly groaned, the sudden ache in his crotch was so intense. What the hell was the matter with him? “Two doors down?”

“The bathroom. You were looking for it, right?”

“Right,” he said, barely getting the words out without his voice cracking. He forced his feet forward.

Since Becca’s death he’d barely thought about sex, but now it would seem that his libido had lurched into overdrive.

“And, Adam?” she added.

He paused, but didn’t dare turn back around. “Yes?”

“For the record, if you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask.”

Four

Oh, good Lord in heaven.

Katy closed her bedroom door and leaned against it, heart throbbing in her chest, legs as weak as a newborn calf’s. The sudden and unexpected heat at the apex of her thighs … heaven help her, she might actually self-combust. It was as unexpected as it was mortifying.

The way Adam had looked at her, the fire in his eyes … she couldn’t even recall the last time a man had looked at her that way. Hell, she wasn’t sure if anyone ever had.

She pinched her eyes shut and squeezed her legs together, willing it away, but that only made it worse. An adolescent crush was one thing, but this? It couldn’t be more wrong. Or inappropriate. He was her brother-in-law. Her sister’s husband. The father of the child she would eventually be carrying.

Not to mention that she didn’t even like him. He was overbearing and arrogant, and generally not a very nice person.

At least she knew that he wasn’t lying about seeing her being an accident. Her bedroom door didn’t latch correctly and her cat, Sylvester, was always letting himself in. If she had known Adam was going to be wandering around upstairs she would have been more careful. And maybe making that crack about Adam only having to ask wasn’t her smartest move, but she refused to let him know how rattled she was.

Not that she was ashamed of the way she looked. As bodies went, hers wasn’t half-bad. She just never planned on Adam ever seeing it. Not outside of the delivery room anyway.

She just hoped he never took her up on her offer.

Of course he wouldn’t! He was no more interested in her than she was in him. Not only were they ex in-laws, but they were polar opposites. They didn’t share a single thing in common as far as she could tell. Except maybe sexual attraction. But that was fleeting, and superficial. Like her on-again off-again relationship with Willy Jenkins used to be. He was a pretty good kisser, and fun under the covers, but he wasn’t known for his stimulating conversation. As her best friend Missy would say, he was nice to visit, but she wouldn’t want to live there.

Not that Katy would be “visiting” Adam. She would have to be pretty hard up to sleep with a man she had no affection for. She couldn’t imagine ever being that desperate.

She heard a vehicle out front and peered through the curtains to see her parents’ truck pull up in front of the barn. Well, shoot! Now she had to go out there and act like nothing happened. Which technically it hadn’t.

She yanked on clean jeans and a T-shirt and pulled her damp hair back in a ponytail. As she tugged on her cowboy boots she heard the side kitchen door slam, then the muffled sound of voices from the great room below. She had talked Adam into this visit, so it didn’t seem fair making him face her parents alone. And at the same time, she was dreading this. She didn’t like to play the role of the mediator. That had always been her mother’s thing.

In the week since she had talked Adam into letting her be the surrogate, Katy had been working on convincing her parents that she was doing the right thing, and that they were going to have to trust Adam. She just hoped that seeing him face-to-face didn’t bring back a flood of the old resentment.

At first, when they learned that Becca was engaged, besides being stunned that she’d never mentioned a steady man in her life, her parents had been truly excited about having a son-in-law. But from the minute they met Adam it was obvious he came from a different world. And as hard as they tried to be accepting, to welcome him to the family, it seemed he always held something back. Her parents interpreted it as Adam thinking he was better than them, even though he had always been gracious enough not to condescend, or treat them with anything but respect.

At first Katy had given him the benefit of the doubt. She wanted to believe that he was as amazing as her sister described. But when he and Becca visited less and less, and Katy realized just how hard Becca had to work to keep him happy, she’d had to face the truth. Adam was an arrogant, controlling and critical husband.

But Katy wasn’t doing this for him. She was doing it for Becca, and her parents, and most of all the baby. Which made what just happened between them seem wholly insignificant. It was a fluke, that’s all. One that would never happen again.

She headed down the stairs to the great room. Her parents sat stiffly on the sofa and Adam looked just as uncomfortable on the love seat opposite them. When she entered the room everyone turned, looking relieved to see her.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she told Adam, and his expression gave away no hint of their earlier … confrontation. Although he might have snuck a quick look at her breasts.

“Your parents and I have had a chance to get reacquainted,” he said, and from the vibe in the room, Katy could guess it hadn’t exactly gone well.

So as not to be antagonistic and give anyone the impression she was taking sides, she sat by neither her parents nor Adam, but instead on the hearth between them.

The contrast was staggering. Adam looked cool and confident in his suit, like he was ready to negotiate a milliondollar deal, while her parents looked like … well, like they always had. Her father had gotten a little paunchy over the past few years, and his salt-and-pepper hair was thinning at his temples, but he still looked pretty good for a man of sixty-two. And as far as Katy was concerned, her mother, fifty-nine on her next birthday, was as beautiful as she’d been at sixteen. She was still tall, slender and graceful with the face of an angel. She wore her gray-streaked, pale blond hair in loose waves that hung to just above her waist, or at times pulled back in a braid.

She was a perpetually happy person, always preferring to see the glass not only as half full, but the ideal temperature, as well. But now creases of concern bracketed her eyes.

“I was just telling Adam how surprised we were when we heard of his plans,” her father said, and his tone clearly said he didn’t like it much.

Katy’s mom rested a hand on his knee then told Adam, “But we’re hoping you can convince us that you’ve thought this through, and taken our family into consideration.”

Katy bit her lip, praying that Adam’s first reaction wasn’t to get defensive. What had he told Katy that day in the coffee shop? That he wasn’t seeking anyone’s approval or permission? But he had to expect this, didn’t he? He had to know her parents would be wary. That was the whole point of his visit. To set their minds at ease.

Or maybe he didn’t see it that way. Maybe he truly didn’t give a damn what they thought.

“As I told Katy, I have no intention of keeping the child from you,” he assured them, in a tone that showed no hint of impatience, and Katy went limp with relief. “You’ll be his or her only grandparents. In fact, I think that spending time on the ranch will be an enriching experience.”

“I’m also not sure I like the idea of Katy being your surrogate,” her father added, and suddenly everyone looked at her.

“I have my concerns as well, Mr. Huntley. But she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“I think we all know how stubborn she can be,” her father said, talking about her as though she wasn’t sitting right there. “I’d like to see her concentrate on finding a husband, and having kids of her own.”

She was so sick of that tired old argument. Just because practically every other woman in her family married young and immediately started squeezing out babies, that didn’t mean it was right for her.

“I’m not ready for a husband or kids,” she told her father. Or more accurately, they weren’t ready for her. Every time she thought she’d found Mr. Right, he turned out to be Mr. Right Now, then inevitably became Mr. Last Week. She was beginning to suspect that these men who kept breaking her heart knew something she didn’t. Like maybe she just wasn’t marriage material.

“You might feel differently when you meet the right man,” he countered. “And besides, I don’t think you realize how hard this will be. And what if, God forbid, something happens, then you can’t have kids of your own? You could regret it the rest of your life.”

“What if I walk out the door and get hit by lightning?” she snapped. “Do you expect me to stop going outside?”

He cast her a stern look, and she bit her tongue.

“Gabe,” her mother said gently. “You know that my pregnancies were completely uneventful. And Katy has always been just like me. She’ll do fine. You have to admit it will be nice to have a grandbaby.” Moisture welled in the corners of her eyes. “To have a part of Rebecca with us.”

“I assure you that Katy will have the best prenatal care available,” Adam told them. “We won’t let anything happen to her.”

The way he hadn’t let anything happen to Becca?

The question hung between them unspoken. It was hard not to blame Adam for Becca’s death. Though he had done everything within his power to save her. She had seen the best doctors, received the most effective, groundbreaking treatment money could buy. Unfortunately it hadn’t been enough.

If she hadn’t insisted they harvest the damned eggs …

“What about multiples?” her father asked. “She’s not going to be like that octo-mom and have eight babies.”

“Absolutely not. The doctor has already made it clear that for a woman Katy’s age, with no prior fertility issues, he won’t implant more that two embryos at a time. And if Katy is uncomfortable with the idea of carrying twins, we’ll only implant one. It’s her call.”

“But the odds are better if they implant two?” Katy asked.

“Yes.”

“So we’ll do two.”

“You’re sure?” Adam asked. “Maybe you should take some more time to think about it.”

“I don’t need time. I’m sure.”

“Could you imagine that?” her mother said. “Two grandbabies!”

“I still don’t like it,” her father said, then he looked at his wife and his expression softened. “But it wouldn’t be the first time the women in this family have overruled me.”

“So it’s settled,” Katy said, before he could change his mind, with a finality that she hoped stuck this time.

“When will this happen?” Katy’s mom asked.

“We have an appointment with a fertility specialist next Wednesday,” Adam told her. “First he has to do a full exam and determine if she’s healthy enough to become pregnant. Then he’ll determine the optimal time for the implantation.”

“So if everything looks good, it could be soon,” Katy said, feeling excited. “I could be pregnant as soon as next month.”

“And if it doesn’t work?” her father asked.

“We try again,” Adam said. “If we do two embryos at a time, we can do three implantations.”

“It sounds so simple,” her mother said, but Katy knew things like this were never as simple as they sounded. That didn’t mean they weren’t worth doing.

“And if none of them take?” Katy asked.

“I’ll consider adoption.”

“We appreciate you coming all the way out here to talk to us,” her mother said. “I know it’s eased my mind.”

Adam looked at his watch. “But I should be going. I need to get back to El Paso.”

“But you just got here,” Katy said, surprised that after such a long drive he would want to get back on the road so soon. Was he really so uncomfortable there that he couldn’t stick around for a couple of hours? What would he do when the baby was born? Would they always be coming to him?

“The least we can do is feed you supper,” her mother said.

“I appreciate the offer, but I have an important meeting Monday that I need to prepare for. Maybe some other time.”

They all knew those were just polite words. There wouldn’t be another time. He wouldn’t be coming back if he could possibly avoid it.

Katy rose to her feet. “I’ll walk you out.”

He said a somewhat stiff goodbye to her parents, then followed Katy out the front door. The moist heat was almost suffocating as they stepped out onto the porch. Adam’s driver had taken refuge in the limo and was reading a newspaper, but when he saw them emerge he swiftly opened his door and got out. Katy turned to Adam, thinking that he had to be roasting in his suit and anxious to get back into the cool car.

“Thanks again for coming all the way out here. And thanks for being so patient with my father.” It had to be doubly weird for him, trying to convince her parents she would be a good surrogate, when he himself still had doubts.

“It wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be. Knowing your father holds me responsible for Becca’s death, I realize it can’t be easy for him to entrust me with the care of his only living child.”

“Why would you think that?” she asked, although for the life of her she didn’t know why she gave a damn what he believed.

He gave her a “spare me” look. “Not that I blame him. I should have been able to save her.”

“Sounds like maybe it’s you who holds you responsible.”

If her words bothered him, he didn’t let on. “I’ve made my peace with Becca’s death.”

“Your actions would suggest otherwise, Adam.”

He looked at her for a second, like he might say something else, something snarky, then he seemed to change his mind.

He turned and walked down the steps. Reece opened the rear car door, but before he got in, Adam turned back to her.

“By the way, I wanted to apologize again, for what happened upstairs.”

She folded her arms under her breasts. “You mean when you stared at me while I was naked?”

Reece’s eyes widened for an instant, before he caught himself and wiped the surprised look off his face. And if she’d embarrassed Adam—which was the whole point—he didn’t let it show. Was he a robot or something? Devoid of human feelings?

“Yes, that,” he said.

She shrugged. “It’s been stared at before.”

“Don’t forget we have an appointment with Dr. Meyer on Wednesday at 3:00 p.m.”

She snorted. “Like I could forget that.”

“I’ll see you Wednesday,” he said and she could swear he almost smiled. She found herself wishing he would, so he would seem more … human. Maybe he forgot how.

He may have been an overbearing, arrogant, narcissistic jerk, but that didn’t mean he deserved to be unhappy. Although he hadn’t looked unhappy earlier, when he was standing in her bedroom doorway. He looked like he wanted to throw her down on the bed and have his way with her, which, let’s face it, was never going to happen.

He got in the car, and Reece closed the door. Katy waved as they pulled down the driveway. The windows were tinted so she couldn’t tell if Adam was watching, but she had the feeling he was. When they turned onto the road and disappeared out of sight, she crossed the porch to the side door around the corner … and almost plowed into her mom, who was pulling on her mucking boots.

Katy squeaked in surprise and skidded to a stop, hoping she hadn’t heard that comment about Adam seeing her naked.

“Going out to the barn?” she asked brightly. A little too brightly if her mother’s wry expression was any indication.

“Be careful, Katy,” she said and it was obvious she had heard. “When you fall, it’s hard and fast.”

Fall? For Adam? Ugh. Not in a million years. She had clearly taken what was said completely out of context. “It’s not what you think. He was looking for the bathroom and saw me getting dressed. It was an accident. What I said just now, that was only to embarrass him.”

She didn’t look convinced. “I know you always had a bit of a crush on him.”

“For pity’s sake! When I was a kid. Not only do I not have a crush, but I don’t even like him.”

“He’s not like us, Katy.”

Didn’t she know it. “You’re preaching to the choir, Mom.”

“I just want you to consider this carefully. When you’re pregnant, and your hormones are all out of whack, those emotional lines can get … fuzzy.”

“I’m not going to fall for Adam. It’s not even a remote possibility.”

She didn’t look like she believed Katy, but she let it drop.

The idea of her and Adam in a relationship was beyond ridiculous. Her mother had to know that.

Or was she seeing something that Katy wasn’t?

Five

Adam met Katy at the doctor’s office Wednesday as planned. She got there first, and as he walked into the lobby he was a bit taken aback when he saw her. In fact, until she smiled and waved, he didn’t even realize it was her. Dressed in a white-cotton peasant blouse and a caramel-colored ankle-length skirt, she looked like … a woman. She’d even traded in the her usual ponytail for soft, loose ringlets that framed her face and draped across her shoulders. Even he couldn’t deny that the effect was breathtaking.

He had always considered her attractive, but now she looked … well, frankly, she looked hot.

It was only the third time in his life that he’d seen her wear anything but jeans and boots. The first was his wedding, and the second Becca’s funeral, but neither time had he been paying attention to how she looked. Was it possible that she’d always looked this blatantly sexy and he’d just never noticed? And today, he wasn’t the only one. Heads were turning as she walked past, eyes following her with obvious appreciation. But he knew something they didn’t. He knew that as good as she looked in her clothes, she looked even better out of them.

A fact he’d been trying to forget all week.

Katy on the other hand seemed oblivious to the looks she was getting, as though she didn’t have even the slightest idea how pretty she was. Or more likely, didn’t care either way. He’d never met a woman so casual about her self-image. As evidenced, he realized with a tug of humor, by the fact that under the skirt she was wearing cowboy boots.

He could take the woman out of the country, but not the country out of the woman.

“You’re early,” he said as she approached him.

“I know, I didn’t want to risk being late,” she told him, then added, as if she thought he wouldn’t notice on his own, “I wore my girl clothes.”

“So you did.”

“I’m really nervous.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine.” He looked at his watch and said, “We should probably get upstairs.”

Though he had resigned himself to the idea of her being the surrogate and had for the most part convinced himself it was for the best, deep down he half hoped the doctor would find some reason to deem her an inappropriate candidate for the procedure. But after a thorough examination, Katy was given a clean bill of health. And like her own physician, Dr. Meyer even went so far as to comment that her body was ideal for childbearing. So there was definitely no turning back now.

It was a done deal.

After a consultation with the doctor in his office, where he explained the procedure in great detail, they made an appointment for the following week to have two embryos implanted.

“Are you nervous?” Katy asked him as they walked back down to the lobby together.

He shrugged.

“Oh, come on, you have to be at least a little nervous.”

“I guess.” After waiting so long for this, the process did seem to be moving very quickly. “How about you? Are you having second thoughts?”

“Not at all. I’m just really excited. I can hardly believe it’s next week. I thought it would take months.”

“It won’t be a problem, you leaving the ranch for a couple of days?”

“They can get by without me. But I was thinking, because I’ll be on bed rest for twenty-four hours after the transfer, maybe you could recommend a hotel.”

Did she honestly think he would let her stay alone in a hotel? Not only would that be rude and insensitive of him, he wanted her close by, so he could keep an eye on her and make sure she followed the doctor’s orders to the letter. They had three shots at this. He didn’t want anything going wrong.

“Nonsense,” he told her. “You’ll stay with me.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

They pushed out the door into the blazing afternoon heat where his car sat at the curb already waiting for him. “Of course I’m sure.”

“In that case, thanks. It’s been years since I’ve been to your house.”

Three years to be exact. The day of Becca’s funeral.

They stopped on the sidewalk near the limo. He really should get back to work, but she’d driven all this way and the least he could do was feed her.

“Why don’t I buy you lunch?”

“I really need to get going,” she said apologetically.

“I’ll probably just swing into the drive-through on my way home.”

She would decline his invitation for something as unpalatable as fast food? Not to mention unhealthy. “Are you sure? There’s a café just around the corner.”

“I promised my folks I would make a few stops for them on the way home, and I don’t want to get back too late. Can I take a rain check?”

“Of course,” he said, though her casual refusal puzzled him. When it came to women, he was usually the one declining offers. And lately there had been plenty of them, no thanks to one of his coworkers who thought Adam had done enough grieving and needed to get back into circulation.

Not that Adam considered Katy a woman. In the relationship sense, that is. In his eyes she was a business associate. One who was looking at him curiously.

“What?”

“If it means that much to you, we can go,” she said.

“Go?”

“To lunch. You looked … I don’t know … disappointed.”

Had he? “No, of course not.”

“You’re sure? Because I can make the time.”

“Of course I’m sure.”

She didn’t look as though she believed him. “I know this has to be tough for you. I mean, as much as you want a child, they’re Becca’s eggs. It must stir up a lot of feelings.” She took a step toward him, reached out and put a hand on his arm. Why did she have to do that? Be so … physical? “If you need someone to talk to—”

“I don’t,” he assured her, his gaze straying to her cleavage. Probably because there was so much of it, and she was standing so close that it was right there, inches from his face. Okay, more than inches, but still.

“Hello!” she said, snapping her fingers in front of his eyes, until he lifted them to hers. “I’m trying to be nice, and all you can do is stare at my boobs? And people wonder why I dress the way I do.”

She was right. That was totally inappropriate. He was acting like he’d never seen breasts before. When not only had he seen breasts, he’d seen hers.

“I apologize,” he said, keeping his eyes on her face. “And no, I don’t need to talk.”

“I just figured you asked me to lunch for a reason.”

“I did. I thought you might be hungry.”

She sighed heavily. “Okay. But I’m here if you change your mind. Just call me.”

“I won’t.”

“You know, it wouldn’t kill you to lighten up a little. You’re so serious all the time. That can’t be healthy.”

“You’ve never seen me at work. I’m a party animal.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure you are.”

“So I’ll see you next week?” he asked, anxious to end this nightmare of a conversation. She seemed to have an annoying way of getting under his skin.

“See you next week.”

She turned and sashayed to her truck, hips swaying, curls bouncing. Anyone looking at her would know, just from the way she walked, that she had attitude.

And suddenly he was picturing her naked again. Wondering what she would have done if he’d stepped into her room, if he had reached for her …

“Sir?” Reece said, and Adam realized he was standing there holding the door open, and he’d heard their entire exchange. “She’s something, huh?”

She was something all right. He just hadn’t quite figured out what.

“She’s really quite beautiful, isn’t she?”

“I guess.”

Reece didn’t say a word, but his expression said he knew his boss was full of it. That any red-blooded heterosexual male would have to be blind not to think she was totally hot. But the last thing Adam needed was for his driver to think he had a thing for his surrogate. Not that he didn’t trust Reece implicitly, but there were certain lines a man did not cross, even hypothetically.

This was definitely one of them.

Katy assumed the week would crawl by, but before she knew it, she was on her way back to El Paso. Adam had called a few days earlier, suggesting she come to stay the night before, so she wouldn’t have to make the two-hour drive before the appointment, but she told him no. As nervous and excited as she knew she would be, sleeping would be tough enough without being in an unfamiliar room, in a strange bed. And for some reason, the thought of sleeping in the same house with Adam made her nervous. Not that she thought he would try something. It just felt … weird. But tonight she didn’t have a choice. She physically couldn’t drive home.

Her mother had offered to drive her to El Paso and stay for the procedure, then drive her directly back. She wasn’t too keen on Katy staying at Adam’s place, either. But the doctor said bed rest, and she couldn’t exactly sack out in the truck bed for the two-hour drive.

Adam still lived in the sprawling, six-bedroom, seven-bath, eight-thousand-square-foot monstrosity Becca had insisted they needed. They could have had a whole brood of children and still had space to spare. And though she loved her sister dearly, and was sure that she had been a very accomplished interior designer, her personal tastes were excessive to say the least, and bordering on gaudy. She didn’t seem to understand the concept of less is more.

Katy pulled up the circle drive and parked by the front door, next to the concrete, cherub-adorned fountain, realizing how utterly out of place her truck looked there.

She grabbed her duffel from the front seat, climbed out and walked to the front entrance, but before she could ring the bell the door swung open. Standing there was Adam’s housekeeper, whom Katy vaguely remembered from the day of Becca’s funeral, an older woman with a gently lined and kind face.

Though Adam seemed the type to insist his staff wear a formal uniform, she was dressed in jeans and a Texas A & M sweatshirt.

She smiled warmly. “Ms. Huntley, so nice to see you again! I’m Celia.”

Katy liked her immediately.

“Hi, Celia.”

“Come in, come in!” She ushered Katy inside, taking the bag before she could protest. The air was filled with the scent of something warm and sweet. “Can you believe how hot it is and it’s barely 10:00 a.m.? Why don’t I show you to your room, then I’ll get you something cold to drink. Are you hungry? I could fix you breakfast.”

“I’m fine, thanks.” She’d been too nervous to force down more than a slice of toast and a glass of juice before she left home. “Is Adam here?”

“He went into the office for a few hours. He’s sending a car for you at ten-thirty.”

She’d been under the impression they would ride to the appointment together, but she should have known he would squeeze in a few hours at the office first. Hadn’t that always been Becca’s biggest complaint? That Adam worked too much. Which begged the question, when would he have time to take care of a baby? But it was a little late to worry about that now.

Celia led Katy across the foyer and either Katy had a skewed recollection of the interior, or Adam had made changes to the decor because it wasn’t nearly as distasteful as she remembered. Considering she had only been here twice before, it was difficult to be sure. In any case, it was very warm and inviting now.

They walked up to the second floor and Celia showed her to one of the spare bedrooms. If Katy was remembering right, the master was at the end of the hall not twenty feet away. She didn’t like that Adam would be in such close proximity, but what could she do, ask to sack out on the living-room couch? At least Celia would be there to act as a buffer.

Besides, she was being silly. She was only staying there because it was convenient. And because, she suspected, Adam didn’t completely trust her to follow the doctor’s instructions, if left to her own devices. She had to admit that being flat on her back for twenty-four hours sounded like the worst kind of torture. She was not an idle person. She didn’t have the patience to sit around doing nothing. But this time she didn’t have a choice.

“This is nice,” Katy said, looking around as Celia set her bag down on the floral duvet. The room was tastefully decorated in creamy pastels. Feminine and inviting without being too frilly.

“There are fresh towels in the bathroom. And if you need anything, anything at all while you’re here, don’t hesitate to ask. I think it’s a very generous thing you’re doing for Adam. Since he decided to do this, it’s the happiest I’ve seen him since he lost Becca. He would deny it if you asked, but the last few years have been very hard on him. I was starting to believe he would never get over her.”

If he loved her that much, why did Becca have to work so hard to keep him happy? she wanted to ask. Why was she always terrified that he would grow bored and leave her for someone else? Maybe Celia wasn’t seeing the whole picture, or hadn’t known Adam long enough to realize what he was really like.

Katy sat on the edge of the bed. “How long have you worked for Adam?”

“Ever since his father passed. But I’ve known him most of his life. I practically raised him. When he wasn’t off at boarding school, that is.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you’d been with the family that long.”

“Going on thirty-two years now. Since Mrs. Blair, Adam’s mother, took ill. I lost my own boy in the Gulf War, so Adam has been like a son to me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Katy said. Losing a child was a sorrow her parents knew all too well.

“I still consider myself blessed. I have two beautiful daughters and five grandchildren between them.”

“What do you think of Adam having a child? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Celia sat down beside her. “I think Adam will be a wonderful father. He lets my grandchildren come over and use the pool, and he’s so good with them. He’s wanted this for a very long time.”

Celia was probably biased, but Katy wanted desperately to believe her. Although, wanting a child, and being good with someone else’s grandchildren, didn’t necessarily make someone a good parent.

“When you get to know him better, you’ll see,” Celia assured her.

“But how am I supposed to get to know him when he’s so closed off. So uptight.”

“That’s just a smokescreen. Though he doesn’t let it show, he feels very deeply. He’s been hurt, Katy. It takes him time to trust. But he’s a good man.” She laid a hand on Katy’s knee. “I know it’s been hard for you and your parents. And probably nothing I can say will totally reassure you. But I promise you, Adam would never do anything to deliberately hurt anyone. Especially family.”

“I want to believe that.” But she didn’t. Not for a second. Because that would mean everything her sister had told her was a lie. And believing that wasn’t an option.

Six

On a normal day, Adam was an active participant at the informal weekly management team briefing they held in his office, but today he couldn’t stop looking at the clock.

Nathaniel Everett, their Chief Brand Officer was explaining the new campaign his team had been developing to promote their latest, ecologically friendly practices. Groundbreaking upgrades that would not only keep them in line with future federal guidelines, but no doubt result in record profits.

On a normal day that would have filled Adam with a thrilling sense of accomplishment, but today his heart just wasn’t in it. In fact, for a while now, six months at least, work didn’t hold the same appeal as it had in the past. And that fact hadn’t escaped his team.

At first he’d written it off as a temporary slump, but when he didn’t go back to feeling like his old self, he began to suspect it was something deeper. Clearly something was missing. There was a void in his life, in his very soul that work would no longer fill. It was when he knew it was time to have a child.

“So, what do you think?” he heard Nathan ask, and realized he had completely zoned out.

“Good,” he said, hoping he could fake his way through.

Nathan smiled wryly. “You haven’t heard a damn thing I’ve said, have you?”

He could lie, but what was the point? “Sorry. I’m off my game today.”

“Rough night?” Nathan’s brother, Jordan, their Chief Operations Officer, asked, his tone suggestive. He’d been asserting for months that Adam’s major problem was he needed to get laid. And while Adam wouldn’t deny he’d been … tense lately, random sex with a woman he barely knew was Jordan’s thing, not his. In fact, common knowledge of Jordan’s sexual prowess was what had endeared him to the roughnecks on the rig. Despite his Ivy League education, they related to him somehow. Looked up to him even. He managed to fit in, yet still hold his own in the boardroom without batting an eye. He was like a chameleon, changing color to suit his environment.

Adam envied him that sometimes.

“Only because I didn’t sleep well,” he told Jordan. “Maybe we can reschedule for tomorrow.”

Jordan shrugged. “Fine by me.”

“I have a meeting with Cassandra anyway,” Nathan told him, rising from his chair. “Should we say 10:00 a.m.?”

Everyone agreed, then gathered their things and left. Emilio, who had been quiet through most of the meeting, hung back.

“Everything all right?” he asked. He obviously didn’t buy that a simple lack of sleep could leave Adam so distracted.

“Katy and I have an appointment today. In fact, I have to leave soon or I’m going to be late.”

“The fertility doctor?” he asked.

Adam nodded. “She’s having the embryos transferred today.”

“I didn’t realize it would be so soon. Congratulations.”

“That doesn’t mean it will work, but Katy is young and healthy and the doctor seems hopeful.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. I guess I don’t have to ask if you’re nervous.”

It took a lot to set him on edge, but today the pressure was getting to him. “It shows, huh?”

“Hey, who wouldn’t be? This is a big step you’re taking.”

Adam looked at his watch. “And I have to meet Katy.”

Emilio turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway. “I meant to ask the other day. This is probably none of my business… .”

“What?”

“Well, since Becca had cancer, and that can be genetic … I just wondered if that would put your child at risk. It runs in my family, too. On my father’s side.”

“I’ve spoken to a geneticist and the fact that cervical cancer doesn’t run in either of our families reduces the risk of predisposing the baby.”

Emilio grinned. “So you’ve done your research. That’s what I figured. Well, good luck.”

When he was gone Adam grabbed what he needed and headed down to the parking garage. Since Reece had gone to get Katy, he took the company limo to the doctor’s office. When he got inside, she was already there in the lobby waiting for him. And this time he had no trouble spotting her. She stood by the elevator bank, her face flush with excitement, dressed in her “girl” clothes again. This time it was a yellow sundress with a fitted bodice and A-line skirt, and instead of boots she’d worn strappy, flat-soled sandals.

Though he would never admit it to anyone, she looked sexy as hell. And if she were anyone but his sister-in-law, or his surrogate, he just might put an end to his three-year dating freeze and ask her out to dinner.

But no matter how attractive he found her, she was who she was, which kept her strictly off-limits. Not that she would agree to go out with him if he did ask. Knowing her, she would refuse on principle alone, just to irritate him.

“Early again, I see,” he said as he approached her.

“You can thank Reece for that. He was worried about traffic.”

He stabbed the button for the second floor. “Did you get settled in at the house?”

“I did, and Celia seems wonderful.”

“She is.”

“She really adores you, you know. You’re lucky to have someone like that in your life.”

She didn’t have to tell him that. After his mother died, and his father took a permanent emotional vacation, Celia was the only “parent” he’d had. She wasn’t just his housekeeper. She was family. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like now if it hadn’t been for her.

“How can you look so calm?” she asked as the doors slid open and they stepped in. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so ner vous in my life.”

“I don’t do nervous.” Katy must have put on perfume, too, because she smelled really nice. Flowery and feminine, but not overpoweringly so. In fact, the scent was so faint, yet so intoxicating, he had the urge to lean in closer and breathe her in. Bury his nose in the silky curls tumbling like silk ribbons across her shoulders.

Silk ribbons? Jesus, he needed to get his head examined.

“How could you not be nervous?” she said, clearly unwilling to let the subject drop.

“Okay, I’m a little nervous. Happy?”

“Well, if you are, you sure don’t look it. I guess you’re just really good at hiding your feelings.”

“That comes as part of the outdoor plumbing package.” The doors slid open and they stepped out, but when he turned to Katy she had a funny look on her face. “What?”

“Did you just make a joke?”

“I guess so. Is that a problem?”

“The ability to joke suggests you have a sense of humor. Adam, I had no idea.”

He tried to looked indignant, but the corners of his mouth twitched upward.

She gasped. “Oh, my gosh! You just smiled! Do you know that since I met you at Western Oil that day I haven’t seen you smile a single time? I didn’t even realize you still knew how.”

In spite of himself, he smiled wider. “All right, you’ve made your point.”

She gave him a playful poke. “Better be careful, or God forbid, people might start to think you have feelings.”

What she didn’t realize was that he felt very deeply. Too much for his own good, in fact. And look where it had gotten him.

Which is why he expended so much effort to feel as little as possible now. Or at the very least, not let it show.

They walked down the hall to the fertility suite and were immediately shown into the doctor’s private office for a quick consultation, in case they had any last-minute questions—a courtesy Adam was sure he reserved for only his special patients. In other words, the ones with the thickest wallets. Dr. Meyer had a fund for lower-income couples with medical conditions preventing them from conceiving, and understanding their pain, not to mention the perks it would include, Adam had donated generously.

After a brief chat, they were taken to the room where Katy would change into her gown.

“I guess this is it,” Adam said. “I’ll see you afterward.”

“Afterward?” she asked, looking confused. “You’re not going to come in for the procedure. I thought you would want to be there.”

“I do. I just … I thought it would make you uncomfortable.”

“Call me old-fashioned, but I believe a father should at least be in the room when his child is conceived. Even if he’s not actually … you know … doing the work.”

Leave it to Katy to be absolutely blunt. “If you’re comfortable with it, then sure, count me in.”

“The doctor knows the situation. I’m sure he can be discreet. And if not …” she shrugged. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked. And you’ll be seeing it all again when the baby is born. Right?”

He had hoped she would allow him to be in the delivery room, but he figured he would wait until later in the pregnancy to ask. Now he didn’t have to worry.

He didn’t doubt that if he’d hired a surrogate, a stranger, she might not be as open to him being so involved in the entire process. And he appreciated it. More than Katy would ever know.

“Well, I better go change,” she said. “Don’t want to keep the embryos waiting.”

“Thank you, Katy.”

She smiled, then she did something totally unexpected. She rose up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Her lips were soft and warm and just the slightest bit damp. And though it didn’t last long, just a second or two, something happened. Something passed between them, although he couldn’t say for sure what it was. If it was physical or emotional. But whatever it was, he felt it straight through to his bones. And clearly, so did she.

She stepped back, looking puzzled, lifting a hand up to touch her lips. And something must have been wrong with him because his first instinct was to take her in his arms and draw her against him, bury his face against her hair and just … hold her. He wondered what she would do if he tried.

But he didn’t, and after a few seconds the moment, whatever it was, seemed to pass.

“I guess I better go,” she said, glancing back to the nurse who was waiting for her, looking apprehensive, as if the gravity of what she was about to do had suddenly taken hold. “You’ll be there?”

Maybe she just didn’t want to feel as though she was in this alone. “I’ll be there,” he assured her, and realized that his heart was beating faster. Maybe he was more nervous than he’d thought. Or could it have been something else?

She started to turn, and before he realized what he was doing, he reached out and grabbed her arm. Startled, she turned back to him, looking at his hand as though she was surprised he would touch her. And honestly, he was a bit surprised himself.

“You’re sure you want to do this,” he said. “It’s not too late to back out.”

The apprehension seemed to dissolve before his eyes and she smiled. A really sweet, pretty smile that he was sure he would remember for the rest of his life.

“I’m sure,” she said, placing her hand over his. “I want to do this.”

He let his hand slip out from under hers and fall to his side.

“You can sit in the procedure waiting room,” the nurse said, pointing it out to him. “They’ll call you in when she’s ready.”

The waiting room was blessedly empty, but after twenty minutes passed he began to worry they had forgotten about him. He was about to get up and ask someone what was taking so long when another nurse appeared in the doorway. She led him to an exam room where Katy was already in position with her feet in the stirrups, ready to go. And other than a bit of bare leg, she was very discreetly covered.

She looked relieved to see him.

“Is everyone ready?” the doctor asked, looking from Katy to Adam.

Adam nodded. Katy took a deep breath, exhaled and said, “Let’s do it.”

She reached for his hand and he took it, holding firmly as the doctor did the transfer. The procedure itself seemed pretty simple, and if Katy’s occasional winces were any indication, involved only minor discomfort. Within ten minutes it was over.

“That’s it,” Dr. Meyer said, peeling off his gloves. “Now comes the hard part. The waiting.”

Per his orders Katy had to lie there for two hours before she would be allowed home, so after the staff cleared the room Adam pulled a chair up beside her and sat down.

“I think it worked,” she said, looking contentedly serene. “I can almost feel the cells beginning to divide.”

“Is that even possible?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Probably not, but I have a good feeling about this.”

He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he had a good feeling about it, too. Something about the day, the entire experience felt … special. Like it was meant to be. Which was strange, since he’d never been superstitious.

She looked over at him and smiled. “If someone had told me a month ago that I would be here today, having fertilized embryos injected into me, I would have told them they were insane.”

Boy, could he relate. He always knew that someday he would use the embryos, but not with Katy as the surrogate. “If it’s unsuccessful, are you still willing to try again?”

“Of course! I’m in this for the long haul.” She yawned deeply, her eyes overflowing with tears. “Well, goodness, all of the sudden I feel exhausted.”

She must have slept as fitfully as he had last night. Plus she’d had that long drive this morning. “Why don’t you close your eyes and rest.”

“Maybe just for a minute,” she said, her eyes slipping closed. Within minutes her breathing became slow and deep and her lips parted slightly. He sat there looking at her and had the strangest urge to touch her face. To run his finger across her full bottom lip …

He shook away the thought. He hoped this was a one-shot deal. He hoped the test came up positive, not only because he wanted a child, but because he wanted to get the emotionally taxing part of the process out of the way. This entire experience was doing strange things to his head.

He sat there for a while, checking messages and reading email on his phone. Then he played a few games of Tetris.

After an hour, when she was still out cold, he decided to make a few calls. Careful not to disturb her, he stepped out into the hall and called Celia on his cell, asking her to have lunch ready when they got back, then he checked in with his secretary and returned a few other calls that couldn’t wait until he got back to the office. When he finally returned to the room, Katy was awake.

“Oh, there you are,” she said, looking anxious. “I thought maybe you’d left.”

Did she really think he would just up and leave her there alone? “Of course not. I just had a few calls to make and I didn’t want to disturb you.” He reclaimed his seat. “Did you have a good nap?”

“Yeah. I must have gone out cold. All the stress probably. At least now, if we have to do it again, I’ll know what to expect.” She touched his arm. “I wish it could have been Becca here with you.”

Emotion caught in his throat. “Me, too.”

There was a knock at the door, then the nurse stuck her head in. “You can get dressed and go now.”

“Already? I guess I slept longer than I thought.”

“And don’t forget, strict bed rest for the next twenty-four hours,” she said sternly.

“Like I could forget that,” she muttered, sitting up.

Adam waited in the hall while Katy put her clothes on, then they went to the reception desk to make an appointment for her blood test in ten days.

“Can you believe that ten days from now we’ll know if I’m pregnant?” she said excitedly as they walked down to the limo. His only concern right now was getting her home and back into bed. Although he was sure, the next ten days might just be the longest of his life.

Seven

It was official. Katy was starting to dislike Adam a lot less.

She had just assumed that when they got back to his place he would get her settled, pat her on the head and say good job, then motor off to the office for a shareholders meeting or something equally important sounding. In reality, he had barely left her side all day. She watched television and Adam sat in a chair beside the bed with his laptop.

He must have asked her a hundred times if there was anything she needed, anything he could do for her. And here she had honestly believed the only person he cared about was himself. He’d even smiled a few times.

And that kiss back in the doctor’s office? What was up with that? It had been an impulse on her part. After all, what they were doing was pretty personal. It just seemed like the right thing to do. She’d never expected to feel it. Although to be honest she still wasn’t sure what it was exactly that she’d felt. It was an odd sort of … awareness. Not sexual exactly, but not completely innocent, either. It was as if some deeper part of each of them had risen to the surface and collided, causing a sort of cosmic friction or interference or something. And she could tell, by the look on Adam’s face, that he’d felt it, too.

It had been a weird, but not unpleasant experience. In fact, it felt sort of nice. But that didn’t mean she wanted it to happen again. Unfortunately the more she tried to forget it, forget how smooth his cheek felt, the tangy scent of his aftershave, the more it consumed her.

She couldn’t help sneaking looks his way, wondering if he was thinking about it, too. But she wasn’t being as sneaky as she thought because he finally looked over at her and asked, “Is there a reason you keep looking at me?”

“Am I?” she asked, as if she’d had no clue. “I didn’t realize. I guess I must be doing it unconsciously.”

“Okay,” he said, although he didn’t look as though he believed her. But he didn’t push the issue, either. And she was glad. She made a conscious effort not to look at him again.

Around six when Celia brought them supper on a tray, it was a relief to be able to sit up for a while. Celia set her tray over her lap, then gestured Adam to the opposite side of the bed.

“You, sit,” she ordered.

“I am sitting.”

“Now, niño pequeño,” she said sternly. “Little Boy.” A holdover nickname from when he was small, Katy was guessing.

“Why can’t I eat here?” He sounded like a little boy arguing with his mother.

“Because I said so, that’s why. Now move, before your supper gets cold.”

“You’re seriously not going to let me eat here? In a chair, I might add, that I own?”

“And you honestly think I’m going to let you eat spaghetti on Persian silk? Becca would roll over in her grave.”

He seemed to get that it was a losing battle, because he shoved himself up from the chair and mumbled, “The way you boss me around, a person would think this was your house.”

He rounded the bed, kicked off his shoes and climbed on, sitting cross-legged next to Katy. “Happy now?”

“Good boy,” Celia said, setting his tray in front of him, stopping just shy of patting his head. He looked more than a little annoyed, which Katy was guessing was the whole point. He may have owned the house, but Celia was clearly in charge.

It was one of the sweetest, most heartwarming things she had ever seen. The big powerful billionaire was really just a pussycat.

“Can I get you anything else?” Celia asked.

“A double scotch if it wouldn’t be too much trouble,” Adam said.

She smiled and said, “Of course. Katy?”

“Under the circumstances, I should probably lay off the booze. But thanks for asking.”

“I didn’t mean …” She sighed and shook her head, as if they were both hopeless. “Heaven help us, you’re just as bad as he is.”

She walked out mumbling to herself.

“Niño pequeño?” Katy asked, unable to stifle a smile.

“I swear sometimes she thinks I’m still ten years old,” he grumbled, but there was affection in his eyes. He loved Celia, even if he didn’t want to admit it.

“I think everyone needs someone to boss them around every once in a while,” she said. “It keeps you grounded.”

“Well, then, I should be pretty well-grounded, because she bosses me around on a daily basis.”

And she could tell that though he wanted Katy to believe otherwise, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Celia returned several minutes later with his drink, then left them to eat. Katy just assumed that when they were finished, Adam would sit in the chair again. Instead he fluffed the pillows and leaned back against them. It was probably the most laid-back she had ever seen him. In fact, she’d never imagined he could be so relaxed.

She couldn’t help but wonder if it had anything to do with the scotch. Maybe the alcohol had lowered his inhibitions. She recalled Becca telling her once, a long time ago, that if she wanted something, all she had to do was give him a drink or two and he was about as staunch as a wet noodle. And while Katy didn’t necessarily believe it was ethical to take advantage of an intoxicated person, if it made him open up to her a little … well, what was the harm?

When Celia came back for their dishes, Katy asked her for a glass of orange juice. “And I think Adam could use another drink.”

He looked at his watch, then shrugged and said, “Why not?”

Around nine, after he’d drained his second glass and was clearly feeling no pain—he’d even laughed during one of the shows—she used the bathroom and changed into her pajamas, then climbed back into bed. The program they’d been watching had just ended, so she switched off the television, rolled on her side to face him and asked, “Adam, can we talk?”

He looked down at her and frowned. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, no, nothing,” she assured him. “It just only seems right that I should get to know the father of the baby I’ll be carrying. Don’t you think?”

His brow dipped low. “Oh, you mean you want to talk.”

“What have you got against talking? It’s how people get to know each other.”

He looked uncomfortable. “That wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Maybe it should be.”

“You know, my life isn’t really all that interesting.”

“I doubt that.” She gave him a playful poke. “Come on, tell me something about you. Just one thing.”

“Let me think. Oh, I know. I don’t like talking about myself.”

She laughed. “Adam!”

“What?” he said with a grin. “You said one thing.”

“Something I don’t already know. Tell me about … your father.”

He shrugged. “There isn’t much to tell.”

“Were you close?”

“There were times, when my mom was still alive, that he would occasionally notice me. But then she died, and he checked out.”

That was the saddest thing she’d ever heard. If they were all the other had, they should have stuck together. They could have leaned on each other. The way she and her parents supported each other when Becca died. She supposed that sort of tragedy could either pull a family together, or rip them apart.

“You must have been very lonely.”

He shrugged again, “Celia was there for me.”

He said it so casually, but she had the feeling that losing his mother had scarred him deeper than he would ever admit. How could it not?

“How did your mother die?”

“Cancer.”

Which must have made learning about Becca’s cancer all the more devastating. And scary. “How old were you?”

“Young enough to believe it was my fault.”

She sucked in a quiet breath. That was probably the most honest thing he had ever said to her. Her heart ached for him. For the frightened little boy he must have been.

He looked over at her. “Everyone has bad things happen to them, Katy. You get through it, you move on.”

Was he forgetting that she had lost someone dear to her, too?

“Have you?” she asked. “Moved on, I mean.” She knew the instant the words were out, as the shutters on his emotions snapped closed again, that she had pushed too far. So much for getting to know one another.

He looked at his watch and frowned. “It’s getting late.”

He got up and grabbed his shoes from the floor.

“You don’t have to go,” she said. “We can talk about something else.”

His expression said he’d had just about all the conversation he could stand for one night. Maybe a dozen nights. Maybe he was only in here to keep tabs on her. To be sure that she followed the doctor’s instructions. “You need your rest and I have an early meeting tomorrow. I probably won’t see you in the morning, but Celia will get you whatever you need.”

Like the turtles she and Willy used to catch in the grass by the riverbank when she was a kid, he’d sensed danger and retreated back into his shell. God forbid he let himself open up to her, let himself feel something. Would it really be so terrible?

He hesitated in the doorway, like he might change his mind, but instead he said, “Have a safe trip back to Peckins,” then he was gone.

Adam had actually started acting like a human being today, which she couldn’t deny intrigued her. And now that she’d had a preview of the man hiding behind the icy exterior, she wanted to dig deeper. She wanted to know who he was.

But when had this ever been about getting to know Adam better? And why would she bother? When it was over, and the baby was born, they would just go back to being strangers. Seeing each other occasionally when he brought the baby around.

She laid a hand gently across her belly, wondering what was going on inside, if the procedure had worked and the embryo was attaching to her womb. Her tiny little niece or nephew, she thought with a smile. Even knowing that there was only an average 10 percent success rate, she had a good feeling about their chances.

She switched off the light and lay in the dark, thinking about everything that had happened since she left Peckins that morning. The ease of the procedure, and the way Adam had stayed with her all day. She thought that they had shared something special, that they were becoming friends, but it was clear he didn’t want that. And for some stupid reason the idea made her inexplicably sad.

It had only been seven days since the procedure, and would be three more days before she would even know if she was pregnant, and Katy had already determined that she agreed to have a child with the most demanding and obstinate man on the face of the earth.

Adam had called her about a million times.

Okay, so it was more like fifteen or twenty, but it sure felt like a million. She had only been back to Peckins an hour when he phoned to check on her, which, in light of his cool attitude the night before, she found sort of touching. He reminded her that the doctor said to take it easy for several days, meaning no heavy lifting or strenuous activity. Which she, of course, already knew. She assured him she was following the postprocedure instructions to the letter, and he had nothing to worry about.

Thinking that she’d made herself pretty clear, she was surprised when later that evening he’d called again.

Was she eating right? Drinking enough water? Staying off her feet?

She patiently assured him that she was still following the doctor’s orders, and when they hung up shortly after, assumed that would be the last she heard from him in a while. But he called again the next morning.

Had she gotten a full eight hours sleep? She wasn’t drinking coffee, was she? And since country breakfasts were often laden with saturated fats, she should consider fruit and an egg-white omelet as a substitute.

She assured him again, maybe not quite so patiently this time, that she knew what to do. And she was only a little surprised when he called later in the day to say he’d been doing research on the internet and needed her email address so he could send her links to several sites he thought contained necessary information about prenatal health. And had she ever considered becoming a vegetarian?

If he was this fanatical before there was even a confirmed pregnancy, what was he going to be like when she was actually pregnant? Two to three calls a day, every day, for nine months?

She would be giving birth from a padded room in the psychiatric ward.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the phone calls were even slightly conversational in tone. As in, “Hi, how are you? What have you been up to?” Instead he more or less barked orders, without even the most basic of pleasantries.

On day seven, he called to say that he’d been giving their situation considerable thought, and he’d come to the conclusion that he would feel more comfortable if she came to stay with him in El Paso for the duration of her pregnancy. So he could “keep a close eye on her.”

It was the final straw.

“I will not, under any circumstances, drop everything and move two hours from home. The ranch is my life. My parents need me here. And all the phone calls and emails … it has to stop. You’re smothering me and we don’t even know that I’m pregnant yet.”

“But you could be, so doesn’t it make sense to start taking care of yourself now? This is my child we’re talking about.”

“It’s also my life.”

“If you were here with me I wouldn’t have to call. And you wouldn’t have to do anything. Celia would take care of you.”

She liked Celia, but honestly, it sounded like hell on earth. She wasn’t an idle person. Most days she was up before dawn and didn’t stop moving until bedtime. “I love working, Adam.”

“But obviously you’ll have to quit.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you’ll be pregnant.”

Oh, he did not just say that. “What century are you living in? Pregnant women work all the time.”

“At a desk job maybe, or as a clerk in a store. I seriously doubt there are pregnant women out there roping cattle on horseback and mucking stables.”

“Is that what you think I do?”

“It’s not?”

“Not just that. And, of course, I wouldn’t do those things when I’m pregnant. Do you really think I would be that irresponsible? And for your information, I spend a lot of time behind a desk.”

“I didn’t mean to imply that you’re irresponsible. And I guess I just assumed your responsibilities were more physical in nature.”

“So you assumed I got a business degree just for the fun of it?” she snapped. “Next you’ll be telling me that I’m wasting my education staying on the ranch.” As if she hadn’t heard that enough from Becca over the years.

“I’m just worried about the health of my child.”

“We obviously need to get a few things straight here. One, I am not moving to El Paso. There is no reason why I can’t have a perfectly healthy pregnancy in Peckins. And two, I am definitely not quitting work. My parents depend on me, not to mention that I love what I do. I understand that you’re worried about the baby’s health, but you’re just going to have to trust me. And lastly, if you insist on calling to check up on me, could you have the decency to not treat me like a … a baby factory. Maybe we could even have a conversation. You do know what that is, right?”

“Yes,” he said curtly. He obviously didn’t like what he was hearing, but when she signed the contract to be his surrogate, nowhere did it say she had to comply to his every demand.

Move in with him? Was he nuts?

“Even though Becca is gone, we’re still family. Would it really be so terrible if we were friends?”

“I never said I didn’t want to be your friend.”

“You didn’t have to. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, actions speak louder than words. And maybe you haven’t considered this, but if you get to know me a little better, it will be easier for you to trust me.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he said grudgingly.

At least it was start. But she had the sinking feeling that it was going to a really long nine months.

Eight

Since their phone conversation three days ago, Adam had cut off all contact with Katy, and it had been surprisingly difficult. Since the procedure he’d been thinking about her almost twenty-four/seven. The more he read up on pregnancy, the deeper home it hit just how many things could go wrong with not just the baby, but Katy, as well.

He had accepted responsibility for Becca’s death, and learned to live with the guilt, but the idea that her sister’s life was now in his hands had him on constant edge. It was his responsibility to make sure she was healthy.

It was something he should have considered before he put this baby plan into motion. But it was too late now. Katie was due to arrive any minute so they could go for her blood test. In a few hours they would know if the procedure worked.

He was both excited and dreading it. Hopeful but conflicted. From his home office, where he’d been working while waiting for her to arrive, he heard the doorbell. Even though he was sure it was Katy, he let Celia answer it.

After a minute, Celia knocked on his door. “Katy is here, and I think something is wrong. She ran straight upstairs to the spare bedroom. And it looked like she’d been crying.”

He bolted up from his chair, his heart in the pit of his stomach.

With Celia close behind Adam rushed up the stairs to the spare room. The door was open, so he stepped inside. The door to the bathroom was closed. He knocked softly and asked, “Katy, are you all right?”

“Give me a minute,” she called.

He walked back over to the bedroom door to wait with Celia. After several minutes the bathroom door opened and Katy emerged. She was in her girls’ clothes, and her red-rimmed eyes said she probably had been crying.

Ridiculous as it was, his first instinct was to take her in his arms and try to comfort her, which was exactly why he didn’t.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I had some light cramping this morning before I left, but I thought it might just be a fluke.” She sniffled and swiped at the tear that had spilled over onto her cheek. “But it wasn’t.”

The disappointment was all-encompassing. “You’re not pregnant?”

She bit her lip and shook her head. “I was so sure it worked. I really expected to be pregnant.”

Celia crossed the room and gathered Katy in her arms, and Adam couldn’t help thinking that it should be him comforting her. But he was glad Celia had stepped in for him.

“You’ll have more chances,” Celia assured her, rubbing her back soothingly. “I know it’s disappointing, but it will happen.” She looked over at Adam and gestured to the box of tissue on the nightstand.

He plucked one out and brought it to her. Celia took it and pressed it into Katy’s hand. “Why don’t I make you a soothing cup of chamomile tea?”

Katy sniffled and nodded.

Celia turned and gave Adam a look, then jerked her head in Katy’s direction, as if to say “Console her, you idiot.” But he couldn’t seem to make himself do it.

Katy stood there dabbing her eyes. “I was so sure I was pregnant.”

“The doctor said it could take a few times.”

“I know, but I had such a good feeling.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry, Adam.”

“Sorry for what?”

“I feel responsible.”

She looked so damned … forlorn. And Katy never struck him as the kind of woman to cry on a whim. He recalled that even at Becca’s funeral she’d held it together. And how could he just stand there, like a selfish bastard, when he was the one who put her in this situation? Had he really grown so cold and unfeeling?

Or was it that he felt too much?

“I’m sorry,” she said in a wobbly voice. “I’m acting stupid.”

Another tear spilled over and rolled down her cheek, and he cringed. The gene all men possessed that made them wither at the sight of a crying female kicked into overdrive. Besides, if he didn’t do something, she would probably just interpret it as him being mad at her, or something equally ridiculous.

Feeling he had no choice, he stepped closer and tugged her into his arms. She came willingly, leaning into the embrace, hands fisted against his chest, head tucked under his chin.

There it was again, just like when she’d kissed his cheek, that feeling of awareness. As if every touch, every sensation was multiplied tenfold. The softness of her body where it pressed against his. The flowery scent of her hair. The flutter of her breath through his shirt and the warmth that seemed to seep through her clothing to his skin.

His body began to react the way any man’s would. Well, any man who hadn’t been this physically close to a woman in three years. Or intimate in closer to four. Until recently he couldn’t say he’d missed it. He’d barely given any thought to sex. It was as if his body had been in deep hibernation, unable to feel physical pleasure.

But he sure as hell could feel it now. And if he didn’t get a hold of himself, she would feel it, too.

“I’m sorry,” she said again.

“Would you stop apologizing.”

“I just feel like, maybe if I had done something different, if I had been more careful.”

Beating herself up over this wasn’t going to change anything. “It was nothing you did.”

“But you only have embryos for two more attempts. What if those fail, too?”

“I knew going into this that there was a chance it wouldn’t work. I do have other options.”

“But then the last of Becca will be gone forever.”

“Katy, look at me.” She didn’t move, so he cradled her chin in his palm and lifted her face to his. Big mistake. Her eyes were wide and sad, and so blue he could almost swim in their depths, and when they locked on his, the sensation was so intense he felt it like a physical blow. Whatever it was he’d been about to say to her was lost.

Her lips parted, like she might speak, and his eyes were drawn to her mouth. Though he knew it was wrong, never had the idea of kissing a woman intrigued him this way. And clearly whatever craziness was causing this, it was doing the same to her. He could tell, by the sudden shift in her demeanor, by the look in her eyes, that she was going to kiss him again. And he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to stop her.

Not only did he not stop her, but as she rose up, he leaned in to meet her halfway.

Their lips touched and whatever was left of his common sense evaporated with their mingling breath. His only coherent thought was more. Whatever she was willing to give, he would take.

So thank God Celia chose that exact instant to call up from the base of the stairs, “The tea is ready!”

Katy pulled away from him, eyes wide with the realization of what they had just done.

“We’ll be down in a minute,” he called to Celia.

“Oh, my God,” she whispered, reaching up to touch her lips. “Did you feel that?”

Feel it? His heart was about to pound out of his chest. And he couldn’t stop looking at her mouth.

He needed to get a hold of himself.

“Okay, this is not that bad,” she said, trying to rationalize a situation that was completely irrational. “We’re both disappointed, and upset. That’s all. This doesn’t mean anything. Right?”

Leave it to Katy to take the situation and blow it wide open.

“Right. We’re just upset.” He didn’t know if he actually believed it, but it seemed to be what she needed to hear. Why couldn’t she be one of those women who was content to pretend everything was fine. Like Becca. It had been like pulling teeth to get her to admit when there was a problem, or she was upset about something.

Of course, that had been no picnic, either. Was there no happy medium?

“We need to call the doctor’s office,” Katy said. “Find out what we should do.”

He was glad one of them was thinking clearly. Because the only clear thought he was having right now was how much he’d like to see her naked again.

They had opened a door, and he couldn’t help wondering if it was only a matter of time before someone stepped through.

She had kissed Adam. On the mouth.

One minute Katy had been racked with guilt that the procedure hadn’t worked, and the next she was practically crawling out of her skin, she was so hot for him. And thank God for Celia and her timing, or who knows what might have happened. The possibilities both horrified and intrigued her. Though Becca was gone, he would always be her brother-in-law. Her sister’s husband. To Katy and her parents, who would kill her if they had any clue what had just happened.

Sure, she’d hoped she and Adam could get to know each other, but she’d never meant in the biblical sense. Talk about going from one extreme to another.

Like her mom had so eloquently put it, he wasn’t like them. So whatever was causing these weird feelings was going to have to stop.

Despite the fact that they both seemed determined to forget it happened, their trip to the doctor’s office later that afternoon had been tense. But at least the appointment with Dr. Meyer had been encouraging. He assured her that she’d done nothing to cause the implantation to fail. He wrote her a prescription for hormone shots that she would begin taking a week before the next scheduled implantation. He explained that it could make her womb more hospitable and increase their chances for success.

She wasn’t sure what the shots were actually doing for her womb, but as she drove back to El Paso the morning of the second procedure, her emotions were in a hopeless tangle.

What if things were completely awkward between her and Adam? He had emailed her a few times in the past week to check on her, but they hadn’t actually talked since her last visit.

Like last time, she drove straight to Adam’s house, then Reece took her in the limo to the clinic. She assumed Adam would already be waiting in the lobby, and she was so nervous about seeing him again her hands were trembling. But he wasn’t there yet. She waited in their usual spot by the elevator, wringing her hands. He sent her a text message a few minutes later that said he was running late, and to go on up without him.

What if he didn’t make it on time? Would they wait for him? The idea of doing this alone made her heart race.

She took the elevator up to the clinic. She checked in, hoping they would make her wait this time, but the nurse called her back right away. She took her time changing into a gown, her anxiety mounting, waiting for a reply saying that he’d arrived. But when the nurse took her to the procedure room, she had no choice but to leave her phone in her purse.

He wasn’t going to make it, she realized. Was he really held up at work, or avoiding her? Had that kiss done more damage than she’d realized? This was starting to become a familiar cycle for her. Get close to a man, let her guard down, then inevitably drive him away. What other conclusion could she draw, but that there was something seriously wrong with her? She was like a human deflector. Men got close, then bounced off the surface.

Most of her friends were already married and starting families. And here she was having a baby for someone else, because she was so unappealing, so unlovable no one wanted her.

The nurse got her situated on the table and ready for the transfer. She must have sensed Katy was upset because she put a hand on her shoulder and asked, “You okay, honey?”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I don’t think Adam is going to make it.”

“Mr. Blair is already here, in the waiting room.”

“He is?”

She nodded and smiled. “I was just about to go get him.”

She was so relieved, if she hadn’t been lying down, her knees probably would have given out.

The nurse slipped out into the hall, returning a minute later with Adam. She was so happy to see him she had to bite down hard on her lip to keep from bursting into tears, but they started leaking out of her eyes anyway.

Looking worried, Adam grabbed a chair and sat down beside her. “Katy, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?”

“I thought you weren’t coming,” she said, her voice wobbly.

“I told you I’d just be a few minutes late.”

She wiped her eyes. “I know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s probably the hormones you’ve been taking,” the nurse said, handing her a tissue. “It makes some women weepy.”

In that case she hoped it worked this time, so she didn’t have to take this emotional roller-coaster ride again. For someone who barely even suffered PMS, this was the pits.

“Is there anything I can do?” Adam asked, looking so adorably helpless, she could have hugged him. Or kissed him. He was sitting awfully close. If she just reached up and slipped a hand around his neck, pulled him down …

Ugh. Had she really just gone from weeping, to fantasizing about jumping him? As if things weren’t weird enough already.

She really was a basket case.

The door opened and Dr. Meyer came in, asking cheerfully, “Are we ready to make a baby?”

Katy nodded and held her hand out to Adam. He took it, cradling it between his, holding tight while the doctor did the transfer. Just like the last time it was quick, and mostly painless.

“You know the drill,” the nurse told them when it was over. “Two hours on your back.”

The nurse stepped out into the hall and it was just the two of them. Alone. Last time Adam had let go of her hand as soon as the procedure was finished, but not now. Maybe he didn’t think she was so terrible after all.

“I’m really sorry about earlier,” she said. “I never cry. Not even when I was thrown from a horse and busted my collarbone. But it seems as though every time I see you now I’m blubbering about something.”

“Katy, I understand.”

“I just don’t want you to think I’m a big baby.” Because that’s sure what she felt like.

“I don’t. The same thing happened to Becca when they were getting her ready to harvest the eggs. Then they found the cancer and, well, suffice it to say that didn’t help matters.”

It was hard to imagine Becca crying about anything. Even the cancer. She had always been so strong, so determined to beat it. Even near the end, when all hope was lost, she was tough. Around Katy and their parents anyway.

“Sometimes I feel guilty that I don’t miss her more,” she said. “That we drifted so far apart.”

“It happens, I guess.”

“It’s really sad. She was my sister for twenty-four years, but I don’t think she ever really knew me.”

That seemed to surprise him. “In what way?”

“She always thought that by staying on the ranch with our parents, I was settling—giving in—or something. She must have told me a million times that I was wasting my education. And my life. She said I should move to the city, try new things. Meet new people. And no matter how many times I told her that I loved working on the ranch, that it was what made me happy, she just didn’t seem to get it. If it wasn’t good enough for her, then it wasn’t good enough for anyone. It was so … infuriating.”

“What she thought shouldn’t have mattered.”

But it did. She had always looked up to Becca. She was beautiful and popular and sophisticated. Of course, she could also be self-centered and stubborn, too.

“I felt as though she never really saw me. The real me. To her I was always little Katy, young and naive. I think she expected me to be just like her. And not only did I not give a damn about being rich and sophisticated, I could never pine for a man the way she did for you. It’s like she was obsessed. Everything she did was to keep you happy. To keep you interested. It just seemed … exhausting.”

Adam frowned, and Katy felt a stab of guilt. What had possessed her to say something so insensitive?

“Oh, shoot. Adam, I’m sorry.” She squeezed his hand, wishing she could take the words back. “I didn’t mean to imply—”

“No, you’re right. She was like that. But for the life of me I could never understand why. She didn’t need to work to keep me interested. I loved her unconditionally. She was so independent and feisty.”

Katy smiled. “She was definitely feisty. Full of piss and vinegar, my grandma used to say.”

“She lost that. I don’t know why, but after we got married, she changed.”

“Maybe she loved you so much, she was afraid of losing you. Maybe she was worried that once you were married, you would get bored with her.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“When she met you, she seemed truly happy for the first time in her life. She was never happy at home. She never came out and said it, but we knew she was ashamed of where she came from. You’ll never know how much that hurt my parents.”

He surprised her by turning his hand and threading his fingers through hers. “I tried to get Becca to visit more. I told her I would make time. I had no family, so I knew how important it was. She just …” He shrugged helplessly.

That should have hurt, but mostly Katy just felt disappointed. Especially since Becca had led them to believe that it was Adam who never had time for them.

“It was like that with the fertility treatments, too,” he said. “They found the cancer, and wanted to do the surgery and start treatment immediately. She flat-out refused. She wanted to harvest her eggs. I begged her to reconsider, but she knew it was our last chance to have a child that was biologically ours. There was no reasoning with her. The doctors warned her that she had a particularly aggressive strain, but she wouldn’t budge.”

Becca had always led Katy and her parents to believe that Adam had been the one to make that decision, that he insisted they wait and harvest the eggs first, and they had believed her. Had it all been a lie, to shelter herself from her parents’ disapproval?

Why did she portray him to be so unreasonable and demanding?

“You want to hear the really ironic part of all this?” Adam said. “I don’t think she really even wanted kids.”

It was true Becca had never been much of a kid person. Katy had been a little surprised when she mentioned they were trying to get pregnant. But when it didn’t happen right away she’d been devastated. Because when Becca wanted something, she didn’t like to wait. After that, it was as if she was obsessed. “For a year that’s all she talked about,” she told Adam.

“Because she knew it was what I wanted.”

“Why wouldn’t she want kids?”

“I think … I think she was afraid that if we had a child, I might love it more than her. She wanted to be the center of my universe, and I think she believed that the baby would replace her.”

Was she really that insecure? She was smart and beautiful and talented with a husband who loved her. Why couldn’t she just be happy? Why did she have to make everything so complicated?

“I loved Becca,” Adam said, “but I don’t think I ever completely understood her. But that wasn’t her fault. I should have tried harder, made more of an effort. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”

It occurred to her suddenly that she and Adam were talking. Having an honest conversation. And she hadn’t even been trying. It just … happened.

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.