About the Author

As a twelve-year-old, AMY ANDREWS used to sneak off with her mother’s romance novels and devour every page. She was the type of kid who daydreamed a lot and carried a cast of thousands around in her head, and from quite an early age knew that it was her destiny to write. So, in between her duties as wife and mother, her paid job as Paediatric Intensive Care Nurse and her compulsive habit to volunteer, she did just that!

Amy Andrews lives in Brisbane’s beautiful Samford Valley, with her very wonderful and patient husband, two gorgeous kids, a couple of black Labradors and six chooks.

Their Baby Bond

Amy Andrews

www.millsandboon.co.uk

To Sandra Baxter, my mother.

You lift me up so I can walk on mountains.

I am truly blessed.

CHAPTER ONE

DR WILLIAM GALLIGHER knew he’d been fooling himself the minute he saw Louise Marsden again. Damn it. He wasn’t as over her as he’d thought! One year apart had obviously not managed to erase five years of the best relationship he’d ever had. He paused at the entry to Ward Two, his hand on the swing doors, and took a deep breath, his heart pounding in anticipation. He watched her through the glass panels, the familiar pull of attraction flaring to life.

Even a good ten metres away, and with her back to him, he knew it was her. Her thick, golden, rope-like plait brushed the gentle curve of her bottom, revealing her identity at any distance. That plait and the cute package attached to it were known the width and breadth of the hospital.

His groin tightened as, unbidden, images stormed his mind. Lou naked with her hair loose, flowing over her shoulders and down her back. He still had far too vivid recall of how great it felt trailing over his body. How thick and heavy it felt against his fingers when they were buried in it. How he had spent many an hour brushing it, until the streaks of blonde, honey and gold blended together to form a shiny silken curtain of glorious colour. He had missed her hair.

She was leaning against the raised return of the central nurses’ desk, her elbow resting against the smooth surface. Her petite body as slender as he remembered. Her derrière as cute as ever. She was chatting to Lydia, and he could hear her wicked laughter drift towards him. Lou had a fantastic laugh. He had missed her laugh too.

He sighed. Louise Marsden had been an easy woman to love. Generous, loyal, uncomplicated—the complete opposite of his ex-wife. She had known how messed up he’d been over Delvine and the demise of his marriage, and she had been a soothing balm for his battered soul. Lou had been just what he’d needed.

Damn it. He could feel himself being seduced by the past and put the brakes on. He wasn’t here for this. For her. His work had bought him back. And that was it. Because for the first time in years he had a chance to start a fresh page with his daughter. And he wouldn’t complicate it by rekindling the flame with Lou.

Okay, Candy adored Louise, but after years of Delvine muddying the waters with his daughter he finally had the opportunity to reconnect with her, and he needed to devote all his time and energy to that. Not chase after something that he had ended a year ago. No matter how tempting it was.

Louise Marsden felt like hell. She gripped her stomach as the baby did a somersault. Come on, little guy, give me a break. Her back ached, her legs ached, her ribs ached and her stomach growled as the little commandant inside her demanded a sugar-hit. She felt shaky and nauseated as she pulled a packet of Fruit Tingles out of her pocket and crammed one quickly into her mouth.

Her tongue tingled as the sweet fizzed in her mouth, the effect almost instantaneous. The trembling ceased and her stomach stopped feeling as if it was imminently in danger of losing its contents.

‘You okay, Lou?’

Louise nodded, easing her grip on the desk. ‘Am now,’ she smiled weakly at her second-in-charge and good friend Lydia Clarke.

‘Fruit Tingle time?’ Lydia asked.

Louise smiled and nodded. ‘Little dictator,’ she said.

‘Hah! If you think this is bad, just wait. You’re going to be dancing attendance on that little tyke for the rest of your life.’

Lydia had four kids, so Lou figured she could speak with reasonable authority. ‘Oh, goody,’ she grumbled good-naturedly.

‘Still sleeping badly?’

She nodded. ‘I just can’t get comfortable. I feel like I’m an elephant sleeping in a hammock.’

Lydia laughed. ‘You aren’t exactly small.’

‘Gee, thanks … why are we friends again?’

‘Because I’ve known you since first grade and I keep you supplied with Fruit Tingles.’

‘I can buy my own Fruit Tingles,’ Lou protested, but couldn’t deny that Lydia’s multiple stashes had got her out of many a baby-induced hypoglycaemic attack.

The phone rang and Lydia answered it. Peter Booth, a nurse on Ward Two, steamed into the nurses’ station, baby on hip. ‘I can’t get anyone else to do the shave. I just need one more, come on guys—Lou … people are going to pay big money to see all that gorgeous hair come off.’

‘No, no, no and no. It’s all right for you,’ laughed Lou, staring at Pete’s bald pate. ‘You’re used to it.’

‘You could just get it cut short or even coloured. You don’t have to go the whole hog.’

‘Out,’ Lydia ordered, replacing the phone, picking up a chart and whacking him playfully. ‘That would be a sin.’

‘True,’ he sighed. ‘But still …’

‘Out,’ said Lydia, grinning. They watched him leave. ‘So, what have you got planned for the weekend?’

‘Anything and everything I can to keep my mind off Will’s return.’ A month had passed since the memo from the Medical Director had announced Will’s appointment, and she wasn’t any closer to indifference.

Kristy Freeman, a newly graduated nurse, bustled into the station along with Lynne Oliver, the ward clerk. The phone rang again and Lynne answered it. Lynne was efficient and practically indispensable to Ward Two, but loved to gossip. Lydia took her friend’s arm and steered her out of the nurses’ station—too much activity, too much noise, too many flapping ears.

They parked themselves just on the other side of all the activity, in the main thoroughfare, leaning their elbows against the raised return. ‘It’s been a year, Lou. Don’t tell me you still love him?’ Lydia asked.

‘Oh, God, no. I’m over him. Really.’ Really.

‘So, what’s the problem?’ Lydia demanded.

‘I don’t know. Will took up every part of my life for a long time, and …’

‘You loved him?’ Lydia finished.

Lou nodded miserably. She was over him. Really. But suddenly a year’s separation didn’t seem like enough distance.

‘Tell me, Lou,’ Lydia said gently, ‘how long were you unhappy in that relationship?’

‘I was happy most of the time,’ she protested.

‘Sure. But did he ever ask you to marry him? Did he ever give you any indication or promise of anything other than living for the moment?’

‘No.’

‘No,’ said Lydia, touching her friend’s arm, ‘he didn’t.’

‘It wasn’t his fault. His life is complicated. Delvine made everything so difficult. You know that, Lydia. He’s your friend too.’

‘Sure.’ Lydia nodded. ‘And you were more than understanding, Lou. In fact I don’t know of any other woman who would have been quite so understanding for quite so long. But he ended it, and vacated your life, and you’ve moved on,’ she said, indicating Lou’s round bump. ‘And you have this baby to think about now. And Will may have been my friend too, but my loyalty will always be with you.’ She grinned. ‘Always. Now, repeat after me: Will Galligher is in my past. I am over him.’

Lou rolled her eyes. ‘Will Galligher is in my past. I am over him,’ she said dutifully.

‘Now repeat it over and over until you believe it. All weekend if necessary.’ Lydia laughed.

Lou laughed too. She felt empowered by talking to Lydia. Her friend always had the knack of cutting through the layers to the crux of the matter. ‘You’re right, Lydia. Besides, the only room I have in my heart these days is for this little guy,’ she said, patting her stomach.

‘Atta girl! You’ll be fine, Lou,’ said Lydia, hugging her reassuringly. ‘Really. You’ll be cool. You’ll be calm. You’ll be collected. And if he puts one foot wrong, I’ll beat him to a pulp.’

Will hesitated a little before pushing open the doors and approaching. He hadn’t expected to feel this churned up, and part of him urged retreat. Maybe this meeting would be better on Monday morning? At least she’d be expecting him then, and it would be business as usual. Lou and Lydia looked deep in conversation. Don’t be stupid, man. She won’t bite. Get it over and done with.

He swung the doors open defiantly and ordered his legs to move. I am over her. Candy is my priority. Only Candy. He strode towards his goal, his eyes planted firmly on his target. Her long plait like a homing beacon. He noticed a crawling child with bilateral leg plasters also making its way to Lou from the opposite direction. Except he wasn’t looking at her with grim determination, but absolute glee. As if she was the best thing in the whole ward. Good taste, kid.

He saw her look down as the little one touched her leg, and he heard her laugh again, the noise carrying to him, evoking myriad memories from their five years together. She bent and hauled the babe up on to her hip, still chatting to Lydia. The child snuggled his head into Lou’s breast and Will’s heart skipped a beat as Lou cuddled the little boy close, her chin rubbing absently against his downy hair. He remembered how she had held Candy just like that. I am over you. I am over you.

‘Hell, Lou, don’t look now, but Will’s coming up right behind you,’ murmured Lydia.

Lou froze and cuddled little Terry closer. Today? He wasn’t due to start till Monday. She wasn’t ready for this. She was supposed to have the weekend to prepare. How was he going to react to her news?

‘Hello, Lou.’

Louise bugged her eyes at Lydia. Help.

Lydia bugged hers back, and nodded ever so slightly. It’s okay. I’ve got your back.

Will smiled at Lydia, who gave him a cool look. Oh, dear. He had counted Lydia as one of his friends. He and Lou had been out with Lydia and her husband, Gerry, many times, had been to dinner at their house on numerous occasions. Candy counted Rilla, Lydia’s third child, as one of her closest friends. But Lou and Lydia had always been really tight, and he’d known that Lou had been hurt when he’d left. And women stuck together.

He felt his heartbeat kick up a notch as Lou slowly turned. What would he see when she finally faced him? Would she still look as hurt as the day he had told her they couldn’t go on as they were? Or had she moved past that? To anger? Or contempt? Or maybe she’d be happy to see him? She’d smile at him and throw her arms around his neck?

Lou took a deep breath and slowly turned, bracing herself for his reaction, pulling Terry closer to her chest. ‘Hello, Will.’

Will’s thoughts stuttered to a halt. For a few seconds he wondered if he was having some kind of absent seizure. Or stroke. It took a few moments for the wiring in his brain to reconnect. He had heard about people being struck dumb and knew he was living their nightmare.

How naive had he been? The look on her face didn’t register. The amazingly large bosom where the little boy was snuggled didn’t register. He leant against the counter and took a deep breath. The only thing that registered was her enormous stomach. Pregnant? She was pregnant? He was completely speechless. In fact he was fairly certain he had his mouth open and was gaping like an idiot.

‘Close your mouth, Will,’ said Lydia, saccharine-sweet. ‘Don’t want to catch any flies.’

He glanced at her and saw the amusement and triumph in her eyes. Oh, yeah. Lydia definitely wasn’t keen on him. He ignored her, and struggled for a moment for something to say. The initial shock was waning, and he could feel the first spurt of a darker, stronger emotion. Anger? Jealousy? Possession?

Lydia’s smugness goaded him. ‘Jeez, Lou. You sure didn’t waste any time,’ he said, staring pointedly at Lou’s belly.

Lou gripped Terry even closer as she heard Lydia’s shocked gasp. She stared at him for a moment, stung by his words. ‘My office,’ she said, through clenched teeth.

Lou passed Terry to Lydia, feeling her friend’s hostility as a palpable force. If she didn’t get Will out of harm’s way Lydia was going to tear him to shreds. And the way she felt at the moment, with his insulting remark hanging between them, she might well let her.

He followed her, watching her plait sway and glide against her shirt. The urge to pull on it, flip her around, kiss her mouth and refamiliarise himself with those lips was strong, and he suppressed it with difficulty. Even if his life hadn’t been complicated, and there hadn’t been Candy to consider, Lou had obviously replaced him.

Lou pulled out her chair and glared at him as he sat opposite. How dared he? She was mad as hell, and battled to bring her temper under control. The very fact that being in this office reminded her of the number of times he had dragged her in here and kissed her made her madder.

‘I’m sorry. Was I supposed to sit around and pine for you all this time? Was I?’

He knew he had no right to feel so outraged. But he did. ‘Of course not,’ he snapped. ‘But, jeez, Lou. Did you even let my side of the bed get cold? Just how pregnant are you?’

‘I’m thirty weeks. And I don’t owe you an explanation, Will. You ended it. You left. You said you didn’t know when you’d be back. So I got on with my life. You were too involved with your own stuff for a baby. So I found someone who wasn’t.’

The baby chose that moment to give her a hefty kick, as if objecting to the lie. She placed her hand over the spot and rubbed it absently. Sorry, baby, but if he’s going to accuse me of being easy when he should know me better, then he can suffer for a bit.

Will followed the movement and felt another irrational streak of jealousy. She was carrying another man’s baby. He hadn’t been prepared for that. Her anger, her hostility—yes. But not how much it was going to sting knowing she had traded him in for someone else so quickly.

He shook his head to clear it. ‘Since when did you want a baby?’

‘I’ve always wanted one,’ she snapped.

‘You never told me,’ he said indignantly.

‘When was it ever the right time to tell you, Will? I’m a thirty-five-year-old woman. What makes you think I wouldn’t want one?’

He blinked. Good question. She was a paedatric nurse. A damn good one at that. She’d been wonderful with Candy. He sighed. ‘Who’s the father?’ Please, God, don’t let me know him. ‘Are you going to marry him?’

Lou felt herself getting sucked in to the lie further, and searched for a half-truth to assuage her guilt. ‘He’s … not on the scene any more.’ It’s complicated. She thought about Jan and Martin and clutched her swollen belly harder.

Will blinked. The surprises just kept on coming. ‘What do you mean? Doesn’t he know you’re pregnant?’

‘It’s not like that,’ she dodged, hoping she could keep the lies straight. ‘It was just a casual thing.’

Will narrowed his eyes and looked at her closely. Rubbish. There was something she wasn’t telling him. How badly had she wanted a baby? Had she used some poor, unsuspecting guy to accomplish her goal?

‘Lou, you didn’t just use some guy to get pregnant, did you?’

The baby kicked again. Did he really think her capable of such a cold-blooded plan? Anger simmered through her veins. ‘This is none of your business, Will. All you need to know is that I’m pregnant and I’ll be out of your hair in a month. I’m sure you and I can manage to be civil to each other in that time, right? Or is that going to be a problem?’

Four weeks. He’d been looking forward to coming back to his old job, knowing he’d get to see Lou every day. Because apart from their history she was the best damn nurse unit manager he’d ever worked with. Efficient, knowledgeable and resourceful. ‘No problem,’ he said emphatically, staring into her pretty face and blue eyes. ‘Who’s filling in for you?’ he asked.

‘Lydia.’

Oh. Great. Just what he needed. The friend from hell. ‘Excellent,’ he said.

There was a moment of awkward silence. ‘I suppose you’re here to familiarise yourself with the new computer system?’ she said, not seeing any point in continuing hostilities when they had to work together.

‘No, I have some other stuff to attend to first. I’m coming back this afternoon to get myself orientated with that. I actually came to see you. Check that we were … okay.’

‘And?’

‘I don’t know, Lou.’ He raked his hands through his hair. ‘You’ve thrown me for a bit of a loop, actually.’

Welcome to my life. ‘Well, back at you,’ she said.

The phone rang and Lou was grateful for the interruption. ‘Ward Two, Louise Marsden speaking.’

‘Everything okay?’ demanded Lydia.

Lou smiled. ‘Fine.’

‘Do you want me to come in and kick his butt?’

This time she laughed. Lydia would, she had no doubt. ‘Thanks, I have it under control.’ She hung up, still smiling.

‘Lydia?’

She nodded.

‘She doesn’t like me much these days.’

‘No.’

‘I wasn’t aware I’d done anything to upset her.’

Lou shrugged. ‘You didn’t. You left. You upset me. It’s enough.’

‘What else could I have done, Lou? Delvine was making it impossible. You were miserable. I wasn’t … we weren’t making you happy any more.’

‘You did what you had to do, Will. I understand that. But it still hurt.’

‘So I do the only decent thing and I’m the big bad wolf? That’s hardly fair,’ he grumbled. Women!

Lou nodded. ‘That’s what friends are for.’

‘Do they all hate me?’ he asked, feeling slightly apprehensive about working with a hostile staff.

She shook her head. ‘Only about seventy-five percent.’

The phone rang again, and it was the pharmacy checking on supplies. She replaced the phone and felt more on an even keel now the initial hostilities were over and they’d settled into polite chit-chat.

Will shook his head. ‘Candy’s going to flip when I tell her you’re having a baby. She was just lamenting only yesterday how she didn’t have a little brother or sister to play with. You’re going to be her favourite person … but then I guess you always were.’

Lou smiled, thinking about Will’s gorgeous eight-year-old daughter. ‘How is Candy?’

‘Good,’ he said. ‘Surprisingly so. I thought she might be more upset … withdrawn … But she’s amazed me. I’m lucky she’s so resilient.’

Lou loved the way his mouth, his entire face softened when he talked about Candice. Just as well I’m over you. ‘How long will Delvine be gone for?’ Harold Yates, the Medical Director, had filled Lou in on Will’s new circumstances. Delvine had found herself a rich property developer and had decided to relocate to Italy with him.

‘At least two years. Probably more.’

Lou shook her head. How could she? How could she walk out on her daughter, a sweetie like Candice, for such a long time? But then Delvine had always had the maternal instincts of a spider. And it wasn’t the first time Delvine had done a runner. She had taken off for two and a half years when Candy had been one, leaving Will a single dad.

Lou felt the bulge of her belly and knew that although the baby inside her had never been a part of her future plans, it was her responsibility and she could no more walk away from that than fly to the moon. And the baby wasn’t even hers.

Lucky for Candice she had a father who doted on her and was one hundred per cent committed. Hell, despite the custody arrangements, he had practically raised her. When Lou thought about the interference and stress Delvine had caused in Will’s life, their life, she wanted to spit.

‘She signed over custody to you?’

He nodded. ‘I think she was looking for an out. Again. She was relieved I wouldn’t sign the passport application. To be honest, I don’t think she’ll ever return.’

Lou nodded. ‘Are you back in the house?’ Will had a beautiful federation-style Queenslander, in the trendy suburb of Paddington.

He nodded. ‘Why don’t you come over this weekend? She’s dying to see you.’

Lou swallowed. She’d do anything for that little girl. But this? So soon? ‘I’m kind of busy.’ She fobbed him off. ‘I’ll see how things pan out.’

There was another awkward silence. He looked so good. A year had been too long. The things she’d wanted to do with this man … to be with this man. Her tiredness was making her sentimental and emotional. She suddenly felt like crawling into his lap and bawling all over his chest. She’d missed him. Curse hormones! I’m over you, damn it.

‘Anyway, I’d better get back. Peter’s out there causing havoc, no doubt,’ she said, rising and crossing to the door like a spooked filly. She’d worked too hard to put him behind her to falter at the first real challenge. I will not cry.

‘Wait. Lou …’

Lou stopped at the door, her hand on the knob. ‘Yes?’ she said, a tremble husking her voice, refusing to look back at him.

‘I’m sorry about before,’ he said, joining her at the door. Her body was so close, and his burned hot with memories of how good it had felt to hold her.

‘It’s fine,’ she said briskly, turning the knob and pulling before she gave in to the urge to lean back into him.

‘No,’ he said, pushing the door shut with his hand up high on the frame, keeping it there, his other hand automatically reaching for her hip. He could feel the unfamiliar flare of her abdomen where once had been the jut of bone. ‘It’s not. I was shocked. I acted like a Neanderthal.’

‘Yes, you did.’

There was a moment of silence, of stillness, full of things unsaid. His hand at what used to be her waist was burning a hole in her side.

‘Lou …’

‘Don’t,’ she begged him quietly.

Her hair smelt fantastic, as always, and he wanted to touch it so badly his fingers itched. ‘I missed you,’ he whispered. ‘I missed this,’ he said, removing his hand from her hip and giving in to the urge to feel her hair.

The skin at the nape of her neck broke out in goosebumps as his fingers lingered there a little, before moving down the length of her plait.

‘I’ve dreamt about touching it again. I’d forgotten how heavy it is. How glorious.’

She couldn’t do this. She was going to have a baby in a couple of months. It was no longer just about her. The baby deserved a stable home life. Not some male figure who had too much of his own baggage to commit to them. She had to think even harder about who she let in.

‘Let me out,’ she said, holding on to the last shred of her sanity.

Will sighed, releasing her hair, and stepped away from her.

‘Thank you,’ she said, opening the door hastily and walking out into the cool air outside.

Her office was suddenly hot. Stuffy. She couldn’t breathe. Lydia was hovering outside, and looked relieved when Lou appeared intact. Will took a moment to collect himself, and then stepped out of Lou’s office.

‘Help! I need help in here!’ came a raised voice from one of the bays.

The voice held just the right note of panic, and they ran. Lou, Lydia, Peter and Will, with Lou reaching the bedside first. ‘What’s wrong, Kristy?’

‘I think she’s having an allergic reaction to the penicillin,’ said Kristy, her face pale.

‘Stop it,’ Will ordered as he looked down at the very frightened-looking child in question. The little girl was naked but for a nappy, and had large red welts forming all over her body before their eyes. Her lips were looking very puffy, and Will didn’t need a stethoscope to hear the wheezes coming from the lungs. Anaphylaxis.

‘I’ll get the resus trolley,’ said Peter.

‘Oxygen, adrenaline, phenergan, hydrocortisone and some ventolin,’ Will directed, as everyone sprang into action around him.

Lou drew up and administered the drugs, Lydia attached a sats probe, Peter assembled the ventolin and Kristy took care of the oxygen.

‘How old is she? What’s her diagnosis?’ Will asked.

‘Erica’s eighteen months,’ Lou told him. ‘Cellulitis from a possum bite.’

‘Is this Erica’s first dose?’

‘Second,’ said Kristy.

He nodded. That made sense. Often anaphylactic reactions weren’t seen until the second or subsequent exposure to the particular allergen. Will looked around for a stethoscope and found one being thrust into his hand by Lou. Efficient. He smiled at her gratefully.

The wheezes had reduced markedly, and Will breathed a sigh of relief that they had halted the rapid progress of a condition that could have been fatal in minutes.

‘Let’s get her into the high dependency bay. We’ll special her for the next little while,’ said Lou.

Her hands shook slightly as she helped push the cot to the bay opposite the nurse’s station. Thank God Will had been here. Having an experienced paediatrician in an emergency on Ward Two was a definite bonus.

Will hung around while the nursing team got the little girl settled in her temporary locale.

‘Possum bite?’ he asked as they trooped back into the nurses’ station.

‘Camping with the family,’ explained Peter. ‘Tried to pat one of the friendly possums. It bit her arm.’

‘Ouch.’ Will winced.

‘Hey, Pete,’ said Lydia casually. ‘I’ve an idea. Why don’t you ask our new colleague about the shave?’ She nodded towards Will.

Pete’s eyes lit up. ‘Good idea, Lydia. Brilliant. Just brilliant.’

Pete smiled at Will and rubbed his hands together.

Lydia gave him a baleful smile. ‘What?’ Will said warily.

‘Dr Galligher,’ said Pete, narrowing his eyes speculatively. ‘You do know what they say about bald men, don’t you?’

Will nodded, still wary. ‘Ah, but is it true, Pete?’

‘Never had any complaints.’ Pete winked. ‘But seriously, Shave for a Cure is on in a few weeks, and I just need one more person to agree to have their hair cut.’

‘That’s for the Leukaemia Foundation?’ Will asked.

Pete nodded. ‘I’ve been trying to convince Lou.’

Will looked at Lou and her beautiful hair, completely horrified by Pete’s suggestion. Over my dead body! ‘That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard,’ he said dismissively.

‘No, no,’ Pete said, shaking his head emphatically. ‘Think about it. That plait is famous in this hospital. It’s been part of the history here for years. We’d raise a fortune. People would come from all over the hospital to finally see Lou lose the plait.’

‘Sacrilege.’ Lydia shook her head.

‘Hear, hear,’ agreed Will, suddenly warming to Lydia again.

‘Yes, I can see the signs around the hospital now. “Come see our Lou lose her plait”,’ Pete said, staring at a point in mid-air and flicking his hands to emphasise each word.

‘Are you insane?’ asked Will incredulously. How could the man even think of cutting off Lou’s gorgeous locks?

Lou listened to their conversation about herself and her hair, feeling suddenly invisible. Like a life support system for a head of hair.

‘Oh, come on, there wouldn’t be one person who hadn’t thought about snipping it off as she’s walked past all these years. And it would make such a glorious wig,’ Pete said, lifting Lou’s plait and examining the blend of colours.

‘Ah, excuse me—I am actually standing here in the same room,’ said Lou, bemused by their in-depth discussion.

‘The plait stays,’ Will said firmly.

‘Lou?’ Pete entreated, appealing to his boss one last time.

Lou opened her mouth to graciously decline.

‘No, Pete,’ said Will, even more firmly this time. ‘Absolutely not.’

Lou turned and raised her eyebrow at Will. She knew he’d always been obsessed with her hair, but this was ridiculous. He was looking at her as if he owned her hair. As if he owned her. She felt the early simmer of her blood pick up to a slow boil. Did he really think he actually had a say over what she did with her hair? Or any other part of her body? Did he think he could walk back in after a year and she’d just fall back into her old Will-worshipping ways?

If she was going to hold on to herself and her sanity now Will was back, he had to know that their old dynamic was dead. No more following meekly wherever he led. I am over you, buddy boy. Time to draw a line in the sand.

‘I’ll do it,’ she said, talking to Pete, but looking pointedly at Will.

‘Oh, no,’ gasped Kristy.

‘Lou,’ warned Lydia.

‘Yes!’ Pete rubbed his hands together with glee and picked up a pen.

‘No. Don’t put her down. I’ll do it,’ Will instructed, still holding Lou’s gaze.

Lou broke eye contact. ‘Do not listen to him. Long hair with a baby is not a good combination. I’m doing it.’

‘He doesn’t need you now,’ said Will, placing a stilling hand on Pete’s, hovering above an official form, pen poised. ‘I’ve already volunteered.’

Everyone in the nurses’ station looked at Lou. She felt as if she was in a tennis match, her colleagues looking left and right as they lobbed the bone of contention between them.

She shrugged. ‘You want to as well—fine. But I’m not changing my mind. He can have both of us,’ she said.

‘Lou,’ said Will, looking at the stubborn set of her chin, ‘you’re just trying to prove a point now. You don’t have to do this.’ Will realised his fatal error. By disagreeing, he had goaded her into it.

‘No, my mind is made up. It’s for kids with cancer. I’m the kids’ ward nurse unit manager. It’s a good cause. I normally go along, sponsor everyone, sell raffle tickets, do my bit. But this year I’m going to lead by example.’

Will shook his head, not really able to believe that she was seriously going to go through with it.

‘Are you really going bald?’ asked a mystified Kristy.

‘No.’ Lou laughed, not quite indignant enough to agree to that. ‘But shaved all over. Like Lydia’s Matt. How short does he have his?’ she asked her friend. Lydia’s ten-year-old son always got a crew cut.

‘He usually gets a number four blade,’ Lydia said, almost as horrified as Kristy.

‘Good.’ Lou nodded emphatically. ‘A number four it is.’

Will still couldn’t believe the direction of the conversation. He searched around for something to deter her, one last-ditch effort.

‘Jan will have a fit,’ he said. Lou’s sister probably coveted Lou’s hair even more than he did. Jan had always bemoaned her thin, stringy, can’t-do-anything-with-it hair, especially as Lou’s was the exact opposite.

Lou blinked, and braced herself for the inevitable pain. She heard a slight gasp come from Kristy, and felt rather than saw the sudden tension emanating from Lydia and Pete. It was suddenly deathly quiet, as if the entire ward had chosen that moment to cease all noise and activity.

‘Hardly,’ she said, keeping the gut-wrenching sorrow from her voice. ‘Jan’s dead.’ And she pushed herself off the desk and calmly walked away, before she did something awful—like burst into tears at the unexpected reminder of her sister’s tragic death.

CHAPTER TWO

WILL watched her go, completely dumbfounded. That was twice today she had utterly shocked him. His head rejected the information instantly, but one look at the faces of the others in the nurses’ station and he knew it was true.

‘Lydia?’

She nodded. ‘Jan and Martin died in a light plane crash just over five months ago.’

‘Oh, God, how terrible,’ he said, remembering all the good times he and Lou had had with Jan and Martin. Remembering how close Lou had been to her big sister. And how the couple had doted on Candy. ‘Why didn’t somebody tell me?’

‘Maybe if you’d bothered to check on her at any time during the last year you may have found out,’ Lydia chided.

He looked at Lydia and knew he deserved the criticism. He had deliberately avoided any contact, believing it was best for both of them. And poor Lou had gone through this all alone. No, not alone, he thought, as he looked at her fiercely loyal staff. But still… If he’d only known, he could have. Could have what? Rung? Sent her some flowers? A sympathy card? How trite. He could have come back and comforted her. Gone to the funeral at least.

He left the station and headed directly for her office. He knocked on her door and didn’t wait for her to reply, opening it straight away. Empty. He thumped his hand against the door in frustration. He needed to talk to her about it. To let her know how very, very sorry he was. She might have dropped the bombshell calmly, but he knew her well enough—or at least he had—to know it hid a whole heap of anguish.

He looked at his watch. He was due at Human Resources five minutes ago. But he was coming back this afternoon, for an in-service with Lynne on the computer system. He was torn between what he had to do and what he needed to do, but her disappearing act left him with little choice. Talking with Lou was just going to have to wait until then.

A couple of hours later, after sorting out payroll and rostering issues and lunching with Harold, the Medical Director, Will walked back onto Ward Two. He tried Lou’s office first. Damn it! Not there. He entered the nurses’ station and found Lynne waiting for him, so he sat down with her, completely distracted, while she tried to impart the intricacies of the computer system.

He toyed with the idea of pumping Lynne for information about Lou. There probably wasn’t anything the ward clerk didn’t know about the goings-on at the hospital, and he’d bet his last cent that Lynne knew all there was to know about Jan and Martin. But he restrained himself. Lynne was good at her job, but he abhorred gossip—had been on the nasty end of it, thanks to Delvine—and he would not encourage her.

Will was passing time waiting for Lou’s return, performing some dummy tasks Lynne had set him, when Pete entered the nurses’ station with an inconsolable child. It was a little boy who looked about five, and he was sobbing broken-heartedly.

‘Oh, my,’ said Will, looking up, pleased for any respite from the screen. ‘What do we have here?’ he asked.

‘Josh’s mum has just left to go and pick up his sister from school. He’s a little upset,’ Pete said, sitting on the chair next to Will.

Will raised his eyebrows at Pete’s understatement. The kid looked as if he’d lost a million bucks. ‘Oh, dear,’ said Will. ‘Never mind, mate. She’ll be back soon.’

Josh buried his head in Pete’s shoulder and sobbed louder.

‘So, Pete? Does Josh like magic?’ Will asked, raising his voice a notch and winking at Pete.

‘Ah, no, Will. I don’t think so.’

Josh’s cries started to wane, and he peeked out at Will.

‘Are you sure? Because you do know I’m a magician and a doctor, right?’

‘Really?’ said Pete, fake incredulity dripping from his words. ‘I didn’t know you were a magician as well, Dr Galligher.’

Josh’s sobs were slowly quieting. Lou peeked her head around the corner. She had heard Pete and Will’s efforts to placate the child from halfway down the corridor.

‘Sure.’ Will nodded. ‘In my spare time I’m Captain Incredible.’

Josh’s crying had stopped, and he watched the two men’s magic discussion solemnly. Lou felt a lump rise in her throat. Will was so good with kids. His doctoring method was incredibly unique. He was the kind of doctor who really understood how kids ticked. Maybe it was having a child of his own? But he always had a magic trick up his sleeve, and a dozen different jokes on the tip of his tongue. And it worked—his patients loved him. And so did their parents.

‘Ohhhh. You’re Captain Incredible? I heard he hung around the hospital a lot.’

‘Shh,’ said Will, and winked at Josh. ‘It’s a secret. Can you keep a secret, Josh?’

The little boy looked at Will with starstruck eyes and nodded seriously. ‘Can you really do magic?’ he asked, his voice hushed with awe.

Will grinned at him and moved closer to the little boy. ‘I sure can,’ he said, and pulled a coin out from behind Josh’s ear.

The little boy gasped, and looked at Will as if he was Santa Claus. Lou stifled a laugh at the look of complete hero-worship on Josh’s face as Will made the coin disappear into thin air. Then he held out his two downwards-facing fists and got Josh to choose one, and the coin was miraculously back again.

‘Cool!’ said an excited Josh.

Will laughed. ‘Hey, you want to come over here with me and help me with this computer thing? Captain Incredible isn’t so good with computers. My magic computer wand broke.’

Josh giggled and went eagerly, jumping off Pete’s lap and launching himself onto Will’s. Will swivelled his chair back to the screen and showed Josh a few different things to try. He did have a vaguely horrible thought that if Josh pushed the wrong button the entire hospital computer system could go down, but what were the chances? Josh was happy. And Lynne wasn’t here to mind.

Lou watched Will a little longer. He’d taken a crying, fretting child and turned his fears around in minutes. If ever there was someone born to their field it was him. Josh obviously thought he was the bee’s knees. She remembered a time when she’d thought that too.

‘Hey, Lou,’ said Stuart Myers, coming up behind her and almost scaring her half to death. She noticed Will turn and spot her as she greeted the registrar.

‘Hi, Stu,’ she said, ‘what brings you down to Ward Two?’ She tried to keep her voice casual, and not betray the fact that she’d been spying on Will.

‘The boss,’ he said, and nodded towards Will.

Lou glanced over at Will as he nodded back. She looked back at Stu, ignoring Will’s heavy gaze. ‘You’re doing the paed rotation now?’ she asked. Lou had spoken with Stuart quite frequently not long after she and Will had split regarding surrogacy, as he’d been working an IVF rotation at the time.

‘Yep. More my cup of tea,’ he said.

‘I agree.’ She grinned. Stu was up there with Will as far as rapport with kids went.

‘I just wanted to say that I’m really happy you went ahead with the surrogacy idea. I’m pleased it was successful. It was such a marvellous gift for your sister,’ he said, placing his hand on her stomach. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that she’s since died.’

Lou saw Will out of the corner of her eye and knew instantly he had heard the conversation. Hell. Damn Stu! She monitored Will’s reaction as if it was happening in slow motion. His back stiffened, he stopped swivelling idly on the chair and his eyes narrowed.

‘Pete,’ Will said, ‘can you keep on eye on Josh, please? Lou and I need to talk.’

Pete looked at Lou, then back at Will, then at Lou again. She sighed and nodded at him.

‘Come on, matey,’ Pete said, hauling Josh off Will’s lap. ‘Mummy will be back soon.’ The boy didn’t protest, waving at Will as Pete walked him back to his bed.

‘Stuart. Would you mind if I spoke to Lou before we get to our business?’ he asked.

‘Not at all,’ said Stu. ‘I have to go to Accident and Emergency to insert an IV. Can you page me when you’re ready?’

Will nodded, and they both watched Stu leave the ward. He brushed past her, opened the door to her office and indicated for her to precede him. Will waited for the door to click shut behind him before he said a word.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

Lou wasn’t fooled by his calmly delivered question. He was mad. She could tell by the whiteness of his knuckles as he leant against the desk, and the rigidity of his facial muscles, and the way a little nerve jumped spasmodically near his left eye.

She sighed. ‘Will—’

‘Why, Lou? Why lead me to believe that you’d been involved with someone else?’

‘Actually, Will, I didn’t. If you remember correctly, you jumped to a certain conclusion because my pregnancy came as a shock and you were angry that I’d replaced you.’

He opened his mouth to deny it, and then closed it again. She’d pretty much hit the nail right on the head with her quick summation.

‘You didn’t disabuse me,’ he pointed out.

‘Why should I have? The first time I see you again after a year you accuse me of hopping from your bed to someone else’s. I wasn’t exactly feeling very friendly towards you.’

‘I’m sorry, Lou,’ he said, sitting down in a chair and pulling his tie a little looser. ‘I was a jerk.’

‘Damn right you were,’ she said, lowering herself into her chair too.

‘I was … gobsmacked. I engaged my mouth before my brain caught up.’

‘You should have known I’m not capable of doing that. You were my everything for five years. You ending it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Other than burying my sister, of course. You really think I could just jump into bed with somebody else? You know I abhor casual sex.’

Will heard the frustration and sadness in her voice, and her supreme disappointment in him. ‘I must admit it didn’t quite ring true about the Louise Marsden that I knew.’

‘And yet still you believed?’

He shrugged. ‘I’m really sorry, Lou.’

‘You know, the crazy thing is that you could have known all along about my surrogacy and about Jan if you’d just bothered to keep in contact with anyone from here. Neither is exactly a secret in this place. I mean, we agreed to make a clean break, but cutting yourself off completely wasn’t entirely necessary.’

‘I didn’t,’ he protested. ‘I kept up with your news. Candy read me your letters. They were the highlight of my week, actually.’

Lou suppressed the impulse to laugh hysterically, because a part of her was touched that her chipper newsy ravings, targeted for eight-year-old eyes, had meant something to him. But they’d hardly been representative of her life.

She had written to Candy every week because she had promised her she would. She had written no matter how wretched she had felt. When her heart had been aching for Will, she’d written. When she’d barely been able to move from the toilet with morning sickness, she’d written. When her sister was dead and she’d been unable to see the lines on the paper through her tears, she’d written. And she hadn’t missed a week, despite the state of her emotions. In fact, her letters to Candy had been just about the only thing at times that had kept her focused on putting one foot in front of the other. They had been chatty and bright, even when things were falling apart.

Lou’s life in the year since their split had been like a rollercoaster ride. After the break-up she’d drifted along for a while on the flat, trying to pretend that everything was okay. And then there’d been the steep but exciting ascent as IVF and fertility treatments resulted in a pregnancy for Jan and Martin. Their pure and utter joy at finally becoming parents had had her flying high.

And then the horrible stomach-dropping plummet when news of the plane crash had reached her and she’d realised not only had she lost her darling sister, but the baby would never know its real parents.

‘Well, I did censor them quite a bit,’ she said sarcastically.

‘Obviously.’

‘Did you seriously expect me to tell your daughter that Jan was dead in a letter? Or that I was having a baby? My sister’s baby?’

‘No,’ he said, raking his hand through his hair. ‘Of course not.’

Lou felt the familiar burn under her ribcage start up and stretched herself out, her elbow resting on the back of her chair to make a little more room. She absently rubbed the curve of her ribs where bump met bone. Sometimes she could have sworn she felt a foot up there.

‘You okay?’ he asked, indicating where she was rubbing.

‘Yes,’ she dismissed. ‘There’s just not a lot of room for movement these days.’ The burning sensation eased, and she removed her arm and sat up straight again.

‘Tell me about the surrogacy,’ he said. ‘They were still trying IVF when I left.’

She nodded. ‘Jan had a hysterectomy the week after you took up the remote paediatrician position. It was a hard decision for them to come to, but after years of crippling pain and bleeding, with her endometriosis and regular blood transfusions due to her chronic anaemia, she couldn’t take it any more. She was forty, with three failed IVF attempts and two miscarriages. She just couldn’t go through another period from hell.

‘They spoke to me before they went ahead with the op and asked if I would be interested in being a surrogate for them. They still had fertilised embryos, and they thought I might be interested in helping them achieve their goal.’

‘And you said yes?’

‘Of course.’ Lou nodded. ‘Without hesitation. At thirty-five I was pretty sure I was never going to have my own …’ Lou deliberately didn’t look at Will. ‘And … she was my sister. She would have done it for me.’

‘And so … you were okay with having the baby inside you for nine months, growing it, nurturing it, and then just handing it over at the end?’

‘Absolutely one hundred per cent okay. It wasn’t my baby to keep.’

‘Is it really that simplistic?’

Lou nodded emphatically. ‘It’s her egg and his sperm. It’s their baby. It’s their genetic material. I’m just incubating it for them. Could I have done it if it had had my own genetic material? No. But to be able to give them their own baby after all their problems—nothing has ever been simpler.’

‘And how does that work legally?’

‘Grey area,’ she said. ‘Legally I’m recognised as the mother, so Jan and Martin would have had to have officially adopted the baby.’

‘And now? Now they’re gone? You didn’t exactly sign up for this, did you?’

Lou gave him a sad smile. ‘No. Not really. But you know, this is my sister’s baby, and whether I like it or not the law recognises me as its mother. And,’ she said firmly, daring him with her eyes to argue, ‘I’m going to give it the best damn life I can.’

Will felt his heart swell with pride at her selfless generosity. He’d always been proud to know Louise Marsden, but this was the icing on the cake. She was doing something completely selfless. Completely worthy. Lou had been through so much in the time he’d been away. Such a momentous year. And then an awful thought struck him. ‘Did they know you were pregnant before the accident?’

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