About the Author

ALISON ROBERTS lives in Christchurch, New Zealand. She began her working career as a primary school teacher, but now juggles available working hours between writing and active duty as an ambulance officer. Throwing in a large dose of parenting, housework, gardening and pet-minding keeps life busy and teenage daughter Becky is responsible for an increasing number of days spent on equestrian pursuits. Finding time for everything can be a challenge, but the rewards make the effort more than worthwhile.

Look out for Alison’s latest great novel, Her Baby Out of the Blue, also available in November 2009.

Twins for Christmas

Alison Roberts

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Dear Reader,

Christmas … Merry Christmas. Happy Christmas. Christmas Blessings. The word invokes emotion, doesn’t it? A sense of caring. Being able to show that you care for the people you love and for others that might be in trouble.

An emergency department is not where anyone wants to be on Christmas Eve. This particular emergency department on the outskirts of London is certainly not where my hero, Rory, wants to be because … well … Kate’s there, isn’t she? And she’s pregnant and clearly he isn’t the father.

It’s not where a busload of orphans want to be, either, but there’s magic in the air.

Christmas magic. I hope some rubs off on you.

Happy reading!

Love

Alison

CHAPTER ONE

‘GOOD grief! It can’t be—’

Kate Simpson glanced up from the computer screen in time to see the back of a tall man who must have climbed out from the back of the ambulance in the bay to give the crew space to unload their patient.

‘Of course it isn’t,’ she told Judy.

Her colleague’s eyebrows rose at her tone. ‘Looked like him for a sec, though, didn’t it?’

Kate shrugged, pretending interest in the screensaver that had just kicked in on the screen in front of her. Santa’s sleigh, being pulled by ridiculously happy-looking reindeer, emerged from one side of the screen and then took a circuitous route to the other side amidst snowflakes and the soft jingle of bells. A clock in the bottom right corner of the screen ticked off the countdown until Christmas Day. Five hours and fifty-nine minutes to go.

Of course it wasn’t him.

How many times, she reminded herself, had she caught a glimpse of a masculine figure with some feature familiar enough to make her heart miss a beat? Broad shoulders, perhaps, or dark hair. Even a hand with elegantly long fingers or a way of moving with quiet confidence.

How many times had she taken a second glance and felt the weight of disappointment? An echo of the loss she’d never really had the right to feel in the first place.

‘You OK, Kate?’

‘I’m fine. Why?’

‘I dunno. You look kind of … sad.’

‘Bored, more like. I’m not cut out to be a receptionist, and it’s so qu—’

‘Don’t!’ Judy held up her hand in a stop signal and the quick movement of her head made her festive bell earrings jingle. ‘Don’t you dare say the Q word! I’m off duty in an hour and I’ve still got Christmas shopping to finish.’

Kate smiled. ‘OK. So far I’ve logged in one broken ankle, a kid with tonsillitis and a septic finger. It’s … shall we say … restful?’

‘Restful is exactly what you need. You should be at home with your feet up.’

‘I’d rather be doing the job I’m trained for, thanks.’

‘You can’t get close enough to a bed to take a pulse unless you turn sideways. Anyone would think you were carrying triplets instead of just twins.’ Judy turned to look out through the double doors ringed with bright red and green tinsel that led to the ambulance bay. ‘They’re taking their time.’

‘Probably finishing their patient report form or something. Can’t be urgent.’ Kate had been resisting taking that second glance. The one that was such an ingrained habit after so many months. Her soft sigh was an admission of defeat. It was too compelling to resist.

What was it about the man still standing out there as the paramedics finally lifted a stretcher from the back of the vehicle? The sense of him listening, for want of a better word, she decided. Standing so patiently when it had to be freezing, with the sleet that now appeared to be thickening into real snow falling heavily just beyond the overhang. He gave the impression of waiting but still being active. Absorbing everything happening around him. Ready to act on information instantly if necessary. A sense of control. That was what it was. He might be wearing civvies, but you’d pick him as the person in charge.

No. Kate gave herself a mental shake. It couldn’t be him. She didn’t want it to be. Not now. Not when she finally felt in control of her life enough to be looking forward to the future. She transferred her gaze to the patient propped up on the stretcher as the double doors slid open to admit the new arrivals to the emergency department of St Bethel’s Hospital—a choice made easy by the fact that the paramedics were now blocking the figure of the man accompanying the frail-looking, elderly female patient.

Judy moved to the other side of the reception desk to do her assigned task of triage, which meant that she would greet the patient, listen to the hand-over and decide where the patient should be taken first.

Kate’s job was to collect the copy of the patient report form that had the patient details, input them into the computer program, then order sticky labels and request notes from previous admissions if appropriate.

Except that the small entourage had moved enough to reveal the man again, and she couldn’t stop staring because it was him.

Rory.

He was staring back at her, his expression unreadable. He couldn’t be as shocked as she was because he’d had the advantage of being prepared for the possibility of this encounter, hadn’t he? No surprises there. He’d always had the advantage over her.

He looked … as gorgeous as ever. A little thinner, perhaps. Different. But that could be because he was wearing clothes he would never have come to work in. Black jeans. A leather jacket over a black fisherman’s jersey. His hair was longer than she remembered, and there were beads of moisture caught in the dark waves. Melting snowflakes? No wonder they were melting. Had something gone wrong with the heating in here?

The voice of the paramedic telling Judy about the patient was a background blur of sound, only partially comprehensible.

‘… seventy-two-year-old woman…. Parkside Rest Home … Advanced Alzheimer’s …’

Kate hadn’t set eyes on this man for six months. No one had. Rory McCulloch had simply vanished. One minute he’d been the senior consultant of this very department and the next he had been … gone.

The day after she’d … After they’d …

‘Query urinary tract infection,’ the paramedic was telling Judy now. ‘She’s tachycardic with a heart rate of one twenty. Pyrexic—temperature’s thirty-nine.’

The woman being discussed made an alarmed cry, and Rory looked away from Kate. He stepped forward to touch the woman. A gentle touch on her forehead, smoothing long strands of nearly white hair from her face. It was an action that spoke of familiarity and deep affection.

‘She’s more confused than usual,’ he said to Judy. ‘And she’s had quite severe abdominal pain. She had five milligrams of morphine, but I’m not convinced it’s reduced the pain scale significantly.’

Judy’s jaw had dropped as she turned her gaze to the speaker.

‘Dr McCulloch! It is you! Oh … my goodness. You’re back!’

‘Briefly,’ he conceded. ‘This is my mother—Marcella.’

‘Oh …’ Judy was looking around the department now, as though searching for a suitably senior staff member to take charge of this case. ‘Let’s put Mrs McCulloch in Resus 2,’ she told the paramedics. ‘We’re quiet enough for the moment.’

The triage nurse was so flustered she didn’t even notice she’d uttered the banned Q word. The stretcher lurched into movement, but then stopped as the woman cried out again in fright.

‘Jamie! Where are you?’ Then her tone changed to one of terror. The language also changed and became a frantic babble. What was she speaking? Was Rory’s mother Italian?

That might explain why Rory had never looked as Scottish as his name and the slight lilt of his voice suggested. Why his hair was so dark and his skin so olive and his eyes that amazing chocolate-brown.

Rory took a stride to catch up with the stretcher, his face set in lines so grim it took Kate straight back to that night. The night before he’d disappeared. Her heart gave the same kind of squeeze it had then. A kind of pain. Wanting to know what was so wrong.

Wanting to make it better.

He took his mother’s hand, saying something soothing in the same language, but she clung to him, tears coursing down a face so lined it made her look much older than she apparently was.

‘Jamie,’ she sobbed. ‘Dio mio … Don’t leave me!’

‘I won’t,’ he said. ‘Shh, now, Mamma. It’s all right.’

Judy frowned. ‘Why—?’

A quick glance from Rory coupled with a tiny shake of his head was enough to stop the obvious question. The triage nurse regrouped.

‘Kate, have you got all the information you need?’

Kate finally looked at the copy of the paperwork the ambulance crew had left on the desk in front of her. She scanned the details.

‘Is the Parkside Rest Home her permanent address?’

‘Yes.’ The word was clipped and gave nothing away about whether Rory was happy with where his mother resided.

‘Has she had any recent admissions to hospital?’

‘Not that I’ve been informed about. I’ve been out of the country for six months.’

‘Yes.’ Kate’s mouth felt dry. ‘So you have.’

She couldn’t help looking up to catch his gaze, and then she couldn’t look away. Was there a message there? Remorse? An apology?

No. But there was something. An intensity that made her feel as flustered as poor Judy had been when she’d tempted fate by uttering the Q word.

‘I’ll come and talk to you if I find I need anything else,’ she said, dropping her gaze.

Rory gave a curt nod at the dismissal and followed the stretcher into one of the well-equipped resuscitation bays.

Hopefully she wouldn’t need anything else. If she had to get up from this chair and move beyond the screen of the counter he would realise why she wasn’t on active duty tonight. The bagginess of the tunic top of her uniform was no longer enough to disguise her impressive bump.

Her heart was racing as she considered the implications. This was no way to learn of impending fatherhood. What would he say? Would he be angry that she hadn’t told him earlier? A lot, lot earlier?

But how could she have when he’d simply vanished? Resigned from his job and walked away without leaving even a forwarding address. People had talked about it for weeks. Made jokes about interplanetary abductions. Asked, far more seriously, where Dr Rory McCulloch could possibly have needed to go in such a hurry. And why?

Maybe some of those questions would be answered tonight. Word was spreading fast. Kate saw the man who was now in charge of the department, Braden Foster, shaking Rory’s hand and greeting him like a long-lost friend. Nurses were flocking to the bay, vying for the privilege of caring for his mother. Some things certainly hadn’t changed. Even Judy had gravitated in that direction, leaving Kate alone at the desk.

The prettiest nurses had always made themselves available to Rory McCulloch in the two years Kate had worked in St Bethel’s. She had always been in the background. A bit short and round and plain. Just like her name. Nondescript. Invisible.

Until that amazing night …

The radio behind the desk crackled into life and Kate reached for the microphone.

‘St Bethel’s—emergency department,’ she responded. ‘Receiving you loud and clear.’

‘How are you placed for multiple casualties?’

Kate didn’t need to look around to know how ‘restful’ the department was. ‘How many?’ she queried briskly. ‘And what status?’

‘We’ve got a mini-bus from the Castle that’s gone down a bank.’

‘Oh, my God!’ Kate couldn’t help the unprofessional response. The Castle was actually an old stone house just a few miles from St Bethel’s on the outskirts of London. It’s owner, Mary Ballantyne, had been well-known in the district for many years, welcoming all the orphans and foster children she could manage into her home. It had been one of ‘her’ children, so impressed with his new accommodation, who had announced he was now living in a castle, and the name had stuck. The house—and Mary—were a local legend.

‘Ten children on board,’ the voice of the person from the emergency services continued. ‘And Mary was driving. Maybe half of them are injured, and a couple look serious, but we haven’t extricated everybody yet. It would be preferable if we could bring them all to the same hospital, and St Bethel’s is closest.’

‘Of course.’ Kate took a deep breath. ‘Bring them here. We’ll be ready.’

They would be—but Kate’s first task was to alert the trauma team, who would clear the resuscitation bays, gather equipment and put the other staff on standby.

To do that she had to tell Braden Foster what was happening, and the department’s head consultant was still talking to Rory about his mother.

There was no time to consider the implications. Kate stood up and moved from behind the shelter of her desk. She walked into Resus 2.

‘Dr Foster? There’s a multiple casualty incident in progress on the motorway and we’re the closest casualty department.’

Both men in front of her were staring. Braden Foster was looking at her face.

‘How many?’

‘Possibly eleven. The mini-bus from the Castle has gone over a bank.’

Judy’s voice carried to the now silent staff around them, and it was an echo of Kate’s reaction to the news.

‘Oh, my God! On Christmas Eve? That’s awful!’

‘Put Mrs McCulloch in one of the cubicles,’ Dr Foster ordered. ‘Let’s get her bloods off and a urine specimen before we get too busy. Put out a call for everyone in the trauma team, would you, please, Kate?’

Kate nodded and turned—but not before she glanced at Rory. She was too aware that he was still staring at her. He seemed to sense her gaze and lifted his own. He might not have been shocked at seeing her on his arrival, but he certainly was now.

Kate held his gaze for just a heartbeat as she watched his mental calculations. Remembering dates. Counting weeks.

Yes, she told him silently. I’m just over six months pregnant.

And you’re the father.

CHAPTER TWO

SHE was pregnant.

No wonder she had looked different when he’d seen her sitting at the desk. Rounder. Softer. The soft waves of her hair that almost touched her shoulders had been catching the light and shining like a golden halo. If it was true that pregnancy gave all women a special glow, then Kate had turned it up a notch. She shone as brightly as the light at the end of a very long tunnel.

The way he had remembered her being anyway—but she was pregnant.

Enormously pregnant. Way more than six months along, so she must have already been pregnant that night.

And that hurt, dammit, because the memory of that night had been the single bright note in those first dark weeks.

Rory had to help hold his mother’s arm still while blood was drawn for the necessary tests. And the insertion of a catheter was the only way they’d be able to obtain a urine specimen from a patient who couldn’t co-operate because she had no understanding of where she was. Or why. It was a miserable but mercifully short period of time.

‘It’s all right, Mamma. It’ll be over soon. You’re being brave.’

He managed to keep up a stream of soothing words, in both English and his mother’s native Italian, even as he reeled from the shock of seeing Kate’s condition—as unexpected as it had been to be bringing his only living relative here tonight.

He hadn’t questioned the destination. He’d already made the demand for extra medical attention for his mother and, given that he no longer carried any authority within this medical hierarchy, it had seemed prudent to put up with what might be a difficult time revisiting St Bethel’s. If he was honest, part of him really wanted the opportunity to see Kate Simpson again, but he’d been wary. He knew quite well he might have made her into something she wasn’t.

A life-saver.

Some kind of saint. An angel, even.

He’d known he’d have to face the probability that she wasn’t all that he had built her up to be in his head—and his heart. But not like this. Not this slap in the face that told him she’d been already pregnant by another man that night. That her words and her touch and the … love he’d felt had not been genuine.

As if it wasn’t bad enough to have his mother’s illness tipping her to a place where she was convinced that her prayers had been answered and she had her precious Jamie with her again. Now Rory also had to deal with the most precious thing he’d had in his life for the last six months being exposed as a fraud. As a dream that had no basis in reality.

The tiny Christmas tree on the central desk, beside a donation box for some worthy cause, caught Rory’s eye as he slumped farther into the chair beside his mother’s bed when the blood test had been completed. He closed his eyes for a moment as he put a hand to his forehead and pressed on both temples—his thumb on one side of his head, his middle finger on the other side.

Merry Christmas, he told himself bitterly.

Merry bloody Christmas!

He looked as though he was wishing himself a million miles away from this place.

Why? Because he had to face the prospect of fatherhood? Of her being the mother of his children?

Well, tough! Kate’s face tightened as she moved swiftly past the cubicle the McCullochs were in, making her way to join Judy as she spotted the arrival of the first ambulance from the scene of the accident involving the mini-bus full of children. Two stretchers and some ambulatory patients were being ushered into the department by paramedics and police officers.

It was probably all for the best that she had no choice but to ignore Rory and his distress right now. He needed time. She’d had more than enough to get her head around the new direction her life was going in, and she’d come to terms with it. More than accepted it. She already loved these babies. Passionately.

That love was comforting to remember. Empowering. And for the first time Kate realised she actually had the advantage. In a neat twist of fate, she wasn’t going to be in the background, watching other women claim Rory’s attention. Eventually he was going to have to seek her out so that they could talk about this. Or she would find him. It didn’t matter, because she was in control.

It was something that might have thrown her completely six months ago, but Lord knows she’d had more than enough practice in discriminating between fantasy and reality. She was an expert. There was no danger of having that control undermined by any hope that her situation would magically change.

Hope got crushed.

It was only when you removed the fuel from unrequited love that it had any chance of burning out.

And the easiest way to remove it was to focus on something else entirely.

Like the teenaged girl on one of the stretchers. Her lower leg was splinted and propped up on a pillow. One arm was also splinted and in a sling. She was sobbing hysterically.

‘This is Helen,’ a paramedic informed them. ‘She’s sixteen years old and has a fractured right tib and fib and a Colles’ fracture of her right wrist.’

‘Vital signs?’

‘All within normal limits.’

‘Resus 3,’ Judy directed.

‘Noooo,’ the girl sobbed. ‘Don’t take me away from Danni.’

Judy was already moving to the second stretcher as she did her job of triage.

‘Who’s Danni?’ Kate queried.

‘This is. Danielle.’ An older woman was standing beside a policewoman. She had a pale face and a bloodstained bandage on her head. She was holding a wailing toddler. ‘She’s Helen’s baby.’

‘Is she injured?’

‘They didn’t think so at the scene,’ the policewoman responded. ‘And Florence insisted she was OK to come with her.’

Kate eyed the older woman. ‘You know these children?’

‘Yes. I’m the housekeeper up at the Castle.’

‘Great. You’ll be able to help me with the information I’ll need.’ Kate was all too aware of the need to start gathering that information and filling in paperwork before it got out of hand with this influx of new arrivals.

Another paramedic was handing a new case to Judy, just behind her.

‘Wally’s twelve and he was KO’ed. Unconscious for possibly ten minutes. Responsive, but his GCS is down to thirteen. Repetitive speech pattern and some nausea.’

‘Wally?’ Judy crouched beside the boy, who lay flat on his back with a hard collar protecting his neck. ‘Do you know where you are, love?’

‘We’ve been at a party.’ A white grin appeared in a very dark small face. ‘Christmas. Da-da-da … Da-da-da …’

It was a tuneless rendition of what sounded like ‘Jingle Bells’. Judy caught Kate’s glance and they smiled.

‘Resus 4,’ Judy directed, with another glance at Kate, who nodded. Resus 1 needed to be kept free in case more seriously injured victims arrived.

Helen was still sobbing, and the ambulance crew were unsure of whether to increase her distress by separating her from her child.

Kate crouched down, which was no easy task these days. She had to catch the bar on the side of the stretcher to keep her balance.

‘The doctors need to take care of you,’ she told the girl. ‘And we’re going to take very good care of Danni for you.’

‘Is she all right?’ Helen grabbed Kate with her uninjured hand. ‘Oh … God! I couldn’t hold onto her, and I tried … I really tried …’

‘I know, sweetheart,’ Kate said. ‘We’ll check her out thoroughly. Try not to worry. You need to trust us.’ She squeezed Helen’s hand. ‘Can you do that, do you think?’

There was anguish in the girl’s eyes, but she nodded. What choice did she have? The poor girl was hardly more than a child herself, but the bond she had with her baby was palpable. It wasn’t helping either of them to be hearing the other sobbing so miserably.

‘Good girl.’ Kate smiled. ‘Now, take a deep breath for me. And another one.’

Helen complied, controlling her sobs with difficulty. ‘I—I’m sorry.’

‘You don’t have anything to be sorry for.’ Kate gave her hand another squeeze before heaving herself upright again. ‘Let the doctors take care of you, and we’ll have you back together with your little girl just as soon as we can, OK?’

Helen nodded again, her lips clamped shut on another sob as she was wheeled away. Wally was still singing as he was taken to the team waiting to assess and treat him.

‘Could you put Florence and Danni into a cubicle, please, Kate?’ Judy was writing furiously on the big whiteboard, putting the names of the patients into boxes that would track where they were and what treatment was underway. ‘I’ll find a doctor to come and see them. Oh, and could you check on Mrs McCulloch? Do her vitals if you get a chance. I think her nurse is caught up in resus now. I’ll try and get someone in to cover the paperwork.’

An empty stretcher was on its way back to the desk. ‘You can expect the next ambulance in about ten minutes,’ a paramedic said. ‘Possibly longer. The driver and another child were still trapped when we left. The fire service is working on getting them out.’

It wasn’t so much of a shock being close to Rory this time. Her skin still prickled, and there was that odd feeling deep inside her belly that had nothing to do with any movement from all those tiny limbs in there, but Kate could cope.

She had to.

She fitted a clean earpiece to the tympanic thermometer. ‘So, your mother’s Italian?’

‘Yes.’

‘I never knew that.’

‘Why would you?’

Why indeed? But the curt response was unnecessary. Unkind. Kate concentrated on her task and inserted the earpiece as gently as she could, but Marcella stirred and moaned.

Rory said something to his mother in Italian. Something so soothing that Kate could feel the words rumbling into her bones. No wonder his mother’s eyes drifted shut again.

‘Temperature’s thirty-eight point four.’ Kate reached for the chart on the end of the bed. ‘It’s coming down.’

‘Good.’

Kate carefully wrapped a blood pressure cuff around the elderly woman’s arm, trying not to wake her. She felt for a pulse, keeping her eyes firmly on what she was doing, because she really didn’t want eye contact with Rory. He was giving the impression that he considered this to be her fault.

Fair enough—to a point—but, unlike many, she had never chased this man. Never let him know even by a glance how she felt about him. She’d certainly never, ever expected to share her bed with him. And, yes, it was her fault as much as his that they hadn’t used any protection, but the possibility of pregnancy had seemed as unreal as everything else about that night.

Kate pumped up the cuff and let it down slowly, listening for a pulse to reappear. She took her time, because she would have to look up when she’d finished and she could feel Rory staring at her.

Sounds from the adjacent cubicle were muffled, but still audible. A junior doctor was talking to Florence.

‘How old is she?’

‘Nearly two.’

‘And she lives at the Castle?’

‘Yes. Her mum, Helen, came when she was fourteen and pregnant. She’s still living there. She helps with the other kids and gives me a hand with the cleaning and so forth.’

Kate unhooked the stethoscope and wrote down the blood pressure. Then she put her fingers back on Marcella’s wrist to time her heart rate.

‘How many children at the home at present?’ the doctor was asking Florence.

‘Nine—if you count Danni, here. Ten if you count Helen—and she’s still a child, really, poor lamb.’

‘And you were at a Christmas party?’

‘Yes. Big charity do where they give us sacks of gifts for the children. They’re still in the back of the bus. Oh, no! You don’t think someone will steal them, do you?’

‘I’m sure the police will take care of that. Danni seems fine. Let’s have a look at that head of yours.’

Kate could hear the noise level in the department increasing, presumably due to a new wave of arrivals, but that wasn’t what made her brow furrow in concern.

‘Is your mother’s pulse normally irregular?’

‘Yes. She has chronic atrial fibrillation.’

‘I might see if I can find a twelve-lead ECG machine that’s free. I’ll check to see if any results are back on those tests as well.’

‘You might be needed more urgently elsewhere.’

‘Help!’ someone was shouting. ‘Help me …’

‘It hurts!’ a child’s voice cried. ‘It really, really hurts!’

It was a cry that would have torn anybody’s heart. Kate looked up deliberately to catch Rory’s gaze.

‘You could help,’ she heard herself suggesting. ‘While your mum’s asleep.’

‘No.’ The word was a harsh dismissal. ‘I’m no longer a doctor, Kate. It’s out of the question.’

She stared at him. This wasn’t the man she knew. Or thought she knew. The brilliant doctor who’d never missed a beat, no matter how much pressure he was under. The leader who had thrived on coping and still being fanatically careful with his treatment of every patient. The physician whose diagnostic abilities were a legend and his skills with highly invasive procedures even more so. The man colleagues had admired and respected. That patients had adored. That women had fallen in love with.

Like Kate had.

And to ignore a child like the one who had just cried out! She’d seen him with children in the past. He’d always gone to whatever lengths were necessary to help a child.

Who was this man? The lines on his face were as uncompromising as his tone had been. The topic was clearly not open for discussion, but surely Kate had the right to know?

‘You left medicine? Just walked away?’

‘That’s exactly what I did.’

‘What have you been doing?’

‘Not that it’s any of your business,’ Rory said coldly, ‘but I’ve been building roads. New mining development in the south of Australia.’

No wonder he looked so tanned and lean. Toughened by a harsh climate and physically demanding work.

‘But … why?’ The word came out as a whisper. It just didn’t make sense.

Marcella stirred, probably disturbed by the now chaotic noise level in the department.

‘Jamie?’

The change in Rory was subtle, but Kate didn’t miss any of it. She’d had too much practice watching this man in the past. She saw what amounted to physical pain at hearing the wrong name. She could see the instant tension in his body, the shadow in his eyes, and it reminded her so strongly of the trouble he’d been in that night.

She was no closer to understanding what it was all about, but—stupidly—she still wanted to help. She almost reached out to touch him. To convey that desire. What stopped her was seeing the fierce determination in his face. Confidence. So something had changed in the months he’d been gone. Whatever it was, and however hard it might be, Rory could deal with this by himself this time. He didn’t need her comfort.

‘Leave it, Kate,’ he said wearily. ‘It really is none of your business.’

‘Oh?’ The tension had been contagious, and Kate didn’t have access to whatever inner strength Rory had just tapped into.

And, yes, the fantasy of seeing the dawning joy in his face on learning he was soon to be the father of twins was over-the-top, to say the least, but to reject her like this was unfair.

Unacceptable, really.

Maybe it wasn’t any of her business, but Kate could at least live up to her responsibilities. She could do what should have been done a long time ago.

‘It might be helpful if you could leave some kind of forwarding address the next time you decide to vanish,’ she said.

‘Why?’

Kate’s smile was wry. ‘So that I can let you know when your children are born.’

CHAPTER THREE

‘CHILDREN?’

The colour in Rory’s face was draining, but Kate’s gaze didn’t falter.

‘Twins,’ she confirmed.

‘Kate?’

Judy’s voice was coming from behind the curtain screening the cubicle, but something had clicked for Kate. Something important.

‘It’s in your family, isn’t it?’ She didn’t give Rory time to respond. ‘You have a twin. That’s why your mother keeps calling you Jamie.’

‘Kate?’ The curtain was twitching now, but Kate was still watching Rory. Seeing the pain that darkened his eyes to an impenetrable black.

‘Had.’ His voice was so low and raw the words were almost inaudible. ‘He died. A long time ago.’

‘Kate? We need help in Resus 1. I know you’re supposed to be on light duties, but are you up for it?’

‘Of course.’

Judy’s glance turned to Rory. ‘Dr Foster asked me to bring you, too, if possible, Dr McCulloch. It’s a Code Red.’

Meaning that this was a crisis. They had more serious cases than they could safely handle with the staff they had available.

Rory shook his head.

‘We can find someone to sit with your mother. Now that she’s started antibiotics there’s not much more we can do for the moment.’

‘No,’ Rory said aloud. ‘I can’t help you. I’m sorry.’

Judy stared with the same incredulity Kate had experienced only a minute ago. She flicked Kate a ‘what on earth is going on?’ kind of look, but couldn’t linger.

Neither could Kate. But neither could she let Rory get away with dismissing his moral responsibilities like this. He’d taken an oath when he became a doctor. One that Kate considered if not sacred at least equal to the kind of obligation and responsibilities that came with becoming a parent. If he could ignore that oath and the patients that needed him in a situation like this, what sort of father was he going to make to her children?

It simply wasn’t good enough.

‘There are children out there,’ she breathed. ‘Frightened, injured children who thought they were going back to the only home they know to put their Christmas presents under their tree. They need help. Your help.’

It was more than pain in his eyes now. More like agony.

‘You don’t know what you’re asking, Kate.’

‘Yes, I do.’ Kate was already moving. She took a quick glance over her shoulder. ‘And if you can’t do it, you’re not the man I thought you were. And you’re certainly not a father I thought my children could be proud of.’

The sharp stab of discomfort in her chest as Kate walked out of the cubicle felt remarkably like a piece breaking off from her heart.

Or the death of a dream she’d never quite been able to relinquish.

It took less than thirty seconds to get from the cubicle Mrs McCulloch was occupying to the resus bay where she was needed. Ahead of Kate was the job she was trained to do. A job she loved. The complicated and often challenging task of assessing and stabilising the condition of injured or sick people. Trying to reduce suffering. Saving lives.

The pull towards that duty and the desire to perform to the very best of her ability was a powerful force.

But Kate could feel a pull from behind her as well.

A link to the man she was walking away from in disgust.

A voice as compelling as the cry of the injured children was inside her own head. Telling her she was wrong.

Reminding her …

Strange how thirty seconds was long enough for a series of impressions to flash through her mind with such clarity. Or maybe not so strange. So much editing had been done to those memories they were now condensed into a single image that was far more than a picture. It could touch her senses and capture her emotions even when she was wide awake.

Every step Kate took seemed to trigger a new image. Another sense. Following one from another. But the first was an image printed on her heart that never failed to stir something painfully poignant.

The way he had been sitting that night. Alone. On that bench in the little park that was halfway between St Bethel’s and her small apartment.

The sight of a lone man late at night should have frightened Kate. It had—but she hadn’t been afraid for her own safety. She had been alarmed because she’d recognised Rory, and for him to be sitting there like that, so alone, was so completely out of character she’d known something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

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