To be happy is allowed
For women
Tatyana Lozhkina

Tatyana Bukharina Illustrator

Nina Terebkova Proofreader

Natalia Shaverina Editor

© Tatyana Lozhkina, 2020

© Tatyana Bukharina, illustrations, 2020

ISBN 978-5-0051-3392-2

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Summary

What can make a woman so attractive sometimes? What magic keeps her eye shining so brightly? The answer is definitely happiness, which fills your heart and soul. A happy woman emits beauty despite her age!

I’d like you to read this book till the end. Here I’m sharing with you some simple but effective techniques to discover your femininity and open your heart to the world. I’ve already experienced all these methods by myself, and I’m still using many of them. They helped me to increase my female inner strength and to build a close-knit family. So, now I’m peaceful and filled up with happiness! And I want to share with you some “recipes” how to achieve this.

Good luck, my dear ones!

Preface

First of all, I am a happy woman, a wife and a mother of two curious, cheerful girls. The idea to write a book came to me when I was at school. It’s been long since then. And now I’m 40. Perhaps, that’s a kind of new frontier that opens up new verges of your life. “A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them.“And a time to write books!

I’ve passed a long way in my life, just like everyone: kindergarten, school and two universities. Later, I’ve been soaked in a self-development and self- knowledge techniques. As a result, I’ve learned how to build a family, to accept myself and to love my inner child.

Now I do what I want and like. I give online and face-to-face yoga classes for adults and children and write books. I am really grateful for my husband’s support in everything I do. My parents also understand and approve the way I’ve chosen. As we usually say in Russia: “I give them a low bow”!

Honestly, I like being a woman. Yes, a Woman with the capital letter “W”. I like to practice yoga and share my knowledge and experience with others. Especially with women, because I understand them well, at least, I think so. When a woman loves and accepts herself as she is, she understands other people easier.

I like communication and I believe that every person is interesting and is able to bring something new to your life. It is said: “No one is a friend, no one is an enemy – everyone is a teacher.” It’s true to some extent. Every person illustrates his attitude towards you through his behavior, somehow he “mirrors” our inner state and mood.

I have friends and I am so grateful for their support and kindness. But, of course, my best friend is my beloved husband.

Girls were taught and are still taught to achieve something (set aims, solve problems, come across with life difficulties). This is how our grandmothers and mothers lived. Previously, there were difficult times when you had to survive: the war, “perestroika”, “dashing 90s”.

The same with me, I have been going the same path of “reformation” for a long time, and even now I sometimes turn to it. Because that’s how we were brought up, how we were taught. I wanted to be a “good” girl for everyone: my parents, friends, neighbors and colleagues.

Now I’ve given it up! You can’t please everyone, that’s just impossible. It’s time to live for yourself, not for others; to live according to your heart wishes, not listening to your head only. Times are different now and we are surrounded by different energies, so it is quite possible. You should trust yourself and your heart.

One more thing which can help you on your way is the ability to smile whatever happens. It always helped me to go through tough times. Life was always full of challenges and it still has a lot of them. The only thing that you change your attitude to problems over times, it won’t press you that much in the future. And, as a result, you are getting more confident. With a smile your perception of life changes to a better way. When you laugh, even if you’ve got some troubles, all of them turn to be smaller and unimportant.

To be honest, sometimes it was not easy for me to smile. I gave up many times, but “the road is made by walking”! I agree with the opinion that everything in our life happens for a reason. Difficulties make us stronger, wiser, and give mental strength. They help you to understand what acceptance and unconditional love are. I suppose, these are two main things that we can and should learn during our lives. That’s what we were born for.

I always liked writing, expressing my ideas on paper. Sometimes it may turn out something interesting, like this book which you are holding in your hands. That’s my first book, it exists in electronic or paper variant. I can say without exaggeration that it is a unique one. I collected here all the most effective techniques that have helped me. Having used them, I felt like I was filled with precious female energy. I am happy to share these life-giving sources with you!

By the way, in the end of the book, you will get a gift: an interesting method how to attract money to your life. I will tell you how to do it easily, without any specific knowledge. After all, it is not easy to become happy without money in the modern world! Maybe just living somewhere in the forest or on a desert island.

These are my channels, profiles in social networks and on YouTube. Join me!

Vkontakte:  https://vk.com/tanyalozhkina

Group in Vkontakte: “Yoga for women”:  https://vk.com/practiceyogaforwomen

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/prenatalyoga_tatyana

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100034940437664&ref=bookmarks

My channel on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgiXuQ8X_eGnFmtCorZXLiw

My channel on Yandex. Zen:

https://zen.yandex.ru/lozhkina

About the book

In this book, I have collected simple rules that make your life happier and more joyful. I’ve tested all of them on my own experience and I bet they work! The book is a kind of synthesis of what I experienced and all complications I’ve ever come across in my life. I hope this information will be useful and interesting for you.

I started writing this book when my husband and I were having vacation in Thailand. And it was one more exciting adventure in my life. So, it seems to me, that exactly in this state of mind you should write cheerful and easy-to-read texts. I hope that my book will become exactly like that. Cheerfulness gives us strength, desire to move on and to develop yourself. Being an easy-going person helps you to overcome all obstacles and difficulties of life.

Our life is complicated, diverse and absolutely unpredictable. It is hard to guess what will happen tomorrow. So, we can influence our life with the help of our mood and state of mind and even change it in one way or another. But unforeseen events still happen, that’s why a lot of things depend on how we are able to deal with them. I would even say that changing your attitude towards things, you will change circumstances you are surrounded by.

Many things in life depend only on us. People used to say, “God helps those who help yourself.” A person either starts acting somehow, changing the situation or gives it up.

Being a woman is a feeling yourself as a woman, first of all. Therefore, changing her state, a woman can change the reality around her.

I offer you to read my poem about attitude to happiness and life.

Being happy is allowed

Being happy is allowed,

You’d better not to wait for a permission from the outside!

I allow myself to be happy today,

I allow myself to enjoy the life,

I allow myself to enjoy it,

I allow myself to reach out the light,

I allow myself to be the light,

I allow myself to be surprised,

I allow myself to admire

(And even if I admire myself).

I allow myself to show up,

I allow myself to be lost in love,

I allow myself to be loved,

I allow myself to be tender,

I allow myself to be an affection,

I allow myself just to BE,

Expecting nothing in return.

How difficult it can be sometimes,

And everything is because of the fear hidden inside.

Being afraid of not being loved or approved,

Being afraid to be left somewhere behind.

I allow myself to be afraid,

I allow myself to let go this fear,

I let myself wake up,

I let myself fly! And now I’m flying,

I’m flying!

I let go everything that was before

I just believe in myself and in life.

Oh, life, how I love you!

Oh, life, I thank you!

Oh, life, I accept you in all your diversity!

And it is really so!

I. Woman is a universe with its distinctive features and beautiful moments of life in it.

Woman is a heart of a family

Have you ever asked yourself who is a woman? She is the one that creates atmosphere almost everywhere. I believe that each family starts with a woman. You can say that she is like Atlantean who holds an incredible weight of responsibilities and duties on her shoulders. Responsibility for children and the internal environment of her home are the crucial ones and she’s the basis of relationships with her husband.

Many things depend on how you treat yourself. Do you want your beloved ones to be happy and successful, prosperous and replete? Then it is better to start with yourself. Trust your heart without paying attention to somebody’s opinions. We can dare to say that you have to love and accept yourself with all your negative and positive sides and imperfections.

How can you learn this? Personally, I was helped by yoga, which I have been practicing for more than 15 years. During the classes all your attention should be transferred inside your inner world and directed to your feelings. Everything that is external and husk should fade away. Over times, problems and difficulties are getting somehow resolved or lose their significance. So that, life is gradually moving into the right direction, naturally and harmoniously.

In addition, I really like simple meditation techniques which I use almost every morning. They help to light up my daily routines. To begin with, you can start with one and repeat it for 21 days at least 3 times a day. Then go to another one and do the same.

These are the following meditations.

1. By the light of my love, I cancel all negative programs towards my father, my beloved man, to all men. I create a new one, which is constructive and developing for relationships with my father, with my beloved, with all men and I show the light of my love.

2. By the light of my love, I cancel every negative program towards my mother, to myself, to all women. I create a new one which is constructive and developing for relationships with myself, with my mother, with all women and I show the light of my love.

These are strong self-oriented meditations that begin and end with the “light of my love” phrase and this light is given to us at birth. Love is always with us, inside and out. Don’t look for it in your family, friends or others but search for it in you.

Try to practice such meditations and they will certainly bring you great relaxation results, will give a feeling of femininity and confidence.

Billions of women live on our mother planet. Nobody’s alike, we are all different. Therefore, there is no a single path for everybody, there’s no equal borders. Only some rough outline helps women to move on.

Every experience of your life is unique and inimitable and life is so special. Don’t despair if you can’t achieve something straightaway. The old saying tells: “In the end things will mend.” Try to stay calm and be wise, then you will definitely learn something useful from today’s life lesson.

I am grateful for I was born a woman. This is a very interesting experience. I am grateful for every woman or man I’ve met in my life.

The art of living and loving like a woman

We are all different, extremely different. So, living with a man and loving him can be compared with an art. The art of love means acceptance of a person as he/she is. Quite often we try to redo or at least to correct our partners. It seems, he does a lot of things wrong and he could certainly do better!

Everyone wants to realize himself in life and save his identity at the same time. But not everyone is ready to accept another person with his specific character features, points of views and wishes.

You must agree that it’s not easy at all. And you will be absolutely right. But all the same, we are here to learn how to live and love, to make this world more beautiful and a little bit better. Everyone can change it to the best of his abilities and proclivities, age and maturity.

After marriage women often try to “remake” and change her husband. She thinks something like: “Together with me, he will lead a healthy lifestyle, love children, take care of a family” and so on… The list of a future husband’s virtues is usually quite long.

Is it worth planning? Of course not. What really needs to be done is to accept a person as he is, with all his positive and negative sides.

The following three practices can help you to do this.

Take a sheet of paper and divide it into 2 columns. In the left column, write what you don’t like about your husband. In the right one, list what you like about him, why you have chosen him among all the others. And it will be fine if the positive features will be 2 times more than the negative ones in the left. Maybe even more! Then cut off the left part. Burn it, tear it up, and throw it away. It’s gone! It’s like being in a store: you have already bought something and can’t bring it back. The same with your partner, you can’t chose another one. Then, from time to time, check the list with positives and remember yourself what a strong and good man is next to you. It works, believe me! The more you are focused on good things, the more they come to your life.

Take a piece of paper and write at least 100 positive character features of your husband. Describe your partner with inspiring adjectives. The second step of the practice is to use these adjectives in conversation with your husband. He may ask you what makes you think he’s so. Ask him a question in return: “Why do you think you are so?” And it is quite possible that he will find the right words inside himself. It’s also the way for positive energy, which is amplified and added.

Find one positive thing about your husband and start repeating it. For example: “My husband is a dandy”. Repeat this phrase 10—15 times a day for about a month. After a while, you will start to look at your husband differently, with more interest. This will definitely make you closer! You will trust your husband more and open your heart to him, and that worth a lot in relationships between man and woman.

These useful and effective practices will help you to discover a lot of new things about yourself and your life partner.

But the most difficult thing is to create close and harmonious relationships. Nobody teach us such things, we usually learn everything from our own experience. However, sometimes we get inspiration from somebody else. Though, their experience is not always positive and useful for us.

Be wise! If there is a conflict or a difficult situation, do not destroy relationship immediately. Try to recall in your memory all good things that have happened to you since you were together. Concentrate on these events and think about them. Be GRATEFUL for the presence of that person in your life. Everything will definitely get better and work out for the best!

I would like to add that it is completely normal and even natural to be angry and express your feelings. We are not made of stone. On the contrary, if a person keeps everything inside, like dissatisfaction with life, it may possibly lead to chronic diseases or even suicide. So, see the good in your loved ones! Be happy that you have him next to you and share his feelings while he’s alive.

If you have a lot of negative emotions, it’s better to start working on controlling them. A good way is to be grateful for what you have, saying that out loud or silently to yourself. For example, I just walk and think about things that I can thank my life for. And I find so many cheerful things that are around me! As a result, I’m getting thankful for everything I have, for my life. Try it! You will be captured by the amazing power of gratitude. You will find many beautiful and amazing things in your life.

Above all, do not give up and do not despair. Thank, open up, love! Life will definitely respond you in return.

Have woman and man got different self-esteem?

Man’s self-esteem is mainly made up of achievements and success in business or career. Woman’s one is from what other people say and think.

I had a chat with a good friend, exchange some compliments, and life started to shine with new colors. When someone pushed you accidentally in a street or in transport and your mood has changed. Especially if you don’t have a backbone. Therefore, you need to strengthen it and learn to love yourself.

My self-esteem grew up when I started to appeal more to my inner world. Today I don’t need to prove my merits any longer, especially from somebody outside. Yoga has influenced my self-esteem greatly. This practice is not just gymnastics or physical education. Yoga teaches you to look inside yourself, to address to yourself and look for a source of strength in it. And it worth it!

In general, life is very interesting. As soon as we turn our sight from the outside to the inside world, it wonderfully transforms. So, it is useful to:

– listen to yourself and be a friend of yours;

– love yourself and accept (below there is a practice that helps you learn this);

– be friendly with your body, cherish it, coddle it with pleasant treatments;

– appreciate your inner world with a sense of self-worth.

My dear friend! (Can I call you like that sometimes? I hope so! This will bring us closer. Let’s us be on the same wavelength.) Do you have a sense of self-esteem? In my opinion, it’s not the last in the list for a woman, I would say number one.

When a woman has a great sense of self-esteem:

– she feels self-sufficient;

– people around her treat her with respect and reverence;

– she knows that she is worthy of the best, and it comes to her;

– she allows to be herself, to show her uniqueness.

There are several ways to increase your self-esteem.

1. Say the following affirmation out loud or just to yourself (in a positive way): “I have a sense of self-esteem, and I am happy to accept care and attention of men.”

2. Take a piece of paper and continue the phrase in different ways (at least 25 options): “I have a sense of self-esteem, so I allow myself…”

3. Write on a piece of paper how you understand the word “self-esteem”. What do you feel when you say these 3 words?

Keep watching your progress in it on a daily basis. Increase your self-esteem and soon you will see the result!

Is it good to be a self-sufficient woman? Different sides of self-sufficiency

A self-sufficient woman doesn’t pay attention to people’s opinion. She sets her own rules and changes them if it’s necessary. Such woman has her own values, building her life on their basis.

Self-sufficiency reveals in various areas: financial, social, and even physical. If a woman has this feature, she performs her “melody of life”. It is fine if it happens in harmony with others. Such woman is close to harmony as it’s possible to be. She doesn’t need external approval. A self-sufficient woman gets exciting being like that! She accepts herself with all positives and negatives.

There’s only one minus about being self-sufficient, in my opinion, she would never ask for help. All by yourself! That’s the basic principle: “No one will do better than me.”

For a long time, I have been striving to become 100% self-sufficient. It seemed to me that this is literally the peak of perfection realized in female form. Because it was the basics of upbringing in kindergarten, school and university. I had to overcome all obstacles to reach a new level of development and acceptance of what was happening.

During adult’s life I rethought all these axioms. My points of view and outlook have changed. The attitude to life has become more trusting and harmonious. Honestly, I still keep fighting with it. It reveals like the desire to control others and in the absence of complete trust in life. But feeling this is actually stress-making and exhausting.

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