“There’s something about you that makes it hard to look away,” Allan said.

“You must have an iron will because you don’t have any problems doing it.”

He leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees and his face more sincere than Jessi had seen in a while. “That’s because I’m not a sap. I know better than to let you think there is anything between us. You’d use it to get whatever you wanted.”

She shrugged—it would be nice to believe she had that kind of power over him. “Good thing I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago.”

“Sometimes I don’t know whether to arm wrestle you or kiss you.”

“Kiss me? That didn’t really get us anywhere the last time,” she said.

“I was hesitant because of business complications, but now there is nothing stopping me from taking what I want.”

“Except me,” she said softly.

She looked over at him to gauge his reaction and it was clear that he took it as a challenge.

* * *

Bound by a Child is part of the Baby Business trilogy: One hostile takeover, two feuding families, three special babies

Bound by a Child
Katherine Garbera

www.millsandboon.co.uk

KATHERINE GARBERA is a USA TODAY bestselling author of more than forty books who has always believed in happy endings. She lives in England with her husband, children and their pampered pet, Godiva. Visit Katherine on the web at www.katherinegarbera.com, or catch up with her on Facebook and Twitter.

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Huge thanks to all of the readers who chat with me on my Facebook page, especially Danny Bruggemann, Jean Gordon, Barbara Padlo, Angie Floris Thompson and Amelia Hernanadez, who suggested names for the hurricane in this book. I ended up choosing Pandora since it sort of fitted my story. :-)

Plus a shout-out to my UK writing buddies Celia Anderson and Lucy Felthouse. Thanks for talking books, hotties and UK phrases with me. Writing is a hard, lonely job and I have to thank my darling husband and kiddos for their support. And as always thanks to my editor, Charles, for his insight.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Excerpt

One

Allan McKinney might look like a Hollywood hottie with his lean, made-for-sin body, neatly styled dark brown hair and piercing silver eyes that could make a woman forget to think. But Jessi Chandler knew he was the devil in disguise.

He was the bad guy and always had been. More tempting than sin itself as he rode in at the last minute to ruin everything. Knowing him the way she did, she couldn’t imagine he had come to her table in the corner of Little Bar here in the Wilshire/La Brea area of Los Angeles for any other reason than to crow about his latest victory.

It had been only three weeks since he and his vengeful cousins at Playtone Games had taken over her family’s company, Infinity Games, bringing their longtime rivalry to a vicious climax.

She’d just come from a meeting at Playtone Games where she’d made a proposal to try to save her job. The most humiliating thing about this merger was having to grovel in front of Allan. She was a damned fine director of marketing, but instead of being able to continue in her role and just get on with the work that needed to be done, she had to trek into the city from Malibu once a week and prove to the Montrose cousins that she was earning her paycheck.

He slid into the booth across from her, his long legs brushing against hers. He acted as if he owned this place and the world. There was something about his arrogance that had always made her want to take him down a notch or two.

It was 5:00 p.m., and the bar was just beginning to get busy with the after-work crowd. She was anonymous here and could just let her guard down for a minute, but now that Allan was sitting across from her, messing with her mojo, that wasn’t going to happen.

“Are you here to rub it in?” she asked at last. It fit with the man she believed him to be and with the little competition they’d had going since the moment they’d met. “Seems like a Montrose-McKinney thing to do.”

Her father had been adamant about staying away from Thomas Montrose’s grandsons due to the bad blood between their families. She got that, but even before the takeover, she’d had no choice but to deal with Allan when her best friend, Patti, had fallen in love with and married his best friend.

“Not quite. I’m here to make you an offer,” he said, signaling the waitress and ordering a Glenlivet neat.

“Thanks, but I don’t need your kind of help,” she said. She’d probably find herself out of a job quicker with him on her side.

He ran his hand over the top of his short hair, narrowed his eyes and looked at her in a way that made her sit up straighter in her chair. “Do you get off on pushing me to the edge?”

“Sort of,” she said. She did take a certain joy in sparring with him. And she kept score of who won and who lost.

“Why?” he asked, pulling out his iPhone and setting it on the table next to him. He glanced down at the screen and then brought his electric gaze back to her.

“Concentrating on your phone and not on the person you’re with is one reason,” she answered. It irked her when anyone did that, but bothered her even more when the person was Allan. “Besides, I like getting to see the chinks in your perfect facade when you can’t hide the real Allan.”

The waitress delivered his drink. He leaned forward on his elbows. The woman was thin and pretty and wore a pair of large black glasses that were clearly a personality statement and went well with her pixie haircut. Allan smiled at her, and the waitress blushed, which made Jessi roll her eyes.

“What did I do to make you so adversarial toward me?” he asked, turning back to her as the waitress left.

“Why do you care?”

“I’m tired of always arguing with you. In fact, that brings me back to my reason for tracking you down,” he said.

“What reason?”

“I’d like to buy you out. Your shares in Infinity Games are now worth a lot of money, and we both know you don’t want to work for my cousin Kell or me. I’ll make you a fair offer.”

She sat there in shock as his words sank in. Did he think her family heritage meant so little to her? When she thought of how her dad and grandfather had always been so busy at work that they’d never been around...well, hell, no, she wasn’t selling. Especially not to a Montrose heir. “Never. I’d give them away before I sold to you.”

He shrugged. “I just thought I’d save all of us a lot of frustration. You don’t seem to be really interested in working for the merged company.”

“I’m not selling,” she said one more time, just in case he had any illusion that she was going to walk away easily. “I’m planning to keep my job and make you and your cousins eat your words.”

“What words?”

“That Emma and I are expendable. Don’t deny that you believe it.”

She and her older sister still had to prove themselves if they wanted to keep their jobs. Sure, they were shareholders, so they’d always have an ownership stake in the company, but their actual jobs were on the line. Their younger sister, Cari, had already jumped through hoops for the Montrose cousins and had ended up keeping her position and falling in love with one of them.

Declan Montrose was now engaged to her, though three months ago he’d arrived at Infinity Games to manage the merger of the two companies, which meant he was there to fire the Chandler sisters. But Cari had turned the tables on him, revealing that he was the father of her eighteen-month-old son as a result of a brief affair they’d had. This had been a big surprise to everyone on both sides of the merger. It had been an interesting time, to say the least, but in the end she and Dec had fallen in love and Cari had managed to save her job at the newly merged Playtone-Infinity Games.

“I wasn’t going to deny it,” Allan said. “The situation with both you and Emma is different than the one with Cari. When she approached Dec and I with her ideas for saving the staff at Infinity Games she was happy to listen to our ideas, as well.”

His words hurt; Jessi wasn’t going to lie about that. But Cari was known for being the caring sister, and Jessi, well, she’d always been the rebel, the ballbuster. But that didn’t mean she was emotionless. She wanted to see her family’s legacy in video games continue; after all, Gregory Chandler had been a pioneer in the industry in the seventies and eighties. “I have a few ideas that I’ve been working on.”

“Share them with me,” Allan invited, glancing again at his phone.

“Why?” she asked.

“To see if you’re sincere about wanting to keep your position. No more lame ideas like sending out Infinity-Playtone game characters to make appearances at malls. You’re head of marketing and we expect more than that.”

“It wasn’t—” she said, but in her heart she knew it sort of was. She didn’t want Playtone-Infinity to be successful so she’d...shot herself in the foot. “Okay, maybe it was a little lame.”

“What else do you have in mind? You’re too smart not to have something big,” he said, staring at her with that intense gaze of his.

“Was that actually a compliment?”

“Don’t act so surprised. You’re very good at your job and we both know you know it. Talk to me, Jessi.”

She hesitated. She was good, and she wasn’t ever as tentative as she felt right now. It was just that she’d been beaten and felt like it today. “I don’t... What can you do?”

“Decide if it’s worth my time to help you,” he said at last.

“Why?”

“Our best friends are married and we’re their daughter’s godparents. I can’t just let Kell fire you without at least making some sort of effort to help,” he said. “Patti and John would never forgive me.”

“Then why offer to buy me out?”

“It would solve the problem and we’d both be able to walk away from this.”

“It would,” Jessi said. “But that’s not happening.”

She rubbed the back of her neck. She didn’t like anything about this merger but she also didn’t relish the idea of being fired. “I’m one person who wouldn’t be swayed by your bank account.”

He shrugged off her comment and for a moment looked pensive.

“It bothers you that I sent the jet to pick you and Patti up that first time we met, doesn’t it?” he asked, leaning back and glancing at his iPhone, but quickly looking back at Jessi, which earned him a few more points toward being a good guy.

She took a swallow of her gin and tonic. “Yes. It felt like you were trying too hard. I mean, offering your private jet to fly us to Paris...that was showing off.”

“Maybe I just wanted Patti to have a proposal she’d always remember. You and I both know that John doesn’t earn what I earn. I was just helping my friend out.”

“I know. It was romantic. I admit I didn’t behave as well as I could have.... I guess I can be a bit of a brat.”

“Well, you certainly were that weekend,” he said, leaning in so that she caught a whiff of his spicy aftershave.

She closed her eyes for a minute and acknowledged that if she didn’t keep Allan in the adversary category, there was a part of her that would be attracted to him. He was the only person—man or woman—she’d ever met whom she could go head-to-head with and still talk to the next day. He understood that winning was important to her and didn’t get mad when she won. He just got even, which, to be fair, appealed to her as much as it irritated her.

“But that’s in the past. Let’s work together. I think you and Emma probably have a lot to contribute to the newly merged company.”

“Probably? Jeez, that sounds encouraging,” she said, taking another sip of her drink.

“I’m trying here,” he said.

“Well, I’ve got a few feelers out in the movie industry. There are three new action movies coming next summer that I think are good matches for the type of games that we develop, which might be enough lead time to get a really good game out.” Given that the merged company was not only a prime video game developer for consoles like Xbox and PlayStation, but also had a thriving app business for smartphones and tablets, making games with movie tie-ins was a naturally good idea. Infinity Games had never pursued this line of business before, but since the takeover, Jessi and her sisters had been thinking outside the box.

“That’s a great idea. I have some contacts in that area if you’d like me to use them,” Allan offered.

“Really?”

“Yes,” he said. “It’s in my best interest to help you.”

“Is it?”

“I’m the CFO, Jessi. Anything that affects the bottom line concerns me.”

“Of course it does,” she said.

She was torn. A part of her wanted to accept his help, but this was Allan McKinney, and she didn’t trust him. It wasn’t just that he’d thrown around his money as if the stuff grew on trees; it was also that she hadn’t been able to find out much about him from her private investigator, whom she’d hired to check out John when Patti had first met him. What the detective had turned up about Allan...well, frankly, it had all seemed too good to be true.

No one had the kind of happy, pampered existence the P.I. had found when he dug into Allan’s past. It was too clean, too...perfect. There was something he’d been hiding, but none of that had mattered at the time, since John McCoy was the main subject of the investigation and he’d turned out to be a good guy.

Maybe Jessi should ask Orly, her P.I., to start digging again. When it came to Allan, there had been too few leads and many closed doors the first time around. Given what had happened with Playtone and Infinity, and that she’d recently had Allan’s cousin Dec investigated, too, maybe it was time to ask Orly to find out what more he could about Allan.

“Sure, I’d love your help,” she said.

“You sound sarcastic,” Allan commented, glancing down at his mobile phone yet again.

“It’s the best I can do,” she said.

“Excuse me for a moment. I keep getting a call from a number I don’t know,” he told her.

He picked up his phone and answered. After a moment, his brow furrowed, and he hunched back in his chair. “Oh, God, no,” he muttered.

“What?” she asked. She grabbed her Kate Spade bag and started to slide off the bench, until Allan grabbed her hand.

She shook her head but waited as he listened, and then his face went ashen. He turned away from her.

“How?” he asked, his voice gruff.

She could only stare at him as he shook his head and rasped, “The baby?” After a pause he murmured, “Okay, I will be there on Friday.” He disconnected the call and turned to her. “John and Patti are dead.”

Jessi wanted to believe he was lying, but his face was pale and there was none of that arrogant charm she always associated with him. She pulled her phone out and saw that she, too, had received several calls from an unknown number.

“I can’t believe it. Are you sure?”

He gave her a look that was so lost and wounded, she knew the truth.

“No,” she said, wrapping her arm around her waist.

God, no.

* * *

Allan was shaken to his core. He’d lost his parents at a rather young age, which was part of the reason he and John had bonded, but this was...wrong. It was just wrong that someone so young and with so much to live for had died.

Jessi’s hands were shaking, and he glanced over at her, only to find everything he was feeling inside was there on her face. The woman who always looked so tough and in control was suddenly small and fragile.

He got up and moved around to her side, putting his arm around her shoulder and drawing her into the curve of his body. She resisted for the merest of seconds before she turned her face into his chest, and he felt the humid warmth of her tears as they soaked into his shirt.

She was silent as she cried, which was nothing more than he’d expect from someone as in control as Jessi always was. By focusing on her pain and her tears he was able to bury his own feelings. A world without his best friend wasn’t one he wanted to dwell on. John balanced him out. Reminded Allan of all the reasons why life was good. But now—

“How?” she asked, pushing back from him and grabbing a cocktail napkin to wipe her face and then blow her nose.

Her face was splotchy, red from the tears, and she took a shuddering breath as she tried to speak again. The tears were at odds with her rebel-without-a-care look. She wore her version of business attire, a short black skirt that ended at her thighs, a tight green jacket that had bright shiny zippers and a little shell camisole that revealed the upper curves of her breasts and her tattoo.

His chest was too tight for words. He didn’t really know how to talk through the grief. But as he stared into those warm brown eyes of Jessi’s—one of the very first things he’d noticed about her when they’d met—he realized that he could do this. He would pull himself together and do this for her.

“Car accident,” he said.

“John is an excellent driver, as is Patti—oh, God, is Hannah okay?”

“Yes. She wasn’t with them. Another driver hit them head-on as they were coming home from a Chamber of Commerce meeting.”

Allan was John’s next-of-kin contact, which was why he’d gotten the call. “Let’s get out of here.”

She nodded. He could tell she was in no shape to drive, and steered her toward his Jaguar XF. She got into the passenger seat and then slumped forward, putting her hands over her face as her shoulders shook.

Never in his life had Allan felt this powerless, and he hated it. He stood outside the car and tipped his head back, staring up into the fading fall sunset. He felt tears burning in his own eyes and used his thumbs to press them back. He pushed hard on his eye sockets until he was able to staunch the flow, and then walked around the car and got inside.

Jessi sat there silently next to him, looking over at him with those wet, wounded eyes, and for the first time he saw the woman beneath the brashness. He saw someone who needed him.

“What is Hannah going to do? Patti’s mom has Alzheimer’s and there’s no other close family.”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “John has some family but not really anyone close. Just a couple of cousins. We’ll figure it out.”

“Together,” she said, meeting his gaze. “Oh, God. I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Me, either. But it only makes sense now.”

“It does. Plus John and Patti would want us to do it together,” Jessi said.

“Yes, they would,” he said.

The little girl would never know her parents, but Allan decided he’d do everything in his power to ensure that she wouldn’t grow up alone.

He took Jessi’s hand in his. “Let’s call their attorney back and find out the answers we both need.”

She linked her fingers with his as he made the call and waited to be connected.

When he was put through, he said, “This is Allan McKinney again. You and I were just discussing John McCoy. Do you mind if I put you on speaker? I’m with Jessi Chandler. She is Hannah’s other godparent.”

“Not at all.” Allan put the phone on speaker. “Go ahead.”

“This is Reggie Blythe, Ms. Chandler. I’m the attorney for the McCoys.”

“Hello, Mr. Blythe. What can you tell us?”

“Please call me Reggie. I don’t have all the details as to what happened, but John and Patti were on their way back from a Chamber of Commerce dinner and were involved in a fatal accident. Miss Hannah was at home with a sitter—” they heard the rustling of papers “—Emily Duchamp. Emily has agreed to stay overnight with the baby. Hannah will be placed in a temporary foster situation in the morning.”

Jessi’s grip on Allan tightened. “Patti would hate that. Is there any way you can keep Hannah in her home?”

“Actually, as cogodparents, you have certain rights, but you will need to get here as soon as possible to avoid her being placed in the state’s care.”

State care. Allan knew that John never would have wanted Hannah to end up there. And there was no need for it. Didn’t John have distant cousins and a great-aunt on his dad’s side? “I believe John had a cousin who lives nearby.”

“I don’t think it’s best to go into this over the phone. When can you both get to North Carolina?”

“As soon as humanly possible.”

“Good,” Reggie said. “I’ll be in my office all day tomorrow. Please let me know when you two will get here.”

“Oh, we’re not together,” Jessi said.

“Aren’t you? You called me together, and given the terms of the will—never mind. We will sort it all out when you get to my office,” Reggie said.

“Why did you think we were together?” Allan asked.

“John and Patti indicated in their will that they wanted guardianship to be given to the two of you.”

“We figured as much,” Jessi said. “We can come up with some sort of schedule.”

“In the eyes of the courts,” Reggie said, “the best arrangement is to provide a stable home for the child. But again, we can talk more about this when you get here.”

When Allan disconnected the call, he dropped Jessi’s hand, and she looked at him as if he’d grown two heads. “We fight all the time.”

“We do,” he said, before turning away and trying to think. It was almost too much to process.

His best friend was dead. Allan was a committed bachelor who had been named coguardian of a tiny baby with the one woman on the planet who aggravated him the most. He looked at her again. She seemed as upset by the tragedy as he was. But he knew they’d both do whatever they could to make the situation work. It didn’t matter that they were enemies; from this moment forward they were bound together by baby Hannah.

“You and me...” she said.

“And baby makes three.”

Two

Allan dropped Jessi off at her place in Echo Park. She looked small and lost and so unlike the indomitable woman he usually knew her to be that he didn’t know how to handle her.

She didn’t turn and wave as she entered her house, and he hadn’t expected her to. He knew in time she’d get back to herself, but then he wondered if that were true. How could either of them ever be the same again?

Traffic was heavy, and it took him forty minutes to get to his home in Beverly Hills. He’d purchased the mansion after Playtone had made him a millionaire. John had actually helped him build the pergola and brick backyard eating area and barbecue. As he pulled into his circle drive, he was haunted by memories of his friend on his last visit to California.

Allan dropped his head forward on the steering wheel, but tears didn’t come. Inside, he was cold and felt alone. And he realized that the last person he cared about was gone. He’d loved his parents, really loved them. They’d been a close family unit—just the three of them. Allan’s grandfather had disowned his daughter when she’d refused to marry a wealthy heir he’d picked out for her, intending to funnel that money into his revenge against the Chandlers. It had only been after his grandfather’s death when Kell had come to Allan and invited him to be a part of Playtone that he’d joined the company and put his penchant for managing money to good use.

She’d married instead for love, and they’d lived a quiet little life in the Temecula Valley—two hours away from Los Angeles, but really a world apart.

Allan heard a rap on the window of his Jaguar XF and looked up to see his butler, Michael Fawkes, standing there. The fifty-seven-year-old former middleweight boxer had been in his employ since he’d inked his first multimillion-dollar deal for Playtone. Fawkes was a great guy and looked a little bit like Mickey Rourke.

“Are you okay, sir?”

Allan took his keys from the ignition and climbed out of the car. “Yes, Fawkes, I am. But John McCoy was killed in a car accident. I’m leaving tomorrow to fly to the Outer Banks to help make funeral arrangements and see to his daughter.”

“My condolences, sir. I liked Mr. McCoy,” Fawkes said.

“Everyone liked him,” Allan said.

“Shall I accompany you?” Fawkes asked.

“Yes. I need you to make sure we have accommodation in Hatteras. I think we should be able to stay at the B and B that John and Patti own...owned,” he said, turning away from Fawkes. “Give me a minute.”

Jessi would probably have a hard time booking a flight to North Carolina at this hour, and it wasn’t a big town they were flying into. For a moment he rejected the idea of making an offer to let her fly with him. But then he knew he had to at least reach out to her. She was truly the only other person who felt the way he did right now.

As much as she irritated him, and though it irked him to admit it, he needed her. She made him feel as if he wasn’t dealing with John’s death alone.

“Please include Ms. Chandler in our arrangements,” Allan said.

“Really?” Fawkes asked in a surprised tone of voice. Jessi did her best to rattle the butler whenever they came into contact.

“Yes. I was with her when she got the news. She’s as affected by this as we both are.”

Allan pulled his iPhone out of his pocket and texted her.

I’m taking the jet to North Carolina in the morning. Want a lift?

Jessi’s response was immediate. Thanks. I’d appreciate that. Are you leaving tonight? I’ve made arrangements with the funeral home to talk about Patti’s service in the morning. If we go tonight I can talk to them in person.

I had thought to leave tomorrow but given that we are going to lose three hours perhaps tonight is best.

I thought so.

Can you be packed and ready in two hours?

Of course. TTYL

“Very well, sir. I shall make all the arrangements,” Fawkes said when he learned of the plan. “When are we leaving?”

“Two hours,” Allan said.

He left his assistant and headed to his den, where he poured himself a stiff Scotch and then went over to his recliner to call his cousins. But there was a knock on the door before he could dial.

“Come in,” he called.

Kell and Dec entered the room. They looked somber, and he realized that though John was his best friend, both his cousins had counted John as their friend, as well.

“We came as soon as we heard,” Dec said. He stood in the doorway looking awkward.

“Thanks. I’m leaving tonight. I don’t expect the trip to take more than a week. Jessi is coming with me, Kell. I think we might have to adjust some of her deadlines,” Allan said. Even if she was his most irritating adversary, he had to help her out now. He’d seen her broken and he shared her pain.

“We can discuss business later. When will the funeral be?”

“I don’t know. I have to talk to the funeral home once we get to North Carolina. John only had a few distant cousins. I won’t know what kind of arrangements they might have already made until I’m on the ground there. I might end up in charge of the planning. And then there is Patti to consider. I know that Jessi is arranging her service.”

“Just let us know and we’ll fly out for it,” Dec said. “Do you need anything?”

He shook his head. What could he say? For once he was at a loss for words. “I’ve got this,” he finally said.

“Of course you do, but he was our friend, too,” Dec said. Allan saw a quiet understanding in his cousin’s eyes as he looked over at him.

Falling in love had changed the other man. He wasn’t as distant as he’d always been.

“I don’t know how else to handle this except to plan and take control,” Allan admitted.

“That’s the only way,” Kell said. “We’ll leave you to it.”

Dec glanced quickly at him again as he followed Kell out. When his cousins were gone, Allan fell back on the large, battered brown sofa that didn’t quite fit with the decor in the elegant and luxuriously appointed room. The couch had major sentimental value—John and Allan had purchased this piece at a garage sale for their first college apartment.

He put the heels of his hands over his eyes, pushing as hard as he could until he saw stars and there were no more tears.

“Another Scotch, sir?”

Allan dropped his hands and glanced up at his butler. Fawkes was standing there with a glass in one hand. “No. I’m going to pack and then get ready to head to the airport.”

“Yes, sir,” Fawkes said. “I have already arranged the accommodations. I’ve been tracking the weather, as well.... There might be a situation.”

“What kind of situation?”

“Tropical storm in the Atlantic, but it’s not predicted to head toward North Carolina. Just keeping my eye on it.”

“Thanks, Fawkes.”

Allan walked away and forced his mind to the task at hand. There was no reason why he couldn’t get through his best friend’s death the way he handled everything else. He’d manage and take control of the situation.

* * *

For once, Jessi’s sharp tongue was dulled by Allan’s generous offer to let her ride on his jet to the Outer Banks with him. Or maybe it was all the talk of funerals making her numb. As soon as she finished texting, she turned to put her phone on the hall table and found herself staring at a photo of Patti on the wall.

Jessi’s heart hurt and she started to cry. She missed Patti. She missed the talks they wouldn’t have. She longed to be able to pick up the phone and call her again. But that couldn’t happen.

She sank to the floor, wrapped her arms around her waist and just sat there, trying to pretend that the news wasn’t true. She didn’t want to imagine her world without Patti. Granted, she had her sisters, but Patti was the person who knew her best. They’d gotten into trouble together since the second grade. What was she going to do now?

There was a knock on the door and she stared at it before forcing herself to her feet and wiping her face on her sleeve. Then she took a quick look at herself in the mirror.

Pitiful. Suck it, up, Jess. No one likes a crybaby.

“Coming,” she called, but took a moment to wipe off the smudges that the combination of her tears and her heavy eyeliner had made on her face.

“We came as soon as we heard,” Emma said when Jessi answered the ringing doorbell. Their youngest sister was there, too. Both women had their children with them. Emma’s three-year-old Sam was holding his mother’s hand, and twenty-one-month-old D.J. was sleeping quietly in Cari’s arms.

“I didn’t think you guys would get here so fast,” Jessi said.

“Dec heard about it from Allan,” Cari said, crossing the threshold and giving Jessi a one-armed hug. Jessi wrapped her own arms around her sister and nephew and held them close. Emma shut the door and joined the group hug.

Jessi felt the sting of tears once more, but choked them back. Though it was okay to let loose with her sisters, she didn’t want to start crying again. Tears weren’t going to bring Patti and John back. Tears weren’t going to do anything helpful.

“What can we do?” Emma asked.

“I’m not sure. The funeral will have to be arranged, and then there is Hannah....”

“What about her?”

“Allan and I are her godparents. I agreed to it because Patti asked. But I’m not good with babies. You both know this. I’m just—” Jessi abruptly stopped talking. She wasn’t going to admit to her sisters that she had no idea what to do next. For only the second time in her life she was lost. Lost. It was a place she’d vowed to never let herself be again.

Emma wrapped her arms around her again and for a minute Jessi was seven and her big sister’s hug could fix all her problems. She hugged her sister back and took comfort from her before gathering herself and stepping away.

“I’m okay.”

Cari looked skeptical, but was too nice to say anything. Emma just watched her, and finally Jessi turned on her heel and walked toward her bedroom. She could tell one of her sisters was following her, but didn’t turn around to see who. If it was Cari, that would be fine. Cari would just accept whatever Jessi said and leave it be. But Em. Em had seen her share of heartbreak and had dealt with grief when she’d lost her young husband. Emma would be harder to keep her true feelings from.

“What bag are you taking?” Cari asked as she entered the bedroom without D.J.

Jessi breathed a sigh of relief and pretended it wasn’t tinged with disappointment. She could have used a little of Emma’s meddling right now. Something to rebel against instead of Cari’s kindness.

“I don’t know how long we’ll be gone,” Jessi said. “I need to leave some notes for my assistant, Marcel. My job is still on the line.”

“Even Kell can’t be that heartless. He’ll give you some more time,” Cari said. “I’ll talk to him about it.”

She nodded at her sister, but at this moment was too numb to get worked up about it. Patti was dead. That dominated every thought Jessi had.

“How about if I pack for you,” Cari said. “You go talk to Marcel. Get everything sorted out before you leave.”

“Thanks, Cari.”

Her pretty blonde sister looked as if she was going to cry. For a minute, as Jessi gazed at her, with her neat preppy skirt, her tucked-in blouse and her hair in that high ponytail, she envied her. Cari had seen some rough times—giving birth to her son on her own after the father had abandoned her—but she’d found her own strength. That was what Jessi needed right now.

Work wasn’t a solace for her the way that it had been for Emma when her husband died. And Jessi’s personal life... Well, without Patti she didn’t know what she was going to do.

She left her bedroom without another word, avoiding the living room, where she heard Emma talking to Sam and D.J. After listening a moment, Jessi made her way to her home office.

It was decorated with sleek modern furniture in bright primary colors. She sat down on her desk chair and opened her laptop to start sending emails.

As her system loaded messages and sorted them into different folders, she noticed the file labeled Patti had a new message. For some reason it hadn’t downloaded to her phone, maybe because she’d turned off email during her meeting at the Playtone offices earlier in the day. As she reached for her phone and adjusted the settings, she started to cry. This would be the last message from Patti.

Jessi looked back at her laptop screen and hovered the cursor over the folder, afraid to open it. But after taking a deep breath, she clicked her mouse and read the email.

Can’t wait to see you in two weeks. Here’s a quick picture of Hannah. She’s teething and that means her first tooth! And you, dear godmother, have to buy her a pair of shoes—according to my great-aunt Berthe. Hope everything is ok at work. I just know that you will figure it all out. Call me later.

Take care,

Patti

A photo of Hannah’s little face filled the bottom of the screen. She had her fist in her mouth, there was a drool on her lips and she looked out from the picture with Patti’s eyes. Jessi’s heart clenched and her stomach roiled as she realized that her dear friend wasn’t going to see that first tooth come in.

Since her door was closed and no one could witness it, she leaned her head on the desk and let herself cry.

* * *

As the plane lifted off, Allan watched Jessi put her earbuds in and turn away from him toward the window. To say that she wasn’t herself was an absolute understatement. The woman who’d always irritated him was positively subdued. A shadow of her normal self. He saw her wipe away a tear in the reflection from the glass.

He knew it was none of his business. He owed Jessi next to nothing, and she was entitled to her grief. In fact, he understood completely how she felt, but a part of him wanted to needle her. Wanted to jar her and force her out of her funk so she could irritate him and he’d be able to forget. The last thing he wanted to do was spend a cross-country flight with his own thoughts.

Not right now when he was wondering why a confirmed bachelor was still alive and a family man with everything to live for was dead. God knew that Allan wasn’t religious, and something like this just reinforced his belief that there definitely wasn’t a higher force in the world. There was no fairness to John dying when he had so much to live for.

Allan looked around the cabin. He’d bought the G6 jet when Playtone had signed their first multibillion-dollar contract, and he didn’t regret it. If there was one thing he prized in this life it was his own comfort. The cream-colored leather chairs had more than enough room for him to stretch out his six-foot, five-inch frame. He did so now, deliberately knocking over Jessi’s expensive-looking leather bag in the process.

She glanced at him with one eyebrow arched and picked up the bag without removing her earbuds. She leaned her head back against the seat and a lock of her short ebony hair slid down over her eye. He had touched her hair once. It was cool and soft. He’d tangled his hand in it as he’d kissed her at John and Patti’s wedding, behind the balustrade, out of the way of prying eyes.

Like everything between the two of them, he’d meant the kiss to be a game of one-upmanship, to shock her, but it hadn’t worked. It had rocked him to his foundations, because there’d been a spark of something more in that one kiss. How was it that his archnemesis could turn him on like no other woman could?

He nudged her bag and she took her earbuds off as she turned to him and stared. Her gaze was glacial, as if he wasn’t worth her attention.

“What’s your problem?” she asked.

“Can’t get comfortable,” he said.

She glanced around at the six other empty seats before turning her chocolate-brown eyes back at him. “Really? Looks like you could stretch out and not bother me if you wanted to. So I ask again, what’s your problem?”

“Maybe I want to bother you.”

“Of course you do. What’s the matter, Allan, finally found the one thing your money can’t buy?” she asked.

“And what would that be?” he retorted. In his experience there wasn’t much money couldn’t afford him. Granted, it wasn’t going to bring John back, but there was nothing that could stop death. And hadn’t he learned that at an early age, anyway, when his mother had been the victim of a botched surgery?

“Peace of mind,” Jessi said, swiveling her chair to face him and leaning forward so that the material of her blouse gaped and afforded him a glimpse of her cleavage.

She said something else, but all he could concentrate on was her body. Though she dressed in that funky style of hers she always looked well put together and feminine. And he couldn’t help but recall the way she’d felt in his arms at John and Patti’s wedding.

Dammit, man, enough. She’s the enemy and it’s just grief making her seem irresistible.

“I’ll grant you that. Though I do find that my peace of mind is enhanced by the things I buy,” he said.

“Me, too,” she admitted.

“What do you want to buy right now?” he asked. He had already decided to order himself a Harley-Davidson, which he and John had been talking about buying when they turned thirty-five. Now that John was gone, Allan wasn’t going to wait any longer. Life was too short.

“Nothing,” she said. “I usually splurge on travel, and Patti was my...” She turned her chair to face forward.

“Not talking about her isn’t going to make your grief any easier,” he said softly.

She shrugged. “You’re right. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to think about this rationally, but tonight...I can’t.”

“Why?”

She turned to give him one of her you’re-an-idiot-glares. “Seriously?”

“I don’t want to sit in silence for the next few hours. I keep thinking about John and Patti and how the last time I saw them both...”

“Me, too,” Jessi said. “I can’t stop. I remember how you and I were fighting, and Patti asked me to try to get along.”

She stopped talking and turned away again to wipe a tear from her eye.

“John said the same thing to me. He even went so far as to mention that you weren’t too bad,” Allan said.

She shook her head. “I liked him. He was good for Patti and he loved her, you know?”

“He certainly seemed to.” John had spent a lot of time talking about Patti, and Allan believed his friend loved her. But Allan had never experienced any emotions like that so it was a little hard to believe love existed.

“Seemed to? Don’t you believe he loved her?” Jessi asked.

“I think he thought he did. But I’m not sure that love is real. I think it’s something we all come up with to assure ourselves we’re not alone.”

She turned in her seat and arched both eyebrows as she leaned forward. “Even you can’t be that cynical.”

He shrugged. He didn’t get the love thing between a man and a woman. He’d seen people do a lot of things out of “love” and not one of them had been altruistic or all that great. And his own experiences with the emotion had been haphazard at best.

Especially since he’d become a very wealthy man. Women seemed to fall for him instantly, and as Jessi would be the first to point out, he wasn’t that charming. It made it very hard for him to trust them. But to be honest he’d always had trust issues. How could you believe in love when so many people did things for love that weren’t all that nice?

“But you’re always dating,” she said. “Why do that if you don’t believe in love and finding the one to spend the rest of your life with?”

“Sex,” he said bluntly.

“How clichéd,” she replied. “And typically male.”

“Like your attitude isn’t typically female? It’s true I like women for sex. And companionship. I enjoy having them around, but love? That’s never entered into the picture,” he said.

“Maybe because you’d have to put someone else first,” she suggested.

“I’m capable of doing that,” he said, thinking of his friendship with John, but also his relationship with his cousins. He would go to them in the middle of the night if they called. Hence this cross-country red-eye to settle John’s affairs. “What about you? You don’t really strike me as a romantic.”

“I’m not,” she said. “But I do believe in love. I’ve got the heartbreak to prove that falling in love is real.”

“Who broke your heart?” he asked. It was the first time in the five years he’d known her that she’d admitted to anything this personal. And he found himself unable to look away. Unable to stop the tide of emotions running through him as he stared at her. Who had hurt her and why did it suddenly matter to him?

“Some dick,” she said.

He almost smiled because she sounded more angry than brokenhearted. “Tell me more.”

“That’s none of your business, Allan. Just trust me. If you ever let yourself be real instead of throwing around money and buying yourself trophy girlfriends, you’d find love.”

He doubted it. “You think so? Is that how it happened for you?”

“Nah, I was too young and thought lust was love,” she said. “Happy?”

“Not really,” he said. “If you haven’t experienced real love why are you so convinced it exists?”

“John and Patti. I’ve never met two people more in love. And as much as it pains me to admit it, your cousin Dec seems to be in love with my sister.”

“They are borderline cutesy with all that hand-holding and kissing.”

And just like that, she’d turned the tables and made him realize the truth of what she was saying. John was one of the few people he’d genuinely cared for, but they’d been friends for a long time, way before Allan had made his fortune and started running with the moneyed crowd. He didn’t want to admit that maybe Jessi was right, but a part of him knew she was.

Three

She’d turned away after that conversation and he’d let her. Really talking about love with Allan wasn’t something Jessi was truly interested in. The music on her iPod wasn’t loud or angry—in fact, she was listening to the boy band ’N Sync. She and Patti had listened to their music endlessly when they were teens, and now the songs brought her some comfort. However, when “Bye Bye Bye” almost made her cry, she pulled her earbuds out of her ears and turned her attention to Allan.

He was restlessly pacing the length of the cabin and talking on the phone. She thought she heard him saying something about Jack White. She currently had a lead on the famous Hollywood director-producer and was trying to book a meeting with him later this month to discuss developing some of his summer blockbusters into games. It would be a coup if she could do a deal with Jack, and it would guarantee her job at Playtone-Infinity.

Allan glanced over and caught her staring.

“I’ll have to call you back when we land.”

He disconnected the call and pocketed his iPhone.

“We’re playing for the same team now,” she said. “You don’t have to hide your business.”

“You’re on probation,” he reminded her. “I’m not sure you’ll make it past the ninety days.”

“Really? I’m pretty sure I will. Have you ever known me to fail?”

He turned the leather chair in front of her to face her, and fell down into it. “Not without a hell of a fight.”

She smiled. It almost felt like old times. They were finally finding their way back to their normal bickering, but she had the feeling they were both playing a role. Hell, she was. She was trying to be “normal” when everything inside of her was chaos.

“True dat.”

“With all that’s going on, we haven’t had a chance to talk about my offer to buy you out,” he reminded her. “I’m still willing to do that.”

“I thought we’d already taken care of that. My answer remains no. I’m sorry if I’ve given you the impression that I’m someone who walks away from a difficult situation.”

“Okay, okay. So what are you going to do to convince the Playtone board of directors to keep you on?”

Aside from doing a deal with Jack White, which was a long shot, she had no idea. Her plans for her future at the merged company were vague. It wasn’t like her to be so wishy-washy, but she was tired of the entire family feud thing and was beginning to wonder if she even liked video games. She’d never admit that particular fact to a living soul. There were parts of the company that she loved, but right now she couldn’t name them. There had been so much contention lately with the Montrose heirs that she hadn’t been able to enjoy going to work.

“I am working on a push for Cari’s holiday game. It will launch in two weeks’ time and my team is working to make sure it’s a hit.”

Her sister and the development team had come up with an idea for a game app for the holidays that enabled players to decorate houses and Christmas trees, and then post screen shots to the online game center to try to get the most votes for their decor. The leaderboard was updated every day. The project had used existing assets at the company, so had a really low cost, and Emma believed it was that kind of out-of-the-box thinking that had saved Cari’s job. It wasn’t that there weren’t other holiday apps; it was more the fact that Infinity Games had never done one before and that practically every component of the game was pure profit.

“That’s good, but it won’t be enough to save your job,” he said.

She wished there was something easy or magical she could do to get herself out of this situation. But it was hard enough to be in this position, let alone having to come up with something so revolutionary it would impress the board at Playtone. It was going to take a lot to do that. Kell, Dec and Allan hated her grandfather and Infinity Games for what they’d done to old Thomas Montrose, and they wanted her to fail.

She held back a sigh—she’d never let Allan see that kind of weakness from her. “I’m not about to let you win. I don’t care if I have to work 24/7 when we get back from taking care of this business on the East Coast. That’s what I’ll do.”

He gave her that cocky half grin of his. “I expected a fight. Glad to hear you will be delivering one.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he said. “I like our skirmishes.”

“Is that all our encounters are to you?” she asked, thinking of that one kiss they’d shared. There was something weird about kissing your enemy and finding some attraction there.

“Are you asking about the night of Patti and John’s wedding?”

“Yes. Seemed like we weren’t at war that night.”

“Well, we were, but we got distracted,” he said.

“Until someone prettier came along,” she said, remembering watching another bridesmaid, Camille Bolls, walk out of Allan’s hotel room the morning after.

He shook his head. “There is no one who can compare to you.”

“Ah, I’ve looked in the mirror. I’m not a classic beauty,” Jessi admitted. And clearly not his type. It didn’t bother her. Really, it didn’t. She had chosen her look a long time ago and had done it deliberately. Most people saw her modern punk exterior and decided she was hard as nails. Exactly what she’d intended when she’d had her nose pierced and a small tattoo done on her collarbone near the hollow of her throat. It was discreet and could be covered with the collar of most blouses.

“No, but there is still...something about you that makes it hard to look away,” he said.

“You must have an iron will because you don’t have any problems doing it,” she said.

He leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees and his expression more sincere than she’d seen in a while. “That’s because I’m not a sap. I know better than to let you think there is anything between us. You’d use it, and me, to get whatever you wanted.”

She shrugged. It would be nice to believe she had that kind of power over him. “Good thing I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago.”

“Sometimes I don’t know whether to arm wrestle you or kiss you.”

“Kiss me? That didn’t really get us anywhere the last time,” she said.

“I was hesitant because of business complications, but now Playtone has the upper hand with Infinity and there is nothing stopping me from taking what I want.”

“Except me,” she said softly.

She looked over at him to gauge his reaction, and it was clear that he took it as a challenge. Suddenly, she was able to let herself forget about everything else that had happened today. Forget about the mess that her life was at this moment and remember that Allan McKinney was the one man who’d always been a worthy opponent.

“Except you,” he said, “But I have a feeling you want to know if that one kiss was a fluke, as well.”

“I have a feeling you’re nothing but ego,” she countered, refusing to let him see that she was intrigued. She’d never admit it out loud, but she’d had more than one hot fantasy about him.

She didn’t really want to do this now, didn’t want to have some kind of intense physical attraction to Allan McKinney. But there was no denying that she’d thought about that embrace more times than she’d wanted to over the past year and a half. She’d thought about him more than she’d wanted to. And those thoughts hadn’t always involved fantasies of seeing him roasted over a pit.

She had to admit that in her musings he was usually shirtless, and most times they were both overheated. But that was her secret desire, and no way was she letting anything like that out in the open.

* * *

She looked so determined and at the same time so adorable.... What was wrong with him? Had he really become so bored with life that the only time he felt truly engaged was when he was going toe-to-toe with this woman? He could deny it all he wanted, but he knew the truth. There was something about Jessi that turned him on.

They were alone in the jet and would be for the entirety of the flight. Fawkes rode up front in the cockpit and functioned as copilot.

Allan had thought of Jessi as steel-hearted before today. She’d always seemed sort of a ballbuster until he’d seen the cracks and chinks in her tough-girl facade. Even when she’d hired that P.I. to investigate John before he’d married Patti, Allan hadn’t realized that she’d done it because of her deep emotional attachments, not just to be a bitch. Because she cared about her friend...maybe even loved her. He’d never suspected that the woman who needled him the way she did could be as soft as he was beginning to suspect she was.

“I think I might be able to persuade you to come around to my way of thinking about sex instead of love,” he said. He needed to change the dynamic between them. Get them back to the familiar footing they’d always been on.

“That’s putting a lot of pressure on your charm and sex appeal,” she said with a wry grin.

“Trying to take potshots at my ego?” He put his hand over his heart. “Hoping to see if you can deflate me?”

“Sort of. Is it working?”

“Nah, I still know I’m all that and a bag of doughnuts,” he said.

She laughed, but it sounded a little forced to him, and he realized she was on edge, too. Maybe because she’d felt something for him that one night, or maybe it still had to do with John’s and Patti’s deaths. Allan had no idea, and if he were honest, he didn’t care at this moment. Thinking about Jessi, sparring with her, kept him from remembering his best friend was dead.

“You’re some piece of work,” she said. “Let’s see what you’re bringing to the game, big boy. How are you going to tempt me?”

“I thought I’d make it into a challenge,” he said.

“What kind?”

She seemed intrigued, and he had to wonder if maybe she needed a distraction, the way he did. They’d always made bets over outrageous things and always honored them. In fact, if she weren’t so...well, if she weren’t Jessi, he’d actually like her. But she was Jessi. A Chandler. A prickly, ornery woman with as much cuddliness as a porcupine.

“One you won’t want to lose,” he said.

“I’m listening.”

“I’m betting that you’re attracted to me and that you can’t control yourself better than I can when we put each other to the test,” he said. It was a calculated risk. A chance to prove to himself that his iron willpower over his body and his sexual prowess were still intact. Because there was something very different about Jessi, something that he didn’t entirely know how to deal with.

“I know I can,” she said. “So what’s in it for me?”

He thought about it for a few long minutes, shifting back in the chair. Just thinking of kissing her made him stir, so he stretched his long legs out in front of him to relieve the pressure on his groin.

“If you win I’ll help you keep your job at the newly merged Playtone-Infinity Games,” he said.

A light went out of her eyes and he saw her nibble on her lower lip. He didn’t know what he’d said to cause that reaction, and made a mental note to pursue the question at another time.

“And if you win?” she asked.

“You let me buy you out,” he said. “You walk away from gaming a wealthy woman.”

“If you agree to help me, can you guarantee that I won’t be axed?” she asked. “Because I don’t think Kell is going to be that impressed with you saying that you lost a kissing contest with me and that’s why you have to keep me on.”

“Oh, Jess, I’m not going to lose,” Allan said. “But if I do, I will help you by making my network of contacts available to you. I have a feeling that with those connections you’d be unstoppable.”

“Why not just do that anyway?” she asked.

“We’re enemies, remember? From the first moment we met you knew I was a Montrose cousin and I knew you were a Chandler sister.”

“True. The family feud will always be there, won’t it? Even though Cari and Dec have a son and are planning to get married...there’s still bad blood between our families in your eyes.”

“It’s hard to just dismiss it,” he said. “So do we have a deal?”

She crossed her arms under her breasts while she leaned back in her chair, then crossed her slim legs. She wore boots that would look ridiculous on anyone else, combat boots with a thick, three-inch heel that gave her added height. Tight-fitting leather pants and a loose, sheer black blouse completed the outfit. But it wasn’t inappropriate, given that it was Jessi. He could tell by her all-black outfit that she was mourning.

“All I have to do to win is make sure you are more affected by one kiss than I am?” she asked.

“That’s it. Keep in mind in certain circles I’m known as—”

“The man with a big mouth and bigger ego?” she taunted.

“You’re going down, Chandler,” he said.

“Only if I agree to your deal. And given how hard you’re pushing for me to accept it, I’d say I’m destined to win.”

“There was something destined to happen,” he said, leaning forward in his chair and putting his hands on the armrests on either side of her. “Stop baiting me and make your choice.”

“Am I baiting you?” she asked, shifting closer to him and tilting her head to one side as she stared at his mouth.

“You know you are,” he said, trying to ignore the tingling of his lips. He was in control here.

“Well, then I guess I’m going to have to accept your wager. Prepare to lose, McKinney,” she said.

* * *

Jessi came over to him and straddled his lap. Slowly, she eased forward and brought her mouth down on his. Her only thought was to do this and win, and then she’d focus on keeping her job. But the moment her mouth met his something changed.

It had been easy to tell herself that her memory of what had happened between them at the wedding wasn’t accurate, or that everything had been due to the champagne she’d drunk that night. But now, in the cold reality at thirty-five thousand feet in the air, there was no denying that the attraction she felt for him was real.

His mouth was firm against hers and his lips were soft. He was letting her be the aggressor, and she took full advantage of that, running her tongue over the seam where his lips met. He tasted minty and fresh, and she pulled back, but felt his hand on her head, keeping her in place.

His tongue traced her lips, as well, and she wondered if he’d like the flavor of her strawberry lip gloss or if it would be too sweet for him. But he didn’t say anything, only kept coming back to taste more of it and of her.

She opened her mouth and felt the brush of his tongue over hers. She wanted to moan, but kept that sound locked away. She struggled to remember she was competing here. And suddenly it seemed stupid to her that the first man she’d kissed in a long time—and wanted to keep on kissing—was playing a game with her.

She closed her eyes and let herself experience the embrace of a man who made her want to forget she was a Chandler, and just enjoy being a woman.

His mouth was warm, and he tasted good. So good she never wanted the kiss to end. She shifted to get closer to him, but he kept the distance between them and she realized she was in danger of losing this bet. She hadn’t anticipated having to fight her own urges while she kissed him.

She tried to think of Allan, tried to stem the need welling up inside her to feel his solid chest pressed against hers. Tried to forget that she’d seen him shirtless enough times to know that he had solid pecs and a well-developed six-pack. Tried to forget that the man was seriously ripped.

She was losing it and losing the challenge. But then she felt the barest movement of his fingers against her neck. The tracing of a pattern that sent shivers down her spine and electric tingles through her entire body. Dammit, she thought, as every nerve ending started to pulse in time with her heartbeat.

She reached for his head. Tunneled her fingers through his thick hair and pulled him closer. She thrust her tongue deep into his mouth and forced him to take her. Reminded him that she was in control of this desire and this embrace.

But then he answered back and she was once again adrift. Forced to forget about wagers and feuds and every single thing except the way his mouth felt against hers and the way he made her wish this kiss would never end.

She rubbed her thumb against the base of his neck in a small circle and felt his heartbeat quicken. She took her time spreading her fingers out and enjoying the feel of his scalp under her hand, until she shifted forward and forced his head to the side, where she could take more control of their embrace.

But it was no longer about power or winning. Now she was kissing him because the taste of him was addictive. She’d never forget this one moment for years to come; she knew it with bone-deep certainty. The way he felt with just her hands in his hair and her lips on his. The way his tongue felt deep in her mouth as the smell of his aftershave surrounded her.

The dreams and desires she’d forced aside for too long came rushing up to her and she saw a chance to have everything she’d ever wanted. A man who could make her feel real desire and an out to walk away from the gaming world once and for all. All she’d have to do was give up everything she’d made herself into as an adult.

She’d have to lose to Allan. She’d have to show him that she could be vulnerable, and she’d have to admit it all out loud.

She sucked his lower lip into her mouth and bit down, and then rubbed her tongue over it to soothe it. She didn’t think she could do that. But when she felt his hands tightening in her hair for a moment and a low groan issued from the back of his throat, she realized she might not have to.

He pulled his mouth from hers. She opened her eyes to look up into his intense gaze, and shook from what she saw there. He might want to pretend that she was nothing more than an old enemy to him, but the truth was there in those dilated pupils and in the flush across his cheekbones.

She almost cursed out loud as she realized there was no winner in this. No outcome that could be decided other than the truth. She was attracted to him. And though she’d hoped that maybe kissing him would distract her from the lonely feeling in her soul, it hadn’t worked. In fact, she really wanted to just curl up next to him and forget about challenges and the world outside, and take some comfort in his arms.

If he hadn’t made this a contest and if she’d been a different sort of woman—the kind who was okay being emotional and needy—then she’d be able to just rest her head on his shoulder and admit that she hadn’t ever felt this scared and alone before.

“So...” he said. “That was more than I expected.”

“Me, too,” she admitted. “I guess we underestimated how much we’d enjoy each other.”

“I sure did. Tonight especially, I...I enjoyed kissing you, Jessi.”

“Me, too, Allan. I don’t think you’re my archnemesis anymore.”

“That’s good. So what are we going to do about this? Is it just grief? Did we turn to each other because our friends are gone?”

She shrugged. A part of her wanted to say yes and make this about the tragedy that had brought them both together. But she knew that would be a lie. And lying even to herself was something she didn’t like to do.

“I really don’t know,” she admitted.

“Me, either. I have always been able to... Never mind. The real question is what are we going to do about it?”

She didn’t have an answer. There wasn’t a clear solution. He had surprised her and made her realize that there was more to this man than she’d previously thought. Because if he’d been all ego, then he would have swaggered away from her. But he was sitting across from her, looking just as perplexed as she was.

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