The Nanny Agreement

Widower Silas Jones needs a mother for his daughter, and marriage could help his former sweetheart repair her tattered reputation. Yet he can’t blame Rose Stone when she refuses a marriage of convenience after he once broke her heart, marrying another woman to save his family’s farm. He’s blessed Rose agrees to be his nanny. If only she’d look at him again with the warmth she shows little Milly...

Rose’s tarnished past hasn’t quelled her spirit. She’s building a good life in Colorado with her infant son—and the glimmer of a future with Silas. But when his in-laws try to claim Milly, Rose must decide if the makeshift family she and Silas have forged can reopen her heart to love.

“I haven’t taken time to be a good friend to you.”

There it was again. The goodness in her that she failed to see.

“I can’t think of a greater friend than someone who, despite how I broke your heart, would do as much for Milly and me as you have. None of my friends in Ohio would even give me a job.”

Silas looked over at her, but Rose’s gaze remained focused on the ground. “I did so very grudgingly.”

“I know. But you did, which is far more than anyone else.”

The moonlight cast shadows over her face, framed by the tendrils that had fallen out of her bun. He let the silence hang between them, and her thoughts, whatever they may be, work through whatever she needed. For the first time since he’d come to Leadville, sitting alone with Rose felt almost comfortable. If only he didn’t remember the evenings when they’d sat in the moonlight, laughing, kissing and planning a future that was never to be.

Dear Reader,

Some books are easier to write than others, and I’m going to go on record as saying this was one of the hardest. Bringing redemption to Rose was the easy part; the difficulty was realizing that the lesson about forgiveness was more than just her forgiving Silas for breaking her heart. Forgiveness seems to be an easy task, but as anyone who has struggled with forgiveness can tell you, it sometimes takes a lot more than saying, “I forgive you.” Writing Rose’s story forced me to look at places in my own heart where I’d been struggling to forgive, and I knew I couldn’t do her story justice unless I was willing to take a journey through my own unforgivingness.

If you’re like me, and there are things in your life that you’ve struggled to let go of, don’t lose heart! I’ve learned that the regions of the heart where forgiveness needs to permeate resemble the layers of the earth. Some are thin, porous, and water has no trouble finding its way to the deeper layers. Other areas are thick, dense rock, seemingly impenetrable. But nothing is impossible with God’s love, and ultimately, even the hardest of hearts can experience forgiveness at the very core.

Obviously, though I’ve poured my heart into this book, and shared a little about God’s work in me in this letter, there is so much more I can say. If you’d like additional resources on forgiveness, please visit my website at danicafavorite.com and look for the section on forgiveness.

I always love hearing from my readers, so feel free to connect with me at the following places:

Website: danicafavorite.com.

Twitter: Twitter.com/danicafavorite.

Instagram: Instagram.com/danicafavorite.

Facebook: Facebook.com/danicafavoriteauthor.

Abundant blessings to you and yours,

Danica Favorite

DANICA FAVORITE loves the adventure of living a creative life. She loves to explore the depths of human nature and follow people on the journey to happily-ever-after. Though the journey is often bumpy, those bumps refine imperfect characters as they live the life God created them for. Oops, that just spoiled the ending of Danica’s stories. Then again, getting there is all the fun. Find her at danicafavorite.com.

For the Sake of the Children

Danica Favorite

www.millsandboon.co.uk

MILLS & BOON

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Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

—Matthew 18:21–22

For my precious Linnie,

As president of your fan club, I’m so grateful for being allowed glimpses into your life. As a writer, I’m really glad your mommy was willing to answer all my questions that began with “What would Linnie say?” I can’t wait to see what an incredible woman you’re going to grow up into. Thanks, Kristen, for sharing Linnie with me.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

About the Author

Title Page

Bible Verse

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Epilogue

Extract

Copyright

Chapter One

Leadville, Colorado, 1882

The cheerful yellow house didn’t look all that imposing as Silas Jones stood in front of its fence for the fourth time that day. Yet he paused at the gate, as he’d done on each of his previous trips, unable to bring himself to open the latch and walk the few steps to the porch and knock on the door.

He turned to walk back toward Harrison Avenue, then over to the boardinghouse he’d been staying in for the past couple of days. Maybe coming to Leadville had been a fool’s errand, but he’d had no place else to go. At least not where he could keep his daughter safe from the Garretts.

Smiling down at the little girl in his arms, he gave her a squeeze. “It’s going to be all right, Milly. Papa’s going to find a way.”

Barely two years old, she was too young to understand his anxiety. Or just how much was at stake. Silas took a breath to calm the thundering in his chest. He had no reason to expect that Rose wouldn’t hear him out, other than the fact that the last time he’d seen her, three years ago, she was tossing daggers at him with her eyes in church.

He’d deserved those daggers. Actually, he’d deserved far worse, and he knew it. But he’d like to think that deep inside Rose Stone was a compassionate woman who’d understand that he’d had no choice but to break her heart.

Silas shook his head. Who was he kidding? Of course Rose wouldn’t understand. He’d jilted her. Not so much in the eyes of the world, since theirs had been a secret engagement, but he’d jilted her all the same. Married the woman his family had picked out for him instead of following his heart and marrying Rose.

She had to hate him.

Which was why he had no idea why he’d come all the way from Ohio to Leadville, Colorado, to beg for her help in saving him.

No, not him.

Milly.

When his wife, Annie, died giving birth to their second child, her parents insisted Silas and Milly stay with them. It didn’t take long for Silas to realize that the Garretts weren’t intending for them all to be a family, but to take Milly from him. They claimed it was for the best, that a single man wasn’t fit to raise a little girl on his own.

But how could a child not having her father when she’d already lost her mother be for the best?

The only solution, of course, was to take a wife. Given that Silas had already married once for convenience, it didn’t seem such a leap to do it again. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t hope to find love the next time around. But for Milly, he was willing to do anything. After all, he’d come to love Annie in a way.

“Can I help you?” an older woman called out, pulling Silas from his mental debate.

He smiled at her. If he didn’t move forward now, he would never be able to. It would look too odd for him to leave after having spoken to someone and then to come back later.

His throat tightened, strangling his ability to speak. Milly squirmed in his arms, reminding him of his purpose.

“I’ve come to see Rose Stone. Does she live here?”

The woman stared at him like she was trying to decide if he was friend or foe. Her gaze focused on Milly, and like everyone else he’d met on his journey, she softened when she looked at the little girl.

“She does. You come on in, and I’ll get her for you.”

Silas’s feet seemed frozen to the ground. The air was crisp, chilly, to be expected for October, but not enough to render him motionless.

Milly squirmed again. “Down, Papa!”

“It’s all right,” the woman said. “We’ve enough children round here that she won’t hurt a thing. Most folks expect these young ones to behave far better than they’re able to, but we don’t pay attention to that sort of thing. Let kids be kids. That’s what we always say.”

He opened the gate and let Milly down. His daughter immediately propelled herself in the direction of the porch and the waiting woman. Silas shook his head slowly. That girl seemed only to have two speeds—stop and go. Right now, she was on go, and he could only hope that the woman meant what she said about Milly not hurting anything. The Garretts were constantly chastising Milly for her behavior. As if a two-year-old knew anything about how to behave like a proper young lady.

“Who are you talking to, Maddie?” Rose called from somewhere inside the house. “And what’s this nonsense about letting kids be kids? You were just complaining last month to Polly about her children’s fingerprints on the wallpaper, and when Uncle Frank told you that children will be children, you told him that they ought to do it in—

“Oh,” Rose said as Silas entered the house. “What are you doing here?”

She hadn’t changed a bit, at least not as far as he could tell. She still wore her dark hair piled on top of her head in an elegant way, too elegant for their small town in Ohio, yet it had always suited her. Her cheeks still had a natural rosy glow that accentuated the way her blue eyes shone in the light. Rose had gained a little weight, and her figure seemed fuller, but he’d always thought her just a little too thin.

In essence, she was still as breathtakingly beautiful as she’d been three years ago.

“I was hoping we could...talk.”

Maddie entered behind him, holding Milly by the hand. “She is a dear. Makes me miss little Isabella. I do wish they’d come back up from Denver soon.”

Rose sighed. “So that’s what your change of heart toward children is about. You know Mitch had business to take care of, and you can’t expect Polly and the children to stay behind. I’m sure they’ll return as soon as they can.”

With a quick glance in Silas’s direction, Rose said, “Not that it’s any of your business, but Polly and Mitch are close friends, like family.” The glare she gave him indicated that he was not included in that label.

Though he’d once been.

Maddie smiled at Silas. “What is this little darling’s name? I’d be happy to have her in the kitchen with me while you conduct your business with Rose.”

“Her name’s Milly,” Silas said.

“He won’t be staying long,” Rose said at the same time.

“All the same, I’ve got a cookie with Milly’s name on it in the kitchen.” Then she bent down to Milly. “You do like cookies, don’t you?”

Wide-eyed, Milly nodded as Maddie took her to the back of the house.

“The only reason I’m not throwing you out is because it would break Maddie’s heart not to spend time with that little girl of yours.” Then Rose glared at him. “I’m assuming she’s yours.”

“Yes.” A knot formed in Silas’s chest. Though he didn’t necessarily expect a warm welcome from Rose, this felt wrong.

“Where’s Annie?”

The question was a knife in his heart. “She died.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

The coldness in her voice told him she was anything but. Her gaze held little sympathy for him, and while he couldn’t blame her, he missed the easy smiles she’d once given him. Did she still smile?

Before he could come up with an appropriate response, a baby cried in the other room.

“I need to take care of him.”

Rose turned and walked into the next room, barely acknowledging Silas, and not inviting him to join her. He did anyway.

He watched as she picked up a baby out of a basket. “There now,” she cooed, “Mama’s here.”

Mama.

The knife Rose had been slowly twisting in his heart jabbed him so painfully he thought it might have come out the other side of his body.

She had a child. It had never occurred to him, when he’d found out Rose’s address from a mutual friend, that she might be married. He’d assumed that if she’d gotten married, he’d have heard folks talking about it. Then again, he’d had to ask several people to even get her address.

“Your husband is a blessed man.” The words felt like shards of glass on his tongue coming out, but he had to say them. Had to consider Rose’s happiness in the situation above his own desperate need.

“I have no husband,” Rose said coolly, cradling the baby as she turned to face him.

“But the baby...”

“Is my son.”

Silas stared at her for a moment. “I don’t understand.”

With a long sigh, Rose sat on a nearby chair. “We both know where babies come from. There’s nothing to understand. I have a child. It happens sometimes.”

He’d known Rose to be angry on occasion, but mostly, he’d known her sweetness. This coldness... Silas didn’t know. Nor did he know how such an upstanding young lady would find herself in this situation.

“The baby’s father?”

“Is dead. And I wouldn’t have married him anyway.”

“But...”

Rose made a noise in the back of her throat. “Look. I did something I’m not proud of. For a brief period of time, I turned away from the Lord. I made a horrible mistake. But God, in His mercy, chose to bless me with a child who brings me more joy than I could have ever imagined. Some folks might say that my reputation is forever tarnished, but I am too grateful for this baby to care.”

Then she shot him a look deadlier than he’d ever thought her capable of. “And that is all I will say on the matter.”

The baby fussed in her arms. “Matthew needs to eat. Say your piece and be gone so I can feed him.”

Her eyes darkened with a flash of defensiveness Silas remembered from all the times the other girls at church made fun of her for being poor. No wonder she seemed so different. How often did Rose have to defend herself to the women in this town for having a baby out of wedlock? He’d known, of course, that there were the babies born seven months into a hasty marriage. But he didn’t know a single woman from a respectable family who’d had a child without marrying the father.

How difficult her life must be.

Granted, she’d come to Leadville because her brother had discovered a fortune in silver, taking their family from poor relations dependent on an aunt who resented them to wealthy patrons of society. Silas had only been in town for a couple of days, and he’d heard the Stone name bandied about as being a much-admired family. He hadn’t heard anything about Rose, but now it made sense.

Perhaps his need of a wife fit more comfortably with Rose’s needs than he could have imagined. A husband, even this far after the fact, would quickly raise Rose’s standing as a respectable woman.

“My daughter needs a mother,” Silas said quietly, slowly, then added, “and it seems your son needs a father.”

Rose made a noise in the back of her throat and shook her head. “Please tell me that you did not come all this way, thinking I somehow still held a torch for you and would be grateful for the opportunity to be your wife.”

Put that way, his idea sounded even more ridiculous. Three years was a long time, and... Silas let out a long sigh.

“I suppose I didn’t think the idea through as well as I should have.”

“Clearly.” The baby fussed louder, and Rose stood, bouncing him against her body. “He really does need to eat.”

The front door opened, and Silas heard the sounds of men talking. He turned and saw Rose’s brother, Joseph, along with an older man, enter.

“Silas!” Joseph greeted him warmly. “What brings you to Leadville?”

Rose made an exasperated noise. “He thought that since his wife died, I’d be pining away for him, and would jump at the opportunity to take her place and raise their daughter. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to feed Matthew.”

Hearing her tell Joseph only made Silas’s plan sound all the more wrong. Why hadn’t he considered it on a deeper level? His only excuse was the desperation he’d felt when he’d overheard the Garretts talking about a visit to their lawyer, and how they were going to try to take Milly away from him.

But Rose wasn’t giving him the chance to explain. Not when she was already on her way out of the room with the baby.

Silas looked at Joseph, who wore a concerned expression on his face. The older man put his hand on Joseph’s shoulder.

“I think we should hear this young man out.” The older man held out a hand to Silas. “Frank Lassiter. Joseph is married to my daughter, Annabelle, and I consider the entire Stone family my own. Now have a seat and tell us why you’re here.”

Frank gestured toward a chair next to the one Rose had vacated. Even at the few feet’s distance, he could still smell the rosewater scent she preferred. She used to say that if she was named after one, she should smell like one, too. Silas closed his eyes. He hadn’t expected so many of the old feelings to rise up in him again.

Then he shook his head. More of his foolishness.

“I suppose it’s like Rose said. My wife died several months ago. I’m doing my best to raise our daughter on my own, but there are circumstances that make it difficult. A wife would help the situation.”

“What circumstances?” Joseph glared at him.

Silas swallowed. He supposed he’d done enough to damage his pride already. Might as well tell them. Besides, Joseph was a good man. He’d left Ohio shortly after Silas married Annie, but they’d always gotten along.

“Annie’s parents don’t think it’s appropriate for a single man to be raising his daughter alone. They were in the process of taking legal action to take her away from me. I thought if I got married again, their argument wouldn’t hold water, and I wouldn’t have to worry about losing Milly.”

“And there were no eligible women in Ohio?” The sarcasm in Joseph’s voice reminded Silas of Rose. Only Joseph’s tone lacked the bitterness Rose held.

“Rose and I loved each other once,” Silas said quietly. “I’d hoped...”

Now his hopes seemed foolish.

“You broke her heart.” Joseph leaned forward, staring at him. “How could you think she’d welcome you so easily?”

He wanted to say that it was because, after three years of being married to someone else, of doing everything he could to be a good husband to Annie, that he’d been unable to forget Rose. Not in the sense that he was still in love with her, rather, he had many fond memories of their time together. Surely they could build something on that.

He’d been wrong.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Silas said instead. “I was so desperate to find a way to keep my daughter that I suppose I didn’t consider Rose’s feelings had changed.”

“You didn’t consider them at all,” Joseph said quietly.

In the one conversation Silas had with Rose after his engagement to Annie was announced, she called him selfish, only thinking of himself and not of anyone else. He’d tried explaining that to marry Rose would have been selfish—his parents’ farm was in trouble, but by marrying the daughter of the family with the adjoining farm, it could be saved. But now, he wondered if perhaps her words were true.

“I didn’t mean to be selfish.” Silas ran his hands down his face. “I truly just wanted to do right by my daughter. I never meant to cause Rose any pain.”

Frank nodded slowly. “I can see that. But it seems to me that two folks marrying to solve a problem only ever creates more problems. Rose deserves a man who considers her happiness above his own, and you deserve happiness, as well. So let’s figure out a way to help you besides you marrying our girl.”

* * *

Rose couldn’t believe what she heard as she reentered the room.

“Why haven’t you gotten rid of him?”

“Now, Rose,” Uncle Frank said gently, “Silas is here because he needs help, and it is our Christian duty to do what we can for him.”

“He needs help because he’s a lying snake.” Rose glared at him, then turned to her brother. “Please tell me that you aren’t part of this scheme.”

Joseph gave an unapologetic shrug. “If it weren’t for Silas’s father giving me work on their farm when they could ill afford it, I wouldn’t have had the money to come to Leadville, and then we wouldn’t have the life we do. I owe him a debt.”

“Which was canceled the day he broke his word to me about getting married.”

She hadn’t expected, even after three years, that it would still hurt to think about how, the day after she was supposed to meet him to run away to get married, his father had announced in church that Silas was marrying Annie Garrett.

Granted, she’d been over an hour late for their meeting, but Silas knew how hard it was for her to get away. Why hadn’t he waited for her? How long had he waited by the old oak tree before he’d gone over to the Garrett farm and had pie with Annie? Had he even come?

For as long as she’d thought about those questions, they should have easily been on her tongue to ask him. But the truth was, as much as they hurt, the answers didn’t matter. He’d married Annie, not Rose.

“I’m sorry,” Silas said quietly. “What I did to you was unforgivable. But I hope you’ll let me make amends.”

“Amends?” Tears stung the backs of her eyes, but Rose willed them to stay in place. Silas didn’t deserve the satisfaction of knowing how many tears she’d cried over him. “I hope you don’t think that your offer of marriage can possibly...”

Silas shook his head, looking so mournful that Rose almost felt bad for being so harsh with him. “I spoke in haste. I was wrong to assume...”

Then he straightened, squaring his shoulders. “The truth is I need a wife so Annie’s parents can’t take Milly from me. I saw how you cared for your siblings, for the other children in our church. You’re the only person I would trust Milly with.”

Fighting to keep her composure, Rose took a deep breath. Of course this wasn’t about rekindling their flame. Everyone knew Silas had married Annie for her farm. Now he wanted to marry her to give his daughter a mother. A glorified nanny, only with marriage.

“I see,” she said slowly, looking at Joseph to see if he, too, understood that this was just another selfish maneuver that would only lead to her heartbreak—again.

He followed her gaze, nodding at Joseph, who nodded back. “No, you don’t. My first marriage, though I have nothing to complain about, lacked the kind of love a man and a woman ought to share.”

Then, with a darkness in his eyes Rose had never seen before, he said, “Joseph and Frank reminded me that I shouldn’t settle for that kind of marriage again. I deserve better, and the woman I marry deserves better.”

With a long sigh, Silas brought his attention back to Rose. “It was wrong of me to come here, thinking that marriage to you was the answer to my problems. I sincerely apologize for any heartache it might have caused you.”

Rose’s stomach twisted. What did Silas know of the heartache he’d caused? She’d finally found a way to live in peace with her broken heart, and now he had to come to remind her of all the mistakes she’d made.

“And,” he continued, “I apologize for the way I broke your heart back in Ohio. It was wrong of me to court you in secret, knowing my father and Annie’s father were in negotiations over our marriage. I thought...”

Another dark look crossed his face, and for a moment, Rose thought he might actually be in physical pain. But just as quickly as it came, the expression left.

“Well, I don’t suppose it matters what I thought. No matter how I justified it then, looking back, I had no right to trifle with your heart. My only excuse is that I truly believed my intentions were honorable. I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Real regret sounded in his voice, and as much as the anger churning in Rose’s gut wanted to tell him that all of his justifications meant nothing, the weight of Uncle Frank’s gaze on her reminded her that her sins made her no better than Silas.

“I suppose that we all do things that are wrong, justifying them with all kinds of excuses, when deep down, we know that we shouldn’t.” The ache in her belly started to subside, and Rose took a deep breath. “I’ve made my own share of mistakes, but Uncle Frank is constantly reminding me that the Lord loves and forgives me anyway.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath. Oh, she knew what she was supposed to do here. Forgive Silas. That’s what Uncle Frank preached about constantly—loving and forgiving others. She’d thought it hard enough to forgive Ben Perry, the father of her child, an outlaw who’d only been using her to get his hands on her family’s fortune. But she had. It had taken so much prayer, so much time reading her Bible, but it wasn’t until she held little Matthew that she understood that she couldn’t possibly hate someone who’d given her such an incredible gift.

Her family had forgiven her for the scandal she’d brought upon them by running away with an outlaw. They’d forgiven her for the scandal of her child born out of wedlock. Even when members of the church had left the congregation because they were shocked that Uncle Frank would not condemn Rose for her behavior, her family had stood by her in love and acceptance.

Rose didn’t feel like forgiving Silas. No, she felt like raging at him for how deeply he’d hurt her. How that hurt had made her do unspeakable things, hurting those she loved. Her insides churned, reminding her of how his abandonment had left her raw and empty.

But how could she be a hypocrite, and deny him that which had been offered to her so freely?

Rose took a deep breath. “I forgive you, Silas.”

Saying the words should have made her feel better, but they didn’t. All the years she’d dreamed of him crawling back to her, saying how sorry he was, it didn’t change any of the pain in her heart. Uncle Frank had told her that sometimes forgiveness meant acting on it long before you felt it, but in Rose’s case, she wondered if she would ever feel that particular emotion.

Forgiving him might be the right thing to do, but it didn’t ease the pain in her heart. It didn’t make any of the things that had happened any better. And even though everyone else in the room looked relieved at Rose’s words, they only made her feel worse.

Uncle Frank had told her that forgiveness was a process. That when Jesus said you had to forgive someone seventy times seven, He meant it almost literally, because some things hurt so much that you had to keep forgiving, even when it hurt, until the pain went away. If that were the case, then Rose supposed she had another 489 more times to go.

Please, Lord, help me. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to have to keep forgiving Silas. Not when my heart hurts so very much.

Rose’s only consolation was knowing that, now that she’d said the words, to Silas, and in front of her family, Silas could return home, and continue with his life. And Rose could do the same.

Chapter Two

Rose’s words sounded hollow, fake. Like they had when her Aunt Ina would ask her to do something, and she didn’t want to do it but knew she had no choice but to obey. But she’d said she forgave him, and Silas had an equal obligation to accept.

“Thank you,” Silas said quietly, wishing it could be like the old times when he could tell her that he knew she didn’t mean it and that he understood. But they no longer had the kind of relationship where they could be so honest with one another.

“Good, good.” Frank clapped Silas on the back. “I told you it would all work out. Now that things are settled between you and Rose, we need to figure out how you’re going to keep that beautiful little girl of yours.”

Silas turned to look at him. “I don’t understand.”

Joseph chuckled. “Ah, my friend, you really had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you told Frank of your situation. I’ve yet to see him let anyone leave without a reliable solution to their problems.”

Rose let out a long sigh, and the pained expression on her face made Silas wish he’d never come. He’d wronged her; she’d forgiven him, but it seemed that his presence only rubbed salt into her wounds. Silas truly hadn’t intended to hurt her. Hadn’t dreamed that he’d be causing her this much pain by reentering her life.

“It’s all right,” Silas said, looking at Rose. “I’m sure we’ll manage just fine.”

“None of that.” Frank clapped him on the back again. “There’s no sense in going it alone when you have others willing to come alongside you and help. You have too much at stake to let your pride intervene.”

Silas had thought he’d already given up much of his pride just coming here. Facing Rose and realizing how much damage he’d done, it wasn’t pride that made him want to leave, but an earnest desire not to hurt her anymore.

Milly came running into the room. “Papa!”

Her little voice made any indecision he might have had disappear. No, he didn’t want to hurt Rose, but his actions now weren’t about her. Rather, they were about a small child who needed him.

Silas scooped her up in his arms. “Were you a good girl?”

“An absolute darling,” Maddie said, smiling. “I don’t think I’ve met such a well-behaved young lady. She just sat at the table, proper as could be, and ate her cookie. She even let me wipe her hands and face without so much as a whimper.”

That, of course, was the Garretts’ doing. They believed that children were to be seen, not heard, and worked very hard at training Milly to be perfectly quiet and obedient. Annie had been the same way. As much as he regretted not loving Annie fully, Silas had often wondered if Annie harbored any romantic feelings toward him. Most times it seemed as though marrying Silas was one more of Annie’s acts of obedience to her parents.

“I’m glad she behaved for you,” Silas said, ruffling his daughter’s feathery blond hair. Though he’d seen other parents at church lament how their little ones misbehaved, he wished his own daughter would take life into her own hands sometimes and throw the kind of tantrum that meant the Garretts hadn’t completely broken her spirit.

Milly leaned into him and let out a contented sigh. Then Silas turned toward Frank. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep my daughter. What do you have in mind?”

It wasn’t Frank, but Joseph, who answered. “How’s your father’s farm doing?”

If Silas hadn’t been facing arrows of all kinds shot in his direction since arriving here, he might have felt the agonizing pain of this one. Instead, it was just one more dig at the wounds he carried.

“Gone.” Silas swallowed the sour liquid rising from his stomach. “My father died shortly after I married Annie, and the Garretts absorbed the farm. Now that Annie’s gone...”

He didn’t want to finish the sentence. Marrying Annie had cost Silas everything. With her death, the loss had been just as complete. Meeting Joseph’s eyes, he said, “The Garretts are already arranging the sale of the farm so they can move to town. Robert Garrett’s health is failing, and he can’t work the farm anymore. That was supposed to be the reason for my marriage to Annie. But now, the Garretts think it ‘isn’t seemly’ for me to remain in that capacity.”

“What are you doing to support yourself?” Joseph’s question stung, mostly because only a few years ago, the situation had been reversed. Joseph, willing to do anything to support his family, and Silas, looking for ways to help him.

“Anything I can find. The Garretts have made it hard for me to find work anywhere back home, which is part of why I left. I’ve been doing whatever honest work people offer me to get by.”

“I’m sure your lack of regular employment is one of the arguments the Garretts are using to take Milly away from you. They can provide a better life for her than you can.” Frank’s words were a bitter reminder of the battle ahead.

“Milly doesn’t need anything fancy. Food, clothes, a solid roof and a father who loves her. I just wish the Garretts could see that.”

His voice caught when he said that, making the words come out less forceful than he’d intended.

“All the same,” Frank said, “you’ll stand a better chance of keeping your daughter if you have a good job. Joseph?”

“I’m always looking for help at the mine. If I recall—”

“You can’t be serious!”

Silas had almost forgotten Rose was in the room, but her outburst was enough to remind everyone that he wasn’t the only one affected by the discussion happening.

“Now, Rose, dear...” Frank’s voice was gentle, and Rose’s eyes filled with tears.

“I know.” Her shoulders shook slightly. “I’m supposed to forgive him and move on. But surely that doesn’t mean he needs to work in the mine.”

An impossible situation. Silas closed his eyes and sent a quick prayer heavenward that God would help him find a way to do the right thing by both his daughter and Rose. Then he turned and looked at her.

“I wouldn’t want to put anyone out. Perhaps your brother could recommend someone who might have work for me.”

Joseph shook his head. “None that would give you a fair deal. It’s a hard life up here, and most folks will take advantage of you, given half a chance. The Lord blessed me greatly, and it’s only fair that I share those blessings with the people who made it happen. I’m not saying that to boast because the only reason I have anything to boast about is because of the great mercies of the Lord. I can’t in good conscience let you work anywhere else.”

Then Joseph brought his attention to Rose. “And you know that’s the truth. Would you see a man with a young child taken advantage of? What would you want for Matthew?”

He didn’t wait for a response from Rose, but Silas could see the emotion playing on her face. She was at war with herself, knowing the truth of Joseph’s words, but not liking it. Silas didn’t like it much either, but having known Joseph most of his life, he knew that Joseph was a fair man. A good man. And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to working for him.

“You’ll come work for me,” Joseph said. “I have a baby girl of my own. Catherine. The joy she brings me...well, I would do anything to help another man keep that for himself.”

The defeat on Rose’s face almost made Silas tell Joseph he’d find another way. But he couldn’t. Not with the little girl tugging on his shirt.

“Down!”

“It’s all right,” Frank said. “She won’t hurt anything in here. We have enough children in the parlor that we’ve put away everything a child might damage.”

More reassurances, like the ones Maddie had given when they’d first arrived.

“Thank you.” Silas put Milly down. “The Garretts were always particular about letting Milly run around. I suppose I’m still figuring out what’s reasonable for her.”

Milly made a beeline for the sofa where Rose sat. The expression on Rose’s face went from dejection to horror as Milly raced toward her. But what could Silas say? Don’t sit next to the lady because you’re the daughter of the person she hates most in this world?

Just before she reached Rose, Milly stumbled on the edge of the carpet, sending her sprawling into the sofa.

Before Silas could react, Rose jumped up and pulled Milly into her arms.

Silas couldn’t see Milly’s face, but he knew she was trying to decide whether or not to cry.

“There now, you’re a big brave girl, aren’t you?” Rose cuddled Milly in her arms as she sat back on the sofa. “Do you see why we don’t run in the house?”

The light blond head bobbed in agreement. Rose continued cradling Milly as though she’d forgotten whose child she held.

“Did you have fun in the kitchen with Maddie?” Rose brushed Milly’s hair with her fingers, and Silas realized as Rose seemed to examine the little girl intently, she was making sure Milly wasn’t injured.

Rose kissed the top of Milly’s head. “Not even a bump.”

Milly wiggled in Rose’s arms. “I sit big chair.”

The smile Rose gave his daughter reminded Silas of why he’d thought Rose would make a good mother. There was a compassion within her that seemed to understand instinctively what a child needed. Deeper than that, though, was that her heart seemed to flow with a never-ending love for children.

Rose relaxed her hold on Milly and allowed the little girl to scoot over to the unoccupied portion of the sofa. Milly preened as she adjusted herself to a comfortable position, her little legs not even reaching the edge of the seat. Milly smiled, a wide grin flashing a mouth full of baby teeth.

“I big girl,” Milly declared, her gaze sweeping the room.

She’d never been allowed to sit on the sofa in the parlor at the Garretts’ home. They’d told Milly little girls weren’t allowed in the room, and she spent most of her time confined to the nursery.

“You sure are,” Rose said, giving Milly an affectionate pat. She turned her gaze to Silas, finally looking at him. “I don’t think she was injured in her fall.”

It hadn’t occurred to Silas that Milly would have been hurt, but he smiled at Rose all the same. “Thank you. I appreciate your kindness toward my daughter.”

“Of course. She’s a sweet girl.” Rose’s expression softened further, and as Silas studied her face, he realized once again what a difficult position he’d put her in.

Back when they were courting, they used to talk about the family they’d have together. Silas had always said he wanted a daughter with dark hair, like Rose, but Rose had always insisted that she wanted a son who resembled him.

Why had he spoken such foolishness? Oh, he’d meant the words when he spoke them. Had fervently wanted them to come true. But he’d known what his father wanted, what his family needed. He’d hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t come to the eventuality of his marriage to Annie, but it was all for naught.

He never shared any of this with Rose, never gave her the option of protecting her heart. All this time, he’d justified his actions by saying he’d only been lying to himself. But as he watched her interact with the little girl he once told her they’d have together, his heart ached. He knew that he’d lied to her, as well.

* * *

Rose was grateful when Matthew’s cries gave her an excuse to leave the room. Ordinarily, his fussiness would have frustrated her. Little Catherine had started sleeping through the night ages ago, but Matthew staunchly refused to sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. She yawned as she picked him up out of his cradle. Usually, she just kept him with her because it hardly seemed worth the effort to continue going up and down. But today, with her emotions racing all over the place, taking care of her son gave her the respite she needed.

“There, now, sweet fellow. Mama’s here.” She picked him up and cradled him against her. She hadn’t been lying when she’d said that having Matthew made up for all that she’d gone through, all the wrongs that had happened in her life.

Even now, when the brief pause in her routine gave her body room to remind her how exhausted she was, Rose still wouldn’t change any of it.

Would her life be different had Silas gone through with his plan to marry her?

Undoubtedly.

But as Matthew smiled up at her, Rose couldn’t imagine wanting that life anymore.

Matthew settled in her arms, and she thought about the little girl she’d held only a short time before. Milly. Silas clearly loved her the way she loved Matthew. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t make herself continue to hate him.

Forgiveness.

No, she didn’t feel it in her heart. In fact, she still wanted to rail at him and tell him of all the hurt she’d experienced as a result of her broken heart. But that wasn’t the way of forgiveness. It wasn’t the way of Jesus.

Although it didn’t say so explicitly, Rose knew that the part where the Bible talked about leaving everything behind for the sake of following Him also meant letting go of her old grudges. Including the one she had against Silas.

Easier said than done.

But with the Lord’s help, she’d keep trying, not for his sake, because he didn’t deserve her mercy, but because of the mercy that had been given to her.

“Rose?” Maddie appeared in the doorway. “Frank was hoping you’d rejoin them in the parlor. I believe they want you to be a part of the discussion.”

Rose nodded slowly, adjusting the baby in her arms. It seemed that God wanted her to keep facing this, to keep dealing with the pain and the hurt until it went away. So be it.

“Do you want me to take Matthew for you? We could go outside in the sun for a while. It might improve his disposition.”

The concerned look on the older woman’s face wasn’t meant as a criticism, but an honest offer of help. Everyone in the Lassiter house had taken turns up with Matthew all night in hopes that someone could get him to sleep. His fussing would be a distraction in the room with the others, but Rose couldn’t bear to give him up. Not when he served as a reminder that every wound, every moment she suffered, and yes, every mistake, was worth it.

“I’ll be fine.” She adjusted the baby in her arms as she handed him his favorite rattle. It would keep him occupied for a short time at least.

Maddie pursed her lips disapprovingly, and she was probably right to do so. But Matthew wasn’t fussing now, and Rose needed the comfort of the baby in her arms.

She carried him to the parlor, where everyone seemed to be in cheerful conversation. Uncle Frank had found a doll for Milly to play with, and the little girl seemed content sitting on the sofa snuggling the toy.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Rose said, taking the seat she’d vacated next to Milly. She expected her heart to twist at the sight of the little girl, but when she’d held Milly in her arms, all she could think was that Milly was like any other child, in need of a few cuddles and some love. As much as Rose still found it difficult to even look at Silas, her resentment didn’t seem to carry over to his child.

“Who dat?” Milly asked, poking the baby.

“This is Matthew, my son.”

“Ma-few,” Milly said, tugging on his leg. “We pway.”

Rose smiled. “He’s too little to play. But if you wave the doll in front of him, he might smile for you.”

Milly dangled the doll in front of Matthew, making funny noises. Matthew giggled.

“He yikes me!” Milly beamed.

“He does,” Uncle Frank said, a tender tone to his voice. While Joseph’s daughter was a happy baby and seemed to giggle and smile at everything, Matthew was of a more choleric nature. Everything made him cry, and a smile was hard-won. To make her notoriously cranky son giggle required a combination of timing, patience and skill.

Even Joseph nodded approvingly. “I think this will work nicely.”

“What will work nicely?” Rose stared at her brother.

“If Silas comes to work for me, he’ll need someone to take care of Milly.”

“No,” Rose said flatly.

“I’d ask Annabelle, but she was hoping to visit her aunt Celeste and show off the baby. Since her last trip was cut short...”

Because of her. That’s what Joseph was implying. They’d been on an extended honeymoon trip, but when news of Rose’s indiscretion reached them, they’d returned home. Annabelle had said that it was because she was feeling poorly due to the baby she was expecting, but Rose knew better. They’d come back to deal with her.

If Rose continued in her insistence to not take care of Milly, they’d postpone this trip, as well. Because of her. Again.

Joseph and Uncle Frank exchanged a look. Probably in frustration over their belief that Rose was being difficult. That’s what everyone thought after all. Rose was the difficult one, always wanting her own way when it went against what the family thought best.

“Perhaps Mary...” Frank suggested.

Rose’s eyes burned. Though she and her sister were getting along much better these days, it always hurt to know that Mary was still viewed as the dependable one, and Rose the difficult one. How she tried to be as perfect as her older sister. But oh, how she failed.

Joseph shook his head. “I can’t ask that of her. She’s so close to having her own baby, and she’s already agreed to take care of our other siblings while we’re gone. It seems too much to add in one more child to the mix.”

“I thought you were bringing them?” Frank said.

Joseph sighed. “We were going to, but they would miss too much school, and while Daniel doesn’t mind, Evelyn and Bess were furious. Nugget wasn’t pleased with the prospect, either.”

With both of their parents dead, Joseph had taken on the primary responsibility for caring for their younger siblings: Evelyn, fourteen, Helen, thirteen, Daniel, ten, Bess, seven and Nugget, five. As the next eldest, their sister Mary often helped, as well. Rose did what she could, but since her scandal, it seemed like no one ever asked her anymore.

Sometimes she felt guilty for not doing more, but every time she offered to take one of her siblings or do something for them, they rebuffed her efforts.

And here they were, faced with a problem, asking for Rose’s help, but Rose was being difficult. They didn’t need to say it. Rose could tell by their expressions.

“I’ll do it,” Rose murmured.

Uncle Frank frowned. “It’s all right. I’m sure we can find someone else. We haven’t even asked—”

“I said I’ll do it,” she said, a little too forcefully, perhaps, since everyone stared at her.

“I don’t want to put you out,” Silas said, looking at her so forlornly that she felt guilty for not receiving him more warmly.

The truth was, Rose was being difficult. Years ago, when they’d all sighed at how difficult she was being, she’d felt misunderstood and angry that no one saw her side of things. Now she could recognize that she was exactly what they thought her to be. The difference was, they still didn’t see the heartache she was trying to heal from.

Matthew giggled again. Milly laughed with him.

Would it be so bad to have another child around? One who made her son smile when so few could?

Even Rose could admit that the only reason she said no was her anger toward Silas. Why should she help him when he’d hurt her?

But that wasn’t the way of forgiveness. She’d said the words and made the commitment to forgiving him. Which meant she couldn’t act out of the anger, no matter how deeply she felt it.

Why did this have to be so hard? Why couldn’t she have just said the words and Silas have been on his way, never to cross her path again?

Because something deep inside her told her that forgiveness didn’t work that way.

Rose looked at Silas, giving him the best smile she could muster. “It’s all right. I don’t mind. Matthew seems to be entertained by Milly, so I’m sure they will enjoy each other’s company.”

“And that’s something,” Joseph said, grinning. “I don’t think he’s gone this long without fussing since he was born.”

Rose sighed. She’d like to have argued with him, but he had a point. The ladies at church said he was the most contrary baby they’d ever met, and the most unkind ones said it was no wonder, given the circumstances of his birth.

With a thwap, the doll Milly had been waving in front of Matthew hit him on top of the head. Matthew began to wail.

Milly began to cry, as well. “Was assident.”

“It’s all right,” Rose said, patting the little girl with her free hand as she tried to soothe her son with the other. “I know it was. He’ll be fine.”

Then she stood, bouncing him and patting him in the way that sometimes got him to calm down. Red-faced and fists pounding, Matthew seemed completely uninterested in being comforted.

“I’m sorry,” Rose looked apologetically at Silas. “It truly wasn’t her fault. Matthew is just overly sensitive.”

She looked over at Milly, who clutched the doll to her chest. Her light eyes were full of unshed tears.

“It’s all right, Milly,” Rose said again. “Matthew’s tired, that’s all.”

The accompanying sighs from Joseph and Uncle Frank both said what she was feeling. Matthew was always tired. Just as they all were.

“He never sleeps,” Rose told Silas by way of explanation. “Just an hour or so here and there. Everyone says he’ll grow out of it, but for now, we’re all doing the best we can.”

“Can I try?” Silas held out his arms. “Everyone used to have difficulty getting Milly to sleep, but I always could.”

She should say no. At least that’s what the stubborn side of her said. But her arms were so heavy. So tired. And her practical side needed a break.

Rose handed the baby to Silas.

Matthew continued to wail.

Silas held him to his chest, tucking him tight against him. “Do you have another blanket for him?”

She grabbed one of the blankets from the side of the sofa. Silas wrapped it around the baby, pinning his arms to the side.

“He doesn’t like to be swaddled.” Rose gave a sigh. The first thing everyone tried with Matthew was swaddling him, and it only made him angrier.

True to form, his already-red face grew brighter, and his wails louder.

Silas loosened the blanket and began rocking him gently, whispering things that Rose couldn’t hear, that Matthew probably ignored. His cries were too loud for him to hear anything. At least that’s what Rose figured. But as Silas pressed Matthew against his chest, continuing to murmur whatever he’d been murmuring, Matthew began to quiet.

Then Silas sat, unwrapped the baby and played with his legs, rubbing his stomach. “His stomach hurts,” Silas said.

Rose sighed. “I know. Everyone says it’s gas, and he’ll grow out of it. But peppermint water does nothing for him.”

Silas nodded. “I know, little fellow. It’s rough, isn’t it?” Looking up at Rose, he said, “Rub his stomach like this. It’ll help.”

“How do you know?”

“Experience.”

Matthew stopped crying. His big eyes stared up at Silas, watching him.

“And the Garretts don’t think you can take care of your daughter?” Rose watched him, transfixed. No one had ever been able to get Matthew to calm down. Even the doctor, who’d tried every remedy he knew, hadn’t been able to make Matthew’s tummy troubles go away.

“Men don’t know anything about how to take care of babies.” He used a baby voice as he smiled down at Matthew. “But we know that’s not true, now, don’t we?”

Silas returned his gaze to Rose. “This is going to sound crazy, but stop drinking milk, and eating anything made with milk. I’m fairly sure that’s what’s making Matthew’s stomach so upset.”

“Milk?” Uncle Frank sounded surprised. “But that’s what babies need to be healthy. We’ve been making sure all of our mothers get extra to pass on to the babies.”

Rose couldn’t help but sigh. She wasn’t fond of milk, but at every meal, someone was pressing an extra glass of milk into her hand, telling her it was good for the baby.

“It’s good for most babies, but some babies can’t tolerate it. Milly was fussy as a baby, and I remembered my mother talking about how when I was a baby, someone told her to stop drinking milk, and it would make me less fussy. It worked for me, so I asked Annie to give it a try. Milly stopped being so fussy.”

Then he let out a long sigh. “One more battle with the Garretts, I’m afraid. I don’t give Milly milk, even now. The Garretts make her drink a big glass every day. She’s done a lot better now that she’s away from them.”

Rose looked down at Matthew, who’d fallen asleep in Silas’s lap. He seemed content, and Silas still rubbed his stomach. Rose memorized the motion. If nothing else, she could try it on him herself.

“I don’t know if you remember,” Silas continued, “but I don’t drink milk. I never acquired the taste for it. That’s why my mother always kept goats. We’d drink their milk, eat their butter and cheese, and it never bothered me the way cow’s milk did. People always thought we didn’t have cows because we couldn’t afford them, but the truth was, goat milk always suited us better.”

Actually, she did remember. Aunt Ina had invited Silas over to supper one night, and she’d poured everyone the half a glass of milk she allotted them once a week, and Silas had surreptitiously given it to Rose. At the time, Rose had thought he was being generous in letting Rose have the extra, but now she understood.

“When you gave me your milk, it was so you didn’t have to drink it.”

Silas shrugged. “Partially. But Ina was so stingy with her portions of everything. I knew how hungry you were. I’d seen you slip a piece of meat to your brother, Daniel, and your roll to your sister, Bess. It didn’t seem fair that you always went without.”

“Well, we have plenty now.” Rose gave half a smile. “But I thank you for noticing when no one else seemed to care.”

That’s what she’d loved about Silas. He’d cared for her once. When they’d meet for their secret picnics, he’d always brought a basket of food, inviting Rose to eat all she wanted. When the girls at church had taunted her about her worn ribbons, Silas would have a new one for her. He’d brought them eggs, telling Aunt Ina that one of his mother’s customers didn’t need any this week, and he didn’t want them to go to waste.

If it weren’t for Silas’s generosity, and that of a few others, Rose was certain they’d have all wasted away from her aunt’s stinginess.

“I meant what I said about watching Milly for you,” Rose said quietly. “I’ve been so focused on my heartbreak that I’d forgotten about our friendship. Joseph is right. You and your family were good to our family when so many people ignored our plight. It would be wrong of me to turn my back when you need our help.”

Comprehension flittered across Silas’s face, and Rose’s shoulders felt lighter, like some of the load she’d been carrying had been taken off. She’d never admitted to her heartbreak. Never told Silas that he’d hurt her. Only attacked him. But in acknowledging the feelings that had trapped her for so long, Rose finally felt like she could breathe in his presence without it hurting so much.

They were different people now, leading different lives. But if Rose kept focusing on how much he’d hurt her, the pain would never leave. She took a deep breath. Focusing on the good things, and the reason she should help him—that would be the key to moving on. The key to finally forgiving Silas once and for all.

Chapter Three

They’d found a comfortable rhythm over the past few weeks. Uncle Frank had insisted that Silas and Milly stay with them. A boardinghouse was no place for a small child who needed to run and play. With Joseph and Annabelle’s house next door and Mary living with her husband, Will, nearby, the Lassiter house had plenty of room for Silas and his daughter.

The perfect arrangement, except that as much as Rose tried to feel more positive toward Silas, the ever-present ache in her stomach when he was around never seemed to dissipate.

Even knowing he’d been right about the milk didn’t seem to ease the trouble in her heart. Rose tucked the blanket around her sleeping son, grateful that she’d gotten Matthew and Milly to take naps at the same time in the afternoon. She’d have two hours all to herself.

In the beginning, she’d used nap time to catch up on her sleep. But now that Matthew was sleeping through the night, Rose wasn’t as weary.

As she closed the door behind her, she saw Silas coming up the stairs.

“What are you doing home so early?”

Silas gave an easy smile, the kind that had once left her breathless. Now it gave her a different feeling, an old ache like what Maddie often described as her joints acting up when the weather moved in. It wasn’t that she still had feelings for him, Rose told herself. They were different people now.

Silas answered, “Your brother asked me to visit some of the smelting operations in town. He’s not sure we’re getting the best deal we could be, so he wanted me to look into it. I thought I’d come here for some lunch and to say hello to Milly.”

She hadn’t remembered Silas to be much of a man of business. In truth, she hadn’t known all that much about him, other than he helped run his father’s farm. The more Rose examined her heart and her romantic follies, she realized how she’d always rushed headlong into what she’d thought was the perfect relationship, without giving the situation much thought at all.

That was the most acute pain she felt when he gave her those beguiling smiles. How great a fool she’d been.

“I didn’t realize you were such a businessman,” Rose said, giving him a smile to cover up the tumultuous thoughts in her head.

“My mother used to say that if it hadn’t been for my negotiating skills, Pa probably would have lost the farm a lot sooner.” He gave a wry grin. “Guess it didn’t matter so much in the end.”

“I’m sure it gave him great comfort to have still had some claim to the farm until his death.”

Silas nodded slowly. “That’s what Ma said. I shouldn’t be too hard on myself for how things turned out.”

Rose’s heart softened as she remembered Mrs. Jones. “How is she? I can’t believe I haven’t asked after her until now.”

“She’s well. Moved in with her sister, Bertha, after Pa died. I know she’d help me if she could, but they’re barely getting by as it is. I wouldn’t want to make things harder on them than they already are.”

A frown furrowed his brow, then disappeared. “I’ve sent them some money to cover what I borrowed to get here, but I hope to send more to help them out once I get things settled with the Garretts. The lawyer Frank recommended is good, but he doesn’t come cheap.”

It was on the tip of Rose’s tongue to offer to help, but she knew it would only offend Silas’s pride. He was already upset with her because she’d bought a few new dresses for Milly. She’d been unable to resist when she’d seen them displayed at the dressmaker’s. Clothes for baby boys simply weren’t as adorable as they were for little girls. It had been a pleasure shopping for Milly. Not so much when she’d had to face Silas’s anger as a result.

Instead, Rose brought the conversation to the case. “Any progress with the Garretts?”

Silas shook his head. “We haven’t approached them yet. My lawyer is waiting to put a few things together first. He’d like to have everything in order so they have no ground to stand on.”

“But surely they don’t? You’re Milly’s father. You have a good job, a good place to live...”

“I’d like to think so. But with the money and influence the Garretts have back in Ohio, we want to be sure.”

A commotion downstairs drew Rose’s attention. “Would you mind coming down with me to see what’s happening? There usually isn’t any trouble, but with Uncle Frank off visiting parishioners and everyone else off at work, I don’t want Maddie to have to handle things on her own.”

“Of course.” Silas had already turned toward the stairs before the words finished leaving his mouth.

In the entryway stood an older couple whose faces Rose immediately recognized. The Garretts. She paused, her feet stuck to the last stair like it was coated in thick, deep mud.

Maddie, who had let them in, gave Rose a nod, then glanced in the direction of the back door. The family’s signal that she was going for help. And with the way the Garretts were lit up, they were going to need all the help they could get.

“I demand to see my granddaughter,” Mrs. Garrett said, her nasal voice echoing in the foyer.

“She’s sleeping,” Silas said, looking back in Rose’s direction.

Rose nodded and stepped forward as Maddie slipped out the back. “Yes. I’ve just laid her down. She won’t be awake for at least an hour.”

“What does that doxy have to do with my granddaughter?” Mrs. Garrett’s icy expression told Rose that she knew of Rose’s circumstance. Usually, it didn’t bother her when people looked down on her for her sin. She knew what she’d done, knew it was wrong and knew that God had forgiven her.

But Mrs. Garrett’s censure brought her back to the shameful place where she once could barely hold her head up in church.

“Rose is my nanny,” Silas said, his tone equally cool. “And she’s doing an excellent job.”

“Is that so?” Mrs. Garrett’s hard glare shot Rose straight through the heart. “A woman of her morals—”

“Will be an excellent influence on my daughter. Rose spends a good deal of time volunteering for the church’s many charitable endeavors, and it warms my heart to see her teaching the children from an early age to care for others who are less fortunate.”

Silas’s defense of her made Rose’s heart do a funny flip-flop. Not in the way his smiles used to, but something deeper. Something that said he saw her for who she was. While her charitable works were no secret, she also didn’t shout them from the rooftops. As much as she had grown and changed as a result of her pregnancy and having Matthew, Rose had never felt compelled to announce those changes to the world. Rather, she’d hoped people would see how differently she lived her life.

“That may be the excuse you give everyone else, but we know differently. That Jezebel was chasing after you in Ohio, trying to steal you away from our Annie when you’d already been promised to her. Had we not switched churches, I’m sure she’d have tempted you to forsake your marriage vows. And now, here she is, living in a den of sin, and you’re right in the middle of it. If you think we’re going to let our beloved granddaughter be raised in such a place...”

As Mrs. Garrett paused to take a breath, Uncle Frank came in through the back.

Breathing hard, Uncle Frank held out a hand. “Welcome to the parsonage, Mr. and Mrs. Garrett. I wish you’d have let us know you were coming. We would have had someone meet you at the station.” Uncle Frank gave a bright smile, but his eyes were dark, angry. “At the very least, we would have had tea ready for you. Fortunately, Silas and Rose kept you entertained so that Maddie could fetch me, and now she’s preparing a tray for us all. Please, won’t you join us in the parlor?”

He gestured toward the parlor, and Mr. and Mrs. Garrett exchanged glances.

“This is the parsonage?” Mr. Garrett looked around.

“Why yes,” Uncle Frank said, smiling as he saw the confusion written all over their faces. The Lassiter house was much larger than the average home in Leadville, and though it was nothing grand in comparison to Ohio standards, many people questioned how a preacher could live in such a fine place. “I suppose it’s a misnomer since the church doesn’t pay for it. My father left me a goodly inheritance, and I’ve never drawn a salary or asked the church to pay for anything. More money for the church, you know.”

He gave an indulgent smile as he sat in his favorite chair. “Do sit down and tell us about your trip. I imagine you must be eager to see Milly, but we wouldn’t want to disturb her nap.”

The Garretts looked as baffled as Rose felt. Silas said he was waiting to contact them, yet here they were. Though Uncle Frank gave a few subtle signs of not being pleased they were here, he acted like this was a social call instead of an attempt to take Milly from her father.

“We heard Rose had run away to a den of sin,” Mr. Garrett said, looking around.

Rose’s stomach churned. She should have known that word of her troubles had gone back to Ohio, but why would they think she was still mired in that lifestyle? Why hadn’t word of her repentance also gotten back?

She sighed. Most folks just wanted to see the wrong in a situation, not the good. Not the redemption.

“Rose is a vital part of our ministry at Leadville Community Church,” Uncle Frank said smoothly. “I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it.”

His defense of her only served to put sour expressions on the Garretts’ faces. “We’re only concerned for Millicent’s well-being.”

“Milly is just fine,” Silas said, emphasizing Milly’s name. From the twitch in his jaw, Rose could tell this was a fight they’d had before.

Maddie entered the room with a tea tray, busying herself with serving everyone, but Rose caught the watchful way she regarded the Garretts.

“You can hardly blame us, worrying the way we do,” Mrs. Garrett said firmly. “You ran away in the middle of the night, sneaking off with our only grandchild with no word of where you were taking her. A man with no means, and no experience raising children. If it hadn’t been for our investigator, we’d have no idea where to find her.”

Mr. Garrett pulled a paper out of his pocket. “This here’s from our lawyer. You’ll find the terms quite generous. We just want Millicent safely home.”

Rose watched as Silas read the paper. His face turned red as he examined its contents briefly before tossing it back at the Garretts.

“You want me to sell my daughter?”

Mr. Garrett smoothed the paper. “I wouldn’t call it, selling, precisely. Merely financial consideration for your trouble. As you know, we can give Millicent the best of everything, and we want you to have a token of our gratitude for allowing us the opportunity to give her the life she deserves.”

The skin on Rose’s arms prickled, and she rubbed them, despite the room being quite warm. Even the cup of tea Maddie pressed into her hand before leaving the room did nothing to stave off the chill. She’d known the Garretts to be self-serving, but this seemed to be going too far.

“Milly deserves a life with her father,” Silas said, standing. “I won’t allow you to take her from me.”

* * *

Silas couldn’t believe the gall of the Garretts to offer money for Milly, as though she were a prized horse. But that’s exactly what she was to them. Hadn’t they done the same with Annie? Dangling her and the farm out for the highest bidder? Had it not been for the clear stream that flowed on the Jones farm, Silas wouldn’t have been considered for the prize of their daughter.

What would Milly’s life be like, paraded around in frilly dresses, expected to act in accordance with their wishes? They might be selling the farm, but what price would they eventually put on Milly’s hand?

Silas’s stomach churned.

“Now, Silas,” Mrs. Garrett said in the sickeningly sweet tone that he’d always hated. “Do you think you’re giving Millicent any kind of life, with you working in a dirty mine all day, exhausting yourself? You’re not really raising her, now, are you?”

Then she glared at Rose. “And I will not have my granddaughter cared for by a doxy.”

“That’s enough,” Silas said, clenching his fists as he raised his voice to the older woman. If she’d been a man, he’d have punched her. “You have no right talking about Rose that way. You don’t even know her. She does an excellent job watching Milly, and I won’t hear you slander her character that way.”

“She did have a child out of wedlock, did she not?” Mrs. Garrett said in such a condescending tone that Silas felt the blood rushing to his hands. Violence never solved anything, but it was tempting.

“Yes, she did,” Frank answered, using the same calm tone he’d used during the entire time the Garretts had been there. “And while it’s easy for us all to cast stones at such a blatant sin, not one of us is so pure that we can. Rose has done an exemplary job of turning her life around, and I am sure we can all learn from her example.”

Silas saw the shame flash across Rose’s face until it settled on her cheeks as a faint pink. Her lips moved slightly as she briefly closed her eyes. She was praying. The Rose he’d known had gone to church, of course. They all went to church. But this Rose seemed to be deeply aware of her connection to God, and as the others discussed her behavior as though she wasn’t in the room, she took the discussion where it belonged—in prayer. Silas himself hadn’t even developed a close relationship with God until recently. Until circumstances, and needing to be a better man for his daughter’s sake, had made it clear that living his life without the Lord was no way to live at all. Perhaps becoming parents had changed them both.

The Garretts, however, didn’t have the same reaction. Mrs. Garrett pursed her lips in the disapproving way Silas had come to dread, and Mr. Garrett patted her hands.

“That may be so, Preacher,” Mr. Garrett said, “but why should our dear, sweet Millicent have to suffer for Rose’s sin? We are prepared to give Millicent a good home, where those living under our roof have never strayed from our good Christian values. Silas means well, but he can’t give Millicent the life she deserves.”

“How, exactly, does Milly suffer because of Rose’s sin?” The question was out of Silas’s mouth before he thought about it. Before he could consider that he’d be opening up Rose to more criticism.

Mrs. Garrett snorted. “I would think that’s obvious. I can’t see any of the respectable families receiving Millicent when she’s older because of Rose’s influence. And how will she make a proper match guided by someone who clearly put the cart before the horse?”

“Milly is two,” Silas said quietly. “She needs to be thinking about being a child, not finding a husband. And as for being received by the respectable families, kindly remember that the Stones are one of the most respected families in Leadville, aligned with the Jacksons of the Jackson banking empire, of which I’m sure you’ve heard.”

The Jackson name was prominently displayed on many buildings in town, their bank being the primary source of funding for many of Leadville’s business endeavors. They were also at the very top of Leadville society, patrons of most major charities, and though the Garretts had likely only been in town a short while, they would recognize the name.

“It’s true,” Frank said, nodding. “I don’t hold much for ranking people according to their importance in society, but I’ve always been appreciative of how well-received our Rose is. Naturally, Milly accompanies Rose when she goes visiting. I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that Milly gets along very well with all the other children.”

The Garretts did not look pleased. Rather, they looked like someone had just told them the tea they’d been drinking had been laced with arsenic.

“Indeed,” Rose said, smiling. “And since you are so concerned with her spiritual welfare, let me assure you that she is learning to say her prayers, and I spend time every day reading Bible stories to her.”

Frank nodded. “We also have family Bible time every night. But do tell me, what does your spiritual practice look like? I always like to hear ways we can deepen our relationship with the Lord.”

The ashen color on both Garretts’ faces brought a smile to Silas’s face. He shouldn’t gloat, but having lived in that household, he knew that their spiritual practice was limited to church on Sunday and prayers at the evening meal. And they usually gave Milly her evening meal in the nursery, not with the family. In essence, they’d just countered the arguments the Garretts had made against Milly remaining where she was.

Truth be told, having the disparity in their spiritual lives pointed out made it more important than ever for Silas to raise Milly. The Garretts were very good about making sure everyone knew how charitable they were, but the miserly way they counted every penny they gave, unwilling to give beyond what they thought was their obligation, stood out in stark contrast to his time in a household that cheerfully gave everything they could.

Mr. Garrett coughed. “I suppose what you’re doing is sufficient. But that doesn’t change the fact that Silas is hardly qualified to raise a child. How can he be, when he’s not even there?”

Feeling stronger, braver, Silas gave him a hard look. “Does that mean you’ve dismissed the nanny you hired to care for Milly?”

Mrs. Garrett shrank back as she glanced at her husband. If it was wrong for Silas to have a nanny, then shouldn’t it be equally wrong for them?

“She is not just a nanny,” Mr. Garrett said. “She is teaching Millicent proper etiquette and deportment, and as Millicent gets older, will also give her her regular school lessons. Miss Bertrand is also helping Millicent learn French. Our little darling will be quite the accomplished young lady.”

Mrs. Garrett’s eyes gleamed. “And what accomplishments will Rose teach her? Nothing we want her to learn, I’m sure.”

Rose stiffened, then adjusted her posture as she regarded the Garretts with such a regal expression that Silas almost felt sorry for them.

“I understand that you’re grieving your daughter, and Milly is your only remaining connection to her. And so I forgive you for your grievous insults against my character when you know nothing of it. You are correct in that I cannot teach her French. However, there are a good many things she can learn from me. For example, when Milly first came to us, she did not know how to share with the other children. Now she cooperates well with others, and mothers such as Emma Jane Jackson are delighted to have Milly over to play. That is an accomplishment anyone would be proud to have.”

Silas noted the way Rose emphasized the Jackson name. Though Emma Jane wouldn’t have minded, he could see the way it pained Rose to have to use her friend as a connection to prove her worth. Especially because Mrs. Garrett’s eyes widened at the mention.

“Yes, grief is a terrible thing,” Frank said slowly. “And I can see how it must be hard to have lost your only child. I, too, know the pain of losing one’s children. Fortunately, while my wife and four children went to be with the Lord, I have one remaining daughter, Annabelle, and her little girl, Catherine, brings me more joy than I could have imagined. It must have been terrible to think you were losing little Milly, too.”

Silas stared at him. Just whose side was he on? Rose caught Silas’s eye and gave a subtle shake of her head. She seemed to be telling him to trust Frank.

“Which is why I’m sure Silas will agree with me when I tell you that you are welcome to visit Milly anytime. In fact, we would be delighted to have you come for supper tonight. You can see for yourself how Milly has progressed, and then, afterward, you could spend some time playing with her here in the parlor.”

At Frank’s friendly smile, Silas understood. He was offering them time with Milly, offering them a chance to have a relationship with her, but in a way that still left Silas in control.

“Surely she’s in bed by then.” Mrs. Garrett’s horrified expression matched her tone of voice.

Frank gave her another pleasant smile. “Of course not. The evenings are valuable family time, and we consider Milly part of the family.”

The Garretts exchanged glances that said they were none too pleased with the arrangement, but they had no room to complain. Though they weren’t leaving with what they came for—Milly—Frank had offered them the chance to spend time with their granddaughter. Silas had to admit the older man was far more reasonable than he would have been.

“What time is supper?” Mr. Garrett asked, his face pinched in an unpleasant expression.

“We eat at six,” Frank said, standing. “I’m sure you have other business to attend to, so we’ll look forward to seeing you then.”

The dismissal was as polite as a dismissal could be, and a weight seemed to fall off the entire room. Even the Garretts appeared to be relieved at having a reason to go without having to continue with small talk that was unlikely to be polite.

“Thank you,” Mr. Garrett said, giving a curt nod as he led his wife out of the room.

As the door closed behind the Garretts, everyone seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief.

Maddie reentered the parlor, wiping her hands on her apron. “I thought those guttersnipes would never leave.” Then she looked at Frank, disgust evident on her face. “I suppose you’ve probably invited them for supper.”

His smile was the only answer she needed as she groaned and went back into the kitchen, muttering about the indignities of her work.

Then Frank turned to Rose. “I apologize if my invitation will force you to suffer further insult, but I think it best we at least put on the appearance of cooperation. We don’t want Silas to be accused of not allowing them to see Milly. As long as we appear to be perfectly reasonable in our efforts, they’ll have a hard time convincing a judge that Milly should live with them.”

She nodded slowly. “It’s all right. I’ve heard far worse.” Then she turned to Silas, her forehead knotted with concern. “Do you think they’d go that far?”

He wished he could take away the lines littering her forehead. “They were talking to a lawyer in Ohio about it, so I would imagine that they’d be pursuing it here if they had to. I imagine there will be quite a few things they don’t like about the situation, as if what they voiced wasn’t enough.”

The old familiar heaviness settled on him again. “Nothing I do for Milly is going to be good enough for them. Though they were pleased by our marriage, even when Annie was alive, they were constantly critical. Annie always meekly agreed. They expected me to, and it irked them that I never did.”

Frank patted him on the shoulder. “We know differently. Milly couldn’t have asked for a better father than you.”

High praise from a man who seemed to be everything Silas hoped to be in a father.

“It’s true,” Rose said softly. “You’re quite wonderful with her. I don’t know of any father so involved in raising his children as you.”

Then she gave a small chuckle. “Well, except Joseph, Will, Jasper, Mitch and Uncle Frank, of course. But they’re family, so I suppose I’m biased.”

Sobering, she regarded him with a serious expression that seemed so much less like the Rose he knew, and like a completely different person. “I know it hurts your pride, but if it would smooth things over with the Garretts, I would be happy to help you pay for an actual nanny to care for Milly. The two of you shouldn’t have to suffer for my mistake.”

A dull knife tearing at Silas’s insides wouldn’t have hurt as much as the mournful expression on Rose’s face. With the way her family and friends supported her, he hadn’t given much thought to the way those outside the circle must still treat her. Granted, he’d once thought that marriage would be a perfect solution for both of them, as a means of saving her reputation. But that was before he’d seen how well Rose got by on her own. She didn’t need him or any other man to save her.

“I stand by what I told them,” Silas said, looking her square in the eye. “Milly couldn’t have a better example of how to lead a good Christian life than you. It’s as Frank said. You made a mistake, but who doesn’t? We’re all going to mess up sometimes, so she needs to know that what you do afterward is what makes the difference.”

Rose nodded slowly like she’d heard those words before. “All the same, if it would make things easier for you to keep Milly...”

“None of that, Rose.” Frank put his arm around her. “This is just like when we had people asking me to resign as pastor because you live here. There will always be bullies pursuing their own agendas, what they think is right, but without the grace the Lord asks of us. If you give up taking care of Milly just to appease the bullies, it’ll make you that much more susceptible to the next round of bullies who want to come after you. There will always be someone wanting to take you down. Stand strong in your faith, and it will all work out.”

The doubt creeping along her face made Silas wish he could reach out and hold her, to tell her it was going to be all right. But he didn’t have that right. Even when he’d been courting her, when he’d held her and told her all the things he wanted to do for her, all the things he’d felt for her, he’d been wrong to be so free with his heart when it wasn’t his to give. It was wrong of him to ask her to entangle hers.

Now, with them both free to finally love one another, such comfort and intimacy still wasn’t right. They were different people who didn’t know each other anymore. If they’d ever known each other at all. The Rose Stone he’d fallen in love with was a bold, sassy woman whose smile lit up every room. Her flirtatious glances had made him feel every bit a man. But that was before he knew what it meant to be a man. Before he knew what it meant to honor the woman he loved.

He hadn’t honored Rose back then. If he had, he never would have messed with her heart. He would have been honest about the situation between his family and Annie’s family. He wouldn’t have stolen all those kisses that didn’t belong to him.

In truth, the biggest problem with all the things the Garretts said against Rose was that they were pointing their fingers at the wrong person. Silas had been the one to behave dishonorably toward Rose. And though Rose had never spoken of her time with the outlaw who’d fathered her child, from what Silas had heard, that man had dishonored her, as well.

Seeing how selflessly she’d been willing to give up Milly for Silas’s sake, Silas realized something he hadn’t seen in Rose before. Every time he thought he had a glimpse into her heart to see who she really was, he found a depth he hadn’t known existed. And the more he examined his own heart, he found how grossly unworthy he was of such a woman.

Though it pained him to make such an admission, the real reason he was grateful Rose hadn’t accepted his proposal was that in all the trials people saw as being her flaws, she’d come out too strong, too good, and a man like Silas simply didn’t deserve her.

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