About the Author

ANNE FRASER was born in Scotland, but brought up in South Africa. After she left school she returned to the birthplace of her parents, the remote Western Islands of Scotland. She left there to train as a nurse, before going on to university to study English Literature. After the birth of her first child she and her doctor husband travelled the world, working in rural Africa, Australia and Northern Canada. Anne still works in the health sector. To relax, she enjoys spending time with her family, reading, walking and travelling.

With a background of working in medical laboratories and a love of the romance genre, it is no surprise that SUE MACKAY writes Mills & Boon® Medical Romance™ stories. An avid reader all her life, she wrote her first story at age eight—about a prince, of course. She lives with her own hero in the beautiful Marlborough Sounds, at the top of New Zealand’s South Island, where she indulges her passions for the outdoors, the sea and cycling.

Recent titles by Anne Fraser:

HER MOTHERHOOD WISH** THE FIREBRAND WHO UNLOCKED HIS HEART MISTLETOE, MIDWIFE … MIRACLE BABY DOCTOR ON THE RED CARPET THE PLAYBOY OF HARLEY STREET THE DOCTOR AND THE DEBUTANTE DAREDEVIL, DOCTOR … DAD!† MIRACLE: MARRIAGE REUNITED SPANISH DOCTOR, PREGNANT MIDWIFE*

** The Most Precious Bundle of All † St. Piran’s Hospital * The Brides of Penhally Bay

These books are also available in eBook format from www.millsandboon.co.uk

Cinderella of Harley Street

Anne Fraser

www.millsandboon.co.uk

MILLS & BOON

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For Flora, with love and thanks.

Dear Reader

As my readers will know, I’ve written about damaged heroes and heroines who find themselves in heartbreaking and traumatic medical situations. This time I wanted to write about a heroine who has post-traumatic stress disorder and her journey to happiness—and so Cassie was created.

Cassie has had a difficult childhood. Taken away at an early age from her drug-addicted mother and adopted by a couple who don’t love her, she’s grown up striving for perfection, doubting that anyone can love her for ever.

All that got her through her lonely childhood and teenage years was a burning desire to become a children’s doctor.

When she meets Dr Leith Ballantyne, Cassie begins to dream that perhaps she can have her fairytale ending after all—until she discovers that the man she is falling in love with has a son. Not trusting that she can be a good mother to any child because of her own childhood experiences, she decides the best thing she can do for Leith and his son is walk away.

However it seems that fate has different plans for her when she finds herself working with Leith once more, and she is drawn not just to him but to his unhappy little boy.

I have indulged my love of travel in this book—the hero and heroine meet on the Mercy Ship in Africa, are reunited in London, visit Leith’s childhood home on the Isle of Skye and fall in love all over again in the Caribbean.

I hope you enjoy Leith and Cassie’s story.

Anne Fraser

CHAPTER ONE

CASSIE HEAVED HER bag along the quayside, feeling unbearably hot in the midday African sun.

She stopped to rest her aching arms and glanced upwards. The boat was enormous—far bigger than she could ever have imagined. That was good. It would mean that there would be plenty of corners for her to hide in. Naturally she’d socialise whenever it was necessary, but she needed to know that there were places, apart from her cabin, where she could be alone. It wasn’t that she didn’t like people, she simply preferred her own company.

Her attention was caught by a man standing next to the rail, talking on his phone. Just as Cassie looked up at him he turned his head and for a moment their eyes locked. Her head spun as the strangest sensations twirled around her lower abdomen.

It wasn’t as if he was particularly good-looking—God knew, she had been out with men better looking in her life—but it was the way he carried himself, the tilt of his head, the slight smile on his lips, the way his eyes creased at the corners. If she didn’t know differently, she would have sworn she was experiencing simple, pure lust.

When he tipped his head to the side and raised one eyebrow, she flushed, knowing she had been staring. Now a deeper shade of red would be added to the beetroot colour she must already be from heat and exertion. Great. In those few seconds they had held each other’s gazes, all sorts of warning bells had gone off in her head. She decided instantly that whoever he was she’d do her best to ignore him in the coming weeks.

She was halfway up the gangway when disaster struck. Her over-filled, slightly battered and definitely seen-better-days suitcase decided it had had enough of being stuffed to the gills, and it exploded, showering her path with T-shirts, dresses and, most embarrassingly, her underwear. She watched with horror as a pair of her lace and silk panties, which had cost her more money than she cared to remember, flew over the handrail, snagged on a piece of metal and fluttered there like some sort of lacy flag of surrender.

Mortified, Cassie lunged for them and almost toppled into the sea. And that was exactly what would have happened had she not found herself caught and held fast against a broad, hard chest.

For the briefest of moments she stayed there. There was something achingly secure about being held in these particular arms.

Which was ridiculous. She didn’t need a man—anyone—to make her feel safe.

Somehow she wasn’t surprised when she reluctantly extricated herself from the stranger’s arms to find that the man who had saved her from falling overboard was the same one who only moments earlier had caught her staring. So much for her promise to herself to avoid him.

‘I know it’s hot, but I wouldn’t recommend the side of the ship for a dip.’

His accent was Scottish, warm and rich with a musical cadence of laughter.

When she looked up at him—he was a good few inches taller than she was—she was horrified to discover that he had rescued her panties and was now holding the flimsy piece of silk and lace in his hands.

‘Yours, I believe?’ he said with a cheeky grin.

Could her introduction to the ship and the staff get any worse than this? Cassie thought despairingly, noticing that several people were now lining the rails of the ship taking an unabashed interest in what was going on below them. To make matters worse, a group of locals had also stopped and were chattering away to one another in loud, cheerful voices while pointing to Cassie and giggling.

‘Thank you,’ she said stiffly, grabbing her panties. Really, was there any need for him to hold them up for all to see?

She crouched down and quickly scooped up her scattered belongings, shoving them into the suitcase. Normally, when she packed, everything was perfectly arranged, each item in its place, each T-shirt, skirt, dress and pair of trousers laid on top of each other in graduating colours. Although she knew it was a little obsessional, Cassie liked order—more than liked it, needed it. But unless she wanted to have every item of her wardrobe examined in minute detail there was nothing for it but to get the damn things back in the suitcase and out of sight as quickly as possible. She would have to wait until she reached her cabin before she could sort it all.

Her helper—she refused to think of him as rescuer; it wasn’t really an appropriate term for a man who’d mostly retrieved her underwear—crouched down in the confined space of the gangway, so close she could feel the heat radiating from him. The sensation was so intense it robbed her of her breath. However, any attempt to move away would result in her going for the swim he’d joked about. Even if, right now, it was almost tempting.

‘I can manage, thank you,’ she said. ‘I’m sure there are other places you need to be.’

‘There are, but I’m pretty sure none of them are quite as entertaining.’

She glanced up at him and again there was that odd frisson running down her spine. She shoved the remaining clothes into her suitcase and almost immediately realised if she tried to close it, first, she would have to sit on it on the steep gangway and, second, even if she did get it closed there was every chance it would burst open again before she could reach her cabin.

It appeared as if the same thought had struck him. He picked up her suitcase, snapped it shut with a single easy movement and tucked it under his arm. ‘Deck and cabin number?’ he asked. ‘At least, I’m assuming you are joining the ship as staff?’

Cassie studied him for a moment. He was tall, almost six-four, she guessed, with sun-lightened brown hair and a wide, full mouth that turned up more at one side than the other. But it was his eyes, an unusual shade of green that drew her. She had the uncanny feeling he could see right into her, see all her secrets, and the sensation wasn’t a welcome one.

She became aware that he was waiting for her response with a quizzical smile on his face. ‘Dr Ross. Cassie Ross,’ she said, holding out her hand.

His smile widened. ‘Dr Leith Ballantyne. Welcome to the African Mercy Ship.’

Damn—he was one of the doctors. That would make him difficult to avoid. But, with a bit of luck, he himself would be leaving soon. Cassie had been told that although the nurses tended to stay for a minimum of three months, most of the doctors held permanent jobs elsewhere and, like her, only usually managed to give a few weeks of their time in any one year.

At the top of the gangway she reached for her suitcase. ‘I’ll take it now, if you don’t mind.’

‘No. I insist. You must be tired from travelling.’ He raised an eyebrow in question. ‘London?’

‘Yes,’ she responded tersely. Then, realising she was being rude, she added, ‘Seems days since I left England. I must have experienced every form of transport Africa has to offer over the last forty-eight hours. It’s great to finally be here.’

‘It’s an excellent ship with an excellent team.’

‘And I’m looking forward to getting stuck in this afternoon.’

‘There’ll be no work for you until tomorrow.’ Without waiting for her reply, he headed off down a narrow corridor, still holding her suitcase, and she was forced to follow him.

‘I’ll be fine once I have a shower,’ she said to his back.

He turned round. ‘Believe me, you’ll have enough to do while you’re here. How long are you staying anyway?’

‘Just over two weeks.’

‘Then take the rest while you can. You’re going to need it.’ When he gave her a lopsided smile she had the crazy sensation of not being able to breathe. She dragged her eyes away from his, hoping he would put the heat in her cheeks down to the sun.

‘Perhaps we could have dinner later and I could explain how it works around here?’ he continued.

She hadn’t been here five minutes and already he was hitting on her. Normally that wouldn’t bother her—she’d dealt with men like him plenty of times before, usually brushing them off with a light-hearted quip—but there was something about Leith that disturbed her usual composure.

‘I’d like to get to work straight away,’ she replied stiffly.

Immediately the laconic manner was gone. ‘It’s not going to happen. A tired doctor is a dangerous doctor. You are forbidden from working until you’ve had a good night’s sleep.’ Then he smiled again. ‘So, dinner? It’s not haute cuisine, I’m afraid, but it serves its purpose.’

Just who did he think he was, telling her what she could and could not do? She was about to open her mouth to say as much when he swung round and carried on walking. He opened the door to her tiny cabin and dropped her bag on the narrow bunk. There was barely room to swing a cat and she was acutely aware of him standing just a few feet from her.

‘I can take it from here,’ she said quickly. ‘If I can’t work, I think I’ll skip dinner and have an early night. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I should find the showers.’

‘They’re at the end of the corridor.’ As he stepped towards her she backed away. She didn’t want to be any closer to him than she was already. Annoyingly her pulse was still beating a tattoo in her temples. It had to be the heat.

He grinned again, amusement glinting in his deep green eyes as if he’d noticed her instant reaction to him and it hadn’t surprised him. ‘If you change your mind about dinner, I’ll be in the canteen about seven.’

When he left, Cassie closed the door of her cabin and sank down on the bed. If at all possible, she was going to avoid Dr Leith Ballantyne.

Leith was whistling as he made his way to his cabin. From the moment he’d first clapped eyes on her, he’d known that life was going to get way more interesting. He normally preferred women with long hair but Cassie’s short silky black bob suited her heart-shaped, delicate features, making her eyes appear almost too large for her face.

Up until her suitcase had spewed her belongings over the gangway she’d looked impossibly cool and sexy in her white blouse and light cotton trousers that clung to her curvy figure. And as for those eyes! The icy look she’d given him when he’d caught her staring could have destroyed a lesser man, so the way she’d blushed when he’d retrieved her underwear had been a surprise—a good one.

She intrigued the hell out of him. Cool, almost shy one minute—and in Leith’s experience women who looked like Cassie weren’t in the least bit shy—sparky and determined the next.

Pity she was only here for a couple of weeks. He would have liked to take his time getting to know Dr Cassie Ross and, if she was only here for a couple of weeks, time was one thing he didn’t have.

Cassie wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her arm and looked down at her line of patients, stretching along the dusty road and way into the distance. There wasn’t room on the Mercy Ship to see outpatients, all the space being needed for the wards and theatres.

She’d seen more kids already than she could count and there were more still to be seen—most waiting patiently with their mothers, some playing in the dust and others tucked up in shawls on their mothers’ backs.

It was the quiet ones you had to worry about most. Children who cried or played had to be fit enough to react to their environment. Those who lay limply in their mothers’ arms were almost always the most in need of urgent attention.

On her first morning, she’d been allocated her duties by the medical officer in charge and she’d had her nose to the grindstone ever since. As the only paediatrician, Cassie was responsible for all the children the nurses referred to her at the daily morning outpatient clinic. She also had charge of the small but well-equipped children’s ward and special-care facility on board and, in addition, she would assist with paediatric cases in Theatre whenever her help was required.

None of it fazed her in the slightest. She’d done a year as a surgical resident as part of her paediatric training and although didn’t want to specialise in surgery had enjoyed her time in Theatre. In fact, the more challenges, the harder the work, the better.

She stopped for a moment to drink some water. In this heat it was important to keep hydrated. Suddenly, she heard a commotion in one of the other lines. Although the patients had to wait for hours in the burning sun they rarely complained so any disturbance had to mean something was wrong. With a quick word to the nurse who was assisting her, she went to see what it was about.

When she reached the point in the line where the cries had been coming from, the patients stood back. A young woman, perhaps no more than seventeen, was lying on the ground, clutching her swollen stomach and moaning with pain. Cassie dropped to her knees. Judging by the size of her abdomen, the woman was close to giving birth. Then Cassie saw something that instantly put her on red alert. There was a pool of blood soaking the woman’s dress.

‘Get help!’ she shouted to the chattering bystanders. She instructed some of the women to form a shield and lifted the woman’s dress. Her thighs were covered in blood. This was a possible placental abruption—an obstetric emergency—and not Cassie’s area of expertise. Unless the woman had a Caesarean in the next few minutes and was transfused, she would die.

As Cassie lifted her head to shout for a stretcher, someone crouched down next to her. It was the man from the gangway—Dr Ballantyne. Apart from that first day, four days ago, she hadn’t spoken to him. She’d seen him about, of course, he wasn’t exactly the kind of man that blended into his surroundings, but, as she’d promised herself, she’d gone out of her way to avoid him. Why that was she wasn’t quite sure. Only that he unsettled her—and she didn’t like being unsettled.

‘Hello again,’ he said quietly. Without Cassie having to say anything, he took in the situation at a glance. ‘Looks like a possible placenta abruption,’ he said grimly. ‘There’s no time to take her to Theatre on board. We’ll have to get her inside and operate here.’

Cassie looked around. They could do with some help—a nurse and an anaesthetist for a start. But most of the doctors and nurses had stopped for lunch and retreated to the shady, cool dining room on the ship.

‘We need a stretcher over here,’ Leith called out. Cassie breathed a sigh of relief when two nurses emerged from the interior of one of the huts. One of the local volunteers brought a stretcher and working together they loaded the stricken woman onto it.

‘I need an anaesthetist,’ Leith said. ‘Like now.’

‘They’re all on board,’ the nurse said. ‘Do you want me to send for one of them?’

‘Yes. Go!’ As soon as the nurse had taken off, Leith looked at Cassie. ‘Even if she finds someone straight away, by the time they get here it will be too late. Have you ever given a spinal?’

Cassie nodded. She brought up a mental image of a medical textbook. Luckily she had an almost encyclopaedic memory, one of the few benefits of a childhood spent mostly with books.

Although she’d been warned that working on the Mercy Ship might mean stepping out of her own area of expertise, she hadn’t expected to be assisting with a case of placental abruption quite so soon after her arrival. She was glad that Leith was there and appeared to be taking it all in his stride.

As he prepped the patient’s abdomen, Cassie loaded a syringe with local anaesthetic. Then they turned the woman on her side and Leith held her firmly while Cassie cupped the expectant mother’s hips, feeling for the bones of the pelvis. Bringing her thumbs towards the middle line and on either side of the spine, she found the space between the L3 and L4 vertebrae. She moved up to the next space. It was important to take her time. If she gave it in the wrong place, the woman could be paralysed, but in the end the spinal went every bit as smoothly as she’d anticipated.

While they waited for the anaesthetic to take effect Leith took blood for cross-matching and gave the sample to the nurse to take to the ship’s laboratory. Waiting for the results would take time—when every minute could mean the difference between life and survival.

In the meantime, the midwife had returned, bringing some bags of saline back with her, and Leith immediately set about putting up a drip.

‘They are preparing a theatre for you,’ the midwife said.

‘It’s too late,’ Leith replied. Cassie ignored the flutter of anxiety in her abdomen and made sure to keep her expression noncommittal. Another skill she had mastered in her childhood.

As soon as she was satisfied that the woman couldn’t feel anything below her waist, she nodded to Leith, who started to operate. With Cassie keeping an eye on the woman’s breathing, he sliced into the abdomen and a few minutes later pulled out a small, perfectly formed baby, who was, however, disturbingly limp and still. Cassie stepped forward and as soon as she had checked that there were no secretions blocking the airway of the baby girl, she immediately began to breathe into the newborn’s mouth. Go on, little one. Breathe for me. If not for me, for your mummy. Come on, you can do it.

To her relief, after a few breaths the child gave a gasp and a cry. When she glanced at Leith he grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. She smiled back at him. They’d saved this baby.

They weren’t out of the woods yet. The neonate needed to be taken on board the Mercy Ship and straight to the special-care nursery.

Thankfully, just at that moment another two nurses, pushing a portable incubator, rushed into the room. Now the baby would get the mechanical support she required and once she got to the ship she would have the all help the singing and dancing tiny special-care unit could give her. As the midwives transferred the baby to the incubator, Cassie glanced back at the baby’s mother and was alarmed to see that blood had pooled in her abdomen.

‘Damn. I’m going to have to do a hysterectomy,’ Leith said. ‘But she’ll need to be fully anaesthetised first. That isn’t something I can do here. We need to get her to Theatre.’

As Leith started to pack the pelvis with swabs, one of the other doctors hurried into the room. Knowing that she would only get in the way if she stayed, Cassie left the mother in their hands and accompanied the baby and incubator back on board.

Once the baby was settled, Cassie handed over her care to the neonatal nurse. Although the baby was slightly smaller than Cassie would have liked, she was breathing well on her own. As soon as the mother had recovered from her anaesthetic, a nurse would bring baby to her to have a feed.

By now it was after one and Cassie had to return to her clinic to see the patients still waiting, and after she’d finished there she was due in Theatre to assist with an operation. Knowing it was unlikely that she would have time for a sit-down lunch, she grabbed a sandwich from the hospital canteen before making her way on deck for a five-minute break.

She closed her eyes and let the sea breeze cool her cheeks. Immediately an image of Leith filled her head. Whenever she’d seen him on the ship, he’d been playing cards or teasing the nurses, as if medicine was the last thing on his mind. Occasionally, he’d glance her way, but she avoided his eyes and always found a seat as far away from him as possible.

Which one was the real Leith? The flirtatious, I-know-I’m-sexy-doctor of their first meeting or the one who’d been so focussed on his patient he’d barely noticed her? She shook her head. Why was she even thinking like this? She wasn’t beyond having an affair, especially with someone she was unlikely to ever see again, but not with a co-worker. That, she knew, could get uncomfortable when it came to the parting of ways, which it inevitably did, as soon as they tried to turn the relationship into something it wasn’t.

She took a last bite from her sandwich and chucked the remains into the bin.

No, she decided, it was better to trust her first instinct and keep well away from Dr Leith Ballantyne.

Just over five hours later Cassie was still in Theatre. The surgeon she was assisting was operating on a patient Cassie had examined at her first clinic and put forward for surgery. The teen had the biggest tumour Cassie had ever seen. Untreated, it had swollen to the size of a football, pushing the boy’s features out of alignment so that his nose and mouth were grotesquely out of place. It wasn’t that the benign tumour was life-threatening, but his unusual appearance had meant that he was ostracised in his village. Her heart went out to him. She knew what it felt like to feel as if you didn’t fit in, and it had to be a hundred times worse for him.

Cassie stretched to ease the kinks from her back. The operation had been fascinating. The surgeon—Dr Blunt, who had worked on the Mercy Ship for the five years since she’d retired from a hospital in Boston, had told Cassie that she’d had more experience of dealing with this kind of tumour than she liked. However, she’d removed the growth with the minimum of bleeding and damage to healthy tissue.

There had been a scary moment when one of the blood vessels had started bleeding but Cassie had kept calm and managed to clamp it off without too much difficulty.

They stood back for a moment and surveyed their work. Even with the swelling, the boy looked much more normal. He’d never be a pin-up, but he wouldn’t look out of place.

‘Good job, Dr Ross,’ Dr Blunt said. Although the operation had been a success, Cassie couldn’t help but wonder if they could have made a better job of putting the boy’s face back together. That was the problem. She was never satisfied. Only perfection would suffice.

She let the theatre nurse remove her gown and dropped her gloves into the bin. The thought of still having to pound the decks for her nightly run made her feel even more exhausted, but the habit was ingrained and she knew she would sleep better for it afterwards. First, though, she needed a few minutes to unwind.

She stepped out on the deck of the ship and drew in deep lungfuls of fresh air. Although the sun had dipped below the horizon, the air was still muggy and almost immediately she felt perspiration trickle down her back under her scrubs. She would wait until it was cooler to have her run and besides she wanted to check on her patient when he’d recovered from the anaesthetic.

A spurt of laughter came from below her. The staff not in Theatre or on the wards had gathered for dinner and were no doubt sharing their stories of the day. Cassie moved away, seeking the quieter starboard side—the one that faced the sea. There was a spot there behind the lifeboats where she often went when she wanted to be alone—no easy feat when there were four hundred staff on board.

To her dismay, someone had got there before her. A tall figure was leaning against one of the struts, staring out over the ocean. She was about to tiptoe away when he turned. She recognised him immediately.

He smiled at her. ‘Dr Ross.’ She had to admit she liked his voice with its attractive Scottish burr. ‘I didn’t get the chance to thank you for your help earlier today.’

‘I didn’t do much.’ Cassie shrugged. ‘How is your patient?’

‘I had to do a complete hysterectomy. She won’t be having any more children.’

‘Perhaps that’s for the best.’ The area was so drought-stricken that despite everything the Mercy Ship and aid workers were doing, too many children were dying from starvation and, with clean water still a scarce resource, disease.

Leith looked at her in surprise. ‘I doubt she’ll see it that way.’

‘At least she has a living child. I saw the baby earlier and she’s going to be fine. Surely it is better for a mother to have one healthy child than several sick children?’

‘I don’t think we can apply our Western standards here, at least not without understanding more about the culture.’

Feeling as if she was being lectured, Cassie bristled. But before she could respond he went on.

‘I watched you while you were assisting in Theatre earlier. You have deft hands.’

She hadn’t noticed him among the observers in the gallery.

‘Thank you—er—Dr Ballantyne. ‘

Amusement glinted in his jade-green eyes. ‘How very formal. Call me Leith.’

‘Very well. Thank you, Leith.’ God, she sounded as if she was an awkward teen being introduced to her first boy. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I have to go and check on my patient.’ She didn’t really want to get into a conversation. Quite the opposite. For some reason she wanted to run away from this man as fast as she could.

He looked into her eyes for a second longer than was strictly professional before giving her a grin that sent her heart spinning.

Most days, as soon as she’d finished her early morning ward rounds, Cassie would make her way on shore and over to the school. Since their brief encounter on deck, Cassie found herself searching more often than she cared to admit for glimpses of Leith, but although they’d exchanged nods and smiles of greeting, to her relief—at least she told herself it was relief—he hadn’t sought her out.

As often happened, the sun was beginning to set by the time the last patient had been seen. Cassie was taking a few moments to admire the reddening sky when she sensed, rather than saw, Leith come to stand next to her. To her dismay, her heart rate went into overdrive.

‘Finished for the day?’ he asked with a smile. His white, short-sleeved cotton shirt emphasised the dark hairs on his chest and his muscular forearms. Why on earth was she even noticing?

‘Yes. Apart from ward rounds before bed.’ Cassie turned her face upwards, enjoying the feel of the early evening breeze on her overheated skin. ‘What about you?’

He rubbed his stubbly chin. ‘Me too.’ They stood together in silence as the sun flared, turning the soil pink.

‘Such a beautiful country,’ Cassie said softly, ‘despite its problems.’

When he looked at her, her pulse upped yet another notch. His eyes were the colour of summer grass, she thought distractedly. She gave herself a mental shake and glanced away. What was wrong with her, for heaven’s sake? Never before had she felt such instant attraction and it scared her.

Just then she noticed that a woman from the village was standing a couple of feet away, waiting patiently.

‘Doctor—come with me. Please?’ she said.

‘What is it?’ Leith asked. ‘Is someone in trouble?’

The woman glanced around anxiously. ‘Please. Just come. You both.’

Leith raised an eyebrow at Cassie. ‘Are you up for it?’

It was as if every nerve in her body was screeching at her to run—to keep her distance from this man. Which was ridiculous. Someone needed their help and of course she wouldn’t—couldn’t—say no.

When she nodded the woman smiled with relief. ‘My name is Precious,’ she said. ‘It is my sister, Maria, I want you to see.’

They followed Precious in the failing light along a narrow track. The cicadas had started chirping and the sounds of Africa permeated the night air. As the path entered a small stretch of trees the sun disappeared completely. Soon it was too dark to see properly, although the woman leading the way appeared to have no difficulty. Cassie stumbled over the root of a tree and Leith caught her hand. A spark shot up her arm and she had to resist the urge to pull away.

Still holding her hand and close on the heels of Precious, he guided Cassie along the path, pointing out intruding thorns from acacia trees and other obstacles for her to avoid.

A short while later they came to a cluster of huts. The villagers, lit only by the glow of the evening meal fires, were making preparations for the night.

But instead of stopping at one of the huts, the woman led them through the village and back into the darkness. Cassie had a moment’s doubt. This was a poor country and it was possible that the woman was leading them into a trap. But they couldn’t turn away now.

The thought clearly hadn’t crossed Leith’s mind as his footsteps never faltered. About two kilometres further on, with the village left far behind them, the woman stopped. At first Cassie could see nothing but then, as the woman pointed, she could make out a small hut in the shadows. This was unexpected. The villagers lived in close proximity to one another. Who could be living so far away from the comfort and help of others?

Precious led them inside. A young woman was crouched over a small fire, mixing a pot of mielie meal with a stick while a small child, no more than two, sat on the bed, watching her.

‘This is Maria,’ Precious said, before turning back to the woman and speaking rapidly in the vernacular.

Cassie couldn’t understand a word but it sounded reassuring. When Precious had finished talking, the mother looked at them with a mixture of hope and despair.

‘Maria has been sent away from the village.’ Precious said.

‘Why?’ Cassie asked.

When Precious hesitated, Leith’s brow knotted. ‘I suspect I know the reason.’ He turned to their guide. ‘Has Maria been wetting herself?

‘Will she allow me to examine her?’ Leith asked.

Precious translated and, blushing deeply, Maria lay down on top of the bed after lifting the child and placing him on a rush mat. He stared silently with big, brown eyes.

‘I will go and fetch some water,’ Precious said, and slipped outside.

In the silence the little boy continued to watch them. Then he slid off the mat and toddled over to Cassie, lifting his hands. Instinctively Cassie reached down and picked him up. The child snuggled into her, peeping out at his mother.

‘Seems he’s taken a liking to you,’ Leith said with a smile.

‘Children seem to like me—which is an advantage given my line of work,’ she responded lightly. Without warning an image flashed into her head. She couldn’t have been very much older than this child—perhaps three or four. She’d fallen over and scraped her knee and had gone crying to her mother and held up her hands, wanting to be lifted, to have her hurt made better.

To her bewilderment her mother had turned away, saying it was only a scrape and not to make a fuss. But before she’d turned away, Cassie had seen something in her eyes that had made her forget about the pain in her knee and feel pain in her chest instead. Later she’d come to realise it had been dislike she’d seen.

When the time had come to choose which medical speciality to pursue, she’d been drawn to paediatrics. Perhaps because she wanted to rescue all the little Cassies out there. But she would never risk becoming a mother herself—experience had taught her that too often the worst parents were those who had been badly, or inadequately, parented themselves. Nevertheless, just because she wasn’t going to have children herself, it didn’t mean she didn’t love having them as her patients.

‘Cassie? You okay?’ Leith’s voice pulled her back to the present. She forced a smile and tightened her hold on the little boy in her arms. ‘Sure. A little hot—that’s all.’

Looking puzzled, Leith continued to hold her gaze, but when she returned his stare steadily he gave his head a little shake and focussed his attention back on Maria.

Leith examined the woman discreetly and gently, before straightening. ‘As I thought, she has a fistula from her bowel into her vagina, which has led to her being incontinent. I’ve treated a few women with this condition since I’ve been here. They tend to be ostracised by their fellow villagers and rarely come for help, although I suspect that finally word is getting around that we can often do something for them.’

‘Poor thing,’ Cassie said. ‘And can you? Help her?’

He smiled. ‘Yes, I’m confident I can fix her problem.’ He turned to Precious. ‘She must come to the hospital ship. Tomorrow. Tell her I will have to operate, but it is a simple procedure and after she will be much better.’

Precious broke into a wide smile. ‘She will be so happy. It has been hard for her here, all alone with her child. I can only help a little—I have my own family to care for.’ She turned to her sister and spoke rapidly. With tears in her eyes, Maria reached out for Cassie’s hand and said something Cassie couldn’t understand.

‘She asks if you will be there. She says you have a kind face. Like the other doctor.’ Precious glanced at Leith and smiled shyly. ‘But she will feel better if there is another woman.’

Cassie thought rapidly. She had a full clinic in the morning and was scheduled to assist with a couple of operations before then. Then she looked at the small child and the mother and knew that, whatever it took, she would find a way to be present. How could she deny Maria this one small thing?

Precious led them back to the village but once there Leith assured her that he and Cassie would find their own way back to the ship. Cassie wasn’t so sure. The night was dark beyond the village and without so much as a torch to light their way it would be difficult to find the path. But as Precious clearly wanted to return to her sister, Cassie swallowed her anxiety and followed Leith. As he strode confidently into the bush, it seemed as if he had no problem seeing in the dark.

She kept her eyes on his broad back, pausing when he did and stepping over the roots of trees that he pointed out. They must have been almost halfway back to where the ship was docked when suddenly Leith stood stock still as if listening for something. Then he let out a yell and hit something from the back of his neck. It fell to the ground and Cassie heard the rustle of leaves as it scuttled away.

‘God! What the hell was that?’ Leith said, his face pale in the light of the moon.

‘A bird or a spider, I suspect,’ she said, trying not to laugh.

‘If it was a spider it must have been a bloody huge one.’

‘Whatever it was, it’s gone. You’re safe now. I promise I won’t let that horrible beastie get you.’

He must have heard the amusement in her voice as he looked sheepish. ‘Not very macho, was it? Jumping four feet in the air.’ He grinned, his teeth flashing whitely in the dark. ‘Spiders and I don’t go together very well.’

Cassie smiled back. ‘Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone.’ And then, just like that, she knew that whatever she’d been telling herself about staying away from this man, it was too late.

CHAPTER TWO

AS SHE PROMISED, the next day Cassie joined Leith in Theatre once her own session had finished. His patient hadn’t been put under yet so Cassie went over to her and squeezed her hand. Maria smiled tremulously.

‘It’s going to be okay,’ Cassie whispered, knowing that the woman probably couldn’t understand her but hoping she found her tone reassuring.

She stood back while Leith repaired the tear, which, judging by the image on the monitor, was significant. Happily, the Mercy Ship had many generous donors and was equipped with the best and latest high-tech equipment.

‘She must have torn during labour—I’m pretty sure it must have been a breech delivery, ‘Leith said as he worked. ‘She’s probably lucky to have survived. I’m guessing there was a great deal of bleeding.’

Cassie admired his surgical technique. He wasted no time and his stitching was neat. As he operated he explained to the nurses what he was doing. When he’d finished he looked up with a satisfied smile. ‘I don’t think she’ll have any more problems.’ He peeled off his gloves and chucked them in the bin. ‘She’ll need to stay in for a few days.’

Cassie walked with him to the door, glancing at her watch. She had thirty minutes—just enough time for a quick shower and change of scrubs before she was due at her outpatient clinic.

‘Meet me later?’ Leith asked quietly.

Cassie’s heart thumped. She already knew she wasn’t going to say no. Last night she’d tossed and turned, thinking about Leith and wondering what she would do if he sought her out. She’d managed to convince herself that it could do no harm to spend time with him. She was tired of her own company and Leith was, well, interesting to say the least. It wasn’t as if there was any danger of them having more than a short while together. Pretty soon they’d be going their separate ways.

‘Why not? Let’s meet at the harbour wall. Say, around seven-thirty?’

Leith grinned and her heart did a little somersault. Good God, it was like being a teenager again, except no one had ever made her feel like this. Not as a teenager, not as an adult, not ever. Determined to ignore the warning bells in her head, she gave him one last smile and headed to the changing rooms.

Over the next week they spent almost all their off-duty hours together and Cassie found herself constantly looking out for him as she worked. She was happy—yet terrified. In the past, whenever she had found herself getting too close to a man, she’d simply backed away before the relationship had got too serious, and every day she told herself to walk away from Leith while she could.

But her resolve melted away as soon as she saw him. Why not enjoy what they had while she could? It wasn’t as if Leith made demands on her, simply seeming to enjoy her company, although she suspected, from the way he looked at her, that he wasn’t immune either.

Was it possible that finally she’d met someone she could love and, even more importantly, who could love her in return? She groaned inwardly. What was the use in even thinking like that? She had her future all mapped out and it didn’t—couldn’t—include long-term relationships.

‘Where will you go when you’re finished here?’ Leith asked one evening as they walked along the beach.

‘I have a job with the United Nations—in their International Medical Corps.’

He whistled. ‘The United Nations! A high-flyer, then?’

She smiled up at him. ‘That’s one way of putting it.’ She had certainly worked hard enough to achieve her dreams. Always refusing to go out with her fellow medical students, although that hadn’t simply been down to work, being the first on the wards and last off as a trainee, doing anything and everything that had been asked of her. After all, she of all people knew how to please.

But she didn’t want to think about that. It was the present she cared about right now. ‘My first posting is to Sudan. I go straight there from here.’

He frowned. ‘Why Sudan?’

‘I can’t think of a more worthwhile use of my skills. I like the feeling I’m helping children in real need.’ She breathed in the scent of sea and spice that she’d come to associate with Africa. ‘And I’ve always wanted to travel,’ she added. Because no place felt like home. ‘I think it will be a real test of my skills. What about you?’

‘I worked as a consultant in Glasgow for years and spent a long time abroad—mainly Africa but other countries too. I moved to London a couple of years ago. I work in Harley Street now.’

‘Harley Street?’ Cassie said, surprised. ‘Bit of a shift from Africa to Harley Street, isn’t it?’

‘Hey, don’t mock what you don’t know. The practice I work for only employs the best—its patients won’t tolerate anything else.’ He grinned at her. ‘If you’re ever looking for a job, I know they’d like to have a top-class doctor on the team.’

Warmth spread through her at the compliment. Although she knew she was a good doctor, she wasn’t used to praise. It felt good, especially so, she had to admit, coming from Leith. But of course what he was suggesting was impossible.

‘Thanks, but, no, thanks. London in the rain? The crowds? Battling the Underground? Give me blue skies and sun any time,’ she responded, knowing it was only a version of the truth. ‘I’ve had my career all mapped out ever since I went into medicine. That’s the way I like my life. It keeps me focussed.’

‘What about the personal one?’

The look in his eyes made her bones melt and once again she found herself wondering if there could be room in her life for spontaneity. Did everything have to be planned down to the last hour? On the other hand, that was how she liked it. It was far safer.

‘My work gives me everything I need—or want.’

He raised his eyebrow. ‘Everything? You don’t intend to get married? Have children?’

She stiffened. ‘Not every woman is born to be a mother.’

‘No,’ he replied, looking surprised, ‘but I’ve seen the way you are with the children. You’re a natural.’

‘Why does everyone think that every woman should want to have a child? In my experience, some women should be positively banned from having kids. After all, no one seems to think it unnatural if a man doesn’t want to have children. What about you, for example? Are they in your future?’

‘One day perhaps.’ His eyes crinkled at the corners. ‘In a few years’ time. In the meantime, I plan to have as much fun as I can.’

Her heart sank. His reply wasn’t what she’d wanted to hear.

‘And your parents? Are they in London?’ he continued after a moment’s silence.

Suddenly chilled, despite the muggy evening, she wrapped her arms around herself. ‘Some of the time. They spend a lot of time abroad now. One way or another, I don’t see much of them. What about yours?’ She wasn’t about to tell him that a bonus of going to work in Sudan was its distance from her adoptive parents.

He studied her for a moment as if he was about to press her further but then he seemed to change his mind. ‘They live on Skye. They’ve been married for forty years and still crazily in love with each other. That’s the way I want it to be if ever I get married.’

A familiar ache in her chest made her catch her breath. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to believe love could last? They halted under an acacia tree. In the distance, small fishing boats lit by glowing lanterns bobbed about the waters of the Atlantic Ocean and the smell of jasmine hung on the heavy night air.

Leith tipped her chin so she was looking up at him. ‘God, you’re beautiful.’ The world stopped turning as he brought his mouth down on hers. For a moment she felt as if she could hardly breathe. His kiss was gentle at first, his lips warm and questioning. But as she melted into him, his kiss became deeper, more demanding, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting more of him.

She could feel his desire for her against her pelvis and an answering warmth flooded through her. She wanted him. She wanted to feel his naked skin on hers, to have his hands all over her body and hers on his. She didn’t even care that after she’d left here she would never see him again—all she needed right now was this.

When they pulled away they were both breathing deeply.

‘Come back to the ship with me,’ he said simply.

When she nodded, he took her hand.

Cassie woke to bright sunshine streaming in through the porthole. At first she didn’t know where she was, but as the fog of sleep lifted she remembered. She smiled and stretched as a warm peace filled her. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this good.

She propped herself up on her elbow and studied Leith. Even in his sleep his mouth turned up at the corners. She trailed her fingertips over the hard contours of his chest and as she did so his eyes snapped open and he caught her hand in his.

‘Morning,’ he said with a smile.

‘Morning,’ she whispered back.

He ran his hand along her shoulder and down the curve of her waist and every nerve in her body tingled. They had made love twice last night, but now she wanted him again with a need that shocked her.

She moulded the length of her body against his so that it seemed as if every inch of her skin was in contact with his.

He pulled her tighter. ‘I can’t seem to get enough of you,’ he groaned.

Or her him. They didn’t have long, but why think about the future and what couldn’t be? Why not just be happy while she could?

It was her last coherent thought before she gave herself up to him.

Leith found himself humming under his breath at the oddest moments and when he wasn’t with Cassie he was thinking about her. He constantly sought her out and loved to catch even the briefest glimpses of her, squatting on her heels in the dust, talking to a group of women, or distracting a child while carrying out some unpleasant procedure by making funny faces or dangling a colourful toy just out of reach before relinquishing it to them.

Sometimes he would find her on her own on the deck of the ship, staring out to sea with a wistful, almost sad expression on her face. But then she would catch sight of him and her face would be transformed by the smile he’d grown to love. It felt as if their coming together had been inevitable. Which was strange—very strange. He wasn’t a man who believed in fate.

However, it felt good. It felt right.

But he still knew little more about her than he’d known at the start. Normally that would be good but with Cassie he wanted to know it all. In the past he’d always kept his relationships light-hearted and stayed away from the heavy stuff, but no one had made him feel the way he had since the first moment he’d spotted her lugging her suitcase along the quay.

However, he wasn’t going to think about what might or might not be. He was going to make the most of being with Cassie while he could.

He was smiling as he opened the email he’d received that morning.

He read it through and clicked on the attachment. It was a photograph of a boy of around four with large green eyes. He stared disbelievingly at an image that could have been him as a child.

An hour later, Leith was still trying to come to terms with what he’d learned. He had a son. He was a father. It just didn’t compute. Okay, so he’d always thought that he might, one day, have children, but ‘one day’ were the two key words. One day in the future. So far in the future he couldn’t even really imagine it.

But he’d better start imagining it.

He had a child.

He wasn’t ready to be a father. Not yet. He liked his life just the way it was. No ties, no obligations. Doing what he wanted. Work, women and travel—that’s what he liked. A child would put a stop to that. He’d have to be responsible, for God’s sake. Cut down on his working hours, reduce his travel commitments, be selective about the women he dated.

He examined the picture for the umpteenth time. The child was clearly bright—anyone could see that. And he had the same set to his jaw that Leith recognised from his own childhood pictures, which his mother brought out every time he was at home; hundreds of him as a baby naked on a blanket, as a toddler standing proudly next to his father with his own child-sized fishing rod, on his mother’s lap as she read him a story, all depicting the years until his graduation photograph and beyond. As his racing mind conjured up an image of him taking his son fishing or out on the boat, just as his father had taken him, something shifted inside his chest.

He studied the photograph again. In his childhood photographs he was always smiling—he might look the worse for wear, with patches on his knees and a dirt-smeared face, but he always looked blissfully happy.

He drew closer to the screen and his skin chilled. His son didn’t look happy—he didn’t look happy at all.

No child of his should look like that.

Cassie was happier than she could ever remember being. After the night she’d spent with Leith, they took every moment they could to be together. As soon as their medical duties were over they’d slip away, either to walk into the African veld or sometimes take a blanket down to the beach where they’d sit and talk about their day as the waves lapped against the shore.

Her heart cracked a little every time she thought about it ending. Leaving wasn’t supposed to be this hard. Wasn’t this the reason she’d always promised herself never to care too much?

Tonight they were sitting on their favourite spot by the shore. Leith was behind her with his legs and arms wrapped around her as she rested against his chest.

‘Do you have to go to Sudan?’ he asked suddenly.

The question caught her unawares and silence hung heavily before she answered. ‘Why? What else would you have me do?’ she asked lightly.

‘Come to London. You could get a job with the practice or in one of the teaching hospitals. Someone with your credentials should find it easy to get a job anywhere.’

She doodled a picture in the sand, stalling for time. ‘Now, why should I do that?’

His arms tightened around her. ‘I’m not ready to let you go.’

Her breath stopped in her throat. For a moment her carefully constructed future held no allure, her need and want of him overriding every rational thought. Perhaps it needn’t end? The thought shook her. Was she really thinking that this could last? What he was asking was impossible—she couldn’t let her employers down at this late stage. Especially not for a dream that might not come to anything. ‘I can’t not go to Sudan, Leith. I’ve made a commitment.’

She felt his sigh. ‘Damn it.’

Wriggling out of his arms, she turned to face him.

‘You could come with me. They’re always looking for people.’

‘I can’t.’ His voice was flat, his expression unreadable.

The light inside her flickered and died. She had read too much into his words. He wanted her to come to him but he wasn’t prepared to do the same for her.

‘But we could meet again when you to return to London,’ he added. ‘Until then, we could write, email, phone even. I’m sure they have phones in Sudan.’ His eyes glittered in the moonlight as he searched her face. She could almost hear the thudding of her own heart.

Why not? Perhaps it was time she trusted her heart to someone. To Leith. Take a chance. The thought was hammering around inside her head. Go on, take a chance. This man could love you—really love you.

But would he love her for ever? Could love ever be for ever? Could fairy-tales come true?

She leaned towards him and pulled his head towards hers. ‘Enough of the talking,’ she said lightly. ‘Do you know it’s been at least twenty minutes since you last kissed me?’

All too soon it was their last night together. The boat was setting sail at dawn to go further up the coast and it would be leaving her behind to catch her flight to Sudan. Leith still had a few days left before he too would be returning to his job in London.

Sometimes Cassie fantasised about the life they could have together but deep down she knew it was only that—a fantasy. Despite the passion they had for one another’s bodies, they hardly knew each other. She had her life to lead, one that didn’t include children—or a permanent relationship.

But there were still a few hours left for them to be together and she was determined to make the most of every second.

She was lying in the crook of Leith’s arm as one of his hands brushed lazily along her shoulder. Over the last couple of days he’d seemed preoccupied. She’d often catch him looking into the distance as if he were miles away, but she didn’t ask. If he had something to tell her, let it be in his own time. She hated people’s questions too much to ever pry.

But tonight he seemed particularly distracted. Normally when they were together he focussed his full attention on her. She’d noticed that he did the same whatever he was doing, working, eating—or making love. At the memory of just how thoroughly he’d made love to her only moments before, her whole body tingled. She stretched languorously.

‘Penny for them,’ she said, wondering if he was thinking about a patient.

‘I’m not sure you’d want to hear them.’

A shiver ran down her spine. There was something ominous about the tone of his voice.

‘As long as you’re not going to tell me you’re married after all.’ She laughed nervously.

His hand stilled on her shoulder. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Of course it’s not that.’ He paused for a moment. ‘I had an email a couple of days ago.’

She propped herself onto her elbow and looked down at him. Anxiety fluttered when she saw he was frowning. ‘Bad news?’

‘No. Yes. Damn it. I don’t know. A bit of both.’ He swung his legs out of bed and pulled on his jeans. The only light came from the moon shining through the open curtains. Even in the half-light, he was unbelievably gorgeous with his hair tousled by their love-making, his skin golden from the African sun and his broad shoulders that tapered to slim hips and long legs. When he turned his intense green eyes on her, her heart lurched at the thought that soon she would lose him.

Since the night he’d suggested they keep in touch, he’d been strangely silent on the subject. Had he changed his mind? Or had she simply read more into his words than he’d meant? Had it been no more than a casual throw-away comment and was this the part when he told her it had been great but …?

She plucked nervously at the trimming of the sheets.

‘I’m afraid you’re going to have to explain.’

He sank down on the bed and pulled her against his bare chest. She lay there for a moment, listening to the beating of his heart.

‘I had a one-night stand a few years ago,’ he said finally. ‘Until recently I had forgotten about it.’

Cassie stiffened in his arms. She shouldn’t be surprised he had a past.

‘Her name was Jude. To be honest, I barely even remembered that. Anyway, her sister, Bella, wrote to me. It seems Jude had a child—about nine months after we had our—er—thing.’

A chill ran up Cassie’s spine. ‘You didn’t take precautions?’

He rubbed his hand across the rough stubble of his face. ‘It had been a tough day. She told me she was on the Pill. I chose to believe her.’

Cassie guessed what was coming next. ‘She had your baby.’

‘Apparently,’ he said dryly.

‘She didn’t tell you? So why has the sister written now?’ The hollow feeling in her stomach was getting worse. She wriggled out of his arms.

‘Because she’s worried. Bella’s been trying to persuade Jude to tell me that I have a son ever since Jude told her she was pregnant, but she wouldn’t.’

‘So what’s changed now?’

‘Bella doesn’t think Jude is coping with him. She’s even hinted that Jude’s been taking drugs.’ He raked his hand through his hair. ‘God, Cassie, what kind of mother would do that when she has a small child to take care of?’

Cassie hugged her knees to her chest. She knew only too well what kind of woman. Someone like her own birth mother for a start.

She felt horribly disappointed. Had she misjudged him completely? Had she been too quick to put him on a pedestal? Of course it was ridiculous to think anyone was without flaws—she of all people should know that.

‘I’m pretty sure she wasn’t on any drugs when we met. According to the family her drug taking only started a couple of years ago. And as to why she should feel it necessary not to tell me she was expecting our child, Lord knows, I haven’t all the details yet. Possibly because there was a man in her life, someone she was engaged to, when she and I had our—er—thing, and before you say anything I swear I didn’t know. Anyway, he left her when he found out the baby wasn’t his. Apparently that’s when Jude started behaving erratically.’

Poor Jude. But it was the little boy that Cassie’s heart went out to. Why did people have children if they weren’t capable of looking after them? When she felt all the old anger boil up inside her, she pushed it away before it could take hold.

‘Although he’s only four, Jude’s sister thinks that the boy is being badly affected by his mother’s behaviour.’ Leith rose from their narrow bed and started pacing up and down the small cabin.

‘What are you going to do?’

‘If he’s my child, and I have no doubt he is judging by the photo the sister emailed me, then I’m going to do whatever it takes to get access to him—fight for sole custody even if need be.’

He strode over to his laptop and flipped the lid. He typed something into the browser and turned the monitor so Cassie could see. ‘The sister sent me this picture of him.’

Cassie wrapped herself in a sheet and went to stand next to Leith. Immediately, just by looking at the little boy’s eyes, Cassie knew without doubt he was Leith’s son. The circumference of Leith’s iris was slightly irregular—barely noticeable unless, like Cassie, a person had spent a lot of time looking into his green eyes. This little boy had exactly the same irregularity in the same eye. But it wasn’t just the family resemblance that drew Cassie. In the child’s eyes she recognised the same bewilderment and pain that she’d seen in the rare photos of herself at the same age. She sucked in a breath, conscious of a knot in her stomach. An image rushed back of her as a little girl, having woken from a bad dream, sitting on the top of the stairs, praying that her mum would come and carry her back to bed, kiss her, say or do anything to make the ghosts and demons of the night go away. But when Mum hadn’t answered her calls, she had got cold and had eventually crept back to bed alone and miserable.

‘What’s his name?’ she asked, swallowing hard.

‘Peter.’

‘Where do they live?’

‘In Bristol.’

‘So what next?’

Leith raked a hand through his hair again and stared back at the computer screen, his expression bleak. ‘As soon as I get back to London, I’m going to consult a lawyer. If necessary, I’ll have him removed from his mother’s care.’

‘Perhaps you should meet Peter and his mother first? Talk to her. Maybe there will be no need for lawyers. If you involve them now, it’s possible Peter will be taken into care while access is sorted. Is that what you want? Think of him. Sometimes any sort of mother—if she loves the child—is better than a substitute.’

Leith narrowed his eyes. ‘I want my son. And if Jude isn’t able to look after him, then I want him away from her.’

This steel was a side to the normally easygoing Leith she hadn’t seen before. Chilled, she went back to bed and huddled under the thin duvet.

Leith’s pager buzzed. He cursed as he looked at the message that had come up. ‘There’s an emergency in Theatre and they need my help. Can we talk about this later?’

‘I’m leaving before the ship sails,’ she reminded him.

‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’ He tugged on his shirt. ‘Damn the timing. I haven’t even got your address or phone number,’ he groaned, tossing his mobile to her. ‘Could you put it in for me?’ He glanced at his watch, hopping on one foot as he pulled his left shoe on. ‘But be sure to come and find me if I get held up.’ Then he gathered her against him and kissed her hungrily.

Despite everything, Cassie melted into him and responded with a passion that, until she’d met Leith, she hadn’t known she was capable of.

He released her reluctantly. ‘God, I would give anything to be back in bed with you, woman, but I have to go. I’ll see you later.’ And with that he was gone.

For a long time after Leith had left Cassie lay on the bed, wrestling with her thoughts.

Leith had a child and that changed everything.

When she’d agreed to keep in touch that had been before … before she’d known he had a child.

She couldn’t be with Leith if he had a child. Particularly one who was bound to be needy. The parallels between her life and Peter’s were uncanny and she couldn’t, just couldn’t, risk becoming even slightly involved in the life of a vulnerable child and riding the emotional roller-coaster along with him and his father.

But, a little voice whispered, it’s not as if he’s asking you to be a mother to his child.

It didn’t matter if he was asking or not. He wasn’t the kind of man who would put his child aside for anyone. If he had been, she couldn’t love him the way she did.

And she did. Love him. With all her heart and soul, and would for the rest of her days.

But be a mother to his child? If it ever came to that?

No.

She didn’t know how.

She wasn’t up to the task. She couldn’t be objective enough, and soon, in all likelihood, she and Leith would end up disagreeing about what was best for Peter and he would be caught in the middle, her own objectivity compromised by a lifetime of hurt. Of course it was impossible.

She couldn’t be with Leith. Her throat closed. All her dreams of a fairy-tale ending had been just that—a dream.

Flinging back the covers, Cassie dragged herself out of bed and started getting dressed. There was still the rest of her packing and a thousand other things to do and she didn’t want to be here when he returned. Better to end it now, quickly and as pain-free as possible. Leith and his son deserved better. They deserved someone who could be part of their family, not a damaged woman who had no intention of being a mother—not even a stepmother—particularly not a stepmother. If she couldn’t risk not loving a child of her own enough, how could she risk not loving Leith’s son? And Leith would demand it. If she were in his shoes, she would feel the same.

As for Peter … The little boy had enough to cope with without a new woman in his father’s life—one who might be there one minute and gone the next.

She tasted the salt of her tears. She loved Leith too much to get in the way of a life with his son. He would forget about her soon enough. But just in case she had to make sure he wouldn’t come after her.

The tightness in her chest hurt.

She scrawled a few lines on a piece of paper she found next to his computer. Then she opened the door and slipped outside.

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