Praise for KATY COLINS

‘As well as being a sensory tour of a stunning country, this is a story with real heart. We absolutely loved it.’

– Heat on Destination India

‘Katy writes with humour and heart. The Lonely Hearts Travel Club is like Bridget Jones goes backpacking.’

– Holly Martin, author of The White Cliff Bay series

‘The perfect first-sunny-afternoon in the garden book!’

– Kathleen Gray on Destination India

‘I cannot recommend this book enough. It is beautifully written with a brilliant plot and fantastic characters. READ IT!!’

– Blabbering About Books on Destination Thailand

‘Imaginative, fascinating, and funny!’

– What’s Better Than Books? on Destination India

‘If you’re looking for an escape from the cold, winter nights, the drudgery of day to day life and love to read about exotic locations then Katy Colins’s debut novel is the book for you.’

– Ellen Faith on Destination Thailand

‘A great book to pop in your holiday/weekend bag that will make you just want more.’

– The Reading Shed on Destination India

‘Destination Thailand had me hooked from the very first page and kept me up ’til 2:30 a.m. as I was dying to know what happened next.’

– Books and Boardies

‘I loved this book.’

– For the Love of Books on Destination Thailand

Destination: Chile

Katy Colins

COPYRIGHT

HQ

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2016

Copyright © Katy Colins 2016

Katy Colins asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

E-book Edition © June 2016 ISBN: 9781474046725

Version date: 2018-07-23

KATY COLINS

KATY sold all she owned, filled a backpack and booked a one-way ticket to south east Asia after her wedding was called off – and never looked back.

The acclaimed travel blogger’s experiences inspired her to pen The Lonely Travel Hearts Club and even saw her labelled the ‘Backpacking Bridget Jones’.

When she’s not globe-trotting, writing about her adventures and telling anyone who’ll listen to grab life by the horns, Katy loves catching up with family and friends and convincing herself that her cake addiction isn’t out of control – just yet.

You can find out more about Katy, her writing and her travels on her blog www.notwedordead.com or via social media @notwedordead

The most inspiring people are the ones who don’t even

know they’re doing it.

Charlotte, this is for you.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

COVER

Praise for KATY COLINS

TITLE PAGE

COPYRIGHT

KATY COLINS

DEDICATION

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 28

CHAPTER 29

CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 31

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ENDPAGES

ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

CHAPTER 1

Glean (v.) – To find out

‘Do you really need another candle?’ Ben asked, pushing our overflowing trolley through the winding aisles of Ikea.

I’d stopped to sniff the warming scent of a pale green, stumpy candle and stared at him as if he’d just asked me if I ever got tired of eating chocolate. ‘You can never have too many candles; everyone knows that.’

‘Well if it makes you happy, I guess. I just don’t see the point in buying things to then set fire to; it’s like you are literally burning money.’ He laughed, shaking his head. ‘Although the question is, are they called Grönkulla or Färdfull or even Knutstorp? I mean that could change everything.’ He put on a terrible Scandinavian accent, like he had for most of the last hour, making me giggle.

‘Actually, they’re called Fyrkantig, but, oh my God, you’re like fluent!’ I teased.

He pushed out his chest proudly. ‘Yup. Oh wait should that be “ja”? Come on, though, I’m starving and you promised me meatballs.’

I dropped a couple more gorgeously smelly candles in amongst the fluffy white cushions, photo frames and other practical and pretty household goods and linked my arm around his waist. ‘Okay, one plate of meatballs coming right up.’ I then bit my lip and looked at our stash. ‘Do you reckon we’ve got everything we need?’

‘We literally have got everything.’ He let out a long groan, which I knew was hiding how much he’d actually enjoyed our jaunt through the huge warehouse that was so enormous it could be its own nation state.

I, on the other hand, had been stupidly nervous about our first couple’s trip here. After all, shopping for joint furniture in Ikea was a rite of passage in any relationship, especially as the last time I’d been here with my ex, Alex, in this ‘Swedish hellhole’, as he’d called it, and we’d left with a Billy bookcase and a blazing row. We didn’t speak for two hours after the shopping trip that I’d previously imagined to be full of excitement at building our home together and not the fraught nightmare of bickering arguments – and that was before we’d even got to the tricky part of assembling the damn things.

This time, everything was different. Ben and I had meandered through the vast shop on our first official visit; we weren’t squabbling over who did the most cooking as we walked through the kitchen showroom, or awkwardly quickening our pace through the kids’ section. It was, well, actually fun. It was everything I’d imagined it would be before that disastrous trip with Alex.

But now, two hours after first stepping foot in here, I realised that Ben’s enjoyment levels were waning. The only time that we could both make it to come here was a Saturday and it felt like the rest of Manchester had had the exact same idea. We shuffled along, behind harassed DIY-ers, screaming children and couples having heated rows under their breath over who had the better taste in curtain patterns, all diligently following the maze of yellow arrows to the exit.

‘I reckon they need to move away from each other before these tiny weeny pencils find themselves wedged some place they shouldn’t be,’ Ben had said, nodding at one older married couple who were glaring at each other with looks so vicious it seemed they might start divorce proceedings amongst the Jeff chairs and Ektorp sofas. For many people, stepping foot in here makes you suddenly realise that your partner’s awful taste in soft furnishings represents all the things you despise about them and that, really, you can’t actually stand each other.

I’d let out a little laugh and pulled him through one of the mystery Scooby Doo doors, a hidden passageway to skip over the bathroom showroom completely, a trick I’d remembered the last time I’d been here when I’d marched off in a huff after Alex had called my choice in bath mats ‘too common’. The rat maze they force you to follow is why coming here is so full of potential pitfalls for any relationship whether new or well established: you can’t easily leave. They lie to you about the exits – well they don’t lie, but in my pissed off state I’d felt like I was stomping around in circles, passing the same bunch of equally harassed people clutching their bright yellow carrier bags like comfort blankets. But this time I was prepared. This time I knew the shortcuts.

‘Let’s never become like them. Promise me,’ I’d whispered clutching Ben’s hand.

We’d found ourselves, quite aptly, in the bedroom section. Ben playfully pulled me onto the nearest perfectly made up king-sized bed, with a duvet cover that would actually quite suit our bedroom, and lay me down on the soft surface.

‘I promise.’ He leant over and kissed me hard.

The tutting of an Indian man examining the nearby hypoallergenic pillows made me blush so I pulled us back to our feet to finish the shopping and get back home, to our own bed. Ikea is not a place for idle browsing and I may have strayed somewhat from the list I’d scrawled out as we’d had breakfast earlier. It was time to call it a day.

‘Oooh, wait. I forgot we need cereal bowls!’ I exclaimed as we moved onto the next section, remembering that the ones we currently had were chipped and, well, just not deep enough for my liking.

‘Okay. Cereal bowls and then let’s get out of here.’

‘Deal.’

Ben’s eyes had narrowed as if he was a character in a video game, some sniper assassin that had been trained to keep their focus on the target, refusing to be drawn in by my ‘oh look, isn’t that gorgeous!’ or ‘we need one of these’ lines as I shuffled through the Market Hall getting carried away by the funky coloured spatulas.

I imagined that in a moment he would take my hand and break into a run just to tear me away from ALL OF THE PRETTY THINGS, called Rort or Skedstorn or even a word with no apparent vowels in, that I couldn’t help but chuck into the crispy, oversized blue bags. I could feel Ben’s amused eyes flick to me as I snuck in another couple of tea towels.

‘Really, babe?’ he asked with a wry smile, faking a yawn.

‘I know, but they are so cheap!’ I took a deep breath. ‘Okay, please get me out of here. I don’t know what’s happened to my self-control!’ I wailed as he laughed and took my hand.

We made it to the self-service checkout section of the shop pretty disgustingly smugly if you ask me, especially with relationship apocalypse exploding around us. We sauntered through to the right aisle (I’d been meticulous about scribbling down where the dining table was located that we’d both liked) holding hands and coming up with how many famous Swedish people we could think of. Ulrika Jonsson and ABBA topped the poll after some obscure football players Ben suggested. It was all going rather swimmingly, maybe too swimmingly, until we saw the oblong-shaped thick cardboard box on section A shelf 39.

‘Oh.’

‘Balls.’

‘It’s enormous!’ I gasped. Not only did I worry about us getting it into the car, I also didn’t know how it would fit in our already cosy flat. This was the main reason we’d come here as we were having a dinner party in a few days, a posh house-warming, and I’d panicked that our guests would have to eat from their laps.

‘I’m sure it’s all just packaging. I don’t remember it being that big in the showroom,’ he said, scratching his head.

I nodded even though I wasn’t convinced. ‘You did do the measurements before we came out, didn’t you?’

‘Yep, come on. It’ll be fine,’ he said, through a heavy wheeze as he awkwardly hoisted the giant box onto the flat trolley, ignoring my narrowed eyes.

We were both exhausted and as fun and relatively painless as this shopping trip had been I was ready to get home, put the kettle on and brew up in my new matching mugs. Of course he had the sizes worked out in his head – just trust him, Georgia. But the meatballs and lingonberry sauce were soon forgotten as we struggled to just get the damn thing into Ben’s car. We drove the whole way back to our flat with my seat pulled as far forward as it would go. I told Ben to be careful not to brake suddenly or else my neck would be sliced open by the sharp corner of the box that was precariously close to decapitating me.

We eventually both fell onto the sofa trying to catch our breath from lugging the enormous box through the front door. My smugness at surviving Ikea was starting to fade, but our spirits were still relatively high as we found a way to laugh at the experience, a pretty impressive feat considering how stilted the car journey had been – although I did smile to myself at Ben’s cautious grandma-style driving.

‘Well, it’s in!’ He smiled, wiping his damp forehead. ‘How about I crack on with putting it up and you clear some room in the bedroom for all these candles you’ve collected?’

‘You sure you don’t want a hand?’ I asked, looking at the mess he was making tearing his way into the giant box, pulling out the surprisingly thick instruction manual, bubble wrap and screws that were soon littering the floor.

‘Nope. If I can’t put up a simple table for my woman, then I basically fail at being a man.’ He grinned, looking unfazed by the debris around him and popping the lid off a cold bottle of lager, ready for the challenge.

‘Okay then, if you’re sure…’ I leant down and pecked him on his mop of dark brown curls. ‘Good luck.’

I made my way around the boxes that lined the hallway, the ones we still had to unpack, trying to ignore the possible fire risk they posed, and dragged the full, blue Ikea sack into the bedroom. This was already my favourite room in the flat. It was a larger than average size with wide sash windows that let in so much light it made the calming space seem even bigger. I was still amazed that after moving out of the house I’d shared with my ex, Alex, and then going backpacking, I’d amassed so much stuff. Since moving in a month ago, Ben and I had been dancing around each other, finding places for both of our life possessions and bringing a touch of homely charm to the previously blank canvas.

It had been only a matter of time before Ben had moved out of the flat he’d shared with his best mate Jimmy and we got a place of our own. The decision to live together had been such an obvious one, especially as we spent all of our time in each other’s company at work anyway and our relationship was going so well. The times I did find myself apart from him I’d hated.

I artistically arranged my new candle collection on top of the chest of drawers, next to the framed photo of us taken when we’d first met on a sun-drenched Thai beach. So much had changed since that moment I sometimes forgot where it had all started. Since then we’d launched our own joint business, The Lonely Hearts Travel Club, fallen in love and were now living together. I never could have predicted any of this back then when this hot stranger had placed his arm around my waist as I grinned at the camera lens.

I pulled myself back to the moment and smiled at hearing Ben whistling along to the radio from the lounge. I couldn’t remember feeling this happy and excited about the future before; it was such a special, precious feeling that I never wanted to end. It had made sense to move in together. Both of our diaries were always full of short breaks, taken separately, to promote The Lonely Hearts Travel Club – just in the last few months I’d been to Spain, Greece and Morocco. But sadly, the most I got to see of the fascinating destinations was the airport and a variety of nondescript hotel rooms. It also meant that when I wasn’t away from the office then Ben was, both of us taking it in turns to keep in personal contact with our travel guides and excursions, as well as trying to bring in new clients.

This was all so exciting, but it meant we had to manage our downtime carefully, with planned date nights and time together booked into our diaries weeks or months in advance. I wouldn’t say I ever really got homesick but I had found myself feeling sick of not having a home – with Ben. Somewhere we could both at least wake up and fall asleep together whenever we were in the same country.

Not wanting to get in the way of his furniture assembly techniques, I decided to make a start on unpacking those boxes littering the hallway. They were labelled Ben’s Clothes so I ungracefully dragged them into the bedroom and pulled open the floor-to-ceiling, built-in wardrobes, wincing at how cluttered it was already looking in here.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the comforting and familiar scent of my boyfriend as I pulled out soft T-shirts and piled them in the drawers on his side of the wardrobe. Lost in heady memories that his smell caused my brain and my lady parts, I almost missed it. In amongst neatly folded winter jumpers, my hand touched upon a solid object. Digging further into the cardboard box I felt my stomach clench and my heart skipped a beat as everything around me froze.

Tucked – almost hidden – in the pocket of a thick woollen jacket was a small, maroon-coloured, velvet box.

CHAPTER 2

Qualm (n.) – A sudden feeling of doubt, fear or uneasiness, especially in not following one’s conscience or better judgement

For a few seconds I just stared at the golden trimmed little box as it sat in my trembling hands, as if holding an injured bird or an unexploded landmine. I was too nervous to move a muscle or even catch up on the breath that had caught in my dry throat.

‘Ah, bollocks!’ I could hear Ben swearing as he got on with assembling the dining-room table, unaware of the momentous discovery that his girlfriend had just made in the very next room.

‘Open it, open it,’ my subconscious urged. ‘No!’ my brain shrieked. ‘Once you do, everything will change.’

I rubbed my index finger slowly over the lid as I battled with whether to look inside or not. What if it was hideous? What if it wasn’t even an engagement ring but a nice set of earrings instead? Screw it, there’s only one way to find out.

I gingerly lifted the lid and heard myself take a sharp breath. The sunlight streaming through the bedroom windows caught the diamond that was proudly set on a simple but elegant platinum band, forcing me to blink. It was gorgeous. And, it was most definitely an engagement ring.

Unanswered questions, thoughts and emotions suddenly flooded my shocked mind, which is probably why I did what I did next. It was as if I had come out of my body, lost all of my common sense and had shoved my fingers in my ears singing ‘la la la, I’m not listening’ to my brain, which was currently having a panic attack. Checking the bedroom door was firmly closed and hearing Ben muttering to himself over the music from the radio, I lifted the sparkling diamond out of the plush box and put the ring on.

It slid down my ring finger effortlessly. Like Cinderella trying on the glass slipper, it fit like it had been made for me. I couldn’t hide my bright smile as I admired the gleaming rock glinting on my hand, making my usually quite stubby fingers and gnawed cuticles appear as smooth and pretty as a hand model’s.

I didn’t even stop to think about what finding this hidden box would mean for our relationship, if I was even ready to get married to Ben, if I wanted to be someone’s fiancée again after the disaster I’d made of it the last time. All that mattered was me and this ring, which was so obviously meant to be mine. I’d become blinded by its beauty, causing all rational thoughts to exit the building. It had left me curled up on the floor, Gollum-like, stroking my precious.

I don’t know how long I sat like that, with my back leaning on the edge of our bed and my open mouth gaping at the beauty of the piece of jewellery, but in my admiration I hadn’t realised that the radio Ben had been badly humming along to had been turned off.

‘Babe, I think you might want to come out here,’ Ben’s voice sounded louder in the stillness, floating through the flat and shocking me back into the moment.

‘Oh right, erm, yep, give me a sec,’ I cried, hurriedly pulling at the ring to get it off, tuck it back in the box and hide it away before he came into the room and found me like this.

I didn’t know if the room had heated up or it was karma coming back to bite me for opening the box, but the ring wouldn’t come back up past my joint. Shit! I tugged it, pulled at it and even spat on my own stubby, stupid finger to prise the thing off. But it remained stubbornly jammed on.

‘You know we were a little concerned about the table being too big?’ Ben asked nervously, right outside the bedroom door.

‘Mmm?’ I replied, only half-listening. Come off, just come off! I was sweating and wincing at the pain of trying to force this damn ring over my finger without snapping a bone, just as the handle turned. I launched myself to the bedroom door and blockaded it using my body weight to keep Ben from getting in, all the while twisting and tugging at my hand that was now red and swelling up in pain.

‘You okay in there? I can’t get in!’ he called out through the wood.

‘Yeah, fine, just got boxes everywhere. I’ll be out in a sec,’ I called back, my voice strangely high-pitched and strangled.

I could hear him standing on the other side of the door for a few seconds longer, my head throbbing as much as my hand in fear at him coming in.

‘Oh right. I’ll pop the kettle on shall I?’

‘Yep, great, fine, thanks!’

Eventually, as I heard his footsteps on the wooden floors head back towards the kitchen, I let out a sigh of relief. My hand had now turned a strange shade of yellow with angry-looking red blotches from the force of me fighting with this damn ring. With one final tug, and a female tennis player style grunt, it flew off and skittered over to the other corner of the room. I leant my head against the door and tried to control my breathing. I wiped the sweat from my forehead, wincing at my sore finger. I quickly pulled myself together and shoved the ring back in its box, stuffing it back in the pocket where I’d found it.

A moment later the bedroom door opened. Ben was stood there holding out a steaming mug for me. ‘Here you go.’ I was sure his eyes widened at the mess I’d made in the bedroom. ‘You okay, babe?’

‘Ah thanks, yeah, all good. Right, let’s see your masterpiece!’ I said, pecking him on the cheek and shooing him out of the stuffy room, rubbing my sore hand behind my back.

‘Well, like I said, you might need to manage your expectations.’ He coughed. ‘It is a little larger than I’d… well, you’ll see…’ Ben trailed off.

I stopped still as I walked into the lounge. All thoughts of rings and wedding plans vanishing from my mind as I saw what he’d assembled. ‘A little larger?’ I gasped.

The dining-room table that had seemed so stylish in the showroom was now taking up pretty much all of our floor space. It looked ridiculous. I couldn’t concentrate on what he was sheepishly explaining. As he rambled on about measurements, sizes and dimensions, I zoned out and self-consciously rubbed my sore ring finger. Was this an omen? A sign of things to come? Our first proper adult purchase as a couple and it didn’t fit, just like the engagement ring? If that was the case then what the hell did that mean for us?

CHAPTER 3

Equanimity (n.) – Evenness of mind, especially under stress

You know how sometimes they say that when things are going well it is as if the stars are aligned and everything in the universe is exactly how it should be? But, the thing they don’t tell you is how precarious this configuration is, how it can all fall out of alignment at any second. Imagine a steel tightrope with everything perfectly balanced on this sturdy, but still pretty vulnerable wire; this was how my life seemed to me. Maybe I had been too smug, too content, but with the gift of hindsight I could see how a gust of wind, a heavy bird plonking its feathered butt on the high line, or even a slip of the tongue and a secret that was never meant to be shared, could cause all the elements that had previously been so perfectly positioned to tumble and free-fall from a dizzying height to the ground. How could I have known that the laws of physics – or whatever it was that had caused this chain of events – would be the start of the stars falling out of alignment, the start of everything going so very very wrong? How naïve I was.

*

Of course, these thoughts were far from my mind as I went to meet my best friend the next day to fill her in on the drama of discovering the ring, the upcoming proposal and the monstrous dining table taking over my lounge. With all that had happened yesterday – including Ben and me having a silly, bickering row over the sodding table and its elephantine dimensions, ending with me telling him that size does matter – I hadn’t given much thought to what discovering this engagement ring actually meant for us.

Of course, I’d be lying if I told you that I hadn’t, at various times since we met, imagined the wedding day that Ben and I might have. Him in a cool linen suit with his freckled nose, me in a simple but stunning long, floaty dress, both promising our vows as we stared adoringly at each other on an exotic, cashmere-soft, sandy beach. I’d imagined how he would be as a father: kind but fair, hands-on but not smothering.

As fun as these daydreams were – strangely I was always a slimmer, swishy-haired version of myself – we’d never really had deep discussions about babies and weddings. There had been light-hearted jokes at unusual baby names – Ben was on a one-man mission to bring back the name Roy, and I had laughed, but secretly hoped he’d been joking, just in case. But having children and marrying each other wasn’t completely outside the realm of possibility. I mean, we had successfully navigated working together as we ran our ever-growing travel and tour agency for broken-hearted singles, and so far living together had been a sickeningly easy breeze; but neither of us had spoken about marriage being on the cards. At least, not yet.

In a way I was grateful that I’d made the shocking ring discovery, to give me some time to get my head around the idea and figure out if I thought we were in the place Ben so obviously thought we were. Not that I didn’t want to marry my clever, kind, good-looking, amazing-in-the-bedroom boyfriend, of course, but because I’d been so badly burned after ending up a jilted bride before. I was meant to have married my ex, Alex; we’d had everything planned, paid for and organised but just before the big day he had revealed that he had been cheating on me and called the whole thing off. Him uttering those painful words ‘I can’t marry you’, had brought about the biggest change in my life.

I had gone backpacking, met Ben, fallen in love, started my own business and truly found that travel did heal a broken heart. I now believed that what Alex did was the best thing that ever happened to me. Not that it wasn’t heartbreaking and difficult – I mean, what girl wants to be told by someone they love and trust that actually they weren’t worthy enough to become their wife? But, over time, I felt like I’d healed myself and I had discovered that all those irritating clichés people harp on about, like time being the best healer, actually were true.

My life was so much better now than it had ever been, thanks in a large part to Ben and the success we’d made of our joint business. Maybe the non-wedding with Alex was all part of the plan – the rehearsal, if you will – for what would be the wedding of the year with Ben?

‘Will you take over pushing the buggy for a minute?’ Marie asked, breaking me from my bonkers bridal thoughts. ‘I’ve got cramp, another wonderful side effect of being with child,’ she grumbled.

We were slowly meandering around the local park – and I mean slowly; even the ducks were waddling faster than us. Marie was on her ‘get this baby out of me’ mission, and I’d completely forgotten that I’d agreed to support her until she called me this morning. Her due date was still weeks away but she was determined to deliver precisely on time. She’d been exactly the same with her toddler, Cole, her firstborn. Marie was having this baby on her due date, come hell or high water.

‘I don’t feel like I did with Cole, so I need to be upping my game to get this baby out of me,’ she said, as I took over wheeling his pushchair for a while over fallen branches and skirted round piles of dog poo. Marie had a crazed look in her eyes as she spoke. It was a look I remembered seeing when we were both eighteen and she was determined to finish the line of shots in Waverley’s bar in order to win a free T-shirt. Those luminous shooters never stood a chance.

‘Marie, it’s a baby. I know I’m not a world expert on the subject matter but don’t they kind of come when they’re ready?’

She glared at me. The mood swings were clearly still going strong. ‘Georgia Green, I may have developed haemorrhoids, darker nipples, and lost the ability to hold in my pee when I sneeze or cough or laugh, but this, this is something I know I can control.’ She looked like a determined Michelin Man under the many layers swaddling her neat bump as she waddled around.

‘I still can’t believe that you haven’t found out what you’re having.’

‘We’re having a baby, Georgia. Did no one tell you?’ She stuck her tongue out playfully.

‘Ha, bloody, ha. I mean, how have you not been desperate to know if it’s a girl or a boy? I’d certainly need to know if a teeny, weeny penis was currently growing inside me.’ I shuddered.

‘Well, we all know there have been enough of them inside me.’ She laughed, blushing at the carefree memories of her single days. ‘Nah, seriously though, I don’t want to ruin the surprise. It will make it even more magical when he or she does finally make an appearance.’ She put on that drowsy hippy voice that she used to use to imitate Lorraine with the lazy eye. Lazy-Eye Lorraine. She was an earth-mother type woman who ran the antenatal classes and got right on Marie’s nerves by implying that basically she’d been a lousy mum to Cole and that nowadays they did things differently. Everything was magical in Lorraine’s world.

Marie didn’t do ‘magical’; she did practical, and right now the most practical thing she could do was try her hardest to get her baby safely into the world on her due date. It was a mini achievement but still one way to show bog-eyed Lorraine that mummy Marie wasn’t a failure.

‘If you don’t know what you’re having then what have you been buying for it? Isn’t there some unwritten code of motherhood that you go all out and splash the cash on anything and everything pink for a girl or blue for a boy?’

Marie rolled her eyes and sighed. ‘It’s all about gender-neutral clothes for babies nowadays, so he or she is going to have a wardrobe filled with yellows, greens and whites. I just hope people will be able to tell what sex it is by the look of him, or her.’

I scoffed. ‘Well, if it was me I’d dress my baby only in teeny tiny Halloween costumes. That’s one way to do the gender-neutral look.’

She let out a burst of laughter. ‘Thank the Lord you’re not expecting then. I’m not sure how the baby would like to look back at their first year of life to realise they were dressed as a pumpkin or a bat for most of it.’

‘Yeah, maybe, but how cute! God, Marie, it’s just mad to think that soon he or she will be here sharing this buggy with Cole.’ I felt this strange tingle in my chest as I said it. Everything was changing. My best friend’s life would never be the same again. When she was pregnant with Cole we had spent ages imagining what he would be like, how he would grow into an actual person with a personality, and what becoming a mum, rather than just being Marie, would be like. I guess a small and selfish part of me had worried that I’d be sidelined from our friendship once she had this other human who was the complete centre of her world. How could her best friend ever compete with that?

They say a mother’s love is like no other, but not having a child I could only understand that from a rational perspective. Now we were on the edge of her life changing again, but this time I was less concerned with how I was going to fit in, and instead focused on the fact that my life was about to change, too.

‘I know.’ She smiled tiredly. ‘And then Operation Skinny Jeans is back on.’

I frowned at her.

‘Don’t give me that look! I’m not going to be going all A-List celeb and ping straight back but I am desperate to feel like my body is my own again. Plus, if I’m going to meet my five-year plan then I need to be getting trim for the big day.’

‘This big day that Mike knows nothing about,’ I teased, then let out a deep sigh. ‘It’s amazing to think that a few years ago we were both in such different places – and yet somehow exactly the same – as where we are now. What with you popping out sproglets and me…about to get engaged…’

It took a few moments for this to click in.

‘Oh my God! What? You’re getting married!’ Marie’s squeals made a lone dog walker jump from the other side of the lake. My ring finger throbbed in memory of the torture it had been under as she mentioned the M word.

‘Shush! You’re going to wake Cole!’ I glanced down at her toddler son, wrapped up in blankets in his buggy. He remained fast asleep with just his pink nose and angel-bud lips peeking out of the many covers she had piled on him earlier.

‘Tell me everything!’ She’d stopped in her tracks and snatched up my hand to hunt for any sign of bling. ‘Wait – where’s the ring?’

‘Well, okay, so I’m not engaged yet. But I will be…’

She stared at me, blank faced, as if I’d totally lost the plot. ‘You what?’

I sighed and told her about the trip to Ikea, the unpacking, finding the ring and damaging the nerves in my finger from the force of trying to get it off before Ben caught me.

‘Wow, so what was it like?’

‘Dreamy.’ I hugged myself without realising it.

‘Better than the last one you got?’ She raised an eyebrow.

I pulled myself together. ‘Yes, actually.’

She nodded slowly, thinking of how to word the next question. ‘Are you ready to do all of that again? You know, with what happened last time?’ she eventually asked, leaving a whisper of breath hanging in the air.

‘Yeah, course. I mean, I think so.’ She gave me a look. I stared back. ‘I love Ben, and this time it already feels so different to how I felt with Alex. It’s like I’ve grown up and realised what’s actually important in a relationship. Plus, I just know myself so much better – I know what I want now. I am so different from old Georgia, it’s like I finally know who I am. At least, I think so. It has come as a bit of a surprise.’

‘You think so? Georgia, this is a big deal. You need to be sure.’ She paused. ‘I’m only asking because I was the one who saw how everything collapsed the last time. I never ever want that to happen to you again.’ She visibly shuddered.

I stuck my chest out. ‘It won’t. Ben loves me, and he obviously thinks we’re ready for this otherwise he wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of buying the ring –’

‘I just worry about you that’s all.’

I looked down at her swollen tummy. ‘Well, that makes two of us.’

‘You know I love Ben, and I think it’s great that you’re living together, but don’t you want to, I don’t know, just enjoy that part rather than dive headfirst into the crazy world of weddings?’ She must have caught my expression as she hastily added, ‘I’m thrilled for you – well I will be when it actually happens – it’s just I don’t want you to feel like you’re being rushed into big decisions all because you’ve seen a lovely shiny ring.’

‘He does have very good taste in jewellery,’ I mused. ‘I’m joking – it’s not just about the ring. I understand what you’re saying, it was a shock for me too. Of course, someday I could see us taking that big step, I just hadn’t realised that Ben’s someday was now.’

‘I also think you need to consider how this might affect Lonely Hearts, how your team will feel working for a husband and wife and the marital dramas that could spill over into your business decisions…’

I’d spoken to Marie many a time about how even though business-wise we were as thick as thieves, in terms of our relationship I sometimes struggled making it less about work and more about us. It was a hard balance made even harder when Ben was the type of person who kept his cards close to his chest, especially where his family were concerned. I still hadn’t even met any of the Stevens clan, something that would surely have to change before our big day.

I blew on my fingertips for warmth. A puff of breath, like smoke from a Heston Blumenthal recipe, escaped. ‘I guess it’s something we need to consider. I know we’re both focused on making sure we don’t only talk about work but it’s easier said than done, especially with him being so keen on us expanding to London.’

‘You not a fan of cockneys?’

I laughed. ‘It’s not that! It’s nothing against London or Londoners, it’s just a big decision and one I don’t think we’re ready for just yet. Yes, it could bring about a lot of money and new opportunities, but as much as the business is growing and making a healthy profit with the Manchester store, I don’t know if it would pay off taking on the stress and risk of having another venue in another city. Ben’s a dreamer, and he’s adamant it will work, whereas I’m trying to be more rational before making a call on it. It’s been hard recently, as this is the one area we don’t see eye to eye on.’

‘Bigger doesn’t always mean better,’ she said, then clapped her hand to her mouth. ‘Unless you’re pregnant!’

‘Yeah.’ I smiled and shook my head, also thinking about the gigantic dining-room table that had taken over our flat. ‘I don’t know. This London move is one decision, and a blooming big one at that, where we’re not singing from the same hymn sheet.’

‘I don’t know what the hell that means, but it sounds like you’re not exactly ready to be getting married to Ben if you can’t even agree on the direction you take your business.’ She raised her eyebrows and pulled her coat tighter. ‘It sounds to me like you need a plan. I know how much you love them!’

‘What, a plan to get my boyfriend to open up more and convince him the London move is not a good idea, well not any time soon anyway?’

Marie shrugged. ‘Maybe you need to get away from things for a bit? I don’t know, take a holiday or something before you make any big decisions on London or on your future as a couple. That way you can get out of Manchester and maybe by having a change of scene it will be easier for you to talk about where you’re going with this, and decide whether you’re ready to commit to him for ever and make lots of model good-looking babies?’

I scoffed. ‘I’ll leave the baby making to you for the time being. Although a holiday on some exotic, sun-drenched beach sounds idyllic right now.’ I nodded at the pathetic and unloved playground we’d made our way towards. A chipped and forlorn swing set wafted in the cold breeze; thankfully Cole was still in the land of nod, saving us from spending longer than needed in this depressing place. Is there anything sadder than a children’s play area without children playing in it? In the dull grey light, it seemed even more unloved, especially when framed by the lake with empty crisp packets and cans of Stella bobbing on the surface of the murky waters.

‘Hmm. You keep telling yourself that. I know you don’t want to hear it but your biological clock will soon be saying another thing.’

‘You’re sounding like my parents.’ I laughed and hooked my arm into hers for extra warmth. ‘So, back to you, are you getting nervous for the big day?’

‘What, the wedding?’ She looked at me in surprise.

‘No!’ I slapped a gloved hand to my forehead. What was it with all this wedding talk? ‘Marie, there is no wedding until you get engaged first.’

‘Oh yeah.’ She shrugged. ‘That’s just a slight bump in the road. Mike will ask me. I bet there’s been some scientific tests done to prove that more couples get engaged just after they’ve had a baby than at any other time in a relationship. I mean, at that point, the guys are just in total awe of you for pushing out their child in one piece from your lady parts. You can do no wrong.’

‘I have no doubt that he’ll be putting a ring on your finger before this year is out. But no, I was talking about the actual birth. Are you not slightly cacking your pants in fear of doing all that again?’ I rubbed her arms that had tensed against the bars of the pushchair. Cole’s birth hadn’t been easy. There had been complications and we had very nearly lost the pair of them, something that we’d long brushed under the carpet but that still sent a chill down my spine when I thought about it.

I’d never seen my best friend so distraught as when her newborn son was kept under observation for a few days after his dramatic arrival, and despite making what the doctors classed as a miraculous and speedy recovery herself, she had been in pieces that she was to blame for his terrifying entrance into the world. She’d tortured herself by staring at his tiny, fragile body attached to tubes and wires in the incubator, repeating that she hadn’t taken good enough care of herself during the pregnancy, that because she didn’t find out she was expecting until she was fourteen weeks gone, she had caused too much irreversible damage by drinking on a couple of nights out that we’d been on.

It was all bollocks, and the doctors could tell her until they were blue in the face that no one was to blame, it was just one of those things, but until Cole had grown strong enough to leave the sterile incubator and come home she didn’t dare relax. This was why she’d been so strict with herself during this pregnancy; everything had to be done by the book. It was something Mike had lost patience with a few times, telling her to stop stressing and start enjoying the whole thing, but Marie had been steadfast that this birth was going to make up for the experience she’d had with Cole – that it was going to go to plan and be as perfect as it could be.

I couldn’t tell if it was the grubby light of the park or if she had suddenly gone very pale. ‘Nah.’ She brushed a strand of her ruby-red hair off her face and swallowed.

‘Marie? It’s okay to be frightened,’ I said softly.

She stopped waddling and turned to face me. Tears had pricked her tired eyes and the tip of her nose was a raspberry pink from the cold air. ‘I’m shitting myself, Georgia. But I can’t let myself be scared. I’ve done it once so I know the score, but in a way that’s made it even more terrifying as I know exactly what to expect and, ignore the awful pun, but it’s not a walk in the park.’ She let out a laugh that I didn’t recognise as hers. Suddenly my bolshie fiery redhead regressed to the skinny-legged teen desperate to be an A plus student that I knew and loved. I wrapped my arms around her, difficult to do with the many layers she had on and the large bump between us.

‘It’s okay to be scared. But you’re going to nail it. I know you are.’

She sniffed and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her coat. ‘Thanks. I hope you’re right. Everyone says it’s worth the pain for what you get at the end of it, and I know that’s true, but at the same time it really fucking hurts! That’s what I mean about my body not being my own. I have no control over what’s going to happen to it when I go into labour and I just have to hope that it’ll do what it’s biologically designed to.’

I nodded fervently. ‘You will be amazing. Mike will probably propose to you right then and there at seeing what an awesome gift you’ve given him.’

Her lips curled into a slow smile. ‘It will get me out of doing the chores for a good couple of months, at the very least.’

I shook my head. ‘I seriously don’t know how you’re going to do it with two children under the age of four! I mean, I find just being in charge of me exhausting.’ I wished that I was half joking about this. ‘Stop laughing, I’m being serious! I still get spots, I use Google to find the answers to things way more than I probably should, and I don’t know how to correctly pronounce quinoa or what the hell it even is. Then here’s you totally nailing the yummy mummy thing. Soon you’ll be all National Trust memberships, Saabs and Waitrose cards!’

She laughed and patted my arm. ‘I doubt it! Anyway, your life is great, you know it is. It makes me jealous to remember being able to book a last-minute holiday, head out for drinks on a weeknight or even leave the house without some military-style plan. Just don’t leave it too long till you join my club. I mean maybe Lazy-Eye Lorraine is right. This whole birth thing is just so bloody magical.’

We both broke into peals of laughter and picked up our pace to head back to hers for a steaming mug of tea and some chocolate Hobnobs. As we trudged down the muddy path to the main road I just wasn’t sure why I felt niggling doubts creeping in. I loved hanging out with my best friend but she did have a habit of speaking the truth; at times this dose of reality was hard to swallow. Maybe Marie was right, maybe I shouldn’t think about marrying Ben when there were so many unanswered questions between us.

All the talk of babies made me feel itchy, a feeling that made me realise I wasn’t ready for children, not just yet, but marriage wasn’t a complete no-no. Although maybe Marie was right: as loved up as I felt we had only just moved in together and were still discovering things about each other. Maybe I needed to silence the ding dong of wedding bells in my head and think rationally about what this engagement would mean for us and the changes it would cause. When things were going so well why did any of it have to change?

CHAPTER 4

Callow (adj.) – Immature or lacking adult sophistication

‘I still can’t believe you’re getting engaged!’ Shelley squealed.

I gave Marie a look.

‘What? I couldn’t not tell her.’ She put her arms up in defence.

‘Well, I’m not engaged yet,’ I said straightening my work skirt. ‘And please, please don’t mention it to Jimmy. I can’t have Ben finding out that I know and ruin the proposal he has planned.’ I winced.

Shelley placed my hands in hers and nodded firmly. ‘Scout’s honour. Ah, this is so exciting though! Where do you think you’ll get married? Ah, I know! What about Thailand? Where you met? I could just see the pair of you walking hand in hand down the white shores of Koh Lanta to tie the knot, then heading back to the Blue Butterfly for a knees-up after. I’m sure Dara would be thrilled to help out, plus Chef would make a fantastic wedding cake. Oh and then we could let off lanterns into the sky as you two have your first dance.’ She glanced at mine and Marie’s faces as if she’d missed the memo. ‘What? You don’t think it’s exciting?’

‘Yeah, course it is. I’m just a little wary after what happened last time.’ Since I’d left Marie’s I’d been thinking about what she’d said. She was right to be concerned. I did need to think with my heart and my head, rather than be blinded by the gorgeous ring that Ben was soon going to present to me.

‘Ah yeah, sure. But you two are made for each other. You can’t let the past rule your heart.’

I smiled at my Australian friend; we’d met when backpacking in Thailand and I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. ‘I know; I am pretty disgustingly loved up at the minute.’

‘Living together is going well then?’ Shelley winked. ‘Well, apart from your giant dining-room table.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Yeah, apart from that, it’s great!’

I still pinched myself that I had this amazing man as my boyfriend, plus I soon learned that Ben was well house-trained. This came as a shock as Alex had never used a vacuum cleaner or an iron before. He was spoilt by his mum who did everything and expected that his future wife would pick up the baton, which foolishly I did. Ben was so self-sufficient: cooking, doing the food shop without a list and detailed aisle plan of the supermarket, and even cleaning the bathroom without me pestering.

‘Wow, Jimmy can be such a slob, always leaving the loo seat up and used teabags near the bin. I sometimes threaten to not put out, which usually makes him slap on a pair of Marigolds!’ Shelley laughed. ‘Okay, so if Ben is thinking about marriage and you’re not totally averse to the idea then maybe you need to think of what’s missing to work out how you can get to the same level as him?’ Shelley suggested.

‘Yeah, like is there anything you want to know about him but don’t?’

‘Well, I haven’t met his dad yet, but it’s just because of logistics and finding the time, I think.’

‘Oh yeah, didn’t his mum abandon him?’ Marie remembered and clutched her chest at the thought.

‘Yeah.’ I shook my head sadly. ‘She left when he was little but I’ve never been able to get any more out of him than that.’

‘Well then, that’s something that needs to happen. You can tell so much about someone from what their parents are like, and what kind of relationship they have.’

‘Oh God, yeah! Remember when I was seeing that Shane?’ Marie asked me. Memories of being the third wheel as they sat snogging in a booth in a naff nightclub came rushing back.

‘Eurgh, I never liked him. Always thought he was a bit needy.’ I shuddered.

Marie raised her finger in the air. ‘Well, you were spot on, and it all stemmed from how he was with his mum. Seriously it was as if she was waiting to clamp him back on her breast whenever we went to his parents’ house. He was a complete mummy’s boy, and I don’t know about you, but that is such a turn-off. I swear he still kissed on the lips.’

‘Ewww!’ Shelley and I cried.

‘So that is why meeting your potential in-laws is so important.’

‘Okay, so after you’ve met his dad, then what?’

I scrunched my eyes up to think. ‘Well, I guess apart from meeting in Thailand we haven’t actually travelled anywhere together; all of our trips with work have been taken separately so we could cover the office.’

‘You have to do that! Anyway, you’ve got Conrad now – isn’t that what he’s there for, to watch the office whilst you two gallivant across the globe?’

I nodded slowly. Conrad was a blunt, brash Yorkshireman who we’d hired as office manager but seemed to turn his hand to anything that came his way, from consoling sobbing, heartbroken customers to standing his ground with surly maintenance men. He came highly recommended from another travel agency, had travelled the world in a previous life as cabin crew – which was something that I still couldn’t get my head round, especially how someone with his build could nip down the aisles without taking people’s eyes out. Plus, he loved to swear, made lewd and hilarious comments, which kept the team’s spirits high, and he called a spade a spade. He was the perfect addition to the ‘Lonely Hearts squad’, as Kelli called us.

Marie rearranged herself on the cushion she was sprawled across. ‘They say you never really know someone until you travel with them – he could be full of airport anxieties or one of those sunbed hoggers.’

I laughed. ‘I doubt Ben would be getting up at 4 a.m. to bagsy the best spot with his towel.’

‘Yeah, but you don’t know…’

Shelley began telling us about her friend whose holiday with her boyfriend ended in them breaking up over his wandering eye as he was more obsessed with the travel rep than his girlfriend. She had found them in bed together on the third day of the trip and had to spend the rest of the week eating with a kind, middle-aged Swedish couple who took her under their wing.

‘It can be a minefield. People think that when you go on holiday it will be this unrealistic romantic trip and all of the problems they had at home will disappear. The truth is, you bring them thousands of miles with you and they become even more magnified in this strange, unusual environment.’

‘But, if you can’t get along on some idyllic tropical beach when the only thing you have to worry about is applying more sun cream and which book to read next, then you won’t be able to get along anywhere. It is the ultimate test.’

I scoffed. ‘Yeah maybe, but Ben and I work together, we live together and we talk about travel all day, every day, so I honestly don’t think there will be any issues with us going on holiday.’

‘It could be good for you to get some time away to properly talk through all the London stuff that’s niggling you,’ Marie suggested.

I nodded. ‘Yeah, you’re both right. Our first couple’s holiday needs to be a priority on my to-do list. Oh, pass us a slice will you?’

I nodded to the pizza box on Shelley’s lap. Marie, Shelley and I were having a girly night in at Marie’s house. It was an impromptu night as I’d actually hoped I would be doing something with Ben. We’d hardly seen each other outside of work since dining-room-table-gate. We’d called a truce on it and both become skilled at literally – and figuratively – skirting around the thing.

‘So, where’s lover boy tonight?’ Shelley asked as if reading my mind. She was mid mouthful of pizza, the grease from the stuffed crust base glistening on her chin.

‘Out with a friend, I’m not sure where.’ I shrugged, picking off a rogue olive that had found its way onto my slice.

‘A friend?’ Shelley raised an eyebrow. ‘Well it’s not Jimmy as he’s taking some body blitz class in the gay village, which I know wouldn’t interest Ben in the slightest.’

‘He didn’t tell me where he was going, only that he was meeting up with an old friend as she’s just moved to Manchester.’

‘A she?’ Marie’s eyebrows were now at the same raised height as Shelley’s, both threatening to merge into their hairline. I nodded. ‘Your boyfriend, sorry, your soon-to-be fiancé has gone on a date with a girl you don’t know to a place you don’t know, and you’re okay with this?’

I rolled my eyes at the pair of them. ‘I trust him.’ Even after what had happened with Alex, I did trust Ben. It had taken a lot for me to get to this point, but we shared the most important thing in my life – our business – as well as our bedroom, and we wouldn’t have got this far without trust. ‘And it’s not a date. God, you two are so melodramatic sometimes!’

‘Yeah you might trust him, but are you not a little bit curious about her?’ Shelley had now finished off her slice and picked up my phone, like a woman on a mission. ‘Right, what’s her name?’

I laughed at the absurdity. ‘I’m not Facebook stalking her. I told you, I trust him.’

‘You’re not Facebook stalking, we are,’ Marie said, with her eyes alight at the prospect of some real-life gossip that wasn’t baby related. ‘Okay, name?’

They weren’t letting this go. They’d even paused an old episode of Sex and the City that had been on in the background to focus on the task in hand.

I sighed and closed my eyes, thinking. He’d only mentioned heading out in a passing comment, giving it as much thought as it probably deserved. But apparently, according to these two, these were things I was meant to get all psycho, bunny boiler on his ass about. This whole playing games thing was not something I was interested in; having a relationship and everything that comes with it in discovering each other’s boundaries was hard enough at times, let alone adding in this sort of crap.

‘You weren’t even a teensy bit intrigued to know more?’ Shelley pushed.

‘I honestly didn’t give it much thought. He mentioned it as we were both in-between speaking with clients, so I didn’t sit and analyse what he meant, no.’

‘I would have found out the girl’s bra size by the time he’d finished speaking,’ Marie said, without a hint of humour.

Maybe I should be more concerned, I began to think. Looking at their faces it seemed I should be taking this more seriously.

‘I don’t want to worry you or anything, but you did say that he’d been even quieter than usual recently,’ Marie piped up.

Damn, why did she have to have such an elephant memory? That was true, but I’d just put it down to him sulking over not being able to use a tape measure correctly or even that he had been silently plotting my elaborate proposal. Now I was worried.

‘Alice something,’ I said, suddenly remembering that when he had told me I’d thought it sounded like a pretty name.

‘Right, I’m on it,’ Shelley cried, automatically knowing my phone code and heading to the Facebook app, as Marie bit her bottom lip and rubbed her belly.

‘This is silly though, I mean, yeah he’s been a bit quieter recently –’

‘And you’ve been fighting about whether to open a London office or not,’ Marie called out.

‘Well, no, we haven’t been fighting.’ I turned to face her. ‘It’s just been a slight sticking point, that’s all, but it doesn’t mean he’s off having sex with old friends –’

‘Found her!’ Shelley grinned, forgetting that she wasn’t playing some TV quiz show but was actually digging up dirt on my own life. ‘Ah. Shit.’

‘What?’ I asked, craning my neck to see the phone screen. Marie gasped loudly and blocked my view as she leant forward to see what Shelley was pointing at. ‘What?!’

She slowly passed me my phone. Oh God. Alice was utterly gorgeous.

‘Whoa.’ Shelley gasped. ‘Stunner McStunnerson alert.’ She turned and gave me a sympathetic look at the shock on my face at realising that this potential Victoria’s Secret model whose face currently filled my phone screen was the ‘old friend’ my boyfriend was hanging out with. ‘But it’s fine, yes she may be the most attractive woman in the world without a Kardashian surname but you trust Ben, so it’s fine.’

‘Is this defo her?’ I asked slowly.

‘She’s the only Alice listed as Ben’s friend.’ Shelley winced.

Alice Sherman was stood leaning against a balcony railing with some exotic beach behind her. She had her head tilted back and what looked like a natural laugh escaping from her plump lips. Her eyes were scrunched up, lost in some joke between her and the photographer and her glossy brown hair was dancing in the breeze around her tanned shoulders. She was flawless and had curves in all the right places that were accentuated by the classy but not slutty peach-coloured chiffon dress she was wearing. She looked like the kind of girl you would take home to your mum but who would also be filth in the bedroom. Great.

I stared at her profile picture for longer than was necessary, mentally beating myself up as I compared my own body with hers. I already knew which one I’d prefer to be hanging out with if I had a penis.

‘Maybe that’s just a really good angle – everyone always puts their best shot as their profile picture.’ Marie tried to look on the positive side.

‘Check out her other photo albums!’ Shelley said, as I scrolled my finger across the page. ‘Thank the Lord for people who don’t set their accounts to the highest privacy settings.’

Alice’s other albums were a collection of tagged images, old holiday shots and nights out with her friends where she looked more natural but still disgustingly gorgeous.

‘Yep, she may be the person I would want to swap my face with if I ever had a horrific car crash,’ I admitted. ‘But it still doesn’t mean that anything dodgy is going on with her and Ben.’

Not wanting to look at any more photos and send my self-esteem plummeting even further, I put my phone on the coffee table. Marie instantly snatched it back up and began scrolling as Shelley topped up my glass and listened to me going on about how much I trusted my boyfriend.

‘Wait!’ Marie cried, interrupting me.

Shelley and I both snapped our heads up in unison to look at her.

‘What?’ I asked, feeling a strange tingling rush up my arms as she passed my phone back.

‘Alice isn’t just an old friend…’ she paused dramatically ‘…she’s his ex-girlfriend.’

I waited for the page to upload as fast as I was scrolling down and saw what she’d been looking at. Right at the bottom were a couple of much older albums with a younger, grinning Alice wrapped around a clean-shaven and youthful Ben. My Ben. In other images they were holding hands and kissing as a friend with spiked-up hair did the peace sign as he photobombed the young couple. I felt a funny, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Why was my boyfriend meeting up with his ex, and why hadn’t he told me?

‘Oh,’ Shelley said, a tiny bit relieved that her boyfriend was working out with a bunch of gay men rather than reminiscing about old times with this worldie.

‘Oh crap!’ I yelped.

‘What?’ Marie leant forward and knocked my glass with her tummy, sloshing wine onto my legs.

‘I accidently pressed like on the photo of her at an elephant sanctuary!’ I panicked.

‘Quick! Click unlike. Click UNLIKE!’ Marie gasped.

‘I am,’ I wailed, but the screen had frozen and now I wasn’t sure what I’d done. ‘Oh God, can she see that I liked it?’ I felt woozy at the thought.

Shelley grabbed my phone off me to check. ‘It’s fine, you haven’t liked it. Well you did, but it isn’t showing now and she’ll only know if she was online right then. But as you’re not friends with her we won’t know for certain. She probably won’t have been though.’

‘Probably…’ That didn’t fill me with much confidence. She probably won’t be online as she will probably be making out with my boyfriend for old time’s sake, my subconscious whispered.

‘Don’t worry, here have some more wine,’ Shelley said, topping up my glass. ‘Just try not to think about it. He’s going to propose to you for goodness’ sake!’

I nodded and wanted to change the conversation. ‘Yep, you’re right. So, erm, how are things with you?’ I asked Shelley, trying to get Ben out of my head. Since when had I turned into this jealous, anxious girlfriend? It was not a look that fitted well.

She scrunched her face up. ‘Well, I actually have some news of my own…’

There was a silence as she trailed out, pulled her hand away, and began busying with unscrewing the wine top. Marie was suddenly engrossed in picking off a piece of skin around her nail bed as if she knew something I didn’t. Shelley turned to face me and took a deep breath. ‘I wasn’t sure how to tell you this.’

When anyone utters those words you know the next part of the sentence ain’t going to be pretty. A chill danced along my spine as she glanced over at Marie and swallowed.

‘Shel? You’re both freaking me out. What’s going on?’

‘Georgia. I’m going to be moving back to Australia. To live. Permanently.’

The world stopped still for a second.

‘What?! You’re leaving? You and Jimmy?’ My eyes flickered across her face, desperate for her to break into her signature grin and tell me she was joking. But her expression remained sober and slightly pale.

‘Yep. I’ve been offered a job back home and Jimmy can head over on a visa. He’s already got interviews lined up for some personal trainer work so we can look at making it permanent, or possibly we get married ourselves…’

‘Oh wow. Erm, that’s great news.’ I paused to let this all sink in.

She winced and picked up her wine glass. ‘The other thing is, because of these jobs we’re going to be going soon. Like, in a month.’

‘No! A MONTH! Did you know?’ I turned to Marie who blatantly did judging by her pinched expression.

Shelley jumped in to save Marie from answering. ‘I was worried at how you’d take it. I wanted to ask Marie for her advice before I told you as she’s known you for so long,’ Shelley blustered.

I sat back in my chair feeling disappointed that my two best friends had had to confide in each other on about how to handle me taking big, stupid, life-changing news like this.

‘Right. I mean…wow. Shel, I’m chuffed for you!’ I said a few moments later, probably taking longer to say it than I should have done. ‘This is SO exciting!’

‘You sure?’ she asked, pulling out of the hug I’d grabbed her in as I tried to pretend I was embracing her when really I needed a moment to gather my thoughts on her shoulder.

‘Course. I mean, this is great news. Who wouldn’t want to go and live in Australia? Wow. How exciting, really, this is great.’ I then let out this strangled laugh that matched my high-pitched voice. ‘This is great. We should have champagne!’ I announced, getting to my feet and suddenly wanting to get some fresh air. ‘I’ll head to the shop right now!’

‘Georgia. Are you sure you’re okay?’

‘Positive! We need to celebrate! Ha ha, look at you two. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. More than fine,’ I babbled, rummaging through my handbag for my purse. Where the hell was it? For fuck’s sake.

‘Georgia,’ Marie said firmly, placing a hand on the arm that was desperately tearing through my bag. ‘Just chill out a moment.’

‘I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? I mean, look at you all blossoming and yummy mummy and then look at Shel going to live thousands of miles away and then look at me and…and…’ It was too late. The tears were falling as the enormity of the situation hit me. I was losing my two best friends to real life when I still wasn’t sure of the direction mine was heading.

‘Aww, hon, come here.’ Shelley tried to put her arm round me but I shrugged it off and roughly wiped my eyes.

‘I’m fine. Fine. Honestly. Although have we got any more wine?’ I said, a little softer. ‘I’m just being silly.’

‘You’re clearly not fine.’ Marie shook her head. ‘There might be a bottle in the drinks cupboard in the kitchen. I’ve no idea how long it’s been there as I’ve not had nice booze in the house since being pregnant.’

I glanced at the almost empty wine bottle we’d brought with us. ‘Oh, okay. Well then, who fancies one of Georgia’s special cocktails?’ I asked, jumping to my feet. Neither of them joined in.

Soon I was back in the lounge holding a glass of Georgia’s Special Cocktail that I’d rustled up in super quick time, which was basically a concoction of the dregs of a Baileys bottle and some green alcoholic syrup I’d found in the back of Marie’s cupboard. It was the best of what was available, you know the stuff you accumulate over the years after parties, for recipes, or over the festive season but never get through – as who the hell ever finds themselves craving a glass of Advocaat? But I didn’t care. Judging by the time those bottles had been in that dusty drinks cupboard, the alcohol must have tripled in strength, as it was strooooonnnggg and exactly what I needed.

‘You’re both missing out!’ I said taking a long gulp. It did not taste good. ‘So, Australia, wow, tell me all!’ I managed, wanting to make conversation and purposefully ignoring their sceptical faces that I clearly wasn’t as fine as I was insisting that I was.

‘Well, I was originally just going to head there myself and Jimmy would join me when he could, but then we thought, well why not just go together. I’ve already handed my notice in and Jimmy is winding down his contracts as we get things sorted.’

‘Ben will be crushed,’ I breathed. Jimmy had been his best friend for years. It wasn’t just me who was losing out. ‘When is he telling him?’

Shelley ran her finger over the rim of her now empty wine glass. ‘He’s already told him.’

‘Wait – Ben knows and didn’t think to tell me?!’ Well this news had just got a whole lot shittier.

‘I think Jimmy asked Ben not to tell you until I’d had the chance to speak with you. I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else.’ Her cheeks had flushed as she spoke. Marie shifted in her seat. I wasn’t sure if it was the baby pressing against her bladder or this uncomfortable atmosphere.

‘Oh. Right.’ We weren’t celebrating. We should be commiserating the end of an era. ‘Well, at least it shows Ben is good at keeping secrets, ha!’ A bark of fake laughter escaped.

‘All men have some secrets, just like us women. The point is that as long as they don’t hurt each other then it’s okay. I mean, you do love Ben, don’t you?’ Marie asked out of the blue.

‘What is love?’ I asked stretching my arms out and sloshing some of my special cocktail on the sofa cushion. ‘Baby, don’t hurt me!’ I finished Haddaway’s 90s’ song lyrics with a dramatic flourish and cracked myself up.

‘You do need to speak to him about it all though, babe,’ Marie said, ignoring the signs that my cocktail was kicking in.

‘I know, just not right now,’ I muttered sticking my tongue as far as it would go into my glass.

My best friend was soon to give life to another human being, my other best friend was starting a new life down under with her doting boyfriend, whereas mine was currently on a date with his stunning ex-girlfriend. Plus, he knew Shelley’s Australian bombshell and hadn’t prewarned me. But then again I’d found the ring he was going to propose to me with, so why did this matter? Even in my happiest moments, when I knew I had achieved and experienced things not a lot of people would do in a lifetime, I would still feel those crushing dark thoughts tap at my mind that I was missing out on what others had. That I had been left behind in some way. I always thought that – if things had previously gone to plan – by now I would have had a baby with Alex, that we would have celebrated our wedding anniversary and maybe even added an en-suite bathroom to our house.

When he’d called it off I’d been faced with an alternative to what I guess is the ‘pre-packaged’ idea of how you are supposed to live your life with the husband, children and mortgage. My life was now focused on growing my business, getting to see the world, building a future with Ben and doing the things that made me happy. I fluctuated between feeling unsure that I wanted to follow the traditional path, as it hurt me so much last time, yet eager not to miss out on what deep down I desperately wanted – a loving husband, a healthy child and a place to call home. I guess settling down doesn’t mean you have to settle. I felt an excitable tickle in my stomach when I thought about the upcoming proposal from Ben and how honoured I would feel at him getting down on one knee. So then why was I suddenly so unsure? And how could he be on a date with his ex if he was about to ask me to marry him? What was he playing at? It was all so confusing, and my strong cocktail wasn’t helping me think straight.

Once I’d drank all the booze, including two more special Georgia cocktails, and decided it would be hilarious to use Marie’s birthing ball as a prop in my version of Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball video, it was time to call it a night. Shelley was meeting Jimmy at his gym once he’d finished his late night class so I left Marie’s in a fug of hugs and cocktail breath, and ordered an Uber to take me home.

‘All right, love? Good night?’ The shaven-headed, plump driver asked as I slipped into the back of his Corsa.

‘No. Not really. I’ve just found out that my best friend is moving ten thousand miles away and my other friend knew and didn’t warn me. Plus, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his ex-girlfriend on the sly and I drank some nasty cocktails and now have heartburn to go with my heartache.’

‘Oh.’ He drew in a breath and sucked his teeth; he turned down the radio station he’d been listening to. ‘That’s going to hurt.’

Realising that I had an impartial and sympathetic listener I then proceeded to tell him everything that had happened over the past few hours in drunken, inane detail. By the time he pulled up at my flat I felt like that old woman from Titanic who’d taken a four-hour film to explain one life event.

‘And that is why, even with all this going on,’ I slurred, waving my hand into thin air and whacking my wrist into his headrest by accident. ‘Even with this, I’m still going to be fine. Fine.’

He flashed me a look of relief as I stumbled out of his car. I eventually made it inside my flat after struggling to get my key in my front door and turn the handle at the same time. But when I realised Ben wasn’t home yet, I felt a heavy weight press on my shoulders.

I was going to be fine, but today, today was not that day.

CHAPTER 5

Auspicious (adj.) – Attended by good fortune; prosperous

I was battling through storm Bertha, or whatever the weather presenters had named this one, as I made my way from the warmth of our shop to go to a lunch meeting. Luckily, I knew the person I was meeting quite well, otherwise they would have taken one glance at the drowned rat look I seemed to have adopted and called off any business arrangement right then and there. My umbrella was probably doing more harm than good as I gripped the handle with my icy hands, finding it hard to breathe as cold gusts choked my throat.

I’d called him earlier as I glanced out of the window at the apocalyptic street scene to see about changing the date of this meeting, but he was adamant that we had to meet today, the sooner the better he’d said. I was now rushing behind schedule to meet Rahul, the part-time tour guide who I’d met when I’d travelled to India. He was back in Manchester and had booked us a table in Rocco, a fancy Spanish restaurant that had recently opened not far from the bank, so at least I could nip in there and do some business admin and not feel so guilty about being out of the office for what would basically be a gossip session with a friend.

I half tumbled into the elegant room, which was full of white, starched-linen tablecloths, industrial steel and exposed brickwork, with splashes of deep red and blood orange. It was less quaint, Mediterranean tapas, and more hipster, Brooklyn loft. The large glass door slammed shut behind me, making the other diners turn and tut at the wild-haired woman with watering eyes and wind-slapped cheeks who’d stumbled in with all the grace of a charging rhino.

‘Good afternoon, do you have a reservation?’ The maître d’ asked, able to hide his look of disgust on his Botoxed features.

‘Georgia!’

I was saved from having to reply as Rahul strode over and pulled me into an enveloping hug, filling my nose with citrus aftershave.

‘You made it! Come in and let’s get you warmed up.’ He nodded his thanks to the maître d’ whose face lit up like the Blackpool Illuminations at being so close to this demi god. Subtle, mate, real subtle. Although, to be fair, Rahul was a hottie. There was no denying it. Wearing a tight but perfectly fitted pale grey suit and white shirt that could have been starched along with the tablecloths, he was a sight for sore eyes. His head of thick, dark hair only offset his tanned complexion and made his light-olive eyes appear even brighter. He did not look like he had been out in the same weather that I just had, more like he had teleported himself in, as not a hair was out of place.

‘Sit down, sit down.’ He pulled out a chair for me as I flinched at the heat coming back to my frozen body. My fingertips started to tingle and I felt the colour rush to my glacial cheeks. ‘So, how are you?’

‘Cold, windswept, but happy to see you again! It’s been ages,’ I said, winding my scarf from around my neck, managing to almost choke myself in the process. Classy, Georgia, really classy.

‘I know I know, but better late than never, hey?’ He flashed a pearly white smile. ‘So how’s everything going at work? The last time I saw you was when that article about you and what happened with the Indian tour had just come out.’ He shook his head in disbelief at how much time had passed since then. ‘What was it? Farting during a yoga class?’

‘Yeah, my “unusual management technique”,’ I said, indicating air quotes with my fingers and laughing. ‘Although it seems to have paid off, as we’re doing really well, thanks.’

I still couldn’t believe just how much our profits had risen since that, and subsequent, media coverage. The power of the press. At the time I had been beside myself, preparing for the absolute worst, thinking the stinging poison pen of journalist Chris Kennings would damage our brand beyond recognition and put us out of business. I mean, I did fart on the poor fella; what else did I expect from a ruthless national journalist to get his own back?

Thankfully, the review was mostly positive and had since led to increased bookings in nearly all of our tours. If I was honest, it really had been the catalyst for our sudden growth, allowing us to take on Conrad and, seeing our healthy bank balance, had planted the seed of the potential London expansion in Ben’s mind.

‘Crazy how things work out. The moments you dread the most can turn out to be the ones that make you,’ I mused, shaking my head.

‘Well, however it came about, it is still amazing news!’ He chinked his glass to mine.

We ordered from an eager young waitress, who was nailing the fishtail-plait look and was as unsubtle as the maître d’ in swooning over Rahul. As soon as the braided beauty had simpered away to give the chef our order, Rahul unbuttoned his suit jacket and leant forward.

‘How about Ben? How’s he?’

I spluttered on my drink, causing the liquid to go down the wrong hole, and coughed ungracefully. ‘Excuse me. Erm, yeah, he’s fine. Great.’ I thought back to the last few days; he’d never mentioned his evening out with his ex, Amazing Alice, and I hadn’t known how to bring it up without him knowing that I’d been snooping.

Rahul began telling me about this model named Marli he had started seeing. ‘Hence I wanted to meet you for lunch. I’m desperate to go out for a meal with a girl who actually enjoys decent scran.’ His eyes creased up.

‘I guess I’ll take that as a compliment,’ I said, taking a bite of crusty bread weighed down with salty butter, suddenly very aware of how many glorious calories I was about to ingest.

He laughed. ‘You should, seriously. Marli is great and we’re having a lot of fun.’ He winked. ‘But, man, dating a model is tough.’

‘Oh, poor you,’ I said, with my mouth full on purpose. ‘Excuse me while I get out my violin.’

He let out a deep roar of a laugh. ‘Yeah, yeah, I know, woe is me. I hadn’t realised just how much work it takes to look that good. I keep telling her that eating carbs after 4 p.m. won’t mean she’ll wake up like the Nutty Professor – not that she listens.’ He wiped his mouth with a napkin and took a sip of water before continuing. ‘Obviously, being able to stuff my face with the finest Argentinian steak was only part one of my plan in meeting you today. I also have a very exciting proposal for you,’ he said, baring his perfectly straight, white teeth.

‘Don’t tell me it involves sadhus?’ I smiled, thinking back to when we were in India together and he’d encouraged us to ask three wise men wearing hardly any clothes for a blessing for our future. Instead of bestowing their years of knowledge and imparting their wisdom on me, one of the long-haired dudes had hacked up a load of phlegm at my feet. I guess actions do speak louder than words sometimes.

‘Hey, that was a blessing in disguise!’ Rahul let out a heavy laugh. ‘I mean, maybe that was the key to you becoming so successful, all because of a holy sadhu clearing his throat.’

‘Er, yeah, maybe.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘So, go on. What’s this “project” that was so urgent for you to see me about?’

Rahul leaned closer and lowered his voice. ‘So, you know that as well as giving tours in Mumbai I also live the glamorous life of a TV producer…?’

‘Yeah.’ I’d picked up another piece of bread and dipped it into the dish of glassy oil that dribbled down my chin after I’d taken a bite. Bugger.

‘Well, as part of this I get to attend pitch meetings for new television shows that are hoping to be commissioned.’

‘Mmhmm…’ I was struggling to see what point he was trying to get to here, as I was too busy dabbing the greasy oil stain from the front of my blouse with the napkin I’d sloshed with water.

‘One programme that has been the talk of the boardroom is called Wanderlust Warriors.’ He paused, presumably to build drama. ‘This show that’s got everyone buzzing in the office is actually inspired by you and Ben.’

‘Wait, what?’ I looked up from the growing wet patch I’d created, causing more damage than good, to catch his eyes that had creased into a genuine smile while waiting for my reaction. Rahul laughed at what must have been the most idiotic, blank expression I was rocking on my face.

‘I may have told you a little white lie earlier. I’ve known how well Lonely Hearts is doing because my team have been watching you grow, especially since that piece in the Daily Times.’

‘What are you on about, watching us?’

He held his palms up. ‘Don’t look at me like that! Not in a weird sense. Just that because of your success story there has been talk of putting together a show that documents couples who work together in or around the travel industry who are poised to become the next big thing in the industry. A sort of inspirational piece that looks at the highs and lows of managing a business and a relationship at the same time, mixed with globetrotting.’ He took a long sip of his drink. ‘And you and Ben were the reason for this idea, the spark that started it all.’

‘Oh, right, okay, cool.’ I felt myself blushing. I’d never been called inspirational before.

‘The show will not only be about mixing work and pleasure but also about how travel has impacted these couples’ lives, as the contributors all work in the travel industry or use travel a lot for work reasons.’ He paused to flash a genuine smile to the waitress who placed our plates in front of us and shimmied off, obviously for Rahul’s benefit but it had been lost as he was currently making love with his eyes to the hunk of red meat on his plate.

‘Sounds exciting!’ I smiled at him. ‘Wow, this food looks amazing.’

‘I know! Right, let me get to my point.’ He pulled his eyes away from the delicious-smelling dead cow and back to my face. ‘So, where was I? Oh yeah, the show will also follow this travel theme as the filming is going to take place in South America, Chile specifically, I think.’

‘Ooh wow. When will it be on? I hardly ever watch telly these days but that sounds right up my street.’

Rahul flicked his head back and let out a light laugh. ‘Georgia. You won’t just get to watch it; we want you and Ben to be on it.’

‘Wait, what?’ The chunky chip I’d speared on my fork paused just before my open mouth.

‘They want you, along with three other couples, to take part. You get an all-expenses-paid trip just speaking to the camera about how you manage your work and relationship. Plus, there’s a cash prize up for grabs at the end of it all for taking part in some fun games along the way!’

I started to laugh. ‘Hahaha, funny. Oh. Wait. You’re serious?’

His face had dropped as if he didn’t get the joke.

‘Rahul. You’re serious? You want Ben and me to be on the telly?’

Rahul nodded. I stopped fanning my hands in front of my face and choked down the giggles.

‘Er, I really don’t know.’

‘Think about the publicity this could drum up for The Lonely Hearts Travel Club! I can see the headlines now…. Wanderlust Warriors Take On The World.’

That did sound pretty good, to be fair.

‘Georgia, your story is really inspiring, how you have turned a negative experience into a hugely positive one, and found love and a cracking business model along the way. Ever since that article you’ve been the talk of the industry and people want to know the secret to your success.’

I scoffed without thinking. ‘There is no secret. Hard work, determination and sacrifice is what it’s taken,’ I said quietly, thinking back to when Ben and I had nearly lost everything – including each other – when Serena stole from us and the Indian tour looked like it was about to ruin us.

‘Exactly. But people love to hear stories like this; sometimes good news does sell. Trust me. Plus, it means you both get to go to South America, which is such a stunning part of the world. Have you even been away as a couple yet?’

I shook my head thinking about the couple’s holiday idea that Marie and Shelley had suggested. ‘Hmm, well what would we need to do? Hypothetically speaking, of course.’ Oh my God, was I even entertaining this idea? Ooh, I wondered if there would be a hair and make-up artist included.

‘Of course, hypothetically speaking.’ He pressed his hand to his broad chest and winked. ‘Well, the first thing would be to get both of you to London where the head office is for pre-filming interviews. That’s where you’d meet the producers in charge of the show, find out some more about the concept, get to know the other couples and decide if you’re up for it or not.’

I thought this all over as I chewed on a chip. ‘Do you know who the other couples are?’

He shook his head. ‘Don’t think they’ve been confirmed. I know that you and Ben are top of the list because you were the inspiration behind the show, but there’s a long list of potential contributors as it’s such a great premise. That’s why I needed to see you today and to let you know to act fast if you think you and Ben would be up for it. Also, have you not seen the weather here? If someone was giving me the option of jetting off to the sun, all for free, with my partner, well I wouldn’t have to think twice.’

He had a point. This storm Bertha was beginning to get to me. What he was proposing sounded too good to be true. An all-expenses-paid trip to South America in return for doing some interviews, probably on a white sandy beach or while taking a salsa class. Ooh, I wondered if I could wear a flamenco dress, and I could so see Ben dressed as a hunky Latino stallion. Minus the heavy gold chains and love-rug chest hair.

‘Well, why don’t you have a word with Ben and then let me know?’

I nodded slowly. ‘Yeah, all right.’

‘Ace. Right, now leave me in peace to give this meat the attention it deserves.’

After finishing our plates, both of them almost licked clean, Rahul got up from his seat and nodded to the lingering young waitress so that he could pay for our lunch. Amazingly, it seemed like big Bertha had gone for a nap as even the heavy dark clouds had floated off slightly.

‘Have a think about everything and give me a call, Georgia,’ he said, before gently kissing me on the cheek and filling my nose with his expensive-smelling aftershave. ‘You more than anyone should know that you have to say yes to things in this life. I honestly think this would be the ideal chance to grab an opportunity that hardly anyone gets offered.’

I nodded distractedly.

‘Right, I’d better be off. Call me as soon as you’ve decided.’ With that we said our goodbyes and he headed off in the opposite direction.

I was just about to make my way back to the office when I realised that I’d left my umbrella in the restaurant. Even though the downpour had stopped, I didn’t trust my chances that the heavens wouldn’t open once more. I turned to head back inside when I saw that right next door was an art gallery.

Large colourful canvases hung in the windows lit by uplighters that brought to life the bright swirls of yellow and orange paint of the stunning paintings. The main three pieces of art were clearly from a collection by the same artist. One was a painting of a wrinkled and grinning old woman in Peru with a chubby arm casually slung around a gurning llama; another was a close-up of a glamorous, busty lady with an incredible afro shaking what her mother gave her at Rio Carnival, wearing a barely there but intricately beaded costume in the colours of a peacock feather; and the third and the largest was of a city scene that appeared to be made of bright and wonky Playmobil buildings, tagged in graffiti print ‘Valparaíso, Chile’.

I pressed my nose closer to the glass to read the small glinting plaque attached to a stand.

‘Jose Vasquez’s collection has been inspired by the artist’s journey through South America, where he felt compelled to replicate the colours, flavours and ambiance of this fascinating part of the world.’

I couldn’t contain the smile trying to escape. This was a sign.

I rummaged in my pocket to grab my mobile and quickly dialled Ben’s number. He answered in a few rings.

‘Hey there, beautiful, how was your lunch? I hope you’re bringing me back a doggy bag?’

‘Ah sorry! No doggy bag, but I can go one better.’

‘Oh yeah? Wait, why do you sound so excited?’

‘Well, because I’ve just been offered the chance for both of us to take an all-expenses-paid trip to South America!’ I squealed. Despite working in the travel industry we rarely received perks, unless you counted the stacks of branded luggage tags or passport covers piled in the bottom drawer of my desk. Somehow the ‘Don’t be flighty, get your life insurance plan sorted first’ fountain pen didn’t have the same gravitas as this potential freebie.

‘What?’ He let out a confused laugh.

‘Rahul works for a TV company who want to send us, along with some other couples, to Chile for some documentary they’re filming on people who work together in the travel industry. He said that everything will be paid for, we get time to travel and explore, just in return for doing a short interview or something!’ That was what he’d said, wasn’t it? Well I’m sure that was the gist of it.

Ben started to laugh. ‘Did this lunch turn into a boozy one? You want us to be stars on the small screen?’

I nodded down the line, still keeping my eyes trained on the stunning art in front of me before realising that Ben couldn’t see me. ‘Yep! How amazing is this? We can promote the business and take our first holiday together. I’m sure from what Rahul said the filming part of it all will be so minimal we could get it done in a day or so and then head off to finally travel together!’

There was a strange silence on the phone as Ben thought it over. I could hear Conrad’s booming laugh in the background at something.

‘Ben? You still there?’

‘Yeah, yeah, sorry, G. Erm, wow. It sounds amazing and I don’t want to be a party pooper but how are we going to manage everything going on with the business if both of us are taking time off?’

My heart sank. He was right. Maybe I was getting totally carried away with Rahul’s enthusiasm.

‘Well, the show will be going ahead with or without us, as they have other couples lined up. If we don’t take them up on it then we’ll miss out,’ I said. ‘And now we have Conrad, I’m sure he can handle things for a couple of weeks without us. And think of the PR opportunity! They’ve asked us to go to London for some pre-filming meeting thing to discuss things further. We’d be under no obligation to take it any further; it’s just to get some more details on it all…’ I trailed out and began chewing my lip. Come on, Ben.

He let out a breath he’d been holding. ‘Ahhh…okay. Let’s at least go and hear what they’ve got to say, hey?’

‘Eeeee! Okay!’ I did a little jig.

‘It’s never boring with you, Georgia, that’s all I can say.’ He laughed. ‘Right, get yourself back here before I change my mind.’

As soon as I’d hung up I hurriedly dialled Rahul’s number to tell him we were in. This was going to be the start of a whole new adventure; I could just feel it.

CHAPTER 6

Vagary (n.) – An erratic, unpredictable or extravagant manifestation, action or notion

Once we had agreed to at least look into Rahul’s offer by heading down to London to meet the producers of the show, I’d been unable to get the conversation I’d had with Marie and Shelley out of my head. A trip to Chile would be the perfect opportunity for us to talk, and for me to make sure I was one hundred per cent on the same page as Ben. Maybe he’d even make use of the opportunity to propose? If Ben so obviously thought we were there, then surely I should too? It was definitely time I met his family.

Just this morning as we’d been rushing to get ready I’d brought up the possibility of popping in to see his dad whilst we were down in London. He had met my parents enough times and they liked him as much as I did, but it was starting to feel one-sided. Previously Marie and Shelley had told me that I needed to just let him go at his own pace, that he was just a typical man and that putting off learning all about him – warts and all – for as long as possible meant the dewy-eyed shine would last longer. But finding the engagement ring had changed all of that. The other night at Marie’s house had been a sort of wake-up call that I needed to get some answers to my questions before we even thought of getting married.

When I’d broached the subject of meeting his dad as I brushed my teeth this morning I’d just got a noncommittal, ‘yeah, maybe’ answer, but I swore that as he said it his face clouded with a look of worry, or was it something more than that? Oh God, maybe I was being paranoid after having a not-so-rosy experience of Alex’s family. Ben’s not going to have any potential psycho family members, trust him. You know and love his godmother, Trisha, and if she’s anything to go by then you could soon be able to inherit the in-laws of your dreams! I told myself.

We arrived in London on time and caught a cab to the production team’s head office in Hoxton. I felt my tummy whirl with excitement at what the pre-show filming would involve; it already sounded so glamorous! Marie, being a part-time actress, had been giving us tips, telling us to wear something smart and business-like with no stripes or bright colours for the cameras. Hence I was now teetering down a cobbled courtyard to the head office that was in a complex of old converted stables, wearing my #girlboss black heels that gave me blisters but looked amazing with the deep green jumper dress I had on.

Ben looked super class in his thick woollen coat and the cable-knit scarf that brought out the colour of his eyes. If this went well we could soon be losing all these extra layers and feeling the heat from the sun and I could ditch the one hundred denier tights that were currently the only thing preventing me from developing frostbite.

‘After you.’ Ben winked, holding open the heavy barn door for me. I gave a small curtsey and laughed, before suddenly stopping at the commotion going on inside the open-plan office we’d stumbled into.

There were people everywhere; small meeting rooms seemed to shoot off down bright corridors like clavicles on a heart. Phones were ringing, people were shouting, TV screens were playing some dance music video with three very orange women gyrating in tiny string bikinis. I must have taken a step back into Ben who was gawping at this lively scene with a similarly shocked expression.

Rahul had said it was a low-budget, small TV company, so I’d expected to meet maybe one or two people in a coffee shop or something equally as chilled. I hadn’t expected to be dropped in the media equivalent of the Wall Street trading floor on uppers. We were barked at to move out of the way by three harassed men in baggy black T-shirts and scuffed Converse trainers as they pushed large cameras on tracks past us, while a young woman about the same age as Kelli was concentrating on not dropping a stupidly full tray of teas and coffees, and a pack of hipsters with matching beards and spotty red bow ties were sitting at a round table typing furiously on gleaming Apple Macs.

‘Erm, Ben? Is this the right place?’ I whispered, wanting him to put his arms round me and reassure me that this hadn’t all been a huge mistake. He didn’t get the chance to do this or even answer me as a grinning, chubby man danced over and planted himself in front of us. He literally pirouetted to a standstill and put out a fleshy pink hand as he smiled at us expectantly.

‘Let me guess…’ He twirled a finger that had a tattoo of a moustache down one side. ‘Georgia…’ I nodded. His clean-shaven face broke into a bigger smile, making him look like a plump version of the Joker. ‘I knew it! And that means you must be…’ He pressed his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes, deep in thought. ‘Ben?’

‘Hi, yep, that’s right,’ Ben said. His voice sounded deeper and more manly than normal, in contrast to the high-pitched, camp dancer who was clapping his hands together like a hyperactive seal as if he’d just guessed which box held the £250,000 on Deal or No Deal.

‘Awesome! Welcome, welcome. My name is Blaise; Rahul has told me SO much about you both!’ He started walking off and nodded his head for us to follow him. We nervously glanced at each other and picked up our pace so as not to get separated. Blaise turned back to me and put a hand up against his mouth and said loudly. ‘By the way, can Rahul, like, be any hotter?’ He wiped his brow and pretended to faint before letting out a bark of a laugh that made me jump.

‘Oh, erm, well…’ I stuttered. Ben hadn’t actually met Rahul yet and I may not have told him just how handsome he was. Of course, I knew that he trusted me, but there was no point rocking the boat by telling him I was having lunch with a buff Indian god. But I hadn’t forgotten to mention whether my stunning friend was an ex, unlike Ben when he went out with Alice, I huffed inside.

Luckily Blaise didn’t go on to drool over Rahul any more and just waved manically at a woman at the other end of the room who was on the phone. This didn’t put him off as he yelled loudly, ‘I’ve got Georgia and Ben here! You know, the jilted bride, and her new man!’

‘Oh, well, that’s not really what the story is,’ I said, feeling my face grow flushed.

Blaise turned to face me with a look of surprise. ‘Ah now, darlin’, that is right isn’t it? Your business all came about because you were dumped before your big day?’

He pronounced that word as if spitting out a wasp’s sting.

I nodded. ‘Yeah, but that’s not why we’re here today.’ I couldn’t bear to look at Ben, knowing how humiliated he must feel that he had just been referred to as my ‘new man’ rather than the invaluable business partner and half the brains behind The Lonely Hearts Travel Club that he really was. I felt for his wounded pride and was determined for Blaise to get this.

‘My past relationship doesn’t have anything to do with why we’re here. Rahul told us that this show is going to focus on our business, so we can share advice with others.’ I tried to say it in my most forceful way, despite Alan Carr’s hyperactive younger twin manically grinning back at me.

Blaise wafted his hands and let out a giggle. ‘Sure! Course. Right, come on. We need to get you both set up. Ben, if you could go with Anna here.’ As if by magic, a glamorous and jaw-droppingly gorgeous woman in a clingy wrap dress, with shiny blonde swishy hair cut into a cute long bob, was by our side. She guided Ben off with one swoop of her clipboard and flick of a tanned wrist. I didn’t get the chance to even say good luck or ask what was happening as Blaise then led me down a corridor and shooed me into a darker but thankfully quieter room.

‘Here we go. Just in here,’ he said, looking at his chunky plastic watch at the same time.

‘Oh… I…’ I stuttered before he winked and shut the door. What the hell was going on?

‘Georgia?’ A man’s voice with a soft Scottish lilt startled me, making me spin round to locate the source. The voice was coming from behind a large, kidney-shaped desk, and hidden behind three ginormous computer screens was a man in his mid-fifties peering down his wiry spectacles at me. His thick beard was peppered with greys, less London hipster and more kindly grandfather, and his lips had curled into a wide smile through this bushy facial hair. ‘Come and take a seat.’

He wafted his hand at the two sofas and got up to sit on one himself. ‘I take it you’ve been offered a cup of tea?’

I shook my head and stayed planted in the same position. He sighed and rolled his eyes heavenwards. ‘I am sorry about that. Those kids out there have lost the art of good manners. Unless it comes with a whizzy app or a hashtag, they’re not interested.’ He shook his head at the youth of today and picked up a phone on the cluttered desk.

I smiled, starting to warm to this man who looked like a funky Father Christmas in his checked shirt and Levi’s.

‘Hello, Dana, can we get a cup of…’ He glanced up at me to get my order.

‘Tea please. No sugar,’ I said, finally finding my voice.

‘Make that two cups of tea, no sugar. Thanks.’ He replaced his phone and pointed to the sofas again. ‘Please take a seat as we wait for our drinks. You can take your coat off if you like; it’s bitter outside today, isn’t it? Although, thank goodness that snow didn’t last as long as everyone was expecting it to. Oh, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself! My name’s Jerry, by the way.’ He stretched out a thick, rough palm. His hands looked like they’d actually been used to a day’s hard work, unlike the soft, pudgy palms of Blaise.

‘Hi. Georgia. Nice to meet you. Sorry if I seem a little lost, I’ve never been to a TV studio before and I didn’t really have any idea of what one would be like,’ I admitted, awkwardly shrugging off my coat.

Jerry laughed, reminding me of Rahul. I could see the two of them working together. ‘Oh well then, let me welcome you to the head office of See Me TV. Out in the cattle yard, as I like to call it, is where you’ve got PR, marketing, sales, web design and all these jobs that go over my head. I’ve been working in TV for the past thirty years and back then it was nothing like this performance it seems today.’ He rubbed his beard and sighed. ‘But things change.’ A knock at the door made him pause as he gratefully took two steaming mugs of tea from a woman wearing a thick fluffy jumper that had dog paw prints embroidered over each large breast. ‘Thanks, Dana.’

Dana blushed and dipped her head before scurrying out into the corridor.

‘So, Georgia, I’m one of the producers here and we thought it would be great if you and I got to know one another a little better. Today is about you and Ben, and informing you both about the premise of the show, and why we’d love for you to be involved. I spoke to Rahul who said he’d filled you in on some of the details but I wanted to make sure that you’re comfortable with everything before you sign up.’ Jerry passed me a cuppa and grabbed a notepad. ‘To really make sure you’re both happy we prefer to interview potential guests separately – that’s why Ben was also whisked off. He’ll join us shortly.’

I gave a hesitant nod; this was the one time when I could have really done with having Ben by my side. Don’t be such a baby. Where’s that fearless traveller gone? I berated myself.

‘Is Rahul about today?’ I asked, blowing on the steam of my cup of tea.

Jerry shook his head. ‘No, he won’t actually be working on this series. He’s going to be away filming something else. He just acted as matchmaker.’

My face must have given away how disappointed I felt. I really got on with Rahul, and as charming as Jerry seemed to be, I had hoped that my first foray into the world of television would be with the support of people I already knew and trusted. I felt like I needed some hand-holding especially after the last time I was on camera in India it caused me so much trouble.

‘Oh, okay.’ I paused. ‘Erm, Rahul also said that maybe we could meet the other guests?’

Jerry shook his head sadly. ‘Ah, well, until contracts have been signed I can’t reveal who you’ll be travelling with. But I can tell you that I’m sure you will have six new friends by the end of it all.’ He smiled at me.

I blushed slightly before asking the next question, ‘Rahul also mentioned something about a cash prize?’

‘Yes! Our sponsors for the show have agreed to give quite a healthy sum of £25,000 to the couple who win the most challenges, with the idea that it will go towards investing in their business, but how the winning couple spends it is up to them!’

‘Wow!’ Before he finished speaking I’d instantly banked the money into the Lonely Hearts Foundation, the charity fund Ben and I had set up after my trip to India, knowing how it could help such a valuable cause as getting children off the streets, and maybe bringing about some decent PR, my business side nudged me. ‘What sort of challenges are we talking?’

‘Oh simple things, just to add a bit of colour to the show really. Between you and me, this cash prize is just so the sponsor gets more shout-outs in the show. It’s all about building that special viewer–brand relationship.’ He rolled his eyes as if it never used to be like this in his day. ‘I can’t imagine they would be expecting the contestants to go above and beyond the call of duty.’ He waved his hand dismissively and glanced at the sheets of paper on his lap. ‘So, I think that’s a short overview. Can you tell me about your relationship with Ben? I know it feels weird to be talking about something so personal but what you tell me in this room stays in this room. It will just help shape the interview questions that you’ll be asked once you’re away.’

I nodded. ‘Erm, sure, okay, well Ben and I met in Thailand –’

‘Ah yes, you travelled there after being jilted, didn’t you?’ he interrupted me.

I felt my hackles rise like they had with Blaise. I had to put a stop to this angle they were clearly looking to go down. I cleared my throat and sat upright. ‘Yes I did. But honestly, Jerry, I don’t want to be known as “the jilted bride”.’ I made inverted commas with my fingers and cringed. ‘I was dumped, and yes that was the catalyst for going away but that is all in the past now. I’ve made something out of what was a horrible time and I couldn’t be happier.’ He was nodding along and making notes as I spoke. I felt really hot all of a sudden. ‘I don’t want this part to be a big element of the show. Rahul told me it would be more looking at how Ben and I manage our time working on the business, and our passion for travel. Is that okay?’

‘Mmm. I just have to ask these silly questions,’ he said gently. ‘I’m sure it won’t be the main focus of things.’

‘Okay, well if you could note that down please, I’d be really grateful.’

Jerry leant forward and put the papers to one side. ‘Georgia, we’re thrilled to have you both here today and we only want you to feel happy. Please trust me that you honestly don’t have a thing to worry about when you’re away, well apart from maybe applying sunscreen and mosquito repellent!’ He laughed.

I smiled along with him. Jerry looked like someone my dad would hang out and have a beer with in his local. There was no way he’d stitch me up. Stop being so dramatic, Georgia. They just need to cover all bases to check you haven’t got any nasty skeletons hiding in your cupboard, I tried to tell myself. Then a thought hit me: I wondered what Ben was talking to that glamorous woman about. What questions was she asking him? See, this is going to be great, you can finally learn more about each other without feeling like you’re nagging him, my subconscious said smugly.

The next hour or so passed quickly as Jerry moved on to less interrogative questions about running a business, the skills needed and time-management difficulties, then touched on how dating and working together with Ben was. He was apologetic about asking tough questions and made me laugh as he told me about his wife and how they’d tried to work together once but it had almost ended in a divorce.

‘So.’ He glanced at his brown leather watch. ‘I’m conscious of time so if you could sign this form and then we can get started on sorting out the travel arrangements, your passport details, dietary requirements and all of that.’

‘Oh, well I wasn’t actually planning on signing anything, not until I’d at least spoken to Ben about it all first, sorry.’ I winced feeling very awkward.

Jerry nodded politely and got to his feet and rummaged in his desk, ‘Course. I just need to get the paperwork, that I know I put in here somewhere, so you can have a read of it all.’ I nodded slowly and watched him banging open drawers. ‘Ah, here we go!’ Just then, the phone rang.

‘Hello? Excellent. I’ll let her know. Yep we’re nearly all done here. Great okay, bye.’ Jerry hung up and flashed me a heartfelt smile before putting his thumbs up in a cheesy dad style. ‘That was Anna, who was with Ben. She just wanted to let me know that he’s just signed the contract and will be waiting for you in reception.’

‘Oh right. Okay.’ He’d signed it already?

Jerry handed me over a stack of papers that had been stapled together at the top. ‘It’s just your basic contract that covers things like insurance and some boring legal jargon.’ I must have hesitated before taking it. ‘Don’t worry, Anna has run through it with Ben who must be happy with it all. It’s all kosher. The reason we need to move quite quickly on all of this is that the filming is set to take place in the next few weeks. I only found out this morning that Channel 4 have let us know of an unexpected slot in their scheduling so everything has been bumped forward to give ourselves the best shot to fill it.’

I smiled weakly and took the forms. I couldn’t believe that Ben had just signed it. But isn’t this what you wanted? I asked myself. You were the one who suggested taking Rahul up on his offer in the first place. Maybe Ben knew how excited you were and wanted to make you happy by showing you that he was on board with the idea? I tried to shush the prickling feeling that I was about to sign a contract without running through it with a fine-toothed comb.

‘Have you got a pen?’ I looked up at Jerry. He nodded and fumbled in one of the messy drawers for a fancy ballpoint pen that glided across the pages where I scrawled my signature.

‘Excellent.’ Jerry beamed and took the papers from me. ‘I’ll get these sent off to the legal department and ask them to forward you both a copy for your records and all that stuff.’ I nodded as he cleared his throat and leaned forward. ‘I know that you and Ben are going to have a wonderful time, be incredible contestants, and I have no doubt that the nation will warm to you and what you’re trying to achieve with your business.’

‘Thanks, I hope you’re right.’ I gave a light laugh. Forget about stressing that you didn’t get to fully read every line of that contract. Trust Ben and remember that both lovely Rahul and Jerry here just want to make a light-hearted show. I mean, it’s hardly going to be question time with Jeremy bloody Paxman, is it? I could have laughed about how sensitive I was being. We get a free holiday and get to promote our business. What could possibly go wrong?

‘So, Georgia, someone will be in touch regarding travel arrangements and what things you’ll need to bring with you et cetera, et cetera. You will need to keep the seventeenth free. Which I know is very soon, but like I said, everything has been shifted forward. Is this still going to be okay?’

I mentally ran through my diary. January was set to be our quietest month, Conrad and Kelli were perfectly capable of being in charge for less than a fortnight, Jimmy and Shelley didn’t leave until next month and Marie still had three weeks left until her latest mini-me entered the world. ‘Yep, I can’t see there’s going to be any problems.’ I got to my feet as he suddenly seemed quite keen to get me out of the room.

‘Great, well it was so lovely to meet you and I’m sure we’ll see you again soon. We’re thrilled to have you both on board for what’s guaranteed to be a fun and memorable experience! I’m just jealous that I’ve not been asked to take part with my wife!’ He let out a deep laugh and then picked up the phone once more and asked for Dog Lover Dana to escort me back to the main room before shaking my hand again. ‘Good luck, Georgia!’

I said goodbye and followed Dana who was chatting excitedly about the fantastic concept and how lucky we were to be involved. I half tuned out, feeling like I’d emerged from some strange comforting bubble, and now that I was back in the bedlam of the hipster courtyard I had this strange sinking feeling that I’d been way too hasty.

It was all going to be fine, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?

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