You can take the woman out of the country...

When Ellie Nelson traded life in rural England for the big city, she left painful memories behind. Coming home to Little Dale means getting back in touch with nature and the animals that inspire her. And a local wildlife vet could even help the fledgling painter realize her dreams. Except he’s the one who broke her heart.

Andy Montgomery has to tread with caution. He can’t put the creatures he’s sworn to protect at risk. And Ellie isn’t ready to trust him again. He doesn’t blame her—he still hasn’t told her his biggest secret. Once he does, will Ellie leave their close-knit community forever?

No, it couldn’t be...

“Andy Montgomery, at your service,” he announced, immediately focusing on the injured fox cub.

His voice still sounded so familiar after all this time; deeper, perhaps, but with that same bright, melodic lilt. Relieved to have a second to pull herself together, Ellie concentrated on breathing steadily as he ran his skilled fingers over the little animal’s unresisting body.

“Right,” he said eventually, jumping up. “We’d better get it to the center as quick as we can.”

Ellie hesitated, steeling herself for the inevitable. It must have been almost six years since she’d last seen Andy...six years since he’d broken her heart. The heavy anger she’d clung to since that day kicked in, and she stood slowly.

“Of all the vets in the world, Andy Montgomery?” She hardened her gaze as she met the eyes of the person she had once loved so much. “What a coincidence. I’m glad you finally qualified—I wondered if you would.”

She had the momentary satisfaction of seeing his tall frame freeze. His face pale with shock.

Dear Reader,

Thank you for picking up my book, I do hope you enjoy it.

If you have previously read The Country Vet (the first book in this series), you will already be familiar with Little Dale, in the Lake District hills, and many of the characters that are also in this story. It is satisfying, I think, to see how people’s lives develop after that first huge rush of falling in love.

I hope you can keep staying in touch with the lives of the characters you have come to know, not only human but animal, too, for as well as being in love with love, anyone who reads my books just has to love animals.

I feel very privileged to be able to write romance, to lose myself in love stories on a regular basis. Without love, our lives are empty. And hopefully you will be able to lose yourself in my love stories, too, to identify with the characters and experience that heady rush of falling in love again and again.

Life doesn’t always stay perfect for long; embrace the best bits and live for today.

I would love to hear from you, either to hear your comments about my stories or to answer questions, and if you need advice about the love in your life, then I’d be very happy to try to help.

You can contact me at info@holmescalesridingcentre.co.uk.

Without readers, I cannot be a writer, so thank you for picking up my books.

Very best wishes to you all,

Eleanor

A Place Called Home

Eleanor Jones

www.millsandboon.co.uk

ELEANOR JONES was brought up on a farm in the north of England and learned to love animals and the countryside from an early age. She has ridden all her life, and after marrying her husband at just eighteen years old and having two wonderful children, they set up a riding centre together. This is still thriving over thirty years later, doing hacks, treks and lessons for all ages and experiences. Her daughter competes at the national level, and she is now a partner in the business and brings her adorable three-year-old son to work with her every day. Eleanor’s son is also married with two children, and they live nearby. Eleanor has been writing for what feels like her whole life. Her early handwritten novels still grace a dusty shelf in the back of a cupboard somewhere, but she was first published over fifteen years ago, when she wrote teenage pony mysteries.

MILLS & BOON

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I would like to dedicate this book to my husband, Peter, who has to put up with my head being in the clouds most of the time.

Acknowledgments

It has been over five years since I started writing for Mills & Boon, and I will be eternally grateful to Paula Eykelhof, both for spotting my first manuscript and for believing in me ever since. I must also thank my Heartwarming editor, Claire Caldwell, for all her help and for the wonderful job she, too, does in helping make my stories better.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

Title Page

About the Author

Dedication

Acknowledgments

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

ELLIE CLUNG TO her seat, fingers wrapped fiercely around soft cream leather as the hedgerow spun by her window in a blur of mottled greens. For a moment the fuzzy images brought her paintings sharply to mind...until the fast-moving vehicle hit a sharp bend in the road. Then all she could think of was survival.

She tightened her grip, fear rising as she watched Matt fighting for control. His jaw was set, his profile firmly etched, displaying his annoyance at having had to leave work midafternoon to come and pick her up. But if they were going to get back home in one piece, then she had to say something, no matter how angry he was.

“Come on, Matt... I’m sorry that my car broke down, but if you keep driving like a madman, you’ll put us both into the hedge. If I’d known you were going to be like this, I’d have gotten a ride into the village with the tow truck, then caught a bus or something.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I could hardly leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere. You just don’t understand...” Matt increased his speed as the road leveled out. “I’m putting together an important deal and I need to get back to the office.”

“When aren’t you putting together a deal?” groaned Ellie. “But if you keep up this speed, you’re not going to be there to finalize it anyway—you’re going to be in the hospital.

“I can handle this car with my eyes shut,” Matt insisted, his voice softening as he mentioned his beloved BMW. “And what were you doing in this miserable place?”

“I told you yesterday I was going on a painting excursion today. There’s a chance I might be able to show some of my pieces at an exhibition in a couple months, and I need more material.”

Matt swung the wheel hard right, a sparkle of elation in his eyes as the powerful car responded.

“About that...” he began, concentrating all his attention on the road.

“What about it?”

The vehicle straightened out and he glanced across at her, a hint of amusement in the curve of his lips. “Your new paintings...”

Ellie frowned. Matt rarely took any notice of her work.

“No offense, Ellie, but are you really sure you’re going the right way with it? All those faded blurry bits make the pictures look kind of strange. Why can’t you just paint nice scenes with proper animals, if that’s what you want to concentrate on?”

Respecting the fact that Matt had gone out of his way to pick her up, Ellie had been trying to stay reasonably calm. His derogatory comment about her work, however, made her blood boil. Plus, he knew nothing about art.

“I don’t tell you how to do your deals,” she retaliated. “So why don’t you just keep your opinions on my painting to yourself. For your information, I’m taking a contemporary slant on animals and the countryside, and if you had any interest at all you would have noticed that I’ve been changing my style for a while.”

Matt turned his attention back to the road, negotiating another tight curve in the narrow lane. The car swerved sideways, tires screaming and Ellie tightened her grip on the seat, wishing she was anywhere but here.

“Slow down, Matt!” she yelled.

“And maybe you should keep your opinions on my driving to yourself,” Matt responded. “I’m perfectly in control.”

“Until we hit a tree or a tractor or something. Are you trying to kill us both?”

As they cleared the corner, Ellie took a breath, leaning back. She and Matt may have been engaged for only a few months, but these days it felt more like a lifetime. They seemed to be pulling in different directions, arguing about anything and everything. Determinedly shrugging off her irritation, she tried again.

“Look, Matt...I know it’s a pain for you having to come out here, and I do appreciate it...”

He cut her off midsentence. “No, Ellie, you have no clue how much of a pain it is for me to drop everything in the middle of a big deal. But I’m not so selfish that I’d leave you stranded. In fact...” He glanced across at her, his gray eyes cold as ice. “Sometimes I think you don’t actually have much of a clue about anything to do with me.”

“What!” Ellie froze. “I don’t have much of a clue about you? You’ve got that the wrong way around. If you understood anything at all about me, you’d know that my stupid paintings are actually beginning to do quite well. In fact, Mel says...”

“And that’s another thing,” he blurted, pushing his foot down on the gas again. “I’m sick of you going on about this Mel bloke. I’m your fiancé, remember.”

“How could I forget that? Clearly, though, you’ve forgotten that Mel is the owner of the gallery that might be exhibiting some of my paintings, and she just happens to be a woman.”

For a fleeting instant, she detected a flicker of amusement in his face as her information sank in. He glanced across at her, his expression softening, but before she could respond, a bright flash of russet against the vivid green of the grass shoulder up ahead caught her attention.

“Watch out!”

His automatic reaction was to stand hard on the brakes. As if in slow motion, the car skidded out of control, sliding helplessly toward the terrified creature that was running in terror alongside the gray stone wall, desperate to escape the oncoming vehicle. To Ellie, it was as if time was temporarily suspended. The inevitable thud made her stomach turn, and suddenly she found her voice, screaming at him to stop, her door already half open. As the car came to a standstill, she leaped out, running back to where the animal now lay motionless in the dirt.

“Matt,” she cried. “It’s a fox cub, and it’s hurt.”

Dropping onto her knees, Ellie peered at the little creature. It looked so young, so vulnerable. She reached out to find a pulse, her heart lightening as she felt a fluttering against her fingers.

The black BMW reversed until it was next to her, and Matt’sface appeared in the window.

“Push it into the hedge and get in the car,” he ordered. “It’s just a fox. Vermin. It’s obviously going to die, anyway.”

For Ellie, it suddenly seemed so important to try and save the innocent creature.

“Just go, Matt,” she told him. “Finish your deal. We knocked the poor little thing down, and the least I can do is to try to save its life.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Get in the car, Ellie, and don’t be so soft. People hunt foxes, you know—we’ve probably done the local farmers a favor.”

“No.” She looked at him fiercely. “I mean it. Just go. I’ll get a taxi or something.”

For a moment, he stared back at her, then he shrugged, raising his eyebrows in mock despair. “All right, if that’s what you want.”

As she watched the big black car roar off up the lane, Ellie felt as if Matt was driving right out of her life...and she really didn’t care. When she’d first met him, while she was working in a bar to fund her painting career, he had seemed so different; mature and fun and very far away from the place she was trying to forget...and the heartbreak it represented. But as she sat at the side of the deserted lane, feeling more alone than she had since she first came to the city, a heavy longing for that place and all it stood for came creeping out, saturating her in painful memories.

Containing a sob, Ellie turned her attention to the motionless fox cub. Its heart still beat softly as it clung on to life. She couldn’t let it die. She had to find a vet...but where was she? She glanced around, spotting a road sign. Tarnside. Her fingers shook as she scrolled through her cell phone, searching for vets in the area and tapping out the number of the first one she saw.

The receptionist’s voice was clear and calm. “Hello, Tarnside Veterinary Center. How can I help you?”

Ellie mumbled her message. “I need a vet at once. I’ve found an injured fox in the side of the lane, near the sign for Tarnside, and it needs help urgently.”

“Well you’re not too far from Cravendale, the wild animal sanctuary. They should be able to help you. Perhaps you could get it into your car and...”

“I don’t have a car...that’s the whole point.”

The receptionist hesitated. “Well, I suppose I could call them for you.”

“I’ll give you my number in case they can’t find me,” Ellie suggested, relief washing over her. “And please, tell them to hurry.”

* * *

CROUCHING IN THE DIRT on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere, stroking the rough fur of a wild creature while waiting for help she could only hope would come, all felt vaguely surreal. The atmosphere reminded Ellie of everything she used to love as a child—clear, fresh air, animals and country aromas. These were the things she had tried to put out of her mind when she’d left home at nineteen for a new life in the city.

She had always been passionate about drawing and painting, so when she was offered a place at an art college in Manchester, it had seemed like the perfect opportunity to do something she loved and escape the heartache that had overtaken her life. In Manchester, she had carved out a completely different scene with new friends and new goals. And it had suited her for a while, given her a chance to distance herself from the pain that had turned her life upside down in a matter of months. In fact, if she was honest with herself, Matt had been a kind of escape, too. Suddenly, though, she was beginning to feel as if her plan was backfiring.

She stood, pacing impatiently, the memories she had unwittingly unleashed swirling around inside her head and bringing guilt and regret. Maybe she should have stayed at home for her dad—not that he wanted her there. He had totally shut her out after her mum’s funeral, as if just looking at her was too painful for him.

The rumble of an engine brought Ellie’s thoughts swiftly back to the present, and she raised a hand to shade her eyes from the afternoon sun, peering down the lane. A green 4X4 appeared—a utility vehicle, muddy and battered, totally functional. It stopped right beside her and a tall young man jumped out of the driver’s seat. He had floppy blond hair, a wide-open smile and eyes she could die in. A sharp pang tore through Ellie’s heart. No, it couldn’t be... She turned away before he could recognize her, dropping back onto her knees beside the cub, trying to control her shaking hands.

“Andy Montgomery, at your service,” he announced, immediately focusing on the injured fox. “Now let’s see what we have here.”

His voice still sounded so familiar after all this time; deeper, perhaps, but with that same bright, melodic lilt. Relieved to have a second to pull herself together, Ellie concentrated on breathing steadily as she watched him run his skilled fingers over the little animal’s unresisting body.

“Right,” he said eventually, jumping up. “There’s a nasty wound across its chest, but as far as I can tell, no broken bones. We’d better get it to the rescue centre as quick as we can.”

Ellie hesitated, building herself up to the inevitable. It must have been almost six years since she’d last seen Andy... Six years since he’d broken her heart. The heavy anger she’d clung to back then kicked in, and she stood up slowly, running her hand through her cap of blond curls. Her hair had hung in a long blond mane down her back when she was dating Andy, she remembered, but that had been a part of the old Ellie Nelson.

“Of all the vets in the world, Andy Montgomery?” She steeled her gaze as she met the eyes of the person she had once loved so much. “What a coincidence. I’m glad you finally qualified—I wondered if you would.”

She had the momentary satisfaction of seeing his tall frame freeze. His face paled with shock.

“Ellie?” he breathed, as if unable to believe his eyes.

“That’s me,” she responded, trying to ignore the wild hammering under her rib cage. It must be just the shock of running into him so unexpectedly.

“You wouldn’t have been my first choice,” she told him, her voice forcedly calm and casual. “But you’re here now, so I guess I’m just going to have to put up with you. Come on, let’s see to this poor little fox.”

Andy shifted quickly back into professional mode, carefully lifting the limp form off the road.

“If you could open the back door for me, please...”

Ellie rushed to do his bidding, watching as he placed the cub in a mesh cage.

“It may look vulnerable,” he told her. “But we can’t forget that it’s a wild creature. If it wakes up, it could panic.”

They traveled in silence, Ellie desperately trying to nurture the anger that had kept her going when her whole world had turned upside down. Andy just stared at the road ahead.

It had been years since that awful day when he’d told her he’d met someone else, Ellie reminded herself. So why did it suddenly feel like yesterday?

“So...how have you been?” Andy’s voice cut through the stifling atmosphere.

“Fine.”

“I was so sorry to hear about your mother...”

She wanted to shout at him, to tell him that if he’d been there to support her through the black days after her mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer, perhaps it would have been easier to bear. Instead, she just stared at her hands, trying to control the rush of emotion that still tore her apart every time she thought about her mother.

The silence fell again, awkward and unbreachable.

“Ah, this is it,” Andy said with obvious relief as the sign for Cravendale Animal Sanctuary appeared. “I’m only a volunteer here, so it’s lucky I was around when we got the call. We don’t have a resident vet. Now let’s get the poor thing in as quick as we can.”

Ellie hung back as he gently lifted the fox cub’s cage and headed for the side door of a low stone building. What to do now? She’d just have to call a taxi.

“Come on, then,” Andy said, looking back at her. “Do you want to see this through or not?”

“Oh...yes, please,” she mumbled, hurrying to catch up.

* * *

THE MAKESHIFT CLINIC was utilitarian, but it had an ad hoc feel, with well-used equipment and mismatched decor.

Noting Ellie’s scrutiny of the place, Andy shrugged. “Most of the fixtures and fittings are from the clinic where I work. You’ll know it, of course—Low Fell in Little Dale.”

“What?” Ellie looked at him in surprise. “You mean you’re back home again? But your family moved away.”

“They may have moved on, but Little Dale will always be home to me...although I seem to spend almost as much time here these days. Anyway, when they renovated a few months ago, they let me pick what I wanted. Some of the equipment’s a bit dated, but the donation was a lifeline for the center. Now, let’s get this little guy onto the table and see what we can do for him.”

Ellie was mesmerized by the way Andy dealt with the injured cub. After giving it a couple of shots, he set about cleaning and suturing the gaping wound.

“You know, some vets would have just put it to sleep,” he remarked, finishing off the dressing with a satisfied smile.

“Well, then, it’s lucky I picked you.” Ellie smiled, but instantly regretted her own words.

He shot her an amused glance. “Thanks for that. Now I’ll just give him a long-lasting antibiotic shot, and we’ll get him into a cage before he decides to come to. Would you pass me that dog carrier behind you?”

He placed the fox gently back into the cage, fastening the latch.

“I think you might get a shock when our little guy recovers consciousness. He may seem cute, but I think we’ll find he can be pretty vicious when he gets all his faculties back. He’ll be scared, too, and that can make animals lash out.”

“Have you always done work with wild creatures?” Ellie asked, intrigued by Andy’s obvious expertise.

He shook his head. “Not really, although at Low Fell we do get the occasional case brought in. It wasn’t until I came across this place that I really started working with them. To be honest, it’s become a bit of a passion of mine. Paula, the woman who runs Cravendale, has such high hopes for it. She works so hard to get funding.”

Ellie nodded. “So it’s a charity?”

“Paula started it up by herself, using her own money, but she managed to get charity status a couple of years ago, which means she can run fund-raisers and all other activities to get enough money to keep it going. People even pay to adopt pets.”

“What, you mean take a wild animal home?”

“No, they just pay a small fee to board and feed an animal, and she sends pictures and letters about how it’s doing. Some people come to visit, too. It can be anything from a hedgehog to a badger or even a snake. When, or if, it recovers and gets released, the money stops, but Paula usually has another animal available for them to take an interest in.”

“She sounds like quite a businesswoman, this Paula of yours,” Ellie said, wondering about the woman’s relationship with Andy.

Andy smiled, carefully picking up the cage. “Not really, she just does what she has to do for the animals. She should be here soon, so you’ll probably get to meet her. We’ll just get this guy settled.”

“Will he stay here for long?” Ellie asked, uncomfortably aware how close she was to her ex as she followed him along a narrow corridor.

“Probably not,” he said. “We’ll let him recuperate for a while, and when he’s better, someone will take him back to where you found him and set him free.”

When they reached a long, narrow indoor enclosure obviously converted from an old farm building, Ellie peered into the cage, surprised to see the little fox already groggily trying to stand, its sharp white fangs bared back from pale pink gums.

“He’s on his feet,” she cried, holding back a sudden rush of tears as relief flooded in. “He really is going to be okay, isn’t he?”

Andy nodded, putting the cage down in the center of a large pen and opening the door. “Hopefully he’ll be good as new in no time.”

They watched the terrified fox cub take its first cautious steps out into the open. It turned to stare at them, yellow eyes gleaming with fright and ferocity.

“It’s hard to tell if he’s angry or scared stiff,” whispered Ellie.

“There’s not much difference between fear and ferocity in the animal kingdom,” Andy said. “Ferocity is often born through fear. We’d better leave him alone to settle down.”

Carried away as she’d been by the fox cub’s plight, it wasn’t until they were back outside in the afternoon sunshine that Ellie took full stock of her situation. She was in the middle of nowhere with the ex-boyfriend she professed to hate, with no means of getting home.

“Well,” she said, her tone curt and distant. “I suppose I need to thank you for your help. Do I owe you anything?”

Andy raised his hands. “Of course not. It’s a wild creature, and it was my duty to help. It’s what we do here.”

Warmth flowed through Ellie’s veins. “My fiancé told me it was vermin and that I should leave it to die.”

Andy sighed. “There are farmers around here who would have said exactly the same thing.”

“Especially chicken farmers,” Ellie said, smiling.

“So did he leave you behind?”

She found herself jumping straight to Matt’s defense. “He had to get back to work.”

“But he is coming back for you, right?”

“I’ll probably just get a taxi, at least to the train station. He’ll be tied up until late.”

“I can drop you off somewhere, if you like,” Andy offered. “Where do you live now, anyway?”

Every fiber of Ellie’s being recoiled from spending time with Andy. They were over a long time ago, totally finished, and being near him brought out too many painful memories.

“The outskirts of Manchester,” she told him. “But you don’t need to drive me. If you could just give me the number for a cab...”

He looked down at her, a familiar twinkle in his soft brown eyes.

“You’re a city girl now? Well, I would never have imagined that. And with a fiancé who works in an office.”

“I went to art school in Manchester.” She bristled. “And now I’m an artist... Well, a wannabe artist, really. I have a part-time job, as well. My first exhibition is coming up soon, though. At least, I hope so.”

“You always did used to be painting or drawing something—usually animals, I remember. I’m glad you’ve made a success of it. What do you paint now?”

“Still mainly animals and the countryside, but lately I’ve been trying out a more contemporary style.”

“That settles it,” Andy said, walking toward the door. “You are still a country girl at heart. Come on, you may as well get a ride with me.” He paused. “You can’t bear grudges forever, Ell...and it was a long time ago.”

Ellie ignored his familiar shortening of her name. “I don’t bear a grudge,” she insisted. “What happened between us was only a teenage fling, anyway wasn’t it?”

Andy nodded. “I guess it was,” he said. For the briefest moment, her eyes met his and glanced away. How could he believe that? He may have met someone else and revealed himself as the liar and cheat he really was, but how could either of them be so dismissive of what they once had? Her anger came back full force. Andy Montgomery owed her big-time.

“Okay,” she agreed. “I will take you up on your offer of a ride. Sure your wife won’t be jealous, though?”

“Young, free and single, that’s me,” he told her, fumbling in his pocket for his keys.

“So she dumped you, then. After all that?” She couldn’t help the barbed retort.

He laughed lightly. “Actually, no, I dumped her. To be honest, that relationship didn’t mean much...”

The breath froze in Ellie’s throat and was replaced almost instantly by a hot rush of anger. She had almost come to terms with the fact that Andy had fallen in love with someone else, but to find out that the whole thing had meant so little to him seemed somehow worse.

Oblivious to her reaction, he shot her a broad smile. “I was married, though...for a while.”

She raised her eyebrows, smothering her turbulent emotions. What did she care? Andy Montgomery was just a piece of her past. “And I take it that didn’t work out, either?”

“I guess I’m not the marrying kind. When is your wedding, anyway? Have you set a date?”

Ellie hesitated, her heart racing. Had they set a date? Had they ever even discussed a wedding? Her mind slid back to the night Matt had proposed. They had been seeing each other for just a few weeks; he was exciting and fun and so sure of himself. “Let’s get engaged,” he had cried in front of all his friends, and Ellie had felt a new door opening in her life. A door, she suddenly realized, that hadn’t actually opened after all. Come to think of it, neither of them had discussed marriage again after that, apart from the ring. She felt for the diamond on the third finger of her left hand, rubbing it gently. Was that what it had all been about then? The engagement? Did Matt really want to take their relationship to the next level? Did she? Slotting her confusing thoughts into the back of her mind, she looked up at Andy. What right had he to make her question her intentions?

“No,” she said. “Not yet.”

He stopped beside his battered green truck, holding her gaze for an endless moment.

“Make sure he’s the right one, Ell,” he said quietly.

Anger brought a flush to Ellie’s face. “And what gives you the right to offer me advice?”

He shrugged. “Just saying.”

“Don’t bother. You already messed my life up enough without trying to interfere in it now.”

He flashed her another one of his ever-ready smiles. “So you’re still angry with me? It’s been what—five, six years? Well, I suppose any emotion is better than none.”

“Don’t kid yourself, Andy.” She yanked open the passenger door, not wanting him to see how much he’d rattled her. “I was well over you years ago. You just make me remember home, that’s all.”

Before Ellie had a chance to climb into the truck, a small blue car drove up next to them.

“Paula’s back,” Andy said. “Come on, you’ll have to say hello at least.”

Slamming the door shut again, Ellie followed reluctantly.

Paula Carr was one of the most dazzling women Ellie had ever met. She wasn’t classically beautiful, but she radiated an inner warmth.

Paula hurried toward them, and when Andy reached down to give her a peck on the cheek, she smiled, squeezing his forearm. Her fair, shoulder-length hair shone in the sun, and her eyes were glowing. She’s in love with him, Ellie realized suddenly. She pushed away the knot in her stomach. What did she care? Andy Montgomery meant nothing to her anymore, and she felt sorry for any woman who came his way. It was obvious that he never stayed with anyone for too long, not even the woman he married.

“Paula, meet Ellie,” said Andy, placing a firm hand on her shoulder. Ellie sidestepped, uncomfortable with his touch.

“She found the fox I called to tell you about, on the side of the road.”

“I’ve got to confess,” Ellie said, “I didn’t exactly find it. My fiancé’s car clipped it. I feel terrible.”

Paula smiled, all-forgiving. “These things happen. At least you bothered to call for a vet—it sounds like you saved its life. Come on, then, show me the poor little thing.”

On the way back to the enclosure, Paula and Andy fell into a conversation about some creature or another, totally on the same wavelength. Totally suited for each other, Ellie thought. Unlike her and Matt? The idea niggled uncomfortably.

The cub was curled up in a dark corner, as settled as it could be in its new environment.

“We’ll have to keep an eye on it now,” said Paula, confirming what Andy had said earlier. “And perhaps before too long it can be released. Thanks again, Ellie, for saving it.”

Ellie squirmed. “Well, it was kind of my fault...our fault...so it was the least I could do.”

Paula shook her head. “Accidents happen to everyone. There’s no use in laying blame. It’s how you deal with the aftermath that really matters.”

“Right, then,” Andy interrupted. “I’m off to give Ellie a ride somewhere. I’ll be back in the morning, Paula, and in the meantime, call if you need me.”

“You’re a godsend, Andy.” Paula smiled. “I’ll go and get some food for the new arrival.” She stood in the doorway as they walked away.

“Aren’t you going to say goodbye to her?” Ellie asked, nudging Andy’s arm.

He frowned, raising one hand in farewell without looking back. “I’m in and out of here all the time, and Paula doesn’t need all the niceties. I’ll check on your fox in the morning, so if you give me your number I can let you know how it’s doing.”

Ellie paused. This would open contact between her and Andy again...contact she’d relinquished long ago.

Andy pulled his cell phone from the pocket of his jeans.

“No...” she heard herself saying. “It’s okay. I don’t need to bother you. The number for Cravendale is there on the sign. I can phone and ask Paula how it’s doing.”

Was that disappointment she could see in his face?

“Suit yourself,” he said, his voice distant. The voice of a stranger, thought Ellie, when he had once been her whole world. How could that happen?

CHAPTER TWO

ANDY DROVE ON AUTOMATIC, hunched forward over the wheel, staring straight ahead. He’d always had that habit of slipping totally into his own thoughts while he was driving, Ellie recalled, thinking of all the other times she’d sat beside him like this. That seemed like a lifetime ago, and yet it still felt so familiar.

It was true that he reminded her of home, and as they drove along narrow country lanes the memories she had kept locked away seeped from their confines, real and raw. The landscape around her didn’t have the same rugged beauty as her native Lake District, which was over fifty miles away, but the colors, sounds and smells were the same. Suddenly, she was consumed by a longing for the place she used to call home. Hope Farm in the Lakeland hills, near the village of Little Dale. It had been weeks since she’d spoken to her dad; she would call him tonight, she decided, just to make sure he was okay—even if he only answered in monosyllables.

“So where should I drop you?” Andy asked. “Hey, there...not asleep, are you?”

Ellie jerked herself out of her reverie. “No, of course not. Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Nice thoughts, I hope.”

“Yes...” A half smile flitted across her face. “I guess they were.”

He raised his eyebrows. “So am I in them?”

She stiffened. “Oh, please. You left my thoughts a long time ago.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Dead sure. You let me down when I needed you most, Andy, so don’t expect me to be all sweetness and light just because you reappeared in my life after six years to save the fox.”

Andy turned his attention abruptly back to the road ahead, brow furrowed and fingers gripping the wheel. They drove in silence for a while, the air between them heavy and awkward.

“You can drop me at a bus stop if you like,” Ellie said eventually.

He flashed her a wry grin.

“You might think I’m a total waste of space, but I do owe you, in a way.”

“You owe me nothing,” she said quietly, though she was secretly relieved at not being abandoned.

“Oh, yes I do,” he insisted, smiling his painfully familiar, lopsided smile.

Back when they were together, that smile would have been quickly followed by a kiss. She shuddered, imagining the feel of his lips on hers.

“I owe you for helping the fox,” he said. “And for breaking your heart, of course.”

Ellie stared out the window, seeing nothing, anger bubbling inside her as the memories seeped away. How dare he make light of the event that had colored her teenage years...and her whole adult life? At the time, it had felt as if his breaking up with her and the shock discovery that her mother hadn’t long to live were painfully intertwined, as if it was all his fault. Now she knew better, but the pain still remained.

“Don’t give yourself so much credit, Andy Montgomery,” she snapped. “How could you even think that you broke my heart? We were just two kids having fun. It would never have gone anywhere.”

“Wouldn’t it?”

“Obviously not, or we wouldn’t be here now, would we?”

He stared at the road, his expression serious for once.

“I’ve always regretted it, you know. We just met too soon, and...”

“And you got bored,” she finished for him. “Just like you got bored with your wife and probably all the other girlfriends you’ve had along the way.”

“No, I—”

“Look, Andy,” Ellie said, cutting off his attempt at an apology—or was it an excuse? “Just leave the past in the past. There have been a lot of worse things in my life than getting dumped by my teenage crush.”

He glanced across at her. “I know. And I’m sorry about your mum... I really regret not being there for you.”

The memories Ellie never allowed herself to face suddenly broke free; all the emotion of those terrible days when she watched helplessly as her mother lost her fight with death swirled around inside her, dark and suffocating.

“It was so quick,” she cried, struggling to hold back tears. “She’d had that pain in her back for ages. I told her and told her to see a doctor, and when she did... When she did, it was already too late.”

“It must have been a terrible time...for all of you.”

Andy’s voice was warm and caring, reminding her just how much she’d needed him during her mother’s decline. Reminding her of how lost she’d felt without him. Suddenly, his presence felt stifling.

“Here,” she cried. “Stop here, Andy. This is fine.”

“But...” he objected, touching the brakes.

“It’s fine,” she repeated, fumbling for her bags. She was already scrambling out of the vehicle as he pulled up to the curb.

Andy reached out to take her arm, but she wriggled from his grasp. “Thanks for the ride, and for helping the fox,” she mumbled, already walking away. “I’ll see you.”

When she heard his door slam, Ellie couldn’t help but look back. He was standing on the pavement, long fingers pushed through his thick blond hair, tall and lanky and totally out of place in the suburbs of the city, watching in bewilderment as she raced off down the street. His voice followed after her like an echo from the past.

“Ellie...Ellie...”

For a heart-stopping moment, she wanted to turn and run back, to share all her agony with him. But it was way too late for that. Andy Montgomery was out for just one person—himself. She knew that all too well.

Ellie ran for what felt like miles, as if she could run away from all the things Andy had made her remember. Her phone rang just as she saw a familiar landmark, and she stopped, breathing heavily. Was it him? No, it couldn’t be, she realized with relief. She hadn’t given him her number.

Matt’s name flashed on the screen.

Ellie took another deep breath and answered. “Yes?”

“You okay?”

“No thanks to you.”

“Do you want me to come get you?”

“I take it your deal worked out?”

Matt paused. “Kind of. Do you want me to pick you up or not?”

“No, thanks. I’m nearly home.”

“Then I’ll come by at seven-thirty and take you out to dinner.”

There was no point in trying to put him off, and Ellie was too tired to resist, anyway. “See you then.”

“Oh, and Ellie?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for abandoning you.”

Flicking off her phone, she stepped back into the present, determinedly trying to shake off the events of the afternoon.

Her phone rang again, buzzing against her hip as she was finally climbing the stairs to her apartment. With a sigh, she retrieved it from her jacket pocket, wishing she had passed on Matt’s dinner offer.

“Hello?” she responded, tucking the phone in between her shoulder and her chin as she fumbled to unlock the door.

It was Matt again, his voice high-pitched and urgent. As always, he was living life in a rush. “You home yet?”

Her heart lifted. “Don’t tell me. You’ve changed your mind.”

He laughed. “No, nothing like that. I just wanted to make sure you knew what time I was picking you up.”

“Seven-thirty, right?”

“Yes, and wear something nice.”

“Don’t I always,” she retorted.

* * *

AS ELLIE BURROWED through her closet for an outfit, she realized she hadn’t called her dad, as she’d told herself she would. She was going to Hope Farm next weekend, she decided, no matter what he said. Seeing Andy again had brought the past sharply back into focus. For the first time since leaving home, she felt as if she was finally ready to face those memories and maybe even make peace with all that had happened. She didn’t dare give herself enough time to change her mind.

“Sorry, Mum,” she whispered, holding back tears. She had let down her mum’s memory. Badly. She should have stayed home and supported her dad, she understood that now, or at least kept in better touch with him...whether he wanted her to or not.

Ellie took a short black skirt and lacy top from their hangers and let her mind slip back to the difficult days after her mother’s funeral. She had been just a teenager back then; her dad was the adult. Now, though, she was an adult. She’d made her own way in the world for almost six years, ever since she said goodbye to her grieving father and drove away from Hope Farm. Maybe that was the day she’d grown up—or perhaps that had happened when she’d held her mother’s hand as her life slipped away. The hustle and bustle of a totally new life had seemed to help her through her own grief, but now she wasn’t so sure. Maybe this life she’d made for herself wasn’t really a new beginning... Maybe it was a hiding place.

Ellie stepped into the shower, and as the water ran soothingly over her aching limbs, she let out a sigh. The safe little world she had set up for herself felt as if it was crumbling around her.

CHAPTER THREE

THE RESTAURANT MATT had chosen was suave and sophisticated.

“I wish you’d told me we were coming here—I would have worn something classier,” Ellie groaned as they pulled up outside. She checked her reflection, fluffing up her short blond curls.

“You look fine,” he insisted. “And you’ll be far more likely to charm my client dressed like that.”

“You’re not seriously telling me this is a business dinner, Matt. I thought you were trying to make amends for abandoning me this afternoon.”

“I am, kind of. I’m killing two birds with one stone, so to speak.”

Her irritation suddenly faded, and was replaced with amusement. Was that why she was with Matt? she wondered. Because she didn’t need to take him too seriously? It occurred to her that their whole engagement might be a sham. If they were both honest, neither of them actually wanted to get married...or even move in together. The thought left her feeling vaguely uncomfortable, and when Andy’s warm grin flashed into her mind, she quickly stifled the emotions it conjured, turning her attention back to the present.

“Ever the opportunist, eh, Matt?” She laughed, trying to sound lighthearted.

“Have to be.” He grinned, holding out his arm.

As she curled her fingers around the expensive material of his suit jacket, she lifted her chin, silently cursing Andy Montgomery for coming back into her life; hopefully their paths wouldn’t cross again for a while...or ever. He conjured up way too many painful memories. Life with Matt was lighthearted, and she liked lighthearted right now.

* * *

DETERMINED TO ENJOY the evening, Ellie tried her best to make conversation with Matt’s middle-aged client, Jack Noble. She was a bit self-conscious about the length of her skirt, but she didn’t let on. She had been to so many of these dinners since she met Matt that sometimes she wondered if he was only with her to have a trophy on his arm, someone to flirt with his clients in order to weaken their resolve. Until recently it had just felt like a bit of fun; she’d been in control and that had made her feel good. Tonight, though, despite her outward show of joviality, she couldn’t seem to find the right mood. It all seemed so shallow. Smiling at yet another of Jack’s unfunny jokes, she was overcome with the feeling that her whole life was a sham, too. The only real, true thing in her life was her painting. She’d convinced herself that her relationship with Matt was fun and lighthearted, but suddenly it just felt false. A heavy ache began to throb in her temple.

“Look...” She put her hand to her head. “I’m really sorry, but I don’t feel so well. I think I may have to go home.”

She caught a glint of anger in Matt’s gray eyes and grimaced.

“My head is killing me.”

The client was more understanding.

“Perhaps you should take her home,” he said to Matt. “We can do this some other time.”

“No, honestly, I just need some fresh air,” Ellie objected. “You two carry on. I’ll call a cab.”

“Why don’t you try going outside for a bit, then, before you rush off,” Matt suggested, eager to salvage what he could of the meeting.

Ellie was already on her feet. “It’s just a headache, but I do think I’d better head home.” She held out her hand to Jack, who seized it with plump fingers, pumping it up and down. “Nice to meet you,” she said, smiling. “And I really am sorry about this.”

“I’ll call you later,” Matt cut in, making his opinion clear.

The fresh evening air hit her as soon as she left the restaurant and she felt the pain in her head already beginning to recede. Rejecting her plan to call a taxi, she decided to walk the mile or so back to her apartment. By the time she got home, she would probably feel absolutely fine.

Setting off, she listened to the staccato sound of her heels on the pavement. She had become used to living in the city, with its constant buzz and bright lights, but tonight it felt oppressive. She found herself hankering once again for the quiet peace of the countryside. It was all Andy Montgomery’s fault. He’d brought back memories and emotions she didn’t want to feel, but now that he had, she couldn’t ignore them. Reaching into her pocket for her cell phone, she dialed her dad’s number, not really expecting an answer. When his deep voice with its strong Northern accent filled her ears, she was suddenly struck dumb.

“Who is this?”

As usual, he sounded irritable and less than pleased to be disturbed. Remembering how he used to be when her mum was alive, Ellie found her voice.

“Dad?”

“Ellie? Is that you?”

Was she just imagining the lift in his tone?

“Yes, it’s me, your one and only daughter. How are you, Dad?”“

He was quiet for a moment. “Business is good—new stallion’s popular.”

“But how are you?”

“I get by.”

“Dad, I thought I might come see you next weekend, stay a night or two.”

His response was immediate. “You don’t need to.”

“I want to,” she said, meaning it. “So...what’s the new stallion’s name?”

His voice brightened. Her dad never had trouble talking about the horses. “We call him Dennis, stud name Grand Design. He’s giving Blue a run for his money.”

Ellie smiled, recalling how proud her parents had been of their first homebred sire, Into the Blue. His first crop of foals had been born the year before her mother was diagnosed, when everything in their world was still rosy. Grief and homesickness split her in two, and her need to see her dad and all the animals grew stronger.

“I’ll see you next weekend, Dad.”

“Suit yourself. I don’t need help, mind. I’ve got by on my own for the last six years, so what’s different now?”

Ellie hesitated, pondering the question. “Maybe I’m different, Dad...and perhaps you are, too.”

“I’ve got to go. Jake Munro’s here to see me.”

Ellie wasn’t surprised when the line went dead. Nothing had changed there, then. Her dad had never been good with emotion. It hadn’t mattered when she was small because her mum had always had enough for both of them. But now it was just Ellie and her dad.

Taking in her surroundings, Ellie noticed how enclosed everything seemed. Cars and lights and tall, looming buildings. Images of a wide-open sky and rugged hills filled her mind. Her day out in the country and her run-in with Andy had triggered this trip down memory lane. She hadn’t planned on it, but now she felt as if today had released some of her demons. The painful months before and immediately after her mother’s death were difficult to face, but Hope Farm also held the memories of her childhood. For the first time in over five years, she wanted to go home.

* * *

TO ELLIE’S SURPRISE, Matt wasn’t too happy when she told him, the next morning, that she was going to see her dad. They were having coffee together in Costa, and Matt’s reaction took her by surprise.

“But you can’t go,” he announced, a dull flush spreading up his neck.

Normally, they slid in and out of each other’s lives, few questions asked. Her apartment was on the top floor of a run-down Victorian house in the outskirts of the city. She spent almost all of her spare time painting there, while Matt rented a smart penthouse suite downtown. They both loved their own personal space, and despite having been engaged for several months, they had never really discussed taking the next step in their relationship. It was only now that she realized perhaps they just didn’t want to. It never occurred to her that he might object to her taking a trip.

“What do you mean, I can’t?” she retaliated. “It’s not until next weekend, and we don’t have any plans. I really believe it’s time I visited my dad. You can come with me, if you like.”

He rolled his eyes, the flush receding. “You know I hate the country.”

That put her on the defensive. “Well, I don’t, and I’ve been irresponsible for far too long.”

Matt took hold of her hand across the table, a pleading expression in his eyes. “I really need to close this deal, and I’ve arranged to meet Jack Noble again next Saturday night. A pretty face just might push him in the right direction.”

“So basically,” she responded, feeling a prickle of irritation. “You don’t want me there for me, you just want me to flirt with your client. And why can’t you meet him sooner?”

“He’s out of town until then. Why can’t you go see your dad another time?”

Ellie drained her coffee cup and set it firmly on the table. “Because I’ve already told him I’m going on the weekend.”

“It’s not as if he’s going to be bothered if you change your plans, though, is he? You haven’t seen him in ages, and the last time you tried to visit he conveniently decided to go out. Surely that tells you something.”

“Well, maybe this time I won’t take no for an answer,” Ellie said, pushing her mug away and standing up. “I’m sorry, Matt, but I really do want to go. I need to. I know this deal is important to you, but I’m not changing my plans just to be your arm candy. And besides, you’ve had a deal going down at least a couple of times a week ever since I met you. What’s so special about this one?”

“Well...” He looked disconcerted. “Nothing, really, just another piece of property I bought from a bankruptcy sale. I’ve stretched myself a bit, though, so I need a quick turnover.”

Ellie sighed, pulling on her jacket. “Then why don’t you try and find someone else to take it off your hands? I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

His deep voice followed her. “Don’t bother, I’m going out tonight.”

“Please yourself,” she responded, to the amusement of the couple at the next table.

She hadn’t expected to feel so unaffected by their disagreement. Perhaps their relationship had run its course. It was time, she realized, to stop and take stock, to catch up with the past she had spent so long trying to forget. And then she would decide where she was with Matt.

* * *

WHEN THE GARAGE called the next day to tell her that her car was ready to collect, Ellie didn’t bother Matt, and took a bus to Tarnside instead. On the way home, she stopped in at Cravendale to check on the fox cub. Paula welcomed her, exclaiming over the little creature’s recovery and promising to let Ellie know when she was about to let it go.

“It’s so rewarding,” Paula said with a radiant smile. “When they run free again...you should come and watch.”

Ellie pulled out her camera and took a few shots of the cub before she left, feeling a niggle of inspiration. Suddenly she knew what she wanted to paint next...her own interpretation of freedom.

For the next couple of days, she threw herself into her painting, embracing the focus she always had when she started a new project. It was only in the dead of night, when sleep proved elusive, that thoughts of Matt, Andy, her dad and the longing for times gone by came back to mess with her head.

* * *

AT THE END of her second day of painting, Ellie stood back to take in her work so far. Surprised to see that the light was fading she glanced at her watch. Could it really be eight already? She put down her brush and stretched out her arms, her body aching. The face of the rescued fox stared back at her, its yellow eyes filled with fear and ferocity. The rest of the painting faded out into a blur of color, drawing the observer’s eye to what really mattered; the raw emotion of the piece, and the clear but distant glimpse of the freedom the wild creature craved. Smiling to herself, Ellie stood, contemplating her afternoon’s work with a critical eye. She’d done enough, she decided. She didn’t want to overwork it and she liked its slightly unfinished look.

With another quick glance at the painting she headed for the kitchen, her mind going back to the little fox and its plight. That morning, Paula had called to tell her that tomorrow was the day. She was so looking forward to watching its release. It would be like going full circle.

She hadn’t heard from Matt, and she hadn’t gotten in touch with him, either. Was she being selfish? Should she have changed her plans as he wanted her to? She flicked the switch on the kettle and waited for the water to boil. To be fair, Matt was right that her dad had called to dissuade her from coming the last time she tried to visit him. It felt right this time, though, and she didn’t care what her dad said. Anyway, it didn’t sound as if Matt’s client was worth pursuing, so perhaps she’d done him a favor.

Picking up her phone, she dialed his number, listening to his deep tones on the voice mail. “Hi...just me,” she said,

He called her back ten minutes later and they arranged to meet for a drink at the bar where they first met, Applejacks, but conversation was stilted, like two strangers on a first date.

He talked about his latest deal and she told him she’d started a new painting, but she sensed a shift in their relationship, a holding back that wasn’t all her fault. And it couldn’t just be because of their disagreement about her trip—Matt’s client had dropped the deal. Fortunately, though, he already had someone else interested. Someone who hopefully didn’t need any input from her.

At the end of the evening, she announced that she would get a cab back to her apartment, and he didn’t protest. On the shiny, rain-washed pavement, he held her close in a hard, impersonal embrace, touching her lips briefly with his.

“Perhaps it’s good that you’re going home for a visit,” he said. “I think we both need a break.”

Ellie felt a surge of panic, her safe little world rocking on its axis. “What...you mean split up?”

He shook his head. “Yes, I guess, but not forever, or at least not necessarily, but we both need to think about where this is going...because it feels to me as if we’re going in different directions.”

“I feel that, too,” she admitted, knowing it was true.

* * *

THE NEXT MORNING dawned bright and clear. Ellie lay in her bed watching the sun rise above the tall houses across the street, experiencing a burst of longing for the wild hills of home. She recalled her brief conversation with Matt last night, but her sadness was fleeting. Was this the final blow to the safe haven she had secured for herself? It felt scary and strange, yet she knew he was right; they did seem to be pulling in different directions.

She turned her attention back to the present, pushing all thoughts of Matt out of her head. Today, she was going to watch the fox cub run free and she couldn’t wait. Had she done its expression justice in her painting, or would she have to repaint the whole thing? She should have waited to start on it until after she’d seen its release for herself, but inspiration didn’t come to order. With one last satisfied glance at her handiwork, she reached for her car keys.

* * *

ELLIE FELT A song in her heart as she reached Cravendale, spotting Paula waiting impatiently in the yard. Paula urged her eagerly toward the fox’s enclosure.

“I didn’t want to start without you,” she said excitedly as they entered the low stone building. “We’re all ready to go, but we waited to catch the cub and put it into a travelling cage because we thought you’d like to see the whole thing.”

We?

“That must be difficult to do.”

Paula smiled. “Fortunately, we’ve got expert help.”

“I thought you were the expert.” The deep, familiar voice that came from the shadows made Ellie’s pulse speed up. She stopped, her hand raised to the base of her throat.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here.” Her voice sounded strange in her ears, clipped and harsh, belying her breathlessness.

Andy laughed, stepping into view, his warm brown eyes full of merriment and holding hers with a quizzical expression. “Don’t sound too pleased.”

She blushed, glad of the semidarkness. “I am. I mean...I don’t really care either way.”

“Come on, then, Andy,” Paula pressed him. “The poor little thing is terrified.”

Andy deftly caught the fox, his hands firm but gentle as he lifted it into the small cage. Then they all loaded into Andy’s 4X4 and set off.

Ellie sat in the back, listening to Andy and Paula chatter about the animals at Cravendale. His dark blond hair, as unruly as ever, shone in the morning sunshine. One broad, tanned hand was firm on the wheel and the other rested on the back of Paula’s seat, right in front of Ellie. Resisting the temptation to reach out and place her hand over his, as she used to do so naturally, Ellie peered out the window.

“This is it,” she cried, glad to be finally doing something positive that might take her mind away from the past and how things used to be. “This is where he got hit.”

“I was there, remember?” Andy smiled, glancing back at her.

“I know this place,” Paula said. “There’s a den in the copse over there. We’ll set him free under the cover of the trees.”

* * *

THEY SET THE cage down under a bush and waited a while to let the cub absorb its surroundings. The three of them stood silently together, almost out of sight. Ellie listened to the rustling of the wind in the trees, entranced as Paula stepped forward quietly to unlatch the cage door. The little fox cowered, sniffing the air, yellow eyes fearful as he crept gingerly toward the opening. And then he made his dash for freedom and tears were flowing down Ellie’s face. When Andy’s arm crept around her shoulders, it felt so right.

“Amazing, isn’t it,” he murmured as the fox took one look back before disappearing into the undergrowth.

The spell was broken. Ellie stepped away from him, alarm bells ringing in her head. What was she thinking?

Paula glanced back at them, her lovely eyes alight with passion.

“Run free, little fox,” she cried.

Andy held out his hand to her and when she took it, Ellie felt something wither deep inside.

“Right,” Ellie said curtly. “That was really something, but unfortunately I have to get home pretty soon. Thanks so much for inviting me, though.”

Dropping Andy’s hand, Paula gave her a quick hug. “You were the one who rescued him.”

“And I was the one whose fiancé knocked him down in the first place,” Ellie said.

Paula shrugged. “As I already said, accidents happen. At least you did the right thing.”

Ellie glanced at Andy, holding his gaze for a moment.

“We all do things we regret,” he said quietly.

“Do we?” she asked. “So what are your regrets?”

He stepped forward, still holding her eyes in his. “I—” he began.

“Come on, then,” urged Paula, heading for Andy’s truck. “I thought you were in a rush, Ellie.”

“I am,” Ellie responded, turning to follow her, vaguely disappointed that she hadn’t gotten to hear Andy out. Then again, did she really want to know his regrets?

CHAPTER FOUR

ELLIE STARED CRITICALLY at her painting, comparing it to her experience of seeing the cub being set free. Had she caught the fox’s expression, fear and ferocity firmly linked?

She felt Andy’s arm around her again, connecting them in the emotional moment when the wild creature finally ran free. He’d followed her when she’d said her goodbyes, leaning in through her car window to ask for her number. “For old times’ sake,” he’d said with a smile.

“Our old times are long gone, Andy,” she’d told him, clamping down a rush of emotion as all the painful memories kicked in again. Then she’d turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared into life, defusing the situation. “See you,” she’d called, forcing a lighthearted tone and pulling away. She’d seen him in her mirror, shading his eyes to watch her drive off, then she rounded a corner and he was out of sight.

There was no doubt in her mind that what she’d told Andy was true. Their old times were long gone, and he was well in the past. So why, she asked herself, did she feel this unexpected longing for everything they used to have? Nostalgia, she supposed. Nothing more.

Ellie turned away from the painting, trying to shake her confusion. Today she was facing up to another part of her past by going to see her dad. That was was what she needed to focus on now, rekindling the father-daughter relationship that tragedy had torn apart.

Yet as she drove out of the city a few hours later, Ellie found her mind wandering back to Andy. Busy roads and concrete gave way to the gentle greens of wide-open countryside, and she couldn’t stop the flood of memories. She and Andy had been together almost all of their teenage years, an inseparable couple, loving the same things, loving each other. Of course she had regret for what they’d lost. Perhaps she should have kept in touch with him, for old times’ sake. But she couldn’t let go of what he’d done to her, and he’d probably done the same to others since. No matter how well he came across, Andy Montgomery was shallow and selfish. What was in the past should stay in the past.

Hardening her heart, she turned her thoughts to her dad and the stud. Excitement at seeing home and all the horses and animals there washed over her. No matter how unsociable and unwelcoming her dad proved to be, she wouldn’t let him get to her. It was time to build bridges, and nothing was going to stop her.

Another hour passed by, and familiar landmarks dotted the landscape—lakes sparkling in the midday sun, looming hills and clear, endless skies. When the road narrowed to a single, fenceless track and she had to stop for an amber-eyed, wild-looking Fell sheep, Ellie knew that she was home.

She drove through the quaint stone village of Little Dale, past Low Fell Veterinary Clinic and the busy market, then up the steep fell side again, dropping down to follow the road that meandered around the lake. Butterflies fluttered madly in her chest. What if her dad didn’t want to see her? What if he turned her away? Three years ago, when she’d visited at Christmas, the atmosphere had been so uncomfortable that she hadn’t stayed for very long, and she’d only been back twice since. Well, things were different now, she told herself. She was different. If her dad was unwelcoming, then she’d just ignore it. This was still her home, after all, and her dad had no other family to share it with.

Still, as Ellie turned down the lane that led to Hope Farm, she began to doubt her own confidence. The old sign had been repainted, but not replaced. Her mother had chosen that sign, and she was glad her father had seen fit to keep it. The rest of the place looked as if it had been tidied up, too, she noted with surprise as she pulled into the yard. She had expected it to be just as neglected as it had been the last time she came home.

Parking her car next to her dad’s cream horsebox, she sat for a moment, suddenly overcome by memories. Her first pony, Midge, a brown-and-white Shetland, had been kept in the stable across from her. She couldn’t even count the times he’d dumped her unceremoniously on the ground. “You’re fine, Ellie,” her mum had always told her, insisting that she get straight back on. Eventually, Midge had been retired and was replaced by a pretty gray Welsh mare called Starlight, but Ellie had always missed her old friend and visited him daily in the meadow he shared with her dad’s retired hunter, Jock. They were both long gone now, though. As a teenager, Ellie had liked to think that they were with her mum in Heaven. Did she still believe that? she asked herself. Tears welled behind her eyelids, heavy and hot. She brushed them aside. The last thing she wanted was for her dad to find her sitting in the car crying. She had come home to try and bring some joy back into both their lives...some closure. Where was he, anyway?

Ellie climbed out of the car, taking her bag from the backseat, and headed for the house. A mud-splattered truck was parked in the middle of the yard. Her dad’s, she presumed, so he must be home.

She stood outside the kitchen door. Should she knock, or just walk in? Deciding on the latter, she pushed open the door and peered inside. Her father was asleep in his favorite chair, slumped forward slightly, a magazine slowly slipping off his knee. He looked so small and old, she realized with a jolt, so vulnerable.

“Dad,” she called quietly, unsure of whether or not to disturb him.

He stirred with a slight snorting sound, opening his eyes as the magazine fell to the ground. Ellie smiled to herself as she read the title. Horse and Hound. Of course it was.

“Ellie?” he gasped, pulling himself awkwardly upright and staring at her as if he could hardly believe his eyes.

“One and the same,” she said. “It’s good to see you, Dad.”

“Better put the kettle on, then, lass,” he suggested. Whatever he might say later, she knew he was pleased to have her home.

“I thought it was time I checked up on you,” she told him as she made herself busy brewing a pot of tea. It was like going back in time a hundred years in her father’s house. Perhaps she’d buy him an electric kettle before she left. Maybe even a toaster.

“Biscuits are in the barrel,” he said as she handed him a steaming mug.

She picked it up from its prominent position on the counter and sat down at the table.

“Same one, I see.”

“Not much changes around here,” he grunted. “Except you, of course.”

Ellie shrugged. “Circumstances changed us both, Dad, but I think it’s time to finally move on.”

He dunked a biscuit in his tea, considering her remark before looking up with a half smile. “So that’s what you think, eh... Still painting those pictures of yours?”

She nodded eagerly. “I’ve been given a bit of space in an exhibition soon. It’s not much, I know, but at least it’s a start. And what about you, how’s the new stallion you told me about, and Blue?”

“Doing good.”

“Had some nice foals this year?”

His eyes, still as bright a blue as hers, lit up his weathered face.

“The best. And Jake Munro has put his top jumping mare, Carlotta, to Dennis. Their foal should really be something special. You’ll have to come and see the horses when we’ve finished our tea.”

They fell then into a surprisingly comfortable silence and Ellie felt warm inside. She’d been right. It was time to make peace with the past and move on. Her dad knew it, too; she was sure of it.

When her tea was done, Ellie jumped up. “Let’s go check out this Dennis of yours. How’s he bred, anyway?”

Bob Nelson followed more slowly, easing out of the chair and pulling on his jacket.

“Irish Thoroughbred,” he said. “With a lineage as long as your arm.”

* * *

WHEN THEY REACHED the stable, they saw Blue first. His head was over the half door, as if he’d been expecting them.

As her dad ran his hand down the elegant horse’s face, the stallion nickered, lowering his head for his master’s caress.

Ellie thought of the morning Blue was born. Her mum had been so excited.

“Wake up, Ellie,” she’d called, bursting into her bedroom. “Come and see our new sire! He’s going to be the making of Hope Farm.”

“Some sire, that.” Ellie had smiled as she and her parents watched the newborn foal wobble around in the straw on legs that seemed way too long for its body. Even then, though, in the very first hour of his life, Blue had had a proud, almost regal look to him; the look of eagles, her mother had called it. And he still had it now. Ellie reached up to stroke the big horse’s silken coat, as well. He had been iron gray when she last saw him, and the years had turned him almost white now, but he still had that same pride and class he’d always had.

“He’s done your mum proud,” murmured her dad. “Done us all proud. One of his offspring is shortlisted for the British Horse Trials team, you know, and another two have been sold to America.”

“So Dennis has a lot to live up to, I guess.”

“Not really. He’d already proven himself competing in show jumping when I bought him. Cost me an arm and a leg. That’s why Jake Munro was so keen to use him.”

“Jake Munro,” Ellie repeated. “Do I know him?”

“You must. He’s quite a bit older than you, but he was brought up around here, at Sky View. He went away to work on a show-jumping yard in the South not long after he left school. Then he came back a few years later, after his wife left him and their twins, to set up a yard at home.”

“I know who you mean,” Ellie said. “I heard about that. He was married to Tamara, the singer. Wasn’t there some kind of tragedy?”

Her dad shook his head sadly. “Terrible business. His mother and one of the children were killed in a car crash.”

A heavy weight settled on Ellie’s heart. “That must have been awful.”

“He was in a very bad place for a while, I believe.”

“Like you, then, Dad.” She needed to say it.

For the first time in years, Bob Nelson looked his daughter in the eyes without withdrawing his gaze. His face darkened, and for one horrible moment she thought she’d overstepped the mark. Well, if he told her to leave, she’d just refuse.

“I have to go and let the pup out,” he said, turning away. “He’s been locked in all morning.”

She followed slowly as he walked across to the barn and opened the door. The black whirlwind that hurled itself on them took her totally by surprise.

“How long have you had him?” she cried, crouching down to welcome the half-grown sheepdog that covered her in sloppy kisses.

“Quite a while now. He was part of the deal for Jake Munro’s mare’s stud fee.”

“What’s his name?”

“I call him Shadow. Jake’s fiancée, Cass, has his sister, Puddle.”

At the sound of his name, Shadow raced over to greet his master, tearing around him in crazy circles before waiting eagerly to be petted.

Bob rubbed the backs of the dog’s ears. Ellie hadn’t seen the same softness in his eyes for years.

“I’ve got a few sheep,” he told her, as if compelled to justify his acquisition. “I thought it might be useful to have a dog. I’m going to train him.”

“And he’ll be good company for you,” Ellie added.

“That, too,” he admitted. “To be honest, I haven’t felt like having company for a very long time.”

Ellie seized her opening. “I know exactly how you feel, Dad. But maybe it’s time to look back and move on. That’s what I’m trying to do, at last. That’s why I’m here. And your friend, Jake, seems to have managed to come to terms with his past.”

“I guess meeting him is what got me thinking. He’s been through some bad times, too, but now he’s got his training and breeding business up and running, and he’s getting married again. He’s even gone into partnership with his dad, converting some barns.”

“Perhaps I should stay around for a while,” Ellie suggested on impulse. “Help you get things in the house straight again.”

Her idea met a blank wall of silence.

“Dog needs some exercise,” her dad eventually muttered, turning abruptly away.

Ellie’s heart fell as she watched his slightly stooped figure walk off, closely followed by the dog. Then he paused, looking back.

“Come and see my new ewes if you like,” he said. “They’re in the fell meadow.”

As they headed, side by side, toward the imposing mass of the Lakeland Hills, the pup raced ahead, glancing back every now and then to make sure his master was following. Ellie studied his black face with its white stripe between two of the friendliest brown eyes she had ever seen. He appeared to be smiling, Ellie thought, her head already whirling with ideas for a new painting.

The black-headed ewes were as nervous as wild deer, rushing to the corner of the paddock when they saw the dog. Shadow slunk down, belly on the ground, his eyes firmly fixed on the sheep.

Now that would make a great painting—the keen expression on the young dog’s face and the startled eyes of the cautious sheep.

“You’ve started training him already, I see,” she exclaimed.

Her dad shook his head. “No, that’s just natural. It seems to be bred into him to know how quiet you have to be with these Fell sheep. They’re as wild as the hills. I’ve had to put wire all around the tops of the walls to keep them in.”

With a low whistle to Shadow, he turned back toward the stable yard, beckoning her.

“You haven’t met Dennis yet.”

CHAPTER FIVE

GRAND DESIGN WAS probably the most beautiful horse Ellie had ever seen. Not as noble as Blue, who would always hold a very special place in her heart, but classically perfect in his conformation. His gleaming, rich bay coat rippled beneath her fingers as she stroked his arched neck. She reached up to trace the outline of the large white star in the middle of his broad forehead. He tossed his head, moving to nip her arm, and she drew back.

“You’ve been spoiled by Blue, I’m afraid,” her dad said, smiling. “Not many stallions are as friendly as him. Dennis is a different ball game altogether. He’s pure Thoroughbred, for a start, and they’re often a bit feisty. You have to treat him with respect—if you don’t want to get bitten, that is. Fortunately, though, he’s very gentle with his mares.”

Ellie took hold of the stallion’s nose as she rubbed the backs of his ears, determined not to be daunted by his behavior.

“You know, I’ve already had two brilliant ideas for paintings since I’ve been home,” she said reflectively. “Shadow with the sheep, and the arrogant expression on Dennis’s face just now. I think maybe I could get lots of new ideas around here,”

“Best get some sketches done, then. Is that how it works?”

She shrugged. “Sometimes. Or I just paint from memory. I thought I might do a painting of Blue for you, too. Not in my usual style, but more of a classic painting. I might take some pictures of him before I go, so that I can really get his likeness.”

“Your mother would have liked that,” he said.

Were those tears in his eyes? Ellie had never seen her dad cry, not even at the funeral. Anger had driven him then. Now, though, he seemed different—softer and more approachable. Perhaps he saw in her something of her mother. She liked that idea.

“So you don’t mind if I stay over?” she asked tentatively.

“Plenty of room,” he muttered. “Bedding will want airing, though.”

Ellie felt a warm wave of happiness wash over her. Her timing had been right; she was home at last.

* * *

AFTER A FEW HOURS of cleaning up the house, Ellie felt totally drained, having relived a million memories both happy and sad. Her dad had kept himself busy in the yard all afternoon. He came back into the house around supper time, preceded by Shadow, who burst into the kitchen and rolled onto his back for her to scratch his belly, legs raised ecstatically.

“Daft as a brush,” declared her dad.

“Can we take those pictures of Dennis and Blue after supper?” she asked. “It’s such a lovey evening, and I’d like to start on them as soon as I get back.”

“You’re going in the morning, then?”

Was that disappointment she could hear in his voice?

“I could stay until after lunch, I guess.”

“Please yourself,” he said.

Ellie felt a glow of happiness. Her dad could try to pretend he didn’t care, but his disappointment at her leaving the next day was obvious.

“I’ll be back soon, though,” she told him. “If you’ll have me.”

His silence spoke volumes.

* * *

AS ELLIE STARTED her car the next afternoon, to go back to her city life, she felt an acute sense of loss. She had been at Hope Farm for just one night, but already it felt like home again. Her dad was over by Blue’s stable, pretending not to care, but last night they had talked about her mum, finally, and about the stud and Bob’s hopes for the future. The two of them both had a long way to go, she was well aware of that, but at least they were getting back on track.

On impulse, Ellie switched off the engine and ran across the yard to give her dad a hug. He stood stock-still, awkwardly accepting her embrace.

“You’ll be back before too long, lass?”

“Yes...” The flicker of an idea formed inside her head. “I’ll be back before you know it, and I’ll stay for a few days, if you like.” She didn’t miss the indecision on his face, but she knew how to convince him. “I’ll finish the painting of Blue first and bring it with me.”

He nodded, returning her smile.

“I’ll look forward to seeing that,” he said. Ellie got back in her car and set off for Manchester. Her phone rang just as she hit the highway. She glanced at it and declined the call. Now wasn’t the right time to talk to Matt; she had way too much going on inside her head.

Her phone rang again as she opened the door to her apartment, and she heard a ping telling her she had a new message. Dumping her bags onto the floor, she listened to what he had to say.

“Hi, Ellie, are you back yet? We need to talk...about us. Call me when you get this.”

She stared at the phone. What was there to say? Plenty, she realized. They needed to figure out where their relationship was going, for a start—if anywhere. Perhaps it was just a convenient arrangement for both of them, nothing more meaningful.

Ellie had driven back in a euphoric cloud, a sense of well-being in her veins, but now she felt strangely empty and a little lost.

Everything she’d thought she wanted, her relationship with Matt, her job, her life in the city, seemed somehow less appealing. A vague longing lodged itself in her chest. A longing for what, though? she asked herself. What did she want? The longing to paint remained, to lose herself in her work, but what about Matt... What about love?

An image of Andy slipped past her barriers, and her chest tightened. He had seemed so genuine when he looked in through her car window at Cravendale, begging for her to stay in touch. His scent still lingered in her nostrils, as if he was here in the room with her, and the outlines of his face were so firmly etched in her brain that she could paint his likeness with her eyes closed. Was that what she should do? Would painting his image expel him from her psyche and heal those old wounds?

No, she decided, for then he would be forever staring at her...unless she just put the painting away in a cupboard somewhere. But what would be the point of that?

Determinedly pushing Andy to the back of her mind, she picked up her phone and dialed Matt.

“We need to talk,” he repeated when he picked up. His voice sounded distant and serious. “Meet me tonight, at Applejacks. I’ll pick you up, if you like.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll see you there about seven. Is everything all right, Matt?”

For a moment she thought he’d hung up, but then his deep voice cut through the silence. “You tell me. I’ll see you later.”

* * *

THE SUN WAS still shining when Ellie set off to walk to Applejacks, and as she strode purposefully along the sidewalk she couldn’t help thinking about the first time she met Matt there. It felt now as if they were two different people, and it hadn’t even been all that long ago. Perhaps they should have just gone for a walk down by the river instead, stayed out in the evening sun. It seemed a shame to miss it. Then again, Matt didn’t really do walks.

She saw him right away, sitting in a secluded corner and staring into his lager. He glanced around and caught her gaze, then stood up to greet her. He was so handsome and striking, she thought, with his sleek dark hair, designer clothes and clear, silvery gray eyes. So why wasn’t her heart racing as it used to?

“Did you sort out your deal?” she asked, sitting down.

He shrugged, handing her a glass of white wine. “Almost. Have a good time in the country?”

Her eyes lit up. “It was great to see my dad. We actually talked for the first time in years. I’m going back soon, to stay for a few days this time. He keeps the yard spotless, but the house is a mess. How’ve you been, anyway?”

“So-so...”

“You said you wanted to talk.” She took a sip of her wine before twirling the glass by its stem, watching the clear liquid swirl around and around.

Matt reached out to still her fingers, covering her hand with his.

“We’re both grown adults, Ellie, and we need to talk because as far as I can see, we’re going nowhere.”

She looked up at him, meeting disappointment in his eyes.

“Do you love me, Matt?” she asked on impulse.

His hand dropped away.

“Do you love me is perhaps more to the point.”

“I thought I did...”

“Until when, Ellie? What changed?”

She sighed heavily. “I don’t know. It’s just—”

“That we both seem to want different things,” he finished for her.

“And what do you want of me?” she asked.

His voice was full of passion. “I want you to be the same person I thought I met,” he said. “The person I got engaged to.”

“But I am that same person.”

“No, you’re not. You were fun loving and up for anything when I met you.” He drained his glass. “Now all you seem to want to do is paint...and go off for days in the country to get new material. When is the last time we went to a club, for instance? We used to go out all the time. And now you’re talking about going back home to sort your dad’s farm out. You never bothered before, so why now?”

“Maybe I’ve just grown up, Matt. Maybe I’ve realized there’s more to life than clubbing.”

He reached forward, taking hold of her chin with his thumb and forefinger. His touch was gentle. “The answer to your question is yes. I suppose I’ll always love you, Ellie, in a way, but it’s not enough anymore. We’re not on the same page.”

“And I still really care about you, but I feel that way, too,” she admitted.

He smiled, and Ellie thought she saw relief in his expression.

“Then I think we should have a break for a while, a total break, so that we can both decide where we are. You can go and do your country thing and I’ll meet up with some of my old friends again...catch up on what I’ve been missing.”

In a sudden flutter of panic, Ellie reached out to take hold of his hand, clutching it tightly in both of hers.

“Are you trying to tell me that we’re over?”

“I suppose I am... Is that a problem?”

Ellie shook her head slowly, staring at the man she had once intended to spend the rest of her life with. The panic faded and she withdrew her hands. “You may as well have this back then,” she said quietly, sliding off her diamond ring.

“No!” His objection was immediate, from the heart. “I never said I wanted the ring back.”

“What do you want then, Matt?”

“I told you... A proper break.”

“We’re over, Matt. I think we both know that.”

Taking the ring, he pressed it against her palm, closing his fingers around her hand.

“Don’t wear it, then. Just keep it for a while, say a couple of weeks or so. And then we’ll meet up again. If you’ve got this country thing out of your system...”

“Country thing!” Her voice was cold, her hands shaking. “I was born in the country, Matt.”

“Yes, and you hated it. That’s why you moved to the city.”

“No, I never hated the country. I just couldn’t stand the memories it held for me.”

“Exactly,” he declared. “And now you’ve changed. I loved the crazy girl I met, you see, but it feels as if she’s gone.”

“I’m still me, Matt. Aren’t you supposed to love me for myself?”

“And I’m still me. I’ve never made a secret of who I am.”

“So you’re saying that I have?”

Matt’s jaw tightened. “No,” he responded. “Of course not—well, not intentionally, anyway.”

Ellie stood up, reaching for her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

“I guess it’s goodbye, then.”

An acute sense of loss dragged through her chest as she kissed him on the cheek. He grabbed her arm, pulling her down to press his lips fiercely against hers.

“For now,” he murmured, releasing her. “Ring me when you’re ready.”

As she walked out of the bar, into the golden light of the late evening sun, Ellie’s sense of loss was replaced with a glimmer of excitement. She would never be ready to get back with Matt, she knew that now. There was so much to think about, so many memories still to relive. So many pictures to paint...beginning with Blue’s.

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