‘No?’ She laughed scornfully. ‘Come on, Adam, at least have the guts to tell me the truth. We both know that you didn’t want me along on this trip and we both know why, too.’

‘And that has nothing to do with my decision. I’m in charge of this team and it’s up to me what happens.’

‘Then why won’t you leave me in charge of this patient?’

‘Because it’s too dangerous, that’s why!’

He swung round and she took a step back when she saw the anger in his eyes.

Yet she knew on some inner level that it wasn’t directed at her but at himself.

‘I am simply not prepared to put your life at risk, Kasey. And if you don’t like it then there isn’t much I can do, because nothing you say or do will make me change my mind.’

‘I didn’t realise…’

It seemed too incredible to believe after what had gone on between them, yet there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he was telling her the truth.

Dear Reader

I have always been fascinated by the work that is carried out by overseas aid agencies, and really admire the courage and dedication of the brave doctors and nurses who volunteer to help other people under the most arduous conditions. Setting up my own fictional medical aid agency is my tribute to them.

The people who work for Worlds Together do so for many different reasons, but mainly because they want to help save lives. In this book surgeon Adam Chandler intends to do all he can to help the people of Mwuranda. He has hand-picked his team of volunteers and is confident that everyone going on this mission is the cream of the crop. It comes as a shock when one of his anaesthetists drops out and he is forced to accept the services of Kasey Harris.

Kasey isn’t sure why she volunteered to go to Mwuranda. She knows that Adam will give her a rough ride after she broke off their relationship, but she feels it’s time that they let bygones be bygones. However, it soon becomes apparent that she will have her work cut out if she wants to end the hostilities between them. What she has never anticipated is that working with Adam will arouse feelings which she’s tried to keep buried…

I really enjoyed helping Kasey and Adam work through their problems. However, no matter how difficult and dangerous their job is, it’s nothing compared to finally facing their true feelings for one another.

Watch out for more books in my Worlds Together series in the coming months.

Best wishes

JENNIFER TAYLOR

The Forever Assignment

Jennifer Taylor

www.millsandboon.co.uk

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CONTENTS

Cover

Dear Reader

Title Page

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

‘NO!’

Adam Chandler slammed his hand down on the desk. It was rare that he ever lost his temper and he could see the surprise on people’s faces as they turned to see what was happening.

The office was packed that day with members of his team and every single one of them had been hand-picked by him for their skills. Joan Simpson, for instance, was one of the world’s leading authorities on dengue fever—a virulent tropical disease—while Gordon Thompson knew more about typhus than any person alive.

Adam’s own speciality was reconstructive surgery and he knew without a shred of vanity that there were few people who could match him. This team was the cream of the crop and it had taken him months to put it together so it had been a huge blow when one of their anaesthetists had gone down with appendicitis the previous day. They were due to fly out to Mwuranda the following night and finding a replacement at such short notice had not been an easy task, so he’d been delighted when Shiloh Smith, the head of Worlds Together—the aid agency which was funding the trip—had phoned to tell him that he’d found the ideal candidate to go with them.

Adam had been on his way to Theatre at the time so he’d asked Shiloh to call at his office that afternoon and let him have the details then. There would be a lot of paperwork that would need to be completed before the newcomer could travel with them but he’d been confident he could get it done in time. Everything had been working out perfectly, in fact, until Shiloh had arrived and dropped his bombshell.

‘There is no way that I’m taking Kasey Harris along on this trip.’

‘That’s what she said you’d say.’ Shiloh laughed. ‘OK, so what’s the story? Do I take it that you two have a history?’

‘Ask Kasey,’ Adam replied shortly, standing up. He poured himself a cup of coffee, hoping Shiloh couldn’t tell how rattled he was. He and Kasey most definitely had a history although it wasn’t something he was prepared to discuss even with his oldest friend.

‘I already did and she gave me the same answer as you just did.’ Shiloh grinned. ‘I’m starting to build up a picture here. Do I take it that you and the lovely Dr Harris were rather more than colleagues at one point?’

‘You can take it any damn way you like,’ Adam retorted, refusing to be drawn into talking about that episode in his life.

He picked up the cup and carried it back to his desk, thinking about what had happened five years ago. He had fallen head over heels in love with Kasey Harris, had honestly believed that she had been in love with him, too, but he’d been wrong. She had simply used his feelings as a way to pay him back for what she’d believed he’d done to her brother and it was hard to accept that he’d been so gullible. He’d never been someone who allowed his emotions to run away with him but, as he had discovered to his cost, love made fools of even the sanest people. The thought did little to soothe him and he glowered at the other man.

‘My relationship with Kasey Harris isn’t open for discussion. Understand?’

‘OK. I get the message but it looks like we have a major problem on our hands, then.’

Shiloh sighed as he placed a sheet of paper on the desk. Adam tried not to look at it because he didn’t want to see the photograph that was stapled to the top left-hand corner.

His eyes slid sideways before he could stop them and heat roared along his veins when he saw Kasey’s face smiling up at him—that porcelain-fine skin, those deep blue eyes, that luscious mouth…

He dragged his gaze away and took a slug of coffee, relishing the way it scalded his tongue because it was easier to deal with physical pain than this mental torture. Shiloh was speaking again and he forced himself to concentrate on the most important issue which was finding another anaesthetist.

‘So we’re really stretched,’ Shiloh concluded. ‘As you know, we don’t usually run two missions together but we had no choice in this instance. We’d just received permission for you to take your team into Mwuranda when there was all that flooding in Guatemala. Once the Guatemalan government declared it a national disaster, we immediately sent out a team.’

‘I understand how difficult it is,’ Adam assured him. ‘But there must be someone else on your books.’

‘I wish there was but we’ve lost several key people recently for one reason or another so we’re having to recruit some new volunteers. Kasey’s application only came in last month and I have to admit that I was impressed when I interviewed her. She’s bright, personable and she knows her job, too. She’s just the sort of person we need, in fact.’

‘I’m not doubting her professional capabilities,’ he ground out. ‘I just don’t want to have to work with her.’

‘Then, as I said, we have a major problem. You need another anaesthetist to make this trip viable and there isn’t anyone else available. It’s your choice, Adam, but either you take her with you or you call off the trip.’

‘Some choice,’ Adam snorted because if he didn’t take the team to Mwuranda tomorrow as planned, there might not be another opportunity. There’d been civil unrest within the country for the past two years and there was no way of knowing how long the current ceasefire would last. He knew what a dire state the country was in because he’d witnessed it at first hand. The people there were desperately in need of medical aid—was he really prepared to stand aside and watch them suffer because he couldn’t deal with what had happened in the past?

‘It appears I don’t have much option,’ he said bitterly, glaring at the photograph. ‘If it’s a question of taking Kasey Harris along or not going, I’ll just have to grin and bear it, won’t I? But I want it put on record that I’m not happy about having her on my team.’

‘My, my, but your enthusiasm is overwhelming, Adam. You could sweep a girl right off her feet with that attitude.’

His head reared up when he recognised the gently lilting voice. Just for a moment it felt as though the whole room was spinning out of focus before his eyes settled on the woman standing in front of his desk. She looked exactly like her photograph, he thought sickly—slim, elegant, her lustrous black hair curling around her face, her blue eyes gleaming with laughter. Or was it tears that made them shimmer that way?

Adam rose unsteadily to his feet, almost as shocked by that idea as he was to see her. Kasey had never cried. Not once. Not even when he’d told her what he’d thought of her. He hadn’t held back, either, the words ripping out of him and into her, driven by pain and humiliation and sheer mind-numbing anguish. She had just stood there as the words rained down on her and smiled, and that had been his abiding memory all these years, the one that had caused him all those nightmares. Kasey Harris had smiled while she’d broken his heart.

Kasey held her smile but she knew how much it cost her even if Adam didn’t. It had been a shock when Shiloh had told her who was leading this mission, so much so that she’d almost backed out. But then it had struck her that if she refused to go, Adam would have won.

She’d made enough changes to her life in the past five years because of him and it was time to stop. She had to draw a line under what had happened even if she still hadn’t forgiven him for what he’d done to her brother. She doubted if Adam had forgiven her for what she’d done to him either, but that hadn’t been the issue until she’d walked into his office and heard what he’d said. Maybe it was silly to have let the harsh words upset her, but they had.

‘Come, come, Adam. It’s not like you to be lost for words,’ she taunted because she hated to admit that she was vulnerable in any way. She might regret why she’d had to do what she had but she didn’t regret the outcome. Adam had deserved everything he’d got after the appalling way he’d treated Keiran!

‘It isn’t. Obviously, you’ve scored one up on me, Kasey. Satisfied?’

His sardonic tone mocked her and she felt the angry colour run up her cheeks. It took every scrap of control she possessed not to tell him to go to hell and march straight out of the room only she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of thinking he’d scared her off.

‘It will do for a start,’ she said sweetly. ‘But I’ve never been one for resting on my laurels, as you know.’

His face darkened, the strong bones settling into such grim lines that a tremor ran through her. Adam had always been a force to be reckoned with and time had merely intensified that air of authority he possessed. He looked big and tough as he stood there glaring at her, his dark hair brushed smoothly back from his forehead, his green eyes piercing right to her very soul. He’d always been a handsome man and he still was, but there was no softness about him, no give, either in appearance or manner. He never compromised, never backed down, never showed any sign of weakness…apart from that night when she’d told him who she was.

The memory still had the power to disturb her so Kasey pushed it to the back of her mind as she turned to Shiloh. ‘I thought it would save time if I brought my documents over here. Everything is sorted out now—visa, official notification from the Foreign Office to say that I’m a member of the Worlds Together team, vaccination certificates, etcetera.’

‘Excellent!’

Shiloh smiled warmly at her, his welcoming attitude such a contrast to Adam’s that she couldn’t suppress the twinge of regret that speared through a corner of her heart. In other circumstances, she knew that she and Adam could have been friends but what had happened had ruled out that possibility. Just for a moment she found herself wondering if she had been mad to agree to spend the next month working with him. He would give her a rough ride, she wasn’t in any doubt of that. So was it worth putting herself under that kind of pressure to prove a point? She opened her mouth to explain that she’d changed her mind only Adam chose that very moment to speak.

‘I’m surprised you decided to join the agency. It doesn’t strike me as your sort of thing at all, Kasey.’

‘No?’ Her delicate brows arched as she turned to him. ‘Why not?’

‘From what I remember, you always enjoyed the good things in life—dining out, exotic holidays, beautiful clothes.’ His eyes skimmed over her, taking stock of the expensive black trouser suit she was wearing that day, and he laughed. ‘I do hope you know what you’re letting yourself in for.’

‘You mean I won’t be able to wear my Gucci loafers and Chanel suits while we’re in Mwuranda?’ She gasped in feigned horror. ‘Heavens above! How will I cope?’

‘Not very well with that attitude.’ His smile disappeared in a trice. ‘This isn’t a game. There’s been civil war in the country for the past two years and conditions there are about as bad as they can get. The people we will be treating have nothing left apart from their dignity and they certainly don’t need you making jokes at their expense.’

‘And you really think I need you to tell me that?’ She took a step towards him, incensed by his patronising manner. ‘I’m fully aware how bad the conditions are going to be, Adam. I’ve read the reports and I know what we’ll be dealing with.’

‘Do you really?’ He laughed softly, scorn lacing his deep voice so that she winced inwardly. ‘You may think you know what it’s like to work in a country where the whole infrastructure has broken down but until you experience the reality for yourself, you can’t possibly understand. It’s going to be tough—really tough—and I’m not sure you’re up to it.’

‘Then we shall just have to wait and see who’s right, won’t we?’ she said lightly. Maybe she didn’t have any experience of working under such extreme conditions but she’d cope. She had to because the alternative to letting him think she was beaten wasn’t an option. No matter how bad it was, she was going to complete this mission and show Adam bloody Chandler that he was wrong about her!

‘I’m sure Kasey understands it won’t be a picnic,’ Shiloh said soothingly. ‘Although, you’re quite right to worry, Adam, because it’s your job to ensure the safety and welfare of your team. However, let’s not get sidetracked at the moment. I’m afraid we have another problem to sort out. Your flights are all arranged but there’s been a bit of a hitch with the cargo.’

Kasey excused herself as the two men started to confer. She glanced around the room, wondering if she should introduce herself to the other members of the team. Shiloh had explained that they’d decided to hold a last-minute meeting to discuss any concerns the group might have and it might be an idea to let them know who she was. She made her way over to the corner where a group of women was standing and smiled at them.

‘Hi! I’m Kasey Harris. I’m stepping in as a last-minute replacement for one of your anaesthetists.’

‘Welcome aboard, Kasey.’ One of the women immediately drew her into the group. ‘I’m June Morris, one of the nurses. I keep saying I’m never going on another of these little jaunts but here I am again!’

Kasey laughed. ‘You must enjoy it.’

‘Enjoy being bitten by mozzies and sucked dry by leeches?’ June rolled her eyes. ‘Only a masochist would enjoy what we do, eh, girls?’

The other women laughed as Kasey grinned at them. ‘OK, so why do you do it? Is it the excitement of working in a new place, or the buzz of being able to make a difference to people’s lives?’

‘Probably a mixture of both,’ one of the women replied. She held out her hand. ‘I’m Katie Dexter, by the way, another of June’s little flock.’

‘Nice to meet you.’ Kasey shook hands. ‘So that’s two nurses so far. How many more of you are there?’

‘Just Lorraine and Mary.’ June explained, introducing the other two women. ‘We could have done with a couple more, to be honest, but Adam has been very choosy. He only wanted people with experience of working in the field along on this trip.’

Kasey grimaced. ‘Mmm, so I gathered.’

‘He didn’t seem too happy about you coming along,’ Katie put in hesitantly, and June laughed.

‘That’s an understatement if ever I heard one! I never thought I’d see the day when Adam Chandler lost his cool. He’s the proverbial ice-man but he hit the roof when Shiloh told him you were going to be on the team. Do I sense a juicy story?’

‘Not really.’ Kasey shrugged, trying to make light of what had gone on because she’d never told anyone what had happened between her and Adam. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of what she’d done but she wasn’t exactly proud of it either.

She sighed because it had all seemed so simple in the beginning, too. Her sole aim had been to show Adam that he couldn’t go around playing god with people’s lives the way he’d done with her brother. She’d decided to teach him a lesson he wouldn’t forget. She’d known about Adam’s reputation for being aloof, of course. Several of her friends had worked with him and they’d told her that he never mixed socially with his staff, but she hadn’t let that deter her. Someone had needed to show him how it felt to have your whole life torn apart. So she’d got herself a job at the hospital where he’d worked with the express intention of trying to foster a relationship between them and, in the event, it had been surprisingly easy to do.

Kasey shivered. Even now she could recall the shock of their first meeting, still remember the way her skin had tingled when he’d shaken her hand and how her body had responded to the gravelly sound of his voice. That Adam had been equally affected hadn’t been in any doubt, and it had scared her because it had been the last thing she’d expected, yet there had been no way that she could have backed out at that point. So she’d gone ahead with her plan—accepted his invitation to dinner the following night—even though she’d had qualms about what she’d been doing.

She’d been right to have doubts, too, she thought wryly, because it had soon become apparent that the situation was getting out of hand. Within the space of a few weeks, she realised that their feelings for one another were far deeper than she’d expected them to be and decided to call a halt. After all, she’d achieved her objective, so there was no reason to carry on, yet telling Adam the truth that night had been the hardest thing she’d ever had to do.

His reaction had been everything she had expected yet it had hurt far more than she’d imagined it would to hear him call her a ‘devious little liar’ and a ‘cold-hearted bitch’, and know that she’d deserved it. She had set out to deceive him. She had deliberately led him on, although, in her own defence, she’d simply wanted to teach him a lesson, not break his heart, and the thought was so painful all of a sudden that she rushed on.

‘We just had a difference of opinion once upon a time and he hasn’t forgiven me for it.’

‘Funny. It’s not like him to bear a grudge.’ June frowned as she glanced over to where Adam was standing. ‘Oh, he’s a real tartar when it comes to work and won’t accept anything less than a hundred and ten percent effort from his staff, but I’ve always found him very fair, I have to say.’

Kasey didn’t say anything. There was no point trying to correct June when it would only lead to more questions. However, Adam certainly hadn’t behaved fairly towards her brother. He’d made Keiran’s life hell with his constant criticisms when her brother had worked for him. It had been so bad, in fact, that Keiran had given up medicine in the end and it had been the start of a downward spiral from which he was only now recovering.

‘Kasey’s an unusual name. How do you spell it? With a K or a C?’

Kasey was relieved to turn her thoughts to less stressful topics when Lorraine spoke to her. ‘With a K. My name is actually Kathleen Christine but it caused no end of confusion when I was a child. My gran was called Kathleen, you see, and each of her sons wanted to name their first daughter after her.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘It wouldn’t have been a problem if all four of them hadn’t had a girl. At family get-togethers Gran used to shout ‘Kathleen’ and we’d all come running. In the end she decided it was easier to call us by the initial letters of our names so I ended up as Kasey and it just sort of stuck.’

June laughed. ‘You should fit right in, then. We’re really big on nicknames. You’ll find a lot of the folk who work for Worlds Together have them.’

‘Really? So what’s Adam’s nickname?’ she asked, grinning.

‘I don’t have one.’

She spun round when she recognised the gravelly voice and felt her pulse leap when she found Adam standing behind her. It was an effort to respond with an outward show of calm when her heart was hammering but there was no way that she was letting him have the upper hand. ‘Why not? Surely it’s not beneath your dignity to have a nickname, Adam?’

‘Not at all. I’ve no idea why I haven’t been given one. Maybe you could suggest something?’

He had batted the ball right back into her side of the court and Kasey drummed up a laugh. ‘Oh, I can think of a few which would suit you but it might be wiser to keep them to myself in the interests of team harmony.’

‘How very diplomatic of you, Kasey. You’re obviously on your best behaviour today because it’s not like you to hold back. I got the distinct impression the last time we met that you rather enjoy causing a stir.’

‘Did you? I really can’t remember what happened, I’m afraid. Would you care to remind me?’ she challenged. If he thought he was going to make her back down by bringing up the past, he was in for a shock.

‘Oh, I don’t think it would be appropriate to tell everyone, do you?’ His voice dropped, the gravelly tones taking on a velvet smoothness that made the tiny hairs on the back of her neck spring to attention. ‘Some things are best remembered in private, Kasey. And that is definitely one of them.’

He gave her a slow smile then walked away. There was a moment’s stunned silence after he’d left before June let out a small gasp.

‘Phew! I don’t know about the rest of you but I can definitely feel a hot flush coming on!’

Everyone laughed as June fanned herself with her hand. Kasey shot her a grateful look, glad the nurse had helped to dispel the tension, but she couldn’t deny that she was shaken by what had happened. She’d known that Adam wouldn’t welcome her with open arms and had been prepared for his wrath, but it hadn’t been anger that she’d seen in his eyes just now, had it?

A shudder ran through her as she quickly excused herself, hearing the chatter that broke out as soon as she moved away from the group. The other women had seen it too so there was no point trying to tell herself that she’d been mistaken. Adam hadn’t threatened her—he hadn’t needed to because he’d used a far more effective method of evening the score, one that would cause maximum damage. He’d taken the attraction they’d felt for one another five years ago and used it against her. Now all she could do was wait and see what happened. But it wasn’t going to be easy, was it?

She closed her eyes as panic gripped her. Maybe she did still blame Adam for ruining her brother’s life, but it hadn’t stopped her wanting him before and it might not be enough to stop her wanting him again.

CHAPTER TWO

‘IT’S not the ideal start by any means but we’ll just have to cope the best way we can.’

Adam looked around the room, hoping he’d managed to convince everyone that they shouldn’t let this latest setback deter them. His gaze landed on Kasey and lingered for a moment before he forced it to move on.

It had been a mistake to use that tone with her before and he couldn’t understand why he’d done it. The other women had picked up the sexual innuendo in his voice just as Kasey had done, and he hated to imagine what they must be thinking. He’d always guarded his private life, mainly because of the way he’d been brought up. As the only child of elderly parents who had discouraged any displays of emotion, he’d learned at an early age to keep his feelings to himself. It had only been when he’d met Kasey, in fact, that he’d opened up, and it was doubly galling to know that he hadn’t learned from his mistakes.

‘It should only be a couple of days before the bulk of our equipment arrives.’ He forced himself to concentrate on the problems they faced because it was pointless worrying about the mistakes he’d made, both past and present. ‘That means the theatre tents, generators, lighting equipment—things like that. We’ll be able to take all our drugs, dressings and surgical instruments with us because they’re within the weight restrictions so that’s something, at least.’

‘But where are we going to operate?’ David Preston, the other surgeon on the team, put in worriedly. ‘From what I’ve read, the hospitals over there are in an appalling state.’

‘My contact in Mwuranda has promised to get one of the theatres up and running before we arrive,’ Adam assured him. ‘We’ll be based in Arumba which is where the main hospital is situated. The equipment there will be very basic by our standards, of course, but that won’t matter too much because we’ll be taking all our surgical instruments with us. I’m confident that Matthias will be able to provide us with a sterile environment to work in and that’s the most important thing at the moment.’

‘What about the anaesthetic equipment?’ Kasey put in quietly. ‘It would be helpful to have some idea what’s available.’

‘I’ll have to check with Matthias about that and get back to you,’ he replied shortly, trying to keep the edge out of his voice, then sighed when he saw the look Mary and Lorraine exchanged. Obviously he’d failed to hide his feelings again and it was worrying to know how vulnerable he was around Kasey.

The thought was like the proverbial red rag and he had to make a conscious effort not to let her see how furious he was with her for putting him in this position. She must have known how hard he would find it to work with her yet she’d still gone ahead and joined the team. It just seemed to prove all over again how little she’d ever cared about him.

‘I suggest that you and Daniel work out if you’ll need to make any changes to the anaesthetic agents we’re taking with us.’ He handed her a printed list of the drugs, trying not to let that thought do any more damage. ‘You may need to order something to tide you over until our equipment arrives.’

‘Looks like we’d better dig out some old text-books,’ she said lightly, smiling at Daniel, who was sitting beside her. ‘I bet it’s been a while since you got out the ether.’

‘Too right! Still, I’m game for a bit of late-night swotting if you are, Kasey.’

Everyone laughed as Daniel leered suggestively at her. Adam stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets in case he gave in to the urge to thump the younger man on the nose. It was just the usual show of high-spirits everyone exhibited before setting off on a mission, he told himself sternly. It certainly didn’t mean that Daniel was seriously going to make a play for Kasey. However, it was hard to remain calm when he watched them leave the office together a short time later and it worried him that he should feel so possessive. Kasey had played him for a fool five years ago and he really shouldn’t care what she did!

‘Are you sure you’re up to handling this situation?’

He looked round when Shiloh approached him. ‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s obvious there’s still something going on between you and Kasey Harris so I’d understand if you decided to delay the trip until another anaesthetist can be found.’

‘No.’ Adam was shaking his head even before his friend had finished speaking. ‘There’s no way that I’m putting it off for Kasey Harris or anyone else, for that matter. I’ve spent months planning this visit and if we don’t go now, we might not get another chance.’

‘Fair enough but just go easy on yourself, eh.’ Shiloh clapped him on the shoulder. ‘None of us are immune when Cupid’s arrow strikes. I should know because the last thing I’d intended was to fall head over heels in love when I met Rachel!’

‘I’m not in love with Kasey!’ Adam denied hotly.

‘No? That’s OK then, isn’t it.’

Shiloh didn’t say anything else before he left. However, Adam knew that his friend hadn’t believed him. He sighed as he shut the door and sat down behind his desk because he couldn’t help wondering what he was going to do. He wasn’t in love with Kasey any more but he did still have feelings for her; that was obvious. He wasn’t sure exactly what sort of feelings they were but he would have to be on his guard from now on. He’d be thrown off balance by seeing her today but from this point on he would think of Dr Kasey Harris as just another member of his team. And if she didn’t come up to scratch, she would have to leave because he certainly wasn’t doing her any favours after what she’d done to him!

He groaned because his resolve to treat her as just another member of the team had lasted the whole of ten seconds. How on earth was he going to get through the next four weeks?

Kasey was the last to arrive at Worlds Together’s headquarters the following evening. Although, Shiloh had given her instructions on how to find the dockside warehouse, she must have taken a wrong turning somewhere along the way. She groaned as everyone sent up a resounding cheer when she walked into the building.

‘Sorry. I’ve no excuse for being late. I’m just a really rotten map reader!’

‘So long as you made it in the end,’ June said cheerfully. ‘Anyway, you’ve not missed much. Adam was just running through the rosters although they’ll probably change in a couple of days’ time. Once the heat’s on, everyone just mucks in and gets the job done.’

‘Fine by me,’ Kasey agreed, sitting down on a packing case. She glanced at Adam and raised her brows when he gave her a cold stare. She’d made up her mind last night that no matter what he said or did, she wasn’t going to react. Cool and professional seemed the best method of approach so she would stick to that.

‘Over to you then, Adam,’ she said sweetly.

‘As I was saying, we’ll work the usual twelve-hour shifts to start with. The important thing to remember is that we have to pace ourselves. I don’t want any heroics and people trying to prove they can do the job better than anyone else because it will cause more problems than it will solve. We need good, steady work and that’s all.’

He ignored her as he looked around the assembled group but she could tell from his tone that his remarks had been aimed at her. After all, she was the only one without any experience of working in the field so he didn’t need to remind the others about what was required of them. Her temper moved a notch up the scale although she forbore to say anything. If Adam was trying to provoke a reaction, he’d have to try harder than that.

‘I’m afraid that conditions are worse than I thought. My contact, Matthias, managed to get a message to me last night to warn me that there are several rebel groups still active in the area where we’ll be based. The Mwurandan government is doing everything it can to restore order but there’s no guarantee they’ll have the situation under control by the time we arrive.’

Once again his gaze swept over them and once again he ignored her. Kasey’s temper moved another notch up the scale.

‘This mission is going to be both difficult and dangerous,’ he concluded. ‘So if anyone wishes to back out, now is the time to do so.’

This time his gaze landed squarely on her and her spine stiffened when she saw the challenge in his eyes. It was obvious that he didn’t believe she was up to the job and it stung to know what a poor opinion he had of her.

‘If that was directed at me, Adam, then I hate to disappoint you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.’

‘It wasn’t directed specifically at anyone. I just want to be sure that everyone understands the problems we will have to face.’

She flushed when she heard the dismissive note in his voice. She knew that he’d used it deliberately to cut her down to size and didn’t need the sympathetic smile June gave her to prove that. The meeting broke up shortly afterwards but she knew that she had to sort out the situation soon. It would be hard enough to cope with the pressures of the job without having Adam getting at her all the time. When he left the main part of the warehouse, she followed him.

‘We need to talk—’

‘I haven’t time to soothe your injured feelings,’ he said shortly, striding into the office. ‘If you don’t like the way I treated you then you know what to do.’

‘And that’s what you want, is it? You want me to leave?’

‘Frankly, I don’t give a damn what you do, Kasey. What I won’t put up with is you expecting special treatment.’ He sat down behind the overflowing desk and picked up a bundle of papers. ‘You’re just another member of the team as far as I’m concerned so don’t go getting it into your head that I’m singling you out.’

‘Rubbish! You wouldn’t have spoken that way to any of the others.’ Her anger rocketed the rest of the way up the scale and she glared at him. ‘You don’t want me on this team because of what happened five years ago so don’t try telling me that you aren’t singling me out when it’s blatantly obvious that’s exactly what you are doing. You haven’t forgiven me for what I did to you, have you, Adam? You can’t accept that I got the better of you!’

‘You’re wrong. I accepted it at the same time I accepted what a fool I’d been to think I was in love with you.’ His eyes grazed over her, filled with such contempt that her heart trembled with sudden pain. ‘The truth is that I was never in love with you, Kasey. The woman I loved was an illusion, someone you conjured up to pay me back for what you mistakenly believed I’d done to your brother. And that Kasey Harris doesn’t exist.’

He pushed back his chair and stood up. Kasey didn’t move as he brushed past her. She couldn’t because movement demanded too much effort. What Adam had accused her of doing was true. She had set out to make him fall for her because of what he’d done to Keiran. What he was wrong about was that she’d taken on a different persona or, as he’d put it, conjured up a different Kasey Harris. She hadn’t needed to do that because from the moment they’d met she had responded to him instinctively.

A sob welled to her lips but she bit it back because there was no point crying now. It wouldn’t help and certainly wouldn’t change what had happened. The truth was that the Kasey Harris he’d fallen in love with had been her real self; the woman who had broken his heart had been the myth, the person she’d created. And what made it all so much worse was that Adam would never believe her if she told him that.

‘Not exactly the Hilton, is it?’

‘Oh, I don’t know. It has a certain exotic charm,’ Kasey replied in response to June’s quip.

They’d just arrived at the hostel where they would be living during their stay in Mwuranda after a long and tiring journey. Their plane had turned out to be an old cargo aircraft, chartered by the Red Cross to deliver a consignment of food and clothing to the country. Make-shift seats had been squeezed into the hold between the packing cases so the noise of the engines had been deafening. After all those hours spent in such noisy and cramped surroundings anywhere looked good.

‘Exotic is right.’ June swatted a massive cockroach off the chest of drawers and shuddered. ‘You don’t get wildlife this big in Surbiton!’

‘Look on the bright side,’ Kasey said, chuckling. ‘Once you’ve dealt with one of these little suckers, your average British beetle is child’s play!’

She looked round when Lorraine and Mary suddenly appeared. There were four beds in the room and they’d obviously decided to join them. ‘Welcome to the bridal suite,’ she declared in her most unctuous tone. ‘We hope your stay here will be everything you expect it to be.’

‘Sadly, that will probably turn out to be the case,’ Lorraine said pithily, looking round. ‘What a dump. It’s a good job my Tim didn’t book us into somewhere like this for our honeymoon or it would have been the shortest marriage on record!’

‘You mean you don’t like it?’ Kasey looked affronted as she swept the cover off one of the narrow single beds. ‘No expense has been spared to provide us with the ultimate in comfort. I mean, just inhale that aroma. Eau de mildew if I’m not mistaken.’

‘You were warned about the conditions before you came, Dr Harris, so I hope you aren’t going to bombard us with an on-going litany of complaints.’

Kasey swung round when she heard Adam’s voice coming from the doorway. She hadn’t spoken to him to since he’d walked out of the office the previous night. He’d been sitting near the front of the plane when she’d boarded it so she’d deliberately chosen a seat at the rear to avoid him. However, his attitude towards her obviously hadn’t softened during the journey, she realised when she saw the chill in his eyes.

‘I wasn’t complaining, Dr Chandler. I was merely making an observation. I assume it isn’t against the rules to voice an opinion?’

‘Not so long as it doesn’t create unrest within the team.’ He stared back at her, unwilling to give an inch let alone concede that he might possibly be over-reacting. ‘Team harmony is essential and I shall come down extremely hard on anyone who undermines it.’

He didn’t add anything else before he went on his way but he’d said more than enough by that point. June grimaced.

‘Someone seems to have left his sense of humour at home. Try not to let it get to you, Kasey. His bark really is worse than his bite.’

‘I’m not sure if I want to test out that theory,’ she replied lightly, not wanting the others to know how much it had hurt to be spoken to in that fashion. The fact that it had been so unjust to reprimand her was what really rankled but there was little she could do about it. If she caused a fuss then Adam would accuse her of disrupting the team and use it as an excuse to send her back to England.

Well, if that was what he was hoping for, he was going to be disappointed, she decided, stiffening her spine. She could put up with anything he cared to dish out!

They unpacked their bags then June checked her watch. ‘It’s only four o’clock so how about a tour of the building before dinner to get our bearings?’

‘Good idea,’ Kasey agreed immediately although the other two shook their heads.

‘I’m bushed,’ Mary exclaimed, sinking down onto one of the beds. ‘I need a bit of shut-eye if I’m to be the life and soul of the party this evening.’

‘What party?’ Kasey asked in surprise.

‘Oh, it’s a bit of a tradition with Adam. He always has a get-together on our first night,’ Lorraine explained. ‘He sees it as a way for us all to bond. Anyhow, I think I’ll follow Mary’s example and test out the bed springs while you two intrepid souls go exploring. Have fun.’

‘We’ll do our best,’ Kasey replied, following June out of the room.

They made their way along the corridor, peering into the rooms they passed. They’d been told that the hostel had been used by students from the local college before the rebel uprising and the facilities were very basic. All the bedrooms were fitted out exactly like their room with four single beds and a chest of drawers. There was no carpet on any of the floors but the worn brown linoleum had been swept clean. There was also a small bathroom at the end of the corridor with a lavatory next to it and she heaved a sigh of relief.

‘At least we have indoor plumbing. I had visions of having to creep out of the building in the middle of the night to go to the loo.’

‘All mod cons by the look of it,’ June declared, flushing the toilet.

They made their way up the stairs to the floor above which was exactly the same: bedrooms with a bathroom and a lavatory at the end of the corridor. Although everywhere smelled a little musty, it was obvious that attempts had been made to clean the place in readiness for their arrival.

‘It’s better than I expected,’ Kasey admitted as they went down to the ground floor where a large square entrance hall led to a sitting room on one side and a dining room on the other with the kitchen and storerooms beyond that.

‘It is. I had no idea what to expect when Adam told me where we would be staying.’ June shrugged when she looked at her in surprise. ‘Although I’ve been on a lot of missions, I’ve never been to an area like this before where they’ve only recently stopped fighting so I wasn’t sure how bad the facilities would be.’

‘I see. That makes me feel a bit better. I thought I was the only one who didn’t have any experience and you were all old hands at this game,’ she confessed wryly.

‘Not at all. OK, so most of us have worked overseas and you haven’t but working in a war zone will be a whole new experience for all of us except Adam, of course. He’s already done a stint here.’

‘Really?’ Kasey stopped and stared at her. ‘Adam’s worked here before?’

‘Yes. Didn’t you know? He spent a year in Mwuranda with a French aid team but they pulled out when the fighting started. Adam decided to stay on and he only came back to England because he was injured, quite badly, too, I believe, although he never talks about it.’ June sighed. ‘I always thought there was more to it than just a desire to help which kept him here. It was almost as though he didn’t care about his own safety.’

‘When did this all happen?’ she asked slowly, feeling a cold chill envelop her.

‘I’m not sure…four, five years ago. Something like that.’

Which would be shortly after she’d told him how she’d tricked him, she realised sickly. Had that been the reason why Adam had shown such disregard for his own safety..because he’d been so upset by what she’d done that he’d no longer cared what had happened to him? She didn’t want to believe it but the timing pointed towards it being true. Frankly, she didn’t know how it made her feel to know that he’d put his life in danger because of her actions, but it did make her see how difficult it would be to resolve their differences.

She frowned. Was that what she really wanted, though? Initially, all she’d hoped to do was draw a line under the past but, strangely, it no longer seemed enough. She’d never been someone who enjoyed being at odds with other people; it simply wasn’t in her nature. Maybe that was why she’d found it so difficult to put the whole unhappy episode behind her. It had played constantly on her mind so maybe it was time to try and end the hostilities between them, although it wouldn’t be easy, of course.

Her heart suddenly sank because the thought that she might never be able to make her peace with him was very hard to bear, for some reason.

Dinner that night turned out to be quite a convivial affair. The catering team did them proud, serving up a meal which would have put many high-class restaurants to shame. Kasey found it a little daunting at first to be thrown in at the deep end and expected to mingle. Everyone else had worked together at some point and she couldn’t help feeling like the outsider. Although she knew that she could tag along with June and the other nurses, she didn’t want to get in the way when they were obviously eager to catch up with what their friends had been doing.

In the end it was Daniel who saved the day. He took it upon himself to introduce her to everyone present and soon put her at her ease as he filled her in on people’s backgrounds. He also insisted she sit with him at dinner and regaled her with stories of other missions he’d been on so that by the end of the evening Kasey felt more like one of the team. The only disquieting note throughout the whole evening, in fact, was that Adam ignored her. He spoke to everyone else present but made no attempt to speak to her. It was as though she didn’t exist and she had to admit that it hurt to be treated in such an off-hand fashion.

The party finally broke up around midnight. Everyone was worn out after the journey and started to drift away. Daniel begged her to stay and have a final cup of coffee with him but she refused first of all because she was tired and secondly because she didn’t want him getting the wrong idea. She liked Daniel but there was no way that she was going to risk inciting Adam’s wrath by getting romantically involved with him or anyone else.

She bade Daniel a studiedly casual goodnight and made her way across the hall. Most people had gone straight up to bed so there was nobody about. She headed towards the stairs then paused as she passed the front door. Even though she was bone-tired as well, she desperately needed a breath of fresh air before turning in for the night.

She let herself out of the hostel and walked down the path, carefully picking her way through the rubble. Like most of the buildings they’d passed on the drive from the airfield, the hostel had suffered extensive damage during the recent fighting. Kasey stopped when she reached a clump of straggly bushes and looked back at the building, trying to imagine what it must have been like for the students who’d lived there during those troubled times. It must have been awful for them, living in constant danger—

The sharp report of a rifle cracked through the still night air and she jumped. She spun round to see where the shot had come from then gasped in alarm when a figure suddenly mate-rialised out of the shadows and hurled her to the ground.

‘Let me go,’ she screamed, punching the man’s broad back with her clenched fists. ‘Let…me…go, damn you!’

‘For God’s sake, woman!’ Adam’s face suddenly loomed into view and she gulped when she realised that he was her attacker.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ she snapped, glaring up at him.

‘Saving your damned life.’ He put his hand over her mouth when she went to speak. ‘Just shut up, Kasey. There’s someone out there shooting at us so this is neither the time nor the place to discuss your injured feelings.’

Kasey fell silent, not that she could have said very much with his hand clamped over her mouth. She could feel the hard pressure of his fingers on her lips and a tingle of awareness that was totally inappropriate for the seriousness of the situation scudded through her. All of a sudden she became alarmingly aware of the intimacy of their position. Adam was lying right on top of her, his broad chest squashing her breasts, his hips and thighs crushing her against the rocky ground. Every muscle in his body was rigid with tension as he drew back his head and looked around the clearing, and a small moan rushed up her throat because she could feel every single one of them.

Intimately.

Trapezius, pectoralis major, deltoid, obliquuos externus…She made herself recite the names of all those muscles from memory, hoping it would help if she focused on some basic anatomy rather than the effect they were having on her. It worked to a point until another volley of shots suddenly cracked through the air. Yelping in fear, she buried her face in his chest and wrapped her arms around him. He felt so big and solid that she clung fast, using him as her rock in an unstable world.

‘It’s OK.’ His hand strayed from her mouth and her heart leapt again when she felt his fingers gently stroking her hair. ‘They’re not firing at us. Whoever they’re aiming at is in those trees over to our left.’

His voice rumbled up from his chest and she shuddered when she felt its vibrations rippling into her. Adam obviously misunderstood her reaction because his tone deepened, taking on the soothing cadence people use with the very scared.

‘They probably don’t even know we’re here, Kasey, so all we need to do is sit tight until it’s over. OK?’

‘OK,’ she muttered in mortification, because if she’d hoped to impress him with her sang-froid under fire she’d obviously failed.

They stayed where they were for another ten minutes, although it felt a lot longer than that to her. It wasn’t just the fact that Adam was squashing her with his weight that bothered her so much, but that she was enjoying the experience. She should have loathed this kind of intimate contact with him but although her mind knew that, her body didn’t. Every time he shifted his weight, she had to make a conscious effort not to respond so that it was a relief when he finally decided the danger had passed.

‘Stay there while I check out the lie of the land,’ he instructed tersely, easing himself away from her. He cautiously stood up, keeping well back into the shadows as he looked around for the gunman.

‘He seems to have gone,’ he said at last, glancing down at her. ‘Let’s get back inside but keep your head down and stay close to the bushes just in case.’

Kasey scrambled to her feet and brushed the grit off her backside, wincing when her fingers encountered a dozen different sore spots caused by being squashed on the stony ground. Adam took another quick look around then pointed towards the path, silently indicating that she should go ahead of him.

They’d almost reached the front doors of the hostel when a man suddenly appeared from around the side of the building. Kasey didn’t have time to react as Adam grabbed hold of her and thrust her behind him, using himself as a shield in case the man had a gun, but even as they watched, the stranger dropped to his knees then slumped face down onto the ground.

‘Looks like he’s the guy who was being shot at,’ Adam shouted as he ran forward. Kasey raced after him, dropping to her knees and staring in horror at the gaping wound in the back of the young man’s right shoulder.

‘He’s been hit, and more than once, by the look of it.’ Adam pointed to the twin exit wounds caused when the bullets had torn through the flesh. ‘I’m not sure how many bullets were fired so there might be others still inside him. I’ll have to check. There’s bound to be extensive soft tissue damage, though, and possibly some damage to the shoulder joint so it’s going to take some time to sort it all out.’

‘You’re going to operate?’ she exclaimed.

‘Of course.’ He frowned. ‘Although I’m not sure where would be the best place to use. One of the bedrooms would be easiest but the lighting is too poor for this kind of intricate surgery.’

‘You mean that you’re going to operate here?’

‘Yes. It’s far too risky to take him to the hospital. Matthias warned me that we mustn’t drive around at night so we’ll have to make do with whatever facilities we have here and simply hope for the best.’

‘I see,’ she murmured, trying to get her head round what was going on. Obviously Adam was less concerned about the injured man being a terrorist than he was about saving his life, so she made herself focus on the problem of finding a suitable place to use as a makeshift operating theatre. It would need to be somewhere with decent lighting, as he’d pointed out, and it would also help if they had access to water for washing.

‘How about the dining room?’ she suggested. ‘The lighting isn’t too bad in there and we have direct access to the kitchen. We can use one of the tables as a temporary operating table, too.’

‘Good choice. Can you get everything set up while I bring him inside? I just need to stop this bleeding before I move him.’

‘Here.’ She quickly unbuttoned her blouse and handed it to him, thankful that she’d decided to wear a T-shirt underneath and was still decently covered up.

Adam chuckled as he took it from her and bound it tightly over the wound in the man’s shoulder. ‘It should have been a petticoat, by rights, of course.’

‘Like in all those old western movies? Every time someone got shot, the heroine would start ripping up her petticoat for bandages. Unfortunately, it’s not quite what the modern woman wears,’ she told him pithily, and he laughed out loud.

‘Sadly not. Jeans and a T-shirt seem to fit the bill nowadays for most occasions.’ He smiled up at her, his green eyes sparkling with laughter, and her breath caught because the change it brought to his expression was enough to make her heart race. ‘Still, some women manage to look good no matter what they wear.’

Kasey wasn’t sure if the compliment had been aimed specifically at her or if it had been a general observation, and didn’t allow herself to speculate. There really wasn’t time to think about it right then, despite how tempting it was. She made her way back inside the hostel where she was greeted with relief by the rest of the team, who’d heard the commotion and had gathered in the hall.

She quickly explained what had happened, carefully omitting any mention of how Adam had tried to protect her after that first gunshot. However, she saw the speculation on several people’s faces when they realised that she and Adam had both been outside when the shooting had started and knew they were putting their own interpretation on the facts.

Kasey didn’t attempt to correct them—she knew it would probably make matters worse if she tried to explain that they hadn’t arranged to meet in the grounds of the hostel—but it was unsettling to know that she and Adam were being linked together like this. It was an added pressure she could have done without but, fortunately, there was too much to do to worry about it. As soon as she’d sorted out some volunteers to help, she headed for the kitchen to get everything ready.

‘We’ll use one of the tables,’ she instructed, pointing to the largest of the refectory tables. ‘If you can move it directly under the central light fitting, that would be best.’

Daniel and Alan Jones, their radiographer, immediately set to and moved the heavy table into position while she and June went to find some theatre drapes and dressings. Their equipment had been piled into one of the empty storerooms off the kitchen and it didn’t take them long to sort out what they needed. Kasey also collected a set of sterile surgical instruments, although she didn’t break open the pack but just placed it on a nearby table. Adam could open it once he was ready to operate.

‘Everything sorted?’

Adam came into the room with the injured man draped over his shoulders. Daniel and Alan helped him lie the man on the table then he looked round. ‘Right. I don’t need all of you here so I’ll just take a couple of volunteers. June will you do the honours? And, Daniel if you could cover the anaesthetic?’

‘Excuse me?’ Kasey stepped forward, barely able to contain her annoyance at the way he had deliberately cut her out of the proceedings. ‘There’s no need to involve Daniel. I’m perfectly capable of handling this.’

‘You had a shock tonight,’ he replied curtly, walking into the kitchen and turning on the old-fashioned, hot-water geyser. ‘I suggest you get a good night’s sleep and give yourself time to get over it.’

‘Was that a suggestion or an order?’ she demanded, following him into the room.

‘It’s simple common sense.’ He pumped a handful of antiseptic solution out of the dispenser she’d placed there for them to use and lathered his forearms.

‘In that case, wouldn’t it be sensible if you excused yourself as well?’ She stared back at him, experiencing a pang of regret when she saw the flicker of annoyance that had lit his green eyes. There was no sign of amusement in them now. ‘You were shot at, too, Adam, don’t forget, so you had just as big a shock as me. If I’m not up to handling this job, neither are you.’

‘I shall decide whether or not I’m fit to operate.’

‘And I shall decide whether or not I’m fit to act as your anaesthetist.’

She stared back at him, knowing that if she lost this battle it wouldn’t be worth her staying on in Mwuranda. If he didn’t trust her to do her job then she would have to go home. Maybe she could put up with his hostility on a personal level but she refused to compromise when it came to her work.

‘Fair enough.’

He inclined his head in brief acknowledgement then spun round on his heel. Kasey let out her breath in a small sigh of relief, only then acknowledging how important it was to her that she should be allowed to stay. She quickly scrubbed up and put on a gown then went back to the kitchen. June had set up a drip and was now cleaning the injured man’s shoulder with antiseptic solution. The rest of the team had gone back to bed, so all she could hope was that Adam’s apparent lack of faith in her hadn’t caused any long-term damage. It would be difficult to work with the other members of the team if they had doubts about her ability.

It was a sobering thought and it put her on her mettle as she began anaesthetising the patient. Without the aid of artificial ventilation equipment, she couldn’t administer a muscle relaxant otherwise the patient wouldn’t be able to breathe, so she opted for an anaesthetic agent and pain relief, administering the drugs via a cannula in the back of the man’s hand because it would be easy to top up the drugs throughout the operation.

The lack of modern equipment also meant that she would have to rely more heavily on physical signs to ensure the patient was maintained at a suitable level of unconsciousness. Increased sweating and salivation, irregular breathing, changes in muscle tone and eye movement were all indications that a patient was receiving an inadequate level of anaesthesia. She would also need to monitor his general status through his heart rate and blood pressure, so she would be kept busy, but she had no doubts about her ability to do the job. She was a first-rate anaesthetist and she intended to prove that to Adam and everyone else on the team.

‘I’ll just get this mess tidied up first.’

Adam snapped on a second pair of gloves as he came over to the table. They were all wearing a double layer of gloves because they’d been warned about the dangers of HIV. He quickly debrided the torn flesh surrounding the exit wounds then removed some splinters of bone that had sheared off from the shoulder joint. He delicately probed the trajectory the bullets had taken with his finger and shook his head.

‘No sign of any more bullets lodged in there, I’m pleased to say.’

Kasey nodded, not wanting anything to distract her as she checked the patient’s BP. It was a little on the low side, which wasn’t unusual considering the amount of blood he’d lost, but she still reported her findings.

‘BP’s a bit low. I’ll increase the drip.’

‘Fine.’ Adam barely glanced at her as he began the delicate task of repairing the torn shoulder muscle. He shook his head. ‘There’s a tear right through the deltoid. It’s going to need a lot of physio to get this arm moving properly again.’

Once again Kasey didn’t say anything. She was too busy checking her patient. His skin was dry to the touch and there was no sign of an increase in his temperature, which were both good signs.

‘How’s he doing so far?’

She looked up when Adam spoke to her, feeling her tension lessen just a little when she saw no sign of concern in the green eyes that were watching her over the top of his face mask. ‘He’s stable at the moment. BP has levelled out and his temperature is normal. Pulse rate and breathing are both within acceptable levels.’

‘Good.’

He gave her the ghost of a smile, only visible by the slight lifting at the corners of his eyes, and she huffed out a tiny sigh of relief at having passed muster. June handed him a scalpel then winked at her, and Kasey chuckled. June had obviously noted the small improvement in his attitude towards her so all she could do now was hope that it would last.

They carried on in surprising harmony after that until Adam nodded. ‘That’s about all I can do for now. I’ll just pack the wound and leave it open to drain. Infection is always a major problem with this type of injury because the bullet carries all sorts of gunk into the body, but we’ll just have to deal with it as and when it happens. There might be other damage, of course. A high-velocity gunshot injury causes shock waves to pass through the body but we’ll have to wait for the X-rays before we can know for certain what’s happened.’

‘Will you do the X-rays here or at the hospital?’ Kasey asked.

‘Hospital. We’ll have him moved over there tomorrow if he’s fit enough to withstand the journey.’

Adam slid a drainage tube into the wound, packed it with layers of gauze then covered it with a light dressing before they rolled the patient onto his side so he could dress the entry wounds, which were far smaller—no bigger than a couple of ten-pence pieces.

‘It might be best if we kept him sedated tonight,’ he told her when he’d finished. ‘We have no idea who he is and I don’t want to take the chance of him wandering around during the night.’

‘I’ll sort it out,’ she assured him as June went to fetch some more dressings from the storeroom. ‘And I’ll stay with him, of course, to make sure there isn’t a problem.’

‘There’s no need. I’ll do it myself.’

He turned away but if he thought she was letting him get away with that, he could think again. She grabbed hold of his arm, her blue eyes filled with a mixture of pain and injured pride as she stared into his face.

‘What is it with you, Adam? Do you get a thrill out of undermining me all the time? Or are you hoping that I’ll crack if you keep on pushing me? I know I hurt you—’

‘It has nothing to do with what happened between us,’ he said curtly, shrugging off her hand.

‘No?’ She laughed scornfully. ‘Come on, Adam, at least have the guts to tell me the truth. We both know that you didn’t want me along on this trip and we both know why, too.’

‘And that has nothing whatsoever to do with my decision to take charge of this patient tonight.’

He brushed past her, his face like thunder as he stripped off his gloves and tossed them into the waste sack. Kasey followed him into the kitchen, too incensed to care if she was making matters worse. Maybe she should accept his decision, but how could she when it seemed to be yet another deliberate slight?

‘Then what does it have to do with? I think I deserve an answer, Adam.’

‘I don’t have to give you an answer.’ He gripped hold of the sink and she could tell that he was struggling to keep a rein on his temper. ‘I’m in charge of this team and it’s up to me what happens.’

‘I should have known you’d take the easy way out,’ she scoffed. ‘You’re very good at finding fault with people but you’re not so good when it comes to backing it up with cold, hard facts.’

‘I am not finding fault with you or your work!’

‘Then why won’t you leave me in charge of this patient?’

‘Because it’s too bloody dangerous, that’s why!’

He swung round and she took a step back when she saw the anger in his eyes yet she knew on some inner level that it wasn’t directed at her but at himself. Her heart began to pound so that it was difficult to hear what he was saying as he continued in the same biting tone.

‘I am simply not prepared to put your life at risk, Kasey. And if you don’t like it then there isn’t much I can do because nothing you say or do will make me change my mind.’

‘I didn’t realise…’

She stopped and swallowed because she couldn’t seem to find the right words to explain that she’d never expected him to be concerned about her safety. It seemed too incredible to believe after what had gone on between them, yet there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he was telling her the truth.

‘If you could just make sure that he’ll be unconscious for the rest of the night that will be fine.’ His tone was less abrasive now, softer, and she took a deep breath as her anger suddenly melted away leaving her feeling incredibly vulnerable.

‘Of course,’ she murmured, turning to hurry back into the dining room before he realised how shaken she felt.

Adam followed her and her heart ached when she glanced up and saw him standing at the end of the table. He looked so tired and drawn, his skin tinged with the grey hue of fatigue, that all of a sudden she felt her eyes welling with tears. It was her presence that had caused him to look like this and it wasn’t what she’d intended. She’d come on this trip first and foremost to make the lives of the people they treated that bit better, not to make his life more stressful.

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, overwhelmed by guilt.

‘Because you stood up for yourself?’ He shrugged. ‘I’d have done the same thing, Kasey, so there’s no need to apologise.’

‘I’m sorry for making things difficult for you,’ she corrected, wanting—needing—to explain. ‘I never meant to do that.’

‘Didn’t you?’ His voice sounded flat, emotionless, and she sighed, understanding why he found it so hard to believe her.

‘No,’ she said briefly, because there was no point trying to convince him when he didn’t want to be convinced. She topped up the patient’s anaesthetic then checked his vital signs one last time and stepped away from the table.

‘He should be OK now but you can top up the anaesthetic if you need to. I’ve left everything ready for you.’ She pointed to the vials of drugs then made her way to the door. ‘Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight, Kasey. And thank you.’

She didn’t pause, didn’t turn back to ask him what exactly he was thanking her for, because she knew what his answer would be and that it wasn’t the one she really wanted to hear. Adam was thanking her for her work that night, for acting as his anaesthetist and doing her job well. Every surgeon she’d ever worked with had done that because it was what was expected of one professional to another. However, as she made her way upstairs, she couldn’t help wishing that Adam’s thanks had been a bit more personal, that he’d thanked her for being her, not just a colleague.

It made her see just how ambivalent her feelings were towards him, and how hard it was going to be to work with him because of that. She might be ready to fight tooth and nail to uphold her status within the team but it didn’t mean that she didn’t want Adam’s approval, did it?

All of a sudden it felt as though she’d come full circle and was back to where she’d been five years ago, when wanting and hating Adam had almost destroyed her. Would she survive this time?

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