Beyond passion. And beyond their control…

Five years ago, Tuesday Eastwood’s life collapsed and left her devastated. After an empty, nomadic existence, she’s finally pieced her life back together in the small Oregon town of Hood River. Now Tuesday has everything sorted out. Just so long as men are kept for sex, and only sex…

Then she met him.

Musician and rancher Ezra Hurley isn’t the man of Tuesday’s dreams. He’s a verboten fantasy—a man tortured by past addictions whose dark charisma and long, lean body promise delicious carnality. But this craving goes far beyond chemistry. It’s primal. It’s insatiable. And it won’t be satisfied until they’re both consumed, body and soul…

Broken Open

Lauren Dane

www.millsandboon.co.uk

MILLS & BOON

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This one goes out to the boy who bought me a rum and Coke

in Paris and let me rant at him for hours

after an upsetting phone call.

Thank you for always having my back and feeding me liquor.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Title Page

Dedication

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

Before: December

HER WORKDAY OVER, Tuesday Eastwood turned the display lights up before locking her front doors. That’s when she realized how cold it was and flipped her collar against the wind with one hand while hurrying to where she’d parked her car.

As she paused to cross at the corner and look both ways, she caught sight of Ezra Hurley. It wasn’t one of those moments when you caught sight of a person and then realized who it was once they got closer.

No, she knew it was Ezra because for some befuddling reason she was hyperaware of him. He looked good as he waited for traffic, a grin on his face.

In the entirety of her life no one had ever made her belly feel the same quivery, excited swoop when she looked at him. At the rugged, masculine lines of his features. Like his brothers, yes, he was attractive. But he wore it differently than the other three brothers did.

Ezra Hurley was a Capital M Man. In that riding horses, baling hay, hands in the dirt, well-worn jeans way. Well-worn jeans that currently cradled a rear end that a sculptor would drool over. The kind of being who seemed to emanate utter capability.

How or why that was so hot to her Tuesday didn’t know. But it was.

Even in a wool cap and a peacoat he radiated that something special he tossed around like catnip. In addition to being a rancher, he was a rock star. A onetime hard-living, jet-setting, arena-filling rock star fallen to earth, crashing and burning.

The flames had left him imperfect. But no less compelling.

“Hey, Tuesday.” He reached the spot where she’d been rooted as she thought about him naked.

“Ezra. What brings you out tonight?”

“Errands. I was just planning to grab some dinner and head back home.” He paused for just a moment. “What are you up to right now? Want to have dinner with me?”

She nodded even though she knew it was a bad idea. Ezra wasn’t just a gorgeous rancher–hugely successful musician with a butt any sane woman would want to take a bite of.

He was also the oldest brother of Tuesday’s best friend Natalie’s boyfriend. It sounded convoluted, sure, but it meant trouble if anything bad happened between Natalie and Paddy, Ezra’s brother.

Tuesday told herself it was just dinner. No big deal. She and Natalie were close as sisters anyway. She was supposed to be getting to know the people in Nat’s life now.

She slipped her hand around the crook of his arm and didn’t make good choices at all. “I’m starving.”

He led her just up the block to one of her favorite cafés.

The hostess nearly walked into a post showing them to their table because she couldn’t tear her gaze from Ezra.

“You were very sweet to her,” Tuesday murmured when the poor girl stumbled away after he’d thanked her.

He ducked his head a moment before he stepped close. “Let me help you.”

The backs of his fingers slid against the skin of her neck as he pulled her collar away and took the coat off.

She closed her eyes a moment as a full-body shiver of delight rolled through her.

“Thank you.”

He hung hers up and got rid of his as she settled at the table. Flashing her a smile, he sat across from her as he unwound his scarf.

“I like the beard,” she managed to say and surprised herself by not sounding breathy or wheezy even though he seemed to suck all the oxygen from the air around her.

There was a spot she couldn’t seem to stop glancing at. Just below his ear at the curve of his jaw. She licked her lips rather than get up and kiss him there.

She gripped the table instead, grateful it kept her out of licking distance.

Then he stroked fingertips over the beard—a nervous habit—and she might have lost consciousness for just a brief moment.

“Yeah? I’ve had one on and off. Wintertime is good for it.”

Tuesday felt much the same way about her legs.

“It suits you.” And framed his mouth. He had a great mouth.

She deliberately looked away from him, down at her menu even though she knew exactly what she was going to order.

She’d met Ezra Hurley back in September. Her best friend’s boyfriend had three brothers, all gorgeous and successful with immense personal charisma. Ezra was the last of the four she’d met but once he’d walked into the room he was all she’d seen.

She’d seen him several times since as Natalie had got closer to Paddy and they’d been pulled into the Hurley family.

Each time it had been that same shock of connection between them.

They made small talk that wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward in any way until their food came.

“Did you have a good Christmas?”

“I did, actually. Got my fill of nieces and nephews. Played a lot of video games. Kids are a great way to avoid shopping trips.”

“You don’t like to shop?”

“With my mother and sister and all my sisters-in-law? At Christmas? No. I stayed back, drank mulled wine and played video games until the kids got sick of me and then I watched movies and enjoyed the silence.”

“I have nieces, both under ten so I know the feeling.”

Ezra was like a cat. Tuesday wanted his attention, but she was sort of a cat, too. Each of them brushed up against the other, naturally sort of aloof but totally digging on what the other had.

“I can’t imagine what you must be thinking right now.” His mouth quirked up and she swallowed hard.

“Do you really want to know?”

He nodded.

“I was just thinking about how you and I are like cats.”

He cocked his head, thinking. “Aloof yet demanding?”

She grinned. “Someone has cats.”

“I’m not sure if they have me or if I have them.”

“That’s a yes.”

He tore apart a piece of bread and she had to bite the inside of her lip to pry her gaze away from his hands.

She had a thing about hands and his were gorgeous and strong. Rough. Big.

“How’s business? I imagine things are pretty busy during this time of year.”

Tuesday owned and ran a custom framing business in downtown Hood River, Oregon. It wasn’t where she’d expected to end up but after her life had gone off the rails, it was this town on the Columbia River and her best friend Natalie, who’d finally given her a place to land.

“The holidays are a good time. It’s also great for my custom jewelry.” Which was good because she had a huge family and birthdays alone killed her budget. “How goes ranching?”

He looked across the table at her as the server took their food away. “I was thinking of dessert. You in?”

She nodded. “Definitely. They have poached pears here that I love.”

He grinned. “That so? Those are Hurley pears—did you know that?”

Sweet Hollow Ranch wasn’t only the name of the band Ezra had founded with his brothers when they were still in their teens. It was the place the Hurleys lived. The land they worked.

And apparently the source of the dessert she was about to order.

“I didn’t know. That’s pretty nifty.”

“I think so, too. If you order the pears, I’ll order the cheese plate. We can share. If that’s okay with you.”

“More than okay. Sounds perfect.”

They lingered over their coffee until most people had cleared out and the café got near closing time. He paid up and they gathered their things to clear out.

“I hadn’t realized we’d been here so long.”

He stood and helped her into her coat. “That’s the sign of a good dinner. When you have a great conversation and time gets away from you.”

He opened the door for her and even though it was freezing, she got to look at him some more.

His work boots crunched ice as they headed back to her car along the slippery sidewalk.

She couldn’t recall any time in recent memory where she’d whiled away three hours over dinner and with someone she’d only met a few times.

Something in him called to her. The shape of his eyes, the history in them, she supposed, a little dark and twisty. His lips, well, the bottom one had to be pillow soft. She’d thought about that issue in great detail. He had the hottest mouth she’d laid eyes on in a long time.

Because she’d been thinking about his mouth she might have been distracted enough that she missed the dip in the sidewalk and started to slip. Not that any such thing needed to be admitted. It was cold and icy after all. Anyone could slip. Who could be expected not to think about Ezra’s bottom lip?

“Whoa.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her back to her feet, standing very close to her as he did. He was so strong. The energy seemed to hum from him, bringing a shiver she couldn’t blame on the cold.

“Are you okay?”

His voice did things to her. A little sandpapery, but wrapped in caramel. It shouldn’t have even been possible to be both at the same time but it was. Every once in a while there’d be a burr and it snagged her attention—the pull—which was disconcerting and yet, it was really delicious, too.

He did things to her head. He looked good and he oozed so much raw sensuality it made her tingly. He was handsome, yes, but there was something about him, something elemental that she found herself fascinated by.

And now that she’d had him all to herself like this, she had to admit she wanted more.

“That was close. Thanks for the save.”

He paused, still standing near enough that she could smell him. He had really good cologne. Spicy and sexy.

Don’t sniff him. Don’t sniff him. Don’t sniff him.

The moment stretched between them like a physical thing until he finally stepped back and turned, resuming their walk to her car.

She unlocked her driver’s-side door, using that time to get herself in order before she leaped on him.

She turned back to face him. “Thanks again for dinner. Oh, and for preventing a broken bone when I nearly slipped.”

His mouth did a thing and it was impossible to look away.

Mainly because it was perfection. Fringed by a minky pelt of a beard she wanted to get all up in. It was messing with her thinking. Like a magical item. Beard of confusion, ha!

But the thing? She’d noticed over dinner that sometimes as she talked, he’d look at her mouth and then he’d lick over his bottom lip as if he was thinking about tasting her. That sweep of his tongue was like a physical stroke against her skin.

Yes, she liked the thing a lot.

She shivered, this time from the cold. He popped open the three buttons lining the front of his wool peacoat and opened it, inviting her.

There was nothing else to be done but take those steps into the warm circle of his embrace, sliding her arms around his waist.

Tuesday tipped her head back to see him better, stilling as their gazes locked a moment before his attention shifted to her mouth. And he did that thing again.

She sucked in a breath this time.

He heard. She knew it because his pupils got very big.

Everything got very far off. Sounds all around them died away until only Ezra and Tuesday remained.

And then his mouth was on hers, the arms holding the coat around her tightened as he pulled her to him.

Snug.

Body to body until there was no mistaking how interested he was in her.

Musician wasn’t the only word Ezra could apply gifted to.

Oh. Well. Yes, please.

A breathy groan of appreciation came from her and he seemed to lick it from her lips.

It was too much. So much her heart pounded and she fought the desire to run from him.

She hadn’t felt anything this powerful with a man since Eric died.

Maybe not even then.

She shoved that far away.

Despite it being too much she wanted more. Throbbed with an overwhelming need to roll around in everything Ezra brought to the table.

Her teeth grazed his bottom lip and she loved the way his beard felt as she did it. She licked over it, squirming to get a little closer.

“Fuckyeah,” he muttered right before his tongue slid into her mouth and his taste burst over her.

Vanilla and a touch of brandy from the pears they’d shared after dinner. A little hint of coffee and whatever superendorphin he made with all that hotness.

He kept on, his weight holding her in place against the car.

Inside his coat, the heat of him burned her. But she wasn’t sweating from that.

Her heart thundered in her head.

Finally he pulled back a little, sucking in a breath. His gaze was on hers, open. There was pain there with desire and appreciation. Vulnerability.

Please don’t apologize or say I should forget it.

After long moments of silence, no apologies or panicked expectation management issued from him and she breathed a little easier even as his taste still lived on her mouth.

Those deep brown eyes shifted his attention to her lips and then back to her gaze.

A smile hinted at the corners of his mouth. “Was that my bounty for saving you from a fall?”

She pursed her lips a moment, enjoying the flirting, and then smiled back. “Maybe.”

“I’m always willing to take payment for services or goods via your mouth.”

She swallowed. Excited and nervous. Flattered. Turned on. “So I guess I’m rooting for a long, icy winter then, huh?”

He snorted a laugh, letting go and stepping back. The cold reasserted itself with a slap, which made it a little easier to think again.

“Thanks for making my day a hell of a lot better, Tuesday Eastwood.” He opened her door.

“Yes. What you said.”

He kissed her again quickly. “I’ll be seeing you around. You coming to the shows next week?”

Sweet Hollow Ranch, the band Ezra and his brothers created, was set to drop an album and do a short winter and spring tour.

Ezra still wrote, recorded and produced the band’s material, but he’d left touring behind once he’d got out of rehab and taken stock of his life.

And now, for the first time in years, Ezra was set to be back onstage with them at a few small fan club secret shows to try out new material before they left for the full tour.

She imagined he was probably excited and nervous about it at the same time. He seemed so capable, though; she bet he wasn’t too worried about it.

“We’ll definitely be at the shows. Nat and I are driving in together so I’ll see you then.” She got in her car and he closed the door. Two knuckle raps on the roof and he moved away so she could pull the car out and head home.

He watched her until she turned the corner but she felt his mouth on her skin for hours.

CHAPTER TWO

Now: May

EZRA KNEW WHEN Tuesday had arrived backstage. Every time she was near, an arc of electricity shot up his spine as his hyperawareness seemed to draw them closer to one another. He turned to watch her move through the crowd, that fucking magnificent head of curls setting her apart.

Natalie, Tuesday’s best friend and Ezra’s brother Paddy’s girlfriend, was at her side. The two of them made a picture. Both beautiful in totally different ways. Both fierce and a little wounded.

Maybe a lot wounded. The closer he got with his brother’s girlfriend, the more he admired just what she’d overcome. He was uniquely positioned to understand wounded and to not judge it, either.

Natalie squeezed Tuesday’s hand before she came over to Ezra. “Ezra, you’re looking very handsome tonight.” She kissed his cheek and gave him a hug.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I’m glad to see you here. Glad you and Paddy patched things up.”

Behind Natalie, his sister-in-law, Mary, had waylaid Tuesday so he forced himself to be patient.

“I hear you were a pretty big part of that finally happening. He probably won’t admit it, but Paddy was so lost without your guidance.”

Paddy hadn’t just said a bunch of stupid, hurtful stuff to Natalie, he’d said a lot to Ezra as well and then didn’t contact either one of them as he spiraled closer to the edge.

Luckily, his brother wasn’t as dumb as he was pretty and he’d got his shit straight and made up with Ezra and Natalie both.

“Sometimes you just need to hear someone tell you what you already know.”

“You’re very wise. It must be why you look at my best friend the way you do.”

He scoffed and then made a shooing motion at her. “Go on. Paddy is killing himself not rushing over here.”

She gave him one last quick kiss on the cheek and glided over to where Paddy waited—his smile was one all for Natalie.

Finally his patience was rewarded when Tuesday freed herself and resumed her trip over to where he stood, her lips curved up into a sexy smile.

All the spit in his mouth dried at the sight of her once she cleared the crowd. She wore a very short dress that was bright pink and orange and he wasn’t sure it was supposed to work, but on her it did. Her shoulders and part of her neck and chest were exposed and the material seemed to wrap around her neck.

He held out a hand her way and she took it. Damn, every single time he touched her it was like a shot of adrenaline. Flipping his hold so he could place a kiss on the heart of her palm and then over her wrist.

“You smell good,” he murmured. God help him, she did. Spicy and sexy and just a little dark. It called to him, like to like.

She stood close enough to hear and her mouth tipped up into another smile.

There was so much chemistry between them it made him a little dizzy. Dizzy enough that he knew the risks and he stood there anyway, planning on kissing every part of her as soon as he could.

Tuesday was his brother’s girlfriend’s best friend. So close they may as well have been sisters. She lived not only in Hood River but she also lived with Natalie. If something went wrong it could be uncomfortable forever.

And yet he couldn’t stop himself when she was in his view. Or his thoughts. Which were pretty frequent. Especially after that kiss in December and the follow-up just the week before.

But if he was totally honest with himself, ever since the first time he’d met her back in the fall.

Tuesday Eastwood was vibrant and sensual and she wore her confidence and intelligence boldly. He found that so attractive he went half-hard just at the sight of her.

“Thank you. I’m excited to see you play tonight.”

He looked down to the glittery heels, the pretty painted toes, and then up shapely ankles and calves to toned thighs. Another thing about Tuesday that he dug so much was her love of the outdoors. He worked with his body and it enabled him to burn off all that excess energy...most of it. But he loved to horseback ride and ATV and had been pleased to discover she did, too, when they’d all gone out for rides. She was gorgeous and strong and he wanted some of what she had.

Ezra stood so they were face-to-face. Her sky-high heels brought her level to him, nose-to-nose.

His inner voice screamed caution but he ignored it because it felt so good to want her.

“Thanks. You look fantastic.”

“I figured you’d be bringing all this—” she paused to wave a hand his way “—hotness rock star business. Had to up my game.”

“Consider it upped. By the way, I’ll be escorting you home this evening. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Paddy asked you to take me so he could sweep Nat off?” Her smile told Ezra she wasn’t bothered in the least. “I’ll skip the part where I pretend I’m not totally all right with that plan.”

“He hasn’t asked yet. But he will. I saw the way he looked at her just now. Which is fine with me, as I’d like to have you all to myself.”

Techs came through to talk with each brother. With the fame came more money and they could afford to hire people to help keep the instruments they played in working order. And then they’d been able to afford a tech for each member of the band. The tech currently making no attempt to hide the way he looked Ezra over was Ira and he’d been with Sweet Hollow Ranch for a decade.

Having someone who knew his schedule and preferences made it less stressful to be returning to an arena stage for the first time since rehab.

The room got louder and louder as more and more people arrived backstage. The chaos of it jangled his nerves and fucked with his head.

He slid his thumb over her bottom lip. “I need to head to my dressing room for a while.”

She reached out, her fingertips brushing against the bone at his wrist as she kissed his thumb. “Go on. You’re going to kick ass.”

Ezra stepped close again, sliding his arm around her waist. It didn’t matter that there were a dozen reasons why pursuing her would be a bad idea. He wanted her, she wanted him, they were both adults and damn it, he didn’t want to stop.

He certainly was powerless against it when she moved even closer to him, tipping her head a little, exposing her neck.

He bent his head, breathing her in, brushing his lips over her skin.

“I’ll be here when you’re done.”

“I’m holding you to that.” He stepped back and caught up with Ira to talk about his guitars, but her scent lived in him.

Ira gave him a once-over and Ezra pretended not to see it. Ira had been giving him the once-over before shows for years. At least now Ezra wasn’t so high he couldn’t even stay conscious onstage.

Ezra had his head on straight now. He could be trusted and relied on. No one looked at him with pity-laden expressions tinged with varying shades of disgust. It had been a fight that he wasn’t sure he’d win at times, but there he stood, with all that devastation in his past, with great hope for his future.

Satisfied Ezra was all right, Ira relaxed and gave him the rundown before leaving him alone in his dressing room. Even though Paddy was the leader of Sweet Hollow Ranch, it was Ezra who was the founder. The true leader everyone, including Paddy, turned to.

That trust never ceased to amaze Ezra. They shouldn’t trust him. Not after heroin. But they did and he would white-knuckle it through every damned day to never disappoint the people counting on him again.

Once he’d finished his shot of wheatgrass juice, he sat back on the couch and put his feet up. With a long, slow exhalation, he leaned back, closing his eyes.

The last time Ezra’d been on a stage this big he’d had a public meltdown that had led him to a stint in rehab. The small club dates they’d played at the start of their tour had been thrilling. It had fed that thirst in him that only playing live could seem to quench.

He’d worried back then that he’d lost his performing mojo. But when he’d walked onstage it had leaped into him as easily as it had the last time he was on stage. Easy, like it had never gone. He’d been the Ezra Hurley once more and it had reawakened something inside.

He had something to prove. Not just to his brothers and the fans, but to himself.

* * *

TUESDAY’S SKIN STILL tingled where he’d brushed his lips against her neck. It had been so...wow.

She watched his retreating back. Took in the stretch of the soft fabric of his T-shirt at the width of his powerful shoulders. Down to the narrower waist. His brothers were in denim but Ezra chose worn brown leather pants. And cowboy boots with superpointy toes.

His hair was a little more tousled than usual and she noted the tattoos she could see on his arms. Once she saw him all sweaty after they’d gone out ATVing and that was a memory she’d cherish forever. But this? Well now. Rock star Ezra just earned a place next to sweaty, muddy Ezra in her fantasy bank.

Also, he had a fantastic ass.

And he walked like a man who had a big dick.

Natalie sidled up next to her as they both watched him until he was out of sight. “He really works a pair of leather pants,” Natalie said in an undertone.

“Indeed. He has big-cock walk, too, don’t you think?”

Natalie snorted a laugh. “I can never unhear that!”

“Am I lying?”

“Hell no. What’s true is true.”

They turned to face one another, grinning. “So things are okay with Paddy?”

Her friend had a huge heart and she was deeply in love with Ezra’s brother Paddy. They’d just had a rough patch and had come back together, working hard to get past it, just like Tuesday had known they needed to.

“Yeah. We’re good. What’s going on with Ezra?”

Which was what Tuesday had been wondering. So she decided it was easier to think on this as a fun, casual thing.

“He wants what I got, duh. Also, I want what he’s got so there’s a nice synchronicity there.”

Mary, Damien Hurley’s wife and a new friend, came over to where they stood. “Not going to lie, I am so relieved to be sleeping in my own bed tonight.”

They’d been out on tour for three months, which was short, Tuesday knew, owing to the fact that Mary was due to deliver a brand-new Hurley in six weeks. The tour officially ended the next night but Portland was close enough to Hood River that everyone was headed home instead of to yet another hotel.

The gong sounded that indicated it was time to head to the stage. How weird was it that this stuff was totally normal in her life all of a sudden?

Paddy approached, smiling at Tuesday. Tuesday hoped she managed an I-forgive-you-but-if-you-hurt-my-best-friend-I-will-maim-you smile in return.

He got it, nodding again and hugging her briefly before he took Natalie’s hand and they walked toward the stage. At the end of the hall, Ezra came out of his dressing room looking fine as hell. A little more tousled. But focused and relaxed.

As if she’d said this out loud, he turned, his gaze locking with hers until she felt the tug between them. He waited until she reached him and fell in beside her. Neither of them spoke. She got the feeling he needed the silence.

At the stage, the brothers moved off, speaking to one another intensely for long moments before breaking apart. Damien went out, followed by Vaughan and then Paddy. Ezra stood beside Tuesday, throwing off crazy amounts of charisma and sex appeal.

“Aren’t you going to wish me good luck?” he asked, a teasing smile on his face. But she saw a tiny bit of doubt and it shouldn’t have been there.

“No. You know why?” She moved a little closer. “You don’t need luck. You’re Ezra Hurley. You wrote this book.”

He relaxed, taking her hand to kiss her knuckles briefly before he stepped forward, grabbed the guitar Ira held out and slung it on as he hit the stage and started to play.

* * *

ONCE HE LEFT the wings, everything changed. He unleashed his energy, powering through, taking the roar of the crowd, the singing to his lyrics, the applause and the interplay between him and his brothers and feasting on it.

Though the other three had been out together a whole tour, Ezra fit in exactly where he always did. They might have been more used to doing this every night, but he was fresher, so it balanced things out.

For those hours, it was Hurleys Against The World once again and everything was absolutely perfect.

At the first encore break they came offstage and he hit the john, rinsing off his face and neck, changing his shirt.

As he approached the stage Tuesday waited. The look on her face was all about him and it sent a slice of longing down his spine.

He’d wait, though. Just as she did, letting him keep his head in the music. Seemingly assured he’d give her the proper attention when the time came.

That sort of confidence was hot.

He grinned her way as he took his guitar back from Ira and they went out once more.

Three encores later and it was time to go home.

* * *

AFTER A SHOW was even louder and more chaotic than it was before the show. When Ezra came offstage, he ended up at Tuesday’s side as they all headed back to the greenroom.

The energy seemed to spiral through him and he needed to clean up and get himself together.

He leaned in toward Tuesday once they got to the greenroom. “I’m going to shower and change. Okay with you?”

She nodded. “Of course. I’ll be here when you’re finished.” Her mouth, good sweet Christ, he wanted to lean in and kiss it. So much his hands shook a little.

Tuesday tipped her chin at him. “Go on then. You won’t break me.”

He halted, stunned. “What?”

“You were looking at my mouth like you wanted it. So take it.”

In two steps he’d slid his arm around her waist as he met her body, his mouth sliding over hers, over lips that opened on a sigh as she gave over to him.

He sucked her bottom lip, grazing it with his teeth. Her fingers dug into the front of his T-shirt, holding him to her.

Need clawed at him, sharp and insistent. He wanted to back her up to the wall and fuck her right then and there.

With a groan, he stepped back right as a bunch of people came into the room.

“We’ll continue this conversation when I’m cleaned up.” He licked over his lips and tasted her again.

She breathed out slowly, one corner of her mouth tipped up into a smile.

But he got waylaid before he could reach the door, as his brothers surrounded him, slapping his back and hugging him.

His energy mingled with theirs and it was okay. This was okay to want. This was part of how it was between the Hurley boys and it was good and elemental and he needed to hold on to that.

But it sure didn’t hurt to hear Paddy nearly shout, “Best fucking show in years, man. Ez, you fucking ran that shit out there tonight. Well done.” Paddy grinned at his brother and Ezra gave him one right back.

There was a flurry of hugs from Mary and Natalie and their other friends who’d come to the show.

Tuesday got tugged away to meet someone so he watched her move as he drank some tea and listened to Vaughan and Damien.

Mary patted his arm, following his gaze. “Looks like we interrupted something when we came in here.”

Ezra shrugged. It would happen. He’d been sure from that first time he’d kissed her downtown and then, just three weeks earlier, in the darkness between the grape arbor at her house and the wall.

They’d been heading toward a naked collision for months now. He smiled at his sister-in-law. “No worries, sweetheart.”

He managed to escape to his dressing room nearly an hour later and by the time the water hit his skin, he was ready to run a marathon or fuck.

No marathon that night. Maybe fucking—they certainly had chemistry. Maybe not. Yes. It would happen, though. Ezra found the slow pace, this long seduction of Tuesday and Ezra to not only be sexy, but it gave him the time to work through the way he felt about her. All that desire was seriously hot but the want...he needed to find a way to handle it so he could enjoy it and stop being wary.

It made him feel alive on a whole new level.

CHAPTER THREE

“SO.” EZRA PAUSED at his car, a sleek, sexy, low-slung Porsche. He backed her to the door and her arms slid around his neck as he stepped close for a kiss.

“So?” she breathed as he pulled back after smooching the wits right from her head.

“Nothing really. I just wanted to kiss you again before you got into the car.”

Tuesday laughed, delighted. Sometimes he came off so serious and broody that when he cracked a joke and exposed his dry sense of humor it always felt like a delicious secret.

“All right then.”

She got in, bending to unstrap her shoes and slide them off.

When she straightened, she found him staring.

“You have great legs,” he said in that snarly voice of his and she smiled, leaning back into the buttery-soft leather seats.

He drove with the same sort of intensity he did everything else she’d seen him do. Though their show had ended nearly two hours earlier, the surface streets around the venue were still busy. He seemed to be doing some sort of complicated geometry so she looked out the window as he wended and wove his way to the freeway.

Once they’d got away from the crowded streets he relaxed a little. Enough that she felt she could speak again.

“You were on point tonight.”

He smiled, keeping his attention on the road. “Yeah?”

“I saw you once. I mean before. When you were still touring. In Louisville. I was there visiting my family.”

“It’s crazy to me that we both have family within a forty-mile radius of one another in Kentucky.” Wariness edged his words. She talked about family but she bet he thought about his addiction.

“It was early,” she said because it was important he know she saw him at his best. Preheroin. “I think maybe right after Ten To Midnight came out. Anyway, that’s a long way to say I saw you play before so I have a comparison to make. You were good at the club shows last December. You were like that times a thousand. Tonight, Ezra Hurley was a rock star.”

And it was hot. So hot she’d nearly melted just watching him move. The Ezra he’d been out there, utterly self-assured, sexy, in charge, made her shiver. When he played and wasn’t singing, he’d worn a smirk like he was thinking of something really dirty.

Best of all, he’d owned it, putting it on like a shirt that fit perfectly. All that hot, in-charge stuff had rolled off him in rushing waves. Tuesday wondered what he did with all that energy when he wasn’t onstage. Except for those brief moments when he turned it on her and she nearly drowned in it, he was pretty chill.

From a distance.

There was a darkness to Ezra. Something the darkness that lived in her seemed to respond to. A bone-deep grief he didn’t use as a shield—in fact he tried to downplay it. But it was there and she bet it was part of what motivated him to succeed now.

She shivered at the idea of being the focus of that sort of attention. She had a very strong feeling Ezra didn’t hold back in bed. At all.

She also had a very strong feeling she’d know. Soon.

She’d never been so attracted to another person. Not in the whole of her life, which also made her uncomfortable and feeling as if she was being disloyal to Eric even though he’d been dead four years. It wasn’t like she’d achieved expert-level widow status or anything. Nope, she had zero idea of how to begin to think about it.

Thank goodness Ezra spoke to pull her out of that particular self-punishing reverie. “It felt right. Tonight I mean. There’s a rhythm onstage. It’s different than anything else you do as a band. I’ve been off tour for years now. Enough that my brothers have a timing that’s apart from me at this point.

“In the studio, well, that’s one thing. Out on the road they’re working with tour musicians, who are really good, no lie, but it’s about the three of them. The club shows were more like jamming in the studio. Tonight, that unit of three opened up and I fit where I had belonged at one time when there were four of us in Sweet Hollow Ranch.”

She wondered if it was hard to see that they’d moved on without him. Or if he was tempted to go back out on tour after tonight’s performance. But she didn’t know him well enough to delve deeper. Not without knowing if she’d make it worse.

She liked Ezra a lot and she didn’t want to screw things up, but she wanted to know him better.

“Do you find yourself, you know, wishing you’d be able to go back out on tour? I mean... I don’t know what I mean. I mean, I do, but in my head it sounded better than it does out loud.”

He snorted. “It’s fine. I’m not sure how to feel about it. Not yet. Not entirely.” He paused and she left it, hoping he’d elaborate but knowing he might not.

“The album just dropped. Mary and Damien are about to have a baby and of course they’ll want to be home, close to family. Paddy and Natalie are going to be intertwined for a while—it’s not like he’ll be willing to leave her behind. It’s time to put our lives first. Take care of what’s important.”

Tuesday didn’t miss the way he referred to the band as we.

“We should have done it for Vaughan,” he muttered.

“Do you want to elaborate?”

“You’re not just going to insist I share?”

She waved a hand. “Who am I to do that? I say things out loud sometimes that I may not mean to. Or maybe I do, but I’m just tossing it out to talk about it later.”

“I suppose with Vaughan it’s more a tossing the idea out there and maybe we can chew over it later.”

“Okay.”

Things settled into an easy silence for a while. Tuesday liked quiet. She grew up in an insanely loud house. Always alive with kids, family and friends. It meant she cherished silence and guarded her life zealously, keeping the number of people who didn’t appreciate the same to a bare minimum.

Except her family. They were loud and crazy and there was no changing that.

“So tell me what you’re thinking right now,” Ezra coaxed in his supersexy voice.

“You really want to know?”

“I’m a grown man, Tuesday. I say what I mean.”

Okay then. Why was that so hot? Why did he make her itchy and sweaty and a little lonely after they parted?

“I was thinking about quiet. About how I like it and how we’d been sharing a nice quiet moment. I wish more people liked it.”

“Quiet amplifies loneliness for some people. Maybe for most people.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being lonely sometimes.”

He hummed. A sound of agreement and approval and it, too, was hot. God, everything about him was hot. How did that even happen? How did one person come with so much on every damned level? What sort of cosmic Scooby Snack was Ezra Hurley anyway?

“I didn’t come to appreciate silence until I was in rehab.”

* * *

TUESDAY SETTLED INTO the seat, looking out the window as he spoke. Ezra had a gut feeling it was because she knew he’d prefer she not watch him as he revealed himself.

He didn’t know why he was sharing this stuff. Other than he liked her. He liked being with her and the slow getting to know one another thing was new. And slightly disconcerting because she was such a stupid choice for him to make and he was going to make it anyway.

“They sent me to this place in the middle of nowhere. Just trees and fresh air and mountains in the distance.” He’d gone straight into their detox unit for the first week. “Rehab is loud. I mean, and look, I know how lucky I was that the place I went was as great as it was. But there’s a lot of crying in rehab.” Puking, too. He hated that part worse than all the crying.

“The rehab was on acres of land and the main house and the outer cabins were fenced off. It was, I remember even now, a three-mile circuit and I’d walk it like four times a day just to go be alone.”

“Did you feel lonely?”

“Yes.” He’d alienated everyone who’d ever mattered to him. He’d fallen so low and had hurt so many people the loneliness had nearly drowned him.

“When it’s quiet you can’t avoid it.” Her words, the tone in her voice, told him she knew this firsthand.

“No. No matter how much it hurts. No matter how much of it is your own fault.” He shook it off. “Anyway, I had to find better ways to process all my shit. What I’d been doing was killing me.” It wasn’t in a group when he’d first been able to say he was a fucking heroin addict out loud. It was under a tree, by himself at that fence line. It had been Ezra who needed to say it. Needed to hear it. Needed to believe it.

Her head moved in a slow nod. “I do think sometimes that it’s when I’m avoiding being alone that I need it most. I can’t lie to myself with the same ease I can to other people.”

“It’s pretty badass to be so—what do you call it? Self-aware?”

“Ha!” She laughed. “My mother is a hippie disguised as an engineer. She made us keep dream journals when we were growing up. She’s really into speaking the truth and shaming the devil.”

“Is it as annoying as I’m imagining it to be or am I seeing it wrong?”

She started to giggle. First a tiny burst and another and one more until she’d erupted into a full-on fit and he couldn’t really do anything but smile.

And want more.

“It’s totally annoying. She’s all woo-woo and hippie-dippy and she’s an engineer, too. So imagine organized woo-woo. Anyway, she still goes once a year to a holistic healing retreat where they do yoga for fun and eat loaves of mung beans or whatever. Makes her happy, which is the point of such things. Essentially, I was raised to face the unpleasant stuff. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

He’d bet her mom was pretty fantastic. “You mentioned your dad is a roofer?”

“You were telling me about rehab and silence. Then it’s my turn.”

He sighed. “I guess I used the chaos and the noise to keep from confronting my shit. And then I had so much noise and nothing but time so I found some silence and it wasn’t until then that I could really do the work.”

“Talk about self-aware.”

“Therapy.”

“Ah. Well.”

“I see you know what I mean.” The moment he said it he wished he could recall the words immediately.

“I’m sorry. I forgot. It was careless.”

She blew out a breath. “It’s all right. I promise. In this case, though, I had therapy when I was a kid. Before I knew Eric even existed. I was nine. There was an accident on a field trip. Our van flipped and ended up in a river.”

Her voice had gone faraway.

“Two of my classmates and one of my teachers died. I’d been motion sick and the window had been open so I wouldn’t throw up. It’s how I got out so fast. Anyway, my parents made me go to a psychologist to deal with the nightmares and the grief counseling stuff. Wow, I’ve made this rather heavy. I’m sorry to be a buzzkill.”

Buzzkill his ass. She was incredible. He made a disapproving sound as he pulled up the drive to the large Victorian Tuesday shared with Natalie. The motion sensor lights flooded the front of the house, exposing pretty front gardens and a porch with furniture that invited you to sit.

He keyed the car off and turned to her. “So we both found our silence it looks like.”

She nodded. A shadow across her features meant he couldn’t see her expression very well. “And owned our loneliness, huh?”

Maybe so, but he didn’t have to be alone right then and neither did she.

He ignored her rhetorical question. “Let me walk you in. Make sure everything is all right.”

“Is this a pity good-night hand squeeze for the widow?”

Holding back an annoyed snarl, he got out and circled to her side, opening the door and helping her to her feet.

He moved in close. “Is that what you want from me, Tuesday? Pity? I can give you pity at a coffee shop in broad daylight. I can send you a book about grief but I’m betting you’ve written one of your own.”

Her gaze flicked up, snagging on his. Defiant. Good. He didn’t want her afraid or cowed; he wanted her to know who he was and want him anyway.

She licked her lips and then shrugged. “I want you to touch me and never make me think you feel sorry for me. People die, Ezra. It happened. It happened when I was nine and it happened four years ago. I’ll die. You’ll die. It’s what we’re born to do. I don’t need your pity. I need your dick.”

He barked a laugh, surprised. She clearly didn’t want to go into it any deeper right then so he let it go because he knew what that felt like. “I think I can manage that.”

“All right then.” She linked her arm through his and walked, her heels dangling from a fingertip as they headed up her front porch steps.

Ezra was sure the house was fine; they had good locks and security. It wasn’t really that he had to walk her in, or that he was concerned for her safety. Sharon Hurley’s sons might have been an unruly handful at school, but they always opened doors for people; they said please, thank you, sir and ma’am; and they walked their dates to the door. Hurleys had a protective streak when it came to people they considered theirs.

Theirs. She was his brother’s girlfriend’s best friend. And he considered Tuesday a friend. So that’s what it was. Nothing more.

Ezra paused at that for a moment but let it pass.

He wanted to be with her. Alone in a place he could lay her out and enjoy her awhile. Natalie would be with Paddy so they’d have the house all to themselves where they’d be far less likely to be interrupted by someone whose last name ended in a Y.

Tuesday turned to him as he heard the snick of a lamp turning on. The main living area warmed with a golden glow. He’d been there before with Natalie, but this was the first time he’d been inside, alone with Tuesday. It was a nice enough place but he wasn’t there to look at the furniture.

“The smile on your face?” One of her brows slid up. “Should I be delighted or worried?”

“All my smiles when it comes to you are ones that should delight you.”

“Wow. That’s a really bold statement, Ezra.”

“I’m full of bold statements, beauty.”

She hummed as she dropped the shoes and then headed to him, not stopping until one of her hands rested on his chest. “I think I’m going to like finding out. Come upstairs. I’ll show you my side of the house.”

CHAPTER FOUR

SHE TOOK HIS hand and led him through the house and kitchen. “Nat and I each occupy half the upstairs. My entry is back here.”

Her stairs led up a spiral case that was mainly windows. Even better, he realized as he looked up and up, the highest panes were stained glass.

“Is that as pretty as I think it could be when the light hits it just right?”

She indicated the area with a wave of her hand. “Yes. It lights this whole space with blues and reds. Those panels were the original. The people who sold the house to Natalie had taken them out and replaced them with clear glass. We found the stained glass in the shed out back. Not even a hairline crack. It’s amazing but they were in perfect condition.”

Once they walked a few steps in, he slid into what was, without a doubt, Tuesday’s innermost world. Though the elegance and classic lines weren’t a surprise, he found this space—her private space— unexpectedly soft.

The furniture in her realm was more formal, in curves and swoops. He didn’t know what the style was called, but he liked it. Decorative moldings and a chair rail defined the walls without overtaking the space. Soft blues and yellows complemented a seating area with a small love seat and table. Bookshelves had been built along one wall, framing the window where a chaise sat with a throw tossed on the back and an e-reader on the side table.

The imagined peace one would feel just lying there reading on a lazy afternoon tugged at him, made him hungry for it. It had been way too long since being lazy had been a luxury he’d allowed himself.

“Reading nook?”

She nodded. “When I came up here the first time, this part of the house had been empty. Natalie didn’t have enough furniture to fill it up and she’d really only been living in her half of the upstairs. Anyway. I got up here and it was afternoon. The light slanted across the floors just right and I knew this was a place I should be. I read a lot. I like reading in bed but sometimes I want to sit in my window over there, cover my legs with a blanket and read while it rains.”

“I have a library at my house. It’s part of my home studio and practice space. But I’m with you—I like reading in bed.”

She cocked her head. “I have to admit, I so rarely see you still, I might be totally surprised to come upon you caught up in a book.”

“When I was in first grade, I still couldn’t read and my parents were dealing with the school back and forth. They said I wasn’t very smart and you’ve met my mother so you can imagine how well that went over. Anyway, finally my mom said, can he read something else? Something he picks? They agreed. Probably to get her to shut up and leave, but it works for her brilliantly.”

Tuesday’s laugh brought him a step closer.

“Let me guess how that ended. When you got to choose you loved reading. You just didn’t like anyone else making your choices.”

“It’s a flaw. I admit it.” He looked at her, letting her see what he was thinking. “I like being in control.”

She blinked a few times.

“Is this a sex reference? I’m sorry. Is it unsexy to have to ask? I probably shouldn’t have even asked.”

“Beauty, you have plenty of sexy. That’s not a worry. It’s a general comment that also happens to apply to sex.”

Watching this normally superconfident woman get a little flustered when it came to this—when he sure as hell felt a little flustered himself—filled him with tenderness he rarely felt for anyone outside his family.

She shrugged. “I suppose then, we’ll have to go along and see if your need to control and my need to lick you all over are compatible.”

* * *

TUESDAY KNEW SHE sounded a lot more confident than she felt. Sex with him? Yes. Yes and yes again. Control, though? What did that mean? Like something creepy? Or something hot? Sometimes people inexplicably found stuff like cell phone tracking and that sort of control to be superhot. She was not one of them.

She didn’t need a dad. Or a protector. Or a white knight. Or a stalker.

“That’s some conversation you’re having in your head, given the look on your face.” He fought a smile and she was charmed.

Ezra was out of her league. This pull between them had the potential to be overwhelming and end horribly.

But it felt so good she let herself do it anyway.

She was used to confident men, yes. Smart, too. But Ezra wasn’t just some dude she planned to fuck awhile.

“I was just weighing what you might mean by control.”

The gaze he raked over her was nearly physical. One of his brows went up and one corner of his mouth dented with a freaking dimple. A dimple. He was so ridiculously alluring at that moment, tousled, big and hearty.

Tuesday loved a big man. Some people liked brown eyes; she liked tall men with broad shoulders. The material of his shirt stretched over so much taut skin and work-strong muscle she couldn’t have stopped looking if she’d tried. Which she had no plans to do. If something broke, he’d know how to fix it. If something was heavy, he’d carry it.

More than being physically big, Ezra was big with his presence, as well. He seemed to radiate with energy and intensity.

It made her greedy because Ezra Hurley was like chocolate volcano cake. You knew it had the most calories on the menu and that it would be a gooey mess but you ordered it anyway because gooey, messy and high in calories usually meant a good time.

She was going to gorge herself on this man and she was going to do it without apology or second-guessing because she wanted him. She wanted him and he wanted her and this thing they shared was so hot and compelling and sexy that it made her drunk on his testosterone.

She groaned. “You have a really big dick, don’t you?”

He did a double take once he truly heard her question and it was so funny she nearly forgot she’d actually blurted out that thing about his dick.

See? Drunk. Like an amateur. She wasn’t an amateur, damn it! “Um.” She put her hands over her face, the skin hot against her palms.

“I didn’t actually mean to say that out loud.”

He stepped close enough to slide his arms around her waist. Now that she had her heels off, he was much taller and she had to look up a bit but he was smiling.

“Well, if you’re going to ask such a question at least your assumption that my cock is big is a good way to go about it. But you can just see for yourself. If you’re curious and all.”

She mirrored the way he held her. Though her hold on his waist was moot once he pulled her closer, arranging her the way he pleased before he turned his attention back to her face.

And then she sort of got the whole control thing in the way he’d meant it.

Ezra was in charge and she liked it just fine.

Ezra touched her like he meant it. The brief bite as his fingertips pressed into her upper arms as he shifted her did all sorts of things to her hormones. Rough, yes. But more because he wanted her so much, he had to have her.

He wasn’t just there. He was utterly present and focused on her.

Thrilling. Flattering. Dizzying.

He bent and she tipped her face up to meet his kiss. He was a master class–level kisser as he gave a long, slow perusal of her mouth. Exploring her, tasting each part as if she were delicious. A lick against her top lip. A lave with the flat of his tongue over the curve of her bottom lip. He tangled his tongue with hers. A quick flick here, a nibble there.

Ezra Hurley pretty much kissed all the reasons not to fuck him that night right out of her head. Which was fine and all, since really, her reasons had been thin and dumb and he was so warm and hard and pressing that part of him she’d just asked about to her belly.

Yeah, big.

When he broke the kiss she licked her lips to get one last bit of his taste. “You haven’t seen my bedroom yet.”

His smile made her clit throb. Like actual pulsing and she knew she had to take note and relay that info to Natalie because that was the sort of thing you totally told your best friend.

“I haven’t. You’re a terrible hostess.”

For a man with such darkness in his eyes, he also had a wonderful sense of humor.

“I didn’t even offer you any juice or a snack.”

“I’d rather see you naked.”

“Well. I approve of your priorities.”

She took his hand and led him into her bedroom. This was her intimate space. Natalie often had people in her room, but Tuesday was more hesitant. Sure their close friends had been up here, but she’d never actually had a man in her bedroom since she’d lived in that house. Hell, she hadn’t shared her bed with anyone in four years. Not since she’d been married. She supposed she still was married. Wasn’t she? Death wasn’t divorce, right?

That hit her so hard she actually had to sit down on the edge of her bed.

Concern on his face, Ezra knelt to face her. “Tuesday? Are you all right?”

She considered not answering. It was embarrassing and stupid and if she did tell him they totally weren’t going to have sex that night.

Then again, he was precisely the kind of man who wouldn’t just fuck her if she said, “Never mind, I’m fine, bone me,” either.

Tuesday swallowed her hesitance and said, “Something just occurred to me. Hit me a little harder than I’d expected it to.”

“Your husband?”

What a weird conversation to be having and yet it was okay to share with him. So she did. “I was just thinking I hadn’t had a man up here. Ever.”

He sat next to her on the bed, leaning his weight back on an arm as he looked her over. “He died when?”

“Four and a half years ago.”

“It’s been years since you’ve been with anyone?” His voice got a little thready and it made her smile, even through the memories.

“Good lord, no.”

She loved sex. Loved it. When Eric had been alive they’d had it often until he’d started to get sick. Looking back it should have been a clue but she hadn’t seen it. Maybe if she had sooner it could have made a difference.

That was definitely not a road she’d be going down.

He’d been waiting for her to keep speaking. Knowing there’d be more. And there was, of course. “I just don’t here.”

He rumbled in his chest, again, approval and agreement. It was a good, solid sound and she liked it a lot.

“I do what I need to do but I don’t bring it here.” Said in her head, those words made her feel tough and independent. Out loud they made her sad that she’d lived like that and considered it enough.

“This is a seriously sexy bedroom.” He shrugged, not getting worked up at what she’d said. “Their loss.”

He wasn’t going to push about Eric. About anything. She breathed a little easier.

She swung herself around to straddle his lap. The surprised pleasure on his features thrilled her.

“That was sort of a boner killer, huh?”

“The stuff you say. It just shoots from your mouth. It’s awesome.” He writhed a little, stroking his totally not dead boner against her. Where only a thin layer of cotton and his jeans separated them.

“You might want to know this, about my boner, that is. It takes an awful lot to kill it. And frankly, you’re so delicious I’m not sure it can be done when I’m looking at you, much less when you’re in my lap, those gorgeous breasts just right in front of me, the heat of your pussy against my cock. With all you bring it’d take a nuclear bomb to kill.”

This was happy in a way she hadn’t felt in so long. It rushed through her as she soaked it in. She hadn’t even realized how starved she’d been for this. Not just sex, but zing. That connection with someone that lifts them into a totally different category in your life.

Bittersweet pleasure bloomed through her as she leaned down and buried her face in his neck as she’d been craving for hours. She smiled against the skin right where it met his shoulder and took a deep breath.

His fingers on her sides tightened and she again thought about the size of his hands. Also big there.

He held her, fingers spread against the fabric of her dress, but he seemed to burn through the material to scald her skin.

She pulled back so she could look at him and right away she was smiling because Sharon and Michael Hurley really did make four stellar human beings in the looks, sex appeal and charisma department.

His grin slid from amused into sensual confidence and promise. Like he hit a switch, though she knew it wasn’t put on. She’d seen his stage persona and how he acted with other people. She knew this heat between them was totally real.

It was more that all this simmered beneath a surface he worked very hard to keep intact. He drew that away sometimes to let her see to the heart of his emotions and that made her sort of...gooey. It flattered her that he’d share so much intimacy. It was erotic. Simple and so powerful.

She shivered and he reached up to pull her back down to him. Once he was near enough, he stretched up to kiss her chin and then her neck.

He held her as he licked over her collarbone, which she’d never considered exciting but clearly Ezra had some sort of collarbone secret because it worked. One of her hands fisted in the coverlet where she’d leaned her weight as he pretty much set off fireworks by kissing her freaking collarbone.

* * *

SHE LET OUT a moan that echoed through her body straight up his cock, which was already hard to the point of pain.

He slid a palm up her back to where her dress was tied and paused a moment to be sure she was still with him. That’s when she undulated, grinding herself against his dick. Close enough he felt the heat of her.

She sat up above him so he moved to sit, as well, holding her in his lap as they perched on the edge of her bed.

Two or three seconds and he peeled the dress away from the most incredible breasts he’d ever seen. And—not that he’d ever say it out loud in the same state as Tuesday—he’d seen enough breasts to be somewhat of an expert.

So he couldn’t be blamed for being focused on the tight, dark nipples capping some seriously fine C cups through the sheer peach-colored material of a bra that also fastened around her neck. Clever.

“That was unexpected. But I like it.” He bent his head to press his lips to the left curve of her cleavage before he popped the back open and got rid of the bra. “I like this even more.”

He took her breasts in his hands and she sucked in a breath, her hands braced on his shoulders as she arched her back.

“Can’t lie—I like that, too,” she gasped out as he tugged on her nipples.

He needed more. More access. More everything.

He half stood, bringing her with him and spun, dropping her on her back on her bed before settling between her thighs.

That’s when he finally noticed the dragonfly tattooed on her belly, just beneath and between her breasts. An art nouveau design with an Alphonse Mucha flair in delicate, simple lines.

“Beautiful.” He licked over it and up the bottom swell of her left breast. Her fingers slid into his hair, holding him in place.

He delighted in her responses. The way her skin, nearly bronze in the low light, pebbled up as he licked over it. The sounds she made would never let him misunderstand what she liked and expected. A soft, ragged moan of pleasure, an impatient huff, a pleading sigh. She tugged a little harder than necessary when he did something she didn’t like and arched into him when he hit a good spot.

There was something so fearless and fierce about her, about the way she liked what she liked and demanded it. It was a sort of full-tilt sensual experience, but it was real and raw and made him hot all over. It fed that gnawing hunger that drove him so hard he was dizzy with it.

Everything about her pressed against him in the best sort of way. The air smelled of her, of that unique warm, spicy floral scent she wore. Of her sex. Of her skin. He came to attention when he realized he’d be leaving his scent all over her things. Yes, he liked that a lot.

Her body spread out on her bed excited his senses as he took her in. She was tall. Powerful. He loved all the juxtaposition she came with. Athletic but not so much she didn’t still have the swell at her hips, the curves and feminine abundance that made his mouth water. She might dress up and wear heels, but her hands were those of a woman who used them to work.

He’d seen the jewelry she made and the work she’d framed. Tuesday was a woman who loved creating beautiful things and he could totally relate. She was bold and strong and vibrant even as she was also cool and elegant and soft.

Confident in a way most of the women he’d been with in the past couldn’t get near. And yet vulnerable. The whole of her was everything he craved and worried about at the same time.

She’d taken off her little tortoiseshell glasses and left them on the table so now he could see the smattering of freckles on her cheeks and just how long her lashes really were.

He’d seriously never seen anything like her hair. It was magnificent, an inky dark mass of gorgeous curls. It looked even better spread out around her head as she lay in bed.

Her eyes slowly opened at she stared up at him. There was no sense of urgency. This was playing out how it should, which made him a little nervous, but it wasn’t outweighed by the need racing through him to have her.

He hissed as she slid her hand up inside his shirt, over the skin of his back, her fingertips digging into the muscle, urging.

She tipped her neck as he kissed down it and then down her body until he backed off the bed enough to stand. “I need that dress off. I want to see all of you.”

Quickly, she was up and on her knees, her dress whipped off and tossed to a nearby chair, remaining in nothing more than a whisper-thin pair of panties in that same sheer material as the bra.

He was so fortunate.

Ezra tipped his chin at her. “All.”

She shimmied from her underpants and continued to kneel there, facing him, utterly and gloriously naked.

He took a long look at her. “Beauty, you slay me.”

He yanked his shirt off and she sighed happily.

“You should take your shirt off onstage. Or maybe not.” She frowned briefly. “But in front of me you should whenever you like. Or whenever I like. Whichever.”

His hands moved to the buttons on his jeans and her gaze never left them. All in all, when he finally—carefully—got out of them and his boxers it was really clear how much he enjoyed her gaze on him.

And that nearly painful erection nearly lost all its vigor when a thought occurred to him. “Please tell me you have condoms.”

She froze. “Shit. Hang on.” She scrambled from the bed and headed into her bathroom but shortly returned with some little packets he recognized as his brand. “I do. Should I give you one for your wallet?” She winked.

Laughing, he grabbed her as she walked by and sent them both to the mattress.

“I wasn’t going out looking to get laid.”

She reached between them, wrapping her fist around him and giving his cock a few slow thrusts and sending his thoughts into disarray. “Yeah? Seems to me, Ezra, that you and I have been headed right here since the first time I met you.”

Damn, when she was so bold and demanding it sent a wave of desire through him, hot and fast like a wildfire. He wanted inside her and right that very moment.

Instead, he forced himself to slow down and enjoy.

“Yes. That much is true.” But he hadn’t known for sure that she’d be there and maybe he’d been a little nervous and all his attention had been on the show. He’d forgotten until that moment. He wasn’t good at the hey, I might get laid later better take a rubber game anymore. “But I wasn’t going to take anything as a given anyway.”

He took her mouth again, starting off sweet, playful even. But within a minute or two things had deepened and he was so hard that even if he had got in her right then he’d have come too soon.

That wasn’t on his to-do list.

He eased down her body, licking the place where thigh met torso. She made a deep sound, a sort of gasp and moan all at once.

He loved that she’d left the lights on so he could look his fill. He spread her open and did just that. She didn’t try to close her legs against him or shy away. Instead she watched him look at her, pleased.

He took a lick and the sound she made in response was a lot like what he did when he tasted something delicious. He understood it because he wanted to make that same sound at the salty sweet of her on his tongue.

He built her climax slowly, tasting her, getting his fill of her. When she rolled her hips, urging him and he wasn’t ready just yet, he pressed her hips to the mattress and her body responded just as loudly as her moan.

Oh hell yes. She liked it as much as he did.

He wasn’t going to rush along when it came to the first orgasm he ever gave her, after all. Ezra wanted her to have his touch burned into her brain, wanted to make her come so hard he pushed every other memory of every other man away.

Deep down he could be petty and admit it was daunting to think about competing with the memory of a dead man. Ezra wanted Tuesday thinking about him.

Her body seduced him as he touched and kissed, nibbled and licked. All he felt, tasted and heard was her. Even the breath he gulped in was laced with her scent.

Something about her drove him to please, to preen and show off, and when he finally knew she was ready, he kept his pace relentless, pushing her hard and fast as he slid two fingers deep.

With a hoarse cry, she arched, and the hands that’d been on his shoulders shifted, her nails digging in, urging him on. He kept going, gentling little by little until he finally pressed a kiss to her belly and moved back up her body.

“Now that the edge has been taken off, I have a few more things to show you.”

Her smile was lazy and pleased. “Can’t wait.”

He bent, licking across a nipple when a ruckus loud enough to hear easily from Tuesday’s room sounded downstairs.

Alarmed, Ezra moved to stand quickly and quietly. “You stay here. Call 911 if necessary.”

“No!” Before he’d even realized it, she was next to him in a robe.

Downstairs someone yelled Tuesday’s name. At least he could thank his lucky stars he didn’t have to argue with Tuesday about staying out of the way of a freaking prowler.

“Shit, that’s Nat.”

Before he could tell her to hold up, Tuesday rushed out. With a curse, he found his pants and got them on. He snatched up a shirt on his way out and got it on right as he entered the kitchen.

Natalie looked to Tuesday with a smirk but it was a fast thing, soon replaced by worry. Tuesday had ignored it, so Ezra would let her deal with Natalie on this topic. It wasn’t that he expected it not to get out if he and Tuesday finally hooked up. His family was nosy and interfering. But he didn’t even know what it was between him and Tuesday yet, so it wasn’t something he could explain.

Natalie’s expression made his gut tighten and luckily before he could demand to know what was wrong she started to fill him in. “I tried calling your phone and Paddy tried Ezra. I’m sorry to bug you.”

Paddy came in from the living room. “Is he here?” He stopped short when he saw Ezra. “Thank God.”

Seeing his brother so worried beat at him. Ezra stepped in and took control. He touched Paddy’s shoulder. “Patrick, you’re freaking me out. Tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s Maddie.”

Maddie was Vaughan’s oldest daughter, one of their two nieces.

Ezra’s heart pounded. “What about her?”

“Appendix. Vaughan stopped by Kelly’s place on his way home from the arena, but they had just decided to take her to the emergency room because of her fever. He called Mom from there. Apparently if they’d waited even half an hour more it would have been really bad and burst. They’re operating on her right now.”

“Jesus.” Ezra simply went into protective big brother mode as he took over from Paddy. “Let me get with Mom to see what the status is.”

Ezra got on the phone with his parents and within minutes he’d managed to settle everyone down. His parents had recently arrived at the hospital where they met Vaughan and Kelly, Vaughan’s ex-wife and the mother of his children.

Ezra explained everything to Paddy, Natalie and Tuesday once he’d hung up. “Dad says the hospital won’t let anyone else in where they’re waiting along with Vaughan and Kelly. Kensey is sleeping over at a friend’s house already so at least that one thing is taken care of, by the way.” Kensey was Maddie’s little sister. “Someone will call when Maddie’s out of surgery and they hear from the doctor. He said not to come down there right now.”

“I feel helpless.” Paddy paced as Natalie put the kettle on for some tea.

Tuesday spoke quietly from where she’d been pulling mugs down from a cabinet. “One thing you might do is make your parents and Vaughan a reservation at a hotel near the hospital. After you’ve been at the hospital all day you need a place to retreat. To shower and nap and just let go when no one else is watching.”

Ezra wasn’t sure how to feel about the raw pain in her tone. She clearly didn’t want to go into it, and at the same time, she didn’t hide it.

“That’s a great idea.” And it was. His parents would rest if it was convenient to the hospital and the room was paid for and would go to waste otherwise. And if they did, they’d spot Vaughan back and forth.

“Let me do it. Give me something to do before I go crazy.” Paddy headed into the living room as he scrolled through his phone.

“I’ll be right back,” Ezra told Tuesday.

She nodded, reaching out to squeeze his hand as he passed by.

He needed to check in with Damien, too. It was past three at that point so he and Mary would be sleeping. But Ezra knew they’d be upset if he didn’t tell them. And it would be easier to get Damien to stay with his wife until morning if Ezra handled him just right.

Then everyone would be dealt with for at least the next twelve hours or so.

CHAPTER FIVE

TUESDAY WATCHED EZRA follow his brother and turned away with a sigh. Natalie was right there and she would be insufferable until Tuesday shared. Which was a best friend’s right after all and she’d do the same in Nat’s place.

“Not yet. You came in right as condoms were procured.” Tuesday leaned in close to Natalie. “He could be a gold medalist, world champion in oral sex, however.”

Natalie groaned. “I’m so sorry. We tried to call you and then him and we just didn’t want to let it wait.”

“Of course you came over and that’s what you were supposed to do. If you hadn’t, he’d never have forgiven himself.”

Tuesday got the feeling no one was harder on Ezra than Ezra himself.

Tuesday had noted the way Ezra had eased into control and Paddy calmed down. The Hurleys were very close-knit and those girls were adored by one and all. They’d needed him, he’d responded and had helped and everyone felt better.

It made her happy to see Ezra step in to protect his family the way he did.

Natalie nodded, agreeing. “Still, it sucks. We’d just started to fall asleep when we got the call. That little girl is such a sweetheart. Vaughan must be beside himself.”

“They got to it before her appendix burst. It could have been so much worse. At least Vaughan was there when it happened.” The youngest Hurley brother appeared to be a great father so Tuesday imagined he’d have been out of his mind with worry if he’d been across the country on tour still. He’d be worried then, too, of course, but at least he was close by and that was a blessing.

“We’ll talk about that later.” Natalie looked toward the living room, where the brothers both had phones pressed to their ears. “So. A champion, huh?” Natalie asked carefully as she bumped her hip to Tuesday’s.

One of the things Tuesday loved most about her best friend was the way Natalie knew when to push and when to back off. After Eric had died, Tuesday had drifted awhile.

Unable to face the home she’d made with Eric, Tuesday’d gone off to visit people and sleep in guest rooms. It had been Natalie who’d finally got through to her and told her to start living again. Natalie who pushed and coaxed and cajoled her back to the work of the living once more.

Ezra’s rumble sounded from the other room and it made Tuesday smile.

“Yes.”

“And it was okay, so that’s good.”

Natalie had meant being with a man in their home—in Tuesday’s bed.

A hotel room was private and impersonal and it wasn’t yours for longer than a little while, which telegraphed the attitude she wanted to project. She had lovers and not boyfriends.

She wasn’t sure when she’d be ready to be with someone again and so it had felt to her that the safest thing was to not do it until she knew it was time.

Ezra, though, trod all over that distance. She let him. She even liked it. But she feared it, too, and it had awakened all sorts of stuff inside. Stuff she didn’t have the time or the luxury to examine right at the moment.

“It was way better than okay.” Tuesday looked down at herself. “I’m going to run up and get dressed. I’ll be right back. Keep an eye on the tea.”

“I will but don’t think this discussion is over.”

“As if I’d ever think otherwise. You’re bossy and nosy. But I expect you have some stuff to talk to me about, too. I need a Paddy update.”

Natalie’s features softened with love and it made Tuesday so happy to see it. “Deal.”

Her best friend’s joy was genuine. Even if tinged with worry. Tuesday kissed Natalie’s cheek. “Good. Be right back.”

Tuesday dashed up to her room to change. At first she tried to ignore the way the room smelled like him. Like sex and sin and hot, hot man. She’d made herself a promise not to think about what anything meant until they’d got past this situation with Maddie’s surgery and it all rushed in anyway.

But then it hit her.

She stood in her doorway, her hand on the light switch, and realized the step she’d taken by letting him up there and between her thighs was way bigger than she’d intended to make. Tuesday wasn’t sure what she thought before she’d led him up to her bed. Well, okay, she’d been thinking about riding him like a horse. But...

A man like Ezra marked a place with his presence. He filled up a room just by standing in it. But on top of that he emanated so much charisma and energy; a dark, wounded heart wrapped in so much talent it was a little intimidating.

He’d swept her up. She got caught in whatever it was between them. So powerful. He made her feel things more than just momentary pleasure. But he didn’t appear to be looking for anything long-term. Like her. Right? Was that even still the case?

Tuesday shook her head to stop that train of thought as she flicked off the light. There were other things to focus on.

* * *

PADDY WAITED UNTIL Ezra had tucked the phone back into his pocket before he got close enough to speak quietly.

“Hotel reservations made.”

“Good deal. I just spoke to Vaughan. Maddie is out of surgery and in recovery now. She’s stable and if all goes well they’ll let her go home tomorrow. I told him you were making hotel reservations.”

Paddy’s brow rose with appreciation. “Bravo. You cleverly made him think that he needed to be sure Mom and Dad got rest so he’d need to go with them. And it gave me something to do, as well.”

As if Ezra’d ever let on just how much he tended to manage them all. He just gave Paddy a bland look until his brother rolled his eyes and relaxed a little.

“Why don’t you call Mom and let her know about the room and then text Vaughan the details?” It would give Paddy something else to do, which would keep him busy, not feeling helpless.

Paddy nodded. “I just remembered, I called Damien but got his voice mail. Can you try again?”

“Handled. I called on the house phone. It woke him up. I told him there was nothing to be done so he needed to keep Mary in bed. I’ll call him now and fill him in on what Vaughan told me.”

Within ten minutes Ezra had got it all taken care of. All bases covered. Pregnant sister-in-law sleeping, all brothers accounted for and okay. His parents were headed to the hotel with Vaughan once they’d wrapped things up at the hospital.

Ezra had heard in Vaughan’s tone that his brother had a lot going on. More than just the immediate situation. Ezra planned to head to the hospital around noon so he could speak with Vaughn a little then.

“I’m sorry.” Paddy looked out the front windows. “For coming here and interrupting I mean.”

At first Ezra had no idea what his brother was apologizing for. He scanned his memory until he realized Paddy meant sex.

“Shit happens, Patrick.” He kept reminding himself of that because he was going to be nauseated all day from blue balls. He was trying not to even glance back into the kitchen because if she still had that scarlet robe on all silky next to her skin he was going to weep.

“But you guys...well finally, right?” Paddy waggled his brows.

Ezra’s laugh may have sounded a little less than amused. “Don’t worry about it. She and I know where the other lives. We’ll pick it up again once this is all behind us.”

“Shit. Now I’m really sorry.”

Ezra snorted, slapping his brother on the back. “I’ll let you make it up to me. Come on. We’ll fill Nat and Tuesday in and then I’m going home for a while to sleep before I head down to the hospital.”

“Should we cancel the show?” Paddy looked at his watch. “Tonight, I guess it is already.”

“I left it up to Vaughan. I’ll call Jeremy in a few hours to let him know what’s up. Vaughan says if she’s stable and fine, he thinks we should do it. He said we can play tonight and then he’ll head straight to the hospital from the arena.” And if he was smart, he’d be working on figuring out how to win Kelly back and get this new guy out of the picture.

When he and Paddy got back to the kitchen, Tuesday had changed into jeans and a T-shirt but she still looked sexy and gorgeous and his dick hurt at the memory of how she’d looked less than an hour before.

Ezra filled them in. Paddy sweet-talked Natalie into going home with him and Ezra wasn’t sure what to do with his disappointment at the idea of his own empty bed. He liked his bed. He liked sleeping alone, in the middle of his gargantuan mattress. But he bet Tuesday was warm and soft in the mornings. That might be worth sharing his mattress for.

Paddy and Natalie left and Ezra turned his attention to Tuesday, moving to her. “I’m sorry we got interrupted.”

“Well, all things considered, it’s all right. For me anyway.” She grinned a moment. “You? Well, I can help you out.”

He groaned at that. Her hands or mouth on him, quick and hard so he could get off. Yeah, that’d be fantastic, as it happened. And yet, not what he wanted. Not his first time with her.

He pulled her close, kissing her for a while until he felt a little better. “Are you coming tonight?”

She nodded. “Nat and I are driving out together with Mary.”

“You and me.” And like someone else spoke from his lips: “Come back to my house after the show. We’ll start over and do it far better this time around.”

He liked the smile he got.

“All right. Go home and rest awhile. I’ll see you tonight. I’m glad Maddie’s okay.”

He hugged her once more at her door before he headed out to the porch. He stepped away, pausing. “See you tonight, Tuesday.”

* * *

EZRA DROVE HOME with the windows rolled down. A thousand things he needed to do raced through his head. He went through them all one by one, assigning them some measure of importance and by the time he pulled into his garage, he’d tidied his thoughts.

Loopy, his sweet, silly Lab, woke up when Ezra came in from the garage. She looked slightly guilty, which meant she’d been on his bed until she heard the garage door open. “I got your number.”

That he said it while scratching her behind her ear meant her guilty face faded, replaced by her normal happy-go-lucky goofiness. She groaned when he moved to her chin, which sent Goldfish and Peanut into the room as fast as their paws could take them.

He tried to move, but was unable to avoid the pain of kitten claws in his jeans as they climbed him like a tree.

“You were in my bed, too, weren’t you?” He took a cat under each of his arms and headed toward his room.

Ezra’s house had been the last to get finished because he’d had the first one torn down and a new one rebuilt when he’d got out of rehab. This place was his home. His refuge from the insanity of the world outside.

A cedar-log home, it was open and bright. The central core of the house soared up to the bare-beamed ceiling with a gallery at the second floor.

The master was on the first floor at the rear of the house, behind beautifully carved oak double doors. Doors he usually left open as they were now. He dropped the cats carefully as he headed toward his bathroom.

“Sorry, kids, but Dad needs to be alone.” He shut the bathroom door and knew they’d be getting back on his bed the minute he was out of sight.

When he’d come back from tossing his dirty clothes, the water was hot and he stepped under the spray with a sigh. He didn’t need to shower then. He could just sleep, clean up before he headed to the hospital with his stuff in the trunk and get ready at the arena.

But a riot of energy coursed through him. It wasn’t about getting clean. He needed to jerk off so he could fucking sleep.

He worked soap into his palms, turning the bar over and over until his hands were nice and slick. Head back, he let the water hit him from all three directions as he trailed slippery hands over his nipples, tugging the bar through the left one. It wasn’t like he had to do much to get close again.

The memory of how she’d been just a few hours before came easily. Tuesday Eastwood was alluring. Sexy. Smart and funny. She was beautiful and vibrant and so totally in charge of her shit.

Her taste was on his mouth as he licked over his bottom lip. Right before he wrapped a fist around his cock and pumped slowly.

Fuckyeah.

He imagined her back arching as he slowly pressed into her body. She’d wrap her legs around his waist...if he took her missionary. Maybe he’d thrust a few times and roll her over and start again.

Yeah, that worked.

She had a great back, a fantastic ass; he’d look his fill as he got closer and closer. From that angle he could take her in slow, deep thrusts.

He drew close but he didn’t want to let go of that image. Tried to slow down but the time he’d spent with her earlier that night had pushed him too far.

All the adrenaline and sexual energy he’d been pumping out for hours and hours built up in the balls of his feet and barreled up his legs, lodging in his gut.

He thought about her. Remembered her voice. Remembered the sounds she’d made as he’d driven her to climax. Licked his lips to get one last whisper of her scent and taste as he came so hard he had to slap a hand against the tile to keep from falling over.

When he crawled into bed—yes, around two cats and a dog—it was four already. He’d wake up at nine and check in with Vaughan and depending on what his brother said, he’d head to the hospital after that.

There wasn’t anything else he could do right then so he let himself fall into sleep.

CHAPTER SIX

TUESDAY WAS AT her worktable when Natalie came into the shop the next morning just before eight. She looked up, switching off her work light. “Hey. I just put on a new pot of coffee. It should be done in a few minutes. Any word on Maddie?”

“I’d say I couldn’t believe you’re here, but that’s a lie. I wish you weren’t but I knew you would be. Anyway.” Natalie held up a hand to stop Tuesday from arguing. References to Tuesday’s chronic insomnia weren’t new. “Maddie’s awake and in good spirits according to Paddy. He, Ezra and Damien are heading to the hospital and will meet us at the arena later. Mary is riding with us but I can tell you she’s currently in her kitchen cooking for everyone at the hospital. I’m going to guess she’ll want to go early so we can all eat together and then go to the show. Would that work for you?”

It had been a little odd to see Natalie make a friendship with Mary. She was part of Natalie’s life in a way Tuesday couldn’t be. Which was so good for her to have that sort of support within the Hurley family ranks. But there were times it smarted just a little.

It was also undeniable that Mary was a lovely person who cared about her family and Tuesday liked the Hurleys very much.

“Sounds like a good idea. I’m sure it’ll make Mary feel better. It’ll give everyone a chance to rest and eat after the stress of the hospital. Also, I can’t lie—I want to peep at this Kelly character.” Tuesday put her tools aside and came around to where Natalie had dropped into a chair near the counter.

The coffeemaker beeped. “Hold that thought. Coffee’s ready.”

Tuesday poured them both a mug and brought them over with some sugar.

“Just let me know when you want to leave. I managed to finish two pieces this morning and a customer picked up some frames a while back. So I’m good to close up whenever.”

Tuesday had finally accepted Nat’s invitation to visit the small town her best friend had moved to because she needed an anchor or she was worried she’d float away. Or to be fair it was more like she was beginning to not be worried about floating away and that brought her to the person she knew would see just how messed up Tuesday was and how much she needed to have someone refuse to let her spin bullshit anymore about being fine.

She hadn’t been fine then. Though she’d got better since, when she’d first slept in Natalie’s guest room and let herself accept that it could be her reality, that she could move to Hood River. It had been a step back into a life she actually lived instead of something that happened while she hid from it.

She knew how to frame things. Did a lovely job with it because she had a knack for what looked right for each person and back in high school she’d worked for a frame place at the mall so she had the skill set. Her custom work and the other pieces she sold on consignment of preframed art brought in enough to pay her half of the mortgage.

But what she really truly wanted to do was make jewelry full-time. Big, chunky pieces of a wide variety of shades, shapes and textures. She had a stall at a local farmers’ market and had been slowly building a customer base that way. She also had heard recently that a big outdoor market in Portland had given her a spot for a stall starting the following month. The exposure was on a far broader scale. She felt more alive and full of hope for the future right then than she had since about a year before Eric had died.

“I’ve seen a picture of her.” Natalie leaned an elbow on the counter, tearing Tuesday from her memories. “Kelly. Did you know she was a model?” Nat wandered off topic. “You know what would be really good with this coffee? A cinnamon roll. Even a cookie. Oatmeal, which is healthy even.” Natalie smiled brightly and Tuesday snorted.

“I have almonds and some apples.”

“I said good, not apples and almonds.” She frowned, still managing to look gorgeous. “So for God’s sake, tell me about it. Tell me how you feel after last night,” Natalie burst out.

“I’m hungry. Come on. Let’s lock up and I’ll make pancakes.”

“Wow, you so don’t want to talk about it.”

Tuesday put a cloth over the work she’d been doing and slid the tray into a drawer. “I’m still processing it. I feel fine. He’s...well, you know.” She threw her hands up, frustrated that he was so appealing. “I don’t know. We haven’t even actually fucked yet. We barely know one another.”

Natalie washed out the coffee stuff as she spoke over her shoulder, “You and Ezra know each other. You have since that first meeting. I see the way you look at each other, the way you circle and get all flushed. I’ve been going out with Paddy since July of last year and in all that time I’ve never seen Ezra with a woman. Or talk about a woman. Other than you.”

“Pause the lecture.” Tuesday turned off the interior lights except the security ones and then hit the alarm before returning to gather her things and lock up.

“I’m sure you walked so I’m up here.” Natalie pointed to her car.

Natalie started in again once they got on their way home. “And you, well you’ve built a wall around your heart.”

Tuesday held up a hand Natalie couldn’t see because she was driving. But her friend would know it was happening anyway. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Too bad. I’ve let you avoid it for way too long.”

“Natalie, I can’t do this right now. Everything is fine. We will eventually have sex and I will fill you in on it and that will be that. We’ll do it awhile and it’ll wear off and we’ll be those people who fuck every once in a while when they need it from someone they can trust to be a good time but not develop feelings.”

“Oh god. Seriously? This is how you’re going to play this thing? You and Ezra are fuckbuddies? You bang awhile and then you see each other all the time and it’s totally hunky-dory?”

“I’ve seen people I’ve had sex with in town or around and I don’t burst into tears that I never bore their children, Natalie.”

“Don’t get defensive with me. I know your tricks. When Paddy first came around, you told me to let him in because I didn’t have anything to lose. I’m saying that to you now. Let this be good. You deserve that. You can’t just let that part of you die.”

“I’m not some sort of defective goods, Nat.”

Natalie parked and they went into the house, heading to the kitchen, where they began to ready for the pancakes Tuesday had promised.

Neither of them spoke as they moved through the kitchen, washing hands, tying on aprons, getting the griddle heating and then mixing up the pancake batter. Natalie was a horrible cook so she gathered ingredients and then cleaned them up when Tuesday finished.

As they did all this, Natalie put out all the items they’d need with just a little too much force because she was pissed off. Normally, this was the place Natalie had stopped when the topic of Tuesday beginning to date again came up.

But things had shifted over the past year or so and it seemed pretty apparent to Tuesday that Natalie was going to push some more.

The problem was that Tuesday could lie to herself better than she could lie to Natalie. Which was also a testament to the friendship they’d had since the first day of college. They’d celebrated so many things together, grieved others, like the unthinkable when, four years prior, Tuesday’s husband had been diagnosed with cancer and had died three months later.

Through it all, through grief so deep it was simply inescapable, through that numb place she’d floated into, it was Natalie who’d grabbed hold and gave her roots. Friendship that saw everything and loved because of it saved her over and over.

So she couldn’t lie to Natalie because Natalie understood Tuesday’s grief and her avoidance behavior, too.

Once they’d settled at the table with a heaping platter of pancakes between them and two big glasses of orange juice, they began to talk again.

“He’s sexy. I like him.” Tuesday poured warmed-up boysenberry preserves on her pancakes. “Before you get huffy over there, I know it’s more than that. There’s this intensity between us that...” That she’d never in the entirety of her life felt with anyone. “I get caught up in it. It’s like he gets near and all my parts samba. He’s powerful. He takes up oxygen and space. He’s big and sexy. So. Sexy. I can’t even with how sexy he is.”

Tuesday put her face in her hands a moment before she got back to her pancakes. “Anyway, it’s not like I don’t enjoy sex. He and I are clearly compatible. He’s a grown-up. I’m a grown-up. We do our thing and at some point we don’t. Stop arguing with me on this right now.”

Natalie huffed but held her tongue. For a minute or two.

“I’ll stop for now. But you said it was like right as you were putting a condom on so that means he was naked and really I have to know.”

Tuesday guffawed. “He is one of the universe’s finest creations. I didn’t get to study as much as I wanted to because we were busy getting it on. Next time I’m going to make him stand still and just circle him slow so I can take it all in.”

“He’s so broody and emo and protective. It’s scary and hot all at once. Paddy is hard enough to manage. I can’t imagine how tough a job it will be to keep Ezra out of trouble.”

“Ha. Not my job. He’s a big boy.” Boy was he ever.

Natalie and Paddy both had a lot of scars and hot buttons, but they both seemed willing to confront them when they came up and deal with working things out, which was how to make a relationship work.

“I guess maybe I’m starting to believe you can want to hit someone in the nose with a newspaper and still love them. And that in a day or a week you won’t want to hit them anymore. So far. He’s sort of vexing so I shouldn’t make declarative statements.”

Tuesday burst out laughing. Natalie was beautiful in the way only pale blondes who look really great with short hair could manage. She was classically pretty but with an edge you’d miss until you looked a little closer.

The real Natalie, the one only those who were close to her saw, had a bawdy sense of humor. It had been a joke, all those years ago, that had planted the seed of friendship that made them close to that day.

They’d all been so young that first day in the dorms back at college. Their group of friends—1022 they called themselves informally, after the dorm room they all shared way back that first year—forged a friendship that was like a family.

They’d all been strangers, these five women who all seemed very different from one another.

Over the years they’d known one another, Tuesday had learned that Natalie had a great sense of just exactly what Tuesday needed, even if Tuesday herself hadn’t. And it was the same for her when it came to Natalie. Their connection was something big and special, a friendship that’d carried them both through some major life storms.

“After we finish up let’s get ourselves set and you call Mary to see when she wants to go over there.”

Natalie paused. “Wait a minute. I thought you had a hair appointment. You do! You were saying you’d hit the second show up looking fantastic and all done up.”

“I do, but I can reschedule.” Tuesday patted her hair. “And, we all know I’ll look fantastic either way.”

“Truth. However.” Natalie raised a brow. “You’re canceling a hair appointment to be nice to Ezra. You like Ezra.” But she sang it and it made Tuesday smirk a little.

“I’m canceling a hair appointment because a little girl and her family need the support and the ability to be together right now. I am a nice person, you know.”

Natalie snorted. “You are a nice person. Who totally has it for Ezra because you never give up hair appointments.”

“Listen, it is hard to find someone who knows what to do with all this.” Tuesday waved a hand at her hair. “I gotta take my appointments when I can get them when Nina is at the salon.” She’d learned the hard way that she needed a salon that had stylists who knew how to style and treat black women’s hair. Tuesday had found Nina, a stylist who worked two days a week at a local salon and that’s who touched Tuesday’s hair. Otherwise, she drove up to Olympia and went with her mom to a friend who did hair on the side.

Natalie’s grin undercut her attempt to be serious. “I understand. Well, actually I don’t, which is sort of sucky but anyway. I do think I need two more pancakes before I call, though. Going to be a full day—it’s really in everyone’s interest that I have all the fuel I need.”

Tuesday snorted. “You’re a giver.”

“Also—” Natalie paused to eat a little “—I want to wait until I hear back from Paddy. If they cancel the show we’ll know soon, but he didn’t think they were going to.”

“Smart.”

“At least tell me if he asked you to come tonight. You’re very stingy with details.”

Tuesday sighed and shook her head. “I can’t remember if you were this nosy with Eric.”

“I didn’t have to be. Your bedroom was next to mine. I heard how things were going.” Natalie winked.

It had been a really long time since they’d shared like this. It felt nice and Tuesday realized she’d missed it. “Yes. He asked me if I was coming tonight. He invited me to his house afterward. Obviously for sex.”

“Did you like it? That he’s interested?”

“Oh my god. Are you going to keep this up?”

Natalie laughed really hard and then nodded. “You did it to me with Paddy.” She sobered and looked at Tuesday. “I know it’s not the same. But I also know it’s not what you’ve been doing, either. Are you scared?”

It hurt to breathe for just a moment and panic raced through her system until Natalie took her wrist. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just...it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

“I know I need to let it happen. Or stop it. Or not think about it. Or maybe think more about it. I guess I don’t know what to do and...”

“And you’re not used to admitting maybe you don’t know what to do. Because you’re so fierce and strong and awesome that you don’t know how to let yourself be a little weak.”

“Please. I fucked around for eighteen months after Eric died. I was nothing but weak. Fluttering around in the breeze.” Running from a truth she did not want to accept.

Natalie’s softness hardened up immediately. “You stop. Right now. You had less than ninety days to go from learning he had cancer to burying him. So you took a little while to deal. So what? God, you’re so hard on yourself. It makes me mad.”

“Oh hush. You’re so full of shit. Who is hard on themselves? Hypocrite.”

“Of course I’m a hypocrite. It’s like you don’t even know me, Tues. But now that I’ve found true love and all that, I get to condescend to you. Jeez. This is outlined in the papers you signed back at the beginning of our friendship.” Natalie snickered and Tuesday tossed her napkin at Nat’s head.

Tuesday wasn’t totally sure of the words, but she needed to say them the best she could at that moment. “Please don’t make this into a big deal. That’s what I’m saying. I am trying to take this step by step. It’s new, even though we’ve been heading here for a while now. I am so freaked out that the only way I can get through at this point is to pretend it’s not anything.”

Natalie came around the table and hugged her. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I know you’re trying to help.”

Thank goodness for this. Tuesday hugged Natalie back and then let go. “We got shit to do. So let’s quit this foolishness and weeping. You and I are beyond that nonsense.”

“Okay. Fine. But I think we should seal this with doughnuts.”

“You think we should seal everything with doughnuts.”

Natalie straightened. “That’s because doughnuts are perfect for every occasion.”

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