The Bad Son
Linda Warren

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Linda Warren is the award-winning author of over fifteen books. She lives in College Station, Texas, not far from her birthplace, with her husband, Billy, and a menagerie of wild animals, from Canada geese to bobcats. Visit her website at www.lindawarren.net.

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To Taylor Tharp—the inspiration for this story. She is now a happy and healthy nine-year-old.

And to her parents, Melissa and Ken Tharp, for being such loving parents.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Nelda F Williams—thanks for being a good friend and offering your legal expertise, and especially for answering my many questions with such kindness and patience.

Amy Landry—neonatal nurse—thanks once again for sharing your knowledge of babies so graciously. Any errors are strictly mine.

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

About The Author

Dedication

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

EPILOGUE

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

IN THE WESTERN SKY, an orange sun sank slowly toward the hazy net of trees low on the distant horizon. It reminded Beau McCain of a large basketball sailing toward a basket. Bam. Three points. The light was gone and a shadowy dimness crept over central Texas.

He gazed through the beam of his headlights, a slight grin on his face. He’d been playing too much basketball with his brothers. He changed lanes and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The grin faded. He was returning to Waco after visiting a law firm in Dallas where he’d been offered a senior partnership, an offer he had no intention of refusing.

It was a drastic move. Living all of his forty-two years in Waco, except for a law internship in Dallas, he had his own firm practicing family law and was doing quite well. His personal life was the problem. All because of Macy Randall. He was tired of waiting for her to see him as more than a friend.

At his age, he wanted a home and a family and he had to finally acknowledge that wasn’t going to happen with Macy. He had to move on, start a new life and forget her. Moving to Dallas was a big step in that direction.

Taking an exit off I-35, he turned by a McDonald’s then onto the street leading to his subdivision. He and Macy lived next door to each other and Beau had known her all her life. She’d lived down the street when they were kids. He was eight years older, but he was a sucker for those big blue eyes and her sad little stories. Single-handedly, she was trying to save every animal on the planet.

Macy was a neonatal nurse who worked nights and Beau had babysat her strays more than once. She was never going to love a man as much as her animals. Beau wasn’t sure she saw him as anything more than a very good friend. She cried on his shoulder, told him her problems, but not once in all the years he’d known her had they progressed beyond friendship. He kept waiting, though. Like a lovesick fool, he kept waiting.

Not anymore.

Beau McCain was moving on.

He turned onto a cul-de-sac that housed several condos. When he’d bought the place, he’d no idea Macy lived next door. She’d married and moved away to Dallas, but now she was back—without a husband. He’d asked her about it, but in the last seven years she’d only said the marriage hadn’t worked out. They talked about everything else, but her marriage was a subject she avoided.

He remembered her wedding vividly. He, his younger brother, Caleb, and their parents had attended. Though he’d acted like a normal friend, all the while his heart had been breaking.

Everyone in the neighborhood knew the scrawny, curly-haired girl who was always searching for a home for the endless array of animals she rescued. When Beau returned after his internship, the scrawny girl had turned into a leggy beauty with alabaster skin he’d never noticed before. But he knew where the freckles were on her nose, even though makeup hid them flawlessly.

Following the divorce of her parents, he’d become her confidant, her friend. That was his first big mistake. The next thing he knew she was engaged—someone she’d known in college and had met again. Beau had never told Macy about his real feelings and he never planned to. Their lives went in different directions, then a short two years later they were living next door to each other and the cycle started again.

His brothers teased him all the time about Macy and her ability to wrap him around her finger. He was too good for his own well-being—that’s what his brothers said. But that’s not how he felt. His father, Joe McCain, had called him “the bad son” because when Beau’s parents had divorced, he chose to go with his mother. His brother, Jake, stayed with their father and spent years estranged from the family.

Joe McCain was a jealous, abusive man who drank heavily. When he did, he became angry and mean, and hit Althea, their mother. When Althea became pregnant with their third son, Caleb, Joe accused her of sleeping with Andrew Wellman, a man from their church. He said the baby wasn’t his and beat Althea until she was black and blue. His mother knew she had to get out or risk losing her unborn child.

But Althea hadn’t counted on Joe spreading his lies to their oldest son, Jake. When the sheriff came to take them away, Jake refused to go. It broke Althea’s heart, but she left one of her sons behind. She tried and tried, but Jake remained steadfast in his loyalty to his father.

Beau saw his father from time to time as a kid, mainly running into him by accident. Joe had refused any contact with his younger son. On those rare occasions, Joe never missed a chance to tell Beau what a bad son he was and how disloyal he was to his own father. Those words stayed with him all his life, but he never changed his decision. It only instilled in him a need to prove his father wrong—to prove he was a good son.

As a kid, he grew up wanting Jake back in his life—and Althea’s. When Joe passed away, Beau went to the funeral, determined to make contact with his older brother. Jake resisted at first, but Beau never let up. He kept talking and visiting, wearing Jake down, and he didn’t stop until he brought Jake and their mother back together. They were a real family now. Even Elijah Coltrane, a son Joe had with another woman, was a part of their big family.

Eli and Caleb were Texas Rangers and Jake ran the McCain farm. Beau knew from an early age that he was going to be a lawyer. Since his parents’ divorce, he’d become passionate about keeping families together. He was good at negotiating and working out problems. This was his life’s work.

Caleb had just married and was ecstatic. Jake had a wife and a family, and Eli was also married. He and his wife Caroline were expecting their first child. Beau wanted a bit of that happiness—with his own family.

His friend, Jeremiah Tucker, known as “Tuck” to the family, was also still single and the same age as Beau. Tuck was Eli’s foster brother and the McCain brothers had accepted him as one of their own. Since Tuck and Beau were the two single sons in the group, they’d become good friends.

Beau started to call Tuck to see if he wanted to commiserate over a beer, but he decided it would be best to go straight home. It had been a long three days and he had to tell his family about the job offer.

And he had to tell Macy.

AS HE DROVE INTO HIS GARAGE, he saw Macy sitting on her front step with her animals around her—Lucky and Lefty, two mixed-breed terriers, and Freckles, a spotted orange tabby.

He unlocked his door and went inside, thinking he’d talk to Macy later. After three days and nights of being wined and dined, he wanted time alone to rest and to regroup. And he was tired. He yanked off his tie and threw his suit jacket onto the sofa. He ran his hands over his face, feeling drained. Was he getting old, or what? He couldn’t take three days of partying? What was wrong with him? He had to exercise more—or something.

He usually ran every morning, but had missed his routine in Dallas. That’s what he needed, to work up a little sweat. As he headed for the bedroom to change into shorts and sneakers, the doorbell rang.

He grimaced. It had to be Macy. No way around it—he had to see her tonight. Just as well. He needed to get this over with, to start severing the ties that had kept him bound for so long. He took a deep breath.

Swinging the door open, that breath of fortitude dissipated like smoke into thin air. Tears trailed down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand. His fingers tightened on the doorknob and he willed himself not to react, not to let his emotions take control. The tears were probably for another pet she’d rescued. The abuse of animals always broke her heart.

“Hi.” She smiled through her tears, making her blue eyes appear that much brighter. “I saw you drive in.” Lucky and Lefty trotted inside and Freckles trailed behind them.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, doing what he always did—supporting her no matter what. His brothers were right. He was putty, soft and malleable, in Macy’s hands. Any reservation he’d had about moving just vanished. He had to salvage what was left of his selfrespect, his pride. And he couldn’t do that when he was around her.

“You’re not going to believe this.” Macy followed her animals into the living room and curled up on the sofa, her bare feet beneath her. Petite and energetic, she had shoulder-length strawberry-blond hair that had a natural curl and a life of its own. Today it seemed to be everywhere and he knew the cause. When she was upset, she was prone to running her hands through it repeatedly.

Macy wasn’t beautiful by anyone’s standard, but to him she was. She had a natural, honest appeal that was hard to resist. She was everything he’d ever wanted in a woman—kind and caring, with a great sense of humor, and never afraid to admit when she was wrong. She was perfect in every way, except she thought of him as her best friend. And nothing more.

“Delia’s back.” Through a stab of pain, he heard her soft voice.

“What?”

“Delia, she’s back. She showed up this afternoon out of the blue.”

Delia was Macy’s sister, ten years her junior. As a child, Delia had been diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactive disorder. She’d been uncontrollable until they’d put her on medication. Even though the medicine calmed her, her rebellious, bossy nature still shone through.

After the Randalls’ divorce ten years ago, Delia became more of a problem. She couldn’t stay focused in school and started skipping classes. At fourteen, she ran away and their mother, Irene, had a hard time disciplining her, especially without the influence of their father, Ted. At sixteen, Delia moved out for good and they’d had no idea where she was. Months later she’d resurface only to leave again. But Delia had always been at the center of Macy’s soft heart.

“She’s eight months pregnant and I don’t know what to do. When I tried to talk to her, she became angry and stormed upstairs to the bedroom.” Her fingers slid through her hair in a nervous gesture.

“Delia’s pregnant?”

Beau sat in an oversized leather chair and Freckles hopped onto his lap. Freckles had half a tail and one ear missing. Stray dogs tried to make a meal of her and Macy had rescued her from the animal shelter. He stroked the cat and she purred at his touch. At least someone missed him.

“Yes.”

“Have you contacted your parents?”

That was a sore subject with Macy. After twenty-five years of marriage, Ted had walked out, moved to Houston, and later remarried. After Delia ran away, Irene sold the house and moved to Denver. She soon remarried, too. Macy’s relationship with both her parents was strained. She didn’t understand how her father could do what he’d done or how her mother could give up on their marriage and Delia.

“Not yet. Not too sure it will do any good. They’re too busy with their new lives to be bothered with her, but I’ll call anyway. They need to know. I don’t understand either one of them and how they can just turn their backs on…” Her words trailed away as she fought to control her emotions. Beau resisted the urge to go to her.

Lucky, hearing the distress in Macy’s voice, crawled into her lap. Lucky had a ring around his neck where his hair wouldn’t grow anymore. Some kids tried to hang him. Once rescued, he was taken to the animal shelter, the rope still around his neck. Macy’s number was on file and whenever they received an abused animal they called her, knowing she would nurture it back to health and find a home for it. The vet had said he was lucky to be alive, so that’s what Macy named him.

She’d found Lefty on the side of the road after a car had hit him. His right paw was so mangled that it had to be amputated. He hobbled on three legs and Macy had had him for years. Both dogs whimpered in her lap and Macy’s face changed completely. The stress disappeared and her face softened. Her animals brought her a peace that no one else could.

“In a way, your parents are right,” he told her. “Delia’s been on her own for a long time and she’s never taken kindly to interference in her life, from them or you.”

“I know, but there’s a baby involved now and she won’t even tell me who the father is. She won’t tell me anything.”

“She probably never will, and come a new day Delia could just as easily be gone again.”

“Yeah.” Macy stroked the dogs.

“Try not to argue with her because it’s not going to make a bit of difference. It never has.”

“You’re right.” She tried to smile and failed. “I always feel better when I talk to you.” She ran her hands through her hair again. “Oh, crap, I should have combed my hair before coming over here. I must look a mess. Or like a Brillo pad.”

You look beautiful.

He grinned. “It is sticking out in different directions.”

“Beau McCain.” She lifted an eyebrow. “You could at least say something flattering.”

I do, but you never hear me.

“I think it’s rather fetching like that.”

Her hand stilled. “You do?” For a moment she paused and he wondered if his opinion of her looks meant something to her, then she came back with one of her usual remarks. “You’re such a diplomatic lawyer and an even better liar.”

He winced. “Ouch.”

“Don’t pretend your feelings are hurt.” She stood with both dogs in her arms. “I better go back to the war zone and see what Delia’s visit is all about.”

Beau walked her to the door. “Let her talk and try not to pressure her. Just be patient.”

“I’ll try. I just worry about her.” At the door, she stopped. “How was your trip?”

“Fine.” He refrained from saying anything else.

“I miss you when you’re not here.”

For a brief second, his heart knocked against his ribs in excitement, then he had to remind himself that they were just words. Nothing else. Now was the time to tell her he was planning on moving, but she was too upset about her sister. He’d do it later.

MACY WALKED BACK to her condo, feeling the dried grass beneath her feet. She’d forgotten to put on her shoes. Oh well. She took a moment to breathe in the crisp February air. Soon spring would arrive, heralding new life and new beginnings. Maybe there was hope for her and Delia to start again.

Delia came down the stairs, her corn-colored hair orange in spots from being bleached so much. Why Delia had to do that to her hair, Macy didn’t understand. She never understood a lot of things about her sister, but she loved her and was going to be patient and listen like Beau had said.

She was so glad he was back. Her world just wasn’t right when he wasn’t around. There weren’t many people in her life she could trust, but Beau was…

Her thoughts stopped as Delia went to the refrigerator and grabbed a Coke, some chips and cookies. “I’m starving,” Delia said, and plopped her large frame into a chair.

“I can fix you something to eat,” Macy offered.

“No, thanks. I live off junk food.”

But it’s so bad for the baby. No, don’t say a word. Be patient.

She took a long breath. “So, how are you?”

“Big as a cow. My back hurts and I can’t sleep. I hate being pregnant.”

Macy sat at the table and stopped herself from running her hands through her hair. “It’ll be over soon.”

“Yeah.” Delia wolfed down two chocolate chip cookies. “The sooner the better because this is hell.”

Macy counted to three. “Have you talked to Mom or Dad lately?”

Delia stopped in the process of stuffing food into her mouth. “How likely is that?”

Macy let that pass. “We worry when we don’t hear from you.”

“Yeah, right.” Delia chuckled in disbelief. “You’re happy when you don’t hear from me. At least I’m not bugging you for money.”

“That’s not true.”

“Well, the last time I visited dear ol’ Mom, I met her new hubby. He has to be ten years younger than her. She couldn’t wait for me to leave—I think she was afraid I’d make a pass at him. And when I saw Dad and his young wife, they wanted me out as soon as possible. Didn’t say it, but every question, every nervous glance, made that crystal clear. So please don’t try to make me believe that my so-called family is worried about me.”

“I am,” Macy said quietly. “I worry about you all the time.”

“But that’s you, Macy. You worry about everyone, including every animal on this earth.” Delia took a swallow of the Coke. “Thought this place would be like a zoo, but you have only three critters. That has to be a first.”

Macy let that pass, too. “You’re my sister. I love you.” She paused. “Are you still on your meds?”

“Nope. Don’t see the need.”

Macy bit her lip. “Are you having an easy pregnancy?”

“I feel so keyed up, I can’t sit still and sometimes I feel as if I’m going crazy.”

“You’re not,” Macy assured her. “I’d like for you to see a doctor while you’re here. I’ll help all I can.”

Delia swung back her yellow hair and stretched her back, her large stomach protruding. “Don’t razz me. I just need a place to stay for a couple of days. I’m waiting for a deal to go through and when it does, I’ll be outta here.”

Macy frowned. “Deal?”

“No questions, because you wouldn’t like the answers.”

What was Delia up to? Be patient. “Do you know the sex of the baby?”

“A girl.”

“A little girl. How nice.” Warm, precious memories surfaced and she quickly forced them away.

“You would say that.” Delia pushed to her feet, her hands rubbing her back. “God, my back is killing me. Do you have any pain pills? I could use something, the stronger the better.”

“You shouldn’t take anything without a doctor’s advice. It could hurt the baby.” Her patience ran out and she couldn’t stop the censure in her voice.

“Don’t tell me what to do. That’s what I hate about you—you’re always trying to run my life.”

Macy sucked in a deep breath. “It’s for your own good. You have to think about the baby. I’ll give you a massage, that will help to calm you.”

“Go to hell,” Delia said in anger, then waddled to the stairs and soon Macy heard a door slam.

Macy sat there for a moment. Like Beau had said, Delia had been living on her own for a long time and there wasn’t much she could do. But an innocent baby was involved. That’s what got Macy the most—the baby. Who was going to love her, care for her and give her a home? She didn’t think Delia was capable of doing any of those things. No, she corrected herself. She knew Delia wasn’t capable of doing any of those things.

Before she could change her mind, she picked up the phone and called her mother. Irene wasn’t too concerned.

“Macy, I’m not sure what you expect me to do. Delia has made it very clear that she doesn’t want me to interfere in her life.”

“What about the baby?”

There was a long pause, then her mother replied, “That’s Delia’s responsibility.”

“I see.”

“Macy, you know how Delia is. She won’t listen to me or take her meds. I’ve been through hell with her and I’m not putting myself through that again.”

“Okay. I just wanted to let you know that you’re going to be a grandmother.” Saying that, she hung up and realized she was trembling. And she was angry.

That anger driving her, she phoned her father, something she wouldn’t normally do. Ever since he’d walked out on their mother, Macy had a hard time talking to him. But this was important.

His wife answered and tension coiled inside her at the thought of her father’s new life. A life that neither Macy nor Delia had a part in. It was hard to get past the resentment, but she kept trying. Soon her father was on the line. His response was the same as her mother’s.

“Delia never listens to me. There’s nothing I can do.”

She gritted her teeth. “I just thought you might like to know.”

“Macy…”

She hung up, not wanting to hear anything else. She had to take several deep breaths to calm herself. Picking up Freckles, she walked to the window. It was dark, but from the streetlight she saw Beau jog by.

Beau usually asked her to run with him. Why hadn’t he tonight? Because of Delia—that had to be it. Beau had seemed different earlier. He didn’t have a lot to say and he usually told her all about his business trips. Maybe he was just tired.

Dear, sweet Beau—her knight in shining armor. When everyone else in her life had let her down, Beau was always there. He’d been her best friend forever. She wondered what he’d say if she told him that she’d had a gigantic crush on him when she was a teenager. She and his younger brother, Caleb, were the same age and she’d make all kinds of excuses to see Caleb in the hopes of seeing Beau.

When Beau went to college, he lived in the dorm and when she’d spot his car at home she made sure she got to see him. Then she started college, then nursing school and met Allen. They dated but he graduated and moved on to a job in Baltimore. He worked for a large drug company and a year later they met again and renewed their relationship. Soon they were in love and planning a future. She forgot about Beau and her silly crush.

But at the wedding, when Beau had wished them well, for a brief moment she remembered thinking it could have been you. Because he was older, she was sure he only saw her as the kid down the street.

And she’d thought that Allen was the answer to all her dreams. He wasn’t—far from it. She shuddered and forced herself not to remember. Not tonight.

Fate had landed her and Beau in condos next to each other. It had been a big surprise when they realized they were neighbors again. That had been seven years ago. And not once in all those years had either of them crossed the line of friendship. At times, she wanted to and she couldn’t explain why she hadn’t. She wasn’t a kid anymore, but she sometimes wondered if Beau still saw her that way. She was an adult woman and a part of her needed more. Beau never seemed inclined to change their relationship. That was fine with her. Their friendship was more important.

Was that it? Was it safer as friends? That way she could never be hurt again. She nuzzled Freckles. With animals it was so simple. You shower them with love and attention and they return it tenfold. There were no feelings of rejection—the way it should be with humans.

She’d given her father her love and he’d walked out on them without one word of explanation. He wasn’t happy. Big deal. She never would understand that. How could a man turn his back on his wife? His daughters?

Allen had done the same thing, she reminded herself. He’d left, but at least she’d known why. She was less than perfect and he didn’t want a flawed wife. Tears stung her eyes and she resolutely refused to cry.

Freckles purred and she cuddled her. Would she ever trust a man again? Probably not. But she trusted Beau. That felt strange to her, especially since she’d sworn off men for the rest of her life. Beau was different, though. She knew him inside and out and he was wonderful and nice and sometimes too damn handsome for his own good. He made her laugh and he made her feel good about herself. Then why had she never told him that?

Fear. Like monsters under the bed. You know they’re not there, but when it’s dark and the silence mingles with your breath, your mind believes. If she told Beau her true feelings, the light would come on and expose her for the woman she was. A woman a husband couldn’t love. A young girl a father couldn’t love. She couldn’t take anymore rejections—especially not from Beau.

So where did that leave them? Friends.

As that thought warmed her heart, Beau jogged to his condo. She watched until he disappeared up the walk. Sweat poured down his face and his breathing was labored. She didn’t need to be close to him to know that. That’s the way he was every time they ran and she teased him about his age. He teased her about her frizzy hair. They laughed a lot. Macy needed that and a part of her knew that she needed Beau.

Would she ever be able to tell him? Would she ever be able to expose the monster under her bed?

CHAPTER TWO

BEAU TOOK A QUICK shower, pulled on pajama bottoms, grabbed bottled water out of the refrigerator, and flopped onto the sofa. He wasn’t hungry so he didn’t bother with food. Picking up the remote control, he found a basketball game and settled in for the night. He kept his mind a blank, concentrating on the plays instead of what he had to do tomorrow—tell Macy goodbye.

The sound of the phone ringing woke him. Opening one eye, he looked at his watch—2:00 a.m. Who was calling this late? He quickly clicked off the TV and yanked up the phone.

“Beau, Delia’s in labor. Could you please drive us to the hospital? I’m too nervous.”

“Sure,” he answered without a second thought. “I’ll bring the car to your front door. Be there in a minute.”

He slipped into jeans and a T-shirt. Within minutes he was parked in front of Macy’s condo. She came out holding on to Delia and Beau hurried to help. He hadn’t seen Delia in a while and she looked as bad as he’d ever seen her.

“Hey, Beau,” Delia said in between groans.

“Delia.” He took her arm. “Doesn’t look like you’re feeling too good.”

“Got knocked up. Can you believe that?” A desperate laugh escaped on a moan.

“Yep.”

Delia laughed. “At least you’re honest.” She clutched her stomach and cried out in pain. Between the two of them they managed to get Delia into the backseat. Macy sat with her and Beau crawled into the driver’s seat. They sped toward the nearest emergency room.

Delia continued to scream with pain.

“Take deep breaths,” Macy instructed.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Delia snapped. “You know I hate it when you do that. And I’m not in labor. It’s too early.” She let out an earth-shattering scream that said otherwise. “Dammit. I can’t have this baby now. Macy, do something. You’re a nurse. Make it stop.”

“We’ll be at the hospital in a minute,” Macy replied in a calm voice, but Beau caught a thread of panic in her tone.

“I can’t have this baby now. Macy, do you hear me?”

“Yes. People three blocks away can hear you. Calm down.”

“Dammit, this hurts.”

Beau pulled into the emergency area and a nurse was waiting with a wheelchair. Evidently Macy had called ahead. Smart woman.

“Beau, thanks,” Macy called as the nurse wheeled Delia away.

He drove around, looking for a parking spot. What was he doing? He should go home and let Macy handle her own life. When he left for Dallas, she would have to. This is where he drew the fictional line in the sand. This is where he walked away.

But Beau had learned something about himself. He couldn’t leave a person in need. His mother raised him to be kind and caring and he wasn’t the type to abandon a friend.

He hated himself for that—for caring too much. Nice guys finished last. Isn’t that what they said?

In the maternity ward, he looked around but didn’t see them. A door opened and Macy, dressed in scrubs, came out talking to a doctor. She noticed him and immediately came over.

“Beau, I thought you’d gone home.”

“No. I wanted to make sure Delia was okay.”

“As much as she denies it, she’s in labor. She’s dilated ten centimeters and it shouldn’t be much longer.”

“Isn’t the baby early?”

“Yes. But who knows? Delia could be further along than she realizes.” Macy tucked a stand of hair behind her ear. Beau noticed her hair was tamed and clipped behind her head. “I’ve asked about the father and all she’ll say is that he’s not in the picture anymore.”

“That explains why she showed up at your house.”

“Mmm.”

“She knows you’ll take care of her and the baby.”

“Yeah. She keeps muttering something about a plan and I don’t have a clue what she’s talking about. When I ask about her plans for the baby, she gets angry.” She glanced toward the hall. “They’re giving her an epidural so I better get back in there. I want to be present when the baby arrives.”

“I’ll wait out here.”

She gave a warm smile that felt as soothing as a towel fresh from the dryer. “Go home. I’m sorry I bothered you, but I didn’t know who else to call.”

“No problem.” He eased onto a sofa in the waiting area. “Let me know when the baby comes.”

“Beau…”

“What?”

“Go home. You can’t rest here.”

“I’ve slept on worse.” He leaned his head on the cushion. “Go back to your sister.”

“You’re a special man, Beau McCain.”

“Mmm.” He closed his eyes. “I’ll remind you of that one of these days.”

Her lips brushed his forehead and his eyes flew open. The scent of her filled his nostrils—lilacs and fresh soap—and for a moment he was lost in the sensation. But damn, his mother kissed him like that. He didn’t want those kind of kisses from Macy. He wanted the real thing.

Macy disappeared around the corner and he made himself as comfortable as he could on the hardest sofa he’d ever slept on. He stared up at the ceiling, sleep the furthest thing from his mind. Here he was with Macy because that’s where he wanted to be. He blew out a hard breath, knowing he was in so deep that putting distance between himself and Macy was not going to make a difference.

Why was he trying to fool himself?

BEAU NAPPED ON AND OFF. At six he stretched and went in search of coffee. A nurse finally gave him a cup. As he sipped it, he saw Macy down the hall talking to a doctor. He walked over and realized she wasn’t talking, but arguing in a way he’d never seen her do before.

“I insist you run a full battery of tests,” she was saying.

“I’ve been doing this a long time and in my opinion I feel it’s unnecessary,” the doctor replied.

“I want the tests done,” Macy repeated in a stubborn voice Beau knew well. Evidently the doctor did, too.

“Fine, Macy. Just calm down and let me do my job.” The doctor strolled away to the nursery.

“What’s wrong?” Beau asked.

“The birth went smoothly and the baby seemed fine. But when we checked her in the nursery we detected a low-pitched intermittent inspiratory sound. Dr. Pender feels it’s stridor which we see in some newborns.”

“And he doesn’t feel it’s anything serious?”

“No.” Her chin jutted out.

“And you do?”

“Yes. Something’s wrong. I know it is.” Her voice wavered slightly.

“What do you think it is?”

“Her heart. Dr. Pender feels I’m overreacting. I told him how our sister died from an atrial septal defect when she was two days old but he thinks I’m just being paranoid.” She paced back and forth in agitation. Beau had never seen her quite like this. She didn’t trust the doctor and he wondered why.

He caught her by the forearms and stopped her. “Calm down and take a deep breath. They’ll run the tests and find out for sure.”

“I suppose.” She drew in deeply several times. “The baby is so tiny, a little over five pounds.”

“But otherwise healthy?”

“Yes. Her blood sugar is fine and there’s no fluid on her lungs.”

But he heard a note of distrust again. “Then trust him.” Her expression didn’t change. “I need another cup of coffee. Come with me to the cafeteria.”

“No. I want to be here for the baby.”

Beau took her elbow. “Let the doctor do his job, and you need a break. We’ll only be gone a minute.”

She removed her scrubs without a word of protest and followed him to the elevator. In the cafeteria, she took a seat and he ordered the coffee. This early the place was empty except for two nurses in a corner. He noticed a couple of boxes of fresh donuts that had just been delivered.

Macy loved donuts. It was her weakness. He paid for two and carried them with the coffee to the table.

She looked at the donuts, then at him. “Are you trying to make me fat?”

“Impossible.” He took a seat. “You burn off more energy than anyone I know. These are to cheer you up.”

“You’re eating one.” She made a face at him.

“Deal.”

She dipped one into her coffee and ate it delicately, like a child. He enjoyed watching her. She licked the icing from her lips and eyed the half-eaten donut on his plate. “Aren’t you finishing that?”

He pushed it across to her. “You can have it.” It was common for them to eat off each other’s plates and he considered if maybe they were too comfortable with each other. Maybe there was no excitement or mystery left. He didn’t believe that, though. A whole new dimension of emotions was just waiting for them, if only she’d let it happen.

She finished it in record time and wiped her mouth. “Now I feel better. I’ll be on a sugar high for the rest of the day, but I’m better.”

Sipping his coffee, Beau turned his thoughts to something else. “Why don’t you trust the doctor?”

She looked at him over the rim of her cup. His eyes were dark and warm, like the coffee, and just as stimulating. Now was the time to tell him her secret, her insecurities and her fears. Something held her back. She trusted him more than anyone, but she still wasn’t ready to expose the monster under her bed.

“I guess I’m too closely involved.”

“She’s your sister.”

She nodded. “I know what you’re going to say—not to get emotionally attached because Delia and the baby could be gone tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

She twisted her cup. “It’s not easy for me. My parents turned their backs on Delia. I can’t do that. I have to be here for her and the baby.”

“I know.” He drained his cup.

She reached out and ran the back of her hand across his cheek, feeling his stubble against her sensitive fingers.

He rubbed his jaw. “I need a shave.”

“I like it.”

“Really?”

“Sure. You’re like a rugged he-man you see in the magazines.” But Beau looked better than any man she’d ever seen in a magazine because he had a kind heart and a loving soul.

“You like those type of men?”

She grinned. “I’ll never tell.” She pushed back her chair. “I better get back to Delia. She’s probably awake by now.”

He followed her to the elevator. “Think I’ll go home, shower and change.”

“Would you mind checking on my gang and make sure they have enough food? And if you have time, let them out for a few minutes.” Beau had a key to her house and often checked on her animals.

“Okay. I’ll be back later.” He strolled away with his smooth, easy strides and she watched him with a heavy heart. She had to do something about their relationship and soon.

THE TIME SEEMED TO CRAWL as the baby was undergoing tests. Macy paced and watched the clock. Finally she went to Delia’s room. She was awake, drinking juice.

“How are you?” Macy asked.

“Sore from head to toe and ready to get out of this place. The doctor said the baby’s undergoing some tests. What’s wrong?”

“She’s making a squeaky sound when she breathes. They’re trying to determine the cause.”

“Dammit. I can’t even have a kid right. What the hell am I going to do with a sick baby? Macy, what am I going to do? I can’t handle this.”

Macy tucked Delia’s hair behind her ears and love for her sister filled her heart. So many memories surfaced from Delia’s childhood. Macy, help me. Don’t tell Mom and Dad. Just one small favor. I love you, Macy. And Macy never said no. She would always be there for Delia.

“Just love her,” Macy said simply.

Delia squirmed in the bed. “I don’t know how to do that. Macy, please help me.”

“You know I will. I’ll show you how to take care of her. I’ll show you everything.”

“I don’t think I can. I just can’t do it.”

She knew Delia was confused and overwhelmed at the enormous responsibility, not to mention that her hormones were out of whack.

“They’ll bring the baby in a little while for you to nurse. Once you hold her, you’ll feel completely different.”

“Nurse?” Delia pushed up in the bed, a look of terror on her face. “No, no. I can’t do that. This baby was an accident and I don’t plan on nursing it.”

Macy stroked Delia’s arm. “A lot of mothers choose to use formula.”

Delia squirmed again. “She won’t be like me, will she, Macy? Impulsive, foolish and a little crazy?”

“You only think of yourself that way. I see someone who could be an unbelievable young woman if you’d just let it happen.”

Delia sighed. “Go away, Macy. I have to decide what to do.”

“You don’t have a lot of options.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

Macy didn’t know what to make of that so she put it down to hormones. Delia would feel differently once she held her baby.

“I’ll go check on the baby. Get some rest. You’ve had a rough night.”

“Macy?”

She turned back.

“I’d like to name her Zoë.”

Macy felt a moment of relief. Delia was showing an interest. That was very good. “Would you like the father’s name on the birth certificate?” She might be pressing her luck, but she tried anyway.

Delia shook her head. “You just don’t give up, do you? Just put Zoë Jane Randall on the birth certificate.”

Macy was taken aback. Jane was her middle name, named after Irene’s mother. “I like it.”

“Thought you would. It’s for Grandma.”

“Grandma Jane would be proud.”

“Yeah. She was the only one who ever took an interest in me.”

That was very true. Delia had defied discipline as a kid, but Grandma Jane had a way with her. She passed away when Delia was twelve and after that Delia’s problems had escalated out of control.

“Is there anyone you’d like me to call?”

“Like who?”

“I haven’t seen you in a year, so you had to be living with someone, someone who might be worried about you.”

Delia scooted down in the bed and pulled a pillow close. “You’re the only one who worries about me. That’s because you don’t know any better and you never seem to learn.”

Delia drifted off to sleep and Macy walked out with a sigh.

BEAU CHECKED ON Macy’s animals and fed them—a ritual he was quite used to. When Macy worked and he was at home, the trio stayed at his place. He often let them out and took them for walks. Freckles didn’t believe in exercise, but the dogs jogged with him sometimes.

They followed him to the door, so he let them come to his house, knowing they wanted some company. They curled up on his bed while he showered and shaved. Putting on clean jeans, he watched them.

Macy had taught them all sorts of tricks. One was making up the bed. He’d just thrown the sheet and comforter back last night, intending to crawl into bed after the game. But he’d never made it.

Lucky caught the corner of the sheet with his teeth and pulled it across the bed, slipping off the side of the bed and hanging by his teeth until the sheet pulled tight. Lefty did the same with the comforter. Then both dogs jumped onto the bed and sniffed and pulled until they thought the job was done. Freckles hopped into the center, curled into a ball and promptly fell asleep.

Lucky and Lefty barked at her and Beau smiled at their antics. “Thanks, guys,” he said. “Time to go home.” They followed him to Macy’s. He hated to leave them, but Macy would be home soon. Or at least he hoped she would.

He drove to his mom and dad’s. He had to tell them about the move, which he wasn’t all that sure about anymore. The aroma of something good cooking greeted him as he entered his mom’s big kitchen, her haven. She loved to cook. Katie, his five-year-old niece and Jake’s daughter, sat on a bar stool pulled up to the island staring at some cookies that obviously had just been taken out of the oven. Bandy, a small black-and-white dog and one of Macy’s rescues, looked up at Katie, waiting for a morsel of food.

“Uncle Beau.” Katie jumped off the stool and ran into his arms.

He swung her around and kissed her cheek.

Katie pointed to the cookies. “Granny and me made peanut butter cookies. Want one?”

“You bet.”

Katie slipped to the floor and he smiled at his mother. Her brown hair was turning grayer every day, but she still looked the same to him, petite with a few extra pounds and a heart of gold. She stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“Hi, dear. How was your trip?”

“Pretty good.”

Katie came toward him walking very carefully with a cookie held in both hands. Bandy hopped up and down behind her. Althea grabbed a napkin and Katie deposited the treat gently on the table. Beau sat down and took a bite, Katie’s big brown eyes watching him.

“Is it good?” she wanted to know.

“The best ever.”

“It’s got lots of love in it. Granny and me always put it in.”

He kissed her forehead. “And I taste it.”

Andrew walked in, his glasses perched on his nose. “Beau, son, I didn’t know you were home.”

Beau stood and hugged him. Accepting his stepfather, Andrew Wellman, into his life after living with Joe McCain hadn’t been hard at all.

Beau was afraid of his father and his temper, but he’d never been afraid of Andrew. Everything he’d learned about kindness and caring, everything that wasn’t inherited, he learned from Andrew. He taught him about life and how to be a man with a sensitive heart and a strong faith. Church had been the cornerstone of his new life and he needed that just as his mother had. Without her eldest son, she was lost, and so was Beau.

Now they all had a second chance and he’d never seen his mother happier. She thrived on being a grandmother.

Andrew turned to Katie. “I’ve got the movie all set to go. Ready?”

“Yay.” Katie clapped her hands. “Is it about the donkey?”

“Yes.”

Katie looked at Beau. “Want to watch it?”

“No, thanks. I’ll talk to Granny.”

“Okay. Grandpa, Bandy and me will watch the movie.”

After they left, Althea brought more cookies to the table. “How about a cup of coffee?”

“Sure. Where’s Jake and Elise?” Katie was now in school so there had to be a reason she was here today.

“It’s a teacher workday so the kids didn’t have school, but Jake, Elise and Ben had a meeting with Ben’s teacher.”

“Is he okay?” Ben had developmental problems and they all worried about him.

“He’s fine. He wants to play Little League baseball. Elise and Jake are cautious and I don’t blame them. They just want to make sure he’s up for it.” She set a cup of coffee in front of him.

He took a sip. “Have you heard from Caleb?”

“They’re visiting Josie’s family in Beckett. They should be back tomorrow.” Althea smiled. “Caleb walks about six feet off the ground these days.”

“He’s very happy,” Beau commented.

“Yes, and it’s wonderful to see. I wish all my sons were as happy.”

Beau shifted uneasily. “Who’s not happy?” But he knew what was coming next. He’d opened a can of worms and he prepared himself for the stink. It took about a split second.

“You’re not happy. You’re my single son, my unmarried son.”

He gritted his teeth. “Not all men have to be married to be happy.”

“You do.”

“Mom.” He took a deep breath and shifted gears. “Macy’s sister, Delia, is back and she had a baby girl last night.”

“What!” Althea drew back, thrown completely off guard, as he’d intended.

“She gave birth last night,” he repeated.

“How is Macy taking this?”

“She hasn’t seen Delia in a year and she’s trying to be supportive.”

“Yes. That’s Macy.” Althea shook her head. “So sad what happened to that family. They just broke apart after the divorce, then Macy married that man. Don’t even remember his name, but he was all wrong for her. I haven’t talked to Irene in years. Macy said she’s remarried?”

“Yes. Divorce is sad. I deal with it every day. Maybe that’s why I’m not so strong on marriage. So far it hasn’t lived up to its billing.”

“Don’t be cynical. That’s not you.”

It wasn’t. He always suggested counseling to people who came to him wanting a divorce. If he could get them to talking, communicating, it helped with the process. Some only wanted to talk to him and he gladly obliged, saving a few marriages. When he did that, he knew he wasn’t a bad person, a bad son.

He decided to change the subject. “I have a job offer from the law firm I visited in Dallas. Senior partnership, big office, unbelievable perks—the works.”

She patted his hand. “How nice. Everyone knows what an excellent attorney you are and I’m sure there are a lot of firms who’d love to have you. But I’m also sure you refused.”

“Not yet. I’m giving it some thought.”

Althea’s eyes opened wide in disbelief. Without a word she got up and walked into the kitchen, putting dishes into the sink. The rattle of pans was deafening in the silence of the room. Beau was dumbfounded. Clearly his mother was upset. He never dreamed she’d react like this.

Andrew strolled in. “We need cookies and milk to watch the movie.”

His mother grabbed a plate and threw cookies onto it. “Beau’s moving to Dallas,” she said curtly.

“What?” Andrew looked from his wife to Beau.

“I had a great job offer,” Beau explained.

“Dallas is so far away,” Andrew mumbled, then caught himself. “But if it’s what you want, son, we’ll support you.”

“How can you say that?” Althea flared. “I need Beau. I depend on him, we all do.” His mom swung to face him. “I’ve depended on you since I had the courage to leave Joe McCain. You were just a kid, but very responsible for your age. After Caleb was born, I depended on you to help Caleb understand why his father denied who he really was. Most of all I depended on you to bring Jake back into the family. It took years, but you never let up on your brother.”

“Mom…”

“Jake was stubborn, though, believing all the lies Joe had told him about me. It wasn’t until Jake found out he had a son by another woman and needed your help legally that everything fell into place. You fought tirelessly to make that happen. That’s the type of person you are.”

“Thea,” Andrew intervened. “Why are you dredging up the past?”

“Because Beau is the foundation of this family. When Ben’s mother kidnapped him, Jake and Elise were beside themselves, not knowing if they’d ever see their son again. Then Jake turned to me needing my solace and comfort like he had when he was a boy. Ben was safely returned and old wounds began to heal. I had my son back and we became a family again. All because of Beau.”

Andrew put his arm around Althea. “Thea, we all recognize what a wonderful person Beau is, but he has a right to live his own life. I’m sure he has a good reason for considering this job offer and we should support him.”

His mother looked directly at him. “This is about Macy?”

“Mom…”

“She’s the reason you’ve never married. It’s always been Macy for you. Leaving isn’t going to change any of that.”

Beau got to his feet. “I came for support, but I can see I’m not going to get it.”

“Your family needs you,” Althea said.

Beau saw that for what it was—a guilt trip. He wouldn’t let his mother do this to him. “Maybe it’s time they needed someone else. I have my own life to live. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with my decision.”

“Your mother’s just upset.”

Beau looked into Althea’s clouded eyes and the urge was strong to tell her that he’d always be here for everyone, mending bridges, mending hurt feelings and attending to everyone’s needs but his own. Today wasn’t one of those days, though. He turned and walked out.

“Not my Beau,” he heard his mother cry. “Andrew, go after him. Tell him he can’t leave.”

“Thea, get yourself under control. We’ve never interfered in our grown sons’ lives and we’re not starting now.”

Beau didn’t wait to hear anymore. He’d spent his life nurturing his family, being the good son his mother wanted him to be. The good son he had to be. He never wanted to be like Joe McCain, unfeeling and uncaring.

As he drove away, for the first time, he felt a trace of Joe inside him. He’d hurt his mother and he’d never meant to do that. But he wasn’t going back to apologize. He’d call her later. For now he needed some space, some time.

It’s because of Macy.

His mother knew him well.

CHAPTER THREE

HE WENT BY HIS OFFICE and checked in with his secretary, Liz Meadows. The older woman was an invaluable asset. She’d been with him since he’d opened his practice fifteen years ago and her direct, no-nonsense manner kept his office running smoothly.

She handed him several messages. “Those need your attention. The rest I took care of.”

“Thanks, Liz.” He flipped through the names. There was nothing that couldn’t wait.

“Since it’s late, I assume you’re not planning on working.”

“No.” He didn’t feel he needed to explain further.

Liz stood with her hands on her hips, waiting.

“What?” He looked up.

“You know what I’m anxious to hear, so let’s have it.” She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose with one quick movement.

Liz knew the Dallas law firm might make him an offer—she was the only person who did and he trusted her discretion. But sometimes her avid curiosity, or just plain nosiness, got under his skin.

“The meetings went fine.”

Liz rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, don’t give me that bull. Did they make you an offer or not?”

“Yes.”

There was a long, awkward pause.

“Are you taking the job?” Her eyes narrowed to tiny slits.

“Liz…”

“There’s a lot of people in this office who depend on you for work and I’m one of them. You’re just gonna up and leave us high and dry? What are we going to do for jobs? At my age the job market is not all that appealing. This isn’t like you, Beau McCain. You’re responsible, dependable and…”

If he heard that one more time, he was going to scream or hit somebody. And that really wasn’t his nature. Liz’s voice drummed on inside his head like a steady, relentless rain, annoying the hell out of him.

“I haven’t made a final decision. But I will take care of everyone who works for me. No one will be without a job.”

“Yeah.” She snorted. “Like I want to work for someone else. I’m too old for this, Beau.”

“Change is good. Haven’t you heard that?”

“Ha.” She waved a hand. “You’re going through a midlife crisis, that’s what’s wrong with you. Take your family and your next-door neighbor off speed dial and go on one of those single’s cruises. Have a fling. Hell, have several flings. It’ll get that restlessness out of your system and make you feel young again. Then come home to your family and friends in Waco. Not Dallas. Dallas isn’t for you. Take it from someone who has known you for a very long time.”

He picked up a pencil and resisted the urge to break it in half. “I wish people would stop making assumptions and decisions about my life. Bottom line—it is my life, so butt out, Liz.”

Indignant, she stiffened. “Whatever,” she mumbled under her breath.

He stood and Liz knew just how far she could push him and when to stop. That’s why she still had a job.

“Jon is handling the Powers’ case and Natalie has the Coleman case.” Liz shifted to business. “Anything you’d like to tell them?”

“No. They do their jobs very well.” He stuffed the messages in his pocket. “I’ll be back on Monday.”

“Beau?”

He turned.

“You’ve earned this big fancy job, but I’ll miss you. We’ll all miss you. That’s all I’m trying to say.”

“I know. Thanks.”

“But…”

“No buts, Liz. Stop while you’re ahead. I’ll let you know as soon as I decide.” With that, he walked out.

IN HIS CAR HE TOOK a couple of deep breaths. He wasn’t expecting this kind of opposition and it was starting to get to him. His whole life was here and he had a good job, good family and friends. Why was he running away? Why did he feel that leaving would change his feelings for Macy?

Before he could answer the questions, his cell buzzed. He saw the number. Jake. His mom had found reinforcements.

“Hey, Beau, what’s going on? I just left Mom’s and she’s pretty upset. She said you’re thinking about moving to Dallas.”

His hand tightened on the cell. “It’s a very good job offer. I haven’t decided yet.”

“This is awful sudden, isn’t it?”

“I was hoping for some support, big brother.”

There was a moment of silence. “Hell, Beau. I’m sorry. I was thinking about myself and my kids and the family. We all depend on you. You keep us all together and never fail to remind us about the brothers’ meeting every month. We never worry about the date because we know you’ll call us. But if this is something you really want to do, then I’m there for you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Beau?”

“Hmm?”

“You sound strange. Are you okay?”

No. He wasn’t okay. He felt like a traitor—deserting his family and friends.

“I’m fine. This is just a difficult decision.”

“Don’t worry about Mom. I’ll talk to her.”

“Thanks, Jake. How’s Ben?” Beau wanted to change the subject.

“He’s fine. We talked to his teacher and the coach and we’ve agreed to let him play in Little League. It’s past the sign-up day, but we got everything okayed. We were worried because he doesn’t have great coordination, but the coach thought it would be good for him. Ben is so excited that he’s going to get a uniform and play with some of his friends. I told Ben you and I would practice with him, but since you might not be here Elise will have to help. Can you imagine that?”

Beau closed his eyes briefly. This was his family and he’d never let them down. He made sure he was always there for them. A paralyzing pain shot through his heart. What was he doing? Why was he feeling so guilty about the choice in front of him?

“She might be better than you think.”

“Yeah. Now wouldn’t that be something. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Beau stared at the phone for a few minutes then headed for the hospital. Now that his mother was aware of his plans, it was only a matter of time before Macy found out. He had to tell her before that happened.

For his mother to enlist Jake’s help, she had to be really upset. That reaction still floored him. All his life she’d encouraged and supported everything he’d done. But he’d been within easy access, not far from her. This was different. Dallas was two hours away.

She’d said that she depended on him. And she had. It had been just him and her in that one-room apartment after she’d left Joe. She’d tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he’d cry at night because he missed Jake. She cried, too. Then somehow their positions shifted and he was the one telling her everything was going to be okay.

Althea depended on him to keep them together, as did Jake. Even though they were busy with their own lives, he made sure they all stayed in contact. Suddenly he knew what his mother was so afraid of. With him in Dallas, she was afraid the family would fall apart again, as the Randall family had.

He could call her, but he couldn’t tell her with certainty that he wasn’t leaving. That was still a very real possibility. He’d go over in the morning and have a long talk with her, reassure her that the family was strong and stable and nothing was ever going to break them apart again. Of that he was certain.

WHEN HE REACHED the maternity ward, he saw Macy coming out of the nursery. Her hair was pulled back and held with a clip. Loose strands curled around her face. With no makeup, the sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheekbones was visible. And she looked beautiful. His heart knocked like a faulty engine. She pulled off her scrubs and stared at a baby in an incubator.

“Is that her?” he asked quietly, walking to her side.

Macy glanced at him. “Yes, that’s Zoë, Delia’s daughter. To maintain a normal body temperature, Dr. Pender decided to keep her in the incubator for a few days.”

Beau stared at the tiny infant with wisps of strawberry-blond hair. She wore only a diaper, and round stickers attached cardiac and respiratory monitor cords to her small chest. His gut tightened at the sight.

“Is she okay?”

“Yes.”

“What’s that contraption she’s wearing?” A clear plastic bubble surrounded her head.

“She’s getting some extra oxygen through an oxyhood. Dr. Pender says she’s four weeks early and all she needs is time to grow and to become stronger.”

He watched the concern on her face. “Do you agree with that diagnosis?”

“I’m not sure. It makes sense, but I’ll feel better when we have the results of the tests.” She placed her hand on the glass, her eyes on Zoë. “Isn’t she adorable? And she has big blue eyes.”

Beau knew that tone. He’d heard it a million times as she cooed over some dog or cat who was battered and bruised. She was that type of person, and she was already so in love with her niece that any words of caution would be pointless.

“She’s so tiny,” he remarked.

“She’s five pounds and two ounces. Delia doesn’t want to nurse her. I just fed her and she feels like nothing in my arms. So precious.”

At that moment, Zoë’s body jerked and became stiff. Macy immediately tensed. The nurse on duty was standing over her and put her hand through the hole on the side of the incubator to Zoë’s chest. She gave the thumbs-up sign to Macy, signaling everything was okay.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Babies sometimes do that in their sleep. She’s fine.” Macy didn’t seem worried so he wasn’t, either.

“When can Delia take her home?”

“The doctor hasn’t said and we have to wait for the test results. But Delia can go home in the morning.”

“Is she fine with leaving the baby?”

“Yes, but she’s nervous and anxious. I’m trying to get her back on her meds.”

“Good luck with that. It never worked before.”

“She’s twenty-four now and has a baby to raise. She might be more responsible.”

He watched the glow on her face. “You just never give up.”

“No, not with someone I love. And with Zoë here, it will give us time to buy a baby bed and things Zoë will need.”

“Macy…”

She raised a hand to stop him. “I’m helping my sister any way I can and, yes, my heart will be broken when she takes the baby and leaves. But my heart has been broken before and I’ll survive.”

He wondered if she was talking about her exhusband. How much had she loved him? And what had happened in that marriage? He’d probably never know.

“When are you going home?” He had to tell her about the job offer and he didn’t want to do it here.

She cocked her head to one side. “I was hoping a tall, dark and handsome neighbor would give me a ride.”

That teasing light in her eyes warmed his insides. He didn’t understand how two people who cared so much for each other could be miles apart in their desires. He wanted a life with her, but she just wanted him around—like his mother. Oh yeah, that was a dose of reality.

He bowed from the waist. “He has arrived, ma’am. Are you ready?”

She smiled broadly and linked her arm through his, so naturally, so right. Yet there was a tension building in him that wasn’t natural or right.

“The baby’s fine and Delia’s sleeping. That will give me time to make space for a baby bed in the upstairs bedroom and do some shopping. Zoë’s going to need a lot of things. Delia doesn’t have anything prepared.” She talked as they headed toward the elevator.

“Don’t you think you should rest first? You’ve been up all day and night.”

They stepped onto the elevator and she touched his cheek. He wished she wouldn’t do that. It made it that much harder for him to remain detached.

“Thanks for worrying, but you know how I am. I’m on an adrenaline rush and there’s a lot of things I want to get done before Delia comes home.”

Yes, he knew how she was—a bundle of energy. Sometimes she worked twelve hours, then came home, cleaned the house, shopped, took care of her animals, snatched a few hours sleep and went back to work. She was always going at a breakneck speed, as if she had to stay busy. Maybe to keep from thinking. And he wondered what she was trying to avoid.

“This will give Delia and me a chance for some time together. Maybe we can talk as sisters again,” Macy said as they walked from the hospital to the parking area. “Delia has this wall of anger and resentment that’s hard to break through. I’m hoping Zoë will change all that. I’m looking forward to having them with me for a while.”

They climbed into his Expedition. “For a while?”

“Yes. I know this is short-term so you can stop looking at me like that.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He smiled inwardly at how she was trying to look at the situation realistically. But they both knew she was a cream puff when it came to animals and babies.

“Maybe, just maybe, Zoë will change Delia.”

“Maybe,” he murmured, but he had his doubts.

She playfully hit his shoulder. “How’s my gang?”

“Fine. I let them out for a bit then they stayed at my place. Lucky and Lefty made my bed.”

“Aren’t they smart?” Her eyes glowed with love.

“Absolutely. But I’m sure I have teeth marks on my sheets and comforter.”

“They’re love marks.”

“Mmm.”

“You see, you need a pet. It would be so much company for you.”

“No, no, no. We’ve been through this a million times. I work all the time and sometimes late at night.”

“But…”

“No.”

“Pets are wonderful. They greet you at the door with affection and they don’t care if you’re late. They’re just glad to see you. They lick your hands, your face and steal your heart with their unconditional love.”

“No.” He remained strong.

“Beau, you love my pets and you’d be crazy about one of your own.”

Now was the time to tell her his plans. He was moving and wouldn’t have time for a pet. Driving into his driveway, he turned off the engine. “Could we talk for a minute?”

“No.” She opened the door and got out. “You’re not convincing me you don’t have time for a pet. It’s a waste of your breath and my time. Talk to you later.” Closing the door, she ran to her condo.

Damn! He hit the steering wheel with his hand. On a scale of one to ten, his day was hovering at a one. He’d try again tonight—that’s all he could do.

Later he saw her drive away. She hadn’t even rested. Her mind and energy was now on the baby and Delia. He wasn’t even on her radar screen of interests.

BEAU ANSWERED his messages then thought of calling Tuck to see if he wanted to go out for a beer tonight. Tuck lived outside of Austin and they usually met halfway, but he had to talk to Macy. He couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

He grabbed a can of beer out of the refrigerator and found a bag of peanuts in the cabinet. As he opened the can, he saw the box of bacon-flavored dog biscuits. He kept treats for Macy’s animals. Their lives were as entwined as married people, except they weren’t together. And he couldn’t keep going on as if they were.

Clicking on the TV, he found a basketball game, sat down to enjoy his beer, and forced himself not to think about Macy. He was so engrossed in the game that the sound of the doorbell startled him. Hitting the mute button, he went to answer it.

Macy stood there with her arms full of shopping bags. She charged in and deposited her load onto the sofa, her animals following her. “I had to show you what I found,” she said, her cheeks flushed with excitement. “Once I started shopping, I couldn’t stop. And Delia’s going to need all of this.” She pulled a tiny pink outfit out of a bag. “I bought this to take Zoë home in. Look, it has lacy ruffles on the back. Isn’t that cute?” She didn’t give him time to answer. “It has booties, a cap and a blanket to match. I got sleepers, bibs, bottles, a diaper bag and several cases of diapers, just about everything a baby will need.” She kept pulling items out of the bags.

Bored, Lucky and Lefty trotted into the kitchen and reared up on the cabinet, whining. Beau gave them a treat.

“I bought a bassinet, but I have to put it together. I was hoping you’d help.”

He walked back into the living room. He had to do it now. “Sure, but I’d like to talk to you first.”

“I know I’m getting too involved, but I can’t help it.” She folded the pink outfit very carefully and he wondered if she ever thought of having children of her own. He was getting sidetracked.

“This isn’t about Delia and the baby.”

“It isn’t?” She folded a sleeper.

“No.” He took a moment. “I wanted to tell you before you found out from anyone else. My Dallas trip was about a job offer—a very good offer. I’m thinking of taking it.”

Her head jerked up. “What?”

“It’s a senior partnership, a salary to match and a corner office with a view of the city. The perks are unbelievable.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You’re moving to Dallas?”

“I have to let them know by the end of the week.”

“But your life and your family are here.”

“It’s not an easy decision to make.”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and he noticed her hand shook slightly—the only sign that his leaving bothered her. His pulse skipped a beat.

She stuffed the clothes back into the bags, the neatly folded ones jumbled together. “You’re my best friend. I depend on you for so many things. I whine on your shoulder and tell you my secrets.”

This was it. He had to say out loud what he’d been avoiding for years. She had to know how he felt. He swallowed, never realizing how hard this would be. “Have you ever thought that we could be more than friends?” He waited, and his breath lodged in his throat like sawdust.

Macy didn’t answer. She just kept stuffing the baby items into the bags. That made him angry. He deserved an answer.

“Macy, did you hear me?”

“Beau, please, I…ah…” She didn’t look at him and that fueled his anger and his frustration.

“I don’t want to be just your friend. I want more. I want to have a life with you in every way that counts—a home and a family.”

She picked up the bags and her blue eyes met his. “I realize you’ve worked hard for this advancement.”

He frowned. “Is that all you can say? I just told you that…”

“I’ll miss you,” she muttered.

It took a few seconds for him to catch his breath. “I’ll miss you, too.” He sighed, waiting for a miracle he knew wasn’t going to happen. This was it. The final goodbye.

“I better get this stuff to my place and find room for it.” She moved toward the door and glanced back.

They stared at each other. Beau wanted to say so much but for a man who was used to talking, words suddenly seemed useless.

“Will you be leaving soon?” she asked.

“I have to let them know by the end of the week, but it will probably be a month before I leave Waco.”

“You’ll let me know.”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t feel he needed to.

They kept staring at each other. Years of friendship hung in the balance. Those years melted away into a moment of intense pain. Without another word, she turned and headed to her condo.

Beau flopped onto the sofa and buried his face in his hands. His leaving was about Macy, just like his mother had said. But he already knew that. He’d tried to take their friendship to another level, but she made it abundantly clear that wasn’t happening. He was never going to have a life with her, share her bed, her hopes, her dreams and her future.

It was over.

And the truth of that hurt more than he ever thought possible.

MACY PACED in her living room, Lucky and Lefty matching every step. Beau was leaving. That was all she could think. She never saw it coming and she should have. She should have known she couldn’t have Beau forever. Not this way. He needed more and so did she.

I want to have a life with you in every way that counts—a home and a family.

When he’d said those words, she’d wanted to accept everything he was offering. But she couldn’t. Why not?

The monster under the bed reared its ugly head and fear gripped her, held her a prisoner of her own emotions. Tell him about your marriage. Tell him the truth. The thoughts tantalized and teased, but the monster still held her captive. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t handle another rejection. It was time to let Beau go so he could find a woman who could give him everything he deserved—like the family he wanted.

To keep from torturing herself, she opened the box with the bassinet and realized her hands were shaking. Sucking in a calming breath, she decided to put it together herself. She could do it. She didn’t need Beau. After reading the instructions, she grabbed her tool-box—something Beau had insisted she have for when he fixed things at her place.

A sob escaped and she fought tears. No. She wouldn’t cry.

She forced herself to study the instructions. All she had to do was connect the stand to the body of the bassinet. Simple. A Phillips screwdriver was required. She stared at the set of screwdrivers. Which one?

“Mmm.” She glanced at Lucky. “Which is the Phillips screwdriver?”

Lucky barked and sniffed the tools. “Don’t know either, do you?”

Lucky barked louder and Lefty got in on the act.

“Quiet,” she ordered. “I have to think.”

It couldn’t be all that hard. Studying the screws, she picked a screwdriver to match the grooves. She shouted for joy and the dogs barked again.

“Shh.” It took a lot of strength and patience, but she worked on until she had the bassinet attached to the base.

Sinking back on her heels, she looked at her handiwork. It was beautiful—all white and delicate. Through her defenses slipped another memory of a precious bassinet trimmed with satin and lace.

No. No. No.

She leaped to her feet, shoved the memory away and collapsed onto the sofa. Gathering her dogs into her arms, she felt as if her world had just collapsed. The monster under the bed now controlled her and she was the only one who could turn on the light and reveal the secret she’d kept hidden in her heart.

Beau wanted her to ask him to stay. She saw it in his eyes—that’s how well she knew him, and she’d wanted to. But she didn’t have anything to offer him, except friendship.

Sometimes late at night when she wished his arms were around her, she’d wondered how long she’d have him. How long would they be friends before he’d want more? He was a man, after all. She’d seen him go out on dates and though it broke her heart she never did anything to stop it. Just like she’d do nothing to stop him leaving.

A tear trickled out of the corner of her eye, then another followed. She tasted the saltiness on her lips and the dogs whined at her distress. Freckles slinked along the back of the sofa and rested on her shoulder. She stroked them so they’d know she was okay.

But she wasn’t.

Beau had said that she had more energy than anyone he knew. She had to keep going, doing until she exhausted herself. That way her mind was too tired to dream dreams she shouldn’t—like having a husband and a family. She’d had the fairy tale. Now she lived with the nightmare.

She would never marry again, but she would always love Beau. How she wished she could tell him that and share her secret. Allen was the only one who knew. Not even her parents had known what had happened in her marriage. It was her own personal pain.

Beau was leaving.

More tears followed and she didn’t bother to brush them away. She needed to cry, to cleanse away the heartache and to find the strength to say goodbye to Beau.

That night as she lay in bed her arms ached to hold him, to see the warmth in his eyes, feel his body against hers and to fulfill a need in her that she’d been denying for a long time. She wanted Beau in all the ways a woman wanted a man she loved.

Tell him.

The silence mingled with the darkness and the fear in her was very real, holding her back. Turning the light on wouldn’t help. She’d still be the same person, a person no one could love.

Living without Beau was better than living with his rejection, which inevitably would come. Tomorrow she’d be better. Tomorrow she’d be busy with Delia and the baby. Tomorrow she would find the strength to face a future without Beau.

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