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About the Author

CHRISTYNE BUTLER fell in love with romance novels while serving in the United States Navy and started writing her own stories six years ago. She considers selling to Mills & Boon® Cherish™ a dream come true and enjoys writing contemporary romances full of life, love, a hint of laughter and perhaps a dash of danger, too. And there has to be a happily-ever-after or she’s just not satisfied.

She lives with her family in central Massachusetts and loves to hear from her readers at chris@christynebutler.com. Or visit her website at www.christynebutler.com.

Having Adam’s Baby

Christyne Butler

www.millsandboon.co.uk

MILLS & BOON

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“How could I not love a series devoted to my favorite

things—complex families and deep friendships? I’m

so proud to have been a part of this wonderful

tradition at Mills & Boon.”

—Sherryl Woods

Chapter One

Fay Coggen was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Eating healthier would help. More tofu-laced salads, less Chinese takeout. Her thirty-five-year-old body would thank her later. The heavy lifting required at her florist shop toned her arms and shoulders, but her backside would be better served if she did more at night than read or work on crossword puzzles, two favorite pastimes that kept her butt planted firmly on the couch.

Getting a decent night’s sleep would probably work wonders, too. After eighteen months, she still wasn’t used to sleeping alone. Even though she’d been on her own for longer than that, in more ways than she could count.

Still, more rest would help her kick this nagging cold she’d had for the last two months. With the busy Fourth of July holiday and the one-year anniversary of Scott’s death just a few weeks away, she needed all the energy she could get.

All reasons why she was sitting in her doctor’s office on this sunny June afternoon.

As far as medical facilities went, this one was pretty nice. Pale-yellow-and-white gingham wallpaper covered three walls. The fourth boasted a large bay window that looked out onto a lush lawn, stately rows of green hedges and a wooden bench surrounded by a carpet of red and purple impatiens beneath a shady tree.

And despite the fact she and Liz were friends, Fay could honestly say she’d hated every moment she’d spent here.

“So sorry to have kept you waiting.” Liz’s lilting voice filled the air as she hustled into the room and closed the door behind her. “I wanted to double-check the test results myself.”

Her friend sat in the matching chair across from Fay, instead of taking her seat behind her desk. Fay smiled. “Over a simple case of the flu? Things must be pretty slow around here. So what are the doctor’s orders? Lots of rest and orange juice?”

Liz crossed one ankle over the other with a natural grace. “We haven’t had a chance to visit in a while. How are you feeling, Fay?”

“Other than wishing for a week where I could do nothing but sleep, I’m fine. Like I told your nurse, the dizziness comes and goes, and it’d be nice to eat something more substantial than soup and crackers. The news predicted a terrible flu season that would carry on into spring. They weren’t kidding.”

“I’m talking about how you’re doing emotionally.” The older woman glanced pointedly at Fay’s lap. “I notice you haven’t gone back to wearing your wedding rings.”

Fay clenched her battle-scarred florist hands, her thumb and forefinger automatically rubbing at the indentation on her left hand that was almost gone. “I told you that I decided to take them off back around Christmas.”

“Understandable. Scott had been gone for six months by then.”

Understandable after she’d discovered the lies and secrets her late husband had left in the wake of his death last summer. After fifteen years of marriage, she’d thought neither of them had the ability to surprise each other anymore.

She’d been wrong and trying to recover ever since.

“You said you were wearing them on a chain around your neck instead.” Liz’s gaze moved over the open collar of Fay’s blouse. “I see that’s gone now, too.”

Yes, the chain and her rings were buried in the bottom of her jewelry box, along with her husband’s dog tags.

Ever since that night two months ago.

Ever since Adam Murphy.

“Are you involved with anyone?” Liz asked.

“What?” Her friend’s question jolted Fay from her thoughts. “No, of course not. Just because I decided—That doesn’t mean I’m—” Fay realized she was babbling and paused, fought for a controlled breath and then continued. “Dating isn’t something I’m even thinking about.”

“I know things have been difficult, but it’s okay to move on. Next month will make it a year since Scott died. Finding someone new to spend time with, maybe even thinking about falling—”

“Liz, between trying to hold on to my business and sorting out the colossal mess Scott’s creative financing left me, my life’s been nothing but chaos for the last year. Believe me, I’m working hard at moving on.”

“I meant with a man.”

Fay let loose a bark of laughter that wasn’t close to being humorous. “I know what you meant, but no.”

“Sweetie, then this is going to be a shock.” Liz placed the folder she was holding in her lap and reached out, laying a comforting hand on her arm. “You don’t have the flu. You’re pregnant.”

Her friend’s words echoed in Fay’s ears, each time becoming more muted and garbled.

She hadn’t heard her friend correctly.

There was no way she’d heard correctly.

“You must be wrong.” Fay shook her head. “I only have one working ovary, remember? An ovary that works at a reduced capacity making it impossible for me to get preg—” She bit off the word, unable to say it aloud. “You said so yourself.”

“I told you years ago that pregnancy was improbable, especially when Scott refused to have any testing done. As you know, your inability to conceive for all those years could have been just as much him.” Liz tightened her fingers in a gentle squeeze. “The test results are positive. You are pregnant.”

A baby. After years of wanting, desperately wanting a child and now …

“We can discuss your options. Out of the office if that would be better.”

Fay’s hands automatically flattened low over her belly. “Options?”

“You just said you aren’t involved with anyone. Did something … happen?”

“Something?”

Liz’s gaze filled with concern. “Honey, were you hurt or forced—”

“No, no, of course not.” Fay’s protest came swiftly, just like the eight-week-old memories from those passion-filled, guilt-ridden hours spent in Adam’s arms. “I was—I mean, it was unplanned and impulsive, but I knew what I was doing.”

Yes, she certainly had.

Sleeping with her dead husband’s best friend, someone who was once her good friend as well, was the real reason Fay no longer wore her rings.

Not after the way she’d straddled Adam’s lap and helped him yank her sweater over her head. Eagerness had her bracing her hands on his wide shoulders, leaning forward to take his mouth again only to have the twin gold bands, one with a marquise-shaped diamond, dangle between them.

They’d brushed against Adam’s jaw and he’d fisted them, asking in that deep, guttural tone of his if she was sure about what they were doing.

If she knew who she was with.

You, Adam. I want you.

A heated blush raced up Fay’s neck until it reached her cheeks. The memory of that night, and the way she’d run out on him the next morning after learning Adam was heading back overseas, back to his Air Force reserve unit, the same unit her husband had served with until his death, was as fresh and real as if it had happened only last night.

Of course, in her dreams it had.

“This is a shock, I realize that.” Liz offered a warm smile, her words forcing Fay to push away the memories. “Take your time to think about your next step.”

“I’m having this baby.”

The words were soft, but spoken with a sense of purpose Fay hadn’t felt in a long time. No hesitation, no question about right or wrong, no reason for her to think about this at all.

She squared her shoulders and righted her posture. “I want this—my baby. I’m keeping my baby.”

“And the father?”

A wave of dizziness washed over her. Fay swallowed hard to maintain her equilibrium as her heart pounded in her chest and a rush of heat again stole over her body.

Adam Murphy was due to return to Destiny from his last tour in Afghanistan in a couple of weeks. How was she going to tell the man she blamed for her husband’s death he was going to be the father of her child?

“Hey, soldier, don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Master Sergeant Adam Murphy squared his shoulders and stood a bit taller, but he didn’t turn around.

He knew that voice.

There were only six possible people it could belong to. People who, according to his mother, all shared the same low masculine growl that could soothe a skittish horse or sweet-talk a girl out of her better judgment.

It had to be one of his five younger brothers or their dad.

Which one had spotted him standing here, in front of the beer cooler at a convenience mart on the outskirts of Cheyenne of all places, he didn’t know. He hoped it was Devlin, the brother he was closest to despite there being one other between them in ages. Or maybe it was Ric, the youngest, whom Adam had bossed around like a second father. He’d been fourteen when the kid was born.

Geez, he felt old.

He turned, bracing himself, and found Dev grinning at him.

“Hey, bro.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Adam asked.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

Dev lunged, pulling him into a bear hug that Adam returned with ease. He blinked hard against the sudden sting in his eyes, giving his brother a few extra hardy thumps to the back before they broke apart.

“Damn, it’s good to see you,” Dev said. “What are you doing in Cheyenne? You weren’t due back from Afghanistan for another ten days or so.”

“The entire unit is coming back sooner than scheduled, in less than a week, but I was able to catch an earlier ride home.”

Dev arched one eyebrow. “And you didn’t bother to let anyone in the family know?”

“It was last-minute, and I could’ve gotten bumped off the flight anywhere along the way.” Adam had hoped to slip back into town without anyone finding out. He didn’t want to explain how he’d finagled avoiding the pageantry of his unit’s arrival at the air base after being overseas for the past year and a half. “The plane finally landed at Camp Guernsey a few hours ago. I caught a ride with a retired vet who was heading toward Destiny.”

His brother peered around Adam’s shoulder at the rows of ice-cold beers in the refrigerated unit behind him. “And the two of you decided to stop and pick up a few brews?”

“He decided,” Adam said. “I was just admiring the view.”

Dev smiled and seconds later had a twelve-pack tucked under his arm. “Come on, I think you’ve earned this.”

“You sure?” Dev had walked away from booze years ago after finally admitting his nightly partying led to nothing but sleepovers at the local jail and finally AA meetings. Adam didn’t want to tempt him.

“Hey, this is all for you, bro.” Dev offered an easy smile. “Come on, let’s find your Good Samaritan and let him know you’ve got a new taxi service.”

Knowing it was useless to argue with a Murphy, Adam only nodded. He thanked the old man as he pulled his duffel from the back of his pickup and tossed it into his brother’s Jeep.

The ride home took almost an hour and Adam was grateful when Dev used that time to do what he did best. Talk. He jumped from subject to subject, mostly getting Adam caught up on all he’d missed while serving his last tour.

Yes, he’d been home two months ago, once again as an escort bringing home a deceased member of his command at the request of a grieving family in Cheyenne. He’d managed to add two days in Destiny, long enough to share a couple of meals with the family.

And an amazing night with the one woman he’d always wanted.

And could never have.

But he did have her. And she’d had him. For a few incredible hours on a makeshift bed in his living room in front of a blazing fire. They’d had each other.

Adam turned to the window, closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, certain he could still smell the clean, flowery scent that always surrounded Fay.

He’d answered the pounding on his front door that rainy night, wearing nothing but hastily buttoned jeans and a bemused expression.

Fay had stormed into his living room, hair and clothes damp. Shocked that she’d known he was in town, he’d only stood there and listened as she ranted and raved, releasing all her anger and grief as she blamed him for her husband’s death the previous summer.

He’d escorted Scott’s body home and stayed for the services, but he and Fay had hardly spoken to each other that hot July day. She’d certainly made up for the lapse that night, but hell, she didn’t say anything to him that he hadn’t been telling himself.

So he let her talk. But Fay had worked herself into a frenzy while she paced, not paying attention to what she was doing or where she was walking. When she tripped over his duffel bag, he’d reached out and caught her, pulling her hard to his chest. Off balance, they fell together onto the couch.

Her words disappeared, leaving only choppy breaths that had torched his bare skin like fire. Her fingertips pressed against his chest and not kissing her had been damn near impossible—

“Hey, bro. You okay?”

Adam jerked his head around.

Blinking away the memories, he forced words past the hard lump in his throat. “What? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re looking a bit pasty.” Dev turned his attention from the road to look at him. “What are you thinking about?”

Shaking his head, Adam noticed they’d already driven through the center of Destiny, right past Fay’s shop, and he hadn’t even noticed.

He yanked his BDU—Battle Dress Uniform—cap farther down over his forehead. “Nothing. Go on, keep talking.”

Dev rattled on about the family business, Murphy Mountain Log Homes, and how well things were going even in the current uncertain economic times.

Designing and building a log mansion for local racing champion Bobby Winslow last year had brought in a slew of new customers from all over the country, each with money to spend on their dream home.

Like his parents and five brothers, Adam was a part owner, but much to his father’s dismay he’d walked away from any involvement in the day-to-day running of the business years ago, leaving his younger brothers to fill key management roles.

“Is it too soon to bug you about your plans?” Devlin asked.

“Sleep.”

“I mean now that you’re home. For good. You’re still set to retire, right?”

Adam nodded. He’d recently completed twenty years in the Air Force reserves, most of the last four years spent more soldier than civilian. Thanks to the unused leave time he’d accumulated he was essentially out of the military with his official retirement set to take place in a few months.

He was ready to return to his first love, ranching.

Right after college he’d purchased a share of the family’s holdings from his father with the dream of raising horses and cattle. But other than building his log home, life had gotten in the way of his plans. Now, it was time to make that dream a reality by putting the pastures and the section of the Blue Creek River that cut through his land to good use.

Devlin slowed at a crossroads. A right turn would lead them to the family compound and company headquarters. He looked at Adam and offered an arched brow as if he already knew what the answer would be.

Adam pointed left. “I’ve been up almost twenty-four hours straight. I need sack time more than anything else right now.”

His brother steered them down the road to Adam’s place. The closer they got, the more restless he grew to see his home again. He rolled down the window, letting a cool summer breeze wash over him. It’d been blisteringly hot in Afghanistan when he’d boarded the military transport, but here in Destiny, tucked up against the foothills of the Laramie Mountains, it was a perfect day with lots of sunshine, green trees and the fresh, earthy scent of the great outdoors.

This return was different.

This time he was home for good.

All he wanted was the chance to start his life over again. Alone. Nothing to concentrate on but his land. He was sure his father would try to get him involved in the family business again and his mother would drop hints about wanting her eldest settled with a nice girl.

Been there, done that, and Adam still had the battle scars to prove marriage, kids and a nine-to-five job weren’t for him. Spending as much time alone working on his ranch was the perfect plan.

At some point, he’d have to find a way to make things right with Fay, but there wasn’t any rush. Destiny wasn’t a big town, but he could keep out of her way, positive she wasn’t in any hurry to spend time with him.

Not after the way she’d torn out of his place when she’d awakened to find him dressed in his uniform ready to head back overseas.

No, Fay Coggen had made it perfectly clear two months ago she wanted nothing more to do with him.

He may not like it, but he’d learn to live with it.

Devlin pulled into the driveway and cut the engine.

Realizing his brother planned to come inside, Adam sighed and punched in the code on his cell phone to deactivate his home’s security system. “I should warn you, the place is probably a mess.”

He couldn’t remember if he’d washed up the dirty dishes from his visit or even taken out the trash, but for certain the nest of blankets and pillows he and Fay had made love on were still strewn across his living room floor.

Dev joined him on the covered porch that ran the entire circumference of his log home, the twelve-pack of Guinness balanced in the crook of his arm, and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’d forgotten how much of a dump the old homestead is.”

Retrieving a spare key from behind a bench, Adam paused and looked out over his front yard. The large area thrived with clusters of cottonwoods, freshly mowed grass and trimmed bushes. A recently mulched area with brightly colored flowers was new.

He figured he had his family to thank for that and for the upkeep. A nearby barn and horse corral could use some work, and beyond that lay a hundred and eighty acres ready for hay meadows, horses and cattle-grazing.

“I’m talking about inside my place, moron.” Adam dropped his duffel to the floor. “It’s going to need airing out if nothing else. I left in a rush.”

Dev leaned over and grabbed the bag. “It’s a good thing the folks are still trolling around the Southwest in their RV. There’d be hell to pay if they knew you were home and hiding from everyone.”

“I need some downtime.” Adam opened the door and stepped inside. “A day or two by myself before … What the hell?”

Dev sidestepped behind him. “Whoa, don’t want to drop the cargo.”

Adam looked around.

Bright sunshine spilled through squeaky-clean windows, filling the large dining and living room with light. Tabletops gleamed and a lemony scent lingered in the air. The area in front of the fireplace held nothing but the Navajo-print rug and the oversize furniture that had been rearranged to allow better viewing of both the flat screen television and the fireplace.

No sign of his and Fay’s impromptu bed.

Adam walked in farther and a quick glance at his kitchen revealed that the appliances and countertops shined as if they’d never been used. The dining table, once covered with stacks of laundry, now held only a potted plant—one still alive, at that—and a neat pile of mail.

His place was spotless.

“Looks like your fairy godmother knew you were coming.” Dev walked into the kitchen and placed the beer in the refrigerator. “Geez, you’ve even got orange juice and tubs of butter in here.”

Adam shook his head. “Who could’ve done this?”

“Are you kidding?” Dev tossed a beer at him, then opened a bottled water for himself. “This has Mom written all over it.”

Adam easily caught the bottle one-handed, then set it on the table behind the couch. “I talked to Mom a few days ago. She never said anything. Do you think it could be one of the guys or Laurie?”

“Laurie’s been busy crunching the numbers for a hot new account.” Dev headed for the couch. “Mom did a good job making sure we boys all knew how to cook a hot dog and wash dishes, but clean like this? Forget it.”

Adam headed down the hall as his brother continued to ramble. He peeked into the two spare bedrooms, pausing for a long moment in the doorway of the smallest one, still empty except for the gleaming hardwood floor, before walking into his own room.

His king-size bed looked like something out of a hotel, the blankets neatly tucked and folded and his pillows propped against the hand-hewn timber headboard. A quick stop in the master bathroom showed him the same meticulous care had been taken in there as well.

Peeling off his cap and outer camouflage shirt, he tossed both onto a nearby chair. Hands braced on his hips, he pulled in a few deep breaths, enjoying the silence as finally being home sunk in.

Gone was the constant noise of construction vehicles, twelve-hour workdays and the dust that covered everything at Bagram Airfield.

It wasn’t even fifteen hundred—three o’clock in the civilian world—and Adam wanted nothing more than to darken the blinds and dive headfirst into bed. He turned instead and headed back to the main living area.

Grabbing the beer he’d left behind, he joined his brother on the couch.

“Boy, you suddenly look like you’ve been to hell and back,” Dev said. “Fitting, I guess.”

Adam sank into the cushions, leaned back and closed his eyes. “Yeah, I guess.”

He’d been certain memories of his time in the sandbox would be crowding his head even though he was finally stateside, much like he’d relived that night he’d spent with Fay over and over again while lying in his bunk in Afghanistan.

But they weren’t.

Despite his earlier resolve not to dwell on Fay, now that he was back in his own home, all he could think about was what had happened right here eight weeks ago.

Him and Fay. Together.

Finally.

He’d been head over heels for the tiny brunette with long curly hair the moment he’d literally run into her, years ago in the hallways of Destiny High School.

She’d laughed as he lay sprawled at her feet. Two years younger, Fay had been new in town. He’d given the pretty sophomore a quick tour of the building that ended at the school gym, where they’d run into Scott.

And just like that, Adam had faded into the background.

His best friend, and the star quarterback, Scott Coggen had latched his sights on Fay and the rest was history. By the time he and Scott were juniors at the University of Wyoming, Fay was sporting a diamond on her left hand.

Adam felt the beer being lifted from his fingers. He jerked upright, his hand tightening as his eyes flew open. “Hey!”

“Easy, bro.” Dev released the bottle and held up both hands in surrender. “Just trying to save a spill. I thought you’d fallen asleep on me.”

Had he? Adam honestly didn’t know. “Sorry. Maybe I did.”

“Look, I’m going to head out and let you get comatose for a while.” His brother backed up to the front door. “The folks are due back the day after tomorrow. You plan to be at the house to welcome them home?”

Adam nodded, pushing himself to his feet, his legs like dead weights. “Yeah, I’ll be there. And thanks for keeping my return to yourself for now. One Murphy brother is about all I can handle at the moment.”

“Considering I’m your favorite, I’ll keep your secret.” Dev grinned. “Give me a call if you need anything.”

A smile creased Adam’s face. “Thanks, I will.”

After Dev left, Adam poured out his untouched beer, grabbed a water bottle instead and punched in the code on his security system. Minutes later, he stripped down and crawled between the crisp, cool sheets and buried his face in a pillow that smelled like sweet lavender.

Smelled like Fay.

It was his last conscious thought before he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. He woke up once, the room dark and the clock on his nightstand flashing 2:49 a.m. The next time he cracked an eyelid, the sun was inching around the edges of the window blinds.

Wow, almost ten in the morning. He’d slept over eighteen hours.

Sitting up, he stretched his neck and back while listening to his thirty-eight-year-old body creak and moan as he slowly came to life.

A shower. Lingering beneath the hot spray of his own shower sounded like a slice of heaven. Adam reached into the closest dresser drawer and pulled out a clean T-shirt, jeans and briefs.

Entering the bathroom, he eyed the large whirlpool tub, realizing for the first time he’d never used it in all the years he’d lived here. Tempting, but chances were he’d fall back asleep and probably drown in the process.

Minutes later he stood, hands braced against the tile wall as hot water pounded his neck and shoulders, washing away the soapy residue. Steam filled the glass enclosure and he breathed deeply, pulling the moist air into his lungs and letting it seep into every pore.

When the water cooled, he turned it off and stepped out. Grabbing a nearby towel, he quickly dried, pausing when he heard a low-pitched creaking. He listened intently, but only silence filled the house. After walking naked back into his bedroom, he pulled on his briefs and heard the creak again.

No, that was footsteps.

It had to be Devlin. He was the only one who could override the security system. Exasperation surged inside him. Hadn’t he made it clear he wanted to be left alone?

“Oh, shoot! Come on, please cooperate.”

The words carried down the hall from the main room. Someone was in his house. A female someone.

The sound of an object shattering and a high-pitched cry had Adam racing down the hall. He entered the living room and found a woman, bent at the waist and clutching one of the stools at the kitchen counter. By her feet lay the remains of a large plant, its bright green leaves and pieces of the broken ceramic pot scattered across the floor.

His anger disappeared and concern took its place. “Hey, are you okay?”

The woman jerked upright and spun around.

Adam stared, the blow to the gut more powerful than any physical contact. Was she a figment of his imagination?

He blinked hard to erase her image. Nope, she still stood less than three feet away from him.

Golden brown curls, pulled back in a messy ponytail, whipped against one cheek. Dark smudges beneath her wide hazel eyes spoke of sleepless nights. She wore a pale green T-shirt with Fay’s Flowers printed across her curves and jean shorts that showed off miles of leg.

One hand pressed against her stomach and as her eyes widened at the sight of him, her other hand quickly covered the first.

Just as beautiful as he remembered.

“Fay.”

Her skin paled even more the moment he spoke her name.

“What—” Adam voice caught and damn if he didn’t have to start again. “What are you doing here?”

Chapter Two

Fay’s lips parted and the breath fled from her lungs. Shock battered her insides like stinging pin pricks at the sight before her.

Adam.

He stood spotlighted in a beam of bright sun, all toned muscles and tanned skin, except for the dark blue boxer briefs that hugged him in all the best huggable places.

The man was nearly naked.

What had he asked her? It had been a simple question, one she should be able to answer, but a now familiar rippling of her stomach had her slapping one hand over her mouth. She bolted past him and disappeared into the hall bathroom.

Keeping her eyes screwed tightly shut, her body retaliated, as it had for the last few mornings since her visit to Liz’s office, and emptied itself of her breakfast.

The one meal of the day that had always been her favorite.

Not anymore. No matter what she ate, from fruit to cereal to eggs, nothing had staying power. She’d hoped the fresh watermelon she’d eaten an hour ago would be the answer.

She’d been wrong.

“Are you okay?”

Adam’s voice, soft but clear, made her jump. He’d followed her and stood close. Very close. Her fingers tightened where she gripped the toilet seat. Of all the humiliating moments in a woman’s life, this had to be the worst.

“No.” She cringed at the hoarseness of her voice.

“Can I get you anything?”

Fay opened her eyes, averting her gaze to the white floor tiles and found one masculine leg in her line of sight. All she could see was from his knee down, but the naturally tanned skin covered with fine hair instantly brought back the full-body image from moments ago when he’d suddenly appeared in his living room.

How was it her body could go from sickness to hunger within the span of a few seconds?

Hormones, hormones, hormones.

Thanks to the “what to expect” book Fay had bought recently, she’d latched on to the most popular reason for all the craziness her body was going through. Blamed for everything from morning sickness to her breasts suddenly being a tad too big for her bras, hormones had to be the reason her first thought at the sight of Adam had been—

“Fay?”

His voice had her stomach flipping over again. “Privacy. I need privacy.”

He stepped back into the hall and she stretched out one leg and kicked the door closed. Curling her feet back beneath her backside and still too weak to move—and not completely sure yet if she should—Fay grabbed a nearby hand towel and wiped at her mouth.

She settled for leaning against the cool porcelain of the bathtub, one hand pressed gently to her stomach.

Adam was home.

So much for one more week to finish the work on his home and to find a way to tell him he was going to be a father.

How could she tell him about the baby?

Soon the changes in her body would be visible—to him, to everyone—and it wouldn’t take Adam long to figure out when she’d gotten pregnant. Not that she’d even think of passing this child off as anyone else’s.

No, this baby was his, and despite all the lunacy her body was going through, she was already so in love with their child. After giving up any hope of experiencing this kind of miracle herself, she planned to enjoy every minute.

Even the not-so-pleasant ones like this.

A quick knock on the door sent Fay’s heart racing. She wasn’t ready yet. Adam had returned earlier than scheduled and she needed more time. Time to think, to plan, to figure what she was going to do about her business, the apartment, her in-laws, her parents …

About him.

The door opened, but only Adam’s hand appeared, a large glass of ice water in his grasp. He set it down on the sink and retreated, but then a sealed toothbrush and small tube of toothpaste joined the glass.

The door closed again with a quiet click and Fay released the breath she wasn’t even aware she’d been holding.

The nausea mostly gone, she rose and quickly rinsed out her mouth, brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face. Her reflection in the mirror had her yanking out her ponytail and redoing it, trying to tame her curls in a messy knot on top of her head.

She drank the ice water, its coolness bathing her throat as she strained to hear anything on the other side of the door.

Was he still there?

Of course he was still here. He lived here. And he had every right to know why she was in his home, breaking dishes and tossing her cookies in his bathroom.

She took a deep breath and threw back her shoulders to fake confidence she wished she felt. If only she knew what to say when she walked back into the living room.

She opened the door and froze.

Adam leaned casually against the far wall, all six feet plus of him, arms crossed over his naked chest, bare feet crossed at his ankles. At least he’d pulled on a pair of jeans, even if they did ride low enough on his hips for those dark briefs to peek out over the waistband.

Her stomach clenched again. Tingling sensations danced over her skin from head to toe, and her throat went dry.

This she couldn’t blame on the pregnancy.

No, the blame was squarely on him. The reaction echoed those uncontrollable feelings the night she’d landed in his arms. Instead of continuing to rant against what his advice to his best friend had cost her, she had given in as he’d lowered his mouth and gently brushed his lips over hers.

Then she’d kissed him back.

“You feeling better?”

Fay’s gaze jerked to his face, and she realized he’d been watching her gawk. She swallowed hard and forced herself to move past him as she replied, “Yes, thank you.”

“Was it something you ate?”

“No.”

“Was it the sight of me?”

Her footsteps faltered at his question. “N-no, of course not.”

“So what?” Adam pushed, following her. “Some sort of bug or the flu?”

Yes, the nine-month flu, only she prayed the books were right and this awful morning sickness would ease after the first trimester.

“I’m just…not feeling well.” Back in the dining area, Fay saw he hadn’t cleaned up her mess. Thankful for the excuse, she knelt down and started gathering the broken fronds of the potted fern. “Sorry about this. I’ll get this picked up—”

“Fay, what’s going on?” Adam moved to stand directly in front of her. “What are you doing here?”

“Get back, there are sharp pieces here and you’re barefoot.” She brushed at his jean-clad leg before reaching for the plant itself.

Rising, she scooted around him into the kitchen and placed it back inside the empty cardboard box on the counter. Hopefully she could save the pretty asparagus fern. “What are you doing here? I mean, this is your house, but your unit isn’t scheduled to return until June—ohmigod.”

Suddenly the dizziness returned. The only possible reason for Adam being here … The same reason he’d come back to Destiny a year ago.

Two months ago.

She spun around and grabbed for the granite countertop to keep upright. “Are you here as an official escort again? Please tell me you aren’t responsible for another—”

Fay cut off her outburst, capturing her bottom lip with her teeth, but it was too late. As soon as the unfinished sentence left her mouth, she wished she could take it back.

She’d hurled a similar awful accusation at him eight weeks ago. To go there again, to make them both relive her resentment and hurt, would be of no use to anyone.

Besides, she couldn’t say for certain whom she was mad at anymore. Whom she blamed.

Adam’s eyes widened in surprise, before a flicker of hurt passed over them. Then with a blink, the emotions vanished.

“Responsible for what, Fay?” His features hardened as he slowly walked toward her. “For another member of my unit getting killed?”

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Fay forced herself to look him in the eye. “That was wrong. I shouldn’t have said that.”

The stiffness in Adam’s posture eased. “You showed up two months ago determined to say what was on your mind. I listened, but that doesn’t mean I agreed with you. Your words were coming from a place of anger and grief. I understood that.”

“I wasn’t looking for your understanding.” The pain flared to life again inside her. “I was looking for—”

“Someone to blame. Yeah, I figured that out…afterward.”

After they’d made love.

He didn’t say the words aloud, but Fay knew exactly what he meant.

“It’s been a rough year,” he continued, his voice softer, “for you and the Coggens. You lost your husband, they lost their only son. And I lost my best friend.”

Fay thought back to the first couple of weeks after Scott’s funeral. She’d just begun to crawl out of her haze. She had to. Bills had to be paid, her business required her attention and Scott’s parents, devastated at the loss of their only child, needed care. Finally needed her.

Then the house of cards Scott had so carefully constructed over the years to hide his misuse of their personal finances started to collapse. The second mortgages on their house, credit cards she never knew he had.

Not to mention what he’d done to his family’s business.

A wave of exhaustion washed over Fay. A sudden desire to lean against Adam’s chest, to feel the strength of his arms, filled her. To have someone take care of her for once.

Instead, she moved past him and sank into a chair at the dining room table. “You have no idea what we—What I’ve been through.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” He turned and faced her. “But somewhere between blame and the next morning, we found—Dammit, I don’t know what we found.”

She could feel him staring at her. Don’t ask me, please, don’t ask.

“Do you?”

She closed her eyes, and despite the silence, knew he’d walked to the table as a crisp clean scent that clung to his skin teased her nose. “Do I what?”

“Do you know what happened between us?”

Fay didn’t have any idea how she was supposed to view those wonderful hours she’s spent in Adam’s arms. Guilt swamped her, and she swayed between remorse and pleasure remembering what they shared that night.

What they created that night.

How often she’d dreamed of that night happening again.

“It was an escape.” Again, the words rushed past her lips before she could stop them. “A break from the real world, a moment we took … to block out our grief.”

Stillness filled the air. She opened her eyes and found Adam’s hands curled tight around the back of the chair he stood behind.

“Do you still blame me?” he asked.

Fay opened her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. Even now, she struggled to comprehend what Scott had done. Laying blame on her husband didn’t do any good. The rationale she’d held on to for months was if Scott had never joined the service, he never would’ve been in Afghanistan, he wouldn’t have died and …

And what?

Her life would’ve gone on as before? Is that what she really wanted?

Fay didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. Being this close to Adam was so confusing. Blaming him had been the constant she’d clung to as her world fell apart. Confronting him had seemed right. But since then, even before she found out she was carrying his child, the lines between right and wrong, blame and acceptance, had blurred.

She needed to get out of here.

“Fine, whatever. I guess we both should move forward.” He released the chair and stepped away. “So, to totally switch gears, you never did tell me what you’re doing in my house and how you got my security code.”

“I’m here to clean.”

His eyes widened. He was surprised. As surprised as she’d been when she’d answered the phone that morning at her shop to find out why Elise Murphy had called. “Your mother hired me to spruce up your place, from the cobwebs in the rafters downward, before your homecoming. Next week.”

“My mother’s been dragging my dad on a tour of the western half of the U.S. for the past two months.”

“Yes, and because she wasn’t here to do it herself, she asked me.” Fay stood, dug the set of keys from her pocket and laid them on the table. “She gave me the code and told me to get the keys from Laurie, which I did. Good thing for you I’m just about done, except for that mess.”

He reached for her when she started to turn, taking her arm. His hand, big and strong, yet gentle in its hold, slowly slid downward.

It was the first time he’d touched her since …

His thumb swept across the inside of her wrist, and she wondered if he could feel the pounding in her pulse. She raised her gaze to his.

His eyes darkened. “You’ve really been coming here and cleaning?”

“Considering the condition you left this place in, it was needed.” She pulled from his grasp. “You’re lucky you have such great parents.”

“I didn’t have time to clean up before I left. Remember?”

Oh, she remembered.

Walking in that first day had taken her breath away. Seeing the blankets still on the floor caused the memories of their lovemaking to rush back to her.

Waking in his arms, the emotional onslaught of shame over what they’d done and the unrelenting truth of how much she wanted him again. Grabbing her clothes. Racing to the bathroom to get dressed. Adam stepping out of his bedroom in his camouflage battle dress uniform.

The regret she could read on his face.

She’d tried to put the memories out of her mind as she worked, reminding herself she was getting paid for this job. More than that, she was doing a favor for Alastair and Elise Murphy. Adam’s parents had been so nice to her over the last six months. There’d been no way she could’ve said no.

“Well, I guess your mom’s idea worked for both of us.” Fay crossed the kitchen and pulled out a broom and dustpan from the pantry. “You’ve got a sparkling home, and I got some much-needed cash.”

“My mom is paying you?”

Fay didn’t look at him as she bent to sweep up the remains of the pot. “What’s wrong with that?”

“What about your shop? Are you still open for business?”

Six days a week. The pregnancy was making her more tired than she’d ever been in her life, but taking it easy wasn’t something she could afford at the moment. “My shop is just fine, but a little extra money never hurts.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you strapped for cash?”

“No.” Surprised at how easy the second lie she’d told today fell from her lips, she dumped the broken pieces into the trash. “This was just a side job, and now that you’re home, there’s no need for me to come back.”

“Fay—”

“I need to go.” Her control over her wayward emotions faded fast. She had to get out of here before she burst into tears. Or worse. Walking past him, she gave him a wide berth, pausing to grab her purse and keys from the table. “I have to get back to the shop.”

“No one knows I’m home yet.”

She paused, her hand on the handle, not turning around.

“I arrived yesterday, ahead of everyone else,” Adam continued, his voice carrying across the room, “but just so you know, the return date for the entire unit has been moved up. You should be getting notified.”

Tears burned at the back of her eyes. Why would she be called about the new date? It wasn’t like she had anyone coming home.

“I’m trying to lay low,” Adam went on, “get used to being home before I see … anyone.”

“Don’t worry.” A sob caused her breath to hitch as she yanked open the door. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Adam waited until late Saturday afternoon before heading to the Murphy family compound. There was no sign of his parents’ RV camper even though they’d emailed everyone this morning to say they’d be home by dinnertime.

He pulled his pickup truck into the parking area at the rear of the sprawling two-story log home that also served as the corporate office for Murphy Mountain Log Homes, and cut the engine.

He sat for a moment and took in the buildings and grounds. A feeling of peace filled him.

The first person he saw was his niece, Abby.

Nolan’s oldest child, she sat in the gazebo that was a thirtieth-anniversary gift from him and his brothers to their parents a decade ago. Head bent, her long blond hair hid her face as she concentrated on whatever she held in her hands.

He got out of his truck and headed up the path toward her. The sun was warm through the cotton material of his short-sleeved shirt. Boy, it felt good to be in civilian clothes again, to be wearing cowboy boots instead of combat boots.

Abby evidently didn’t hear him approach. As soon as he saw her fingers flying over the smooth keyboard of her cell phone he knew why. So he leaned against the open door frame. “Hey, is this the Murphy place?”

Her head shot up. “Yeah?”

He tugged down his mirrored sunglasses and peeked at her over the rim. A wide smile came over her face.

“Uncle Adam!”

Jumping into his arms, she gave him a big hug. Abby and her brothers were visiting their mother in Boston when he was last home in April, so it’d been eleven months since he’d seen them. What a difference a year made.

“Boy, have you gotten tall.” He returned her hug, set her down and righted his sunglasses. “And even prettier, if that’s possible. Where are the twins?”

Abby grinned at his compliment and rolled her eyes. “You mean Tweedledum and Tweedledumber? Probably inside playing video games on Uncle Dev’s computer.”

Adam laughed. “Is that any way to talk about your brothers?”

“I’ve heard you all calling each other worse names than that,” she shot back. “Most of which I’m not allowed to repeat.”

“Hey, those weren’t meant for young ears.”

She tucked her phone into her pocket. “My ears turned sixteen last winter.”

“Something I’m sure your father is thrilled about.” Adam laid an arm across her shoulders. “Where is everyone?”

She gestured toward the main house. “Having their usual Saturday afternoon wrap-up before a family barbeque. Nana and Pop are coming home today. Aren’t you supposed to be overseas?”

“Yep, so let’s surprise them.” Adam headed up the walkway, his niece tucked in close next to him. “Glad school is out?”

He listened as Abby chattered about her summer plans, his gaze moving around the family’s property that bordered a lake with an official Indian name too difficult to pronounce so everyone just called it “the lake.” There were two smaller log homes that sat nestled in the surrounding trees and the skeletal framing of a third that stood closer to the water near the boathouse.

Nolan had moved into the larger home with his three kids after they’d moved back to Destiny a couple of years ago. According to an email from his mother, the newlyweds, Bryant and Laurie, occupied the one-bedroom cabin where he’d lived for a few years. What he couldn’t see was the log chapel situated deeper in the woods his family had built and where Bryant and Laurie were married last fall.

They entered the main house through his mother’s kitchen, right off the oversize deck. The large and sunny room, like the rest of the place, had grown and changed over the years as the family and the business had. Back here, and the two wings on either side, was where his three single brothers still lived along with his folks.

The front of the house was comprised of offices, conference rooms, a wide staircase that led to the second-story guest quarters and a reception area that doubled as a gathering spot for clients, staff and, on the weekends, family.

A hard kick of anticipation landed in Adam’s stomach. This past year had been tough, especially with his unit losing two of its own during this last tour. Escorting the body of his best friend home the previous summer had been the hardest duty Adam had ever done during his twenty years of service.

Despite all that, he was damn glad to be back in Destiny.

“Dad said you wouldn’t be back for another week.” Abby looked up at him and grinned. “Wait here. I’ll let him know someone wants to see him. They’re all gonna be stupefied when you walk into the room.”

His niece’s unique description was a step above the reaction he’d gotten yesterday from Fay.

Waiting out of sight on the other side of the large log archway, his mind went back to everything he and Fay had said—and didn’t say—to each other.

Much like he’d done ever since she’d walked out his door.

He wanted to call her, to see if she was feeling all right. She’d looked so tired. But every time he grabbed his cell phone, something kept him from dialing her number.

His plan to steer clear was going to be impossible to keep. He’d known that the moment he’d first seen her, touched her.

Except he was sure Fay didn’t feel the same way.

“Hey, Dad, you got a visitor outside.” Abby’s voice carried across the room. “Can I show him in?”

“Now?” His brother’s reply was laced with irritation.

Adam grinned. Nolan was the next in line after him, younger with less than two years separating them, so his annoyance was nothing new.

“The last thing I want right now is to put on a happy face for a client.”

“How about for a brother?” Adam stepped out and headed for the U-shaped seating area in front of the large stone fireplace. “Can I put a grin on that ugly mug of yours?”

Chaos broke out as everyone jumped to their feet and rushed him. Nolan reached him first, his smile broad and sincere. Adam found himself returning hugs with each of his brothers and high-fiving his thirteen-year-old nephews who came to see what all the noise was about.

He ignored Dev’s whispered comment about owing him for keeping his mouth shut, congratulated his kid brother Ric on earning his college degree and ended with giving his new sister-in-law a big kiss since he’d missed seeing her in April, as she’d been traveling on company business.

“Well done, you two.” He shot Bryant a wink. “Glad that brother of mine finally made an honest woman of you.”

“When I told him he either had to marry me or find himself a new senior management accountant, he finally came around.” Laurie grinned. “We’re sorry you couldn’t be there for the ceremony.”

“No worries.” He’d had a trip home planned last October for the wedding, but his plans had been changed at the last minute, courtesy of the U.S. military. “Glad you went ahead without me. We Murphy boys aren’t just good-looking. We’re smart, too.”

“Smart enough to stay single,” Liam called out, returning from the kitchen with handfuls of cold beers. “At least some of us are. Here, bro. You must be wanting one of these.”

Before he could take a sip from the bottle, Adam spotted his parents as they entered the main room through the archway he’d used moments ago. It gave him a thrill to see both of them looking tanned, fit and happy.

“Well, this is a fine welcoming committee.” The clear, sweet voice of Elise Murphy rose over their chatter as she walked into the room. “I expected to find everyone out enjoying this beautiful day and someone manning the grill already …”

Adam stepped out from behind his brothers, who all stood at close to six feet, to face his parents, smiling when his mother stopped short, her words fading when she spotted him. “Sorry, Mom. I guess we got a little carried away talking.”

“Adam!” Elise Murphy raced to him and he pulled her into his arms, easily lifting the petite woman off her feet. “Oh, you’re home!”

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