Dear Reader

It doesn’t seem ten minutes since I first sat down to write one of these letters for my first book, and now I’m on number five it’s becoming a regular pleasure.

It’s often said that true courage is doing something despite your fear. If that’s so then we are all heroes and heroines, because everyone’s done something which has frightened them. And sometimes fear can be a good thing. It warns us of danger, helps to keep us safe. But when fear ceases to be a reaction to present danger and becomes a way of living it’s exhausting and overwhelming.

Katya has lived through a terrible experience, and although her physical wounds have healed she has every reason to feel fearful still. Meeting gentle, handsome Luke might be one of the best things she’s ever done, but it turns out to be one of the most difficult as well, when she is forced to confront her fears head-on.

Some of my own fears are in this book—both rational and irrational—and if writing about them was at times demanding, it was also a voyage of discovery for me.

I hope you enjoy Luke and Katya’s story. I’m always delighted to hear from readers and you can e-mail me via my website at: www.annieclaydon.com

Annie

Re-awakening His Shy Nurse

Annie Claydon

www.millsandboon.co.uk

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DEDICATION

To all the staff and carers at the Sir Thomas Lipton Memorial Home, who prove daily that no kindness is too great to attempt or too small to bother with.

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Epilogue

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

SOMETIMES IT WAS the little things that mattered. A decent cup of coffee to start the day. A woman’s smile.

The days when Luke Kennedy opened his eyes to coffee and a smile were long gone and he’d got to the point where he hardly missed them. As he swung the door to the coffee shop open, he revised that sentiment slightly. He didn’t miss his ex-wife any more. But there was something about the smile of the latest recruit to the ranks of early-morning coffee-makers that made him regret his resolve to do without those moments of simple pleasure until he was up and dressed and had driven to the high street.

‘Hey, there.’ Her head popped up from beneath the counter. ‘Usual?’

‘Thanks. Two shots.’

‘I know.’ She gave him a lopsided grin that told him he would be mistaken if he chose to underestimate her. ‘You’re early this morning, I’ve only just opened up.’

Luke shrugged. It would be way too much information to tell her that it was the thought of her iridescent green eyes that had jolted him into wakefulness this morning. ‘Yeah.’

‘Right.’ The little quirk of her lips was far too knowing. As if she somehow understood that he’d made a decision not to get too close, and she didn’t blame him. Or maybe he was just looking for meanings where there were none.

She set the coffee to brew and poured the milk, twisting the controller for the steam nozzle. The significance of the slight popping sound that came from the coffee machine registered too late, and by the time it did, her startled yelp had already jolted Luke out of his reverie and into action.

‘Hey.’ He rounded the end of the counter and she stumbled another couple of steps backwards, obviously panicking. ‘Are you hurt?’

She was nursing one hand against her chest, still backing away from the steam that was issuing from the coffee machine. Luke turned, twisting the knob and shutting it off. ‘Did you burn yourself?’

She jumped as her back hit the far end of the counter, but it seemed to bring her to her senses. ‘I’m okay. I’m fine. Thanks.’

‘No, you’re not. Let me see.’ He took a step forward, holding out his hand, and she seemed to flinch even further back, like a frightened animal caught in a trap.

The look in her eyes wasn’t shock or pain. It was him that she was backing away from. Luke froze, instinctively spreading his hands, palms forward, in a sign that he would do her no harm. ‘Why don’t you put your hand into some cold water?’ He reached slowly for the small sink behind the counter and turned the tap on.

She hesitated. ‘Yes. Yes, I will. Thanks.’ It was obvious that she wasn’t going to come out of her corner yet and he had two choices. March over there, take hold of her and pull her over to the sink, if necessary, was the quickest, but something told him that if he tried that she’d only start to panic even more. Luke went for the second option and gave her some space.

By the time he’d made it back to the other side of the counter, she had her hand in the sink. And she was blushing. ‘I’m sorry. I overreacted.’

Luke could let that go. Right now, with the flush spreading from her cheeks to the nape of her neck, he could let just about anything go. ‘Are you all right? I didn’t mean to scare you.’

‘You didn’t.’ The answer was too defensive to be anything other than an excuse. ‘I … I just got a bit of a shock. Someone must have forgotten to clean the steam nozzle properly last night and when I switched it on …’ She tailed off. The tips of her ears were bright pink now and she was clutching at straws, trying to pretend that she hadn’t panicked and tried to run when he’d only tried to help her.

‘Made me jump, too.’ Not entirely true, but he got a nervous smile in return. ‘How’s your hand now?’

He expected her to evade the enquiry, but instead she withdrew her hand from the water, squinted at it and then plunged it back into the sink. ‘It looks fine. A little red, but it doesn’t feel too bad.’

She couldn’t have piqued his curiosity more if she’d tried. That sudden, perplexing reaction, followed by what seemed like a decision of sorts to trust him. ‘Best to keep it in the water a little while longer.’ She seemed far more comfortable now that the counter was separating them, and Luke planted his hands down on it, in a sign that he didn’t intend to again invade what she so obviously considered was her territory.

She nodded, abstractedly. She clearly had something on her mind, but it was impossible to tell what. Perhaps doing something practical would reassure her. ‘Have you got a first-aid kit behind there?’

‘Yes. It’s here.’ She reached under the sink with her free hand and pulled out a large plastic box, stretching across to slide it onto the counter.

Luke reached for the box and snapped it open. ‘I may not be qualified to treat humans, but I can do some basic first aid.’

‘Who are you qualified to treat?’ She was looking at him gravely.

‘Animals. I’m a vet.’

She nodded. ‘Well, I’ve seen enough burns to know that this one’s superficial. It’ll be sore for twenty-four hours and then it’ll be fine.’

‘Good. Now we’ve got that out of the way, perhaps you’ll let me dress it for you. It won’t take a moment to put a bandage on it.’ Luke couldn’t usually reason with his patients and it was refreshing to do so now. More complicated as well. Animals didn’t smell so good.

There was a moment of awkward silence and then the tension between them snapped. The quiet sound of her laugh was like fresh water poured over his burnt-out nerve-endings and sparking them back into life. ‘I suppose I’d be better off if I had four legs and not two.’

‘Much better. Or no legs. I’m good with snakes as well.’ He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

‘So how do you bandage a snake, then?’ She lifted her hand out of the water, dabbing it dry with a napkin as she walked slowly over to the counter.

‘Carefully. But that’s a very old joke.’

She laughed again, her eyes dancing, and then held her hand out towards him. Gently he touched the tips of her fingers and felt them tremble. Turning her hand to ascertain the extent of the damage, he applied his knowledge of first aid for humans and decided that he concurred with her assessment. It was a very minor burn.

Luke withdrew a small bandage from the first-aid kit. ‘You’ll not be wanting an Elizabethan collar?’

‘Think I can resist the temptation to gnaw at it.’ Even though she seemed more at ease with him now, she was still watching him carefully and Luke concentrated hard on winding the bandage with absolute precision around her hand. Tried to forget her eyes and the pallor of her skin against her auburn hair. The fragility of her almost-too-slender wrist.

‘That should do it.’ He fastened the bandage carefully, and she held her hand in front of her face, inspecting his handiwork.

‘Very neat.’ She was teasing him now, and Luke’s stomach tightened. Everything she did and said just seemed to stoke the growing fascination he felt. ‘So where do you usually do your bandaging?’

It was an innocent enough question, but Luke was under no illusions. This was a breakthrough of mammoth proportions. Up till now she’d shied away from anything that was even remotely personal, and he’d done so, too. But her mesmerising eyes broke his resolve.

‘I have my own practice. I’m also involved with the new nature reserve a couple of miles out of the village on the road towards Knighton. Along with a few other projects.’

‘So you’re a busy man, then.’

Luke nodded. He’d kept himself busy since Tanya had left. Found the contentment in his work that the sudden end of his marriage had stripped him of, filling his time so that there was no temptation to look elsewhere. ‘I stay occupied.’

‘Better get you your coffee, then. I don’t want to stop the wheels of industry from turning.’ She turned away from him, concentrating hard on the coffee machine, and Luke saw the side of her face flush slightly. ‘You won’t … tell anyone, will you? This is the first time I’ve opened up on my own.’

Women and their secrets. But this one seemed innocuous enough. ‘What’s to tell? Why don’t you sit down and I’ll make the coffee?’ He supposed that would have to be their secret, too, and the idea made him smile. ‘You … er … might be in shock or something.’

She dismissed the thought with a laugh. ‘I don’t think so.’ She pushed a large cardboard beaker in his direction. ‘But thanks for helping. This one’s on the house.’

It was almost a week before Luke heard another word from her. On the mornings that she was there in the coffee shop, she somehow contrived to be busy, leaving someone else to serve him. The more she ignored him, the more it intrigued him and finally, in the face of Luke’s determined patience, she broke.

‘Don’t you have a loyalty card?’

It was something. Luke was used to gaining trust by inches, and this sudden leap forward made an indifferent Thursday morning take on a sparkling, gem-like quality. ‘About twenty of them, in the glove compartment of my car. Each of them with one stamp.’

She twisted her lips in what might be construed as a grin. ‘That’s okay, you only need seven stamps for a coffee. Nothing in the rules that says they all have to be on the same card.’

Luke planted his elbows on the counter, leaning towards her slightly, and she didn’t draw back. ‘Okay, I’ll—’

‘No, no, no!’ Olenka, the manager of the coffee shop, had been checking stock behind the counter and it was she who leaned towards Luke, her chin jutting belligerently. ‘No kitten, no free coffee.’

The spark of excitement that was making Luke’s heart beat a little faster fizzled out, and the grimace he shot Olenka wasn’t all for show. ‘That’s blackmail, Olenka.’

‘Well spotted. Katya will not give you free coffee until my child has a kitten.’

Katya. She didn’t wear a name badge like the others, and Luke had been trying to fit different names to her smile. This one was perfect and it rolled around Luke’s brain, leaving happiness in its wake. Katya.

‘Do you hear me?’ Olenka was waving a finger at him.

‘I hear you. And it’s still next week, free coffee or not. You can’t rush nature.’

Olenka gave a laughing gesture of resignation, slipping into her mother tongue to express her feelings as she turned to Katya.

‘Tak.’ Katya gave Luke a small shrug. ‘Sounds as if you get to pay this week.’

‘That’s fine.’ Luke grinned at Olenka. ‘I’ll collect next week.’

Katya made his coffee, just the way he liked it, and handed it over, stamping a new loyalty card and stowing it under the counter. ‘I’ll keep this here, so you can’t forget it next time.’

‘Thanks.’ Time for just one more question before he had to pick up his coffee and go. ‘So you speak Polish?’

She nodded. ‘My father’s …’ She stopped herself. Even that small detail was clearly more information than she was comfortable about giving.

‘Right. My father’s a Scot.’ He grinned at her, picked up his coffee and turned before she had a chance to reply. If life had taught him one thing, it had made it very clear to Luke that the best time to leave was when you were winning.

Katya watched him go. He was broad, strong looking, but that didn’t necessarily count against him. The man who had ruined her career and put her in her own hospital, as a patient rather than a nurse, hadn’t been all that imposing. It was the eyes that mattered and there was kindness in this man’s dark eyes.

‘Luke.’ Katya too was being watched, and Olenka unglued herself from the doorway to the stockroom, letting it drift closed behind her.

‘So Peter’s getting a kitten, eh?’ The best thing to do was to ignore Olenka. The man was easy on the eye but his name was immaterial. All she needed to know about him was that he liked his latte with two shots.

‘Yes, he’s wanted one for a long time. He’s old enough to look after it properly.’ Olenka had switched back into Polish. Although Katya was a Londoner, whereas her cousin Olenka had been born and brought up in Poland, they shared a love of the language. It reminded Katya of her father, and Olenka of home.

‘It’ll do him good to have something to look after. What kind of kitten?’

Olenka shrugged. ‘Lucasz says they’re a bit of everything. There are seven kittens and they’re all different, so I’m going to take Piotr to go and choose one.’ She quirked her lips downwards. ‘Next week. Lucasz can’t rush nature and neither can I.’

‘Thought you said his name was Luke.’ Katya slipped back into English to make her point.

‘I like him. It is a compliment.’ Olenka narrowed her eyes. ‘You like him?’

‘He seems nice enough. I don’t really know him.’

Olenka dismissed her with a gesture. ‘It only takes one look to find out if you like a man.’

Katya had thought the same once upon a time. ‘I don’t do first impressions, Ola. My judgement isn’t that good.’

Olenka shook her head. ‘You made one mistake …’

‘One’s enough.’ Katya hadn’t suspected for a moment that everything had been about to blow up in her face so badly when she’d tried to help a patient. You didn’t get to make mistakes like that and still keep your faith in your own judgement.

Olenka groaned in frustration. Just the way Katya would have done before it had all happened, but now she knew differently. ‘You can look. You don’t need to touch.’

That was the trouble really. Katya was beginning to feel that she did need to touch. ‘He’s not that good-looking.’

‘Pftt. Are you blind?’ Olenka gave Katya’s comment exactly the consideration it deserved.

A clatter at the doorway came to her rescue and Katya turned, smiling at the man who was hurrying towards the counter. The first of the eight-thirty coffee rush. No time now to think about Luke’s dark, slightly dishevelled curls or his kind eyes. Or wonder whether those broad shoulders really were enough to keep someone safe. In all likelihood they were. Just not this someone.

CHAPTER TWO

PETER WAS SITTING obediently at the corner table of the coffee shop, one of his mother’s special hot chocolate drinks and a computer game in front of him. Katya took her eyes off him long enough to serve two women who couldn’t decide which drink was lowest in calories, and when she flipped her gaze back across the counter, Luke was sitting opposite him.

‘Peter … Peter …’ Peter was rummaging in his backpack and ignored her completely, but Luke looked up. Fair enough. This was a coffee shop and she worked here. There was no reason why she shouldn’t ask Luke herself. ‘Would you like something to drink?’

‘The hot chocolate looks nice.’ He got to his feet.

‘That’s okay. Stay there, I’ll bring it across.’ Katya made his drink carefully, creamy and rich with shaved chocolate sprinkled on top. When she set it in front of him he smiled appreciatively.

‘Thanks. What’s the damage?’

‘It’s on the house.’ Katya allowed herself a smile in his general direction. ‘I hear that the kittens are at home for visitors today.’

‘Yeah. Peter tells me he’s going to photograph them—’ He broke off as Peter passed his new camera across the table, and Luke turned it over in his hands to inspect it carefully. ‘Nice one, Peter. You’ll be able to take some great pictures with that.’

‘Aunt Katya bought it for my birthday,’ Peter piped up before Katya could stop him. ‘She’s not really my aunt, though.’

‘No?’ Luke gave the boy a conspiratorial smile.

‘No. She’s not my mother’s sister, she’s my mother’s cousin.’ Peter was counting on his fingers, the way he always did when he was trying to get a difficult detail exactly right. ‘But I call her Aunt.’

‘Fair enough.’ Luke nodded, clearly fighting to keep his face straight.

‘She’s going to help me look after the kitten.’ Peter was on a roll now, information leaking out of every new sentence. ‘Aunt Katya’s come to stay with us for a while.’

Luke already knew her name and now he knew where she lived and who her family were. It wasn’t Peter’s fault and Katya stopped herself from chiding him for it. She didn’t want to teach the boy to be fearful.

She reserved the right to be cautious herself, though. Katya turned, more quickly perhaps than she should, and bolted back behind the counter. Back to her own space, where she was just an anonymous face, who smiled, brewed coffee and took the customers’ money. She could feel Luke’s eyes on her and she ignored him. Olenka would be finished in the office soon, and Peter would not allow Luke and his mother to stay here a moment longer than necessary. He would be gone soon enough.

Katya followed Luke’s SUV as it bumped down the dirt track that led towards a high, brick-built barn standing commandingly on the brow of a hill, a little way back from the road. It was obviously in the midst of renovations and the SUV came to a halt on a levelled area of gravel with a couple of portable cabins at its edge, painted green in an attempt to blend in with the landscape.

Katya had wondered whether it would be forgivable to stay in the car but dismissed the idea. Olenka was embroiled in a crisis with one of her suppliers and Katya had promised her that she would help Peter choose his kitten. That undertaking could not, by any stretch of the imagination, be accomplished from the car so she followed Luke and Peter past the main door at the front to the back of the barn, where the downward slope of the hill revealed an entrance into another storey beneath the one she’d seen from the road. Inside, the large space had been partitioned and washed down, ready to be decorated.

‘Which one do you think, Katya?’ Luke had made sure that Peter knew how to handle the kittens and then left him to the task of carefully stroking each one of them, taking up a vantage point next to her in the corner of the room.

‘The little one with the black patch over his eye looks like a pirate.’ The tiny creature was the least outgoing of the brood, keeping to the large box that had been lined with cushions and an old rug.

‘Doesn’t he just. Unfortunately he really is blind in that eye.’

‘He was born that way?’

Luke grimaced, shaking his head. ‘Nope. They were abandoned and when someone found them and brought them here, he had an eye infection. We managed to save one eye, but the infection got to the optic nerve in the other and he’s completely blind on that side.’

‘He’ll be difficult to find a home for, then.’ The small creature was hurt and disorientated. Frightened by the world. She had more than an inkling of how that felt.

Luke was looking hard at her, and she avoided his gaze. ‘He has a home.’

‘Good. That’s good.’ Katya didn’t need to ask where. The kitten was already home and he could stay for as long as he wanted. ‘So you’re renovating this place?’ The mellow shades of the old bricks gave it a rustic charm and it seemed a shame to Katya that they’d soon be covered in plaster and paint.

‘Yeah. I brought the kittens down here because it stinks of paint upstairs.’ He opened a door in the partition wall, which revealed a small hallway with a staircase beyond. ‘Peter, you’ll be okay here if we go upstairs for a moment, won’t you?’

‘Yes.’ Clearly the only thing Peter wanted right now was to pet as many kittens at once as possible, and Katya and Luke were both bothersome interruptions to the matter in hand. Katya shrugged, grinning, and followed Luke, latching the door closed behind her to stop any of the kittens from escaping.

The staircase led to the ground-level entrance hall at the front of the building. There was a door to the right and a wide arch to the left, which he ushered her through. ‘What do you think?’

The evening sunlight shimmered across the exposed brickwork and roof beams, giving a feeling of even more space to the already large room. ‘It’s huge! And you’ve left the brickwork.’

‘It’s too good to hide. They’ve been repointed and I had a clear sealant put on there …’ Luke regarded the walls thoughtfully. ‘Turned out more expensive than just covering them up with plasterboard, but I think it’s worth it.’

‘Definitely. It looks fantastic.’ Katya walked to the middle of the space, turning full circle to see everything. ‘What are you going to use this for?’

‘This is the public part of the building. It’s for small exhibitions, lectures, children’s activities.’ He jerked his thumb towards the hallway. ‘The office space is through there, and my veterinary practice is going to be housed downstairs, where Peter is now.’

His enthusiasm for the project was obvious in every line of his face and those long, strong limbs. If it was at all possible, he seemed to stand taller here, his shoulders even squarer, proud of the vast amount of work that had already been done, and ready for the amount needed to complete the project. There had been a time when Katya had been that immersed in her work, and the sudden feeling of loss almost made her choke.

‘Would you like to see the office space?’ His voice was suddenly tender, as if he could see the crushing sadness that had just dumped itself on her shoulders. ‘It’s not finished yet, but …’

‘Yes.’ Katya gave him a bright, brittle smile. Maybe, one day, she’d find something she could put her heart into, where there was no danger of her messing up. Until then, she’d keep making coffee and smiling.

Luke wasn’t quite sure what he’d said or done to set the ghosts swirling in her eyes. Perhaps it would have been better to stay with Peter, but the temptation to show her the project that was so close to his heart had overwhelmed him, and now that he’d brought her up here, he couldn’t take her back downstairs again without at least showing her around quickly.

She didn’t seem in that much of a hurry, though. If anything, she lingered over the half-finished office space, inspecting the kitchen and tiny shower room and pacing the full length and breadth of the main area.

‘It’s a huge space.’

‘Yeah. I’m going to have demountable partitions made so it can be split up into thirds later on, if necessary. For now, I prefer open-plan.’ He was watching her carefully, trying to see the place through her eyes. The value that she put on it had suddenly become un-realistically important.

‘Yes. The views are beautiful, too.’ She was leaning on one of the windowsills, looking out at the rolling green countryside. ‘It’ll be better still once you get those prefabs down.’

For the first time Luke saw the two, low, prefabricated units that had been home sweet home for the last two years through someone else’s eyes. ‘They’ll be staying for a while.’

‘But surely once you get your new offices and surgery …?’

He shifted uncomfortably. ‘That’s where I live.’

She reddened slightly. ‘Oh! I thought …’ Suspicion flickered in her eyes and hardened suddenly. ‘I thought that the coffee shop was on your way to work.’

‘It is. My surgery’s still down in the village. I pick up my coffee on the way there from here.’ He shrugged. ‘In a few weeks’ time I’ll be giving up the lease on my practice premises and moving it over here. It’s all part of a five-year plan.’

‘I see.’ She thought for a moment then nodded, obviously finding his answer acceptable. ‘So when do you get somewhere permanent to live?’

‘That’s not at the top of my list of priorities right now. I bought this land two years ago, and I’ve ploughed every penny I have into getting this place set up. I’ve got planning permission for a house down by the road there, but it’ll have to wait.’ He indicated the spot where the house would eventually stand, shaded by trees and currently overrun with brambles. ‘In the meantime, I have no shortage of fresh blackberries.’

‘Pretty long-term project.’ She was craning to see the spot he had indicated, and then her gaze swept back to the temporary buildings. ‘Doesn’t it get cold in there in the winter?’

Cold, unwelcoming, utilitarian. He didn’t spend a lot of time there anyway, and up until this moment he had neither wanted nor needed anything else. The word ‘home’ had seemed overrated. ‘Depends how many pairs of socks I wear.’

She smiled. Really smiled. A smile like that could make anywhere a home. ‘This is an amazing place, Luke. It’ll be worth it when it’s finished.’

He wanted to hug her. No—that was hardly substantial or long-lasting enough. He wanted to hold her. But the last time he’d come too close to her, he’d seen fear in her eyes and she had shrunk back from him. If that happened again, it would shatter everything that Luke had ever believed about himself. A man that a woman feared was no kind of man at all. He turned quickly, cannoning into a workbench, and put his hand out to steady himself.

The blade sliced into his thumb like a hot knife through butter. In the moment before he felt any pain he jerked his hand away from the workman’s knife, which had been left out on the bench, and saw blood plume over his fingers.

‘Dammit.’ Some blood drops had skittered across to a gap in the plastic covering the newly laid flooring and were beginning to soak into the untreated wood. Luke held his injured hand over an empty paint can and bent to repair the damage.

He felt her hands on his, something wrapped around the gash and pressure at the base of his thumb. ‘Don’t worry about that.’

‘It’ll stain the wood.’ Luke hissed out a curse as the plastic slipped under his feet and more blood spilled onto the floor.

‘And you’re just making it worse.’ Her voice was calm but brooked no argument. ‘What’s done is done. Come here and we’ll sort that out later.’ She pulled him away, her green eyes flashing dangerously when he made to resist.

‘Hey, that’s my fabric sample …’ Somehow she’d managed to locate the only clean piece of fabric in the whole place and wrap it around his hand, in the space of time it had taken Luke to half assess the damage to the flooring.

‘You’re using that colour in here?’ She raised one eyebrow. Whatever hesitation she might have displayed in the past was gone now. She was direct, calm and unmistakably in charge. Capital letters, In Charge.

‘No. When I got it back here, I thought something a little lighter would be better.’

‘Good. You’ll not be needing it, then.’ She rolled her eyes as Luke tried to move her fingers to inspect his thumb. ‘Stop that and come here.’

She hustled him down the stairs and thrust him into a battered armchair that the workmen used during their coffee breaks. ‘Peter.’ Peter was immersed in trying to disentangle a set of claws from his pullover and Katya’s voice increased in intensity if not volume. ‘Peter, will you take my keys and go and get the red bag from the back of my car, please?’

Luke took his chance. When she wore her vulnerability like armour, he could do nothing else but treat her gently. But now it was as if her true self had emerged, fearless and capable. He was the one who was at a disadvantage now, and he could afford to flex his muscles a little with her.

‘Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. I need to see if I can get those bloodspots off the flooring before it stains.’

She dismissed him with a flip of her eyelashes and Luke grinned. ‘It’s already stained. You might be able to get it off with vinegar. If that doesn’t work, try a little bleach.’

‘I’d better go and see …’ He broke off as she wiggled the thumb of her free hand at him.

‘See this?’

‘Yep. I cut my hand, not cracked my skull.’

‘It’s an opposable thumb.’ She grinned at him. ‘You of all people should know how tricky things get without it.’

‘It’s a myth that we’re the only species with opposable thumbs, lots of animals have them. Gibbons, great apes. Some possums have two digits that oppose the other three. Giant pandas …’

‘So many for you to keep up with. Be a shame if you lost your grip.’ She lifted the corner of the fabric. ‘Seems to have stopped bleeding. Any loss of feeling in your thumb?’

‘No.’ Luke mimicked the movements of her thumb, circling and bending his own, and she nodded.

‘Okay. I’ll clean it and tape it up, but you need to get it looked at by a doctor if you experience any loss of sensation or movement or the wound becomes infected.’

‘Right.’ An idea was beginning to occur to Luke, and when she unzipped the red nylon bag that Peter had brought to her side, it began to gain form and substance. ‘Done this before?’

‘Once or twice.’ She began to clean the wound with alcohol wipes selected from the well-stocked first-aid kit.

‘I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing. I don’t want to trust my valuable opposable thumbs to just anyone.’

‘I think you’ll be okay.’ No explanation. Nothing to reassure him, but then he was getting used to Katya giving the absolute minimum of information and leaving him wondering. Luke didn’t need it, though, her attitude and obvious expertise were quite enough.

‘It looks horrible.’ Peter had been watching carefully.

‘It does now. But the miracle of the human body is that it can heal. It’ll be just fine in a few days. When we get home, I’ll show you exactly what to do if anyone you know cuts themselves like this.’ She took a moment to check that Peter was happy with her answer and gave a little satisfied nod. ‘Now, have you chosen which kitten you’d like to take home with us?’

‘That one.’ Peter pointed to an all-black kitten, the boldest of the crew, and the one that Luke had expected him to take to. ‘Or that one.’ A little white one, with blue eyes and undoubtedly the prettiest. ‘Or perhaps …’

Katya laughed. ‘Well, I guess you’ve got a bit more thinking to do.’ She paused for a moment to concentrate on taping Luke’s wound and then glanced across at Peter’s rucksack. ‘Perhaps one of them has chosen you.’

Peter caught his breath and ran over to his rucksack, where the tiny kitten with the black patch over its eye had managed to work the zip open and was trying to crawl inside. Carefully he disentangled its claws, and let it attach itself to his chest instead. ‘It’s licking my hand!’

‘Can you let that one go?’ She turned to Luke, seeming to know that the weakest of the litter, the one that he had needed to nurse back to health, was the one that he most wanted to find a good home for. ‘Olenka will make sure he’s looked after properly.’

‘I know.’ He nodded over towards Peter and his new best friend. ‘All he needs now is someone to care for him, and it seems he’s found that.’

Luke’s gaze found Katya’s and she gave him a nod and a shy smile. Now that she was out of the loose-fitting top and apron that she wore at the coffee shop, he could see how slim she was. Almost painfully so. He wouldn’t have credited her with the strength to propel him downstairs the way she had just now.

‘All done.’ She regarded her work for a moment and then began to pack her things back into her bag, pulling her surgical gloves off and stuffing them into the pocket of her jeans. ‘You do need to see a doctor if—’

‘I know.’ Luke thought he saw an echo of his grin in her face. ‘I will. Thanks.’

She nodded, and instinct told Luke that now was not the time to press her any further. Or maybe it was, just a little. ‘I promised Olenka some things for the kitten if Peter chose one. They’re in my cabin. Will you help me carry them back?’ Luke made a slightly shamefaced gesture towards his injured hand. There was no point in wasting a good excuse.

‘Of course. Peter, you’ll be all right here for a minute?’

Peter didn’t even bother to answer, he was so absorbed with carefully stroking the small creature that had curled up in his arms.

‘He’ll be fine. We won’t be long.’ Luke made his way to the door, sure somehow that Katya would follow.

He could hear her footsteps on the gravel behind him. When he turned, she was hugging the red bag to her chest, and Luke unlocked the door to his temporary home and ducked inside, manners giving way to instinct. She’d make her own decision about whether she wanted to come in or not.

‘It looks cosy.’ She was craning her head through the doorway, keeping her feet on the rickety steps outside.

Luke shrugged. ‘It’s enough for me at the moment.’ A sofa bed that creaked whenever he turned over. His books, stacked neatly into a couple of packing cases in the corner and his clothes in a chest of drawers. A desk for his laptop, an old easy chair, and that was about it. He didn’t spend many of his waking hours here anyway.

‘It’s very tidy.’ She put the red bag down and stepped across the threshold.

‘I used to travel a lot, and I found that the best way to keep track of everything was to travel light and keep it orderly.’

She nodded. Most people would have asked where, or why he’d travelled, but he’d learned not to expect that from Katya. It would be too much like striking up a conversation, and you never knew what kind of information sharing that might lead to.

‘I was working with a unit of Rescue Dogs. We went wherever we were needed, often at pretty short notice.’ There was no reason why he shouldn’t volunteer the information.

‘Oh.’ She was still looking around intently, almost as if there was a prize on offer for shutting her eyes and remembering as many items from the room as she could.

‘The aid agency I used to work for is interested in using some of the land here as a training centre for their dogs. I’m hoping to get that up and running next spring.’

‘One of the other projects that you’re involved with.’ She turned to him, the ghost of a smile on her face. She’d remembered, and Luke’s heart crowed with triumph. Even if she didn’t seem to react much to what he said, she’d clearly been listening all this time.

‘Yeah.’ He picked up an envelope from the pile on his desk. ‘We’ve got another project that we’re trying to get off the ground as well, in partnership with the local hospital. Taking animals into the hospital so that long-stay patients can interact with them.’

A glimmer of interest showed in her eyes. Luke took his chance and handed her the envelope. ‘You might be interested in reading about it.’

‘Yes … yes, I would, thanks. Aren’t there a couple of charities that do that already?’

‘Yes, we’re working in association with one of them. And directly with the hospital authorities.’

Luke opened the door to the store cupboard and busied himself with sorting out an animal carrier, some kitten food and a few leaflets for Olenka, which he annotated quickly with extra information. When he glanced back in Katya’s direction, she was peering inside the envelope, flipping through the papers inside.

‘I’m looking to employ someone to help me for the next three months. This place is taking up a lot of time, and I need to concentrate on my veterinary practice in order to finance the building work.’

‘Must be quite a juggling act.’ She’d now tucked the envelope into her bag.

‘It is at the moment. When I’ve got the visitors’ centre and the dog school properly sorted, then the place will begin to pay for itself, but that won’t be until next spring. In the meantime, I’m looking for someone with some experience of hospital procedures, who likes animals and who can work well with kids. And the pay’s not great either.’

Luke reckoned that he could match whatever Katya was getting at the coffee shop, but that was about all.

‘Sounds like a great job, though. I’m sure you’ll get some takers.’

‘Not so far. I haven’t had many applications, and they’ve all been completely unsuitable. I need someone who actually thinks that this is a good idea, not someone who doesn’t care what they’re doing as long as the hours suit them.’

She didn’t take the bait. For all Luke knew, she might have been thinking about it, but she said nothing, just picked up her bag and tucked the animal carrier under one arm. ‘You can manage the rest?’

‘Yeah, no problem. Thanks.’

He could wait. Luke had seen something in Katya, something loving and compassionate. Something that would make her fight for whatever cause found a way into that closely guarded heart of hers. In the old days, the charming, happy-go-lucky version of Luke would have wanted that for himself, along with those enchanting eyes and the body that seemed to cry out for the safety of his arms.

Now he wanted it for the only thing that his heart knew how to desire. His work, the land here, and all the possibilities that they held.

CHAPTER THREE

KATYA SAT OPPOSITE Olenka at the dining-room table, a sheet of paper between them. ‘So what do you think?’

Olenka picked up the application form, and read it through. ‘Sounds great. Really impressive.’

‘What would you do?’

‘Well, he hasn’t offered you the job yet. There’s nothing wrong with making an enquiry to find out whether it’s what you want …’ Olenka twisted her mouth in an expression of resignation. ‘That’s not the problem, eh.’

‘No. I’m going to have to tell him about what happened.’

Olenka sighed. ‘Okay, so what did happen? You meet a guy in the course of your work, have a few conversations with him and he decides that he’s in love with you. He asks you out, you turn him down nicely and he stabs you. It wasn’t your fault. No one said it was your fault.’

‘That’s not all, though, is it?’ Olenka made it all sound so simple but there was so much more to it than that. Enough to fog even the most straightforward decisions.

‘Of course not. It’s all that matters to any employer, though.’ Olenka looked weary. She worked hard, raising a child and running a business, and now it seemed she had Katya to look after as well.

‘I’m sorry, Ola. You’ve enough on your plate, you can do without me turning up and dumping my troubles on your doorstep.’

Olenka grinned. ‘Lucky for me that’s not what your parents said when I arrived from Poland with a new baby and no husband.’ She crooked her little finger and Katya wound hers around it. Shades of the time when Katya had been the one to offer comfort, helping Olenka with her English and babysitting when she went out looking for work. ‘Look, the only thing I care about is that you’ll be safe and happy. And from what I know of Luke, you will be.’

‘You mean from what your spies tell you?’ It hadn’t escaped Katya’s attention that Olenka had drawn a couple of her customers aside, people who, she guessed, knew Luke well, and asked a few hushed but clearly important questions.

‘You’re not in London now, this is a village. Everyone has spies.’ Olenka brushed the accusation off. ‘And none of mine have a word to say against him.’

‘Right. And what do they have to say about me?’

‘Nothing. What happened to you is your business, no one else’s. The only thing that Luke has a right to know is whether you can do the job. This other thing is …’ Olenka waved her hand dismissively ‘… nothing to do with it.’

‘You think so?’ Katya supposed that Olenka was right. On the other hand, this was a position of responsibility. Shouldn’t a prospective employer know that she had feet of clay?

‘You came here to make a new start. You can leave it all behind you if you want to. Whatever you want to think, none of what happened was your fault.’

Katya shrugged. She couldn’t bear to say that she was innocent when she felt so very guilty, even for Olenka’s sake. ‘Well, I’ll send the application form off and see what happens. Maybe I won’t even get the job.’

Clutching the envelope that contained her curriculum vitae, Katya walked through the pub and into the garden behind it, scanning the wooden tables and benches. Luke was there, an untouched pint of beer in front of him and a blond Labrador retriever dozing in the sun at his feet. He frowned when he caught sight of her.

‘I thought we decided this wasn’t an interview.’ His eye travelled from her blouse and skirt to his own work-worn jeans. ‘I didn’t bother to dress up.’

‘Neither did I.’ Like hell she hadn’t. Katya had spent a good couple of hours deciding what to wear. Lively and outgoing the job description had said. She’d reckoned that warranted a bright summer skirt and a pair of strappy sandals, and that her plain blouse would cover the responsible part of things.

‘Oh. Well, in that case what can I get you to drink?’ He grinned up at her, his dark eyes flashing with mischief.

‘Water, please. Sparkling.’ Katya sat down opposite him, laying her envelope on the wooden trestle table.

‘Sure? I can’t get you anything stronger? This really isn’t an interview, it’s just an informal chat …’

‘I’d like some water, please.’ Katya wanted to keep a clear head for this.

‘Of course.’ Luke bent and ran his hand down the sleeping dog’s back and it opened its eyes. Dark and soft, like its master’s. ‘Meet Bruno. Say hello, Bruno.’

The dog rose and lifted its paw, and Katya took it. ‘Is he yours?’

‘Don’t let him hear you say that. Bruno’s always earned his own living. He’s retired from the rescue business now, though, and I’m the one who gets to feed and look after him.’ Luke rose from his seat. ‘Ice and lemon?’

‘Yes, thanks. Not too much ice.’

Katya watched him go. Pale, washed-out jeans that fitted him far too well and a dark polo shirt, which clung to his broad shoulders. An easy, laid-back gait, which made her want to walk beside him. Any woman would. Luke was by far the best-looking man she’d seen in years, probably for ever, and he had that indeterminate quality about him that turned good-looking into something that made you catch your breath and shiver every time you even thought about his lips.

She’d get used to it, though. After a couple of weeks working alongside him she’d get to see the person and forget all about the gorgeous outer wrapping. And she wanted this job. Katya had come to the conclusion that she wasn’t ready to go back to nursing yet, but she’d outgrown the coffee shop. She wanted something more, and this was an ideal stepping stone.

The clink of ice in a glass shattered her reverie. ‘I see you’ve already won the chairman of the board over.’ Luke’s eyes were flashing with gentle humour as he indicated Bruno’s head, resting in her lap.

‘He gets a vote?’

‘Yeah. I just get to do the talking.’ Luke sat down, sliding a bar menu across the table towards her. ‘Would you like something to eat?’ He saw her hesitate and laughed. ‘It’s not a trick question. I’m starving. Let’s order and we can talk while we’re waiting.’

He ordered a home-made burger with steak-cut chips and salad, grinning his approbation when Katya said she’d have the same. He took a draught of beer from his glass and then all his attention was on her. Katya tried not to think about how his gaze always seemed to resemble an embrace.

‘I’ve brought my CV for you.’ She laid her two-page résumé on the table between them, along with the fat A4 envelope. She’d brought a handkerchief, too. There was one point in this story that always sent tears coursing down her cheeks, however many times she practised it in front of the bathroom mirror.

‘What’s in the envelope?’

‘Just some supporting documents.’ Katya took a sip of water, wondering whether perhaps a little Dutch courage might not have been a good idea. ‘There’s something I’d like to tell you.’

‘No.’ Luke was suddenly still. Only his hand moved, to Bruno’s head, his fingers absently fondling his ears.

‘No?’ This was the one reaction she hadn’t expected from him. Anything else, but not this flat refusal to even listen to her.

‘I don’t want to hear it, Katya. The form that you filled out said that you’re a nurse. That you had a senior position in one of the top London hospitals but you left more than a year ago.’

‘Yes, that’s right.’ There was still a swell of pride. Muted now, and tinged with bitter experience, but it was still there.

‘In my experience, someone with that kind of background, who’s working in a coffee shop, is in need of a new start. Is that right?’ His manner was kind, but he’d sliced right to the bone.

‘Yes. That’s right.’ Katya felt her spine begin to sag, and pulled herself upright, squaring her shoulders.

‘Then let’s make one. Look forward instead of back.’

‘But you need to know …’ Katya knew that she had to put her own feelings aside. Disclosure was one of those things you had to do in this kind of job. ‘I’ll be working with children, with vulnerable adults …’

‘Not yet you won’t. It’ll be another month before the reserve is open to the public and we get the project going to take animals into the hospital. I need to put an advanced CRB check in motion, and I’ll take up the references that you’ve given, but …’

‘The references will be fine. There’ll be nothing on the CRB check either.’

‘So is there any reason why you shouldn’t work with me, setting up procedures and getting things organised?’

‘No.’ Luke would be in charge, and that was her safety net. She could refer any difficult decisions back to him.

‘Then this can wait.’ Luke pushed the envelope back across the table towards her. ‘Until you’re ready.’

He was giving her a chance. Taking her at face value and letting her prove herself. This was not what Katya had expected, but it felt okay. It was a place from which she could move forward.

‘Aren’t you curious?’ She almost wanted him to be.

‘Truthfully?’ He grinned. ‘Yes, of course.’

‘But you’re not going to do anything about it?’

‘No. Bruno and I are unanimous in that.’ The old dog looked up at Luke at the mention of his name and started to lick Katya’s hand. ‘See?’

There was little else to do but give in gracefully. ‘Okay.’ Katya sealed the envelope, pushing it back towards Luke. ‘Keep that for me, will you? We might be having this conversation again.’

He took the envelope without a word and stashed it, along with her résumé, in the leather document wallet that lay on the bench beside him.

‘In the meantime, I’ll be giving this job my best. And Olenka can tell you that I’ve no history of trying to strangle my work colleagues.’

He shrugged. ‘That’s okay.’ The delicious sweep of his gaze, up and down her body, made her shudder. ‘I can take care of myself.’

Luke wasn’t so sure about that. Something about her, maybe her obvious vulnerability, which she seemed determined not to give in to, stirred feelings that he would rather forget. Feelings that he’d had no trouble forgetting until a few weeks ago.

He couldn’t go back on what he’d promised her now, though. It was plain that she needed this job, and someone like Katya, with practical nursing experience and willing to take the paltry amount he could offer to pay her, was a godsend for the project that he was trying so hard to get off the ground. If it took a little bravado to make out that he was indifferent to her charms, then so be it.

They talked all through their meal, until the evening chill drove them inside. Then they talked some more, until the pub landlord called time. By then, her eyes were shining with as much enthusiasm as Luke felt.

‘Do I get the job, then?’ She’d waited until they were strolling across the car park towards her car before she asked.

‘Do you want it?’ Being able to tease her, without worrying that she was going to crumple, was something new, which they’d worked their way round to during the course of the evening, and Luke rather liked it.

‘I asked first.’ She tilted her face up towards him in the darkness. For one sweet moment Luke thought that he might kiss her and the shock of how good that felt bounced him back into reality.

‘You got the job about three hours ago. If you get into that car without accepting it, Bruno might have to beg.’ That’s right. Get Bruno to do the dirty work.

‘I’d hate to see that happen. I accept. Thank you.’

‘You might not be saying that in a week or so’s time. There’s a lot on that list we’ve just made.’

‘We’ll get through it.’ She pressed her lips together in thought, and Luke’s head began to swim again. ‘We talked about getting some shirts with the name of the nature reserve on them.’

‘Yeah. I’ll make some calls …’

‘I can speak to the guy who does the polo shirts for the coffee shop, if you’d like. When Olenka ordered some for me she said he was very reasonable and I can get his catalogue for you to look at.’

Luke grinned. He’d made the right choice. ‘That’s okay, I’m sure you’ll pick something suitable.’ He pulled out his wallet and extracted the last couple of notes from it. ‘Will that cover it?’

‘It’s more than enough. I’ll save the receipts for you.’

Accounting had never seemed so delicious. ‘Right. Thanks. If there’s room in the budget, perhaps you can get a couple for me, too.’

She folded the notes, putting them into her bag. ‘Consider it done. What size …?’ In the darkness, Luke couldn’t see whether she was blushing or not, but from the way she suddenly looked away from him she probably was. Something inside him crowed with triumph at the thought. ‘They only come in small, medium and large, so I’ll get large.’

‘That’ll be fine.’ A thought struck him. ‘Is Olenka ever going to speak to me again?’

She laughed. Luke could almost feel her breath on his cheek. It was time to step back, but somehow he couldn’t. ‘Olenka will be fine. She’ll probably give you free coffee for a week for taking me off her hands.’

‘I doubt it.’ How could she think so little of herself? Luke wondered whether the answer to that was in the manila envelope tucked in his notecase. He’d have to lock it away safely somewhere and consider swallowing the key.

She didn’t reply. As she turned to unlock her car, the temptation to take her by the shoulders and shake this nonsense out of her gripped Luke and he stumbled backwards. He wasn’t her lover, her social worker or even really a friend. He was just a guy who’d offered her a three-month contract, and it didn’t matter what either of them thought of each other as long as she did the job.

‘I’ll see you next week, then.’ Maybe he should start as he meant to go on. No popping into the coffee shop just to see her in the meantime.

‘Yes. I’m looking forward to it.’ She grinned at him. ‘Don’t forget your coffee run in the morning.’

‘Um … no, of course not.’ So much for good intentions. When she came to work with him Luke was going to have to do a little better than that.

That wasn’t going to be a problem. He only needed to think about his marriage, and how a woman’s secrets had almost destroyed him, to know that Katya’s personal life would stay locked away in that envelope and that he would stay away from her. Anything else could shatter everything he’d built here, and he wasn’t about to do that.

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