“Houston, we have a hot-astronaut problem...”

Survival expert and control freak Jessie Odell has faced the most hazardous environments on earth. Training astronauts should be a cakewalk. Nope. Enter candidate Hemi “Thor” Barrett and his hot, ripped bod, and suddenly Jessie is breathless with raw excitement—something she hasn’t felt for a long, long time—and it scares her to death.

Hemi isn’t just some sexy distraction. Jessie actually likes the guy—and that makes him more treacherous than an Everest ascent. It also means Hemi’s that much harder to resist. With every hungry, heat-fueled encounter, Jessie skirts closer to that dangerous edge. Falling for this space cowboy is definitely high stakes...but could the payoff be worth the risk?

“The kisses we shared here at the lake haunt me...”

Jessie lifted her head, gazing into Hemi’s eyes, and felt a clenching deep inside. “Me, too. I can’t escape you, Hemi—no matter how hard I try. I run or climb a ravine and I’m still thinking of you. I want you.”

“I want you, too. But I’m thinking about what you said—”

She put her fingers over his lips.

“You asked me a question the last time I was here,” she said. “I should have just said yes to you then, but fear stopped me.” It felt good, finally saying out loud what she’d been trying to ignore for days.

She was afraid to make it too easy for herself to be with him.

Lust.

That was all this was, she reminded herself. That was all she would allow it to be.

They’d be lovers, and when the candidates were done training with her, she’d wave him off and wish him well.

She couldn’t help wondering if this was another lie she told herself, but she pulled him to her and took the kiss she craved...

Dear Reader,

I’m really excited for you to read Hemi and Jessie’s story. This story combines several passions from my childhood. When I was growing up my parents didn’t allow televisions in our rooms, and my mom, fearful that my sisters and I wouldn’t have any imagination, closely monitored our viewing time. So most of the shows I watched were with my parents and were educational.

One of our favorite shows was on PBS and featured Jacques Cousteau. My parents were friends with a couple who were marine biologists in Hialeah, where I grew up, and I think I romanticized that profession. I knew I wanted Jessie to be a survivalist but as I was developing her I realized she could have my childhood dream—growing up on a research ship. I loved the contrast of Jessie being so grounded and Hemi always reaching for the stars.

They are both very brash and daring people. I wish I could be the same, but it takes a lot of internal bullying for me to do things that feel risky. In my soul I yearn to try things, but I’m practical, too, and don’t want to get hurt :). I once did some cliff diving. But that first leap took me forever!

Jessie and Hemi risk their lives every day just doing their jobs, but the biggest risk of all may be following their hearts.

Happy reading!

Katherine

Pushing the Limits

Katherine Garbera

www.millsandboon.co.uk

USA TODAY bestselling author KATHERINE GARBERA is a two-time MAGGIE® Award winner who has written more than seventy books. A Florida native who grew up to travel the globe, Katherine now makes her home in the Midlands of the UK with her husband, two children and a very spoiled miniature dachshund. Visit Katherine on the web at katherinegarbera.com, or catch up with her on Facebook and Twitter.

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This book is dedicated to Courtney and Lucas, who remind me every day how lucky I am to be their mom, and to David and Charlotte Smith, who taught me all I know about parenting. I am so lucky to be their daughter.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

Title Page

About the Author

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Extract

Copyright

1

JESSIE ODELL STOOD in the corner as the party raged on. The gala for the new Mick Tanner Training Facility was in full swing at the Bar T Ranch just outside of Cole’s Hill, Texas. Astronauts, astronaut candidates, government officials and private investors ready to fund missions that would take humanity to Mars all mingled in the converted barn. But she’d had enough of talking about her adventures and the famous people she’d met. That part of her life ended when Alexi slipped into the crevasse on Everest. When she hadn’t been able to save him.

She’d known that when she got back to base camp the grief would hit her...except it never had. She’d become icy inside and out. Her old life of making adventure films for television was over—both the thin mountain air and the drive compelling her to move forward. She was tired of having every moment of her life played out for the cameras. She was ready for some privacy.

So this job at the new Cronus mission training center had been a godsend.

“Don’t like parties much?” a man asked, coming up on her left to lean against the poorly lit wall.

“Not really,” she admitted. He was hard to see clearly in the shadows, just a silhouette of a man in a well-fitting tuxedo. She could tell he was taller than she was—which was saying something, as she was five foot ten and wearing three-inch heels. Her mother had told her to never apologize or cower because of her height and she never had. It was part of her and she couldn’t hide it.

“Me either,” he said. “I’m Thor, by the way.”

“Jessie. Thor, huh? You don’t look Nordic.”

He laughed and it made her smile, the sound loud and joyful, not low and subtle the way Alexi’s had been.

“Yeah. Sorry, it’s a force of habit when I’m talking to NASA guys. I guess I should have introduced myself as Hemi. Hemi Barrett. Thor’s my call sign and what I answer to. I’m part of the astronaut crew training for the first Cronus mission,” he said, stepping from the shadows and holding out his hand.

“You sound American but that name is Maori, right?”

“Yeah. On my mom’s side. She and my pops met in Hawaii and I was raised in LA.”

His strong jaw and dark stubble accentuated the fullness of his lips. She stared at his mouth for much longer than was acceptable, feeling a spark of instant attraction. She’d never had that before. Normally her sexual desire grew out of friendship with a man.

But this was different. He was different. And this was definitely lust.

His eyes were like melted dark chocolate, decadent and sinful. His skin was tanned and there were laugh lines around his eyes as well as a one-inch scar on his forehead above his right eye. There was also a birthmark around his right eye. The Maori people called those with these marks ngā kanohi ora o rātou mā kua wehe atu, which meant “the living faces of those who have gone on before us.” Many believed that the wearer had been marked by the gods for greatness.

He arched one eyebrow at her and she realized she must be staring at him, but she didn’t care. She had grown up surrounded by nature. Her first instincts were always driven by the laws of the wild. In the animal kingdom, and in life, she’d found she never regretted not backing down.

She’d spent time with a Maori family on one of her New Zealand adventures. She had also read the personnel files of each of the candidates. But a report couldn’t capture the personality of Hemi.

His lips curled in a half smile and he took a step closer. She put her hand out, settling it on his arm, feeling the strength in him under the fabric of his suit jacket. She flexed her fingers. All the men she’d known were lean from surviving in the wilderness. Not him. He was muscled, with coiled strength inside.

His handshake was firm but not meant to intimidate.

“Jessie Odell.” He said her name with a hint of awe. That meant he’d seen her show or read her books.

“Yes.”

“Wow. I used to watch your parents’ show when I was a kid,” he said.

Well, thank God for that. She was a part of so many people’s childhoods because of those shows. Her parents—marine biologists—had followed in the footsteps of Jacques Cousteau and had brought her along on their yacht as they filmed their adventures. She’d rather talk about her childhood than her last ascent up Everest. She needed to distance herself from that, which was why she was here in Texas, in a job that would be a cakewalk compared to what she’d done before.

“I bet you hear that a lot,” he said.

“Some. Other people want to hear what it was like to snowshoe in the Arctic.”

“That’s cool,” he said with a wink. “But I’ve been to space.”

She laughed and it surprised her. She hadn’t expected to laugh tonight, but he was right. She was in a room full of men and women who’d done something extraordinary, as well.

“What’s it like?” she asked.

“Buy me a drink and we can exchange stories. I want to hear about the time you were in the shark cage off Africa.”

“It’s an open bar,” she pointed out.

“Then you have nothing to lose,” he said.

“Okay, let’s go.”

They maneuvered through the crowd, where she saw her friend Molly Tanner, owner of the Bar T, dancing with her fiancé, Ace McCoy. Ace would be leading the long-term space mission to build a way station halfway between Earth and Mars.

“Ace has it all,” Hemi said, following her gaze.

“Does he?”

“Yeah. He’s got a great fiancée, he’s first crew member and leader of the Cronus mission and he’s got this training facility up and running.”

“Do you want all that?” she asked.

He shrugged. “That’s not really a first date kind of question.”

“This is a first date?” But she felt a little embarrassed that she’d asked too intimate a question. Usually, when she met people, they were on their way to do something daring, happy to answer intimate questions because there was a risk that not everyone would make it back alive. But he was different. She was curious about him. She’d spent a lot of time working around the world and was usually the outsider. People were used to her asking questions, and at times she forgot herself and followed her own curiosity.

“I’m hoping,” he said, with a wink.

That put her at ease a little bit. He had charm, she’d give him that. With his looks and body he probably didn’t have to work too hard to get women to fall for him. “We’ll see. I still don’t know what kind of story you’re offering in exchange for hearing about ten-year-old me and a great white.”

“The time I did a space walk and became untethered...”

“Obviously you made it back,” she said.

“Obviously, but it was pretty dicey for a little while. What’s your poison?” he asked as they got to the bar.

Yak butter tea. But she knew that wasn’t what he meant. “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“Ah, I don’t drink,” he said. “I have to keep my body in top condition. How do you think I’m doing?”

She let her gaze skim down his body. His shoulders were muscled, his broad chest tapered to a lean waist and long legs. She arched one eyebrow. “You look good, but it could be the cut of your clothes.”

He shook his head. “Play your cards right and I might let you see me out of them.”

She rolled her eyes at him. It was an over-the-top comment and he knew it. He ordered them each a cranberry juice and sparkling water, and then led the way to a high bar table off the beaten path.

When they got to the table, Hemi handed her one of the highball glasses. Their fingers brushed and a zing went up her arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake.

“To new friends and great adventures.”

“To new adventures.” She lifted her glass and took a sip.

“New adventures,” he repeated. He took a swallow and emptied half his glass.

“Why are you at this party?” he asked. “Are you one of the trainees?”

“No. I prefer to keep my feet on this planet. There are still so many areas I haven’t explored,” she said, but she knew it was a pat line, no longer true. She’d lost the spirit for adventure. But this man, tonight, awakened her sense of fun and excitement. She wasn’t too sure it would last, but fun sounded like a nice change of pace.

“Then what are you doing here?” he asked.

“I’m the survival training instructor. I’m here to make sure all of you spacemen and women know how to survive in any conditions.”

* * *

INSTRUCTOR.

It explained why someone like Jessie Odell was here. She was well known for her adventures and her television shows. So much excitement percolated amongst the trainees now that Ace had been cleared for preflight, and Dennis Lock, the deputy program manager for the Cronus program, had set their first mission for nine months from now.

“Good to know that they got the best,” he said. He had a bit of a fanboy crush on Jessie. She was gorgeous—tall and sexy—and she looked glamorous tonight. Her thick blond hair was pulled up in a twist at the back of her head, with a few tendrils falling to frame her face. Her eyes were the deep blue of the Pacific Ocean around the house he’d grown up in back in California. Her toned arms and long, strong legs were showcased by her silvery dress, and the plunging neckline revealed a hint of the curve of her breasts. “Like what you see?” she asked.

He nodded. “Most definitely. You clean up pretty good. But I think I like you better in a bikini.”

“I haven’t been in a bikini on screen since I was a teenager.”

“I was a teenager, too,” he said with a wink.

“Fair enough. So you were going to tell me about almost drifting off into deep space. Is that why you want to be a part of this mission? Did you see something that made you want to keep going?”

She’d put her forearms on the high table and linked her fingers together, and her long diamond earrings swung as she leaned forward. She watched him with those bluer-than-blue eyes and he realized that most people didn’t do this. They scanned the room or glanced at their phones. It had been a long time since someone paid such close attention to him.

“I suppose it is part of why I want to go back into space. But I would have wanted that even if I hadn’t become untethered.”

“How did it happen?”

“Lack of gravity and mechanical failure. The clip on my suit had a small flaw in it and when I lost my balance...it placed too much stress on it and it snapped.”

He remembered that moment when he’d felt the snap and started tumbling over, drifting away from the space station. Ace had been wearing a jet-propelled backpack and had come after him, but for about thirty seconds he was free falling into infinity. He’d never been so scared in his entire life, but he’d been cataloging the situation and trying to figure out how to direct his motion back toward the station.

She nodded. “I had a carabiner break one time when I was going up Annapurna in the Himalayas and started sliding down into a ravine. I used my ice pick to stop the descent. But you wouldn’t have had anything to grab on to. How did you get back?”

“Ace. He was close by and he came after me. I owe that man my life. Without him...if I’d been up there with anyone else, I’m not sure their reaction would have been as quick.”

“It’s good to have faith in your crew. There are maybe three people in the world I trust to always have my back in dangerous situations,” she said.

“Three? Well, I’ve got a lot of faith in my crew,” he said. “The ones I’ve been up with, at least. The new candidates I won’t know about until we’re up there.”

“Doesn’t that frighten you?” she asked. “That’s a bit like relying on luck.”

“Don’t knock luck. I’ve seen it serve you well,” he said. “That shark attack was incredible. I remember the first time I saw that episode—the network put up a warning at the beginning about its graphic nature. Honestly, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. What was it like?”

“It was dicey. The truth is, my dad saved me. You probably saw that on TV. The situation was a bit like yours. That cage had been reliable and we’d never had any problems with it, but there was a flaw in the steel that no one could have known about until the structure caved in. The shark lunged, clamped down on the bar and part of my leg...my dad sort of shoved me up to get me out of the way, but the shark got me anyway. Dad punched it hard, on the nose and...”

He put his hand over hers. She seemed fine about the incident. Talked about it the way he might describe falling off his bike when he’d been a kid, but he knew there was more to it than that. It must have been scarier than her tone revealed. “I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“Asking about it,” he said.

“It’s okay. You’re not the first. And it’s an old memory. Not as fresh as some others.”

A fresher near-death experience? He hadn’t really followed her career since he’d joined the Air Force to pursue the space program. “Want to tell me about it?”

She shook her head and then took a sip of her drink. “Definitely not.”

“Dance?”

“I’m not very good,” she said, but put her glass on the table.

“I am,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Really?”

“I always tell the truth.”

“Always? Really?”

“Yes. Even when I shouldn’t,” he said. “One of the things my dad drilled into me and my brothers when we were little. My mom is the one who insisted we learn to dance. She said women like to dance and men who won’t are missing out.”

She smiled. “Sound like good lessons.”

“They were,” he said.

The band started to play Blake Shelton’s “Sangria” and he took her hand, leading her to the dance floor. He pulled her into his arms, leaving a small gap between them. With one hand on her waist and the other holding one of hers, he started to guide her around the dance floor set up in the barn. He soon realized she knew how to dance. Her legs brushed against his and she watched him with the intensity she’d had when they’d been talking.

“Your mom did good,” she said.

“She did her best with four rowdy boys.”

“Four boys? That must have been some household. Where did you fall in the siblings?”

“Guess,” he said. Most people thought he was the firstborn because he had a strong type A personality, but all the Barrett boys did. There wasn’t one of them who didn’t think he could accomplish whatever he wanted.

“You’re confident, but I’m guessing from what you said about your parents that all the brothers are. You’re spoiled, too...so youngest.”

“Spoiled? What makes you think that?” he asked.

“You expect to get everything you go after,” she said.

“Well...that’s just because I’m good. Has nothing to do with being spoiled.”

“Yeah, right,” she said. “Was I right?”

“You were,” he said. “Most peg me for the oldest.”

“I can see that, but you don’t have that mantle of responsibility. I think if you were the oldest you’d never go to space and leave your family behind.”

“Wow. That cuts a little close.”

“I always tell the truth, too. Plus, I already know you’re a man with his future up in the stars.”

“I am. Did you want something else?”

“Like you said, that’s a little intense for a first date.”

“So this is a first date?” he asked with a wink.

“It might be.”

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Yeah. If there’s a first date, that means there’ll be more.”

“Let’s see how this one ends before we go making assumptions,” she said.

He liked her.

More than he’d expected from someone he had a fanboy crush on. He’d just seen her in the corner, standing alone, and he’d almost let her stay that way. But there had been something about the quietness of her that had drawn him across the room. Her long, gorgeous legs had helped him make the decision but he hadn’t imagined she’d be so real, so genuine, and when she looked up at him with those wide blue eyes, her pretty pink lips parted, she made him think of tangled sheets and long nights spent in each other’s arms.

“But I don’t think another date is a good idea.”

“Why not?”

As the music ended, she said, “Because I’m your instructor, so I think we should keep our relationship strictly professional. Thanks for the dance.”

He didn’t agree with that. Not at all. There was no reason they couldn’t be more than student and teacher. She stepped back as someone called his name. He turned to see who it was, and when he turned back she was gone.

2

JESSIE LET OUT a breath as she entered the gym that had been set up for martial arts training. She was happy that she’d escaped the party and the lights and music. She took her shoes off and let the feel of the mats under her feet ground her.

It was September, and this was just like starting school. When she’d been a kid she’d always wanted to go to real classes, but her parents homeschooled her from their yacht. She was excited about the prospect now.

She’d have preferred to go outside, but she wasn’t familiar enough with the terrain at the Bar T. She’d gone on a few hikes to plan survival training exercises for the candidates, but she wasn’t ready for a shoeless midnight run.

She left her high heels by the door and crossed to the locker room, where she changed into her white gi and fastened her well-worn black belt around her waist. Already she felt like she was breathing more deeply.

She could socialize, but it tired her out. Drained her.

Hemi. Thor. She loved how these astronauts all had call signs. Probably because so many of them had military training. Although Jessie knew that some of this batch of candidates weren’t military—weren’t even NASA qualified. The missions were a joint effort between NASA and a civilian organization called Final Frontier.

She left the changing room and set her internal timer. She had learned to be very good at monitoring time over the years. She jogged around the perimeter of the gym, keeping her breathing steady and letting her mind drift.

For once her thoughts didn’t go to Everest and Alexi. Instead, she pictured Hemi. His face as it was tonight. The smooth confidence of a man who had trained and achieved as much as he had, but also the passion in his eyes. He loved his job. That had been clear.

But she wasn’t analyzing him as a trainee right now. She saw, instead, the birthmark under his eye. Thought about the meaning and how Maori folklore suggested he’d been touched by the gods.

She stopped running after fifteen minutes and started going through the different tae kwon do forms that she had learned as a child on her parents’ boat, kicking and punching her way through routines that had Korean names like taegeuk sam jang and taegeuk il jang.

“So this is where you got to.”

She finished her forward slicing kick and dropped back into ready position before turning to look at the shadowy doorway. Hemi.

“I can only do parties for so long,” she said.

“Me, too.” He stepped into the light.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I have to attend a lot of them because of my job but I haven’t shut one down in years. You practice tae kwon do?”

She nodded.

“Mind if I join you for a little sparring?” he asked.

Sparring...

“Sure. I’m a third-degree black belt.”

“Fourth,” he said with a cocky grin. He toed off his dress shoes and tugged at his tie as he walked toward the locker room.

She put her head down, focusing on getting back to her center. Hemi rattled her. She’d come here...who the hell knew why she was in the gym tonight. What she’d thought she wanted to find had eluded her until he’d walked in.

She knew part of her was still grieving. Losing Alexi had been like losing a chunk of her soul. Her parents had said to give herself time. But how much? A part of her would always feel the emptiness of a world without him. But that was her old self. The woman who had found exhilaration in the next new adventure. Her father suspected she’d lost her courage, but her mother feared she’d lost her heart and soul.

Why, then, was she getting that old tingle from being around Hemi? He wasn’t doing anything overt...well, he had tracked her down and now he wanted to spar with her.

Was it sex?

Wouldn’t it be convenient if this feeling was just lust? Maybe she could have a fling with him. Strictly speaking, it wasn’t against the rules, though a part of her did feel like her judgment would be compromised slightly if they slept together. But it might be too late—he was already different from just any student in her mind. He had those big muscly arms and that laugh. She couldn’t forget that laugh.

She heard him reenter and he gave her a salute as he started jogging around the gym, loosening up the same way she had.

The last time she’d been alone with a man like this, she’d been with Alexi. The realization hit her hard. He was gone. She wanted to leave.

She turned and was halfway to the door when Hemi caught her wrist and drew her to a stop.

“I didn’t peg you as someone who would run,” he said.

She wasn’t. She never had been. There wasn’t a challenge Mother Nature could throw at her that would make her flinch, but this...being one-on-one with a man—a man like Hemi—it was too much tonight.

She was here to rebuild, not to start something...anything...physical with a man—a trainee.

“I’m not running,” she said at last, lifting her head to look into those dark brown eyes of his. They were fathomless. He revealed nothing in his gaze. His hold on her was light.

“Is it me?” he asked.

“A little,” she admitted. “You are coming on strong, but it’s more me. I’m just not sure that this is a good idea.”

“Are you sure it’s a bad idea?” he asked.

There was something light about Hemi. Something that drew her tired soul, and she knew that she wanted him to convince her to stay. So why the hell was she trying to leave?

“One match,” she said. “Then I go.”

“I think we should make a wager,” he said.

“Do you think you can beat me?” She was known for her skills and for her sheer ability to best any challenge put in front of her.

“Yup. So if I win...you give me that kiss you ran from earlier,” he said.

“What kiss? We were dancing,” she protested, but she was already assessing him. His strength and size would be her biggest obstacle. Not insurmountable, but still a challenge.

“The one I was planning to steal when the song ended,” he said. “What do you want if you win?”

“When I win... I’ll leave and you’ll stop pursuing me. Deal?”

“Deal,” he said, dropping her hand and then moving a few feet away and bowing to her.

“Ready?”

* * *

DODGING KICKS AND blocking punches was exactly what he needed. He’d been feeling edgy as he looked around the ballroom earlier. He knew he was one of the top contenders to be named to the inaugural Cronus crew in the next phase, but he also saw the talent there and knew that it wasn’t guaranteed. He was going to have to work hard and concentrate.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the ride. His parents had never been much on instant gratification. When someone wanted something, they worked hard, earned it and the family celebrated. It was a lesson that had stood Hemi well all his life.

He didn’t pull his punches because he could tell that Jessie wasn’t. And it was exactly what he needed. She didn’t have strength on her side; physically he had to be at least twice her size, and he worked out constantly to ensure his body was in peak condition. But she was quick and smart.

She had the best reflexes he’d encountered in a sparring partner in a long time.

She clipped him in the jaw with a front snap kick and dropped to ready position as soon as she’d made contact.

“Sorry.” She grinned, knowing she’d bested him. “I thought you’d see that one coming.”

He rubbed his jaw and shook his head ruefully. “I was distracted.”

“By what?”

Her. But that was just hormones...or was it? “I was thinking that I could see why you’re so good at surviving.”

“You can?”

“Yes. You think fast and are constantly assessing the situation.”

She nodded. “That’s one of the most important lessons. I’ll be talking to your group about that on Monday.”

“What could be more important than that?” he asked, watching as she carefully controlled her breathing.

“Not dying,” she said.

He laughed.

“It’s not funny.”

“I know. It’s just that Mom used to yell that after us when we’d go off together on our bikes... ‘Don’t do anything that will get you killed.’ We were always doing something...stupid, as Mom said.”

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess it did. It was hit or miss a couple of times.”

“Really? I’d have guessed your brothers would always have been trying to keep you safe.”

“Sometimes. But I was the baby of our family so they also used to push me. Ace said that’s one of the reasons I can take a lot of ribbing from the others on the team. I’m used to it.”

And he was. Usually nothing fazed him. He rolled with anything NASA or the trainers or doctors threw at him. But he was feeling...different from his usual attitude. The cosmos still awed him. There was so much out there they simply didn’t understand yet. He was a mission specialist with a focus on celestial bodies. Since the beginning of his military career he’d been pursuing a degree in the space-related field of radio spectrometry. His part of the Cronus mission would be to identify the matter that made up the new places they encountered.

“You’re looking scary there, Thor.”

He shook his head. “Have you ever done anything because it scared you? To prove that you could?”

She gave him a smile that lit up her face. Until that moment he hadn’t realized the other ones weren’t genuine. This one was.

“Everything I do is for that reason.”

He shook his head. “But you seem—”

“Brave, brazen, fearless?”

“Yeah.”

“How many times have those same words been applied to you?” she asked.

“Many. They also tend to add in foolish and devastatingly handsome,” he said, because this moment was too heavy. He didn’t want to admit to anything real. But he was committed to the truth. Only this time he wanted to dodge it.

She was his trainer; he wanted to seem like the only one who was overqualified for the mission. Not someone who doubted himself.

“I bet they do,” she said. “Well, it’s time for me to hit the showers. Thanks for sparring with me.”

“We aren’t done,” he said.

“Sadly we are. I beat you, Thor. So this is where I leave you.”

She had beaten him. “Rematch?”

“Not tonight,” she said.

It was then that he noticed the sadness that clung to her. She had hidden it well at the party. In her icy blond looks, most men—himself included—would just see the beauty. Not the woman beneath it.

Maybe it was the gi and the fact that she looked tired with her hair falling out of its elegant twist. But he saw that there was something she was running from. Maybe she needed a friend more than a lothario.

“You okay?”

She wrinkled her brow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged, then went to the water cooler and filled two paper cones. “You look...”

Sad? He knew he couldn’t say that to her. He wasn’t dumb when it came to women; he’d watched his parents interact most of his life. They were the strongest couple he knew.

“Like...?” she asked.

“Like you need a friend. Like maybe you want to talk.”

She seemed startled by that. And inside he smiled. He didn’t want to be predictable, and he realized that he had been until that moment.

“Sorry about earlier. It’s just that you’re drop-dead gorgeous and for a moment I reacted like a guy and not the gentleman I was raised to be.”

She shook her head. “You are smooth, Hemi. I’ll give you that.”

She called him by his name when she was being real with him. When she wanted distance she used his call sign. Interesting.

“So, want to talk?”

“Not really,” she said. “I’m just...”

She took the cone of water from him, downed it and then crumpled the paper in her hands before meeting his gaze again. Her gaze was direct and he thought for a moment that she could see clean into his soul. What did she see in there? He’d been ignoring that part of himself for a while now. Concentrating on working out, doing everything he could to be physically ready for the fight for a spot in Cronus. But he wasn’t spiritually ready.

“Can you keep this between us?” she asked.

“Who would I mention it to?” he countered. “I’m not a gossiper.”

“I mean...can this just be us, not trainer and trainee?”

He nodded. “I’ve got your back. Always, Jessie.”

She looked over at him. “You surprised me again.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. Most people don’t think I need someone at my back. They see me on television venturing to extreme places, and think I’m the ultimate loner,” she said. “Most don’t realize that I have a team climbing with me.”

“Honestly, there is something lonely about you, which is how I knew that you needed someone at your back.”

* * *

JESSIE HAD HER first inkling that this was a bad idea as she followed Hemi out of the gym and down the trail to the lake. He intrigued her. He was big and brash but underneath that muscled exterior beat the heart of a man who knew how to listen. A man who, despite his self-aggrandizing ways, was more than just ego.

She liked him.

That was why this was a bad idea.

The sex thing she could handle. Lust was just a physical reaction to someone. She wanted him, and if they fell into bed together it would be a physical thing. But if she liked him and lusted after him...she wasn’t ready for that.

The Bar T Ranch consisted of a sprawling house, barns and two bunkhouses. A good five-minute walk away were the new buildings that housed the Cronus candidates and some of the instructors. Candidate housing was in a series of four converted bunkhouses built around a courtyard. Everyone had their own small one-bedroom apartment with a living area and bathroom, and everyone shared a large kitchen. The apartments weren’t too bad, but Jessie felt lucky that she’d been given a separate cottage.

All of this did nothing to distract her from Hemi. She should turn around and go to her cottage.

Should.

But she wasn’t going to.

It had been a long time since someone new had come into her life and intrigued her the way Hemi had.

“You’re awfully quiet,” he said.

“Just assessing your trail skills.”

Yeah, like he was going to believe that.

“How am I doing?”

“Good,” she said. “I noticed you keep to the center of the path, which is good—doesn’t leave any trail to be followed.”

“Learned that playing hide and seek with my brothers,” he said. “The spot I was thinking of is right up here.”

They’d both changed out of their gi into NASA Cronus mission sweatshirts and exercise pants. And she’d put on a pair of well-worn hiking shoes that she’d stored in her locker a few days earlier. The shoes were very different from the ones purchased new for her Everest climb. The one she’d been on when Alexi’s strength had failed him and her skills hadn’t been up to the challenge of saving him.

She sighed.

“Here we are,” Hemi said, reaching back and holding out his hand to her. “It’s a little tricky to navigate in the dark.”

She put her hand in his. She’d learned a long time ago to take assistance in new terrain. Though she’d been out here with Ace a few days ago, she still didn’t know the land as well as she’d like. But she would. Terrain was her area of expertise. A lot of the training she’d be doing with the astronaut candidates would be in temperature-controlled rooms, but she also had a few excursions planned for them. Surprises that she’d tailor to meet the strengths and weaknesses of the candidates. They needed to be able to react to any situation.

The lake was big enough to supply water for the ranch and the neighboring city of Cole’s Hill, and a rough path along the edge joined the main ranch buildings and the Cronus facility. A motion sensor lamp flicked on as they stepped onto the wooden dock that pushed out into the water.

“Here we go,” he said, drawing her toward two Adirondack chairs positioned side by side on the dock. She stood there with the breeze on her face and the sound of the water in her ears. She could see the moon’s reflection in the ripples as they sat. He smelled of a crisp, expensive aftershave and something masculine, a musk that she was sure was all his own. Something she’d remember long after this job was over and he was gone.

Her father had taught her to classify everything. Touch, scent, sight. She used all of those things to survive.

“The first time I came out here... I was surprised at how noisy it was. I expected it to be quiet—and it is quieter than the city, but not silent.”

She smiled over at him. “City boy?”

“Born and bred. I’m at home in the water because I grew up in California, and there isn’t a mountain trail I can’t climb, but this...this feels foreign. The cows, the insects. Everything is different here.”

“I know what you mean. Most of my childhood was spent on my parents’ research yacht or on the island that we called home. I’m good at identifying poisonous insects and avoiding spiky plants that are lethal, but this is different.”

He stretched his arm out behind her on the back of her Adirondack chair. He wasn’t quite touching her shoulder but she felt his body heat on this cool September evening.

“What scares you, Jessie?”

It was an oddly probing question from someone she’d just met, but considering that she needed to know his fears, she was tempted to answer. Her job for the Cronus missions was to find weaknesses and exploit them to see how far the candidates could be pushed until they broke. And making this about her job made it easier for her. It had been a long ten months since Alexi’s death and she wanted to pretend she’d healed, but she hadn’t. She knew it by the way she was simultaneously drawn to Hemi and driven to hide from him.

“A situation that I can’t control,” she said. “I know that control is an illusion but I have techniques for dealing with most of them. Still, there are a few things that elude me.”

“Like what?”

“People.”

“People?”

“Yes, you can’t rely on them,” she said. “No one really knows how they will react until they are forced into challenging circumstances. I’ve been in more extreme places than most and there are still times when I’m not sure what someone will do next.”

“Like what?” he asked again.

“Like this,” she said, tired of resisting herself and needing to see exactly what Hemi was after. She leaned over and kissed him.

His lips were firm and his breath minty fresh. She felt the dart of his tongue rub over her lips before it pulled back. She tilted her head, deepening the kiss as excitement flowed through her. It had been a long time since she’d experienced this. She felt alive.

She’d been running from him since he’d come up to her at the party. Because he’d immediately made her feel again.

It wasn’t deep—hell, how could it be? They’d just met. But it was something and she wasn’t ready for it. She had to find a moment to breathe.

Breaking the kiss, she took off her shoes before standing up. She looked at him. He watched her silently with those big, dark eyes of his. They were immeasurably deep, like the sea over the Mariana Trench. And that was okay. He wasn’t anything to her but a man.

She pulled off her Cronus sweatshirt and pants, leaving her standing in her underwear and bra, before she turned and dove into the lake. The water surrounded her and she found the peace she was never going to find on the land.

3

HEMI WATCHED THE moonlight reflecting first off the lake, then off the woman who was swimming in it. She’d been breathtaking in just her underwear. She was complex, and nothing had helped him understand her better. He had pushed a little too hard because that was his personality. He lived right at the edge, always testing the boundaries to get where he needed to go, and he wasn’t about to stop now.

He stripped down to his boxers and jumped into the water after her. It was cold at first, making goose bumps spread over his body. The water was refreshingly brisk, but his body adjusted to it as he swam. Jessie stayed just out of reach, diving under the surface and swimming, finally surfacing and treading water a few feet from him. He trod water next to her for a moment and then shifted to float on his back.

It reminded him of his space walks. How he’d floated there, outside the International Space Station, looking for something in the inky darkness of the cosmos that he couldn’t find. Still hadn’t found.

He stared up at the constellations, naming them all in his head, identifying the stars and acknowledging to himself that he still didn’t know what it was he reached for. Why he was never close to finding it.

“What’s your fear, Hemi? What is it that makes you keep going, after your near miss?” she asked.

He shrugged. He didn’t mind asking for her darkest secrets but sharing his own was something else. How could he put into words the emptiness that had been inside him for so long? That would make him seem weak, and he was Thor, mighty, unvanquished, or at least that was how his astronaut brothers and sisters saw him.

“Hemi?” she asked again, her voice hypnotic. As he had always imagined the call of the sirens that led sailors astray.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I keep going up into space and trying to beat records. I train and look for new missions that challenge me and force me to do things others haven’t achieved but there is still—” He turned his head and looked over at her. She continued to tread water next to him.

Her long blond hair looked dark plastered against her skull. Some tendrils clung to her bare shoulders, one looping over the strap of her bra. The thin flesh-colored fabric was transparent now that it was wet and he noticed that her nipples were hard. He was trying to be cool and not focus on the fact that she was nearly naked and less than an arm’s length away from him.

He struggled to continue their conversation rather than swim closer to pull her into his arms. He wanted to feel their limbs entwined and the warmth of her body against his.

“What?” she asked.

“Something empty inside,” he said at last. Damn, he’d meant to keep that to himself, but there it was. The ugly truth he hid from the world—and sometimes from himself. “I don’t know what it will take to fill it.”

He’d probably have been smarter not to admit this to an instructor who would be evaluating him.

“That’s what makes you dare,” she said at last, flipping her body to float on her back next to him, her arms spread wide at her sides. “I have the same emptiness inside of me.”

“You do?” he asked, his voice deeper and huskier. Somehow, her admission turned him on even more than he already was. She was blunt at times and that honesty of hers was a powerful aphrodisiac. Her hair floated around her head and he couldn’t help glancing again at nipples, which were still visible though the cotton of her bra, and looking even harder.

He reached for her, water droplets cascading off his skin, but at the last second he let his arm drop. She was talking to him. Sharing with him as a friend. He couldn’t turn this sexual.

But his raging hard-on was making it difficult for him to pay attention to anything other than how she looked.

Maybe she was a siren.

That would explain the spell she had cast over him.

“Everyone does. Most try to ignore it with routines and by filling their lives with stuff, but some people can’t ignore it.”

“Like whatever made you sad earlier?”

She went still, her hands no longer sculling the water.

“Yes. Like that.”

“What was it?”

“My climbing partner and fiancé, Alexi. He wanted things...that even he was afraid to admit.”

“Like you? Are you afraid to admit what you want?” Hemi asked. Again, so much easier to turn the spotlight on her.

“Like me,” she admitted. “Which is why I’m here trying to teach you and the other candidates all I know about surviving in hostile environments. Maybe that is what I need to finally feel some peace.”

“I hope it works for you,” he said.

“You do?” she asked.

“Yes. I like you, Jessie. I want you to be happy.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know, right? But there it is. When you left the party I was like...well, a typical guy and I thought screw it. If Jessie doesn’t want me then I don’t want her.”

She drifted, putting a few feet between them, then cupped her hand on the surface. He had a second to recognize what she was doing before she pushed her hand through the water and a huge splash hit him in the face.

“Screw you, too, Thor,” she said, but there was a hint of laughter in her voice.

When he brushed the droplets from his face and looked around for her, she was gone.

The water was still except for the ripples caused by the breeze, and he floated on his back to give his legs a rest. He waited. No matter how at home she felt in the water, sooner or later she’d have to come up for air.

She did—behind him. He heard her surface a second before she once again arched a powerful spray of water at him.

He rolled over and used his water polo experience to do an American crawl toward her. Keeping his head above the surface, he saw the shock in her eyes as he approached. God, he wanted her.

He’d known it earlier.

Hell, he hadn’t followed her out of the party and to the gym and then taken her to the lake to cement a friendship. The desire that rocked through him was hot and hard. It made everything else fade away.

He stopped just as their bodies met, put his arm around her waist and used his legs to keep them above the water. Her arms snaked around his neck and her nearly naked breasts pressed against his chest.

His heart beat so loudly he was sure she could hear it, and his blood flowed heavily in his veins.

Her nipples were hard, poking into his chest. He tightened his grip, holding her to him as he looked into her eyes. They weren’t lost or lonely right now, and if he had one goal it was to make her forget whatever her pain was.

“You got me, Hemi,” she said, rubbing her fingers over his light stubble and then higher, tracing the birthmark around his eye.

She made him proud of the mark, though there were times growing up when he’d wished he didn’t have it.

“Do I?” he asked. “I think I might be able to hold you for this moment, but I’m far from catching you, Jess.”

“Jess? I don’t believe I gave you permission to call me that,” she said.

“Lady, we’re nearly naked in a lake together. I’m pretty sure you’ve given me permission,” he said.

“For what?” she asked, her tone challenging.

What was going on in that head of hers? She’d said earlier that she was lonely, admitted to what he had already guessed, but now she didn’t seem lonely. It was as if being in the lake had grounded her.

The way that he felt when he was in zero-g, even in the simulator. It made everything clearer when he couldn’t control even the simplest things. Was it the same for her?

“Another kiss. That’s the only thing I want from you right now,” he said. Her lips were full and wet from the lake and the water.

“One more kiss?” she asked. “I doubt that will satisfy either of us.”

“Agreed,” he said. “But it’s a start.”

She spread her fingers against the side of his face and ran her hand over his scalp until she held the back of his head. She drew him forward and then scissored her legs to lift herself out of the water. Their lips met and an arch of pure electricity flashed between them.

His cock hardened further and nudged her thighs. His arm around her waist tightened, and for a second, he stopped treading water.

Then he tucked her against his side, lifted his mouth from hers and side-stroked them both to shallower water where he could put his feet down on the muddy bottom of the lake. The water came up to her shoulders.

Safe.

They were as safe as he could make them in this moment. Her strong legs slipped around his and he felt like he’d found something in Jessie that he hadn’t been aware he’d been searching for.

It was the last thought he had before he lowered his head, brushing his lips over hers again.

A jolt of adrenaline and lust went through him again and he tangled one hand in her wet hair, pulling her head back so he had a better angle for the kiss. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, feeling her tongue brush over his. Her hand on his head tightened, the other stroked his chest. She squeezed his pectoral muscle before letting her hand drift to his hip. She reached behind him, cupping his butt and drawing him closer to her.

He pulled his head from hers and looked down at her. Her eyes were half-closed, her lips swollen and parted. Her hair drifted out behind her on the surface of the water. And he felt something inside him change.

He couldn’t identify it but a part of him knew this kiss was different. Jessie was different. He held her with one arm around her waist and lifted her slightly until her breasts were revealed.

He caught his breath, watching her as she put her hands on his shoulders and then arched in his arms.

Her breasts were thrust upward and forward to him, and he groaned, lowering his head toward one of her nipples. She lifted one hand, pushing it through his wet hair as he licked her nipple and suckled at it through the flimsy bra.

Her legs came up around his waist, and she used her strength to hold herself wrapped around him.

The tip of his erection rubbed against her center and he heard her breath catch. She moaned, and the birds on the shore answered the sound. They were one with each other and the lake.

She slipped her arms around his neck, pulling close so that he couldn’t tell where his body ended and hers began. She awakened a hunger in him for so much more than just kisses. But he never wanted to lift his mouth from hers.

He caressed her long back. She had a lean torso with a nipped-in waist. He squeezed her hips and slid his hands lower to cradle her behind. To be honest, her figure was the first thing he’d noticed about her at the party. Her ass was world-class and he’d wanted to cup her cheeks and hold her against his body. And now he could.

His tongue tangled with hers and she sucked on it before leaning back, loosening her arms so she could rest her forehead against his. Her eyes were closed and each of her exhalations brushed over his jaw and neck. She returned her hands to his shoulders as she opened her eyes and he felt her gaze searching his.

It was as if they were made for each other. She was taller than most women and fit him better.

He liked the feeling of her pressed against him. He ran his fingers along the small of her back, saw the gooseflesh spread on her arms and felt her nipples tighten even more against his chest.

She made him forget everything else.

He shifted his hips and rubbed himself against her. The tip of his cock started to slide inside of her. He pulled his hips back before he went any further. Damn.

He didn’t want to have to think, because she felt so good in his arms, but he lifted his head before the push of lust drove him any further. He was afraid to speak and break the magic of this moment. Of this night.

In that moment he had his answer. He had to talk to her. This woman wasn’t his for just one night. They were both on the Bar T Ranch working at the Cronus facility for the next six weeks.

He couldn’t screw her and then pretend nothing had happened, because she was different. She made him different.

He put his forehead on hers and closed his eyes, thinking of anything that would cool the lust raging through him. He couldn’t just be; he needed to be better.

“Are you on the Pill?” he asked.

He was healthy as a horse and tested often for everything under the sun. He was pretty sure that Jessie was healthy, as well, so at issue for him was the fact that he’d be leaving for a long-term mission in space. He didn’t want to leave behind any surprises. Not because he got carried away in the lake with Jessie.

“What?”

“Are you on the Pill?” he asked.

She wedged her arm between them and he let her go. His body was cooling down rapidly now that she was a few feet from him.

“I am. But damn, how did that escalate so quickly?” she asked. “I’m not... I can’t... I... Fuck. I’m sorry, Hemi. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m not really myself.”

He nodded.

Be cool.

But he didn’t feel cool. He was on fire for her. Obviously her reaction was helping to give him some perspective, but another part of him wondered why something that had felt so damned right to him was making her run away.

She did that a lot, he realized.

She functioned best by retreating when she didn’t want to deal with something—or, more specifically, someone.

Him.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said. “I know it’s not okay and I turned you on and then—”

“We turned each other on, Jessie. I don’t know how things got that hot that quickly, but they did. No denying it.”

She nibbled on her lower lip and he closed his eyes. Watching her was only keeping him in a state of semi-arousal. He turned and waded toward the dock. He heard her swimming behind him but didn’t allow himself to look at her until he’d forced his wet body into the gym pants he’d discarded minutes ago.

He could tell she was behind him, getting dressed, and only when he heard her sit down did he turn to face her. She had retreated inside of herself again and he knew he had to let her go.

She stood up as he reached for his shoes, and their hands bumped. They were so close to each other, he couldn’t help himself. He put his hands on her jaw, feeling the wet strands of her hair against the backs. He traced the shell of her ear as he leaned in and kissed her. Not with raging passion but with affection. He kissed her with all the longing in his soul because walking away from her wouldn’t be as easy as he knew it should be.

They’d just met, but it didn’t feel like that. He wanted to say he knew her but he knew only what she’d let him see—and probably a few things she hadn’t meant to reveal.

“I’m sorry things got carried away.”

“I’m not. I thought...well, I’m not ready for this, Hemi. I have a class to teach and you’re going to be one of my students and...”

“You don’t need one of your pupils all hot for teacher. I get it.”

She put her hands on his chest and then slid them around his waist, hugging him close and resting her head right over his heart. He struggled to keep his heartbeat from going wild. He didn’t want to reveal that holding her made him hot.

“I’m sorry.”

She pulled away from him and picked up her shoes, walking up the dock and toward the instructors’ cabins. He followed her. His father had drilled it into him that a gentleman always saw a lady home.

He kept his distance, though, because he knew she wanted to be alone.

He’d let her go. He was here for a reason. His sole determination and focus should be on getting onto the crew of the first Cronus mission.

But as she climbed the two steps to the porch of her cabin and unlocked the door, she glanced back over her shoulder at him. He stood there. Waiting.

There wasn’t anything for either of them to say.

He didn’t understand, couldn’t explain it, but swimming tonight had been the closest thing he’d felt to getting into a rocket and being shot into space.

A woman had made him feel that.

A woman who wanted to keep her distance from him.

“Good night.”

“Good night, Hemi.”

She went inside and he waited until he saw a light before turning back toward his own quarters. He glanced up at the moon, seeing how it followed him all the way back to his room. He wanted to blame his lack of sleep on the brightness of the moon, but he knew it was Jessie who kept him awake.

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