KIDS ON THE DOORSTEP

Renee closed the door and paced her small living room.

She twisted her hands in agitation, not quite sure what she’d hoped would happen just now, but definitely disappointed that nothing at all had happened.

Yet the very fact that she’d looked into his eyes and felt a tingle zing from her stomach to her feminine parts made her extremely wary. She wasn’t supposed to be attracted to John Murphy. The man had complicated her life in a way that should make him Public Enemy No.1 in her eyes, but she was slowly seeing him in a different light.

And that was not good. Better to keep the battle lines firmly drawn. They were not on the same side. They were simply being civil to one another for the sake of the kids.

Cop on Loan

She opened her door to a tired-looking cop.

He couldn’t have had more than a few hours’ sleep, but there he was, wearing the faded blue jeans and dark T-shirt that appeared to be his standard off-duty wardrobe.

Jasmine looked past Tony to the truck parked at the kerb with a mattress and box spring in the back and a giant dog in the cab.

“That’s your dog?”

“I told you he was big.”

“That’s not big. That’s economy size.”

He laughed and she felt the impact of the unexpected transformation. He was surprisingly attractive when he wasn’t being condescending or annoying.

“You’re sure about this? Having me move in?” he asked, the laughter fading from his face.

This was probably the last time he’d give her an out.

Her last chance to bail.

Kids On The Doorstep

by

Kimberly Van Meter
Cop On Loan

by

Jeannie Watt

www.millsandboon.co.uk

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Available in September 2010
from Mills & Boon® Special Moments™

The Texas Billionaire’s Bride

by Crystal Green

&

The Texas Bodyguard’s Proposal

by Karen Rose Smith

Kids on the Doorstep

by Kimberly Van Meter

&

Cop on Loan

by Jeannie Watt

The Texan’s Tennessee Romance

by Gina Wilkins

&

The Rancher & the Reluctant Princess

by Christine Flynn

Loving the Right Brother

by Marie Ferrarella

A Weaver Baby

by Allison Leigh

A Small-Town Temptation

by Terry McLaughlin

A Not-So-Perfect Past

by Beth Andrews

Kids On The Doorstep

by

Kimberly Van Meter

An avid reader since before she can remember, KIMBERLY VAN METER started her writing career at sixteen when she finished her first novel, typing late nights and early mornings on her mother’s old portable typewriter. Although that first novel was nothing short of literary mud, with each successive piece of work her writing improved to the point of reaching that coveted published status.

Kimberly, now a journalist, and her husband and three kids make their home in Oakdale. She enjoys writing, reading, photography and drinking hot chocolate by the window sill when it rains.

To the mothers of the world: raising children is the most important job we as adults will ever have, as they are our legacy and our future.

To my sister, Kristen, who wears the badge of motherhood with pride and inspires people to love without reservation, without judgement, without fear. She is a mama bear and a wonder to watch in action!

Chapter One

JOHN MURPHY HAD JUST STOKED the fire and returned to his well-worn leather chair with his newspaper in hand when an urgent knock at the front door had him twisting in surprise.

It was nearly ten o’clock at night and the rain was quickly turning to sleet. This storm was supposed to hit the California Sierra Nevadas pretty hard by dumping a load of snow in the high country and plenty of it even in the foothills, so anyone with any kind of sense knew better than to be out and about. A bad feeling settled in his gut. There was no one he could imagine who would venture into this storm without good reason.

“John? It’s me, Gladys.”

The sound of his neighbor’s voice, thin and reedy, alarmed him. It was too late for house calls of an ordinary nature and Gladys—after going through surgery a few days prior—should’ve been in bed resting.

He opened the door and Gladys offered him a weak and somewhat pained smile as she and three little girls were ushered in from the biting cold.

“What the hell is going on?” he asked yet immediately guided Gladys to his leather chair. “What in the Sam Hill are you doing out in this storm in your condition? You just had surgery, woman. Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“Don’t yell at her. It’s not her fault,” piped up the middle girl whose short stack of wild hair was matted to her head. The poor kid looked like a drowned pixie. She rubbed at her pert nose but stared John down with attitude. “Daddy didn’t stay long enough to listen that she was sick.”

John ran his hand through his hair. “And you are? And who’s your daddy?”

“We’re the Dollings and I’m Taylor,” the little tyke proclaimed, ignoring the nervous jostling from her older sister to be quiet. “Who are you?” she asked without hesitation.

“John Murphy,” he grunted in answer. “And your daddy?”

Gladys broke in with a grimace. “This is Alexis, Taylor and the little one is Chloe. Oh, John, it’s the most deplorable situation and I didn’t know what to do. Look at them, the poor chickpeas, they’re practically frozen to the bone and wearing nothing more than rags. I could throttle that irresponsible boy for this!”

“Throttle who?” John was growing more perplexed by the moment, but Gladys was obviously distressed enough without his blustering adding to it so he tried for patience. “Tell me what’s going on here.”

Gladys compressed her lips to a fine line. “My sister’s grandson, Jason, God rest her soul that she never saw how badly he turned out, just showed up on my doorstep with the girls, saying he couldn’t handle it anymore and he needed me to keep them for a while until he got back on his feet. More likely so that he can be footloose and fancy-free, is what I think but before I could talk some sense into him, he was gone.” Her gaze softened as she took in the children’s forlorn appearance but when she turned to him again, her expression was full of worry and embarrassment. “I didn’t know what to do. I don’t want to take them to the authorities. They are my family, even if only distantly.”

The littlest, she couldn’t be more than three he wagered, sneezed and he realized they were still standing there soaked. He went to the hall closet and returned with three blankets. Giving one to each girl, he told them to warm up by the fire while he tried making sense of things with Gladys.

“Start from the beginning,” he instructed in a low voice so as not to scare the kids. “Where is their father and when is he coming back? Or how about their mother for that matter? They have to have a mother somewhere.”

“Daddy said Mommy left us,” Taylor answered before Gladys could. John turned toward Taylor and she continued, bundled in the blanket, despite several attempts by her older sister to shush her. She glowered at her sister. “Well, that’s what he said.”

“It’s no one’s business,” the older one said, adding in a low tone, “Especially no stranger.”

John looked to Gladys. “He split? No number, nothing?”

“Nothing. He barely took time enough to push the girls out of the car with their bag and then was off again. I tried to stop him but he was too fast for me.” That last part came out accompanied by a trembling lip and John knew Gladys was ashamed of her weakened state. Under normal circumstances the older woman was like a hurricane but the last year had been rough on her and her age was starting to slow her down. He patted her knee in some semblance of comfort but he was certainly caught in a bad spot. It was clear Gladys was loath to involve the authorities but she wasn’t in any shape to care for the kids herself.

John eyed the older girl. “Alexis, right? I take it you’re the oldest?” She nodded warily. “How old are you?” he asked.

Alexis raised her chin. “I’m nine, almost ten. Taylor is five and Chloe is three.”

So incredibly young. Essentially abandoned. John was at a loss of what to do. The closest he’d ever come to babies or children were his nephews and they only visited on holidays. Frankly, he was about as equipped to deal with these kids as a dog was to teach a cat how to fetch. But he knew he couldn’t very well toss them out on their ears. Gladys had come to him for help even though the old girl was a little addled if she thought he was her best option. The girls stared up at him, waiting, and he realized he couldn’t just stand there scratching his head.

“You need to get out of those wet clothes. If you don’t already have pneumonia, you will by tomorrow,” he grumbled, wondering what he could possibly find to fit three little girls. “And then, I think we ought to call Sheriff Casey, she’ll know what to do for you guys.”

“We’re girls,” Taylor corrected him.

“Sorry. My mistake. You girls,” he said, moving to the phone.

Gladys stopped him with a hand on his arm, beseeching him silently as she said, “I know it’s what we should do but no one says we have to do it this very second. Let’s wait to make that call. Maybe Jason will be back tomorrow and everything will work itself out on its own. No sense in dragging in outsiders if we don’t have to.”

“You sure?” he asked, torn between wanting to make that call and wanting to reassure Gladys that everything was going to be fine. She nodded and his shoulders tensed even though he let out a gusty sigh. He turned to the girls. “Looks like you’re going to bunk here tonight until we get things figured out. Alexis, I need you to help your sisters get settled in. The little one looks about ready to fall over, she’s so tired. You been driving all night with your daddy?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought so. Your great-aunt Gladys is real tired. She’s not feeling good right now. What say we look at this problem with fresh eyes in the morning?”

“I guess.” Her arm went around the baby protectively. “Where are we gonna sleep?” she asked after giving the entire room a quick once-over as if assessing the space herself. “That couch over there is big enough, I s’pose.”

“There’s no need for you girls to curl up on the couch. You can sleep in the guest bedroom. There’s a bed big enough for the three of you. All right?”

“I seepy, Lexie.” The little one’s mouth stretched in a yawn so big it nearly knocked her over, then an awful, wet-sounding cough followed that John had a feeling needed antibiotics to clear up.

“She sick?” He gestured at the little one and Alexis picked up her baby sister as if to shield her, although as thin as all the girls were it just made the whole scene more pathetic and worrisome. “That cough doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s just a cough. She’ll be fine,” Alexis said, but there was something in those blue eyes that told him she was more worried than she wanted to let on and it made him wonder how long that baby girl had been making those wet, gurgling sounds in her chest. His gut reaction told him she needed a doctor. And he was rarely wrong when his instincts started to clang like cowbells. But he didn’t think it warranted a trip to the emergency so there wasn’t much he could do about it until morning. He shot Gladys a meaningful look and she gave an imperceptible nod telling him she knew where his thoughts were going and agreed.

“Time to hit the hay,” he said.

Gladys smiled her gratitude and sank a little farther into his chair as if it were swallowing her up and he shook his head at the circumstances. He’d always had a soft spot for lost critters and rehabilitating abused horses was part of his livelihood, but he never figured his tender side might catch him three lost little girls. “All right, Gladys, you ought to be in bed, too. You can take the other guest bedroom.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, but her expression filled with ill-disguised relief. “I don’t mean to be making trouble.”

He helped her out of the chair. “Who are you kidding, old woman. You’re nothing but trouble.”

His comment elicited a weak chuckle as she allowed him to walk her down the hall and into the cold bedroom. He got her settled with a few extra blankets and as he turned to leave so she could change and climb into bed, her voice stopped him at the door frame. “Thank you, Johnny. I know this isn’t your idea of a fun time. Tomorrow, we’ll get out of your hair. I’ll figure something out. It’s not your problem and I’m sorry for dumping it in your lap. I…panicked a little. I know I shouldn’t have but, oh, what a mess.”

He nodded but otherwise remained silent. Gladys was the closest thing he had to a mother. If she had a problem, it was his problem, too. “See you in the morning, Gladys,” he said and shut the door.

Returning to the living room where the girls remained, color returning to their cheeks as the fire warmed their frozen little bodies, Alexis ventured forward, surprising him with her question.

“Mister…” Alexis said hesitantly. “Before we go to bed do you got anything we could eat? Bread or something?”

“Let me guess…no dinner?”

Alexis gave a short shake of her head but didn’t elaborate. A curse danced behind his teeth as he picked up clearly what she hadn’t said. Probably missed more than a few meals here and there judging by the sharp points of their shoulders. Neglect was a form of abuse, too. He’d saved more animals from the brink of starvation than he cared to count but seeing the evidence of neglect in children made his stomach clench with disgust. This was why he kept himself apart from nearly everyone except for the handful of family he had. On the whole, most people disappointed and annoyed him. In this case, he went way past annoyed and straight into pissed off.

“Follow me,” he instructed, his voice gruffer than he intended and he winced inwardly as he saw the baby flinch, her rail-thin arms clutching at her sister’s neck. Ah hell…he cursed himself for scaring her. These kids were traumatized to varying degrees but he could see the baby was particularly jumpy. He needed to treat them as he would a traumatized horse. Voice calm yet firm. Trying again, he said, “Let’s see what we can rustle up.”

He walked to the kitchen and flipped the light as he went. Reaching into the fridge he pulled out the beans and rice that he’d made earlier in the day.

Alexis had set the baby down to come and peer into the pots as he put them on the stove to reheat. “What’s this?” she asked, her eyes wary.

“Beans and rice. All I got on such short notice. Take it or leave it.”

Chloe scrambled to the table and climbed into the chair despite the fact that it was way too big for her small frame. The thick oak chair nearly swallowed the toddler but she didn’t seem to care as she eyed the pots with blatant desire. “I like beans,” she said.

Taylor joined her sister. “Me, too.”

John looked to Alexis but she was too busy checking out her surroundings. When she took her tentative spot at the table, he surmised that beans and rice were okay with her.

He grabbed three bowls, heaped a mound of rice and then dumped a ladleful of beans on top and handed the girls their dinner.

They shoveled the food into their mouths without reservation and as one bite cleared the spoon, they were digging in for the next. He wanted to ask when they’d eaten last but a part of him didn’t want to know. It would just intensify the burn that was already stoking his temper.

He decided to keep them talking in the hopes that the food would distract them into divulging some details about their situation. “So, where you girls from?”

“Arizona,” Taylor answered, scooping the last of her beans onto her spoon with her fingers. She looked to him with her empty bowl, her small tongue snaking out to lick her lips. “Is there more?”

Alexis looked up from her bowl. “Don’t be a little piglet.”

Taylor shot Alexis a scowl. “I’m no piglet. But I’m still hungry.”

John smiled and took Taylor’s bowl. “There’s plenty more where that came from. I made extra this time around.”

He handed Taylor her refilled bowl and focused on Alexis who seemed intent on her supper yet John got the sense that she was covertly taking everything in.

“What’s your mom’s name?” he asked.

Alexis ignored John’s question and, noticing that Chloe had stopped eating, pushed her bowl away. “We’re tired. Can we go to bed now?”

“Chloe’s not finished with her supper,” he said.

Alexis squared her jaw but remained silent. He wondered what was going through her head.

Sighing, he decided this battle wasn’t worth fighting. He wasn’t going to get any answers tonight. He was looking into the face of a child who knew something about keeping secrets. He hated to think of what the kid was hiding from. “All right, no more questions. Bedtime.”

The ranch house was plenty big enough for three small, uninvited guests and an elderly companion but the house rarely had so many people milling around, not since he and Evan were kids and their mom had once rented the extra rooms out to help make ends meet.

He gave them each one of his T-shirts to sleep in and after they’d changed in the adjoining bathroom, they ran to the bed.

Alexis helped Chloe up and Taylor climbed up by herself.

“You need anything else?” he asked gruffly.

“Mister—”

“John,” he corrected Chloe.

“Mr. John, do you have a mommy here?”

“A mommy?”

Alexis clarified. “She means do you have a wife?”

He shook his head. “No. Just me and the horses.”

Taylor, who had already snuggled into the pillows, sat up with a gap-toothed grin. “Horses?”

“That’s right. This is a horse ranch. I’ve got about ten stabled right now. Why? You like horses?”

Taylor nodded. “Can I see them tomorrow?”

He didn’t want to make promises. The first order of tomorrow would be to call the authorities. “We’ll see.”

Clicking off the light, he closed the door but not before catching a glimpse of Alexis’s face turned to the window, an incredibly sad expression on her young profile.

He suspected that little girl felt responsible for her sisters but there was only so much a child could do. It wasn’t right. But it happens. That was something he knew well. He just hated seeing it because it dredged up a litany of feelings he’d buried a long time ago. Something about that little girl’s expression poked and prodded at the tender spot in his heart in the same way an animal did that everyone else would rather give up on than save.

And to be honest, he didn’t know how he felt about that but he suspected his quiet life was about to get noisy.

Chloe coughed, the sound worrying him. No matter what else happened tomorrow, at the very least he was taking that baby to the doctor.

RENEE DOLLING DROVE SLOWLY down the dirt driveway, glancing once again at the address she’d scratched on a piece of paper before leaving Arizona, and prayed that Jason’s great-aunt hadn’t moved in the ten-plus years since she’d last seen the old woman. From what she remembered, Gladys Stemming was a mouthy one although harmless. But then, Renee had only met her once and who knew what she was like now.

She’d come here as a last-ditch effort. She’d been to all the usual places Jason used to frequent in their neck of the woods in Arizona and had come up empty. Far as Renee knew, Gladys was Jason’s only living relative so it served to reason, he might’ve taken the kids there before he split. If they weren’t here…

Think positive. You’ve gotten this far, don’t give up now.

She went to the door and knocked, the absolute stillness of the countryside unnerving her. She knocked again, harder than the first time but the sound just echoed into the inky dark. She glanced around, noted the absence of a vehicle as well as any other sign of civilization and fought the wave of despair. She didn’t even know if this was where Gladys still lived. Okay. Focus. Look for some kind of sign that she does, Renee instructed herself so she didn’t dissolve into a puddle of frustrated tears. Walking across the short porch, she peered into a window and saw the lumps of furniture but nothing that might tell her who lived there.

She rubbed her arms briskly. She’d forgotten how cold it got here. Stomping her feet to keep the circulation moving, she caught the shadowed outline of the mailbox at the end of the driveway. Climbing into the car, she drove to the edge of the road and pulled open the mailbox to feel inside.

Bingo.

Pulling a stack of mail, she glanced at the address and nearly went weak with relief. Gladys Stemming. She still lived here. But even as she thumbed through the hefty stack her elation was short-lived. Apparently, it’d been at least a week since the mail was picked up, which could mean the old woman hadn’t been home for a while. Replacing the mail, she chewed her bottom lip. She’d have to come back tomorrow, maybe go into town and ask around. Somebody was bound to know where the old woman was and perhaps, if Gladys had them, her children.

Putting the car into drive, she looked down at the bedraggled and ugly stuffed rabbit that had belonged to Taylor. Renee had found it, abandoned, at their old house after she’d gotten out of rehab. That was four months ago. She’d been searching for him and the girls ever since. Renee didn’t much care where Jason went—heaven help him if she managed to get her hands around his neck for this latest stunt—but she needed her girls.

Tears pricked her eyes again but she sniffed them back. She was close. She could feel it.

A fresh flood of anger followed. Damn you, Jason. Where the hell have you taken my kids?

Renee reluctantly drove away, refusing to believe that her children were far, that Jason had taken them to a place where she’d never find them. She tried to ignore the guilt that rose to slap her in the face whenever she let herself remember that she was the first one to walk out on their children.

It wasn’t her proudest moment but hitting rock bottom usually isn’t. Admitting to herself she was an alcoholic trapped in a loveless marriage was a tough pill to swallow, and even as she was committed to sobriety the price had been pretty steep.

Ten long years of missteps and mistakes with Jason, a man who had less depth than a cartoon character. It was enough to make her want to hide in shame over every bad decision she and Jason had put their girls through but she’d vowed things would be different once she got out of rehab.

Only to find them gone. Renee imagined Jason made the decision to take off shortly after she told him she wanted a divorce. He’d known this was the best way to hurt her. And damn, he knew her well.

Every day without her girls felt like knives in her heart.

Chapter Two

THE FOLLOWING MORNING just as he always did, John rose at 5:30 a.m. to start the day and for a split second, as he set the coffee to percolating and stoked the coals in the fireplace to a fresh blaze with kindling and a small piece of seasoned oak, he almost forgot that he wasn’t alone. But when a person had been a bachelor as long as John there were some things that didn’t slip your notice. Such as the prickling feeling at the back of your neck when you know someone is behind you, staring. He turned and found Taylor standing in the archway, scratching her leg with her toe, her eyes fixed on him.

“Go back to bed. It’s too early.”

“You’re up.” She pointed out as she scrubbed at her pixie nose with her palm, her gaze wide and expectant.

“I’m a grown-up. You’re still a kid—” practically still in diapers “—and kids need their rest. Don’t you want to grow up big and strong?”

She thought about it for a second before nodding but then said, “But I can’t rest if I’m not sleepy. Can you, Mr. John?”

Not really. He didn’t much see the point in lounging in bed if he wasn’t tired, either. But if he didn’t send her back to bed with her sisters, he’d have to find something to entertain her with and he didn’t have a clue as to how to entertain a five-year-old little girl. He eyed her speculatively. “You hungry?”

She nodded eagerly. “Are we having more of them beans?” she chirped as she followed him into the kitchen. “They were real good. You’re a good cooker, Mr. John.”

“I don’t know about that, and stop calling me Mr. John. Just John, okay?”

“Okay,” Taylor agreed easily, plopping into the chair she’d taken last night. “What’s for breakfast, then?”

“Oatmeal.” He caught her expression falter and he added quickly, “Or eggs. Take your pick.”

“Eggs, please. I like them all mixed up. Do you like them that way? Chloe doesn’t like eggs so maybe she could have the oatmeal. But me and Lexie like eggs a lot. Chloe didn’t like the way Daddy made his eggs, she said they tasted funny. I didn’t think so but sometimes he made her a special kind. Maybe she didn’t like just his special eggs because when Lexie made eggs she ate ’em right up. Do you make them special, Mr. John?”

The dizzying speed of the child’s twisting and nearly nonsensical dialogue almost had John staring in confusion as he tried to decipher even a quarter of what she’d said but something in that monologue had struck a chord of alarm. “Special eggs, Taylor?”

“Yeah, sometimes he made Chloe her own eggs but—” Taylor’s little face scrunched in distaste “—they always made her tummy hurt afterward. Maybe Daddy wasn’t a very good cooker.”

“Maybe not,” John murmured, though he was starting to feel a little sick to his stomach himself. “How come your Daddy always made Chloe her own special eggs?”

Taylor shrugged. “I dunno. But Daddy yells at Chloe a lot.”

“Why’s that?”

“He just does.” Taylor’s expression dimmed with sadness and John felt something in his chest pull. Her voice dropped to a scared whisper. “She gets lots of spankings.”

Chloe was hardly more than a baby. No one should be raising a hand to her little body.

John stiffened at the anger pouring through his veins at what he was hearing and moved to the fridge to grab the eggs. He’d heard enough and by the time he filled the sheriff’s ear with what he’d learned, there was no way in hell those kids were going back to that son of a bitch. He offered a smile to the little tyke even though he was itching to put his fist through the wall, and went through the motions of cooking up a batch of mixed-up eggs that weren’t special in any way.

GLADYS DIDN’T LOOK VERY GOOD, John thought as he brought her a cup of coffee.

“You sure you don’t want to go see that doc of yours?” he asked.

She waved away his concern. “I’m fine. Just a little winded is all from the excitement last night. I just don’t know what to do about those poor babies. I don’t even know if they’ve been in school or what kind of lives they’ve been living. I’m just beside myself.”

“What about the mother? Do you know where she might be? Maybe I could place a few calls.”

Gladys made a look of distaste. “Oh, don’t waste your time with that one. I only met her once but she never made much of an impression. A little snooty and standoffish if you ask me and we never really hit it off. Not that I was close with Jason, mind you, but at least he was family. I’ve known him since he was a boy. Never had much of a character. Nothing like you and Evan. If you boys had been anything like Jason your mama would’ve lost the ranch the moment the tax man had started calling. No…I knew from the time he was a young man he wasn’t going to amount to much but I’d hoped I was wrong. There’s no satisfaction in being right in this instance.”

“So you think the mother just took off or something like Jason did?”

Gladys sighed. “I don’t know but what kind of mother would leave her babies behind? I can only imagine,” she said, her voice catching as the ghost of an old pain reappeared.

John agreed privately but allowed the quiet to dull the edge of Gladys’s long-ago loss. Even after all this time Gladys felt the agony of her stillborn son. He supposed that was a hurt that never truly healed. Not even with decades of time as a balm.

“So what do we do?”

Gladys looked at him sharply then sighed. “We? Oh, Johnny, this isn’t your problem. I’ll figure something out.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “You’re in no shape to be tending to three little kids. And frankly, I don’t care what you say, I think you need to see your doctor. That surgery might’ve taken more out of you than you realize.”

Gladys was silent for a moment and John had a feeling she was wrestling with her pride, which was no small thing. She wasn’t accustomed to being dependent on someone else and it was probably killing her. But it was a temporary thing and she realized this, too, and finally nodded in agreement.

“You might be right,” she conceded with a sigh. “And I’ve been thinking about what you said about contacting the authorities. Maybe that’s the best thing to do. I don’t think Jason or Renee were doing a great job with these girls. Chloe is most definitely going to need an antibiotic for that cough and something tells me she’s been sick for a while. The poor baby has no color to speak of. They ought to have to work to get them back. Maybe it’ll teach them a lesson in being parents.”

“So you’re saying you’re okay with me calling the sheriff?”

“Yes, on one condition…the children stay together. They need each other.”

“I’ll make the call,” he said, moving to grab the phone. “And then I’m taking Chloe to the doctor.”

RENEE PULLED TO A STOP and took a cursory glance around the ranch that bordered Gladys’s property. She’d waited two agonizing days, but by 11 a.m. the third day Renee figured she ought to start poking around. If Gladys had gone on vacation, she might’ve left instructions with a neighbor to watch the house for her. Either way, Renee might get some kind of information that might be useful in finding Jason and the kids.

She was nearly to the door when a deep voice startled her.

“Didn’t you see the sign?”

Her heart jackhammering in her chest, she stammered a bit as she turned, her gaze catching the sign he was talking about. Trespassers Will Be Shot. No Exceptions. She swallowed and got straight to the point. “I’m sorry…I’m looking for Gladys Stemming but she doesn’t seem to be home and I wondered…”

“What do you want with Gladys?”

She frowned at his tone. “I’m Renee Dolling. Uh, well, she’s my aunt, by marriage, and I—” Why was she explaining herself to this man? Renee straightened. “Has she gone on a trip? If so, do you know when she’ll be back?”

“Dolling?” He repeated, a sudden shrewd light entering the hard stare coming at her from beneath a dusty and worn baseball cap. Little ducktails of dirty blond hair too long to be fashionable stuck out from under the hat as if to clearly state he had no time for such niceties as regular haircuts. And his sun-darkened face had a boyish charm that was completely at odds with the stern expression pinching his mouth as he said again, “Did you say your name was Dolling?”

“Yes…do I know you?”

“Name’s John Murphy and, no, we’ve never met, but you’ve sure got some explaining to do.”

“Excuse me?”

“Three days ago your husband dumped your kids with a sixty-seven-year-old woman and took off without so much as a ‘see you later’ and she’d just had surgery for a triple bypass but you wouldn’t know that now, would you, because you dumped your kids before he did.”

“He’s not my husband,” she muttered yet felt heat blooming in her cheeks at his words. At least he wouldn’t be in a few months. The divorce wasn’t quite final in the eyes of the courts but as far as she was concerned Jason could take a long walk off a short pier after the hell he’d put her through. Selfish bastard. Wait a minute…“Did you just say my husband dropped the girls off with Gladys?”

“I did.”

A relieved smile broke through her annoyance at being interrogated and she exhaled loudly. “Oh, thank God. Where is she? I’ve been looking for the girls for months and I’ve been worried sick.”

Her relief was short-lived as the man continued to openly assess her, as if he were weighing something heavy in his mind, and unease fluttered in her stomach. “Is there a problem?” she asked stiffly.

“I’d say so.”

“Which is?”

“You don’t have custody any longer.”

Renee’s knees nearly snapped out from under her as she sucked in a pained gasp. “What?”

“Yesterday afternoon your girls were placed in the protective custody of their aunt Gladys as a temporary measure until things can be sorted out. No mother, no father…Gladys was their closest relative. Simple as that.”

“Well, I’m back so that won’t be necessary, now will it?”

“Doesn’t work that way. Courts are involved. Convince them you’ve decided to be a mom again and then we’ll see. But, can’t say that will be easy. Seems the courts around here don’t take lightly to parents abandoning their kids.”

She bristled at the thinly veiled disgust behind his seemingly mild statement and allowed the building anger to hold the panic at bay.

He didn’t have the right to judge her. No one did. “Not that it’s any of your business but my reasons for leaving my children with their father are my own. I didn’t know he was going to do what he did. Just point me in the direction of my children and we’ll get out of your life.”

“I already told you I can’t do that.” He shifted lazily against the fence he was leaning against, the slow action belying the fierce set of his jaw.

“What?”

“You heard me. The girls are in Gladys’s custody. If you want your kids, you’re going to have to talk to the court.”

“This is ridiculous,” Renee said, her voice hitting a shrill note. “What the hell is going on here? Are you telling me that you’re keeping my girls from me? You’re stealing my children?” Her voice rose to a hysterical pitch on that last question while her heart beat so hard it felt as if it might burst right out of her chest. This wasn’t happening. This had to be a bad dream. A horrific, horrible dream. Total strangers didn’t just get to keep other people’s kids. It just didn’t happen.

“No. The way I see it, three little girls were abandoned by their no-account parents and the law stepped in to protect them. If that’s not the way you see it, then you need to prove otherwise to the judge. Until then, get off my property.”

Chapter Three

JOHN WATCHED AS THE BLONDE marched over to her car. She shot him one last burning look filled with animosity but he didn’t care. Something Taylor had said was still sticking in his mind in a terrible way. Was it possible that their father had put something bad into the baby’s eggs? And if so, did the mom know about it? He watched as the woman, Renee, climbed into her car and slammed the door. No doubt she was wishing his head were caught between the door and the chassis. She sat in her car glaring at him, clearly debating her next move.

The front door opened and Gladys appeared with the children flocked around her, each bundled in an odd assortment of secondhand clothes that looked old enough to earn a spot in a museum somewhere, and John knew that any chance of a peaceful resolution was over.

“Lexie?” The woman had jumped from the car and was now running toward the girls until John blocked her path with a warning that she didn’t heed. “Get out of my way,” she said in a low growl. “Those are my girls and you’re not going to stop me from at least seeing them!”

John turned to Gladys, who was watching the scene with alarm, and instructed the older woman to go back inside with the kids.

“Those are my kids! You can’t keep me from them. I have a right to see them. Let me go or you and I will have major problems that go way beyond your manners and rude disposition. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you just fine. Now you listen to me. I don’t know you from Adam but I do know you’re not going anywhere near those girls until we get things sorted out. They’ve been through plenty without you traipsing into their lives acting like you’re here to pick up lost luggage after a long plane ride.”

She paled and her bottom lip actually trembled slightly but John wasn’t swayed. Where had she been when her girls were going without food? When Chloe got sick and had no one to take her to the doctor? Those little girls needed someone to champion them and right now, he was it.

“You don’t know anything about my life.”

“About that you’re right and, woman, I don’t care to know. You walked out on your kids. Their daddy walked out on them. I didn’t ask for this but it landed in my lap just the same and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let those girls go to the first ditzy broad who comes my way saying she wants her babies back.” She gasped and he gave her arm a little shove as he released her. “Now, the best thing you can do right this minute is to get off my property before I have you arrested for trespassing.”

Tears welled in her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. Rubbing at her arm where he’d kept a firm grip, she sent him a scathing look and promised to return with the authorities.

“You can’t just keep someone’s kids like you would a stray puppy! They’re mine and you can’t—”

“Yack, yack, yack. You do what you feel is necessary. Until then, get lost.”

RENEE DROVE LIKE A CRAZY WOMAN straight to the Sheriff’s Department in Emmett’s Mill, part of her sobbing with elation that she’d finally found her girls and the other part railing at the asshole who had the audacity to keep them from her as if he had the right.

Coming to an abrupt stop in front of the police station, she pushed open the double doors and stalked inside. She approached the reception desk and banged on the little bell for service when the woman behind the desk was slow to open the sliding protective glass window.

“I need to talk to an officer right away,” she said to the dispatcher-receptionist, ignoring the woman’s look of annoyance. “A man is keeping my children from me and I need an officer to go out there and get them.”

“Excuse me? Come again? You say someone’s holding your kids?”

“Yes. A man named John Murphy—”

“That name sounds awful familiar…does he own the Murphy ranch out on the outskirts of town?”

“Yeah, I guess it was a ranch of some kind.” She vaguely remembered seeing a few horses and a dog. Renee let out a short breath as incredulity warred with extreme frustration at the woman’s failure to grasp that a serious crime was being committed. She seemed more interested in playing the Name Game, and Renee tried again. “Yeah, it was a ranch but I hardly think that’s relevant when I’m trying to tell you that this John Murphy has kidnapped my children. He has my kids and I want them right now. Can I speak with a deputy please?”

“Don’t get huffy.” The woman’s mouth pinched, causing little lines to crease her lips in a most unflattering way. “All the available deputies are out on a call. But if you leave a name and number—”

Renee slapped her hand down on the counter, making the woman jump and her hand flutter to her chest in alarm but Renee was past caring about making waves. She wanted her kids. “I will not. A crime is being committed and I want a goddamn officer. Do you hear me?”

The woman’s deep-set eyes narrowed and Renee knew she’d just crossed over to the place of No Return and she was pretty sure that place was also nicknamed Up Shit Creek Without a Paddle because moments later, those deputies that were previously unavailable came pouring out and Renee found herself in handcuffs.

“What are you doing?” Renee shrieked as the deputy led her to a small single cell in the rear of the building. “I come here for help and you’re arresting me?”

“Nancy pressed the panic button, which means you must’ve done something to cause her to panic. This is for everyone’s safety until we figure out what’s going on.”

A woman officer entered the room. “I got this Fred. You can go ahead and take that coffee break you were wanting earlier.” She waited for Deputy Do-Right Fred to leave and then she introduced herself. “I’m Sheriff Casey. Seems you’re making friends wherever you go. I got a call from John Murphy about a half hour before you showed up and started abusing my staff. Want to tell me what’s going on?”

Renee’s cheeks warmed at the cloaked rebuke and took a minute to calm herself before she answered. “My ex-husband, Jason Dolling, took off with our kids and I’ve been trying to find them for the past four months. I remembered that Jason had a great-aunt in the area and so I came looking for my girls here and found them at the neighbor’s house!”

“Are you sure they’re your kids?”

Renee stared at the woman. “Are you kidding me? Of course I know for sure. They’re my kids. That’s not something you forget.”

“According to John, you walked out on them. That true?”

“I left them with their father for personal reasons,” Renee said, fuming. “I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“I’m the one asking the questions. Why’d you leave them?”

“I told you. It was personal.”

“Yeah…it usually is.” The woman regarded her shrewdly and Renee felt her jaw tense. She got the distinct impression this small-town sheriff was judging her and there was nothing Renee hated more than to be put on display just so someone else could offer their opinion. The sheriff sighed. “Well, we’ve got ourselves a situation.”

“Yes, I agree. Some hillbilly horse rancher has my children and I require your assistance to retrieve them,” Renee said.

“That’s not exactly how I see it,” the sheriff admitted with a shake of her head.

“Oh? Is there any other way to see things? Perhaps you’d like to swab my cheek for DNA to make sure I’m their mother.”

The sarcasm in her voice did little to soften the sheriff toward her but Renee was losing patience with this whole ridiculous routine. And to think she’d thought the hardest part of this mess would’ve been to find Jason and the girls, not pick them up. Noting the narrowed stare and gathering frown on the sheriff’s face, she tried again. “Listen, I’m tired and I just want to get my girls. It seems there’s been a misunderstanding but no harm done. So if you’ll just provide a police escort, we’ll be out of your hair before you know it and everything can go back to the way things were before me and my girls ever stepped foot in this godfor—” she checked that part of her sentence “—uh, town.”

The sheriff smiled but Renee felt the chill before the woman started talking. “You never answered my question.” At Renee’s blank stare, the sheriff asked again, “Why’d you leave your kids behind with a man who, by the sounds of it, wasn’t fit to water a dog much less care for three babies?”

No one hated the truth of that answer more than her, but if she lied it would only make her look worse so Renee grit her teeth and admitted her greatest shame to a total stranger. “Because I was in rehab.”

“Rehab.”

In that one word, Renee heard a wealth of condemnation and she wanted to scream. She’d get no help from the sheriff. Fine. On to Plan B. Inside she was shaking with frustration but she kept her expression calm, knowing if she had any chance of getting her girls she had to first get the hell out of this jail cell.

The sheriff sighed. “Okay, here’s the deal. John told me Gladys Stemming has temporary guardianship for the time being so until you get in front of the judge and have that amended, the order stands and I can’t let you charge out there and take the kids. But seeing as you haven’t actually committed a crime I can’t keep you here so, if I let you out of this cell, you’re going to promise me that you’re not going to rattle any more cages with your screeching and hollering. That’s not how things are done around here, you hearing me?”

Renee swallowed and nodded though it killed her to agree to those terms, especially when her first instinct was to drive straight back to that ranch and take the girls and run. Fortunately, good sense prevailed and she rationalized that once she got in court—in front of someone normal instead of these small-town hillbilly types who made up the rules as they went along—she knew she’d get her girls back and they could leave this nightmare behind.

“I hear you. Loud and clear,” Renee answered. “I’m sorry for freaking out your receptionist. I was upset. I haven’t seen my girls in months and contrary to what you may think about me, I’ve been desperately searching for them since Jason took off,” she added, with a dose of humility that wasn’t entirely fake for she really hadn’t meant to frighten anyone.

“Um-hmm. Well, just see that you keep your nose clean until you can get to court. I don’t want to have to lock you up again.”

That makes two of us.

JOHN SAT ACROSS THE TABLE from Alexis and Taylor while Chloe helped Gladys bake cookies in the kitchen.

“Was that your mama?” he asked the girls. Both were wearing solemn expressions, though there was a hint of anger in Alexis’s. He sighed. “If that woman was your mama, she’s going to come back and if the courts decide she’s fit, you’re going to have to go with her. Don’t you want to see your mama?”

Taylor looked uncertain but as she slanted a quick glance at her older sister, who had remained stoic, she chose to keep her answer locked up tight. Though her silence didn’t last long.

“I want to stay with you, Mr. John,” Taylor blurted. “I like it here. It’s warm and you’re a good cooker and I don’t mind sharing a bed with my sisters because it’s soft and I don’t get woken up by bugs running across my toes. Please don’t make us leave, Mr. John.”

That last part—delivered with a child’s earnestness—hit him square in the chest. He didn’t want to give the kid false promises but he couldn’t imagine breaking her heart like everyone else in her short life had done. “There are rules when it comes to kids,” he started, hating that it wasn’t as simple as Taylor saw it. “If your mama isn’t fit then you have to go to a court appointed something-or-another. This is a temporary thing that we got going on right now.” Tears sprang to Taylor’s eyes and Alexis pulled her closer. Ah hell…rules were meant to be broken, weren’t they? “Listen, I’ll see what I can do but if you stay here, there are rules here, too. Chores, helping out. I run a working horse ranch and I don’t have time to be chasing after three little girls who aren’t prone to listening.” He gave Alexis a short look. “Am I clear?”

Taylor nodded. “Can I help with the horses?”

John exhaled loudly, feeling as if he’d just agreed to take on the world for three little strangers. “We’ll see. In the meantime, why don’t you go help Mrs. Stemming with those cookies. I need to talk with your sister.”

He watched as Taylor hopped from her chair and skipped to help Gladys, a bright smile wreathing her small face as Gladys handed her a bowl with cookie dough and told her to start rolling it into little balls for the oven. He’d told Gladys she shouldn’t be up and about so much but the old gal wanted to feel useful and wouldn’t be deterred. He figured for now it was all right but he was going to get her to see the doctor soon.

Once Taylor was suitably occupied he gestured for Alexis to follow him into the living room, which was a far enough distance from the kitchen to allow them some privacy.

She took a seat opposite him, perched on the edge of the cowhide sofa as if poised to bolt if the need arose. Everything about Alexis, from her rigid posture to her sharp, alert and wary gaze, told him that this girl had lost her childhood somewhere along the way of her life. He could relate somewhat. He’d often felt like Evan’s father rather than just his older brother after their mom died. The weight of that responsibility had a tendency to suck the fun right out of growing up. He eyed her intently. This kid didn’t know what it was like to be coddled and so he’d talk to her straight.

“You mad at your mama? It’s okay if you are. She did a bad thing, leaving you like she did. But it seems maybe she has changed a bit since you saw her last. She seemed real upset, don’t you think? Maybe you could sit down and chat with her for a bit, get a feel for what she’s saying.”

Alexis softened imperceptibly. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I know you still have feelings for your mama and that’s okay, too. We can be mad at the people we love. But if you don’t talk with her about your feelings, they’ll just fester up inside of you and make you sick. It’s like having an invisible infection inside your heart and it never gets better unless you treat it.”

Alexis gave a stiff nod but remained quiet.

“I need to ask you something about Chloe.” At the mention of her baby sister, her demeanor became protective. Her little fists curled and he doubted she even realized it.

“What about Chloe?”

“Was your daddy mean to her?”

“Daddy was mean to all of us.”

“Yeah, I get that. He sure as hell ain’t up for Father of the Year but I mean did he pick on Chloe more than the rest of you?” At first Alexis seemed reluctant to answer, her small mouth compressed as if trying to hold back what wanted to fall out, so he waited. His patience was rewarded when Alexis started talking in a barely audible whisper.

“Yes,” she said, tears glittering in her eyes. “It got really bad when our mom left.”

“Do you know why?” he asked gently and Alexis shook her head. Drawing a deep breath, he asked the question that had been bothering him the most. “Do you think your daddy was trying to make Chloe sick?”

Alexis bit the side of her cheek and her face paled as she struggled to hold back the tears that welled in her eyes.

“It’s okay, you can tell me. I know you did your best to keep your sisters safe. Tell me what your daddy was doing to Chloe.”

Alexis gulped and when she spoke again her voice shook. “Special eggs. He made her eat eggs that he made special and they always made her sick. The last time, right before we left Arizona, I watched him as he made Chloe’s breakfast. He put something in it from under the kitchen sink and I know that’s not where we keep the salt and pepper. We only keep cleaning supplies down there. So I didn’t let her eat them.”

“How’d you do that?”

“When he wasn’t looking I switched our plates. I knew he hadn’t put anything in me and Taylor’s eggs and then I told him I didn’t feel good. I threw my eggs away. He didn’t care about me, but he made sure Chloe ate every bit on her plate before he’d let her get down from the table. I think my daddy—” She stopped on a painful sob and John felt her struggle as if it were his own. Alexis had confirmed his worst fear. The girls’ father had been trying to poison his youngest daughter.

He caught Alexis’s red-rimmed stare and made her a solemn promise. “You’re never going back to that man. And if your mom isn’t up to snuff…you aren’t going back to her, either. That okay with you?”

Her answer was slow in coming but he suspected it came straight from her heart as she nodded and said, “Fine by me.”

Good. First things first…“I’m friends with Sheriff Casey. You need to tell her everything you just told me.”

“Are you sure we’re not going to go back to Daddy?” she asked, her eyes scared.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“Daddy was real mean to Chloe,” she said. “I’m afraid of what he’ll do if we go back. He told Chloe if she didn’t stop peeing her panties he’d put her outside like a dog because she smelled like one. He left her out there for hours in the rain. I went out and got her after he went to bed. It took all night to warm her up but the cough she has now…it’s from that night. Sometimes she coughs so hard, she can’t breathe.”

“I know, honey, that’s why I took her to the doc. She’s got some medicine and we’re taking care of that nasty cough so you don’t need to worry anymore,” he said, careful to keep his voice neutral and calm when inside he was to the boiling point. He couldn’t imagine little Chloe locked outside, shivering in the rain, crying for her sisters and huddled against the door while her father sat in relative comfort inside the house. God help him if John got his hands on that man. But for now, he needed to lift the weight from this little girl’s shoulders. “All right. Here’s the deal. Sheriff Casey is a good person. There’s no way you’re going back to your daddy after you tell her what you told me. But you have to be honest with her so she can help. Okay?”

Alexis nodded and wiped at the remaining tears glistening on her downy cheek. “Why did she leave us with him?” she asked quietly, more to herself than to John. Suddenly, she looked at him as if expecting an answer though he didn’t have one. “Maybe if she’d taken us with her…Chloe wouldn’t have been hurt.” She rose and glanced away, seeming much older than she really was. When she spoke again, her voice was cold. “I hate her. No one can make me love her again. Not you. Not anybody. I’ll hate her forever and it doesn’t matter if she’s changed.”

As John watched her stalk from the room to join her sisters, he didn’t doubt a single emotion flowing from that little girl’s strong heart. In a way he felt bad for the storm that was heading in the direction of Renee Dolling. That woman would have to dig deep to find the loving daughter she’d left behind. And, given what the girls had been through, Renee might find her way to China much easier than the way to her daughter’s closed-off heart.

He didn’t envy her. Not one bit.

Chapter Four

“COURT RULING STANDS. Temporary guardianship will remain with Gladys Stemming until family court has had a chance to review the case further.” The rap of the gavel brought Renee out of her stunned stupor. What had just happened?

She shot from her seat. “Excuse me? What the hell just happened?”

The Honorable Judge Lawrence Prescott II gave her a sharp look just as the bailiff started to move forward to deter her from approaching the bench. “You’ll watch your language in my courtroom, miss,” he said with a soft drawl that betrayed southern roots somewhere in his lineage. He gestured for her to take her seat and once she reluctantly returned to her chair, he said to his court reporter, who in Renee’s opinion looked a lot like the receptionist at the sheriff’s department, “Please repeat the judgment for Mrs. Dolling, Nancy.”

Renee stared, unable to believe what she was witnessing, as indeed dour-faced sheriff’s receptionist Nancy pulled the tape from the machine and repeated in a clipped voice the judgment that had just been rendered.

Schooling her voice into something less screeching and more reasonable, she tried a different tactic. “I heard the judgment. What I don’t understand is how the court can appoint a virtual stranger as guardian for my children when I am their mother. They should be with me. Surely, you can understand that?”

Judge Prescott gave her a wintry glare and Renee felt her hopes of putting this nightmare behind her anytime soon freezing to the point of death. “What I understand is that you’re a fickle woman prone to bad decisions when it comes to your children. That’s what I know about you. What I know about Gladys Stemming is that she’s solid and dependable.” The judge glanced at John Murphy sitting opposite to Renee. “And since Mr. Murphy has offered the use of the ranch while she recuperates from her surgery, it is the court’s determination that the children have a safe and stable environment while this whole situation is sorted out. In addition to that, the children themselves have expressed a desire to stay with their aunt…not you.”

Renee sucked in a sharp breath at the rejection and blinked back tears. “Sir, if you gave me a chance to talk with my girls I would explain the circumstances and I’d get them to understand. In time, they might even forgive me for making a terrible mistake but if you keep them from me how can I hope to make everything right again? I love my girls and if I had the chance to do things over, I’d do it all much differently.”

“Be that as it may, you didn’t do things differently and your children suffered. Particularly your youngest.”

What did he mean by that? Renee frowned. “Chloe? I don’t understand how she suffered the most…”

Judge Prescott peered over his glasses at Sheriff Casey and continued, “Your youngest daughter is suffering from bronchial pneumonia due to horrific abuse at the hands of your ex-husband. The doctor she was taken to discovered old bruises and a hairline fracture in her left arm that had been left to heal on its own.”

Renee felt sick. “I wasn’t aware…”

“Yes, well, the court isn’t interested in your excuses, Mrs. Dolling. The fact remains that you left your children in the hands of a dangerous and abusive man. It is the court’s belief that only through the vigilant actions of your other children that Chloe is still alive.”

Renee caught the stare of John Murphy—the man who was essentially getting her children—and she expected to see the same condemnation she was getting from the rest of the room, but she saw a flicker of something close to sympathy that took her by surprise. She looked away abruptly. She didn’t want his pity—or anyone else’s. Not that it was coming her way in waves at the moment but the scraps of her pride demanded she hold her head high. “How long is this temporary arrangement in effect?” she asked.

“As long as I deem necessary.”

She took a risk as she said, “Forgive me, Your Honor, but I think it would be more appropriate for my children to go to a state-approved foster home rather than that of some man you happen to know from school. How do I know that this John Murphy isn’t some kind of pervert?”

Nancy the court reporter-sheriff’s receptionist gasped and her eyes widened before she returned her attention to her typing. Yep. Nancy’s reaction pretty much clinched Renee’s sinking suspicion she just made things worse, but Renee wasn’t going down without a fight.

“I’ve had just about enough of your mouth,” the judge warned. Renee caught Sheriff Casey shaking her head as if Renee was just about the dumbest person on the planet to question the judge in such a manner, but Renee felt desperation setting in and, well, desperate people do dumb things. The judge shuffled his papers from the case and handed them to the court secretary for filing. “Get a job. Get a place to stay and then, when you get your ducks in a row, we’ll talk about modification. In spite of your infernal mouth, I get the sense that you didn’t know what a monster you’d left your kids with but that doesn’t erase what happened to those girls. They need stability. They need someone they can trust. And they trust John and Gladys. I could order them into foster care but that would likely traumatize them more as I’d have to break them up because the system’s full. They’d probably even go to separate counties. You want that?”

She couldn’t imagine separating the girls. “No,” she answered in a small voice.

“Then stop your complaining about how unfair things are for you and start focusing on getting your life back together so that your girls would rather be with you than a stranger.”

That hurt. Renee swallowed the sharp retort that flew to mind as her defenses went up, because she knew as whacked out and nuts as this whole court drama was, there was a certain kindness directed at her children. If the girls wanted to be with John Murphy for the time being, she’d go along with it. But as soon as she won their trust back, they were packing it out of this place—fast.

GLADYS MET JOHN AT THE DOOR, her expression anxious. He allayed her fears quickly. “Court ruling stands but their mother, Renee, gets monitored visitation for the time being.”

“Oh, thank goodness. Those poor babies have been tied up in knots since you left this morning. Alexis takes it the hardest. That poor lamb. I can only imagine what she’s been through trying to protect her sisters from that man. It boggles my mind why their mother left those babies in Jason’s care.”

“In court she mentioned something about being in rehab when Jason split,” John said, chewing the side of his cheek as he mulled over the information himself. What kind of rehab she didn’t elaborate but drugs of any sort were bad news by his estimation. “But Judge Prescott didn’t seem to care much for her excuse. I don’t think he much cared for her, not that she helped matters at all. Her mouth sure does overload her ass a lot.”

Gladys nodded. “I’m sure. I remember she had quite the smart mouth when I met her all those years ago. I’m just glad Larry was sitting on the bench today instead of a temporary judge that they sometimes bring in from the city to help with the backlog. Someone else less conservative might’ve given those babies back,” she said with a shudder. “Makes me sick to think of it.”

He agreed. Judge Prescott was an old-school kind of guy. If the law still allowed a hanging tree, he’d be the kind to supply the rope. “Where are the girls?” he asked, looking around.

She gestured toward the living room, where the faint sound of the television could be heard. He frowned. “I don’t think they should be watching so much TV. Rots your brain from what I hear.”

Gladys shooed him. “Stop being such a bear. Those babies could use a little pampering. Besides, now that we’ve gotten the court stuff out of the way we can start getting the older girls enrolled in school. They’re going to need some routine and stability after what they’ve been through and school will keep their minds busy. I’ve already placed a few calls. It’s going to be a couple days before we can track down Alexis’s transcripts but until then they’re going to need some clothes. They can’t go to school in those rags.”

He’d already been thinking about that, seeing as the clothes they showed up in weren’t fit to line a dog’s bed. “Maybe I could pick up a few pairs of jeans at the hardware store,” he speculated, which earned him a scowl from Gladys.

“Hardware store? You can’t put Rustlers on a bunch of girls. What’s wrong with you? They need pretty things, not work boots and coveralls. Leave it to me. I’m handy on the computer and Macy’s delivers anywhere in the United States.”

John fished his wallet out from his back pocket and pulled his credit card free from the plastic holder. He handed it to Gladys. “Buy them whatever they need,” he said. “I don’t care how much it costs.”

“John…that’s too generous,” Gladys protested softly but her eyes shone with love. She tucked the card into her apron pocket and gave his cheek a pat. “You’re a good man, Johnny. Now, go on and do something useful. Don’t you have horses to tend to?”

He did and Gladys giving him the go-ahead should’ve been a relief but he felt oddly compelled to check on the girls himself. He supposed that was only natural given the extreme circumstances but it still knocked him silly at odd moments that he was even in this situation. Him. The bachelor. With a house full of kids that he barely knew.

And despite his stern instruction not to, his thoughts kept pulling him in the direction of Renee. She ought to be the last person he was thinking about—just the fact that he was gave him serious pause—but he’d be a liar if he didn’t admit where his thoughts kept wandering. She truly looked stricken when the judge told her of Chloe’s injuries. Either she was a really good actress or she felt sick inside at the knowledge that her ex-husband had abused her baby. But the question that nagged at John was, why only Chloe? It seemed Jason Dolling had singled out that poor kid—not that he was going to win any parenting awards—but the other girls seemed to have been spared the brunt of his anger. Little Chloe didn’t fare the same. A shudder of discomfort shook him as he realized just how close Chloe may have come to leaving this world if it hadn’t been for her sisters, mostly Alexis, looking out for her. The doc found traces of arsenic lingering in Chloe’s system from the repeated doses slipped into her “special eggs.” Doc said she should be fine now but a few more doses and it could’ve been fatal. Peeking around the corner, he spied the three towheaded girls snuggled up to one another, watching television, and he knew there would be hell to pay if anyone—including their dingbat mother—tried to hurt them again.

He didn’t understand his own vehemence but he knew enough not to question it. What was true, was true and the protective feelings curling around his heart were solid even if he didn’t understand where they were coming from.

A FEW DAYS LATER, RENEE returned to the ranch that was her children’s temporary home and realized her palms were sweating. She could still see Alexis’s frozen expression, caught between her previous happiness and shock, and knew she was the cause of her daughter’s unpleasant reaction.

She knew better than to expect her daughters to run to her with open arms—least of all Alexis—but the open rejection hurt a lot more than she imagined it would. Today was the first of their scheduled visitations and Renee was going to make the most of her time with her girls. She didn’t chase them all over California and back again to give up now. She’d help them to understand why she left and why she would never leave them again. Renee fingered the small badge pinned in a discreet corner on the lapel of her jacket and prayed for strength before exiting the car and walking toward the house.

But before she reached the front door, that infernal rancher, John, once again intercepted her and she wanted to throw something heavy his way. She didn’t even try to hide her scowl as she said, “It’s my court appointed visitation day. Check your paperwork.”

“I know what day it is. I just want a few words first.”

She tensed. “Why?”

“I want to make sure you don’t try to pressure the girls into doing something they don’t want to do.”

“Excuse me?”

“I know you don’t think much of this arrangement. It’s pretty much written all over your face, much the same as it was in the courtroom, that you think this is a bunch of bullshit but at this point you’re in no place to judge. I don’t care about you or your feelings. All I care about is that those little girls aren’t hurt again by either of their parents. And let me give you a fair warning right now…if that ex-husband of yours even comes near these kids, I won’t hesitate to shoot him just for the sheer fun of it. So, if you and him are still cozy, make sure you give him that message. I’m not one to kid about things this important. You hearing me, Mrs. Dolling?”

Her first instinct was to slap him across his scruffy face for the insult he so casually tossed her way. Hadn’t he heard her when she said Jason stole their kids and she’d been chasing after them ever since? The very thought of being friendly much less cozy with Jason made her physically ill. But the very fact that this man who was no blood relation to her children was championing them in a way that their own father had not kept her hot words and temper in check—though the action was not without great effort on her part.

“I hear you just fine. I’m not deaf,” she said, meeting his steady gaze without flinching. She imagined that when this man stared people down he won most of the time. He was the kind of man who gave no quarter but expected none, either, yet somehow her girls had found the one soft spot in his heart and he wasn’t letting go. Her stomach gave a discomforting tingle and she slammed the door shut on wherever her thoughts were going. “Are you finished? I’ve waited months to see my kids. Despite your scintillating conversation skills, I didn’t come to see you.”

“Fair enough. I just wanted to make sure we’re clear. They’re inside. Mrs. Stemming will monitor your visit. Don’t give her any grief, either. She’s taken to the girls and I won’t have you upsetting her.”

What a wonderful opinion he had of her. “As long as she doesn’t give me any grief, I won’t feel the need to dish it out.”

And with that she started walking straight up the steps to the house. She didn’t wait for his approval or his invitation and gave the front door a solid knock. Her bravado did wonders for the appearance that she wasn’t scared to death of her own children but did little to stop her hands from shaking or her knees from weakening. She glanced over her shoulder and saw John watching her intently, his eyes never leaving her. She suppressed a shudder at that strong stare and knocked again. This time, the door opened and an older woman with a full head of white hair stood between her and her girls.

Renee tried putting on a cheerful face. No sense in making enemies purposefully, her own aunt used to say. “Hello…Aunt Gladys,” she said, trying for some sense of familiarity, hoping that it might soften any lingering hard feelings. “It’s been a long time. I’m Renee.”

“I know who you are.” Gladys’s expression was pinched and disapproving as she moved aside. “Come in. They’re waiting for you.”

Mean old bat. Wiping her slick palms across the seat of her pants she followed the older woman into the expansive ranch house and despite the foreign surroundings could sense that this house was warm and inviting with its lived-in look and strong masculine accents. She rounded the corner and there sat her girls, their little faces pulled into solemn masks filled with anxiety and trepidation, and her heart broke from a heavy combination of joy and deep agony.

Chloe sat on Alexis’s lap while Taylor sat beside her older sister. The three couldn’t have looked more miserable yet stuck to each other as if glued.

Coming forward, wanting desperately to wrap them all in her arms and never let go, she stopped short when she saw Alexis tighten her arms around Chloe protectively. Pain arced through Renee but she didn’t want to push the girls too fast. Taking Alexis’s lead, she moved to the chair closest to them and took a seat.

“How about some cookies and tea?” Mrs. Stemming broke in with a modicum of manners though there was no warmth directed at Renee in those bright, alert eyes. Renee was tempted to tell her to stick her cookies where the sun didn’t shine but she held her tongue in the interest of playing nice. When Gladys spoke again, Renee was glad she’d remained quiet. “Taylor and I made a fresh batch of gingersnaps this morning and they’re mighty good,” she said, sending a genuine smile to Taylor who returned it tentatively.

Although mildly allergic to ginger Renee smiled and nodded. If suffering through hives was the price she had to pay to win her daughters’ love back, she’d eat an entire batch of gingersnaps and risk anaphylactic shock for the privilege. “I’d love some.”

But Alexis wasn’t going to let her off that easy. “She hates gingersnaps,” Alexis said, her mouth forming a hard line.

“I don’t hate them, Lexie,” Renee gently corrected. “I’m slightly allergic but I’d love to try Taylor’s cookies.”

“Whatever.”

Renee drew back at the flippant sarcasm in Alexis’s voice and her hopes for a happy reunion sank to the bottom of her heart. Gladys looked to Renee for direction and she gave her a weak smile. “I’d still love to try the cookies.”

“Are you sure?” Gladys asked, uncertainty etched into her expression, no doubt from the fear that Renee might fall over dead from a simple cookie.

“It’ll be fine,” Renee assured her. “Promise.”

Gladys left the room and Renee sought a safe subject to fill the empty air. “Tell me what you’ve been doing lately. I want to hear all about your adventures. I’ve missed out on so much. I have a lot to catch up on. Taylor, sweetheart, why don’t you start?”

But before Taylor could open her mouth, Alexis started talking. The anger in her young voice fairly vibrated her body as she spoke.

“What do you wanna know?”

Renee faltered, not quite sure how to talk to this angry stranger. “Anything, honey. I want to hear about everything,” she said, her gaze darting to Taylor, hoping for some help from her little chatterbox, but she received none. Taylor remained quiet and wide-eyed, waiting for a cue from her sister on how to act. “Taylor?” she prompted but Alexis shut her down before she could say a word.

“You really wanna know or are you just trying to play like you care?” Alexis said, her gaze hot.

Renee drew back, stung. “Of course I want to know. And I do care.”

Alexis smirked, the expression on her young face entirely too mature for her actual age of nine and a half. “Okay. Daddy’s been trying to kill Chloe by giving her rat poison. He put her outside in the rain when she peed the bed and he used to hit her with his belt until he broke her bones. Do you wanna see the bruises?” Renee could only stare in shock. Alexis shrugged. “You asked. Oh, and I’m a year behind in school because Daddy moved us around too much. And Taylor gets nightmares. Are we done catching up?”

Without waiting for Renee’s answer—not that she could’ve mustered one—Alexis rose with Chloe still in her arms and stalked from the room, calling for Taylor to follow. Alexis whirled before exiting, her blue eyes blazing. “And stop calling me Lexie. I hate that name and I never want to hear it again.”

Tears sprang to Renee’s eyes and she didn’t care that the old bat was watching as she let her head sink into her hands. She was a fool to think that Lexie—no, Alexis—would ever forgive her. And rightly so. Who was she to even ask for forgiveness when her children had suffered so much?

“She’s a smart girl,” she heard the old woman say, then crunch into a cookie, presumably the gingersnaps she’d offered earlier. “She’s not one to eat up bullshit, if you know what I mean.”

She did. Lifting her head, she eyed the woman. “You’re no expert on my daughter after spending a few days with her. I’d appreciate if you kept your opinions to yourself,” Renee said, standing stiffly.

Gladys shrugged. “Doesn’t seem like you’re much of an expert, either, and you’ve been around her for at least some of those nine years she’s been on this planet, so I’d watch where you’re slinging that attitude of yours,” Gladys said before finishing the rest of her cookie.

“I know my daughter,” Renee retorted, her cheeks heating but her heart ached privately. What Alexis said…Renee would never have guessed that Jason would have been capable of hurting Chloe. Never even imagined, though she should’ve figured with his more recent drug history. He’d become unpredictable. She struggled to keep her voice calm. “She’s smart. She’ll come around.”

“Maybe.” The older woman nodded, then bit into another cookie. “If she thinks you deserve a second chance.”

“She will. I’m her mother.”

“Don’t get your dander up. I’m just saying she’s a smart girl and if you don’t blow it by cutting out on them again, she’ll likely loosen up. Kids are more forgiving than adults.”

“Thanks.” The word was difficult against her lips but she sensed this woman was not her enemy even if she wasn’t her friend. She blew out a breath and rolled her shoulders to release the tension building behind her blades. “How are they doing?”

“Good as to be expected I guess. You might want to talk with John, though. He’s got all the details you’re probably looking for. I just bake and keep them occupied when John has to tend to the horses.”

Renee smiled softly, thinking of how Taylor must love being around the horses. “Does Taylor get to see the horses?”

“Oh, yes, that one is hard to keep out of the stables. John lets her help him feed them in the morning, though I suspect when he gets them enrolled in school, she’s going to put up a fuss when she can’t hang around the barn all day.”

Alarm spiked through Renee. “School? He’s enrolling them in school? Here?”

Gladys looked nonplussed. “Well, of course, here. Where else? They have to go to school. It’s the law. It’s bad enough that riffraff of a father dragged them from one place to another with no thought as to how they’d get an education, but the judge was adamant that they get enrolled right away. The only reason they’re not enrolled yet is because of some hiccup with Alexis’s transcripts.”

She supposed that made sense but enrolling them in school suggested permanence and she didn’t want the girls to think they were staying any longer than the court order required. And the fact that the judge wanted them enrolled didn’t bode well for a quick resolution in Renee’s estimation. “Where is the school here?”

“Well, the high school kids get bused to Emmett’s Mill or Coldwater but there’s an elementary school just down the road a bit that the local country kids go to. That’s where they’ll go.”

“Is it a good school?”

Gladys smiled proudly. “One of the best. It’s not big on fancy things like new computers but the teachers are warmhearted and the classes are small. The girls will fit in right away. Don’t you worry.”

“My girls are strong. They’d fit in anywhere,” she bluffed, only hoping that was true. The truth was, as Gladys had already pointed out, she didn’t know her girls at all.

But, as her gaze drifted out the front window to the arena where John was working with a horse, she aimed to rectify that no matter what—or who—stood in her way.

Chapter Five

JOHN CROSSED HIS ARMS across his chest and stared. “You want me to what?”

Renee lifted her chin. “Hire me.”

“For what and why?”

“Well, you need someone to help with the girls and by the looks of your house, someone to help out with general upkeep. I figure the best way to stay close to my girls and get to know them again is to be around them as much as possible and I can’t do that if I live and work twenty miles away. Plus, there’s really not much to choose from as far as jobs go. You live in the sticks of the sticks.” Renee paused to take a breath and he realized more was coming. “And, I was thinking that perhaps you could let me stay here in that guesthouse you have behind the main house. I’d be out of your way and it would take care of two of the requirements the judge set forth in the judgment.”

“Why would I want you moving into my house? Have you forgotten I don’t much like you? And just what the hell are you insinuating about my house?” Was she saying he was a slob? He shot her a dirty look. “You sure have a funny way of asking for a favor, you know that?”

She returned his glare but the way she chewed her bottom lip told him she realized she might’ve been a little harsh. “I didn’t mean to insult you. All I’m saying is your house is clean enough for a bachelor but a woman’s touch is needed around here.” She gestured to the drapes at the front window. “When was the last time those things were aired out? Or how about the floor? This old hardwood needs to be waxed every now and again. I figure you don’t have the time to be doing stuff like that.”

He glanced at the floor. Looked fine to him. So it didn’t shine like it used to when his mama was alive but it was still in good shape. And whoever heard of airing out drapes? How dirty could they be? They just hang there. “How do you know so much about cleaning house?” he asked.

She bristled at his open speculation but answered even though he suspected she would’ve rather told him to shove it and mind his own business. “My mother was a bit of a stickler when it came to keeping a clean home. She was known to fire the staff for not adhering to her standard,” she muttered.

Staff? His ears pricked at the small tidbit of information but his interest didn’t compel him to inquire further. The woman was becoming a bit of a mystery that only gave him a headache when he tried to figure her out.

He read nothing but honesty as she said, “I just want to do what’s best for the girls, and contrary to what you or that nutty judge may think my girls need their mother.”

He could argue they needed their mother to protect them when their father was being a monster but he figured there was no sense in poking at a beehive when you knew full well nothing but pissed off bees were going to fly out. But that didn’t mean he wanted her moving in. “I don’t want you moving in and I don’t need your services,” he maintained stubbornly.

She squared her jaw, not willing to give up. “Gladys seems nice enough but you can’t really expect an old lady to keep up with three little girls. She can’t even lift Chloe and that’s who she’d be around when the older girls are in school. What if there was an emergency and you weren’t around? Gladys tells me that you work outside a lot. What if she had a heart attack or something?”

“Gladys is fine,” he growled. But he knew he couldn’t expect Gladys to keep up with the girls and he did worry when he had to be outside for any length of time, which given his trade was hard to get around. Still, having Renee here…at the ranch? It smacked of trouble. “The court might not approve of you being around the girls without supervision.”

“I’m not a danger to my own children,” she said quietly and John couldn’t help but soften a bit toward her. “I just want to get to know them again. This is the easiest and most helpful way for both of us. I need a job and a place to stay. You and Gladys need help with the girls. It’s a win-win for us both. And, once the girls and I patch up our relationship, we can all get out of your hair. That’s what you want, right?”

“I want what’s in the girls’ best interests and I don’t know if that includes letting them leave with you anytime soon,” he snapped, knowing full well he hated the idea of letting the girls leave with this nut but as much as she taxed his patience, she’d made valid points in her favor. “Let me think about it,” he said with no small amount of ire in his tone. “I have to talk with the girls first. I don’t want to upset them more than I have to. Their first day of school is tomorrow and neither of the older kids is too happy about it.”

“Alexis used to love school,” Renee murmured, her expression sad. She looked up hopefully. “Maybe I could go with you when you take them.”

He slanted his gaze at her, her blue eyes so much like her oldest daughter’s that he suspected when Alexis grew up she’d be the spitting image of her mama. If that were the case he’d have to beat the boys off with a stick—that is if the girls were still around here by that time, which wasn’t likely. Shifting in annoyance at his thoughts, he grunted an answer.

She blinked at him. “What? I’m sorry…was that a yes or a no?”

“I said fine. Do what you want. Just don’t upset the girls.”

“What time?”

“I’m supposed to have the girls at the school at seven-thirty.” He chewed the inside of his cheek, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Alexis was pretty angry with her mom and he didn’t want to put her through more than she’d already experienced but Renee had a point. She needed to spend more time around them if they were going to repair their relationship. But a part of him could give a fig about Renee getting her kids to love her again. She was the one who screwed up and walked away. Why should she get a second chance at messing with their hearts? But even as the angry thoughts scrolled through his head, he shot a look at Renee and caught the very real fear in her eyes that her girls might never forgive her, and he realized she was probably beating herself up more than he ever could.

Unsure of how he really felt and not particularly interested in digging to find out, he grunted something else in the way of goodbye and headed out to the stables. Working with horses was something he knew and understood. He’d just stick with that.

RENEE WATCHED AS JOHN STALKED off and seeing as she wasn’t entirely sure if he’d just told her to get off his property or go ahead and enjoy an iced tea, she decided to seek out the girls before she returned to town. He hadn’t agreed to her offer but he hadn’t expressly turned her down, either. Renee chose to think optimistically. Perhaps she could get Gladys on her side. Going to the house, she hesitated at the front door, wondering if she should knock or just go in. Deciding it was best to proceed with caution, she gave the door a soft knock and waited.

She could hear the laughter of her girls, at least Taylor, and Renee smiled. Taylor was always her most exuberant child. A tomboy with a wild nest of blond hair that was stick straight and likely to be standing on end each morning. Renee used to fight with her, trying to get a brush through that mess. Tears sprang to her eyes as the memory of being with her girls every day—before she made the decision to leave—made her stiffen against the bittersweet moment. She was different now and she’d never be the woman she was then. Her fingers strayed to the badge on her jacket and as the pads grazed the hard metal, she sought strength from within and from God. She had just enough time to suck a deep breath of cleansing air before the door opened and Taylor stood there.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Renee said, fighting the urge to sweep the little girl into her arms. “Can I come in and visit for a bit?”

“I have to ask Grammy Stemmy,” Taylor said solemnly before running from the door. Renee stepped over the threshold and could hear Taylor yelling in the kitchen. “Renee is here. Can she come in and visit?”

Fresh pain spiked through Renee as her child referred to her by name as if she were a stranger. No doubt Alexis had a hand in that. The girls would do whatever their older sister told them and right now Alexis was more than willing to sever any tie to their mother. But Renee was tougher than that and she was still their mother, no matter what they called her.

“I suppose,” Gladys said warily, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “We were just about to have some hot cider and cherry turnovers. Would you like to share some with us?”

“Sounds wonderful. Thank you.”

Renee followed Gladys around to the kitchen and took a seat at the expansive oak table, noting that the two little girls clambered into seats right beside her but Alexis was nowhere to be seen. Disappointed that her eldest daughter was purposefully avoiding her, she focused on the joy at having her little girls flocked around her. As she accepted a small plate with a pastry from Gladys, she started casual conversation.

“Are you excited about starting school, Taylor?”

Taylor’s expression dissolved into a mutinous scowl even as she chewed on her turnover. “I hate school.”

“How do you know that, sweetheart? You’ve never been to school yet. Besides, it’s only kindergarten. I bet you’ll have a wonderful time and make lots of new friends.”

“I don’t want friends. I want to work with the horses and Mr. John.”

“Well, I’m sure Mr. John loves your help with the horses but he wouldn’t want you to miss out on school. He knows how important it is.”

“Yeah, I guess. Daddy never made us go to school. He said school never did him any good so why should he make us go?”

Renee burned inside at Jason’s stupid statement and wondered how in the hell she ever considered him the love of her life. Struggling with her answer, she smiled and said in the nicest way she could muster, “Uh, sometimes Daddy didn’t know what he was talking about. School is very important and I think you’re going to love it.”

“Why?” Taylor’s bell-like voice tinkled softly as she suddenly looked intrigued. “Do they have horses at school?”

“Not that I’m aware but they have libraries with lots of books that they will let you check out for free and then you can read all about horses.”

Taylor seemed to consider this but suddenly her face screwed into a frown. “I don’t know how to read,” she said.

“All the more reason to go to school. Your teacher will teach you how to read and then you can read anything you like. But in the meantime, before you learn to read, they have what’s called picture books and I’ll bet there are picture books devoted completely to horses. Would you like to see pictures of pretty horses?”

“There’s no prettier horse than Mr. John’s Cisco. He’s very pretty but you can’t get too close to him because he’s been spooked by a bad person.”

“Spooked?” Renee asked.

“Yeah, Mr. John works with horses that are sad or mean ’cuz someone wasn’t nice to them. And Cisco is my favorite.”

Renee was mildly impressed in spite of herself. She had to admit she had a soft spot for abused animals, as well. “What does Cisco look like?”

Taylor flung her arms as wide as they would go. “He’s bigger than this and real tall. Mr. John said he’s seventeen hands but I don’t know what that means. I think it means he’s like a giant ’cuz he is.”

“He sounds very big,” Renee agreed, returning to the subject of school. “So, you think you might be willing to check out school then, if we can find some horse picture books?”

Taylor nodded. “Maybe I’ll go just to check out this library thing. But I’m not making promises that I’ll like school.”

“Absolutely. No promises.” Renee smiled and suddenly remembered something. Opening her purse, she pulled out Mr. BunBun. The moment Taylor saw what was in Renee’s hand, her eyes widened and she clasped her hands tightly as her voice hit a high-pitched squeal of delight that felt like heaven against Renee’s ears despite its ear-drum shattering quality.

“Mr. BunBun!” Taylor hugged the bedraggled stuffed animal to her small chest and nearly squeezed the stuffing out of it in her excitement. “How’d you find him?”

“When I was looking for you girls I found the house you were living in with your dad and Mr. BunBun was all by himself. I knew you would miss him so I grabbed him before leaving.”

“Thank you so much!” Taylor said and impulsively kissed Renee’s cheek.

Chloe, watching her sister, copied the gesture and Renee received a sloppy kiss from her youngest daughter. Unable to help herself, Renee scooped both girls into a tight embrace, her heart cracking from the unparalleled joy cascading through her body. The girls giggled and Renee smiled through her tears. The moment was nearly perfect. She only wished Alexis were there in the cuddle. Seconds later, Renee’s unspoken wish was granted—albeit not in the way she’d been hoping.

“What are you doing?” Alexis’s imperious tone cut through the happy moment as easily as a hot knife through butter and the girls scattered.

Taylor held up her rabbit. “Renee brought me Mr. BunBun,” she said, though her chastised tone scraped on Renee’s nerves. Alexis shouldn’t make her sisters feel bad for showing affection to their mother. Taylor moved farther away from Renee and Chloe followed.

Renee caught Gladys’s watchful stare as the scene unfolded. Standing, Renee met her daughter’s hot gaze and knew the moment was now or never to remind her daughter that she was still their mother. “Alexis Janelle Dolling, you will not speak to your sisters that way,” Renee said, knowing she was likely digging the hole even deeper between the two of them but she couldn’t stand by and watch as Alexis bullied the girls. “We were having a lovely moment until you came in and started glaring at the girls for even being near me. That will stop right now.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Alexis sneered, but her eyes welled with moisture. “And you’re not our mother anymore. You stopped being our mother the day you walked out on us.”

“I made a terrible mistake. I admit that. I will gladly spend the rest of my life making up for it but that doesn’t mean that you can talk to me or your sisters so disrespectfully.”

“We don’t want to hear your excuses,” Alexis said. “And Taylor left behind that dumb stuffed animal for a reason. It’s trash. Isn’t it, Taylor?” She looked pointedly at Taylor until Taylor’s bottom lip trembled as she struggled to let her precious bunny go a second time. Renee was shocked at the level of Alexis’s anger that she’d be willing to sacrifice Taylor’s feelings for her own spite.

Renee stopped Taylor from dropping the bunny to the table, and ignoring Alexis for a moment, tucked a wayward strand of white-blond hair behind Taylor’s ear as she said softly, “Sweetheart, you don’t have to give up Mr. BunBun. He’s your special bunny and only you can decide when it’s time to let him go. Okay?”

Taylor nodded slowly and clutched the bunny tightly. Looking to Alexis she said, “He’s not trash!” and ran from the room.

Sensing the tension, Chloe started to cry and out of instinct Renee scooped the toddler into her arms. Alexis reacted violently, running to Renee and trying to jerk Chloe out of her arms. Renee twisted so that Chloe wasn’t accidentally hurt in the process and suddenly John was there, plucking Alexis up as if she weighed nothing and placing her firmly away from Renee.

Renee realized as she soothed Chloe that John must’ve been watching the scene from the hallway.

“Alexis,” he said, commanding her daughter’s attention as angry tears streamed down her face. “Never attack your mother like that. That’s not okay in this house. You could’ve hurt someone, especially your sister. Do you understand?”

She nodded jerkily but Renee caught a nasty look just the same.

“Can you apologize?” he asked and she shook her head. As if understanding, he patted her on the shoulder and said, “All right then, go on to your room and think about what you’re so riled up about and maybe we can talk about it later.”

“I don’t want her here,” Alexis said in a low tone. “Please make her leave.”

At that Renee felt a section of her heart splinter and fall to pieces. Her daughter hated her and that would probably never change. Tears blinded her as she pressed a kiss to Chloe’s head and handed her to John. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she said, then added to Alexis, “I’m not leaving you girls ever again. That’s a promise. You can be mad for as long as you want but that’s not going to change the fact that I love you, Alexis. And deep down, you love me, too.”

Chapter Six

JOHN RESISTED THE URGE to follow Renee out but his eyes tracked her progress as she drove out of the driveway.

He caught Gladys’s watchful stare and he couldn’t help the scowl that followed. “Don’t start thinking there’s more to this than there is. There’s no rule that says I can’t feel bad for the woman for the mess she’s created. I’m human, too.”

“Oh, stop your blathering. I never said anything. But no matter what you say I think it was right decent of you to come to her rescue when Alexis flew at her like that. I think her heart just about broke when Alexis reacted that way.”

“Yeah. I saw that. Think I should talk to Alexis?”

Gladys considered it for a moment and then shook her head. “No. I’d let her work through it on her own. She’s got a deep well full of misery to deal with and we don’t need to heap more on her plate. Besides, I think you got your point across pretty good. If she doesn’t show up for dinner maybe you ought to check in on her but until then, let’s just give her some space.”

John heaved a private sigh of relief. He didn’t know how to console an angry little girl but he hated to see her so upset.

“She has a long road ahead of her with that child,” Gladys commented as she packaged the remaining turnovers. “I don’t envy her.”

“That makes two of us,” he agreed. “You think she can change?”

Gladys shrugged. “Time will tell but I’m not holding my breath at the moment. She’s got to adjust that attitude of hers or else she’s just going to spin her wheels with Alexis.”

John glanced away, voicing his private thoughts on the subject. “There’s no excuse for leaving your family behind.”

“You’re right about that and I know you know what that’s all about. Did you ever forgive your father for leaving?”

“No.”

Gladys chuckled. “Didn’t think so. Like I said, that woman’s got a rough row to hoe but in the meantime, we’ll be there to catch the girls before they fall this time around.”

He shifted, hating how he’d somehow, unwittingly, wandered into emotional territory. Gladys was a tricky one. Always had been. Probably why she and his mom had been such tight friends. They were peas in a pod. She prodded at him and he emitted a low groan as her point went straight home. “I’d be a liar if I said I’ve never said or done anything I regret,” he admitted in a tight voice. “But I don’t understand how a mother could leave her babies. Gladys, I don’t think I’ll ever understand and if I can’t understand how is that little girl going to?”

“No one is asking you to figure things out for her. She’s a smart kid. She’ll do that on her own. But,” Gladys sighed as if hating to agree with Renee on anything, and then said, “in the meantime, she needs to be around her mother.”

“Renee suggested I hire her for help around the house with the girls. Said you were too old.”

Gladys chuckled. “That woman’s got spunk, I’ll give her that. But as much as I hate to admit it, these old bones are feeling the years piling up behind them,” she admitted grudgingly. “I could use a hand around here. Chloe is a handful even though she’s sweeter than freshly churned butter and I think she would love to have her mama around. She doesn’t remember her very well and she harbors the least amount of piss and vinegar. I think it would be smart for Renee to start rebuilding with Chloe first. I’ll be here to smooth out the rough spots but she’s right. I am a bit long in the tooth to be chasing after a toddler while the other girls are in school.”

John heaved a heavy sigh and nodded. “I guess I could fix up the guesthouse. Although I hate the idea of harboring that woman on my property,” he added with a glower. “Frankly, if it weren’t something the girls probably need to get over this mess, I’d tell her to pound sand. I don’t give a shit about her feelings in this.”

“What about the court stuff?”

“Oh, Sheriff Casey isn’t going to make a stink over anything as long as those girls are safe and happy. Besides, the order doesn’t say anything about Renee keeping her distance or anything. I suppose as long as everyone is happy, no one needs to be the wiser.”

“So it’s settled, then? Renee is moving in?” Gladys’s mouth firmed, no more happy about it than John but willing to see it through for the girls’ sake just like him.

“I suppose she is.” He walked from the kitchen, his pace brisk, but not even his quickened step could keep him from the realization that he was about to invite more complications into his life and if the warning tingle in his gut was any indication, he might’ve just changed his life forever.

RENEE WALKED WITH TAYLOR’S hand firmly in her own as Alexis practically jogged three steps ahead with John and Chloe somewhere in between.

“I don’t want you walking me to class,” Alexis declared, looking pointedly at Renee before continuing with strong purposeful steps toward the entrance.

Renee looked down at Taylor. “How about you?”

“You can walk me to class if you want to, I suppose,” Taylor answered. “You can show me where these picture books are that you were talking about.”

“Deal.”

The school was an old brick building with a bell at the top, a remnant of when the school was first built in the late 1800s, and it looked right out of an episode of Little House on the Prairie.

“Do you think that bell still works?” Taylor asked.

“I don’t know but we can ask your teacher,” Renee said, smiling.

She glanced up at John and wondered if this was where he went to school. He seemed to know his way around well enough as they went straight to the front office and a few people even nodded in surprise at seeing him there.

“Old school chums?” Renee surmised once she’d caught up to him.

“I guess you could say that,” John answered, but didn’t elaborate further. Talk about a man of little words. If he strung together more than two sentences in a row she’d fall over in shock. Grumbling to herself, she kept the rest of her annoyed thoughts silent as the principal greeted them.

“John Murphy? I haven’t seen you in awhile but I do know you don’t have kids. Who do I have the pleasure of meeting?”

Before John could answer, Renee piped in, saying, “They’re mine. We’re just staying with John at the ranch for now. Renee Dolling, pleased to meet you, Mr.…”

“Curtis Meany,” he answered with a broad smile, coming forward to envelope her hand in a firm handshake. “Don’t let the name fool you, I’m really a softie at heart. If I’m not careful these students run all over me. Are you from around here? I don’t recall the name.”

“No, we’re new.” Renee smiled and left it at that. She didn’t want to go into details and ruin this nice man’s impression of her. It was hard enough dealing with John much less another judgmental local. “My girls, Alexis and Taylor, are starting classes today.”

“Yes, here are their teachers’ names and classroom numbers. If you have any questions or concerns, my door is always open. Good to see you again, John.”

“Curt.” John inclined his head and then gesturing for the paper in Renee’s hand, said, “Let’s get this show on the road. I have a horse coming in an hour.”

“You can go if you like,” Renee offered and was mildly surprised when he frowned in response. “If you’re in a hurry…”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied.”

He started to say something but then thought better of it and snapped his mouth shut. “Perhaps I did.”

Renee smiled down at Taylor. “Let’s go find your teacher, shall we?”

She didn’t wait for John nor did she try to convince Alexis to let her walk her to class, as well. She knew her daughter well enough to know any attempt at this point would be rudely rebuffed. She’d have to let Alexis come to her. She fought back a well of fear when she considered the very real possibility that that day might never come and instead focused on the happy start she was being granted with her middle daughter.

JOHN WATCHED AS RENEE LED Taylor to her new classroom. To look at them one would never guess their circumstances. Renee looked every part the doting mother, her eyes fairly shone with love and adoration that John was almost apt to believe, if not for the reminder of Renee’s defection standing beside him wearing a fierce scowl.

“She seems to be trying,” John noted, almost to himself but it was really directed toward Alexis. She took the bait quite readily.

Alexis snorted. “My mom used to want to be an actress. You shouldn’t believe a word she says. She’s a good liar.” And then she adjusted her pack and stomped in the direction of her new classroom.

An actress? It shocked him but then again…it didn’t. She was sure pretty enough to fill a big screen. That blond-hair-blue-eye combination was a killer. Not to mention those curves…John shifted on the balls of his feet wondering where his mind was going and who gave it permission to wander like that.

Renee returned a short time later, a warm glow suffusing her expression that was nearly contagious.

“She settled in all right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I think she’s going to have fun. Taylor has an adventurous spirit. She’s game for anything that can hook her interest. But then you’ve probably already figured that out about her.”

He had. It was one of Taylor’s more endearing qualities. “She’s got a sharp mind. I think school will be a good challenge for her.”

Renee nodded and they walked out the front doors. The children quickly dispersed as they ran to their individual classes when the bell rang. Once at their vehicles, John climbed into his truck and then stopped to call out to Renee.

“Yeah?” she asked, her brow furrowing subtly as she regarded him warily.

“If you’re still interested in the job, I suppose it’s available.”

“You’re saying that you’re willing to hire me to help out with my kids?” There was a sparkle in her eyes that he couldn’t help but catch and it made him bite back what he might’ve said to her clever comment. She didn’t give him a chance to rescind the offer and quickly jumped. “Sounds perfect. When can I move in?”

John startled at the gooseflesh that rioted up and down his arm. He swallowed. Moving in. It created a wealth of imagery that made his heartbeat thud painfully. Scowling, he said, “Since you’re in an all-fired hurry, I suppose Friday is fine.”

“Friday?” Her expression fell. “But it’s only Monday. I was hoping—”

“I know what you were hoping but the guesthouse won’t be ready for anyone until then. It’s the soonest I can accommodate you into my schedule. It should go without saying that I still have a job to do and it doesn’t include making room for yet another Dolling. You get me? Take it or leave it.”

He winced privately at how surly he sounded. Damn, if he didn’t sound like a cantankerous old fart but she rubbed him the wrong way in the worst way. She had no business looking the way she did and coming around as if she was pretending to care when John knew full well she hadn’t cared when it mattered to those little girls. Right? Ah, great. Talking to yourself now, he mentally chastised himself. John’s lips pressed against one another and he figured that was the smartest thing he could do at this point—keep his damn mouth shut.

“Friday, 8 a.m. sharp. Don’t be late.” He slammed the truck door, eager to get the hell away from her and his confused thoughts.

Chapter Seven

RENEE RETURNED TO THE HOTEL, her mind buzzing and her heart full of hope for the future. Taylor was the key to breaching the wall Alexis had built around them. She didn’t blame Alexis for her attitude even if it hurt. Of all the kids, Alexis remembered many details that were lost to Taylor and unknown to Chloe. Renee rubbed her palm across her stinging eyes and fought back the bad memories that always threatened to surface when she wasn’t being vigilant enough.

The fights. The screaming. And the alcohol. Always a lot of that around the Dolling house. It became her way of coping with a failed life and living with a man she didn’t love any longer. She’d had such big dreams as a kid. But Jason Dolling had been persuasive and her hormones had been listening. She couldn’t regret everything that happened during their life together. Her girls were the shining example that even when everything else was going to shit, there was always something to be grateful for.

She wished she could take every bad memory from her daughter’s mind but that wasn’t an option. All she could do was be there and promise their lives would be different. And that was something she could do without reservation.

Getting sober hadn’t been the easiest thing in the world but she’d had really solid motivation. She never tried to compare her journey to that of others because they’re never the same or even comparable. Renee had definitely come to appreciate that old saying, Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes, because when she’d made the decision to get sober at first it was natural to assume others had it easier or harder, take your pick, but she’d learned quickly not to judge. She’d seen lawyers and doctors sitting side by side with drug addicts and no one had it easy.

She’d been no different—and no worse.

But to explain to a child the reasons why her mother left…were there words in the English language that would ever convey the reason in a way a child would understand? Renee didn’t know but she desperately wanted to find out. Alexis was her soldier, her first born. She’d bonded to that girl from the moment she came screaming into the world, her lusty squall a balm to Renee’s young heart, the calm in the storm that surrounded her and Jason.

Taylor was the let’s-try-and-save-the-marriage baby. And by the time Chloe arrived…well, the marriage had been over before she was conceived. Yet, Renee had stayed. Drinking her failure away with her two solid friends, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam and the occasional visit by Captain Morgan on holidays.

So many bad choices. A lifetime, really. Was she poised at the precipice of yet another bad Renee Dolling decision? She just wanted her kids back so they could get back to their lives.

But then what? Her chest tightened with panic and uncertainty. She’d been so focused on finding the girls she didn’t actually have a plan as to where they’d go from there. Renee’s mother had always called her flighty. So far, she hadn’t proven the woman wrong and the time was past to do so. Her mother had long since written her off as a daughter. So now she only had herself and her children to prove something to.

But it was enough. She wouldn’t let the girls down. That was a promise. Friday couldn’t come soon enough in her book.

JOHN SPENT MOST OF THE MORNING working with a skittish mare that’d been brought the day before and he was thankful for the hard work. The moment he entered the arena, she shied away, stomping the ground with her front hooves as if daring him to get closer so she could stamp a nice U-shaped mark on his forehead. He let her settle down but didn’t leave the arena. He let her know that he wasn’t going anywhere but didn’t try connecting the lead rope to her halter, either. The two eyed each other and John settled into a comfortable space inside his head. He could sense her distrust and knew this girl would take considerable work on his part to get her to the point where she didn’t try to kill anyone who came near her.

As it was it took four men to unload her into the horse paddock and she’d shown her displeasure by kicking the shit out of the stable gate as she tried to get out of her stall. Her wild screams told him she didn’t like enclosed spaces and he soon moved her to a bigger, much roomier stall that he usually reserved for foaling mares. Luckily, at the moment he didn’t need the special sized stall. Once she didn’t feel the walls closing in on her, she settled with an uneasy whinny but none of the ranch hands wanted to go near her. John didn’t blame them. He instructed everyone to steer clear of the young mare appropriately named Vixen and so far they had. Today was the first day he’d had the chance to formerly introduce himself so to speak and by the murderous glint in her eye, the introduction wasn’t going so well.

“You and I are going to get along just fine,” he said low and soft as if the horse could understand every word. “I know you’ve had a hard time of it but no one is going to hurt you here. You have to behave, though, you hear me? No more kicking stable doors and scaring the life out of my ranch hands. I don’t pay them enough for that shit.”

Vixen tossed her head as if to say “that’s your problem” and he chuckled softly. That it was. “We’re going to get along just fine, aren’t we?” he asked, a small grin lifting the corners of his mouth. There was nothing he enjoyed more than a challenge and judging by the proud and stubborn toss of the young mare’s head, he’d found a damn good one.

Vixen reminded him of Alexis—all spit and fire—if only to draw attention away from the wound inside. He knew Alexis cried at night when she thought no one could hear her, when her sisters were fast asleep and she thought he was crashed out in front of the fire. But he heard her heartbroken sobs clear as if she were curled in his lap soaking his shoulder. And he’d be a liar if he didn’t admit it hit him hard. But what did he know about consoling a little girl’s broken heart? How was he supposed to help her heal? He was out of his league. You didn’t ask a horseman to wrestle with alligators because it wasn’t his specialty and he was likely to get his hand chomped off. That’s how he felt. Caged with an alligator with nothing but a lead rope and a prayer. By his estimation, neither one was going to do much good.

So where did that leave him? The mare stared warily, watching and waiting for his next move, and the answer came to him with the slow cumbersome gearshift of the truly reluctant. The only way Alexis was going to heal was if she had her mama back in her life, which meant, and he really didn’t like the sound of this, he was going to have to help Renee mend the fence.

And that meant playing nice with the woman.

Aww hell.

He didn’t know how to do that, either.

He glanced back at Vixen, who nickered—or maybe it was a snicker—and said with a shake of his head and a promise in his eye, “Oh, don’t look so smug. You’re next, hot hooves. You’re about the only thing I know how to handle around here. So, let’s get to work, shall we?”

RENEE GLARED AT THE SKY and cursed the snow spiraling out of the dark, ominous clouds as she wrestled another box out of her car and struggled to keep her footing on the slippery ground.

“Here, let me take that before you land face-first in a snowdrift,” John said gruffly, lifting the box from her arms before she could protest. “We could’ve waited until Monday, after the storm passed us by,” he said over his shoulder as she hurried to catch up.

“No, I’ve waited long enough to be around my girls. I’m not letting some—Oh!” She slipped a little and nearly landed on her rear but somehow caught herself before doing so. John didn’t slow nor did he glance back at her. Straightening, she took more care as she made her way toward the guesthouse. “I’m not going to let some storm get in my way. Besides, who’s to say this storm would be over by then? No way. I’m settling in and getting comfortable as soon as possible.”

He turned abruptly and she almost ran into him. “Oh! You should say something before you do that!” she admonished with a glare, her breath pluming in a misty curl between them. “The ground is hard enough to walk without you stopping for no good reason in the middle of the path. Have you ever considered putting in a nice sidewalk to the guesthouse?”

“No. That would encourage people to stay longer than they’re welcome,” he answered, shifting the box easily although Renee knew it was heavy. So there must be some muscles hidden beneath that flannel shirt she noted with a private shrug. Big deal. She’d never been one to swoon over some hunky cowboy type. Wrangler butts don’t drive her nuts. Good thing, too, because a cursory, almost defiant sweep of his butt, revealed an ass that she couldn’t help but admit was on the perfect side. He caught her unfortunate perusal and his eyebrow lifted only so slightly as he said, “Flattered but not interested. The house is the only thing available in this deal.”

The nerve of this guy! As if she’d be interested in him. The idea bordered on ridiculous. Pulling the box from him and grunting only slightly from the effort, she said coolly, “I wasn’t inquiring. I can handle the rest, thank you. What else did you have to say when you nearly made me run into you?”

She expected him to fight her over the box but he didn’t. The jerk merely shrugged and pulled a key from his pocket, saying, “I was just going to mention that you can help yourself to the woodshed out back and I suggest you build a fire right away. It’s the only source of heat in there. Here’s the key.” And then after pushing the key into the lock since her hands were full, he walked away, not slipping even once although Renee was really hoping he would—it would serve him right—and disappeared in the direction of the barn.

Nerve, nerve, nerve! The man had it in spades. Oh, sure, he gave off that quiet, unassuming vibe but the man actually had an ego the size of…well, for lack of anything more witty or clever, Texas!

She managed to hold on to the box and open the door with a minimal amount of swearing and despite the bone-chilling cold was actually sweating from the exertion.

Dropping the box with less delicacy than she should’ve, she winced as she heard the muffled crack of something breaking and wondered which of her precious few possessions she’d just shattered. After huffing a short breath and vowing to open the box later to find out, she decided to wander the small house to see what she was looking at as far as living conditions go.

Well, it was better than her hotel room, she noted after a quick perusal of the small house. One bedroom, one bathroom, a kitchenette and a tiny living room. Not bad.

If only it weren’t wallpapered with some kind of hideous rose wallpaper that looked like it was taken straight out of the pages of a Sears, Roebuck catalog, circa 1920. She grimaced. Thank God she wasn’t planning on staying long. This wallpaper might make her lose her mind. She peered out the small front window. Nothing but more snow fluttered from the sky, threatening to bury the small house and the ranch itself if the storm didn’t let up. Flicking the living room light on, she pushed the box out of the way of traffic and readied herself for another trip to the car. She didn’t have much but at the moment, even one more trip outside wasn’t a pleasant thought. Get on with it, she chided herself, wrapping her shawl more tightly around her neck. If she didn’t want to sleep in her jeans tonight, she’d better get the rest of her stuff before the path from the driveway to the guesthouse became damn near impassable.

Trudging through the gathering snow, her toes freezing in her worn hiking boots, she couldn’t help the quick glance toward the barn as she wondered what kind of woman—if any—would turn John Murphy’s head.

Likely as not, that woman didn’t exist. She scowled at her thoughts.

Yeah, well, who cares? It’s not like she was hoping to be that woman, anyway. She just wanted her kids back. End of story.

Besides, no one in their right mind would want to live here, she thought with a surly temper as she sank to her knee in fresh powder and nearly toppled forward in a frontal snow angel dive. Pulling her foot free, she muttered with a fierce glower, “I hate snow. I really, really, really hate snow.” And I think I just might hate you, too, John Murphy.

Chapter Eight

THE STORM DIDN’T LET UP as John had thought and since there was little work he could do with the horses in the current weather, all he could do was wait it out. Normally, he’d just tinker around the house, doing odd jobs he’d put off but he couldn’t turn around without stumbling over a little girl underfoot since Alexis and Taylor had been given a snow day.

Peering toward the guesthouse, he was satisfied to see that the little chimney was pumping out smoke, which meant Renee, despite the odds he was betting to the contrary, knew how to build a fire. At least she wouldn’t freeze. Not that he was worried.

He moved to the living room and thought about reading the local paper he’d missed from the previous week but as he entered the room it was hard to avoid the long, sullen faces of three little girls who were dying from boredom.

Earlier Renee had found an old puzzle and she and Taylor had spent an hour putting it together only to discover it was missing a piece. But Taylor had just giggled and Renee’s expression of pure joy had been hard to walk by without taking notice. He could see the happiness shining from her eyes at her daughter’s carefree laughter and it jerked his foundation a little. Alexis, of course, had had nothing to do with her mother or her invitation to join them. For a split second John regretted seeing the light dimming in Renee’s eyes at her daughter’s open rejection and it had bothered him that he cared. Later, Renee had returned to her cottage and the girls had slowly slipped into terminal boredom when Gladys had taken to her bed early.

It was one thing to be locked in a house of your own with your own things to keep you company, but it was completely something else when you’re locked in a stranger’s house with nothing familiar.

He remembered what he and Evan used to do when the snow piled high and their mom had had enough of their tussling in the house. She sent them outside in the snow with the order to stay out of trouble or else.

A speculative glance toward the girls had his mind moving. If memory served, there was still a toboggan in the attic gathering dust along with the rest of his childhood mementos. He’d be willing to bet Taylor would love a ride down the hill on that thing.

A few minutes later, he entered the living room with an announcement.

“Bundle up, we’re going outside.”

“It’s snowing,” Alexis said.

“Are you going to melt if a snowflake lands on you?”

She scowled. “No. But it’s cold outside and Chloe’s still sick.”

“Fresh air never hurt anyone. Besides, her cough is getting better by the day. Discussion over. Go get dressed and help your sisters, please. We’re going outside.”

Alexis didn’t argue further but the unhappy pout told him volumes about her disposition. He didn’t let it get to him, though. He suspected her attitude had less to do with the snow and more to do with the fact he’d let her mama move into the guesthouse. He withheld a sigh. Despite some reservations, he supposed he had to find a way to get those two talking again. He glanced at the small guesthouse, and figured he might as well stop putting it off and start lending a hand. To that end, he made a decision that he hoped didn’t blow up in his face.

“I’ll be right back,” he told the girls who were in the process of being bundled into new jackets and mittens that had been part of the back-to-school shopping spree that he’d instructed Gladys to make. He had to admit, Gladys had a better eye when it came to girly stuff than he did. His idea of high fashion was a clean flannel shirt but, shoot, the horses didn’t care what he wore. “Make sure you zipper up good. The wind is blowing a bit,” he instructed.

“Maybe we should stay in the house then,” Alexis muttered but continued to help Taylor into her mittens.

Making his way to the guesthouse, he gave the door a short rap. A minute later Renee appeared wearing a pink fuzzy sweater that plunged at the neckline in an enticing V, practically plucking John’s eyeballs from his head and nestling them between her ample breasts, until she crossed her arms at the immediate chill to ask, “Is everything okay?”

Uh. Shaking off the odd spell—had she been wearing that sweater earlier? Seemed funny that he just now noticed how much it flattered her figure—he focused on her face as he answered. “We’re going sledding. Do you want to come?”

“Sledding?” She blinked at him, her mouth working silently as she considered the offer. “You mean actual sledding? Down a hill or something?”

“That’s generally how it’s done. You’ve never gone sledding before?”

“No. I didn’t grow up around the snow,” she answered, tightening her arms and scowling much like Alexis did. “It’s not a childhood requirement, you know.”

“You’re right,” he agreed amiably. “So, here’s your chance to see what you’ve been missing. Bundle up and meet us out front.”

He didn’t give her much opportunity to say more and he did that purposefully. He was having a hard time focusing when his eyeballs wanted to slide downward to enjoy the view that shouldn’t have interested him at all given their situation. But, as his brother liked to point out with a cheeky grin, he had needs, too. He shook off the immediate bells and whistles that hooted and hollered in his head at the thought of satisfying those pent-up needs with Renee Dolling and walked a little faster away from the small house.

The girls, stamping their feet in the snow and blowing little clouds in the frosty air, gaped at the toboggan he carried under his arm.

“What’s that, Mr. John?” Taylor asked, her smart gaze feasting on the long, sturdy contraption that despite its age was in excellent shape.

“It’s a toboggan and we’re going to do something that I used to do with my brother, Evan, back when we were kids and there was nothing to do but watch the snow fall. Come with me.” Bending, he scooped Chloe up, carrying the toddler while pulling the toboggan behind him, his own breath making blue-gray puffs that quickly disappeared in the frigid air. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Renee running to catch up. He kept his expression neutral though he had the strange impulse to grin.

Taylor squealed and jumped into a snowdrift, giggling as the white powder swallowed her small frame until she had to kick her feet to regain her footing. “I like snow,” she announced as Renee took her hand and pulled her out. “Do you like snow?” she inquired and John listened a little more intently for Renee’s answer.

“I like being with you girls,” Renee answered diplomatically and John chuckled softly. She was breathing a little harder from the exertion and her cheeks bloomed prettily, not that she needed any help in that department, John noted with exasperation. Renee tried making small talk with Alexis and John admired her tenacity in the face of her daughter’s dark expression. “Remember that time we went to Kirkwood and—”

“No. I don’t.”

Alexis trudged ahead, her arms swinging with the effort as she put distance between them all. John heard Renee’s unhappy sigh and slowed his own gait so they were walking side by side.

“She’s pretty headstrong,” he said, needing to say something that might put Alexis’s rejection into perspective.

“Always has been. But she used to be on my side,” Renee said. “She’s not the kind of kid who forgives or forgets easily.”

“Would you want her to be?”

“No. Not really. I’ve always felt that Alexis had a good head on her shoulders. That life wouldn’t tip her over like it did me. She’s always had the uncanny ability to see through the bullshit. I wish I’d had that talent when I was young.”

John wondered at that statement. He was slowly beginning to realize that Renee’s past may well be a chaotic one. Shrugging, he said, “She’ll come around.”

“I know. But it hurts to be on the outside.”

“Give it some time. She’s still getting used to having you around again. But she misses her mama and that’s the truth.”

Renee looked at him sharply. “Really? Did she say something?”

“Not in words. It’s a feeling. A hunch.”

Her expression fell and she sniffed. “Forgive me if I don’t put much store in hunches and feelings. My daughter hates me and goes out of her way to make sure I feel the sting of it every day. I would’ve been more hopeful if she’d actually admitted something to you.”

“You don’t always get what you want the way that you want it. Hasn’t anyone ever told you that?” He cocked his head at her, while Chloe tried to catch snowflakes. Renee smiled at Chloe but gave him a hard look.

“Of course I know that. I’m just saying—”

“And so am I.”

Silence stretched between them as they both processed what’d been said, and just as John was thinking he’d said too much and perhaps should’ve kept his opinion to himself, they arrived at the small hill John had had in mind.

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Renee asked, peering anxiously down the gentle slope as John put Chloe on her feet near her sisters. “I mean, it looks a little steep for the girls.”

John chuckled. “Chloe could go down this hill by herself. I’ll set up the track and then we’ll take turns taking the girls down. Okay? It’s completely safe. I promise.” And then he gave her a wide—almost daring—grin. Why? He hadn’t a clue but her reaction was worth the confusion.

RENEE FELT A SUBTLE JUMP in her heartrate at the smile playing on John’s lips and her imagination kicked into overdrive at the worst moment. Pulling her gaze away with obvious effort, she glanced back down the hill and then at her girls. “All right…I guess that’d be okay. How are you going to make the track?”

“That’s part of the fun. I’ll pave the way so that when we go down with the girls, we have something to stick to. Sort of like a road.”

She didn’t have a clue as to what he was talking about but she was willing to watch and see. “Be my guest, road master. Carry on. We’ll sit back and watch as you crack your head open.”

John’s bark of laughter surprised her and she smiled in spite of herself. “Watch and learn, city girl,” he said.

Were they—good Lord—almost flirting with each other?

Maybe a tad, a small voice answered, encouraging her to continue playing, which she obliged with little resistance.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she retorted, her smile growing, then gestured. “We’re waiting…”

“Right. Step aside, females. Watch the Toboggan King work his magic.”

Renee laughed, enjoying seeing this different side of the man she swore she’d never like, and picked up Chloe. “I hope my cell phone works out here,” she said to her youngest daughter in a conspiratorial tone. “Because I sure as hell can’t carry him if he goes and breaks himself.”

John looked back at her. “Ye of little faith…”

Chloe giggled and pointed as John positioned himself on the sled at the top of the hill and shoved off. Renee gasped as he skimmed the snow and left behind a sleek trail that looked smooth as ice before slowing to a stop at the bottom, safe and sound and grinning from ear to ear.

Oh, he shouldn’t do that. Who knew there was a Colgate smile—blindingly white—hidden behind that stern scowl? It was as if she were seeing him for the first time and that was patently ridiculous but, hey, it was the truth and she was never much of a liar, anyway. Million watt. Straight, white teeth. What a killer smile. A lady killer, that is. She drew a shaky breath, fitted a tremulous smile to her own lips and tried to let the moment of insanity fade without drawing too much attention to the odd flutter and quiver she was feeling on the inside.

As he trudged back up the hill, he said, “I can’t believe I’d forgotten how much fun that is. Evan and I used to spend whole days crafting these amazing trails for the sled, going so far as to make jumps, too. Okay, who’s next? Alexis? How about you and me? We’ll show these kids how it’s done.”

Alexis, interest piqued in spite of her earlier bad attitude, agreed readily and climbed in front of John as he wrapped his arms around her to tuck his feet. “Hold on, this train is moving fast,” he called out as the toboggan started the slow descent and quickly picked up speed.

Renee laughed at the delighted shriek Alexis let out and John’s accompanying deep-throated laughter. A warmth that had nothing to do with her wool coat filled her and Renee, for a second, lost herself in the idyllic scene before her. She wondered why John never married and had a family of his own. He seemed to be a natural with kids, though at first glance she’d never have guessed by his surly attitude. John was an enigma that Renee had to admit she was fairly curious in figuring out.

Alexis and John made their way back up the hill, cheeks a ruddy pink from the cold, and for the first time since she’d seen her daughter again, she wore a smile instead of a frown. It lit up her features from within and her daughter’s natural beauty transformed her young face to one that would surely break hearts someday. Renee could only hope that her daughter wouldn’t make the same mistakes as she’d made, falling in love with the wrong man, giving up her hopes and dreams, and lastly, giving up on herself. Shaking off the sad thoughts, she focused on the joy of the moment and soon her spirits lifted as she watched Taylor hopping up and down. “My turn! My turn!”

“I’ll go down with you,” Renee volunteered, even though she was a little leery of the whole idea of flying down the hill with nothing more than her feet for brakes.

Renee settled into the back and John placed Taylor in front. With a gentle push, they started the descent, which at first was pretty sedate but then it was like being on a Disneyland thrill ride without the benefit of being strapped in. Taylor squealed in delight and within seconds Renee was doing the same.

Who knew hurtling headlong down a monster hill could be so thrilling?

“Let’s go again!” Taylor exclaimed, pulling impatiently on Renee’s hand as she dragged the toboggan back up the hill.

“You bet!”

And so they spent the better half of the day slipping and sliding, laughing and giggling until they were winded and exhausted and barely able to drag their bodies back to the house for some much needed hot apple cider and hot chocolate.

And Renee couldn’t remember when she’d had so much fun with such an unlikely partner. She slanted a short look at John as he walked beside her, pulling the toboggan with Chloe riding on his shoulders. Maybe there was more to John Murphy than immediately met the eye.

Just maybe, she might be in a mind to find out.

Chapter Nine

WHILE JOHN WORKED ON the hot cider and chocolate, Renee helped the girls out of their wet and snow-caked clothing and into soft pajamas and slippers.

“These look warm,” Renee observed casually of the girls’ pajamas. “Did you pick these out?”

“Yep. On the ’net,” Taylor said, wiggling with delight into her horse-patterned top. “Mr. John said there’s no mall anywhere near here and he hates to deal with the people so Mr. John had Grammy buy our stuff on his computer.”

“That was nice of him to buy you girls some pj’s.”

Alexis nodded but it was obvious she wasn’t going to elaborate for Renee’s benefit. Thankfully, Taylor wasn’t exactly a locked box when it came to safeguarding information.

“We didn’t have any clothes ’cept for the ones that we was wearing the night we came and Mr. John said they weren’t fit to line a dog’s bed. My jeans had holes in them,” Taylor said. “But now, I got lots of jeans with no holes and I love my new shoes.”

Renee made a mental note to talk to John about the purchases made thus far. It wasn’t right for him to foot the bill. She’d have to find out how much he’d spent so she could make arrangements to pay him back.

But for the time being, the girls were running from the room toward the kitchen, squealing and laughing as they called out for their warm drinks.

Renee hung back a moment as she gazed about the room that her girls had taken over. It was much like the rest of the house, masculine in its decor, but somehow her girls had put their stamp on things with small accents. A Little Mermaid lamp here, a pink throw blanket tossed casually on the bed over there, and lots of clothes strewn about that were certainly the sign of little girl territory. It was the nicest place they’d ever lived and it hurt that Renee hadn’t been the one to provide it for them.

Smoothing the wrinkles from the comforter, she wondered if John would let her buy some girly sheets for their bed. But as soon as the thought crossed her mind, she discarded it. There was no sense in buying sheets for a bed they were only going to be in temporarily. Swallowing a sigh at the fight she’d have on her hands the day the girls had to say goodbye to the ranch and to their Mr. John, Renee shelved the unhappy thoughts and pasted a bright smile on her lips for her daughters’ benefit.

They weren’t leaving today. Her aunt used to tell her, don’t borrow trouble from tomorrow when there was happiness to be found in today.

Good advice, Renee realized, for she really didn’t want to think about that day, either.

LATER THAT NIGHT, AFTER copious amounts of hot chocolate, cider, a dinner of steak and potatoes, games of Uno, and after the girls had been tucked into bed exhausted from the day’s activities, John felt himself reluctant to say good-night to the one woman in the world he ought to steer clear of.

Funny how those things work.

“I guess I should turn in, too,” Renee said, although she wasn’t making a move toward the door just yet. He took that as a sign that she was hesitant for her own reasons and much to his shame, he jumped at it.

“Come sit a minute,” he suggested, gesturing toward the crackling fire in the hearth. The dancing light threw soft shadows into the living room that offset the eerie glow from the snow-packed window. “There’s no need to run off just because the girls aren’t here. I don’t bite.”

She smiled. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure that I don’t bite or am I sure that I wouldn’t mind some company?”

“Um, both.”

He chuckled and followed her to the sofa. “I think the girls had a really good day and I want to thank you for making that effort for them. I get the feeling that playing in the snow isn’t your idea of a good time on most days.”

“It’s not but I didn’t realize it could be so much fun, not to mention one heck of a workout. I think muscles I never knew I had are going to be protesting tomorrow morning.”

He smiled but his overactive imagination had already snagged the opportunity to be distracting and the effort was forced. Stop thinking about her curves, he instructed his brain, searching wildly for something else to fill the space in his head. Think of taxes, the fence that needs mending—anything! “Tell me a bit about yourself,” he suggested and she faltered, the light fading quickly from her eyes. “You don’t have to. I’m just a little curious about the woman—”

“Who left her kids behind?” she interrupted sharply, moving to leave but he stopped her with a firm hand.

“No, that’s not what I was going to say. Are you always in a habit of jumping to conclusions?”

She bit her lip. “Lately. I guess. What were you going to say?”

“Just that I’m curious to know more about the woman who is nothing like I thought she was.”

Renee settled back on the sofa as she said, “What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re a bit of a wild card, if you know what I mean. Unpredictable. What I knew about you was that you left your girls behind for reasons I don’t know but then you’ve shown your fierce determination to get them back. To win their love. Something tells me that there’s more to Renee Dolling, deep down. Tell me about that woman.”

She blushed, and in the soft light with her wind-chapped lips and burnished cheeks, she bloomed into an incomparable beauty right before his eyes. He resisted the pull, the urge to sample those lips, to nibble along her collarbone and taste the silken skin, but the effort cost him.

She cleared her throat and glanced away. “You give me too much credit. I’m just a mother who made a terrible mistake who’s trying to fix it. Contrary to what it may look like, my girls mean everything to me. They’re all I have. I married Jason right out of high school. We were big dreamers with even bigger plans. Unfortunately, neither one of us had the wherewithal to figure out how to make those dreams a reality. And then, I got pregnant.”

“So Alexis wasn’t planned I take it.”

“None of the girls were planned,” Renee said drily. “But they were the joy of my life. I was just too…” she drew a deep breath “…too drunk most of the time to realize it.”

“Drunk?” An echo of her admission in court about rehab came back to him.

She met his stare. “Yeah. Drunk. I was…I mean, I am an alcoholic. That’s why I left.”

He digested her admission in silence, taking a moment to let it sink in. “What did you ex-husband think about you wanting to get sober?” he asked.

She smiled without humor. “What did he think? He tried to talk me out of it. Jason was constantly trying to get me to drink because when I drank I forgot how I wanted to get away from him. I’d been trying to leave him for almost a year when I got pregnant with Chloe.”

“So you were still having sex with him even though you wanted to leave…”

“That’s a little personal, don’t you think?” Renee’s mouth hardened.

“I’m just trying to understand, you know…connect the dots,” he said by way of apology.

“If you figure out my twisted path from then to now, leave a breadcrumb trail. Sometimes I still don’t know how I got here,” she retorted with a trace of bitterness. Then she sighed and shook her head in answer to his bold question. “No. I wasn’t.”

Dawning came quickly. “Chloe isn’t your husband’s child.”

A long moment passed before Renee slowly shook her head again.

“Yet he agreed to raise her as his own?”

“He thought it would make me stay and it did…for a while. But the drinking and the fighting just got worse and worse…until the night I blacked out and woke up with a gash in my forehead and the girls crying in the backseat of my car. I’d tried to drive away with them and I was smashed.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t kill someone.”

“I know that. That’s why I knew I had to leave in order to get sober. There was a rehab facility with an opening but I couldn’t take the kids with me. I told Jason I had to get sober for our marriage. I lied. But it was the only way he’d agree to take care of the kids. I was in for two months and toward the end of my stay, I finally told Jason when he came for visitation that I wanted a divorce. I never expected him to split with the kids. I thought he might try to intimidate me into staying with him but when he didn’t, I just assumed he agreed with me that it was over. I got out and realized they were gone. Up until that day I found them here, I’d been looking for them ever since.”

“And Chloe’s father?”

Shame burned in her cheeks as she answered, “Never knew him. It was a one-night stand that I barely remember.”

John leaned back into the sofa and exhaled softly. It was a lot to take in. Renee admitted to her mistakes and didn’t flinch from the truth even if she hated her part in it. He had to respect that even if he didn’t understand.

“You should’ve told the judge all this,” he said quietly. “It might’ve made a difference in the outcome.”

Her mouth twisted in a sad, wry grin. “Don’t you remember? I tried. He wasn’t interested in hearing what I had to say. He took one look at me and wrote me off as a bad mother who abandoned her kids. Just like everyone else in this town who knows my situation, which seems like just about half the population.”

Renee misconstrued his silence as condemnation and ice returned to her voice as she said, “I can’t change who I was…only who I am now. If you can’t deal with that, that’s your problem.” She rose stiffly and walked to the back door as if to leave but John wasn’t ready to end the night on a sour note.

“Hold on now,” he said, hurrying after her. She stopped and he could see the hurt in her eyes even though she was trying to hide it. He reached out and put his hand on the door to keep her from storming out. “There you go jumping to conclusions again. Bad habit,” he murmured, distracted by the soft heave of her chest and the gentle parting of her lips as she stared up at him. He blinked away the fuzz in his brain but his thoughts were foggy from being so close to her. Damn, she smelled good—earthy and sweet, like fresh alfalfa hay on a summer day. Where was he going with that thought train? Off track. He paused to give himself a mental shake. “I didn’t mean to rile you up,” he said.

She ran the tip of her tongue along her bottom lip as if she were nervous and said, “Well, you did. Rile me up,” she added with a fair amount of shake in her voice, making him wonder if she was struggling with the same odd assortment of inappropriate feelings, too. He hoped so. He’d hate to realize he was traveling a one-way street. She swallowed. “But I accept your apology,” she said, lifting her chin.

Her lips were so close, her mouth so tempting…he jerked and took a step away. When he grinned, it almost hurt. “Good,” he said. “It’s better if we get along. For the kids.”

“Where have I heard that before…” she said, but her voice was strained. “All right then. Good night.”

He watched her cross to the guesthouse and waited until her door closed before he shut himself in his own bedroom, feeling oddly discontented. Jerking his shirt out from the waistband of his jeans he pulled it off and over his head to toss in the laundry basket. He’d wanted to kiss her. And yet, he knew that was a bad idea. Laying a lip-lock on the one woman who was so not available was pure lunacy and an exercise in futility. And he wasn’t usually the kind of man who dabbled in stupid ventures.

When he was down to his boxers, he climbed into the bed and punched the pillows a few times in an attempt to fluff them more to his liking but it was really just a way to blow off steam. He wanted her. Wanted her in the worst way. He pushed at his hardened erection in annoyance. Down, boy. Nothing happening for you.

Think taxes, mending fence—yeah, that didn’t work the first time around, and it didn’t work now. He turned onto his stomach, grimacing at the discomfort from his groin and closed his eyes, determined to put the whole incident behind him and just go to sleep.

And it almost worked. But just as he hovered between asleep and awake, Renee floated into his mental theater and instead of wearing a look of uncertainty, she smiled suggestively over her shoulder and beckoned for him to come to her as her robe parted and slid to the floor in a discarded heap.

He drifted into slumber on a tortured groan.

RENEE PACED HER SMALL living room unable to sleep. She twisted her hands in agitation, not quite sure what she’d hoped would happen but definitely disappointed that nothing had.

Yet, the very fact that she’d looked into his eyes and felt a tingle zing from her stomach to her feminine parts made her extremely wary. She wasn’t supposed to be attracted to John Murphy. The man had complicated her life in a way that should make him Public Enemy #1 in her eyes but she was slowly seeing him in a different light.

And that was not good. Better to keep the battle lines firmly drawn. They were not on the same side. They were simply being civil to one another for the sake of the kids. Kinda like being stuck in a loveless marriage…yeah…she knew what that felt like.

This year was not going to be Renee Dolling’s year of living dangerously but rather the year of practical and sound decisions that do not encourage her to drink. Okay, so the thought wasn’t something she could put on an inspirational button but it had to keep her on the straight and narrow. Thus far, it had. And that was saying something after all the stress and disappointment she’d endured while searching for her girls.

She sighed. Technically, she could date. She was past the prescribed time of no dating after making her commitment to sobriety but somehow keeping her distance seemed so much safer for everyone involved. No entanglements. No conflicts. No…sex.

That’s where the pacing came in. Renee stopped and rubbed her palms down her jeans to wipe away the sudden clammy feeling. Sex. She missed it. Needed it. God, craved it.

But not with John Murphy.

Anyone but him. Why not, a voice whispered in her head and she nearly barked in laughter. Why? Because that man would likely brand her soul if he so much as touched her in a sexual manner. If they breached that intimate barrier there’d be nothing stopping her from falling headlong in love with him. Was that a bad thing? Yes! She didn’t want to love John Murphy. She wanted to leave Emmett’s Mill and put this whole awful chapter of her life behind her. She wanted to start a new life with the girls somewhere else. Was that so much to ask?

Her hormones seemed to think so because even as she berated herself for shooting periodic looks of intense longing toward John’s house, she couldn’t stop wondering what it might feel like to sample just one taste of that firm, sexy mouth.

Climbing into bed, she closed her eyes with an unhappy frown and tried to ignore the twisting tendril of achy tension that taunted her lady bits without mercy, reminding her that no matter how hard she may try, her curiosity was not fading but simply becoming stronger.

Well, she knew what curiosity did for the cat. She just needed to keep that reminder front and center in her mind when she started to feel her defenses drop around that man. That way her panties wouldn’t drop, as well.

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