Calmness For Beginners, Step By Step To Find Inner Balance Through Relaxation And Habits:

Your Personal Guide For Ways To Achieve Inner Peace

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Copyright © 2018 - Madeleine Wilson

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Calmness: Find inner balance through relaxation and habits

The inner balance

Dissatisfaction

Stress and the physical consequences

Stress and the psychological consequences

The connection between body and mind

How inner balance shows itself in everyday life

Resilience

What causes the inner balance to falter?

The external factors change

Finding out unconscious thought patterns

Obstructive thoughts: Inability

Hindering Thoughts: Perfectionism

Obstructive thoughts: Boundlessness

Obstructive thoughts: Showing commitment

Obstructive thoughts: Self-doubt

Converting obstructive thoughts

Integrating new habits into everyday life

Accepting a new habit

Application of different methods

Methods for a stronger inner balance: Relaxation techniques

Yoga Nidra

Daily Movement

Qi Gong

Walks

Tai-Chi Chuan

Creativity

Binaural Beats

Mindfulness Meditation

Progressive muscle relaxation

Showing humour and rediscovering your own laughter

Methods for a stronger inner balance: Reflection

Increase Self-Esteem

Finding acceptance and perceiving the feedback

Practice a positive attitude - Look at things from a different angle

Abandoning self-pity and the role of victim

Keep a stress log

Gratitude and pleasure

Methods for a stronger inner balance: Everyday structures

The word "must" and its relatives

"No!" say

Abolish multitasking

Integrating breaks into everyday life

Re-establish priorities

Goals and Tasks

Breaking down stuck patterns of thinking

Revolutionizing sleep

Calmness: Find inner balance through relaxation and habits

Maintaining inner balance is not always easy and yet so desirable. Because who wouldn't want a deeply relaxed inner posture, even if the milk flocculates in the morning, the track is once again overcrowded and the to-do list becomes longer and longer instead of shorter. You cannot change these external stress factors directly through inner balance, because some situations or circumstances cannot be changed for the better overnight. But you can change your attitude towards these factors and still make a big change in your everyday life possible.

Imagine what it would be like if the meter-long queue at the checkout didn't put you under pure stress anymore or if the next traffic jam didn't let the adrenaline rise in you? Inner balance is not about suppressing negative emotions about these events - that would be highly unhealthy - but rather about changing the way they are evaluated. In the future you will no longer sit behind the wheel in a traffic jam, angry and scolding, but use this opportunity to listen to the radio play you have started, to call your sister or to sing along loudly to your favourite songs.

Of course, there are many other ways to express inner balance. The closer we are to ourselves, i.e. more attentive to our needs and less guided by the outside world, the more relaxation we can experience. That includes "no." To learn to say, to re-evaluate circumstances and to find out what you really want regardless of external influences. In this book you will learn how inner balance in everyday life can look like and how you can find your centre! I hope you enjoy reading, learning and trying it out!

The inner balance

An advantage of inner balance is obvious: We experience our everyday life more relaxed and can deal better with stressful situations. We feel this in more optimism and a generally better mood in everyday life. By changing the assessment of stressful situations, our thoughts about these situations change, which in turn affects our emotional world. The result is that you are more emotionally stable and happier all around through inner balance.

Consequences of prolonged stress on the psychological level can be depression or burnout, for example. But it is not on the psychological level that something changes through inner stability, but also on the physical level. In stressful situations, or situations that we perceive as stress and that we evaluate as negative, our blood pressure rises and adrenaline is released. This may be advantageous in dangerous situations, as it allows us to better prepare for a possible escape or defense - our system is then on "alert". You can imagine that everyday physical processes come to a standstill, because the potential danger and survival of these is naturally in the foreground. Permanent stress is a considerable physical strain that can lead to various diseases of the cardiovascular system and the gastrointestinal tract.

Through inner balance you manage to be psychologically and physically healthier in the long run, to feel more happiness in everyday life and to concentrate better on your own needs. The perception of one's own needs is a step towards a stronger inner balance and in most cases this improves not only the relationship to ourselves, but also the relationship to our fellow human beings.

What are the advantages of inner balance?

- They feel more happiness in everyday life.

- You know your needs and can vouch for them.

- You have a healthier relationship with yourself and your fellow human beings.

- They are mentally and physically protected from stress-related illnesses.

- You're in a generally better mood.

- You will learn to change or re-evaluate situations in your favour.

These are just a few examples, of course, and you will probably discover many more individual advantages of inner balance in the course of this book and while learning inner balance.

Dissatisfaction

Dissatisfaction is probably the opposite of inner balance. But why are we unhappy? For example, when our expectations of certain situations or people are not met or we cannot meet our own expectations. These unfulfilled expectations are the expression of an imbalance between the actual state and the desired state. How is this target state defined? Through our desires and ideas, which we in turn determine on a mental level. Both conscious and unconscious thought patterns play a role in shaping our expectations. Perhaps in a situation with unfulfilled expectations you perceive your thoughts less strongly than your dissatisfaction expressed through emotions. We are often unaware that we shape our emotions through our thoughts. But it's not that far-fetched, because a messed up meeting can cause different people to get very different ratings. Now for the positive news: We can shape our thoughts and thus also influence our emotions.

Applied to inner balance, this means that as soon as we provide for relaxed and balanced thoughts, this will be reflected in our emotions. Dissatisfaction is a momentary negative emotion that is given a place in our lives to varying degrees. By the way, this dissatisfaction is neither negative nor positive in itself, we only evaluate it negatively. How about, as a first step towards more inner balance, seeing this dissatisfaction as what it actually is: an indicator of a momentary imbalance.

In this way we have the opportunity to change our lives, for the better! This dissatisfaction is a great motivator to finally break down old structures and break new ground, to welcome personal development into one's own life. Let us now take a look at what arises in the event of long-term dissatisfaction: stress! From the outset, a distinction must be made between distress and eustress. Distress is negative stress and eustress is positive stress. How does this distinction arise? Through your assessment of the stress factor!

Stress and the physical consequences

Entertaining stress usually has no great physical consequences. However, it becomes critical when a stress factor is constantly present in everyday life over a long period of time. Of course, our handling of the stress factor is crucial and as soon as we are internally balanced, we can face various challenges that were previously assessed as negative stress factors in a completely different way. If we experience a stress situation that is classified as negative, we are usually under great pressure, which results in the release of the stress hormones cortisol, norepinephrine and adrenaline. These hormones increase our performance for a short moment and the physical processes that are not relevant for this are neglected. We consider this situation to be stressful and dangerous, our body reacts accordingly to this situation. In the early history of mankind, stress situations were above all those situations in which the actual survival was at stake. Today's stressful situations usually no longer have anything to do with the struggle for survival, but our body still reacts with an intuitive fight/escape reaction, i.e. the release of the well-tried stress hormones. So the longer a stressful situation lasts, the less chance there is of breaking down these stress hormones and we enter a chronic state of tension. No human survives long in panic mode or at peak performance level. On a physical level, a long-term state of tension can be expressed through exhaustion, chronic fatigue, irritable stomach, muscle cramps, irritable bowel syndrome, muscle tension, allergies, nervousness, grinding of teeth, nail chewing, circulatory problems, dizziness, heart disease and the like. The list of possible physical symptoms is long and can look quite different for you than for me.

So do something good for your health and ensure more inner balance in your everyday life. You will see that after a short time, thanks to a strengthened immune system, you are less susceptible to diseases, feel fitter and more vital all around, need less sleep and your digestion functions excellently. Some scientists attribute the reduction of inflammatory processes and cancer growth, for example, to the reduction of stress factors. Your physical long- term health should be a great motivator to provide more balance! By the way: stress typically leaves grim wrinkles on your face - so you will be able to see your inner balance!

Stress and the psychological consequences

But not only on the physical level long-term stress has consequences, but also on the mental level. Under constant strain we may feel helpless, determined by others, overwhelmed and listless. Some people react more and more irritated, are in a bad mood and can hardly concentrate anymore. In addition to poor concentration, creative blockages or forgetfulness can also occur. Sleep disorders, increased alcohol consumption, listlessness, sexual frustration, eating disorders or the inability to relax can also be consequences of prolonged stress situations. ADS, ADHD, burnout and anxiety disorders can also be secondary diseases due to prolonged stress situations. These are an alarm signal that the recovery phases after stress are not long enough. Thus the hormone level of the body cannot regulate itself and the maintenance measures of the body cannot begin. On the psychological level it means that the stress-inducing thoughts, which are usually based on fear, do not come to an end. On the one hand, overburdening due to the combination of career, leisure and family can be an external factor for stress and on the other hand, a negative inner attitude towards different situations can lead to internally produced stress.

Many people realize only late that they are in a stress cycle, which results from the fact that stress and negative thoughts influence each other. The deeper a person slides into the stress cycle, the more difficult it becomes to change the mental attitude to "inner balance", as the stress intensifies the negative thoughts, which in turn intensify the stress.

The connection between body and mind

Fortunately, our body signals us every second what it needs. Unfortunately, most of us have forgotten to listen to these sensitive messages or can no longer perceive them. So one morning we wake up with horrible neck tensions and wonder why we suddenly feel this strong pain. Suddenly, however, these pains do not come at all, we did not want to admit the previous less intrusive signs and suppressed them.

But why do we no longer follow our body feeling and listen to our innate instincts? Because in dangerous situations it can make sense to put your own feelings or aches and pains aside for a short moment in order to survive. When we are in a state of stress, this is exactly what happens: we no longer pay attention to our feelings and physical signs. Then lunch must be cancelled when time is short due to constant deadline pressure. The stress to which we are exposed in everyday life (or which we allow to happen!) is comparable to a real life- threatening situation for our body. If this stress condition persists for a longer period of time, we also ignore our physical and emotional needs over a longer period of time to ensure survival in an achievement-oriented society.

In this way, we distance ourselves more from our body every day until it finally makes it clear with clear signals that can no longer be ignored that the emotional and physical limits have been reached. Through the various exercises presented in this book, you will give your body and mind a well-deserved break and learn to pay more attention to your physical and mental health. You will notice that, over time, you will be able to act less through rational considerations and more through your stronger intuition. This means, for example, that you no longer know that you should drink at least one litre of water today, but that you feel your thirst. In this way you also feel when your physical and emotional limits have been reached - this is inner balance.

How inner balance shows itself in everyday life

So what does a day with inner balance look like? Now imagine the five biggest stress factors in your daily life and think about what it would be like without them. The ringing of the alarm clock would not cause you to be in a bad mood, a missed train would not make you go off your feet and a discussion with your unloved boss would not bring you to the brink of madness. Instead, the ringing of the alarm clock means a new day full of surprises and opportunities awaits you, the missed train is the perfect opportunity to pass by the bakery and dust off a second breakfast and the discussion with the boss is a way to straighten out the relationship between your boss and you and possibly explore new career prospects.

Here the everyday circumstances have not changed, but the attitude towards them and this means a big change for your emotional condition. As soon as a certain degree of inner balance is reached, it is also less difficult to change stress-inducing external factors sustainably. If you are relaxed, you are more likely to be prepared for a change of job or a spatial change, so you are open to new ideas. In most cases, prolonged stress often brings with it the feeling of "not being able to see the forest for the trees" or not being able to enjoy life itself. Inner balance also gives you the opportunity to feel grateful for the smallest things in life, to be happier, to master challenges better and to lead a more self-determined life.

Resilience

The small word "stress" has long since become a much-used fashion term, and not without reason. The number of mental illnesses due to overuse, especially in the workplace, is constantly increasing and more and more people are feeling the consequences of prolonged stress at the deterioration of their mental and physical health. In recent years, the number of days lost due to mental illness has risen dramatically - and continues to rise. It is therefore not surprising that scientists are increasingly asking themselves what helps people become more resistant to stress: Resilience - a seemingly invisible force that makes some people incredibly resilient.

The term originates from materials science and describes a substance that returns to its original shape after heavy exposure. In the psychological field, resilience thus describes the ability to find one's way back to oneself even after heavy stress, to find one's way back to inner balance and to set healthy limits in dealing with stressful situations. We find ourselves increasingly in a life situation in which we have ceased to listen to our physical, intuitive signals, but rather to orient ourselves predominantly towards the messages we receive from outside and make these our own behavioural repertoire.

Already in childhood the foundations for this resistance are laid. What is important here is a reliable person of trust, the assumption of responsibility in line with development, the opportunity for personal growth, continuous support, strong role models, personal freedom and healthy boundaries. Of course, not every human being has exactly these resources available in his childhood and accordingly we are all differently resistant when it comes to dealing with stress. Fortunately, we as adults also have the possibility to strengthen our resistance through various methods.

What causes the inner balance to falter?

We are balanced when we are completely with ourselves and pursue our individual goals, live in our rhythm and follow our own ideas - in other words, live very attentively. Of course, we can look for the reasons for our own imbalance in external factors, but this usually only helps us to a limited extent. You find your job too nerve- wracking? Then you may have been thinking about changing your job for some time. If you are already in a bad mood when thinking about your colleagues, a new workplace with a new environment can help. Can: After all, you don't know whether the new colleagues are really nicer. So in most cases it is not enough to change the external factors that contribute to a stressful everyday life, but a large part of our inner balance depends on internal factors, i.e. thought constructs.

Accordingly, this book is dedicated to external factors and their optimization, but above all to changing unconscious and conscious thought processes. If ten people wait at a bus stop and the bus seems to be waiting forever, this does not cause frustration for all ten people and in this case these ten people cannot change the external stress factor (the bus arriving too late). One or the other may call a taxi, some scold each other and others don't seem to stress the situation. So the secret lies not in the situation itself, but in how we deal with it. There are various mental constructs that contribute to a stressful everyday life. In this chapter we will take a closer look at the most common of these mental constructs, but first we will look at the changes in external factors.

The external factors change

There are people who can sit in a cloud of mosquitoes and still enjoy the sunset. You don't have to be this kind of person unless you want to become a Buddhist monk. What I want to say is that there are situations in which it is worthwhile to change the external factors. For some this conscious change may seem like an escape, for others it is the basis for a relaxed everyday life. It is much harder to enjoy the sunset when you are bitten by a mosquito every minute. It may help to find a new seat or to use mosquito spray. Even if the change of mental constructs is very effective, we can still make the external factors as pleasant as possible.

Take at least 30 minutes to write down which external factors tempt you to cherish negative emotions and to go into a state of stress. This may be the eternally nagging boss, the unhealthy diet, the noisy neighbours, the broken car or the missing holiday. In a second step, consider which of these factors you could change for the better. Changing these factors ultimately has an impact on your thinking. Let us assume, for example, that the seemingly endless chaos in your home regularly causes you stress. Of course you could now meditate on it and come to terms with the situation, but you could also radically get rid of it. When you clean out the mess, many emotions will come up and you will consider new strategies to avoid the next chaos. You thus create the basis for more order, take the additional step of changing your behaviour (less shopping) and give yourself the opportunity to deal with the reasons for the chaos. And exactly this kind of reflection is the third step: How could the uncomfortable