Contents

MAYA - ILLUSION

Contact Me

DEDICATION

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

1 A BOLT FROM THE BLUE

2 THE VISA RUN TO LAOS

3 The Death of a Neighbour

4 THE FRUIT GARDEN

5 ONE HUNDRED DAYS

6 THE FAMILY BUSINESSES

7 SCHOOL SUMMER HOLIDAYS

8 SONGKHRAN

9 AYR'S BUSINESS PLANS

10 TOPPING OUT

11 RISING PROSPERITY FOR BAAN SUAY?

12 HIGH SOCIETY

13 LOCAL FALANG COMMUNITY

14 ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

15 IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH

16 A TREE FALLS...

17 THE BUSINESS TRIP

18 CRAIG'S BOOK

19 WOOLLEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

20 THE PARTY SEASON BEGINS

21 A CHANGE IN FORTUNE

22 THE SANUK EMPLOYMENT AGENCY

23 OPERATION SALVAGE

24 CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR

25 MAYA - ILLUSION

GLOSSARY

THE LADY IN THE TREE

1 TROUBLE AT T’ MILL

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

MAYA - ILLUSION

Book Three in the Series

Behind The Smile

The Story of Lek, a Bar Girl in Pattaya

by

OWEN JONES

Copyright © 2020 Owen Jones

Maya – Illusion

Behind The Smile: The Story of Lek, a Bar Girl in Pattaya

by Owen Jones

Published by Megan Publishing Services

(http://meganthemisconception.com)

The right of Owen Jones to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988. The moral right of the author has been asserted.

In this work of fiction, the characters, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or they are used entirely fictitiously.

Conditions of Sale

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

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Novels in the:

Behind The Smile Series

The Story of Lek, a Bar Girl in Pattaya

Behind The Smile: Daddy's Hobby

ISBN: 978-1489558800

Behind The Smile: An Exciting Future

ISBN: 978-1483977690

Behind The Smile: Maya – Illusion

ISBN: 978-1491201862

Behind The Smile: The Lady in the Tree

ISBN: 978-1502552198

Behind The Smile: Stepping Stones

(NaNoWriMo Winner 2013)

ISBN-13: 978-1505392647

Behind The Smile: Full Circle

(Coming October 2015)

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my wife and her family, who have always taken care of me in the most wonderful manner, affording me the time and space to take up this career of writing. No-one could have made me feel more welcome and part of the family than they have. I have loved every minute of my life in Thailand and the reason for that lies largely with them.

CONTENTS

1 A Bolt From the Blue

2 The Visa Run to Laos

3 The Death of a Neighbour

4 The Fruit Garden

5 One Hundred Days

6 The Family Businesses

7 School Summer Holidays

8 Songkhran

9 Ayr’s Business Plans

10 Topping Out

11 Rising Prosperity for Baan Suay

12 High Society

13 Local Falang Community

14 Another One Bites the Dust

15 In Sickness and in Health

16 A Tree Falls...

17 The Business Trip

18 Craig’s Book

19 Woollen Wedding Anniversary

20 The Party Season Begins

21 A Change in Fortune

22 The Sanuk Employment Agency

23 Operation Salvage

24 Christmas

25 Maya - Illusion

Glossary

The Lady in The Tree

About the Author

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The cover girl’s name is Chalita.

Please send any queries about work to me and I will forward them to her.

Owen Jones

1 A BOLT FROM THE BLUE

Lek was waiting in Craig’s study.

She had been building up the courage for this moment for days and at the precise moment that she had chosen to do it, he had gone to the toilet. She knew that if he didn’t get back soon, she would be in tears before she could tell him her news.

She heard the flush go, so she steeled herself, but then the shower started. He would have to pick just this moment to have a shower too, she thought, but to be fair, he didn’t know that she wanted to speak to him. They spoke so seldom to each other these days.

Lek started to dust his desk with her handkerchief and tidy his bits and pieces for something to distract her, but she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes already. What the Hell was he doing in there?

She went into the kitchen and poured Craig his second daily cup of coffee, took it back into the office, cleared a space for it among the clutter on his desk and carefully put it down.

Clack! The bolt was thrown on the bathroom door with the sound of a rifle being cocked.

As he came into the office moments later, he was surprised to see Lek standing there – she would normally have left the house hours ago to embark on her quotidian routine tour of friends for coffee and then lunch.

“Hello, telak, how are you this morning?” He kissed her on the temple and sat down. “Thanks for the coffee. Just what I need.”

That was it, she was crying. Tears flowed down her face although unaccompanied by any sounds of sobbing at all.

“Oh, Craig, my darling! I am so unhappy... I think that I must go back to Pattaya and start work in Daddy’s Hobby again, if Beou will have me. I am so sorry, my dear.”

“I don’t understand... ‘if Beou will have you’. We have talked about your going to the city to get a job. The costs of our living in a city would outweigh what you could earn...”

“No, dear. I don’t mean that we go to Pattaya... I mean that I go alone. I can live in a cheap room; share with other girls, like I did before. You... you cannot come with me. You must stay here...”

“What? You are telling me that you want to go back to Pattaya to work in a bar and that I should just sit here and wait at home?”

“Yes, but not wait... I will not come back... You can stay here... get a divorce.... go… wherever you like. You can find a new lady, a good lady to take care of you and I will... I don’t know what I will do, but it will be without you. I am so sorry.”

Once she had spoken, Lek regained her composure and the tears ceased to flow, but as the magnitude of what Lek has just said sank in, Craig began to cry.

It had been so unexpected. He had seen no signs. Not a dicky bird. He looked up at Lek, who was calmly staring back into his watery eyes.

“But why, Lek? What has brought this on now? I just don’t understand.”

“I don’t know where to start, Craig, but I have been unhappy for some time. I expected more than this. I thought... I spent ten years waiting for my hero to rescue me and all the time I worked and put up with crap, but worked on and dreamed of a better life. Then I met you and I thought that my dreams had come true... I am not saying this well. It is not your fault, but I expected more and I want more than.... than this.

“We have been together for about eight years and married for five or six years, but I am poorer now than when I was working. I know that that it is not your fault, Craig, you work hard, but... well, you know, we have nothing and I don’t want to live like that.

“Soom has been at university for a year now and it costs... I want my daughter to go to university and I cannot see how we can afford it on the money you earn. I tried to better myself too… I went back to school, but there is no work for people like me here in Baan Suay. If we had a car, maybe I could get a job somewhere near, but... not have.

“I do not have a choice, Craig. My family means everything to me and my daughter more than all that put together. I am so sorry.”

Craig thought before replying, his tears had also dried up, “So, I do not count as family after eight years? How long does it take to become a member of your family if you’re not born Thai? You know that I gave up my friends and my family to come here – or at least I put them after you... and now you are saying ‘bye bye’? I can see that you want Soom to have a better life, so do I, but you also know that I sit here working for fifteen hours a day, while you go out and socialise or whatever.”

“I am not blaming you, my dear. You did a very brave thing to come to try to help me and my family, but it has not worked out and now we must move on. I am very sorry.”

“Way! I did not come here to rescue you and help your family, I came here because I loved you and thought you loved me. Helping your family was secondary to me. I always told you that I would do whatever I could to help your family and I have, not that they have ever asked for anything.”

“Yes, I know, but I did not understand the differences between falang and Thai then, same as you did not understand. It was just a big accident...”

“What? Us falling in love was a ‘big accident’? My coming over here, building a house that I will never own and working fifteen hours a day for eight years is just a ‘big accident’?

“Lek, Lek, Lek, you hurt me now very much...”

“OK, lovely accident, but now my daughter must have money and I don’t have. You have?... No? So I must go get. Or can you go get? If you cannot, I must. My mother cannot give, my family cannot give. You think that Soom must work on weekends and at night? She cannot make enough money in a hamburger bar to pay for university, so what you want her to do? Work in a bar same me before?

“I kill someone first. I steal from someone first... but I go to work first and kill and steal later... If you have a good idea, Craig, please tell me, because I don’t want to go away again.”

Now they were both crying and Craig stood up to hug his wife, his mind racing with possibilities to save their marriage.

After a few moments, Lek pulled away, “I am sorry, Craig, but it is no good getting close and crying. Something has to be done and if I am going to go away, this is not helping either of us. You understand why I must do this and I understand that you cannot help me.

“I will leave in two days. Do you want me to move out now?”

“No, no, not yet, Lek... I think that you ought to at least tell me the costs and the shortfall. I have never asked you because you always seemed to have everything in hand and now you hit me with this! Or do you actually want to go?”

“I do not lie to you, my husband, but it is true that I do not, or have not always told you the truth one hundred percent. I tried to many times, maybe every time in the beginning, but the language was between us and … well, it was easier not to.

“When I worked in Daddy’s Hobby, I did lots of things that I did not want to do because I had to do them. I do not want to say any more about that unless you ask me and that is your right, I think.

“Anyway, I saved some money for Soom’s education. Goong also left me 500,000 Baht when she died four or five years ago. I gave some of it to her family, but kept most of it.

“I don’t have much of it left now. I was bored here for years with nothing to do and gambled a lot of it away on cards. I paid Soom’s university fees last year and I have supplemented the money that you gave me for food for several years.

“Now, I cannot pay Soom’s university fees when they come up next year and cannot buy her the clothes, books and laptop that she needs right now to be comfortable with her studies. I don’t want her to look poor in university! She is the first person in my family to go to university and I want to give her every chance.

“That may mean losing you... but I will do it, if I have to, my darling, because I don’t know what else I can do.”

A few tears escaped her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away with her hand.

Craig was looking down at the beautifully-tiled floor, feeling like a total failure.

“So, you have paid the fees for now, right?” he said not meeting her eyes. “When do you need more money for Soom?”

“About six months. I pay university fees two times a year, but I give Soom money for her room and living every month.”

“So you have six months?”

“No, I must start working now to give Soom money every month and then more fees in six months. If I wait, it is too late.”

“OK, Lek... I wish that you had brought this up before, but, please give me a few hours to think about the problem, before you do anything quickly. Let’s say that you have... two weeks, eh? Can you wait two weeks?”

Lek nodded and put her hand on his shoulder, “Sure, I can wait two weeks.”

Craig was still shell-shocked. He put his hand to hers and patted it a few times, slowly. “I wish you had told me your problem before, Lek, I really do. Now, it’s hurry, hurry, hurry, but thanks for... Er, well, we have two weeks, eh? … What are your plans for today?”

“It has taken me days to say this... I don’t have any plans now. Do you?”

“No, but I know that right now, work is not the answer... Why don’t you go off to your mother’s and I’ll have a think?”

Lek was glad of the excuse to get out and be alone, and, having recovered somewhat from the initial shock, so was Craig.

After Lek had left, he finished his cold coffee in one, packed up his laptop and went to the shop where he did a lot of his thinking. The office was for slog work, but Nong’s shop was for deep cogitation, usually over a few ice-cold beers. Watching the people in the village coming and going, carrying out their daily lives had always had a calming, yet inspirational effect upon him.

He sat down at the one table outside the shop and waited for Nong to notice him. He had been drinking at Nong’s shop for eight years, but they still could not talk to each other in any meaningful way. Nong appeared not to have an aptitude for English and Craig had spent most of his time trying to earn money rather than learn Thai.

As he was staring out before himself, he heard Nong say, “Hello Mr. Craig, how are you today?” in Thai.

“Sabaai dee, kap - I’m fine thanks. Khun duay, mai? You too?”

“Yes, thank you. The beer is very cold today.”

Nong always said that, but then the beer was always cold too.

Craig slouched in the bench seat and stretched his feet out in front of himself. He thought with a smile, that if he smoked, this would be a two-pipe problem, as Sherlock Holmes would have said.

“Why hadn’t she mentioned it before? Why the sudden crisis? The real bottom line was, if she believed in karma, as she insisted she did, why did she think that she could change her daughter’s karma?” It did not make sense now, although Lek’s news had hit him like a bullet.

The problem was that Lek seemed to be sure that her only way forward was to go back to work in a bar. So, whether she was right or wrong in her religious philosophy, she would probably leave him in fourteen days.

Craig knew that Lek had an iron will. If that was what she had said she would do, that was what she would do, unless there was a very good reason not to. And the only reason that was good enough was money, so he needed a supply of money.

Or he needed to shed the chains that held him and Lek together – he needed to stop loving her.

Money or love?

That was the dilemma.

Lek had already decided that she would choose money, although not for entirely selfish reasons. Selfishness was in there though, he was sure. He knew that she would not be able to bear the shame of having to withdraw Soom from university for lack of funds.

Although that was the mechanics of the situation, it did not help his predicament. He loved Lek, but he was being offered an honourable way out. No-one would blame him for cutting and running now. Lek had told him that he was on his own.

Craig wondered for a little while whether Lek was offering him this easy exit because she had found someone new, but he dismissed the idea as much for lack of evidence as the fact that it would have hurt him too much to countenance it. He believed that Lek was genuinely concerned about her daughter’s future and that helped him with the next choice, which was whether he should stay or go.

That would take another beer. It was not that he didn’t want to stay. It was more a question of whether this problem would erupt again over an unrelated issue like Soom’s first home, Soom’s first car, Soom’s babies, when she had them, which she inevitably would. Soom had been brought up by her grandmother as had Lek and he knew that Lek was looking forward to the role in her turn.

Craig, however, was not, yet the likelihood of it coming to pass was only three or four years away.

Nong saw the empty bottle and swiftly brought another one.

The ultimate decision was between selling everything that he had left in the UK, looking after Soom’s children and staying with Lek in the village that he had come to call home or to call it a day and move on.

It was a tough one.

∞

Lek had gone to her Mum’s house, which was just over the lane from their place, less than half-way to Nong’s shop. She hadn’t discussed her predicament with anyone yet, because so much depended on Craig, but she was ready to bite the bullet and go back to work if things worked out that way.

She was prepared to accept her own bad Fate, but she was not prepared to allow Fate to affect Soom’s future, if she could do anything about it.

If Craig fell by the wayside, then so be it. The ball was in his court now. She had given him an out and a two-week period to come up with a solution. There was nothing more to do than steel herself again and wait for what her Karma would throw at her. She did care about Craig, but she cared more about Soom and she cared nothing for herself.

After the dreams she had had for and the nightmares she had had about Soom’s future over the last eighteen years, Lek was not about to leave anything to something as intangible as Fate. Her daughter might not be clever enough to pass the examinations, that was something else, but she would sit them, shortage of money notwithstanding.

She sat with her mother, but her mother could see that she was troubled, so she cut and peeled some fruit for them both and pretended to be busy until her daughter made the first move.

“What would you think if I moved to Bangkok, Mum, to be closer to Soom if she needs me? I think that I can be more use there than here now. What do you reckon?”

“I reckon that that is your decision, Lek, but what does Craig think about it? He is your husband and therefore the one you should be asking this question, not me.”

“Yes, I know, but... I’m just not sure...”

“I never followed you around when you were growing up. Did I do wrong? Why do you think that you have to be at your daughter’s side and not your husband’s?

“Soom has her own mistakes to make like we all did and still do – it is part of growing up. Will you be there when she meets her first lover too?”

“I would like to be, yes! And if he’s not good enough I’d...”

Lek could see her mother’s smiling eyes although no mirth showed around her mouth.

“You can only do what you can do. You could not be here for the first part of Soom’s life, but that is not so bad. I did my best and you were here for the last eight years. Soom is a good, level-headed, intelligent girl, now is the time to give her some headroom – let her practice what she has learned – don’t keep her hemmed in.

“She may start to think that you think that she’s stupid and you don’t want that do you? Not when she is in a big Bangkok university with all the rich kids. They will give her enough complexes already.

“What is your true concern?”

“Money, Mum, if I am honest. I want the university fees for the full, four-year term of the course in my bank account right now, so that I know that money will not stop her staying at university. I want to see it, in a bank book.”

“Yes, I see. We would all like enough money in the bank to be safe, but that is not how it is for working class people like us, unfortunately. What does Craig have to say about it all?”

She didn’t want to say that she hadn’t consulted him or that she was thinking seriously of going back to work, so she said, “He doesn’t want to live in Bangkok. Nor do I really, since I don’t know anyone there except Chalita and her husband and I couldn’t just hang around with them all the time. Sis has her own life to lead. Maybe I could live in Pattaya, it’s only an hour or so away.

“Craig doesn’t think we can afford to live in a city and he’s probably right. I would have to find a job to pay the rent and most of the university fees...”

“I see,” said her mother slowly. “Like that is it? How old are you now? Thirty-nine, forty? Not old certainly, but getting old to be doing some types of job, don’t you think? Your job opportunities would be limited by your qualifications, lack of experience and age, I imagine. What sort of work did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know Mum. I only know bar work and basic bookkeeping. Perhaps I could get a job as a cashier in a bar, or a receptionist in a hotel or working the till in a shop.”

“Don’t you need qualifications to be a bookkeeper these days? I think you do, unless your family gives you a job. Have you spoken to Beou about it?”

“No, not yet. I just told Craig and he’s gone to Nong’s to think about it and get drunk, I suppose. He took it rather badly although I did kind of hit him with it out of the blue.”

“It is a shock to me, I can’t imagine what he is going through. He gave up everything to come here to be with you. All his friends, his family, his connections... and now you are dumping him. Not a very nice prospect, is it? Now that he’s spent most of his money too. It makes you look heartless, my dear, although I know you are only thinking about the security of Soom’s future.

“However, you are married now and you and Craig must work as a team. This may sound like your concern alone, but it is not. We might not be able to help you financially, but we would miss you if you left again. It has been so..., so homely, like the good old days, having you around again for the last eight or nine years.

“Then there is Soom. Have you asked her about your idea of moving down with her? Perhaps she was looking forward to a lot more freedom. That is one of the perks of going away to study, isn’t it? To learn about life in the ‘real world’, learning to stand on your own two feet? And she’ll have you hanging around criticising her every mistake.

“If you want the advice of an old woman, I would say not to abandon the people who love you the most. Look for ways that we, or you and Craig can sort this problem out together. Talk to him properly, don’t just tell him ‘this is how it is going to be...’. He has his pride too and if you push him into a corner, he may leave you and I think that you would regret that sooner or later. Probably sooner too.

“Soom would miss Craig too. Well, we all would. We have all become fond of him and his funny little ways. He’s a breath of fresh air sometimes.”

“Do you think that I should go to him now, Mum?”

“That is up to you, Lek, but maybe it is better if he thinks things through on his own for a little while longer. Give him an hour longer and that will give you time to think what to say to him and cook him something nice. What is his favourite? Oh, yes, Paneng. Put some of your love into a Paneng for him and if he’s not back by the time it’s ready, take him a bowl to the shop.”

“Thanks, Mum, you always know what to say just at the right moment... whereas I, well I just rush in and... Do I get that from Dad? I’ll give it a shot. Do you fancy some curry too? I’ll make enough for all of us.”

∞

Craig was well into his fourth pint when Lek appeared at his side. He actually smelled her coming before he saw her, or at least he had caught a whiff of his favourite Thai meal being cooked somewhere near by.

“Hello, telak. I have brought you something to eat. You not eat all day and drinking with no food is no good.” As soon as she had mentioned drinking and an implied criticism, she regretted it.

“Who cares? Go to Bangkok, then you won’t have to watch, will you?”

“I did not mean anything, my dear, honestly. May I sit down and join you? I think I need a few beers too.”

“I don’t need a few beers, I want a few beers... Sure sit down, what do you want? A Leo? Nong! Can I have a Leo, a glass, some ice and another Chang, please?”

Lek was unwrapping her parcel of food and two dishes that already had servings of white, fluffy rice in them. She passed the bowl of curry, a bowl of rice and a spoon to Craig, so that he could serve himself first in the traditional way.

“Thank you. It smells very nice. Thanks, Nong. Cheers, my dear, bottoms up! When are you off? Oh, yes, in two weeks...”

“I want to talk to you about that, Craig. I am so sorry that I sprang it on you so suddenly like that. It must have been a terrible shock. I should have been more... more subtle. Is that the right word?”

“Well, it’s one of them and you certainly were not it.”

“Yes, I know and I am sorry.” She put some more curry into Craig’s bowl before taking a little for herself. “You understand the problem though, despite my inept way of putting it, so I have come to you now for advice. You have more experience in money matters than I. I am only a blunt farm girl at heart, what do you think that we could do together as a family to solve this crisis?”

Craig knew that he was being buttered up, but he also knew that it was Lek’s way of apologising. It was very rare for her, or any Thai for that matter, to actually say the word ‘sorry’ and she had said it at least six times that day already – she preferred to show it in deeds.

“I know how important Soom’s education is to you. I know how much you blame your own previous circumstances on your own lack of a formal education and I know that you don’t want the same for Soom. An education with papers – qualifications – is like a guarantee. I know you think all that and I agree with you.

“So, I propose using my visa guarantee money to help you and Soom. That takes the pressure off for now. It means that I will not get a twelve-month visa extension next month, but maybe it’s time we had a holiday anyway. We could go to Laos – Vientiane – for a holiday and pick up a three-month visa while we’re there. I have a few ideas for replacing the visa money, but there is no rush for that. How much do you need right now for Soom?”

“I give her twelve thousand Baht every month for expenses. Later I will need sixty thousand, but not right now. In six weeks. I have most of that money, but then I have no reserves for if there is a problem. That is what worries me.”

“Yes, OK, Lek. Tell Soom that you will transfer the money into her bank account on Monday and in the meantime, we can start planning our holiday to Laos. Cheers! I mean it, cheer up. We both need to.”

Lek felt a lot happier now that the foreseeable problem had been sorted out. She had a year to find next year’s payment and she still had fifty thousand in the bank.

Craig could see that the storm had passed but the sky was definitely still very overcast.

2 THE VISA RUN TO LAOS

Vientiane, the capital of Laos was not actually all that far away, as the crow flies, but getting there was a very different story unless one flew, which Lek and Craig decided against for financial reasons. Lek took the bus into Phitsanulok with one of her girlfriends to buy the bus tickets the day before they were about to leave. This too was not a long journey, but it could easily take six hours to get there and back. Lek liked to take a friend so that they could make a day of it – do some shopping and eat lunch somewhere nice. This was the plan for the day also.

Lek and Craig had been getting on a lot better since he had given her a hundred thousand Baht – a quarter of the money that he needed to keep in a Thai bank in order to qualify for a twelve-month visa extension. It troubled him, but at least his ‘family’ was stable again for a while and everyone was happy or to be accurate: Soom was ecstatic, Lek appeared happy and Craig was pretending to be happy.

Lek had postponed her plans to go back to work indefinitely, which was a relief to Craig, although he was all too aware that he had had to pay her a hundred thousand Baht to keep her. Not an ideal arrangement, but it did give him time to think about what to do next and he did feel that the two ladies in his life had earned the right to a year’s stability, even if he did decide to leave them high and dry the following year.

There was no question about it, Craig was feeling terribly hurt that Lek had been prepared to leave him at two days’ notice after they had been together for eight years. He just didn’t know what to do about it just yet and he wanted to help Soom stay in university. The kid had never had much and was genuinely nice. He often wondered whether Lek had been like that before going to Pattaya. He knew that she was a very popular woman, she often seemed to be the life and soul of the party, but she was often a different person when they were alone. Especially the last couple of years. Maybe she had grown bitter through disappointment, but disappointment with what? With him?

He had always done his best and no-one had ever suggested otherwise. When people left for the fields at seven or seven-thirty in the morning, his office light was always on and when they went to bed at nine, ten or eleven at night, his light was still burning. All the neighbours knew that and Lek had said she was very proud that he was such a hard worker. But it was true that the long hours had not translated into a good salary.

He had spent all his saving and everything he had earned keeping the three of them together and now it seemed that Lek had been topping up the house-keeping money with her own savings too.

He could think of only one thing to do: sell the flat in his home town of Barry, South Wales and live off that. He and Lek had been hoping to keep the flat for their retirement. It was not worth a lot of money, but if it had continued to rise in value for ten years, it would have seen him out and left Lek with a few million baht too.

Now it would have to go and there would be no welcome boost to the retirement fund for either of them, unless Fate pulled its fickle finger out.

It began to dawn on him that Lek had been trying to get him to sell the house, so that she wouldn’t have to go back to work. It was possible, because it would have been out of character for Lek to ask anyone to do anything as momentous as sell a house just to help her. She was far too independent for that. The more Craig thought about it, the more it made sense that that was what Lek had wanted all along.

∞

Lek and her friend Su waited until nine for the eight o’clock bus and so arrived at the bus station at ten-thirty. They had bought the two bus tickets ten minutes later and had about four hours to enjoy themselves before the next bus went there way. Lek made it clear that she would have to get some money from an ATM.

“I don’t have much money on me, I’m afraid, but Craig gave me a hundred thousand the other day, so we can take some of that, go for lunch – on me of course – and then we’ll have a look around the shops.”

Su was pretty much in awe of her friend and always had been, but a hundred thousand Baht was about nine months salary to her, so this was very impressive stuff.

“Let me see... we can spend five thousand today and I’ll take ten thousand to Laos with me. I’ve never been there, but they must have some decent shops, mustn’t they? Have you ever been there, Su?”

“No, not me Pee Lek. I’ve only left the province once and that was to go to Bangkok for a few days when we got married fifteen years ago. We stayed with the old man’s auntie. It was nice enough though. I haven’t even got a passport and wouldn’t know how to get one. Have you got a passport, Pee Lek?”

“Oh, yes, we went to Wales a few years ago, remember. I know Thais can enter Cambodia and Laos without a passport, but you can’t fly to Europe without one.”

Lek was not the sort of person to rub people’s noses in her apparent good fortune, but she did like to milk situations for the maximum amount of face she could get out of them. It was a habit she had gotten into after returning from Pattaya with Craig, when her reputation in the village was at a pretty low ebb and so was her self-esteem.

They took seats in a nice but not posh restaurant, after all, Lek didn’t want to embarrass her friend whose table manners left a lot to be desired.

“Order what you like, Su, it’s my treat to say ‘thanks’ for coming with me today. It’s so boring doing it alone. It’s very reasonable here too – good food, but not expensive.”

Su thought it was expensive, but she didn’t say so as she had her pride too.

However, she referred to her friend as ‘Pee’, not because Lek was older than her – they had been in school together – but because Lek appeared to be of higher status than she was. In general, ‘pee’ means ‘You are older than I and I am being polite’, but it can also refer to status, although age confers status too. The ‘opposite’ is ‘Nong’, which is a polite way of referring to a younger person or someone of lower status.

∞

The first stage of the journey was to get from Baan Suay to the bus station. Lek hired one of her friends to take them at seven o’clock in order to catch the VIP bus at nine. The driver took his wife and family in the back of the pick-up for a trip out to the big city, which they probably didn’t do from one month to the next. Once at the bus station, Lek treated them all to a meal and paid the petrol money.

Displaying largesse was one of her favourite jobs – she would have made a great Santa Claus, if he had been a woman.

The next stage, was the actual six-hour bus ride to Udon Thani through the mountains, but as it would be dark, there was nothing to see. Lek had taken her travel-sickness pills as usual, because she suffered from even the shortest car journey. The only problem was that they tended to make her lose her mind for several hours. She was well aware of the problem and would tell Craig when they were working, effectively putting him in charge of her well-being until she came down off them.

Lek invariably fell asleep on long journeys so the tablets were only a problem when they had to change vehicles. As they passed through Loei, Lek popped up from under her travelling blanket and peered past Craig out of the window. She looked him in the face from a few inches away, rubbed her eyes and stared out of the window again.

“If I met someone from here I would not know what to call him,” she said and flopped back in her seat.

“Do you mean: ‘Do you mean that you don’t know where are we?” he asked.

“That’s it,” she replied.

And she was asleep again before he could tell her. He had often regretted not keeping a collection of the odd things that Lek had said and done while stoned on travel-sickness pills.

They arrived in Udon Thani shortly after three and had to wait two hours for the bus to Nong Khai, a city near the Laos border. That took an hour, so at six- fifteen, they took a twenty-minute taxi ride to the border.

Craig was leading Lek around, carrying his laptop and dragging their case, so he was relieved to find the customs channels virtually clear. They filled in the exit papers and went straight through to where they had to get another bus over the long ‘Friendship Bridge’ in order to cross the Mekong into Laos.

Then it was more faffing about with immigration and entry visas and a taxi to a hotel that Craig had booked on the Internet. Lao is very similar to Thai, so Craig had no problem telling the taxi driver the name of the hotel, which was situated on the ‘Water Front’ in the centre of Vientiane.

They were stripping off, going for a shower in their room at ten a.m. After a journey of five hundred kilometres which had taken thirteen hours. Craig was shattered, but Lek was starting to come down. Craig decided to leave the visa for the following day.

They were both tired, hungry, thirsty and inquisitive, but they settled for setting the phone alarm for one o’clock and taking a nap. However, when one o’clock came, they were both raring to go outside and see what Vientiane was like. Lek had some preconceptions of Laos and had met many people from there, but Craig had no idea what to expect. Their first impression as they left the hotel was that it was very clean.

Old but clean, in the way that proud, poor people might wear old clothes and even have an old car, but keep them in the best possible condition. A lot of the street signs still bore their old colonial names in French, although Laos had been communist for decades. Lek was amused by the way Lao used the Thai language. She kept pointing differences out to Craig, who knew enough Thai to understand what she was talking about.

The only thing that Craig remembered about Laos was that it was the most bombed country of all time and that its mostly rural population of about six and a half million were still regularly finding landmines and packets of cyanide dropped by the Americans in the Seventies, so he was surprised to hear so many American accents there.

There were also a lot of French people, presumably tourists. Lek chose a restaurant-cum-bar within a hundred yards of the hotel and they sat down. Lek took the menu and made noises as she read it, Craig ordered a Beer Lao, which he had never tried before and a spa for Lek.

“I have no idea how hot this food will be, telak, so I will order two Thai dishes and some spare ribs for you. OK?”

“Yes, that’s fine. Do you want to try this Lao beer? It’s quite nice.”

She took a sip and agreed.

“I’ll wait for tonight or I’ll be asleep again soon. I can’t drink in the afternoons anymore. It makes me too sleepy.”

“You’re getting old, that’s what it is.”

She knew it was true, but did not want to hear it.

“You can get a new lady if you want. Maybe a Lao lady and stay here...”

They both regretted it. It didn’t take much to cause an argument these days. They both found it hard to talk together for more than fifteen minutes without one of them passing a snide comment or getting angry over the smallest thing. Conversation was like picking your way through a minefield. Craig often didn’t say anything at all for fear of the consequences.

He wondered if Lek was going through an early menopause. He had heard that hormones in food were causing girls to become fertile earlier and women to become menopausal earlier too. Or at least, he thought that he had read it. He couldn’t remember at that precise moment. Perhaps he had dreamed it. It made sense though. If women were born with all the eggs they would ever have and they started using them earlier, the supply would run out earlier too. It sounded feasible, but he had no idea really.

Maybe they had a million eggs and could never use them all up.

Or maybe they went off.

Lek was hoping that this vacation would be a second honeymoon. She didn’t like to suggest it, but she was hoping that Craig would try to make it something romantic, something special. They had not decided how long they would stay, but they had both forgone birthday parties that month. Craig’s on the 14th. had not been important, but Lek’s fortieth on the 12th. had been a milestone.

It was just that the atmosphere had not been right, although the family had urged them to have a joint celebration, like they usually did. Thai Mothers’ Day is also on the 12th, but they didn’t even do much for that – just a small meal at Mum’s. Surely everyone knew that they were going through a very rough patch.

The Seven-Year Itch a year early.

They had plenty of time – they could stay away as long as money allowed, but then they were sort of trying to spend less money, although they were not trying very hard and Craig had not mentioned being frugal on holiday.

She made up her mind to try to be extra nice to him and not find fault with everything he said. She looked up from the menu and smiled at him.

“I will have a glass of beer with you darling. Thank you.”

She called the waiter and placed the order while Craig poured her a drink.

“Cheers! Have you noticed that they don’t say ‘Sawasdee, ka’ here? They say ‘Sabaidee’ instead. I have noticed that they don’t say ‘ka’ or ‘kap’ very often at all.”

“I hadn’t noticed the ‘sabaidee’, but I had noticed the ‘ka’ thing, because Thais put ‘ka’ or ‘kap’ on the end of most sentences...”

“That is because we are polite. There is nothing wrong with politeness...”

“I didn’t say there was, did I? I just assumed it was a regional practice, like in the UK, Londoners say ‘sir’ more often than we do in Wales. It doesn’t make them more or less polite. It’s just their way. Maybe the communists made them drop ‘ka’ here because everyone is supposed to be equal, whereas in Thailand they are definitely not. You have a class structured society, like the UK does, with royalty and all that, but communist countries don’t.

“Their class structure is built on party membership and having a good job in the civil service”.

But Lek had already stopped listening. She didn’t waste any time at all worrying or even thinking about things that didn’t concern her or her family and she certainly didn’t care about the social structure in Laos. She just could not understand why Craig was interested in just about everything, it seemed such a waste of time.

“I emailed my brother last night and asked him to put my flat on the market. If I am lucky, the tenant will buy it, so there might be a quick sale. Well, quick for Britain. British solicitors are not known for doing anything quickly. It could still take two or three months.”

“But, I thought that you were keeping that for when we are older.”

“Look, if I don’t have money to eat and drink, I won’t get a lot older, will I? Yes, I wanted to keep it for another ten years or so too, but things haven’t worked out like that. I didn’t create the recession. I couldn’t predict that people would spend less on the Internet or that the Thai baht would become nearly forty percent stronger or that inflation would hit Thailand as it has. Even you say how quickly prices are rising in Thailand. Food has shot up, hasn’t it?”

“Yes. I know it is not your fault. It’s just that I thought we would have the house to sell when we are older... Now we will be poor when we are old. That is not something nice to look forward to. I will have thirty years to think about how poor I will be when I am old.”

“And me! Not only you! I used to have a house and in three months I will not. Jeez, woman listen to yourself... I, I, I, poor me. What about me? It’s my house you will be eating for the next ten years, don’t forget that. Don’t be so bloody selfish.”

“But you can go home and the government will take care of you, my government will not take care of me. I will be working until the day I die. It is something that I have wanted to talk to you about for a long time, because it worries me.”

“Did you think of that when you were playing cards all day?”

And they were fighting again already. Both seemed to realise it at the same time, because they both fell silent. Craig pretended to read the label on the beer bottle and Lek looked around the walls. The waitress bringing the food broke the awkward silence, giving them a chance to try again.

“One more beer, please,” said Craig. “How is the food, Lek?”

“Do you want to try? It is alright. Not so hot as I like. A bit boring.”

Craig took the proffered spoonful of curry and rice in his mouth.

“It’s OK. Not as hot as you like, I know, but it is all right for me. Maybe they make it like that here because of all the foreign visitors.”

“What about all the Thai foreigners? Don’t we count? I have heard before that Lao food is not as hot as Thai food, now I know that it is true.”

Craig thought that it would be hard for any country’s food to be hotter than Thailand’s, but he judged it prudent not to say so at that juncture in time.

After the meal, they walked up and down the Waterfront for a few hours. Lek bought a parasol to shield her skin from the sun and then they went back to the hotel for a rest.

Lek lay on the bed, watched TV, dozed and pretended to be dozing, while Craig checked his web sites, answered his emails and wrote an article on travelling to Laos for his web site on Thailand. She didn’t want to talk lest it led to more squabbling, especially since they had had such a pleasant walk along the bank of the Mekong.

It seemed to her that everything that she had done had been for nothing. Nearly twenty years before, she had gone to work in Pattaya because the bank was threatening to foreclose on the farm, due to a loan that her father had taken out on it, but now that she needed money, where was the farm to help her?

She had worked in the sex tourism industry for ten years and actually saved money for her daughter’s education, but she had squandered it playing cards. Well, not all of it, but most. Her friend Goong had left her a lot of money, but now it was all gone and with nothing to show for it.

She had relied on Craig to save her and to be fair to him, he was doing, and always had done his best, but they were still broke and now he was having to sell their pension fund ten years early. Again through no fault of his own, but it did now mean that they always would be hard up.

Nothing that she had hoped for and dreamed about was going to come about, except that Soom would go to university and sit the exams. It was something, but it was only a small fraction of what she had wanted. The books were right, it was all Maya. Hopes and dreams were all illusion. There was nothing you could do to change your future. Nothing helped except your behaviour towards others. People got what they deserved, they got their Karma. The rest was all smoke and mirrors – Maya.

What had she achieved? She wanted to cry, but it was beneath her dignity. Not many people and certainly not many things could make her cry.

Not any more, not after ten years in Pattaya.

She looked at Craig’s back. Eight years older. Eight years of slaving over a machine working on a medium that would cease to exist if there were no electricity. She couldn’t even remember how many web sites he had now. There was something sad about that. She ought to know what her husband was working so hard at, but it was all pointless too since it was not paying for their lifestyle, which was not lavish by any Western standards. She would never have the jet-set lifestyle that she had thought having a foreign husband ensured.

She had been so stupid and if it wasn’t for Soom, she would happily be dead. Her mother could take care of Soom, as she always had and if she faked an accidental death, her life assurance would pay Soom a million baht, which would see her through university and buy her a good job.

That was something else that Craig didn’t know about yet. It was one of those embarrassing things that Thais only discussed with Thais. They were ashamed to admit them to foreigners. Corruption. No matter how well Soom did at university, she would never get a very good job if she didn’t have the money to buy her one.

And they didn’t have any money and they didn’t have any reserves or a pension pot. Soom would discover bitter disillusionment early in life, when she realised that university had ensured her an office job, but not a good one. There were several glass ceilings that only money could smash and they didn’t have any and never would have.

She was too old to go back to ‘work’ and earn good money now, but in five or ten years, she would have no chance at all of working in Pattaya. If she were going, she would have to go now or forever hold her peace. Could she rely on Craig to get her out of this awful situation? She would truly be happy to go to sleep now and not wake up again.

Craig woke Lek up at seven o’clock as it was getting dark outside.

“What’s the matter? Why are you waking me up? Oh! I forgot. We’re in Laos. What time is it?”

“Seven. There are a lot of people walking around outside. Shall we go out and have a look? Are you hungry?”

“Yes, OK. I’ll just brush my teeth. Five minutes.”

“OK, Lek. Say, don’t you think we should get some Lao money, some ‘Kip’? We paid in Baht this afternoon, but I think they just round everything up when you pay in Baht. Let’s get five thousand Baht’s worth and see how it goes. I can pay for the hotel by credit card. I don’t know about the visa. What do you think?”

He could hear her gargling in the toilet. When she came into the room, he asked what she thought of the plan.

“I couldn’t hear a word of what you were saying! I only heard ‘blub, blub, blub, blub, blub’. You knew I was brushing my teeth, why were you talking to me? What did you say?”

He told her again.

“Yes, OK. We can get some Kip. You have very many Kip for one Baht, I think. You want to get now, tonight?”

“Sure, as soon as possible, eh? Do you have my new Lloyds ATM card? The green one they sent me last month?”

“Yes.” She rummaged in her bag and handed it to him.

“And the PIN – you know the number – security.”

“I don’t have. You not give to me. You have.”

Craig wanted to blame Lek, but he couldn’t remember having given it to her. She might be right, but that made the card useless.

“Oh, shit. We cannot take money from the UK bank. Do you have your card?”

“No. I not take any gold or cards with me, I think it is not safe in Laos, because I do not know here.”

“Right... so we cannot get any money from the banks and we are on holiday in Laos. Great! I’m not blaming you... I am just saying. I am thinking aloud. How much money do you have?”

“Thai money?”

“What else? Do you have any Chinese?”

Lek was already counting out some notes. “A little more than seven thousand Baht.”

“OK, the visa costs nineteen hundred, I believe, so we have money to last for now, but we either have to go home early or.... This is bloody daft, eh? Who goes abroad with no money, eh? Only us! Come on, let’s go out. We can change a thousand Baht and enjoy ourselves. We can deal with it all tomorrow. Are you ready? Come on then, my dear.”

They turned left out of the hotel and walked the three hundred yards to the bureau de change that they had spotted earlier in the day. The exchange rate was two hundred and fifty-one Kip to the Baht and Lek was as delighted as a child at Christmas to be given a quarter of a million Kip for her one thousand Baht note.

She felt very rich and very superior, which were sensations that she was not accustomed to.

“Look at all this money, Craig! Look!”

“Yes, Lek, it’s a thousand Baht in Kip. The numbers don’t matter, it is the value that counts.”

But she wasn’t listening again, just counting the notes over and over.

“Where do you want to eat, dear?” asked Craig.

“Oh, we can eat anywhere with this sort of money,” she replied. “How about that open-air restaurant on the pavement near the hotel? The food looked very nice and they had the big prawns that you like.”

So, they walked back towards the hotel and sat at an empty table in the restaurant area. When the waiter came, Craig ordered two beer Lao’s, ice and a glass. When that had arrived, Lek went with the waiter to select the food that she wanted cooked for them.

Lek was in her element, but Craig was feeling rather stupid for not having checked his ATM cards.

The food that Lek picked was fit for a king. They had a dozen huge prawns, a large, steamed, pink river fish, spare ribs, salad and shellfish. Just as they were struggling to get to the end of it all, Craig ordered another round of beer. The waiter looked at his watch and said:

“It is nine o’ clock. We close now. Everything in Vientiane close now, but you can have one more, if you are quick. You must finish before I clean everything away... OK?”

Craig agreed. Lek and Craig stared at each other.

“Surely, the capital city of Laos doesn’t close at nine thirty, Lek?”

“That is what he said. Look around you. Lights are going out, people are going home.”

Lek spoke to the waiter when he returned with the beers and the bill. He confirmed that the city did indeed close at nine thirty by order of the government. Lek was not all that bothered, because she normally went to bed at nine thirty anyway, but she was shocked when she saw the bill of a hundred and eight-five thousand Kip.

∞

They rose at seven thirty, showered and went down for breakfast. There were both Thai and ‘European’ styles, so they were both happy with that. Then they went back to the room, picked up their paperwork for the visa and went back down. Another surprise awaited them- they needed sixty thousand Kip to get to the embassy and back in a broken-down, tuk-tuk motorbike taxi, so they had to change another thousand Baht. Lek was not so impressed with the two hundred and fifty thousand Kip she collected after seeing how fast it could run through her fingers.

At the Thai embassy, Craig collected his form, filled it in, stuck his two photos on it and waited for his number to be called. When it was, he went up to the counter. The immigration official looked over his document quickly and said:

“Marriage certificate.”

Craig called for Lek, who came running, as she hated to keep officials waiting. They talked. Lek looked in her bag. Then said something and the official said:

“Next!” A man tried to take Craig’s place at the counter.

“Hey! Stop pushing! Wait your bloody turn! Excuse me, what is the problem with my application?”

“Your wife no have marriage certificate and no have house book. I cannot gib you non-immigrant ‘O’ visa. Next!”

“No, wait! So what can I do about it?”

“You can go back and get all your papers I need. Next!”

“But that will take a day or more...”

“Not my problem. I must see papers. You not have papers. What can I do? Next!”

“Isn’t there anything I can do? How about if I change my application for a two-month tourist visa?”

“No can do, I know what you want now already. I cannot do that. Next!”

“This is crazy!”

“Send your wife home get. You can go too or wait here in Vientiane, now please go. Next!”

Craig turned to glare at the man who was hovering behind him. He backed off a little.

“OK, I can accept fax of papers this one time, because I see you have long visa before. Now go. Next!”

Craig bumped the next guy in the queue as he exited the line.

“Isn’t it bloody marvellous? Why do I need to prove I’m married to get that visa. Your ID has your name ‘Williams’ on it; your passport has bloody ‘Williams’ in it. It’s not a very common name in Thailand, is it? Do they think I searched Thailand for a Thai woman called Williams so I could get a ninety-day visa instead of a sixty-day one? Jesus! That makes me so angry. Well, now we are stuck here. Tomorrow is Friday, so if we hand the forms in then, we won’t get them back until Monday. OK, back to the hotel.

“And we don’t have any money! Shit, shit, shit, shit, sodding shit!”

Back in their room, Lek phoned her mother to go into their house to get the documents and fax them to their hotel. Her mother was pretty worried about taking on such a hi-tech venture, but she assured Lek that she would get it done with someone’s help. Meanwhile, Craig Skyped his friend in Barry, Blond Billy, and asked him to lend them £300 for a week or so. Billy agreed to wire the money care of the hotel.

The money actually arrived before the paperwork from Thailand, but they eventually had everything they needed and Lek went back to the bureau de change with $420 to exchange some of it for a million Kip. Holding a million Kip had as much effect on her as two hundred and fifty thousand had the day before.

In the afternoon, they went for a walk along the Mekong again and then back to the hotel. It was really too hot to do much and there didn’t seem much to do anyway.

In the evening, they ate at a different, but similar outdoor restaurant and the bill at nine thirty was about the same. Lek concluded that Vientiane was a lot more expensive than Bangkok and if she could have gone home the next day she would have, but there was still the visa to get.

The visa application went smoothly enough, although the transaction could not be completed in one day. It has to be applied for on one day and collected the following business day, which meant staying until Monday. They both reckoned that they would have had enough of Vientiane by then to make going back home no hardship.

Lao people were friendly enough and Vientiane was easier for Westerners that most Thai cities including most areas of Bangkok, but there was so little to do and it was so expensive.

On Monday morning, they got up just in time not to miss breakfast, ate slowly and then checked out. They booked a taxi to the bridge but asked him to wait at the embassy first. The embassy opened for the collection of visas after lunch at one-thirty, so they had plenty of time to start their long-winded return trip home.

Sitting in the bus to Phitsanulok, both were analysing their ‘holiday’. Both thought that it had gone well considering and both felt better for having spent so much time alone away from Lek’s distractions in the village. As she felt the tablets kicking in again, Lek reached out under the blanket and took Craig’s hand and he squeezed it back.

3 The Death of a Neighbour

Lek and Craig both benefited from their trip to Laos in that their relationship grew closer and they started spending some time with each other again. Craig still had to work all day, but Lek made a point of meeting him at Nong’s for a couple of hours at five o’clock every day, whereas these meetings had dropped to once of twice a week over the previous year and even then Lek had spent most of the time on the phone talking to her daughter in Bangkok or her cousin in Pattaya.

Craig had actually wished she would stop coming, because he found it distracting and unsettling to have her talking loudly in a language he couldn’t understand to people he couldn’t see when he was out for a relaxing break between two long sessions of work. More than once he had reminded her that it was a mobile phone, so why didn’t she ‘walk over there’ and chat to her family.

It hadn’t helped their relationship any, but it had been at rock bottom anyway.

Now she was being ‘nice’ to him again, but he couldn’t help wondering how long it would last. Craig was sure that either she was menopausal or worried about something and the ‘something’ could only be her daughter or money or both.

“How are your web sites doing, my dear?”

“I have a hundred and fifty-two now, but the global recession is still hitting them badly,” he replied somewhat shocked at the sudden interest. This was probably the second time she had asked about his work in eight years.

“I’m thinking of scaling back to a hundred web sites or less, because I cannot write enough articles every month to keep them all looking fresh. At one five-hundred-word article a week for each site that would mean writing twenty-two articles a day or eleven thousand words a day. That is unsustainable...”

Craig looked up but he could see that he had lost her.

“If I am going to be writing... Lek, Lek! If I am going to be writing eleven thousand words a day for web sites, I might as well write a book, mightn’t I?” he joked.

“Yes, dear. You could write a book on Thailand. Write some stories. Maybe they sell better than web sites.”

“I was joking. I’ve never written a book in my life... I wouldn’t know where to start. Writing five-hundred-word articles on interesting topics is easy enough, when you get into the swing of it. I can do five a day for a few days, but I can write three a day for ever. However, three a day means twenty-one a week which will only support twenty-one web sites, but twenty-one average web sites won’t provide enough income to support us.”

Craig loved to talk about his work, but no-one else in the village shared his interest and he never met anyone else. Or rarely, so whenever anyone showed the slightest interest, he tended to go over the top, as he was now. Lek tried to maintain a level of interest, but she had no idea what he was talking about.

“Darling, you know me. I care about people: my family and my friends, I know nothing about machines and computers. It just goes in this ear and out that one, but nothing sticks. I am stupid, I have no education. I never go high school and never go to university. My mother not have money to send me. That is why I want Soom to go. I don’t want her stupid like me, I want her clever like you.”

It always broke his heart to hear her talking about herself like that.

“You went back to school a few years ago, didn’t you? I thought that was for high school.”

“Yes, now, at the age of forty, I can prove that I am as clever as a sixteen-year-year old. Great! I am still twenty-four years behind. Do you think anyone wants to give a job to a forty year old woman with the brain of a sixteen-year-old? No, I am on the scrap heap. I am even not fit enough to work in the rice fields like women half my age again. My Mum is sixty-er, er... something and she can still work in the fields all day if she has to, but I would not last one hour and you would not last ten minutes.”

She started laughing at the thought of him planting or cutting rice by hand. She found the mental image of Craig up to his ankles in mud hilarious. “I am sorry,” she said with a hand before her mouth, “but when I think of you..., you standing in sloppy mud planting rice, complaining about your bad back and wanting a cold beer because there is no shade... Oh, my Buddha. You are very funny. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

“You working with all the old ladies and they are working faster than you and you complaining and wanting a chair, a beer and an umbrella in the wet rice field... Oh, my Buddha.”

It was nice to see her laugh again. She touched his hand, clinked glasses and put hers to her lips. At the last moment she had to put the glass down again as another mental image caused a laughing fit.

“Oh, I must tell my Mum later! I will tell her that you want to help her in the field next time, but she must take a chair and some beer for you.” And she was laughing again. Craig didn’t mind in the slightest being the butt of her jokes – anything to see her laugh again, He wished she would do it every day.

“Oh, Lek, that money we borrowed from Billy in Barry. I had forgotten all about it. Had you? Anyway, I sent it back to him by PayPal today and thanked him very much. He pulled us out of the shit there big time, didn’t he?”

“Yes. How stupid we were. I liked Billy the first time we met him in O’Brien’s. And the other guys we used to sit with on market day when it was freezing cold outside... Look at the time, Soom will be thinking that I have forgotten her.”

At six o’clock Lek always phoned her daughter. It was their designated time; it was the time she should be arriving in her bedsit from university or ‘school’ as Craig called it. Lek would never demean such a respected establishment of higher education with the word ‘school’, although she had respect for schools in their place. She realised that Craig could be so flippant about university because he had attended one and familiarity breeds contempt, as they say, but she didn’t like him using that term when referring to Soom’s university.

Lek looked forward to phoning Soom every day, so took up her mobile and rang her.

“Hello, where are you now?” - the standard greeting - “Have you eaten yet? Good... Are you well? How did university go today? Good.... Good. Me? I’m fine. Yes, he’s all right too. He’s sitting here with me now, drinking beer. Soom says ‘Hello’. He says ‘Hello to you too’. What are you going to do tonight? Yes, that’s right... Do your homework, read a bit, watch TV for a while and then early to bed

“Tomorrow is another day. You want to be fit and bright for every day in university. You have worked hard to get there, now you have to work hard to stay there. You will do that, I know you will..

“OK, yes, OK. Phone me if you need anything at any time of the night or day. We are well, don’t worry about us. Gran is fine too. She sends her love. Yes, OK, thank you. We miss you too. Bye-bye for now. Bye...

“That was Soom. She says she misses us... and you. I mean including you. She is doing well though. I miss her too. I want to go down to see her. Maybe stay with her for a few days, what do you think?”

“If you stay with her in her bedsit, then I can’t go. That’s what I think, but I don’t mind, if you want to go on your own. I can survive here alone, on my own, with absolutely no-one to talk to for two days, if that is what you want.

“I know how much you miss her. I don’t mind, really! I’m only joking with you. Look, it’s, er, Tuesday today, so why don’t you go down on Friday morning, stay the weekend while she’s off school and comeback on Monday morning?”

“University, dear. Soom finished school last year – nearly eighteen months ago. She does go in on Saturday morning for private lessons, but that is a good suggestion of yours. OK, I’ll book a seat in the minibus and leave on Friday. Thank you for understanding, darling.” She cupped her mouth and whispered the words ‘I love you. Choop, choop.’ “You would only be bored in Bangkok anyway. It’s no good you coming, is it?”

It was true that Craig did not like big cities, but he said, “Yeah, right! I’d be bored rigid what with all those bars, girls, strip joints, A-Go-Go bars and everything. I mean... you get too much of that around here.... Enough to last a man a lifetime.”

Lek thought he was joking, but even after eight years, she was rarely completely sure. They both had such different senses of humour and Thai humour was different from the British variety anyway. Probably Asian was different to European in general. So she put on a weak smile and studied his face.

“Only joking. I’m happy for you to go and I’m happy to stay here. All alone, while you’re out going everywhere in Bangkok. Boring old Bangkok. While I live in up in Baan Suay, the only place I’ve ever lived without a pub.”

Now she knew he was joking. Maybe speaking the truth in jest, but that was his way. He didn’t mind her going and didn’t mind staying at home.

“OK, thank you my dear. I’ll let Soom have a shower and then ring her with the good news. I am really looking forward to it. Isn’t it exciting? We haven’t been separated for more than a few hours for eight years.”

He had had his little joke, so he didn’t push his luck. He just smiled back at her. He was wondering if he could get his friend Murray to come around and take him out in the car. He had never explored the local village ‘bars’ – if there were any.

Just as Lek was about to phone her daughter, Nong came running out.

“Lek! Lek! There has been an accident. Mrs. Ng just told me that a petrol tanker has knocked two local ladies off their motorcycle in the lane. One is dead and the other has less than a ten percent chance of pulling through. Who is it?”

“Oh, how awful! But how would I know? I’ve been sitting here for the last hour.” She told Craig about the accident.”

“But no-one knows who they are?”

“I think some people know, but we don’t know,” she replied, wondering whom she could phone to find out who the victims were.

Nong spoke up after making a phone call. It never took her long to know the local gossip, it was why she was always busy, people called in for groceries and to find out what was going on. In the absence of a local paper or radio station, Nong was the repository of all local knowledge.

“One was that young Mrs. Ma who lives... lived just round the corner. The one with two young children and another on the way. She’s the one that died outright and the other one was your next-door neighbour, Joy. They’d been out shopping apparently and were coming back through the lane when BANG! Head on into a petrol tanker making deliveries around the villages.

“He was actually due here, but was redirected down the lane by road-workers. The driver is beside himself with grief. The doctor had to sedate him. Joy is in hospital, but she was dragged a little way by the truck so she’s in a very bad way. They think she’ll die. Just a ten percent chance of pulling through.”

Craig couldn’t follow much of the conversation, but he could see other women gathering at the shop to discuss it. When Lek started explaining to Craig, Nong darted off, anxious to tell the others what she knew and maybe learn a few more details.

When Lek got up to join the other women, Craig slipped into the shop and helped himself to another Chang. He knew that there would be no decent service for at least an hour and he didn’t mind helping out. Eagle-eyed Nong spotted him in her peripheral vision and nodded him her consent.

Craig was roused from his daydreams, by a collective sharp intake of breath, but he could guess what had happened.

When she had all the information there was to be had, Lek rejoined Craig. “Joy just died too. Isn’t that just awful? Ma had two young children and was just pregnant with a third and Joy, well, she is or was a grandmother, but only fifty years old and looking after her daughter’s baby... and her husband’s not well. I know you don’t like him much, but you used to get on well with Joy, didn’t you?”

“Yes..., we never actually spoke because we couldn’t, but when she saw me sitting here she always used to shout ‘go home’. I used to like to think that she meant ‘go home to your wife’ and not ‘go back to Britain’. She probably didn’t know any other words in English. Yes, I liked her... she used to ask me to dance at parties, remember?”

“Yes, I liked her too. You realise what this means, eh? I won’t be going to Bangkok this weekend. Not if they have the normal seven-day ceremony. Still, Bangkok will still be there next week, so no rush.

“Perhaps, Soom ought to come back to pay her respects. She has known Joy all her life. I must phone her now. Are you all right for ten minutes?” She inspected his bottle, “OK, I’ll get you a fresh one first. I think I’ll have one too. It’s no good waiting for Nong, I’ll get them myself.”

As soon as Lek had sat down, she was back on the phone to Soom.

“Soom can’t come back until Friday. She finishes early on Fridays and can cancel her..., what name did you say again? Her ‘tutorial’ on Saturday morning, then, if she goes back on Sunday afternoon, she won’t miss any classes, so that’s all right, isn’t it? Maybe I could go back with her. Couldn’t I?”

“Well, obviously you could, but you won’t see much of her during the week and if you only get to see her every few months, why use up your visit so soon after she has come home? Why not leave it a month and then go down? That way you see her twice in two months. Sounds better to me.”

”Yes, maybe you are right. We’ll see what happens.”

“Well, when Soom goes back, Joy’s funeral will not yet be over, so that is another reason to put it off for a while. Look, I’m not trying to stop you going... I know that it is going to happen one day, but I want you to get the maximum effect from your visits. That is all. Think about it.”

There was no longer a bristle of gossip among the twenty or so women gathered at the shop, they had become hushed. Talking in whispers out of respect for the double fatality. Two women, one in her twenties and one just turned fifty dead, killed not a hundred metres from the safety of their homes by a truck that shouldn’t have been there, that had never travelled that route before. Two husbands and three children left behind and one baby dead with its mother, still unborn.

People talked in hushed voices about who or what had sent the petrol tanker to kill these women and wreck the peace of their families for months, years and decades to come. People talked of never going down the lane at night again lest they should come across the ghosts of Joy and Ma walking back and fore along that isolated lane doomed forever to keep trying to get home to their children.

When they left Nong’s at seven o’clock it was already beginning to get dark. Lek clung to Craig’s arm, petrified that she would meet Joy looking for someone to take care of her family in her absence. When they entered their garden, they could see the family gathering next door.

One group of men were putting out rows of chairs, erecting awnings and blocking the lane to cars, while another group were setting up the P.A. that would relay the monks’ ceremony to those sitting outside and play the funeral music.

They had already brought Joy back from the hospital and half a dozen older women were preparing her body to lie in the refrigerated casket, which would be its final resting place for its last seven days on Earth.

“I want to go to Bangkok now, Craig. I am scared. What can I say to Joy, if I see her with her head smashed in and she asks me to help take care of her family?”

“She never hurt you when she was alive, did she? So why do you think she is going to try now?

“If you meet her, just say ‘Hello’ and if she asks you to take care of her family, tell you can’t because you’re going on holiday to Bangkok soon. I’m sure she’ll understand. She’s not stupid and has family nearby anyway. Advise her to ask them. Tell her I’m a handful.”

“You are never serious. This is serious...”

“Hold on a minute. OK, I like to joke, I accept that, but I am being serous about Joy. If she asks you, just tell her that you are too busy to do a good job. Tell her to ask someone else. What’s wrong with that? That is what you would have said if she had asked you yesterday when she was alive, so why not say it now? Nothing has changed except she hasn’t got a body any more.”

“Oh, don’t say that. Oh, my Buddha. I won’t sleep for a week until she’s gone. I know it. Oh, my Buddha...”

“Look at it this way. With all the worry, sleepless nights and helping out next door, you will probably loose those extra pounds you have been putting on, won’t you?”

“Oh, thank you very much. I’m scared and depressed and you call me fat!”

“Joke, my dear. Just a joke.”

She tried to smile.

“But, it might work. Every cloud has a silver lining, so they say,” he added as he nipped into his office.

Lek was truly worried about Joy’s ghost, or ‘Pi’ in Thai. She had been to hundreds of funerals before but never because of such a violent, unexpected death involving a close neighbour and friend. She went next door to pay her final respects before the monks arrived at about seven thirty.

After the four monks had performed their duties for the first day, which took about thirty minutes, a rushed meal was passed around those who remained behind - about fifty people. It was a very quiet affair compared to average funerals – the whole village was in deep shock. Nobody liked to voice their thoughts about the evil spirit that had caused the petrol tanker to be in the lane and to kill, on its one and only rerouting down there, two women who had made that journey hundreds of times safely before.

Attendees at the funeral wanted to get home early in case there was an evil spirit lurking in the shadows.

When Lek went home at nine o’clock, she had a friend walk her up the drive to her front door even though it was only fifteen yards, the lights were on and Craig was working in his office. He had never seen her that affected by a death – not even that of one of her best friend, Goong, six years before. Goong had died at an even younger age than Joy, but she had been ill for a while, accepted her Fate – even welcomed it - and had had time to sort out her affairs.

She hovered about in Craig’s office, talking incessantly about one thing and another, but mostly about things that she would not normally concern him with. Then it dawned on Craig that Lek was frightened to go to bed alone in the dark. Actually, it was much worse that that, she was even too frightened to shower alone, so Craig did the right thing: he shut his computer down and suggested an early night. Lek leaped at the chance and held on to him tightly all night.

Craig got to sleep with difficulty, as had been the case since he was an infant, but Lek didn’t remember sleeping at all, which was most unlike her. She was waiting for her friend and neighbour to come walking through the wall looking as if she had been dragged through a hedge backwards.

∞

Whatever state of consciousness they were both in, they were immediately aware when the lorry-load of huge speakers roared into life at five a.m. the next day The speakers were less than twenty yards away, but their purpose was to call any women in the whole village who wanted to help prepare food for the evening’s ceremony. This was a cathartic event for people who were grieving. Instead of sitting at home alone while the men were in the fields working, they could sit together, chop, peel and prepare vegetables and meat and generally keep each other company.

Lek jumped out of bed and prepared to join in. There was no way Craig could sleep again, so he just started work. He understood that this had to be done and it didn’t bother him in the slightest. Lek was showered, dressed and out of the house in fifteen minutes, which Craig did resent a little, wanting to ask whether she had seen Joy’s Pi in the night.

Later he was glad that he hadn’t had the opportunity, deciding that it would probably have caused a problem. Sometimes, he just didn’t know when it was inappropriate to make a joke.

The music was turned down a lot when they had most of the helpers that they were expecting, about thirty minutes later, which made it feel less like having his head in a kettle drum at a Jamaican beach party. Craig just got on with the daily routine of checking and answering his email and writing relevant articles for his web sites, but when he got up to put the hot water on to make his coffee, he remembered what Lek had said the evening before about writing a book on or set in Thailand.

He knew that Lek had no idea of his writing skills- how could she? She had never read any of his work because she couldn’t read English and none of her friends could have told her either. It was an intriguing idea and one that he may never have come up with on his own. At least, he hadn’t so far in his fifty-eight years. He took his coffee back to his desk and got back into his routine.

Another routine was established too for the duration of the funeral ceremony of seven days. Lek brought him some lunch from the funeral at about two o’clock and met him in Nong’s at five. He would then have to escort her to the house next door for fear of Joy’s Pi, he would go back to work and she would stay there until about nine, when someone would walk her home. Craig could follow all the events from his office and sometimes he went to sit on the patio to concentrate on the monks chanting at about seven thirty.

On the fifth day, Joy’s body was cremated at the usual time of three o’clock. Her friend had been cremated the day before. Craig could hear gunfire and fireworks coming from the Wat and the final acts of the ceremony were completed on the seventh day of her death.

Soom was back for the actual cremation which pleased her mother and Joy’s family. Death is taken very seriously in a Thai village despite the fact that they don’t fear it as Buddhists. Lek saw it as part of Soom’s training, that she should learn and observe the traditions that made sense to her and to Lek. Anything that could improve one’s Karma made ultimate sense. She wanted her daughter to have the best chance in life by using every tool at her disposal: physical, metaphysical and spiritual.

Normally, Lek would have played cards every night after a funeral, but she did not at this one. Whether that was because she was scared of ghosts and wanted to be home or whether she was trying to be nice, Craig never knew. In fact it was for both reasons in equal measure. She was not afraid of death, but she had been shocked by how sudden it could come and she wanted to be around to see her grandchildren.

The death of those two women had had a profound effect on her.

And so had the way Craig had talked about ghosts

4 THE FRUIT GARDEN

Lek was feeling a lot happier in herself than she had done for months. The extra injection of cash from the sale of Craig’s property had helped, despite the fact that she hadn’t wanted to go down that route. She had wanted to save her cake and eat it and she realised that now. Her philosophy had always been to live in the present and let Karma take care of the future and she could see that she had lost the plot for a few months – taken her eye off the ball called life with its ups and downs sent to try everyone, not only her and her family.

Maybe the trip to Laos had helped too. She definitely thought that it had and she was especially pleased with how they had solved the crisis of their marriage papers and shortage of money together and so smoothly. What could have so easily been a disaster leading to a big row and days of bad feeling had become nothing when they had worked on it together.

The crisis had dissolved before them like smoke before wind.

The sudden death of her life-long friend Joy had also had an effect. Joy was ten years older than herself and was just beginning to discover the contentment of grand-parenthood. A life on Earth, but not a life, snuffed out when all that happiness was just before her.

She also thought about her own actions over the last eight years. In the beginning, she hadn’t contributed one penny to the family kitty and not worked for one hour in paid employment. Not only that, but she had squandered the small fortune left to her by Goong on playing silly games of cards because she was bored and wanted to show the others that she too had money to burn; that she hadn’t worked in Pattaya for nothing; that she was as good as the best of them.

However, she could see now that she had been on a fool’s errand. People had enjoyed taking her money from her and probably laughed at her behind her back. The wolves in sheep’s clothing; the sneers behind the smiles. This was truly the illusion that Goong had warned her about. No, reminded her about, for hadn’t she been taught not to chase illusions all her life? Not only that, but she had learned the lesson long ago and had it thrust down her throat day in and day out in Pattaya.

How had she come to drop her guard in Baan Suay? Maybe it was because she was home again and felt warm and protected with her friends and family about her. The wolves had still got her though, hadn’t they? She had stopped looking out for them, but they hadn’t taken their eyes off her and they had skinned her alive.

And now Craig had to sell their pension.

Lek was good at self-criticism, she had had years of practice in Pattaya, and low self-esteem. She had dreaded Soom finding out what she had been doing down there. How silly that was too. It was odds on that someone would tell her one day, if they hadn’t already. She could only rely on Soom’s common sense on that one.

As she saw it, the only problem that mattered was the one she could solve now. Not the one she should have solved last year or even the one she might have to solve next year – how could she best move forwards right now.

It was late September and she knew that adult learning classes would be starting up very soon, so she took herself off to the mayor’s office to see what she could find out. She saw no shame in going back to school. She had done it before a few years ago and finished after gaining her high school diploma, but at the moment she could not remember for the life of her why she had stopped.

In any case, she was now ready to carry on and as Goong had reminded her, the proverb was: ‘When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear’. The teacher had appeared before and she had faith that he or she would appear again. She took a deep breath, and walked up the mayor’s drive to look for him.

“Hello, Mr. Mayor, I’m looking for someone who can give me some advice about adult learning classes.”

“Hi, Lek. Sure, you need my wife. She’s around here somewhere, just go on through and look for her. Fancy one of the teachers, do you?”

“No, I want your job,” she said as she walked past her old friend.

The mayor was chuckling, he had always liked Lek, even when they were at school.

Lek found Jan in the vegetable patch behind the house collecting bits and pieces for their evening meal.

“Hi, Lek, nice to see you. Is this a social visit? It seems like we haven’t had a nice chat for ages. Come, sit down in the garden.” Jan led the way to a round stone table with a curved bench seat at the edge of each quadrant. She called her daughter to bring them some iced water. “How are things with you and that lovely husband of yours?”

“We are well, thank you, Jan. It’s just me. I think it’s time I took up my education again and Nic said to ask you.”

“Where did you see him?”

“He’s sitting out the front doing some paperwork, I think.”

“Oh, you saw him just now, did you? Ah, I see. I thought you meant round and about. Sorry about that. Um, let me think... We definitely have plans for adult classes starting two weeks Saturday. The same sort of thing you did before. Nine till three with an hour for lunch at twelve. That’s the one you’re talking about, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Last time I got the certificate I should have gotten when I was sixteen, er, twenty-four years ago.” She mumbled the last part in a comic way.

“Yes, time flies, doesn’t it, but it didn’t seem to matter in those sleepy Seventies and Eighties. However, things are very different now aren’t they? Education is everything now. I wish that there were more men and women who missed out the first time round going back to catch up now. The number of people who can’t read properly.... well, that’s another subject for another time.

“What is it that you want to learn? Any preferences?”

“I really don’t know, Jan. I can read as well as anyone; my handwriting is abysmal, but that’s just sloppiness, I think. I can add up, basic maths, that sort of thing. I worked in Beou’s bar in Pattaya as a cashier for years. We had to balance the books, regulate the stock, invoices, and all that... What do kids learn after that?”

“A hell of a lot of them don’t know that much to be honest with you, but they would have a more rounded education like reading literature, cooking – well, there’s no need for you to learn that, I know - er, computers nowadays, of course... I’m not sure to be honest with you.

“They would start specialising in order to go to university. By the way, how is your darling Soom doing in Bangkok?”

“She’s great! She came back two weeks ago for Joy’s funeral, but only for two nights...”

“Wasn’t that awful? The whole village is still in shock about that. It’s the children, I feel sorry for, of course....

“Anyway, where were we? Yes, are you thinking of going to university?”

“What me? In university? No, nothing like that... University! Me? The very idea... No, I just don’t want to feel stupid... and I do. Craig went to university and now Soom is at university and I? I left school at twelve... It has bothered me all my life... Well, since I was twelve anyway and a lot since I was twenty...”

“But it was the way in those days. Parents didn’t realise the value of education and a lot of the ones who did, couldn’t afford to send their kids to school... It was just the way it was and now it’s different.”

“I suppose so... So, can I do a general course to bring me up to the brain power of an eighteen year old, so to speak?”

“I don’t think that there are such courses, Lek. I think that you have to specialise now. You could take two courses, say, computers and Thai literature. Or maths and computers... or … I’ll tell you what, I’ll find you a list, then you can think about it, can’t you?”

“Yes, thanks, Jan. I’ll be off now then and will wait to hear from you. Thanks for your time. See you soon.” She went out the way she had come in and tapped the mayor’s table when he didn’t glance up: “Bye, Nic.”

“Yes, bye, Lek. Did you find Jan? Good. Come back soon. Don’t be a stranger. We are here to serve the people.”

She smiled at him warmly, but he had said it with such practised sincerity that she wasn’t sure whether he was pulling her leg or not.

“Right, thanks, see you..” and she walked back up onto the road to go home, phase one of her plan having been put into action.

∞

Craig was already sitting in Nong’s reading a document on marketing on his laptop, when Lek arrived at five o’clock.

“Hello, telak, do you want another beer? OK. Nong! Aow eek nung quat, ka! - ‘another bottle of beer, please’.” She sat down opposite him and waited for him to close his computer down. “How has your day been, Craig?”

He was quite taken aback by this unusual question from Lek, but tried not to show it.

“I’m fine thanks. The Internet is working well – I can’t expect much more really, can I? There is nothing to change around here and nothing changes. It is generally ‘a very good place to be’. It is the best place I have ever lived and I love it here. How has your day been?” he asked feeling that they were playing some sort of game.

“I have been thinking about taking some courses in school. What do you think?”

“I think it’s a great idea. I thought the same last time too. What do you want to learn?”

“That’s the problem... I don’t know. I went to find out about it today. There are courses starting in a couple of weeks, but I thought that I could just pick up from where I left off. You know, learn from sixteen to eighteen, but the gumnan’s wife said that it doesn’t work like that. I would have to specialise like they do in school at that age before going to university.”

“Is that what you want to do, go to university?”

“No. I don’t think so. There’s no point, is there? Me, in university?! I just want to learn something. Jan suggested computers or Thai literature...”

“If you want to, why not? I could help you with computers, if you ever need it, but I know nothing about Thai literature

“No, nor do I really. I don’t know if I’d like it. I have only read magazines and newspapers since I left school and only text books while I was there. I’ve never read any literature in my life.”

“Yes, I see. That is a tough one. When teenagers get to fourteen, they have – in the UK, in my day at least – they had to choose eight subjects to specialise in for two years. Most kids choose their favourites or what they were best at and some choose subjects so that they could get a special job. Then most kids at eighteen would specialise even more in three of the eight to go to university.

“So it is harder for you, because you don’t have any subjects to pick from. What do you like doing?”

“I like being with young children”

“That’s a start then. Go down to the school one day and ask them what qualifications you would need to be able to join their staff. Job done.”

Lek was quite impressed with how easy Craig made it seem, but she still had twenty-six years of shame telling her that she was too stupid to be a teacher.

‘Thanks, telak, I’ll do that. It sounds like good advice. I would probably need more than a few hours of Saturday morning classes to be a teacher though, but I’ll ask. There is something else too.

“I would like to be a teacher, but that might take years and I want to make some money now. I want to put some money into the family. Help pay for Soom’s education. I know that it is too late to save your house, but it is not too late to do something.”

“No, it is never too late. What do you have in mind?”

“I was talking to Mum this morning. She has a small piece of land over there, not far away... I thought that I could plant some trees, bushes and things on it and sell fruit. If I buy three or four year old fruit trees, they will make fruit in fifteen or eighteen months. Maybe I could do something else there too. She will sell me the land cheap It is nearly two rai, and she wants fifty thousand Baht.”

“I see. Can you pay every month for one year?”

“Yes, I think so, but that will not help. It will not make money in one year. Or maybe a little bit, but not five thousand per month.”

“Do you have the money?”

“Yes, but it is all that I have and I am using that to pay Soom’s living expenses every month.”

“So, you want to use some of the money from the house to buy some land for yourself from your own mother? Is that right? Because I can never own land in Thailand, can I?”

“If you put it like that, it sounds horrible. You make me look bad. I am only thinking of helping pay. I don’t want you to sell your house to buy land for me – that is not my idea.

“OK, you could lend me the money to buy the land.”

“But if I did that it would be the same as paying your mother slowly.”

“No, not the same. I cannot pay my mother slowly. She is old, it is good if she has some money now and I will start pay you every month next year, when I have fruit.”

Craig didn’t like the sound of it, but he would be getting a fair amount of money soon and it was hard to refuse to lend his wife £1,200 for two years. OK. You’ve got it, but the money won’t be here until the end of October, I think. Maybe a little longer.”

Lek jumped up, ran around the table and kissed him in public.

“I am so happy that you waai-jai – uh, believe me.”

“No, trust me.”

“Yes, darling, I do trust you... Thank you. Can I buy you one more beer? I am so happy that I will have one with you and I will pay for that myself too.”

Lek looked at Craig as she sat down again and he could not help but be amazed at the way his wife operated.

∞

The following morning, Lek told her mother what had transpired the evening before.

“But, Lek, do you have enough money to plant the land. It is no good to you unless you can buy trees and bushes for it and from what you have told me, it would be pretty difficult to go back to Craig again for yet more money.”

“No, Mum, I could not do that easily at all, but there is another way. You told me yesterday, that if I waited long enough, I would inherit the land anyway and I said that I would rather have it now – buy it now – and give you a little nest egg. Well, I know that you don’t spend much, so I was thinking that if I gave you twenty thousand now, I could use thirty thousand to plant trees and do some work and then I could pay you back over the following year at two and a half thousand a month.

“Would that be all right with you, Mum?”

“Er, yes... You are right, I don’t have any plans for the money. I probably wouldn’t even spend it. Maybe buy a few things for around the house, get some new clothes and fix the toilet roof... I don’t need twenty thousand for that, so why not? Yes, sure, if you like.”

“You are a really, special Mum. You know that, Mum? This is what I intend to do. Do you have some paper and a pencil?

“Right, thanks. I’m thinking of putting a cheap concrete-block shed here, in the corner for growing mushrooms in and here, I’ll have rows of mapang – they are all the rage now and sell for a hundred Baht a kilo! Bananas only sell for seven Baht! I can get a hundred or more in here, see? Three metres apart, I think, but I have to check and then chilli plants in between the bushes or trees, whatever they are.

“What do you think, Mum?”

“I think that that looks like a very feasible plan. And thirty thousand will cover it?”

“Yes, it should do, but I’ll try for a discount anyway, obviously.” She grinned broadly at her mother and eventually her mother smiled back.

“Or you could become my partner, Mum, and we’ll split the profits fifty-fifty.”

She slapped Lek’s arm gently, “Get away with you. I’m too old for new business ventures. You’re on your own, unless you want to ask someone else, but I wouldn’t. One person can handle this alone quite easily, but two would be falling over each other.”

“Yes, you’re probably right, Mum. I wouldn’t want to share the profits with anyone but you anyway. It is a good idea and it is thanks to you – and Craig – that we can get the project off the ground so quickly, so why should we share that with anyone else?

“I think I’ll go and look at mapang trees and see if Don can start building the shed too. Might as well get on with it, eh? The sooner the plants are in the ground, the sooner the money is in the bank. Thanks again, Mum, I’ll see you later. I should be back by five to meet Craig at Nong’s, so if you see him, will you try to tell him that? I don’t want to go back into the house now. I can’t wait to get started

“I haven’t been so excited for... I don’t know, ages.”

“Oh, Lek, I almost forgot. Jan, the mayor’s wife, came by earlier to see me about something and she asked me if I could give you these papers. They are to do with the courses available at the school. She said to tell you that people who are interested should go for registration at the school on Monday 8th October and that classes would start the following Saturday or the one after that.”

∞

Lek had had a very productive day and couldn’t wait to tell Craig the news – to show off a little. She really wanted him to see her as a fully contributing partner in their relationship. She was aware that that small piece of land wouldn’t make them rich, but it would be a start and who knew? If Fate dealt the right hand, she might be able to expand. She had to try very hard not to imagine having hundreds of rai in five years time. She turned a corner on to the main road home and a speeding lorry missed her by twelve inches.

She was shaking badly, but she wanted to get to Nong’s as soon as possible. On arrival, she collapsed into a heap on the bench and wept out loud.

“Whatever is the matter, Lek, what has happened?”

“Give me a brandy, please. I have good news, but I have shock, just now. I nearly die same Joy.”

Craig ordered a half bottle of brandy from Nong, who also brought a glass, ice and soda, which was how most locals drank Regency Brandy.

“Whatever has happened, Lek,” asked Nong, virtually pushing Craig aside and taking charge.”

Lek explained, and satisfied with the latest gossip in town, Nong moved off.

“What happened, Lek?”

“I have had a fantastic day. Mum is happy about selling me the land and she likes my plans about what to do with it, so I went out today to look at fruit. I talked to farmers and chang and I was coming back very happy to tell you, when a truck nearly hit me same Joy. Not his fault, I was daydreaming, but I am OK now. I want to tell you about my idea. I want to know what you think.”

They were sitting down at the table opposite each other and clinked glasses. Lek showed him her rough sketch of the plot and the rows of trees and bushes. She showed him where the hut would go and hoped for his approval.

“What you think?”

”I am no farmer, Lek, but I can see that you have thought about it and if your mother thinks that it will work, then your opinion and hers are good enough for me. I wish you all the best, but try harder to stay alive to enjoy it, please.”

Thy clinked glasses again.

“One more thing. There are many kinds of mapang and I want you to come with me tomorrow to the nursery to choose one or two varieties to plant. Will you do that?”

“Sure, I’d love to. Thanks very much. You know, you have had more success today – in one day – than I have had this month. What is the shed for? Tools?”

“No, well, maybe a few, but I want to grow mushrooms in there. You love mushrooms, so I want to grow special mushrooms for your dinner.”

“Magic mushrooms?”

“I don’t understand. I know ‘magic’ and I know ‘mushrooms’, but I do not know magic mushrooms. You cannot grow by magic, just with water and flower food. Maybe ask Buddha for help.”

“No, I’m only joking, dear. Magic mushrooms are the same as ganja. People eat and see colours and everything. Like acid trip. Like hippies. They grow in the grass in Wales and everywhere in Europe.”

“Ah, joking again... I don’t like drugs. Only whisky, beer and brandy... and some more, like tequila...”

“Yes, I know, don’t worry. I was only joking. Forget it. It’s a very good idea. I love mushrooms and toadstools if they’re not poisonous, but if you are running a business, we will buy the mushrooms that we eat from you. When you have big money, we can eat them for free. OK?”

“OK, telak, OK, good idea. Nothing for free when we start.”

∞

The next day they went to the nursery shortly after lunch, despite it being Lek’s least favourite time of the day, but she wore a crash helmet to keep the sun off her face, add-on sleeves and gloves to keep the sun off her arms, and socks. She worked hard to keep her skin as pale as possible, as did most women, so she wasn’t going to ruin a month’s work by going out for two hours in the Thai midday heat.

At the nursery, they were treated like visiting dignitaries, but Lek was going to spend up to twenty thousand Baht, so it was a big sale by any standard in rural Thailand. First they were introduced to all the family, who worked on the farm-nursery and then Craig was asked if he would prefer a beer or tea – he chose beer and Lek had tea. They were seated under a canopy of grapes on vines and served a dozen coin-sized slices of mapang arranged in pairs. Lek explained that these were the varieties grown at the farm.

They chose four of the six and then eight more pieces were brought. Lek wanted it narrowed down to two, which they did after a short debate. Lek took it very seriously and Craig tried to as well, but it reminded him of TV wine critics going on about minor subtleties that most people wouldn’t notice. For his part, he just chose the sweetest varieties, the ones that tasted most like a ripe mango, but Lek found one of the slightly more bitter ones more thirst quenching.

Lek chose the sweetest and the least bitter varieties. The husband of the farm, stood at a respectful distance making noises and answering Lek’s questions like a good sommelier should. When she had made her final choices, a dozen of each was brought on a plate by the owner’s wife to prove that the quality and flavour were consistent.

When Lek had agreed the deal by word of mouth, they were brought a large carrier bag containing six bags of mapang, one of each variety, to eat at home. That bag full alone was worth six hundred Baht in a food market. Lek put all her gear back on, everybody waaied everybody several times and they headed off back to the village.

Craig wanted to stop at Nong’s, Lek sighed inwardly and acquiesced.

“So what was said there exactly? I know there was more going on than I understood. It all seemed a very civilised way of doing business, I must say.”

Lek was as pleased as Punch. “Yesterday, I told the farmer that I had a plot of land that I wanted to put about one hundred mapang on. I showed him my drawing and told him the rough size. Today we chose the varieties. Tomorrow, he will come and look at the land and tell me what I need to do to it and how to set it out and then he will select a hundred trees of two metres and delver them when I am ready.”

“Sounds great, so when will you put them in the ground?”

“It depends, I don’t think that there is a problem with the land, so maybe we can start the day after tomorrow. I will need help to dig the holes... and I have asked chang to build a shed for my mushrooms. I must check when he will start.”

Craig was really pleased to see Lek looking so happy. He wanted to hug her, but he knew that although he could get away with doing that in public once in a blue moon, he could not at the moment, so he just sat there and admired her.

∞

Lek was up early, as usual the following day, but she didn’t stop to do any housework or water her plants. She had other plans for the day. She wore similar protection from the sun as the day before, but she replaced the crash helmet with a T-shirt over her head, leaving just a slit for her eyes by tying the shirt sleeves behind her head in the old Thai-farmer style and she wore a wide-brimmed raffia hat on top. She looked like a Mexican ninja, but very fetching. She had an appointment with the mapang farmer to survey her land. He turned up within the expected bounds of punctuality in Thailand and they walked the field together.

“The soil is good, Lek. Very good. You should do well here...”

“It is... was my mother’s land. She grew bananas here for decades, but nothing for the last five or six years. I suppose all the leaves from the trees have rotted down...”

“Yes... there is a slight fall to over there. What is there?” They walked over. “As I suspected, a bit of a bog, where your water drains to. Is that your land too?”

“No, but they have never complained about it getting water-logged...”

“Well, it will get pretty wet when it rains, I imagine, but the good news is, that your hundred trees will soak up any spare moisture from now on, so that will cease to be a worry...”

Lek never had worried about it and nor had anyone else, but it was comforting to know that it never would be a problem either.

“Er, which way do you suggest I plant the rows of trees?”

“Oh, you want them running across here... the first row between us and the bog and so on behind us. That way, any excess water flows onto the trees and gets sucked up. If you have them running the other way the water may by-pass the trees in the early years before the roots have spread. Once they are three metres high it won’t matter a rat’s arse... hmm, sorry, it won’t matter at all.”

Lek carried on walking, pretending not to have heard his slip of the tongue. “So, you don’t think I need to do anything then?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, no. You don’t need to do anything, but you could dig a foot down in the lines where you are planting and turn the soil over... get this leaf mulch in the soil to help the roots, but you could just put a spadeful of rotted cow muck in there instead. Here’s a tip, when you dig out for the saplings, put the spoil to the side, so as to make walk-ways between the rows.

“That’ll encourage the rainwater to flow around the roots and keep your feet dry when you’re inspecting them in wet weather, although these buggers love rain.. the more the better. Sorry for my bad language, miss, I’m used to mixing in the fields and all...”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve heard worse. Well, thank you very much for your advice. When can I have the saplings?”

“How do you want them? Ten a day starting tomorrow? Just say the word.”

“Right... there will be three of us on spades, do you think five a day each and we can make the walkways as we go?”

“Certainly, Khun Lek, there’s no need to kill yourselves is there? Five a day each is a fair clip, so I’ll deliver 30 every two days, then if you want to do more you can… but don’t leave ‘em standing more than that. I’ll wrap the roots in plastic, but you’ll have to get them in the ground pretty fast and get them well-watered in. If you over-run, phone me and I’ll put off delivery for a day. OK?”

“Sure, thank you very much for all your help and advice. Give your wife my regards and say that my husband asked me to say ‘thank you’ for the hospitality we were shown yesterday.”

“OK, miss, I mean Khun Lek. Thanks for doing business with us too.”

∞

Lek and her employee friends worked every day until five and so did the bricklayer, chang. At five, they would have a perfunctory wash in the field and Lek would take them to Nong’s to join Craig. Lek bought the drink, a bottle of whisky, and a few packets of crisps and they would sit there talking loudly like the crew off a yacht that had just put in after a day at sea.

It often annoyed Craig that they spoiled the peacefulness of his only two hours off a day, especially when he couldn’t understand what they were saying and so felt left out, but he pretended to be having a pleasant time and hoped that he nodded and shook his head at the right times. He didn’t want to appear a miserable sod, which of course he wasn’t.

Not normally, anyway.

Lek looked forward to the hour drinking with her workmates and then the hour bringing Craig up to date with what had happen during the day. They had been scared by snakes, threatened by scorpions, seen beautiful birds that didn’t come into the village and even seen a pangolin in the area by the bog – a big lizard that bore a passing resemblance to a juvenile Komodo Dragon. Don, the bricklayer had wanted to take it home to eat, but Lek had claimed rights over it and scared it away.

On the eighth day, Craig was invited to go and look at their handiwork. He was very impressed that so much could be accomplished in a week, considering how long it had taken the builders to convert their house several years before.

“I’m impressed, Lek. I didn’t see it before, but this is really nice. I hope you do well here. He gave her a big hug and the other people there awkwardly pretended not to notice.

That evening in Nong’s, over a celebratory bottle of beer Chang – it was the only alcoholic drink that Nong served that had bubbles in it – Lek revealed the second item of which she was very proud:

“Telak, you remember I told you that I wanted to go back to school to get the brain of an eighteen year old? Well, I signed up for a Saturday morning course yesterday and today Jan phoned me to say that they had more than the minimum number of students to begin the course.

“Guess what I am going to be studying?”

“Er, um, teaching? Nursery school assistant? Child Care? I don’t know, I give up.”

“Business Administration,” she announced proudly.

5 ONE HUNDRED DAYS

Lek had not felt so empowered since she had stopped working in Pattaya. She loved Craig, as far as she understood the definition of the word, because she had no doubt that love meant different things to different people. Her idea of love did not entail any restriction of freedom. The only thing that stopped her doing absolutely anything she wanted, was that she didn’t want to hurt Craig’s feelings.

She had already told him several times over the years that if she caught him playing about, she would take him for every penny he had and then dump him and she knew people who could advise her how to do it.

However, she did feel ‘beholden’ to him, because he had worked so hard for nearly a decade and had spent all his savings on them and was now selling his house too. She felt that she would never have done that for anyone except Soom, not even her mother, whom she loved dearly.

In Pattaya she had been in charge of her life in a way that would never have been possible in Baan Suay – heck, it wasn’t even possible now. People in the village worked hard, but there was little entertainment during the day, so those not at work watched TV and gossiped and then told their family when they came home and then they talked about it in their turn the following day in the fields.

She hated the gossip and the scrutiny. When she had first gone back seven or eight years before, it had been even worse, because people had held her ‘job’ against her. It was easier now, because she had ‘proved’ herself and the villagers had mellowed a little with the departure of so many young girls to the cities to seek their fortunes.

Lek knew how that worked and she knew what most of them would be doing, if not by day then by night and on the weekends.

In ‘her day’, twenty years before, those who went away, usually went to fulfil a goal. She had gone to save the family farm from foreclosure, but these days most girls went because they wanted the deposit for a car or wanted to leave the country with a foreign husband. She had wanted both of those things, but had fallen in love with Craig and he had fallen in love with Thailand and she had wanted to stick by her daughter at least until Soom didn’t need her anymore.

Now that Soom was at university in Bangkok five hundred kilometres away, her life seemed empty. Yes, she had Craig, but it was not the same. He was working all day and didn’t enjoy the same party lifestyle that she did, but he didn’t often get jealous about it and she knew where he was.

Now things were different again though, she had a business, albeit a small one and she was studying, even if it was only four hours a week. She felt that she had regained some control over her life, although her philosophy and her religion told her that Karma ruled destiny. That was a deep one for her at the moment, so she was going to go with the flow; be as good a person as possible; and throw herself into her work and studies.

And she did so. With a vengeance. Lek did the housework including the garden in the early morning as the sun was coming up; she studied a bit with Craig in his office in the afternoon and she watered her Suan – her market garden in the evening so that the sun would not boil the leaves of her precious trees, which were little more than bushes, but bore so much hope. This meant that she could not always be there for evening drinks in Nong’s, but Craig understood and, hey, you can’t have everything.

She was happy with the way things were turning out. The bushes had not died, which had been a danger, but it was past and her school work was not as hard as she had expected, largely because she had helped out with the administration of her cousin’s bar for so many years and had helped her parents with the paperwork on their farm before that.

In fact, the point of the course was to help small farmers cope with the modern requirements of the Thai government. Increasingly, the government wanted proof, documents, evidence, receipts, wage slips et cetera and most Thais knew nothing of these things in the villages. Lek did have prior knowledge from the bar, so she was actually a few steps ahead of her classmates who ranged in age from fifteen years younger to fifteen years older than herself.

She loved being one of the smartest in the class after thinking that she was one of the thickest for miles around for decades. It was doing her self-confidence and her self-esteem a power of good.

The course did not include computers, that would have frightened most of the farmers off joining, but she did want to ask Craig to teach her the basics of email and Facebook, so that she could keep in touch with Soom who used them extensively, as all young people were doing in Thailand. Facebook was like an epidemic and she wanted to know what it was all about too.

She made a point of being there for the five o’clock drinks that day.

“Telak, I want to have a Facebook page and an email address, do you know how to set that up for me?”

“Yes, Lek, I can show you how to do that. I can either do it for you or show you. It’s not difficult, when you know how, like most things. We can do it tonight or tomorrow, if you like.”

“Tonight would suit me, darling, if you are not too busy.

“Lek, I just offered. If you want, we can take a few bottles home and I’ll show you when we have finished this one.”

“Yes, please! I am anxious to learn. It will save money too, telak, if I can email Soom instead of phoning her every evening. In fact, while we are drinking up, I’ll phone her and ask her to text you her Facebook page and email address. You will need those, won’t you?”

“I know her Facebook page already, but you can ask for her email address. That would help.”

Lek got on the phone immediately, but that was nothing new – she only needed half an excuse to phone someone up and none at all where Soom was concerned.

When they got home, Craig set up his laptop while Lek poured him a beer and got an extra chair so that she could sit by him.

“Right, the first thing to do, is decide what you want your Facebook page to be called. You can change it later, but it is better to get it right the first time.”

He let her think about that for a while.

“Lek and My Garden,” she said.

“Yes, you could have that, but, I don’t know...”

“Lek in Baan Suay”

“Again, yes, but..., I don’t know, I always try for something memorable and ‘Baan Suay’ – I may be wrong – but no-one has ever heard of it...”

“Lek in Pattaya’...”

“OK, let’s go with that for now. Like I said, you can change it later if you want.”

Craig showed her step by step, how to set up her Facebook page called http://facebook.com/LekInPattaya and then they moved on to the email.

“I can set you up with Hotmail or Yahoo or add you to one of my web sites, if you want.”

“What is the difference?”

“Most good names on Hotmail and Yahoo have already been taken and free addresses look juvenile and amateurish anyway, but if you use one of my sites, you can have any name you like, except Craig, and it looks professional.”

“OK, I’ll go with you.”

He showed her a list of his web sites.

“Pick one that you like...”

“How about this one?”

“Sure, ‘Behind The Smile’ it is. And your name?”

“‘LekinPattaya’”

“There is no reason to use your Facebook name. That is a different thing, you can be ‘Lek Williams’ or just ‘Lek’ here on my domain if you like.”

“OK, ‘Lek’.”

“So, on the Internet, that becomes ‘Lek’ – they prefer small letters – and your ‘street address’ is ‘behind-the-smile.org’ so your full email address is now ‘lek@behind-the-smile.org‘. Easy, wasn’t it?”

“You made it look easy, yes, but I don’t know whether I could do that on my own.”

“Look, Lek, no-one is born with the knowledge. We all have to learn what we know. Fifteen years ago, I didn’t know how to create an email address, last year, I didn’t know how to create a Facebook page, I still don’t know what Instagram is all about, so you just find out, if you’re interested, don’t you?

“You never saw the need for email or Facebook before today or a few days ago, now you do. Maybe your Mum will see a need for it next month. Or maybe not. It doesn’t matter, does it? I can’t change a nappy, but not having had any kids and not likely to either, that doesn’t matter either, does it? No-one can know everything. You pick what you need and leave the rest. Don’t worry that you don’t know what other people know.”

“I can see what you are saying, but it is easy for you to say because you do know. Now I want to know too.”

“Lek, some people want to build clocks, some people only want to know how they work and even more just want to tell the time. Use the Internet as a tool, if you want, by all means, but let others do the spade-work, if you don’t want to learn how to. On the other hand, learn how it all works if that’s what you want.

“I can teach you a lot of it, but really, you don’t need to know how a clock works to read the time from it.”

“OK... so, now I have an email address and a Facebook?”

“Yes. You just tell people that your Facebook address is ‘Lek in Pattaya’ and that your email address is Lek at Behind The Smile dot org – it is that simple. No need to explain anything, if they don’t understand then they wouldn’t know how to use the information anyway.

“So, if people ask me my email address, I say: ‘Lek at Behind The Smile dot org’ and my Facebook is Lek in Pattaya... It is that easy... Really..?

“So, I can send Soom an email now? And put a message on her Facebook?”

“Yes, like this for email.... and like this for Facebook.... Now just type something and click here. This is in English and click here to change the keyboard, this thing, into Thai.”

“Wow, and that is free?”

“It is for you... but I had to buy a computer and I pay TOT six hundred Baht every month for the Internet, and I pay every year for the domain name – the behind-the-smile.org bit - but after that it is free, yes.”

∞

Lek found out over the following few weeks that she was not really interested in knowing how the clock worked, but she did wanted to tell the time and often. It seemed that whenever, Craig got to up to get a cup of coffee, Lek was at his computer when he got back. It was easy to see what her next Christmas present should be.

Saturday school was a joy to her. She didn’t need to be able to use a computer for it because they did all their work with figures on a traditional paper spreadsheet, but Craig showed her how to transfer all the figures to Excel and let the computer take care of the calculations for her.

She was soon hooked. Lek went from being one of the most atechnical people in the world, to one of the most knowledgeable about using a computer in the village. At least among those over twenty-five years of age and not that that was difficult in a village which had only acquired its first computer a few years before, but it was a big achievement nevertheless and one which she would have said would have been impossible a month before.

She passed her first end of term exams at the top of the class and derived great pleasure from helping those in her form who were struggling to keep up. Craig was very proud of her and when Soom came back for the end of term break just before Christmas, she was flabbergasted at the transformation in her mother.

When Craig bought her a laptop, she and Soom spent all day setting it up together and copying programmes from Craig’s and Soom’s computers. Soom’s English was pretty good, but she did all her computing in Thai, mainly because the teachers and her fellow pupils could not speak English so well, but Lek did not have that problem, so she wanted her computer set up in English.

Craig was dismayed that Soom was having to dumb down to doing everything in Thai instead of English, not because the Thai language was deficient, but because it was restrictive. He had met dozens of bright computer kids in Thailand who could not converse about their computers in English even though they had learned the English terminology. Their pronunciation was just so bad and they had learned that from their teachers.. Computer became ‘com’; programme, ‘progra’; monitor was ‘scee’; keyboard ‘keybo’; hard drive was ‘ha dive’ - it seemed such a waste.

Those kids would forever only ever be able to work in Thailand for low wages. He wanted Soom to speak correctly and learn computers in English, but the quality of the teaching staff was such that she was being taught wrong – nobody in the world would ever understand her except Thais. He was glad that Lek was avoiding this trap, although it meant learning a whole raft of new terminology, which she could either learn correctly or badly.

The converse was that no Thais would be able to understand her now, although the rest of the world would, not that she had any plans to be an International, jet-setting computer wizard yet.

Soom, Lek and Craig were able to have three-way discussions on computer-related topics for the first time ever, not that many people would find that enviable.

∞

Their sixth wedding anniversary was on the 20th of November, but they didn’t want to make a big fuss about it. More important in the practical sense was that Craig’s three-month visa would expire the same day. That would be a clash for ever more unless they changed it so Lek asked one of her cousins to take them to Naan for the day on the 14th of November to get a visa.

Neither of them had been to Naan before although the province was less than three hundred kilometres away and none of the three expected to enjoy the trip. It was all up mountain on the western side and mostly down mountain on the east, but the scenery was fantastic.

They left at six a.m arrived at eleven, were done by noon and on the way back. Lek and Craig wished that they had gone alone, because that remote mountain province was just the sort of place they liked to explore.

They arrived back in Baan Suay at six fifteen and they took the driver to Nong’s for a ‘thank you’ drink, although he didn’t stay long as it was not a place he felt happy drinking in. Most people in the village felt like that, and so did Lek to a certain degree. Villagers preferred to drink at home.

As the driver was leaving, Craig asked Lek to tell him that they would put him up for a night in the city of Naan, if he took them next time, but Lek didn’t look keen and may have said something else.

Lek gave him three thousand Baht for his trouble and he went away a happy man.

∞

Other than Lek and her computer and Soom coming home for a fortnight, Christmas was a washout for Craig, but that was neither a surprise nor a disappointment. He had become used to it. When he had first arrived in the village, no-one had even known what Christmas, or ‘Kisma’, Day was. They were all Buddhists, so why should they? But gradually, over the years a few people had cottoned on and some even surprised him by wishing him ‘Happy Kisma’. He rarely said it first to anyone over the age of ten, because the youngsters were normally told in school about big days in all major religions.

Craig did his annual tour of the village hot spots during the morning, drinking a beer in each of the five local shops, telling those who were curious why he was out drinking so early, what day it was. Most were none the wiser when they walked away bemused.

There were now two Internet Cafes in the village, which created two fifty-metre radius Wi-Fi hotspots. Luckily for Craig, there was a shop in each of them and the owners had been good enough to give him their passwords so that he could surf from outside. One covered Nong’s shop and the other was at the far end of the village about five hundred metres away, which gave him a good excuse to get the only exercise he ever got.

They had almost totally given up celebrating Christmas. In the beginning, when Soom had been younger, it was fun to decorate the patio with trimmings and lights that played tunes, but when they broke, they were not replaced and no-one missed them. Craig had also used to cook a Christmas Dinner of roast chicken, roast potatoes and the like. Soom and Lek would eat some out of politeness, but he had always eaten most of it himself and cold, so he stopped. Likewise with cakes.

For the first few years he had baked a couple of cakes on Christmas morning, but one year he had used mono-sodium glutamate instead of salt and they were as hard as concrete. Not even Bpom and Bpouy, the dogs, would eat them. Everybody, including Craig, had had a good laugh, but he didn’t cook any more at Christmas ever again. Their wedding had been the last time, six years before.

There was a baker in the village now anyway who would make bread in the European style at twenty-four hours’ notice and fantastic chocolate cakes and pizzas. Bread had been something that Craig had missed badly, now he only needed a dairy farmer to make some cheese and he would be as happy as a skylark.

Despite the fact that Christmas was not a time for celebration in Baan Suay and the surrounding area, there were normally more parties than would be usual in the West. This had always come as a surprise to Craig, even though he had been there some years. December is also Thailand’s winter, so the ‘cool’ evenings were ideal for garden parties and the New Year was the perfect excuse. Cool in Thailand though meant about 25°c, so there was no hardship.

The parties started in late November to early December and there were dozens of them. Craig liked to limit them to two a week, but Lek often went to four. The village council held a party, the town council too; the schools all held parties and so did many businesses, most of which allowed friends of employees or customers. The banks held them and local government agencies did as well. Big farmers held them and so did the church charities.

Then New Year’s Eve, every family held their own party then. In the midst of all this merry-making, one family had a more sombre task to perform, because it was one hundred days since Joy’s death on the 27th of December. Thais take the One Hundred Days funeral celebration very seriously and so it was with Joy’s family too.

Lek responded to the call to action at five o’clock in the morning and went next door to help cook for the monks and guests, who would arrive at about ten, since the monks had to finish eating for the day before noon. The monks chanted for the departed spirit of Joy and the well-wishers prayed for her happiness in the afterlife, then the monks went back to the Wat and the music, food and card-playing began.

Lek actually wanted to leave at that point and get on with some studying on her new computer, but her friends hadn’t got used to her new ways and persuaded her to share a bottle of whiskey and play cards. Craig watched disapprovingly from the desk in his office. She knew what he was thinking, but did not feel that she could do anything about it. Craig didn’t mind too much about the odd occasion either, but he didn’t want it to become a habit, because the only two women he knew who played cards regularly were outrageous liars and always broke.

He had lent one of them five hundred Baht for her daughter’s birthday party years previously on Lek’s advice, but he had never seen the money again. After months of her saying ‘I’ll pay you next week’, Craig had told Lek to tell her to ‘get stuffed’. Lek hadn’t said that, of course, she would never be so rude, but she did arrange for her friend to work three days in the house garden at half rate to pay it off. She had never asked them to lend her money again.

Joy’s family gave Joy a second day of remembrance with the monks which followed the same pattern as the first and then she was left to carry on with whatever her future had in store for her.

∞

Thailand celebrates three New Year’s Eves. In general, the Chinese New Year is the least celebrated, then there is the Western 31st December and the biggest by far is the old Thai New Year in April. However, the Western New Year is still pretty big by any standards.

Lek went to her mother’s house to start preparing for the party at seven a.m. and there were already people – family and elderly neighbours - there by then. Some were even drinking alcohol too, but then the Thais are not hypocritical about that sort of thing. They work hard and if they have a day off, they make the most of it by doing whatever they like no matter what anyone thinks.

This would be one of those days, but not for Craig. New Year’s Day had always been just another day for him, but not so with Lek. She had always celebrated it with her family before she had gone away and she had earned more on that night in Pattaya than any other too. People were more generous when they were drunk and there were not many sober foreigners in Pattaya on New Year’s Eve. Practically every bar had its balloons out and a pig roasting.

In the village they settled for a dozen different dishes of food and a couple of chickens, but in fact the fayre was better than in most Pattaya bars.

However, it was an all-day affair and shortly after midnight, most people were ready to go to bed. Most people except Lek and her cousin Beou that was. Beou had missed Joy’s funeral for one reason and another, so she had come for the Hundred Days and stayed for New Year. She had said that she would be back in Pattaya for the next day, so they wanted to chat together for an hour or so. Craig thought it best to take a couple of bottles home with him and leave them to it.

Lek and Beou talked about the ‘good old days’ mostly.. They talked about some of the idiots that they had had come to the bar, the antics that some of the drunks had got up to, like falling off their stools or giving all their money to one of the girls that they had fallen in love with for the moment.

They talked about holidays they had had together on the islands near Pattaya – the ‘firm’s outings’ as they called them and those that had been paid for by wealthy or crazy patrons. Some of the Arabs had been extremely well-off and one man in particular thought nothing of closing the bar for the afternoon and taking all the staff to Ko Lang a few miles off the coast.

They also talked about old colleagues, those that had done well, those that had done not so well and those that were no longer with them, like Goong. Goong’s father had passed away a long time ago, but her brothers still held Lek, Ayr and Beou responsible for ‘taking’ her to Pattaya with them, even though she had told them and everyone else that it was her idea – that she had wanted to go, because she couldn’t bear the thought of decades of boredom and drudgery living and working in an isolated village.

They had chosen not to believe her and stuck to their own version of ‘reality’. Neither of the women knew whether the brothers knew that she was now ‘on the other side’ because they wouldn’t even recognise Lek’s existence, nor Beou’s. Goong’s father had died in ignorance, because that had been Goong’s express wish and it seemed rather pointless to tell the brothers now anyway.

They had assumed, or at least were telling everybody that Goong had married a wealthy American and was living in New York. They said that they were proud of her for doing so well, despite having been ‘led astray by her friends’. Their logic did not extend to explaining how she would have met such a man if she had stayed in Baan Suay, where Craig was the only falang that anyone could remember seeing there in decades.

They were drinking Thai style, whiskey out of a shared shot glass, but Beou filled it up, raised it to Goong, said, “Wherever you may be, friend’ and drank half of it. She passed the glass to Lek, who repeated the toast to their absent sister and added: “May you always be as beautiful as the last time I saw you”.

The mood became down-beat, not quite solemn, after that, but they were both a little drunk and lost in their private meanderings down their private lanes of memories, so they said goodnight and went to their respective homes.

6 THE FAMILY BUSINESSES

The family finances were still not on a firm footing, despite the money from the sale of Craig’s flat. They were still spending more than they were earning. The vast majority of this shortfall was due to Soom’s university fees and the cost of her upkeep in Bangkok. Her small apartment in a girls-only guest-house cost more per month than some girls of her age even earned in a month at a straight job.

Then there was the school uniform, not so much a uniform as a dress code: sky-blue or white blouse and navy shorts, slacks or skirt. Basically, Soom had needed a new wardrobe in order to fit in with the mostly rich kids who normally populated the classrooms of Thai universities, especially the loftier ones in Bangkok, one of which Soom was attending.

She had also needed quite a few course books, a laptop and the de-rigeur iPad. Craig had always contended that the iPad was not one of the items necessary to study at university, but Lek wanted her to have everything she wanted and so had lost the argument. Not that he had argued very hard, he understood the desire to appear the same as everyone else, the need to fit in in people and especially in young people away from home.

Soom was now mixing with the sons and daughters of the rich and influential, quite a few brackets up from her own origins and it would have been the social kiss of death to admit that her parents could not afford something that her colleagues took for granted.

This cost a small fortune by Thai standards, although it was well below the cost of a European university education. Still, Craig didn’t begrudge her the expense, because she had worked hard to get the necessary grades to qualify for entry to this, her dream choice. Other universities would have been cheaper.

The family businesses, such as they were, consisted of Lek’s suan of fruit trees and bushes and her mushrooms and Craig’s web sites and other related Internet activities.

Craig had been slow to realise how astute, or lucky, Lek’s timing had been. She had planted her suan as the cool period had started, when the rainy season would help with the irrigation of her bushes and trees. There was no better time of the year to have done it.

The heat of May and June would have made it harder for the saplings to survive and the mini monsoon of July and August would have made working in the suan very difficult, but September and October were just about the best compromise you could get. None of the items planted had died or suffered much and now, in late January, as the temperature started to rise again, they were well enough established to survive, assuming that they got enough water and as Lek had had mains water laid on, that would not be a problem.

Craig’s admiration for Lek grew and grew. Little did he know that she would have tried to make the garden work no matter what season they had found themselves in because she was desperate for something to do, but she had realised that it was a good time of the year also. There was still enough of a farmer about her to know the seasons and how to grow things, even if she and her family had specialised more in rice for generations.

Lek’s suan had a hundred and twelve mapang bushes in it, which had not produced any fruit yet, but neither had they been expected to. The farmer from the nursery had said that some plants might produce a few fruit the following year in March, April or May, but that she should not count of it. However, twelve months later, there should be enough to sell and the year after that twice as many and that the crop might double in size every year for the next ten years, so it was a question of just making sure they got enough water and food so that they had a chance to grow.

However, although the mapang were definitely the cash crop, she was making pin money from other crops in the suan. Most of the ‘fence’ surrounding the field was dense bamboo, which was cut down young as food or allowed to grow older to order. Bamboo was used to make many things in Thailand like sala or garden shelters, scaffolding and other light structures. The bamboo grew quickly, so could be grown to two, three or even six metre lengths within months.

Bamboo, or elephant food, as Lek liked to call it, became a larger part of their regular diet in those cost-cutting days. Craig liked it the way Lek prepared it, boiled first alone to soften it and then lightly fried with pounded garlic, chilis and other spices all tossed in a beaten egg - it wasn’t an omelette, because there wasn’t enough egg to bind it. Served with fresh rice, it made a really lovely meal which soon became one of Craig’s favourites. Not only did it reduce the cholesterol and raise the amount of roughage in their diet, but it saved a few Baht too.

As Lek said: ‘Look what it does for elephants!’

Just inside the ‘fence’ was a ring of mangoes, coconuts and bananas. These crops were not worth much as the area around Baan Suay was famous for them and every garden had its own trees. However, the mango trees produced enough fruit twice a year to provide all their fruit for those months and although the bananas only cropped once a year, they produced so many bananas that they rotted before the could all be eaten.

It was customary to give the excess away, barter them with strangers or make a kind of toffee which would keep almost indefinitely. Lek’s mother was an acknowledged expert in the village for making mango, banana and pineapple toffees, although pineapples didn’t grow locally.

Coconuts kept for ages in their outer husks, which people used as kindling to start their cooking fires. Most people still cooked on an open fire or a gas ring in the garden in the traditional way, so that the cooking smells didn’t taint the house and its contents. The chilis that grew between the bushes also grew well in the area and Lek was able to sell dozens of kilos of the small, red-hot chilis called ‘mouse-shit’ chilis, although Lek and most Thais could eat them like Westerners eat popcorn.

There was also a very ready supply of the bush called ‘cha-om’. When cooked, it smelled like an open sewer to Craig and many Thais agreed, but they loved it for its slight bitterness all the same. It was added to soups and stews or chewed raw to clean the teeth after a meal in the fields. Lek sold bags of it, which Craig was glad of, because otherwise she would have brought it home to eat.

However, the star of Lek’s garden at the time was the mushroom shed. It had been a stroke of genius, because she was the only one doing it for miles around, although it was obvious that that exclusivity would not last long. Lek produced fungi and mushrooms of all sizes and types, according to the season, in the darkness of her humid shed, although a lot of the popular varieties grew all year around, since the climate didn’t vary much around Baan Suay anyway.

People flocked to her for her mushrooms. On a harvest day, she would sell out in thirty or forty minutes. Three or four kilos gone at twenty Baht per hundred grammes, ten or twelve times a month. The mushrooms paid for Soom’s accommodation and pocket money on their own and she wished that she had had a bigger shed built. She intended to build another.

Ideas for expansion included flowers, orchids and other ‘unusual’ ‘hanging plants’ that many Thai housewives liked to use to decorate their homes and dining areas. It seemed that the more Lek did, the more she thought of doing. It was certainly true in her case that success bred success.

Lek was on a roll for the first time since she had met Craig, although she would not have phrased it like that to him, even if the thought had crossed her mind.

Craig’s contribution to the family finances came solely from his Internet work and savings, which included the sale of his house. Craig had about a hundred and fifty web sites of varying quality. Google’s Panda update had hit him quite hard, because he couldn’t write enough articles to keep them ‘fresh’ enough to stay at the top of search results, so he was paring them down working on the Pareto Principle, which stated that eighty percent of the effects came from twenty percent of the causes or that his top thirty web sites were producing eighty percent of his revenue. In fact, they weren’t but it wasn’t far enough off to argue about.

Craig decided to abandon a hundred web sites as they came up for their annual renewal and concentrate on his best performers. However, even running just fifty web sites was a mammoth task for one person, because it would mean writing seven, five-hundred word articles a day, which exceeded his maximum sustainable output. One day, he knew that he would have to lose another twenty.

However, on the plus side, he had always built web sites of at least five pages, with twenty supporting articles for each, so dropping a hundred web sites would give him twenty-five hundred, five-hundred-word articles to do with as he liked. Losing another twenty gave another five hundred. All he had to do now was figure out what to do with those three thousand unique articles.

The web sites had paid for daily living costs for the last five or six years, but the income had not extended to health insurance, visa expenses and holidays (and now university fees). This was the shortfall that had depleted his savings and cost him his flat. Lek’s income helped, but it was still only twenty-five percent of what Soom needed for university, so until the mapang came on line, it was up to Craig to provide the money. His savings would cover that, but it did produce a very precarious situation.

One avenue open to him was the sale of those redundant articles to other web masters as PLR articles, which meant that the purchasers had the right to publish them under their own names. He had already begun to bundle articles on the same subject into ebooks on niche subjects and they were selling. Not in large quantities yet, but enough to show that money could be made there and that his articles would not go to waste.

He was making about two ebooks a week with fifteen articles in each, so he had the potential to make about two hundred ebooks and sell them multiple times each at about $5 net revenue to himself. If he retained eighty percent of the revenue from his web sites as predicted by the Pareto Rule and grew his ebook income, he thought that they could survive until the mapang could help out, but it was still iffy. Very iffy.

They needed yet more streams of income. Craig thought of eBay, but although that might work in Pattaya with its big markets, it was a lot more difficult in the countryside. He thought that he could provide a bespoke article-writing service of some sort. If a webmaster needed a set of articles on a niche subject he could write them and sell them with copyright. He might even be able to create websites for people, although there were Asians doing that already who would charge less than he and do a better job. No, he could see that a lot of his potential to earn depended on his ability to write well in English.

He had seen many web sites over the years with an appalling standard of English, obviously created by people whose second-language was English. There was also probably a market for those who could write but didn’t have the time. Creating on line publicity was an on-going process as he knew only too well.

Then there was the time that Lek had thought that he had said that he was going to write a book. He was certainly not shy of writing now and was having some success with his web sites and ebooks, so why not put a few hours a day into writing a novel too? That would definitely take a different thought process though - one long, sustained story of eighty-five to a hundred thousand words was a different kettle of fish to a string of five-hundred-word articles.

Craig foresaw that continuity could be a problem if he stopped writing for a long period of time. Or should he keep notes? He had no idea, but he decided to start thinking about it and writing down some ideas when he next went to Nong’s. It was an interesting idea to write a novel, but very risky. He wouldn’t know whether his book would sell until after having spent hundreds of hours on it.

Hundreds of hours, the equivalent of five weeks work. Could he afford to lose five weeks work for no pay? Certainly not, but he still had money in the bank to tide them over, so if he was ever going to try it, now was the time.

Lek also had ideas of extending herself. She was still top of her class and she had lost her natural fear for computers now, so she was thinking about giving private lessons. She also thought that Craig could teach English, using the computer and the Internet as the focal point. They could even teach as a partnership to say ten or so people on a Saturday morning.

Her idea was not to just teach English in the conventional way, using colours, parts of the body, kitchen items, etc, but to teach computer terminology with the correct pronunciation and teach how to go on line and use the Internet. As Craig had told her, not everyone wants to know how the clock works, most people only want to know the time.

She could show them that or they both could.

Both of them came to these conclusions separately, but at roughly the same time. That was not anything wondrous, since they were close although they had had their rough patches, and money was an issue, so it was inevitable that they would both be thinking of ways to improve their financial health. Besides, they both knew that the inevitable outcome of doing nothing would be that Craig would be deported for insufficient funds and if he had no money, then he could not take Lek back to the UK either, which meant enforced separation and neither of them could bring themselves to contemplate that prospect.

It was there though, as large as life, looming over them a few years into the future, if they didn’t do something effective to prevent it happening now.

Craig got to Nong’s first, as he usually did, but instead of setting up his computer he took a notebook and pen out of his bag and wrote the date on a clean page. After a few minutes, in which Nong brought his beer, glass and ice, he wrote ‘Ideas for a Novel’ in the centre of the top line.

It would not have looked much to an onlooker, but to Craig it was momentous, because it meant that he was seriously going to try to write a novel and, given his circumstances, it would have to be a popular one. He sat back, pen in one hand, pint glass in the other and stared at the enormity of the implications. He was going to try to be a successful novelist as the result of a chance comment from someone, all right, his wife, when she had misheard him say something.

What gall to think that he could become a writer! He wondered what it would entail. After all, he had ‘written’ since he was in school and he had written letters since he had left home. Then