Lies of closed eyes
Виктория Олеговна Рогозина

© Виктория Олеговна Рогозина, 2023

ISBN 978-5-0059-4625-6

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Lies of closed eyes

An interesting story not based on real events. The characters are original and fictional. In addition to all life (and not so) horrors, the book describes an extraordinary and beautiful love story. Or maybe not.

– Prologue-

– The thought is material. Is always. Anywhere and everywhere. We are what we think, how we think and about what. What matters is HOW we think. You probably noticed that some people think completely differently. Each from the height of his flight… experience… goals… inspiration… Your judgments may not coincide, you can come to the same conclusion in different ways or disagree with the same approach.

The venerable lecturer in the cassock walked leisurely from side to side along the blackboard.

– God teaches us to love. God teaches us good. A kind, bright person does not focus on the negative side of life.

The students obediently wrote down everything in notebooks, softly squeaking with ballpoint pens and keeping the audience quiet.

“Well, why did I not sunk you like that?” – Michael looked at the slender, quiet student and remembered. Once upon a time, he also sat in the classroom, recorded lectures. Nothing changes.

– Chapter 1-

And happiness was so possible…

Seraphim in the Jewish and Christian tradition —

the highest angelic rank, closest to God.

The strongest and most powerful angels in Christianity.

Beings whose tasks were to carry out the orders of God

on earth and the fight against the forces of darkness.

The lecture turned out to be boring – it could not be a discovery, because rarely was the material given in an exciting way. Such is the usual life of a student – write down what is required and cramming in order to pass the exam in the future. As always, the teacher was not too concerned about our real learning, leaving the main (read, as most) material for independent study. I entered Moscow State University and yes, this is not the Moscow State University that you could just think of, although it was also located in the “non-rubber”, the capital of our vast beloved homeland. Magical State University was famous for constantly trying to compete with the equally famous Lemur Academy, which, alas, got the best of the best, but this competition made no sense – not the level. I had no particular talent. I could not boast of anything at all, except for a foul character and a bunch of bad habits.

The university and the dormitory were located in one of the Moscow Stalinkas. I liked to get to the roof – an amazing place far away and at the same time close to people. And there was an amazing view from there. Moscow is an eternally sleepless city, a city of lights and parties. I liked to be on the roof and watch how somewhere there, people are bustling about, like ants are scurrying about.

I moved to the “non-rubber” recently, slightly late for the start of the school year. My small town couldn’t offer any decent options other than marrying a wino “everything like people” or living on credit, which, however, would correspond to the previous point. And also give birth to kids and live a “happy” full life. But such a prospect (if it can be called a prospect at all) did not smile at me. Having spit on everything and on the principle of “take everything from life”, I took a chance to enter hardcore and, op-pa, I entered, having passed the exams with an average passing score. Fortunately, I was lucky and allocated a small room on the penultimate floor – a small closet, but extremely comfortable. And most importantly, this “solitary cell” will not have to be shared with anyone. Many expressed sympathy for me, considering for some reason that I live in inhuman conditions, but I did not share this opinion. Generally accepted opinion in general often ran counter to mine. In general, there was another room to choose from, but there I would have to share a place with three more girls, but square meters did not infringe on “personal space”. But living alone is much better.

A deafening bell rang and the students slowly gathered up, getting ready for the next class, talking among themselves, discussing the last lecture and the imminent lunch break – oh yes, holy lunch. All training was based on some very strange system, more reminiscent of the logic of a drunken gopher who visited an art gallery during Mercury retrograde. A very large block was devoted to mythology, psychology and religion of the world, which for my understanding was beyond good, evil and other living creatures. At the very first lecture, it was as if they told us the ultimate truth, like an annoying mantra, that a thought is material, that it is fulfilled and that we must do everything to translate all our thoughts into reality. Well, complete nonsense. Who can seriously believe this? If this were real, then humanity would have put an end to hostility and hunger long ago. Despite the fact that for a year now all TV channels have been broadcasting that vampires, werewolves and other evil spirits are quite real, it looked like another stage of zombification and an opportunity to blame possible “hanging” and “grouse” on otherworldly forces. And it was only recently that we survived another pandemic, and now some vampires. Well, at least “MMM” was not returned, and thanks for that.

Stumbling over the threshold, I entered the audience and, thank God, no one paid attention to me. Students communicated, filmed something on their phones in popular social networks, shared likes, boasted of followers. Someone was listening to terrible music through a speaker. A group of guys in the “gallery” played cards. Another group of students were arguing loudly, trying to decide which school was better: Lemur Academy or Whale Academy. At the moment, these are the most popular educational institutions, whose graduates become famous throughout the globe, those who are ready to bend the world, work and May for the company. Despite the fact that opinions were divided, but whatever one may say, everyone spoke positively about the Lemur Academy, although there were a great many rumors around this institution and its graduates and not all of them were unambiguous. It was more like myths and legends about free education (if I don’t forget, I’ll write such a post on my social network).

– Taylor, – Vosmyachkin sat down next to me. A kind and very gentle guy who strove for dialogue. Extrovert, in a word. Normal. Sociable, sometimes without any measure, which is why he runs into rudeness. The same person that they sing about “this guy was one of those who just love life.”

– Hello, – out of politeness, I slightly stretched my lips in a smile that tried to grow into a hyena’s grin, the inconvenience was such that a little more and reduce the jaw. I was forced to pull out one earpiece, hinting that I was not too eager to communicate, although Vosmyachkin had never been stopped by such behavior.

– Did you make matan?

– Yes.

– Wow, that’s cool. Can you explain to me the solution for the seventh, eighth, twentieth and twenty-third tasks, – he checked some notes in his notebook. – I’m not sure I made the right decision. But maybe I will find a mistake with you, and it turns out that I did everything right.

Yes, yes, he considers women more stupid than men, and in any case he tries to at least hint at this; as a maximum – poke a muzzle and hurt more. I don’t want to argue, I don’t want to convince. I don’t need it. However, I don’t need anything. Just go with the flow, detachedly observing life. I had no goals, no dreams, just a certain detachment, perhaps apathy.

– I can let you write off, but I will not explain anything. I’m not a tutor, – I offered the most painless option for myself. And then last time Vosmyachkin demanded an explanation of all thirty-two tasks and did not lag behind until they really sorted everything out. I remembered already shuddered, I would not want to repeat such an experience.

– Goes.

Shrugging my shoulders, I took out the right notebook from my backpack and gave it to my classmate.

“I’ll bring it in in the evening,” he assured with an oath, after a little screening, observing a social distance, but that’s not the point. Vosmyachkin, like the others, tried not to sit close to me, noticing that I liked solitude. I do not like being in society, but society is an integral part of our life, which is difficult to refuse in modern realities.

An iridescent bell marked the end of the break, and the students sat down together in their places, preparing to “nibble on the granite of science.” The religion of the world was taught to us by an elderly priest. Surprisingly, he could captivate students and almost immediately fell in love with everyone. Bishop Innokenty, whom the students affectionately called “Father”, taught well. Rumor has it that the director could hardly persuade the bishop to teach students, but as it turned out, it was important to carry the doctrine and the light. Batiushka never offended any of the religions, singling out each equally, emphasizing the differences. As a rule, he devoted the second part of the pair to answering the questions of students, who were specially written down on pieces of paper and left on the teacher’s table, thus the questions became anonymous. And even if some questions were repeated, he, with all his patience, gave explanations. I liked listening to him. He never lectured, never criticized, treated everyone with warm indulgence, like an older brother who loves his little sister very much. Perhaps, in our university, this is the only subject with 100% attendance.

After this couple, everyone hurried to the dining room in order to get enough of cheap coffee and energy drinks with various synthetic additives. Fortunately, the food cost mere pennies. I took a far table, located on the outskirts. I didn’t eat at lunch, preferring to just sit and listen to music. Sometimes I solved my homework, thereby saving evening time.

Sometimes I was visited by strange thoughts that frightened me, because if I turned to a specialist with this, then, most likely, I would be recognized as insane. And I tried never to remember the past. I don’t like to live in memories, because the best thing is to move forward. It doesn’t matter what was, what matters is what is now, at the moment. Does my life have any weight? I don’t know, I didn’t come to any specific conclusion. Adults say that as soon as the question of vacation or sick leave arises, you turn out to be the only and irreplaceable one. But this is a lie. Anyone can be replaced and no matter where: in love, in work, in friendship and family.

I tilted my head back, staring up at the ceiling. I was crazy about smoking. Bad, not good, bad. Yes, that’s just living in general is harmful. Sighing, I came to the conclusion that I would be patient and looked at the clock. The last couple is about to start. Psychology was taught by an elderly man, Bogdan Ereinovich, all the time humorous and citing some unrealistic examples from his own practice, thus trying to involve students in a dialogue. I didn’t like it. Very often he told how it should have been in life, but in practice, it became simply impossible. At the first, and at the second and third, the teacher’s eyes were about fifty. Lonely, still living with his mother, he constantly boasted of his unconfirmed achievements. But God is his judge, if at all Bogdan Ereinovich believed in God, and in fact it is by faith that he is rewarded.

– Everyone get ready for the colloquium next week, we’ll test your motivation to study further. Everybody’s Free.

Today we were released early. Together with the general flow of students, I left the audience. Weaving along a wide corridor, I turned to the stairs and began my “climb up the mountain.” Although there were elevators at the University, they turned out to be very small, old and extremely uncomfortable, and even in poor technical condition. Once again, I tried to walk, especially when time and strength allowed. Yes, and I was afraid to get stuck – I don’t seem to suffer from claustrophobia, but I wouldn’t want to check it.

The room greeted me with pleasant coolness and blissful silence. Closing the creaking door behind her and taking off her shoes, she threw her backpack on the floor and fell on the bed with a swing, having previously set the timer on the phone. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I was a rare gouging, sometimes I lost time. And now, in order not to fall through the whole evening and not be lazy, I kind of meditated. In fact, at such moments, there were absolutely no thoughts in my head. Ringing emptiness and eternally gray Moscow sky in the window. A little more and it will start to get dark, this is exactly what I like – Moscow, like a huge modern Babylon: great and multilingual with forever swarming ants, burns and shimmers, burning and destroying not a single hundred souls. Here, life had weight only when you could at least something to oppose society. Until now, you have been empty space. And according to this attitude, which kills like radiation, the capital could be safely compared with Chernobyl.

My body relaxed, I felt like jelly – limp, as if spreading on the bed. The amazing Vanessa Mae was playing on the headphones and I enjoyed feeling my eyelids close and I was about to fall asleep.

I shuddered sleepily from the beeping timer on my smartphone, which, unfortunately, was far enough away, and therefore protected from my sloppy actions. She grinned, realizing that she still had to get up, but… but not this minute.

Stretching sweetly, she briefly glanced out the window, through which the dim rays of the setting autumn sun were breaking through, illuminating the small cozy room of the hostel. She stretched again and sat up abruptly on the bed. Life in general does not bode well. The trill of the timer is starting to annoy, so I quickly got up, crossed the room and turned off the rather annoying melody on my smartphone.

Hands up, as if reaching out to the sky, which does not hear me, no matter how I call (figuratively speaking) the divine office, and getting up on tiptoes, I squint slightly. She glanced around her small room once more. Opposite the bed was an armchair and an adjoining table with notebooks scattered on it.

The bunk bed seemed secure. They still hoped to hook someone up with me, but so far it remained at the level of conversations. And in such conditions, other students refused to live.

Leaving the room, I reached the end of the corridor and easily climbed up the old stairs to the roof. Finally, freedom. Sitting on the very edge, legs crossed at the ankles, I took out a pack of cigarettes and lit a cigarette. Taking a puff, I slowly exhale, watching how an uneven stream, fluctuating now narrowing, then expanding, rushes into the darkening sky. The city comes alive with lights. I love this time. A huge buzzing anthill, like the All-Seeing Eye, burns, shines. Above me, a star begins to glow, erected on the very spire of the Stalinist era, illuminating my small but free area.

In total, I smoked, probably, the fourth or fifth cigarette, admiring the city. I did not like electronic cigarettes – despite the fact that they had pleasant aromas, I preferred the tart taste of tobacco. The only thing I liked about the capital. Leaning back, she lay down on the roof, but after a little thought, she got up on her elbows, looking around the surroundings with a leisurely look.

– It’s beautiful here.

By God, I almost fell off the roof when I heard an outside voice and turned around sharply. A couple of meters away from me, a guy was sitting fearlessly dangling his legs from the roof. A slightly elongated triangular face, in keeping with Korean ideals of beauty. Pale skin was emphasized by black, which was present in everything: hair color, eyes, and of course clothes. Long impeccably beautiful fingers pushed back the bangs from his forehead, and the guy looked at me with a mocking look. He could decorate any glossy magazine. In my head, the thoughts seemed to have made a somersault finally mixed up.

– Fuck yourself! – I was only able to blurt out, frankly examining this hand-written handsome man.

– I agree, I am also exalted by your invention, – his lips were touched by a sensual smile.

Well, at least with a sense of humor, not bad.

– How long have you been here?

“Not really,” he replied slowly. – The view is amazing from here.

“Yes,” I bit my lip. How did I not hear him? After thinking about it, I decided to clarify:

– Do you often come here?

He made a long pause. Throwing back his head, the guy looked with his dark eyes at the sky, as if he was looking for something specific there. His gaze clearly reflected incomprehensible sadness. Perhaps he was looking for solitude here as well as I, and now the moment is ruined.

“I do,” he said evasively. – Michaelis.

– Taylor.

We didn’t talk anymore. After staying a little longer, I returned to my place. Having had a snack with a sandwich and drinking coffee, she went to bed, feeling incomprehensibly tired.

I almost overslept in the morning. Hastily getting ready, I ran like crazy from all legs around the room, fussing and mentally bickering with myself. I flew into a couple with a bell for a fraction of a second, overtaking Ignat Arkadyevich, a teacher of philosophy. Breathing heavily, I plopped down at the desk. Vosmyachkin weakly waved his hand, greeting, I politely nodded. We sat in the same row, but at different ends of the audience.

– Open notebooks. There is little time, there is a lot of information, – the teacher, thirty years old, stately, pleasant-looking, began a quick dictation. It is already habitual. For such cases, I had a voice recorder in my smartphone, because it was unrealistic to have time to record everything. For some reason, my thoughts returned to yesterday’s strange stranger. Such a handsome man and prefers solitude. Perhaps, nevertheless, the irony of fate. It seemed to me that such people should bathe in glory, attention and universal gratitude. Yes, and there is no end to the girls for sure. Although then everything is logical – he ran away from annoying cute girls.

Nothing interesting in physical education – they swam in the pool, and then dried their hair for a long time – two hair dryers for the whole group – this is of course very little.

Higher mathematics is one of the few truly serious and useful subjects that we were taught here. The only one that I really liked and at the same time a bastard teacher is impossible. More specifically, a teacher. Young ambitious, she considered herself in the right to decide human destinies, deliberately flunking those who she did not like in exams (for objective and no reasons). There were a lot of rumors about her at Moscow State University, and unfortunately, not a single positive one. And Natalya Veniaminovna fully justified the bitchiness. For example, she despised Vosmyachkin only because he came from a small town near Vladivostok, and considered this a completely worthy and natural reason. Teacher of the year, nothing else (and – irony).

The ringing bell sent all the sufferers home.

Having cheerfully counted the steps, I pushed the iron door and went out into the street, which greeted me with freshness and incomprehensible humility, despite the fact that daytime animation reigned all around. People were in a hurry… some were in a couples to universities, some were going to school, some were going to work… others were stuck in traffic jams… But people are always in a hurry. No matter where and no matter where, they will still be late, and therefore accelerate. People exist, but life passes by.

I stuck an earpiece in my ear, and looking down at my feet, I walked in an indefinite direction. She walked slowly forward and soon turned onto a less busy street. Around the old houses, miserable low trees, beaten asphalt… But I tried not to notice it. Thoughts carried me away. I thought about how she, that is, soap, can still change her fate, is it possible and in general what to call fate.

A guy walked towards me, but I didn’t immediately pay attention to him. He was in a hurry. Passing by, he carelessly touched me with his shoulder and, not bothering to apologize, soon disappeared at the end of the street. Well, it happens. I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders, but almost immediately stopped and closed my eyes for a few seconds. Noise… noise from the next street… but it’s quiet here… I always choose this street. People rarely walked here, and therefore this street was especially appreciated.

– Taylor! – I heard from the side.

Slowly opening my brown eyes, I took a deep breath and managed a smile as I saw a nineteen-year-old boy in a camouflage uniform waving his hand invitingly. I had to get closer, though not even bothering to turn off the music or pull both headphones out of my ears. First, the music does not interfere. And secondly, so the conversation will not last long.

– Hi! What are you doing here? – the guy asked straight away.

Continuing to display the cute hyena grin, I shrugged slightly again, trying to look relaxed and at ease.

– Hello, Seryozha. I’m walking. I think go to the bookstore. And what are you doing here? Don’t you have classes?

– The drill was canceled, and so the ensign issued a leave, he needs to buy something. Didn’t expect to see you here. Haven’t you returned home!? The guy looked at me uncertainly, as if he had said something stupid.

Yes, there have been rumors.

Sergei is a good guy. He sought to communicate, was a kind and very bright person. I didn’t want to offend him, so I tried hard not to bastardize. We chatted some more and I hurried away. He’s a good guy, kind.

Perhaps he was not like everyone else. Moderately silly, moderately romantic… We met by chance. That evening, I was returning from the bookstore and, thinking, did not notice him. It was my fault that we collided. The books fell out of my hands, and I remember worrying about scratches on the spines. He excused himself by helping to collect the textbooks and left. I continued on my way, calculating how long it would take to get to the hostel, whether I would be in time for a new series of the cartoon, and whether Vosmyachkin would come with my notes. In less than a minute, the guy caught up with me and offered to meet.

I remember thinking, “Why not? New city, new acquaintances. We met. He seemed to me a rather large, well-built athletic guy, but without prominent muscle tubercles. Although with my lean (sorry, anorexic) figure, any average guy looks impressive. Dark brown hair barely peeked out from under the cap. The brown eyes were kind. We didn’t talk for long then either. He walked me to the hostel, helped me bring my main treasure – books. Sergei was funny. He talked a lot… entertained… Then he asked for a phone number. I don’t know, I usually don’t give such information, but this time for some reason I acted against my own rules. After saying goodbye, we parted, each to his own business, each in his own direction.

Arriving home, I went about my usual business – studying, studying and studying again. And then smoke on the roof, because it’s early to sleep, and before going to bed I read a book.

So today, nothing has changed in my actions. Everything as usual. No variety. I talked with Sergei, went to the store, bought another textbook and returned to the hostel, sitting down for lessons.

Vosmyachkin tumbled in without warning or a declaration of war, wanting to return the notes and also chat. So the evening passed after a peaceful conversation about nothing.

– First chapter-

Perfection Serum

In the angelic world was established by God

strict hierarchy of 9 angelic ranks:

Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Forces, Powers, Principles, Archangels, Angels.

The door creaked disgustingly, and the timid guy went into a small clean hallway. A pleasant aroma of baked goods and artificial flavoring wafted from the kitchen. Quiet conversations were heard.

– Let’s! What do you think? – the girl drawled softly, pushing her classmate deep into the hallway, and added louder. – Ma-a-am, go get acquainted!

Michaelis shifted from foot to foot and suddenly, in a low voice with irony in his voice, he clarified, regaining his former self-confidence:

– Do you have a beautiful mother?

Why Elizabeth raised her eyebrows in surprise and threatened immediate reprisal, but the guy was not afraid, saying that she would not fall.

“I’ll get it, I’ll get it,” the girl wailed.

– But no, – Michael smiled, gently intercepting Elizabeth’s fists. A classmate jumped funny and tried to escape, but did not make any serious efforts for this. Fooled around what to say!

“But I’ll get in,” my mother entered menacingly from the room into the hallway, noting the impudent boy. – Daughter, who is this?

Elizabeth stretched her lips in an open warm smile and held out:

– Do you remember we went to the ballet studio? So, this is Michael.

– Ahhh, the one who constantly scoffed and tried to perform the bottom break? the woman recalled.

“Yes, yes,” Elizabeth laughed.

– Well, e-mine, – the guy lamented picturesquely, horrified at how his impudent and cool image is rolling straight down the mountain, gaining momentum.

– Well, consider familiar from the pot, and now you study together at school?!

– Yeah, in the same class, – Elizabeth nodded and added more quietly. – We sit at the same desk.

– Are you friends? the woman asked.

– Yes.

– No, – Michael answered at the same time, causing the girl to shrink her head in fear. The boy clarified: – We hug, we walk by the hand. Is this really friendship?

Mom appreciated the audacity and built a meme mine said:

– Great, I like it, – and turning around, she went to the kitchen, put the kettle on and set the table for two more people. “Come in, I’ll feed you now.”

Michael helped Elisabeth take off her spring jacket and carefully hung it on her shoulders, straightening her hoodie, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles.

– What are you? the girl asked in a furious whisper.

He just smiled, that same charming smile of his because of which many girls went crazy. After school, Michael often accompanied Elizabeth home, but today she invited him to her place – she was tired of hiding and offered to introduce her to her mother. The father, a long-distance sailor, was again on a voyage, so a meeting was just planned with him.

Today was the perfect occasion – an excellently written control, a “five” in chemistry and no “two” in physics (although there were all chances, but we were lucky and were not asked to the board).

– We have guests, – another figure flashed in the doorway. A boy of Michael’s age, a little thin, like many teenagers, which was compensated by his high growth.

“Hey,” the boy winked at Elizabeth.

Michael turned to the girl, feeling jealousy surge in his soul. The unfamiliar boy behaved frivolously, like an old good friend.

Elizabeth greeted the visitor with warm hugs and was obviously glad to see him. The boy was smiling.

– Am I disturbing you? Michael asked deceptively calmly, feeling his fists clench by themselves. He wanted to take Elizabeth in a rush and hide her from the world.

– Yes, relax, I’m her brother, Artem.

“Ugh, lucky!” – a thought flashed through the head of the jealous man and, recollecting himself, held out his hand for a handshake:

– Michael.

“My friend,” said Elizabeth belatedly. – We have been friends since childhood, from the same yard.

– And I would have stayed… in the yard, – Michaelis jokingly remarked, removing his hand, feeling the sense of possessiveness returned.

– Are you going to stand at the door? I set the table, relatives came to visit, – the woman exclaimed, emotionally clapping her hands.

“I hope that there are no more boys there, otherwise I won’t survive this,” Michaelis thought deadly, with difficulty restraining himself from voicing this thought aloud.

Elizabeth chuckled at her classmate’s change of mood, knowing that Michael had strong feelings for her, jealous of all male “people”. They had known each other for a long time, since kindergarten. At first they played, butted, sometimes they got it. Later, they ended up in school in the same class and both did not notice how they fell in love with each other. And it seems like they did not recognize each other as an official couple, but still they were together. Smiling shyly, Elizabeth looked at Michael, thinking about how lucky she was with him, and with this thought, her cheeks began to blush furiously, betraying her with giblets. Michael was a favorite at school – an excellent student, an intellectual and just a cutie. Perhaps he always made the most positive impression on everyone.

But the smile disappeared from the girl’s face as soon as she saw WHO of the relatives was waiting for them in the kitchen. Elisabeth’s second cousin was never happy. Julia had a bright appearance and bitchy character. She did not hesitate to take everything she wanted from her sister. So she squeezed out Elizabeth and the guys, and cosmetics, and some things, without returning anything and without repenting of her deed. And so she behaved with everyone – she did not put girls in anything and tried to publicly humiliate, fawned over the guys. Everything came to scandals, intrigues and investigations. Elizabeth was the first to break off communication with her sister, deciding that her nerves were more precious than all these unnecessary showdowns.

Michael noticed the change in mood right away.

– What fates? Elizabeth asked through clenched teeth.

– Yulia will change sides with us. She is undergoing internship, has not yet found an apartment. How not to help a relative?! If he finds an apartment, he will move out, – my mother assured and, smiling, poured tea for everyone. – Sit down, sit down, why did everyone get up?

Michael looked at his second cousin with curiosity. There was no question of kinship in appearance. Stylish in fashionable clothes, Julia was strikingly different from the homely and gentle Elizabeth. The second cousin gave the impression of a sort of fatal beauty at minimal wages – she seems to be trying and trying, but partly she looked like a girl from the track. Michael chuckled and looked at his pet. They should have a great future together.

– Chapter 2-

On the edge of life

What is the power of an angel?

Switching off consciousness – angels can place

a person in a state of fainting or sleep,

placing two fingers on the bridge of the nose.

Voice imitation – angels

can mimic a person’s voice

making it very similar.

This ability was used by Anna and Castiel.

Healing – All angels can heal a person from wounds or illnesses.

Sitting comfortably, wearily leaned back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling… thinking about her own, about the girlish. It’s a joke, after studying, I didn’t have anything in my head at all, except for two fundamental questions “Why?” and “What for?”. Overhead, adjoining the wall, eerily hung a bookshelf that threatened to deliver a mortal blow. This will be a “fatalite”, not like in Mortal Kombat. The horizontal position on the bed, oddly enough, is not the best choice; I began to feel sleepy instead of working on the essay on the topic “Prophecies of the Apocalypse and their interpretation in subsequent history.” In general, our teachers say that the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have already come to our world. There is even an old legend about the Original Death, which was the progenitor and harbinger of the apocalypse. This is an interesting theory, but even more interesting are the facts that are presented. Rumor has it that the Rider of Death is hidden in the Lemur Academy, because this place is shrouded in mystery and darkness.

His eyes flickered over the books on the shelf that hung over the bed. The shelf looked flimsy, but there seemed to be an outrageous amount of books.

“This will kill you!” – Vosmyachkin once said when he first came to visit and walking around the room, he watched how he checked his “treasure”. Since childhood, nothing has been more valuable to me than books. I could read for hours without distraction. I usually did this, but then another problem suddenly arose – the body became numb, and I, like some kind of pensioner, tried to gather in a pile with my clumsy paws. And with a shelf, I solved the issue even easier – two pins, as thick as a finger, were nailed (or driven?) Fifteen centimeters into the wall – even electrical tape was not required.

It began to get dark. Leaving the room, she went up to the roof again. Michaelis was there. Without turning around, he said over his shoulder:

– Hi.

– Hi. I won’t interfere?

– I would be glad if you keep me company, – the guy patted next to him, hinting to sit next to him. And what would not?

Shrugging, I plopped down. The coating had become very hot during the day and was now roasting the ass. “Sink fat, sink darling. But there will be no cystitis, “the inner voice mockingly whispered.

– Do you smoke? I asked out of courtesy.

– No, – in his voice, as yesterday, universal sadness was heard. Apparently, life was not sickly, the dude was too zadolbalsya, I even wanted to sympathize.

– You knew… people die from smoking, – my interlocutor remarked.

– Yes, okay, there are no immortals, – I shrugged.

Well, then my “smoke” will have to be postponed. Didn’t want to disturb him. I know that many people are sensitive to those who “tar nearby”, complaining about passive smoking and an unpleasant smell. I respect people’s personal boundaries.

– How was your day? I asked, wrapping my arms around my knees. I wanted to talk a little. Simple and nothing.

– Light.

His answer surprised and brought a smile. Light, which is strange. And this is at a time when thunderclouds are gathering over the capital. Some “graters” at the Lemur Academy stirred up the entire “magical” community and, in connection with this, any bad weather and cataclysms were attributed to them, worse than Mercury retrograde.

– How was your day? How is study? he asked politely.

“Fine,” I shrugged.

– Do you like studying here?

– I don’t know, I’m not sure.

– Why?

I thought. For some reason, it was light and light in my soul, as if a small personal sun had lit up in my chest, warming it from the inside.

“Because I haven’t decided on my life,” I replied with a smile. “Sounds stupid,” I chuckled, lowering my head slightly. Smoking… I really want to drag on, feel how the smoke settles in my lungs.

– No, – he continued to peer thoughtfully into the distance. – At least be honest.

I pulled the hood over my head and shoved my hands into my pockets, shivering in the chill. However, it got colder in the evening.

We sat for another thirty minutes in complete silence, and I said goodbye and left the roof.

In the room, the first thing I did was put the kettle on and made myself some instant coffee. It seems not tasty, but the habit of drinking has remained since school time.

Warmed up, I quickly took a shower, changed into my pajamas, and lay down, getting ready for bed.

But a variety of and very inappropriate thoughts climbed into my head. She smiled involuntarily, remembering how a school friend taught me to walk in a miniskirt and high heels. At that time, I could only clatter with the gait of a lame, crooked-legged grasshopper, that is, with my knees forward. Then a friend taught me how to paint.

And here we are so cool and fashionable went for a walk. Many approached with the aim of getting acquainted, at least it seemed to me so. For some reason, phrases such as: “Girls, doesn’t your mother need a son-in-law?” were infuriating. “My mother needs a heavy machine gun or a bigger broom to drive some away,” I usually answered coldly and that was it, the “renters” left. A friend held a master class, explaining and showing how to flirt and flirt beautifully. This is probably why she got married after school, and I went to the capital. The spoon left in the cup with which I always drank tea or coffee did not increase my chances of marriage either; and the habit of sitting on the corner of the table (yeah, right on top). Superstitious in the subject, the rest – do not fill your head with nonsense.

I didn’t like pretending to be someone I’m not. Maybe that’s why I didn’t have any friends. There was a time when I tried to fall under stereotypes, not to stand out from the crowd, to become a gray mass. Something didn’t work out. And maybe it’s for the best.

I woke up abruptly, as if doused with cold water. Remembering that she was going to go to the store for bread, she quickly pulled on jeans, a jacket with a windbreaker and hurried to leave the huge anthill of the hostel. For a walk, I chose a distant grocery store located a couple of blocks away and bought bread, slowly returning back.

It was warm outside, but the rare slush from the reagents that were sprinkled on the ice did not allow us to fully enjoy the walk. Nodding in time to the music, she could hardly keep herself from singing along. Headphones slipped, I had to correct them. But I slowly walked along the sidewalk.

There were many people, but they were all united by one thing – an absent stupid look. As if these people have already burned their lives long ago and now continue to exist. Sometimes live sparkling eyes came across, and then my gaze was already riveted to this person.

I was so carried away by my observations that I did not look around when I was crossing the road and… I captured the whistle of tires on dry pavement only at the very edge of my consciousness. I turned around, feeling the earpiece pop out of my ear at the same time. I felt as if someone had pulled my windbreaker from behind. I took a step back, stumbled over the curb and fell, hitting my ass painfully.

– Stupid! – shouted the driver, flying a few centimeters away from me and carried away into a happy unknown.

I looked back. There was no one around. Maybe a flair? Or did it seem? I looked at myself in surprise, thanking the guiding star for miraculously not being hurt. The ass, although it was repulsed, reminded me that I was alive, healthy and almost unharmed. Whatever it is, I’m lucky.

With this strange feeling, I walked about six meters, when suddenly!

– Hi! A heavy hand landed on my shoulder.

Startled in surprise. I elbowed back and hit.

“This is how you greet your friends,” Vosmyachkin remarked reproachfully, rubbing his bruised side. It cannot be said that the blow came out strong, but still sensitive.

“You know that you can’t approach me like that from the back,” I noticed with a reproach and a slight hint of irritation, pulling the second earpiece out of my ear and, exhaling, spoke more calmly. – Hi. What fates?

– Went for pasta.

I suddenly noted to myself that I was mentally addressing the guy by his last name, forgetting about his name. And his name was Dima. But for some reason, in my perception, the name was lost and only carefree and cheerful remained – Vosmyachkin.

– Listen, when I checked the tasks, I noticed that you did not fully understand the topic of differential equations. If you want, we can work out together.

He blushed.

“Let’s not today,” I answered softly, hoping that next time it would be even easier to dodge. I have more plans for today.

Despite the fact that I wanted to be alone, Dima volunteered to take me to the hostel, telling me, as if giving a lecture, examples of solving problems and theorems. Perhaps this is how he tried to show me his knowledge, or maybe he was so inept in a square dance. It is hard to say. My thoughts were still returning to my miraculous salvation, for which there seemed to be logical explanations, but there seemed to be no.

Saying goodbye to Vosmyachkin on the threshold and citing poor health, I closed the door right in front of his nose. After thinking, she grabbed her textbook and headed to the roof. The subject was called Applied Psychology of Magic. A very strange item. Each paragraph seemed like a hodgepodge of elementary psychology, philosophy, and beautiful quotes from various famous people. What was written here was in no way confirmed in words. It was both strange and curious and stupid at the same time. I smoked my second cigarette, almost furiously reading the textbook, delving into the subject and realizing that in the future there could be serious problems with passing the exam.

– Hi.

I turned around. Michaelis was standing behind me. Hastily, I stubbed out the smoldering cigarette into the small ashtray I used to carry around so as not to scatter cigarette butts everywhere.

– Hello, – for some reason it became light and light again. All fears and doubts receded. Even though it seemed strange, it didn’t bother me.

– How are you? He stepped closer and sat next to her, crossing his legs at the ankles. Michaelis was not afraid to sit on the very edge. It was as if he didn’t know the feeling of fear at all.

I sighed. For some reason, I wanted to share my experiences and thoughts, but it’s stupid to dump everything on a person you hardly know. He was sitting very close and I could smell the incredible scent from his hair. Something subtly familiar and so dear, as if from childhood, warm and cozy.

“You can share your feelings with me,” he said calmly and seemed to trigger some kind of lever in me.

“I almost got hit by a car today, due to my own inattention,” I began. – A moment before the collision, I felt like someone was pulling me out from under the wheels. Such a strange feeling. But no one was around. And that’s how it might seem. Yes, but I clearly felt how my jacket was pulled, – I rolled my eyes. “We’re kind of taught magic here,” I nodded at the textbook. – And it feels like I’ll either get schizophrenic or… I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking this?

– So it’s important to you, Elizabeth.

I didn’t show how everything inside me turned to stone at the mention of my real name. Michaelis did not seem to pay attention to this, continuing his thought.

“Perhaps you were not destined to die that day. The world is more complicated and simpler than any of us can imagine. What is an incredible set of circumstances for one person may be just a job for someone else.

Michaelis shook his head from side to side.

“You should rest,” he finished softly. I agreed. Almost leaving the roof, I turned around and could have sworn that I saw subtle wings behind Michaelis. Six wings.

– Second chapter-

At the very least

Angels are not indifferent executors of the will of God;

they “rejoice over every penitent sinner”

OK. 15:10, that is, they are sincerely interested that the will of God be carried out;

Angelic beings live in our time

(they cannot look into the future or travel from here to the past)

and limited by our space.

– Mom, pour me some tea, please, – Michael smiled charmingly. The woman, not hiding her disposition, began to hastily pour tea into mugs, but noticing the sadness in the guy’s eyes, she sympathetically asked:

– Have a fight?!

– I went too far… I’m constantly jealous, I can’t help myself, – he admitted. – I know it’s my fault. Got pissed off by accident.

Nodding, he took a sip of his cup of tea.

“Well, don’t touch her yet, it will cool down, later and make peace,” the woman smiled sympathetically. She, like many, liked Michael and she appreciated the directness in his words and actions. Knowing also the parents of a teenager, the woman created a positive image.

He shook his head and asked:

– What kind of tea? I’m too calm.

– It’s melissa with chamomile. Chamomile is soothing. I dry it on purpose. The only thing that helps me calmly fill out accounting reports and go to parent-teacher meetings.

– I left, I’ll take a walk with my girlfriends, – Elizabeth muttered angrily, deliberately ignoring Michael.

“Don’t forget the scarf, you’ll catch a cold,” the guy reminded him carefully, looking at the girl with loving eyes and knowing that just a little bit the girl catches a cold and gets sick.

“I’ll figure it out without you,” she snapped.

“Yes,” Mom slammed her hand on the table. – She wrapped herself in a scarf to the very tonsils. And you let’s gnaw chamomile.

With a displeased snort, Elizabeth still wound the charm over the collar of her jacket.

– And call when you get home, – the guy looked at his watch, realizing that the anger at him had not yet gone. It was time for him to get ready, in the evening he needed to help his mother around the house and solve more problems, preparing for the future exam.

Elizabeth ignored him and ran away. Emotionally slapping his open palm with his fist, Michael noticed that the chamomile still works. It was only at home that he found a package with herbs and instructions for use in his backpack – his mother Elizabeth carefully wrapped daisies for him. She also called him, saying that her daughter had come home and was visiting Svetka. Sincerely thanking, the guy calmly started preparing for the exams. Matters of the heart are important, but it was not worth abandoning your studies either.

– Chapter 3-

Monday kids

Seraphim surround the throne of the Lord,

protect it, praise the Lord with their songs.

The main duty of the Cherubim is to guide people to the faith.

Cherubim stand at the gates of paradise. They have more than one

and immediately four faces looking in four directions:

human, eagle, bull and lion

The couple seemed to drag on longer than usual. Perhaps due to the fact that I spent the weekend reading the ill-fated textbook, I was bored at the lecture today. Until now, it all seemed like nonsense. Starting with wings. I was afraid to ask myself the main question, realizing that this could be the beginning of my mental disorders (or their continuation). I even started taking motherwort, hoping that it would help, but realizing that I saw what I saw. And I didn’t want to go into deep thought.

Batiushka talked about the peculiarities of religions, about faith. Lots of stuff. I listened with curiosity and some sadness. All this is surreal… I like to believe in what could be seen, touched, made an evil “bite” in the end. But… what will change? I still didn’t know all my classmates. Faces flashed and seemed to merge into one incomprehensible spot. I also sat alone. No one tried to establish communication with me, just as I did not pester anyone with questions. Only Vosmyachkin stubbornly offered his help in studying one or another subject. He often took notes from me and always found something to complain about. It seemed to be his way of starting a dialogue with me. I tried to treat such a manifestation of attention in my direction calmly and even condescendingly, because the rest of the stream stubbornly ignored Dimka, showing his disdain.

I shook my head.

The next day was no better or worse than the previous one. But it seemed to me that I would never get used to this vain capital. She made me sad and misunderstood. Michaelis still spent evenings with me on the roof. She didn’t understand why he was so upset. Basically, he preferred to silently look into the distance. Sometimes he started talking. And I was not clear. An ordinary guy, he was looking for himself in seclusion. I never saw him at the university. He never spoke about his studies. Wings, however, no longer seemed to be.

And I enjoyed spending time with him. Again and again. He did not like to talk about himself, diverting the dialogue to the side. I didn’t insist.

I don’t know what I was looking for in Michaelis, but for some reason I felt comfortable with him.

Sometimes I went to the pool, relaxed and just loved to think… about the eternal. Rarely has anyone been here. I liked being able to swim alone. Once I accidentally turned off the light. But it was great. Light poured into small windows under the very ceiling, bizarrely reflected from the tiles, it found its place in a silvery glow in the water surface, rustling and shimmering with sparks. An amazing sight.

The next evening, having splashed enough, I went to the shower room, and from there to the locker room. She glanced at herself in the mirror. Short, skinny. Perhaps too thin, looks sickly and even anorexic. Medium length hair. Well, although the shade is closer to ashen than to gold, the truth is that this does not save me from hackneyed jokes about the mental abilities of blondes, sadly.

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