Nikolay Lakutin
A lifetime ago. Comedy Drama

A comedy drama in two acts

The characters

Denis

Xiang

Nikolay

Daria

Elizabeth (Lisa)

Fedor

Anastasia

Yasha

Katya

Sergei

Demyan

Action 1

Scene 1

Denis. Mom, Dad, bab! Drop all your business, please pay attention for a moment!

Xiang. Hello.

Denis. This is Xiang, please meet me. She's Chinese. She came to us to share her experience, works at our company. He speaks a little Russian. I haven't told you about her before, I wanted to surprise you. We've been dating for a long time, we love each other and decided to get married!

Nikolai. A....

Daria. Hmm…

Xiang. Autumn is pleasant to meet.

Elizabeth. This is for you for not being baptized!

Daria. Mom, don't push it! I… um… yes… it is… Pum-Pum-Pum… Pshh… yeah… Unexpected!

Nikolay. Well, welcome! Just in time for lunch. Set the table, Dasha! Denis, come on, come with Xiang, have a seat. Let's eat, talk, figure out who's who.

Half a century before that…

Scene 2

Fedor. Lizka? Liza, where are you? Oh, I'll find it, I'll kick my ass. Why are the dishes still not washed? What did I tell you to do?

Anastasia. Fyodor, why are you making such a fuss about her?

Fedor. Yes, what is it? Look out there! The dishes in the sink were still there. Liza! Come on, I say!

Liza. Why do I always have to wash? I washed it last time, now let Yasha wash it, or Katka.

Anastasia. Katya has been weeding since the morning, Yasha has brought water to the bathhouse, and picked herbs for the chickens. It's all about business, you're the only one doing nothing.

Fedor. You don't seem to understand much else, daughter. The fact that brother and sister are in business is one thing. There is another point that is more important. My parents said that's it! The law! That's how it should be! Do not dare to argue and bicker. The mother? Where is the belt, it would be necessary to flog the girl for the benefit of the common cause.

Anastasia. Okay, Fed, don't get mad. A girl, after all, and a little one too. She already understood everything. Isn't that right, Lisa? Do you understand?

Liza. Yes, I understand, I understand. I'll wash it now.

Fedor. You babysit them, Nastyusha, you love them painfully, but you regret it. And yet there is folk wisdom! And it says this: If you don't punish your children, you will be punished yourself! From! Not fools have preserved such a legend for centuries.

Anastasia. Who's arguing, Fedya. It is necessary to punish, it is necessary, but not every time with a belt to banter. Besides, your hand is heavy. As soon as you take a bite, my heart squeezes. At least feel sorry for me.

Fedor. What are you saying? Do you think I don't like them? Do you think I'm just taking my anger out? I love you, I love you so much! And I will turn anyone's head for them, regardless of whether they are right or not. But there are immutable, primordial positions! Children should know about the inevitable punishment, otherwise they will get rid of it, then it will be too late.

Anastasia. But am I saying that you don't love me? Of course you do, see how they reach out to you. Sometimes I'm surprised. You don't talk to them, and it's like they even respect you more than they respect me. At least I'm for them… Oh, that's right…

Fedor. It always happens that way. If you start to bend, they won't put you in anything at all. How did my father raise me? Almost like that, the rods were used. And he didn't whip ours as much as I did. He was broader in the shoulders, had a bigger swing and applied himself thoroughly. In this sense, he was not modest. So I always knew that if I got it, then it's for the cause! My father was rude, but fair. And all six of us children respected him, and the neighbors all respected him. And when they were buried, there were so many kind words spoken. Yes, you've heard it yourself.

Anastasia. I heard it. They really loved him. Appreciated.

Fedor. That's it!

Anastasia. Yes… yes…

Fedor. Well, what about the dishes, Liza? Did you wash it?

Liza. I washed it! The water is painfully cold. I would have washed it earlier, just waiting for it to warm up a little.

Anastasia. But why do you look at your brother and sister at once? I would have said so right away. And that's why I started it…

Fedor. And the fact that the water is cold is nothing. It is necessary to harden the body. How did women always wash things in the river? That's where my hands are freezing. And those that live by mountain rivers? Almost ice floes sometimes float nearby. Nothing, they're rubbing rag on rag, where to go. There is a word to be said. You are this word in all its essence, daughter, write it down and refer to it more often! Do you understand?

Lisa. Got it, Dad. I will try.

Fedor. That's it. Order. Are we going to have lunch today or what?

Anastasia. I'll put it on the table now. Call the children.

Fedor. Yasha! Katya? Let's go inside! It's time for lunch!

Liza. EAT!

Yasha. I'm here.

Fedor. Come on, son, wash up, sit down at the table, we'll have lunch.

Yasha. I'm not hungry.

Anastasia. Why aren't you hungry? Have you picked up any vegetables in the garden?

Katya. I picked it up. On someone else's, and. While I was weeding, I saw him and Mitka jumping over the fence to Baba Nadia

. Yasha. Wow, Katka! Well, wait at my place. I'll tell you about you too.

Katya. And there's nothing to tell about me, my conscience is clear!

Yasha. Is she clean?

Katya. Clean!

Yasha. And who taught me how to smoke cigarettes?

Katya. Oh, you!

Fedor. Well, Nasyun, and you say that I am strict with them. That's how things are, while the folder is at work, they're getting discouraged. All right, people, after lunch, we get in line and we're going to have fun! We will carry out explanatory work. The folder will give instructions, but teach the mind to the mind.

Katya. Ahhh!!

Yasha. Ahhh!

Liza. Hee-hee…

Fedor. Lisa, don't be too happy. Do you think she's the youngest, so you'll get some indulgences? I'm not going to beat you up yet, but after dinner you'll wash the dishes again! In cold water and without any talking!

Liza. Ahhh!

Fedor. And the water tank in the yard has already bloomed. He also needs to be washed properly. You too.

Liza. Ahhh!

Katya. Hi-hi…

Yasha. Hi-hi…

Fedor. Yasha, did you drain the water from the tank? I told you this morning.

Yasha. Leaked it.

Fedor. That's good. And now everyone is at the table. We'll have lunch. Well, what about lunch? How much longer?

Anastasia. Yes, I'm carrying it.

Fedor. What do we have there? Cabbage today? I see.

Yasha. Dad? I don't want to eat.

Fedor. Do I want to? I can't look at this cabbage anymore. Mother will cook it, so at least hang an axe. And both in the house and in the bathroom in the yard.

Anastasia. Cabbage has a peculiar smell, but it is useful, you need to eat. Yes, it smells, so what now? Do you want to eat one potato every day?

Fedor. Okay, son. Give me some bread. Katya, bring the fat to the folder, and choose a piece with streaks there. And you, Lisa, don't cry, your mother will help with the dishes, tea is not a stranger to her. Will you help me, zhinka?

Anastasia. I'll help you. And I hid the lard. Katya won't find him. Everyone has cabbage and don't turn their noses up, or I'll cook it tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Look, they're going to start a riot for me here on the ship. Everyone calmed down, calmed down and ate in silence!

Yasha. Mom?

Anastasia. Eat, she said! Otherwise, I'll give you more from myself after lunch for the neighbor's garden, and for the twos at school. And what about the cigarettes? Katya? Lisa, are you in this gang too?

Liza. Mom, what are you doing?

Anastasia. Okay, we'll figure it out later. So. Sat down? Like that. Bon appetit, everyone.

Scene 3

Anastasia. Oh, Lisa? Why are you so early today?

Liza. Mom, I had two couples canceled, the teacher got sick.

Anastasia. Why are you so funny? Are you glowing already?

Liza. Are you home alone?

Anastasia. Alone, why?

Lisa. Uh… Then sit down and I'll tell you.

Anastasia. Oh, my God, what happened?

Liza. Mom, don't worry, nothing like that, but take the stool anyway.

Anastasia. Lisa, you're scaring me! And I beg you, get that phrase out of your head.: "Just don't worry!" Because as soon as I hear it, I immediately start to worry a lot more.

Liza. A stool!

Anastasia. Yes, I took it. Here. Sat down! Are you happy?

Lisa. Yeah.

Anastasia. Well?

Lisa. Seryozhka confessed his love to me!

Anastasia. What are you doing?

Liza. mmmmm!

Anastasia. Let me hug you.

Liza. Really, Mom. You know, he was so careful, so shy. But in the end, he still said these three cherished words.

Anastasia. Between you and me, he had those three words written on his forehead about you a couple of years ago. Ever since he moved here, I saw everything in his eyes back then.

Liza. Here! And he also told me that he has loved me ever since. Can you imagine?

Anastasia. I can imagine. Well, what about you?

Liza. And what about me?

Anastasia. Well… what?

Liza. Well, I… don't know. I'm pleased.

Anastasia. It is clear to a fool that it is pleasant. I'm asking how you feel about him. Do you feel anything for him?

Lisa. Well… He's good.

Anastasia. Everything is clear.

Liza. What's clear, Mom?

Anastasia. It's clear that you don't love him, and you never have.

Liza. And how did you draw conclusions so quickly, I wonder? I don't know yet, but she already knows!

Anastasia. And I'm a mother! I know better.

Liza. And what do you know best?

Anastasia. Listen, daughter. This Earring, he's a really good guy.

Liza. He's good!

Anastasia. A good one, yes. Sweet, well-mannered. I'll tell you honestly that I like such a son-in-law, but you won't be happy with him.

Liza. Why is that?

Anastasia. Because your heart didn't flare up with an answer, that's all the wisdom.

Liza. But you just said yourself that I'm cheerful, that I'm glowing all over!

Anastasia. You're glowing because they've confessed their love to you. Not in the way they confessed to each other in childhood, but now in an adult way. With serious far-reaching intentions. You feel it, appreciate it, that's why you're all glowing, shining.

Liza. I don't understand your logic. And how should it be? What's wrong?

Anastasia. Lisa, I understand that you will be angry with me at first, but still listen, Mother. No matter how many times this Earring has been hitting the thresholds around our house, you have never looked at it seriously. I'm even surprised that he took so long to confess, it would have been time to confess long ago. But he didn't touch you inwardly. Do you think I haven't been watching you? She became an adult, so her mother let her go free swimming? How so… I'm keeping an eye on it.

Liza. And what do you recommend to me? Refuse him?

Anastasia. I have no right to interfere and decide anything for you. If you just want to have fun without consequences… You know what I mean, right?

Liza. I understand, it's not small.

Anastasia. Then please! Meet, walk, gain experience. Who knows, maybe it will be tolerated – it will be loved.

Lisa. Mom… I don't want to do that.

Anastasia. That's it. Who wants to. I would understand if you were in your late forties. When the deadline is running out, and there is no choice. Then yes, where to go. Jump into the last carriage of the departing train and be grateful to fate for giving at least something from your lordly shoulder.

Liza. That is, you suggest not to rush!

Anastasia. Exactly! Watch it! Take a closer look at him, listen to your feelings… You'll see – everything will fall into place and you won't need anyone's advice, including mine. You will know everything internally and yourself very accurately.

Liza. Let's hug one more time, Mom. I do not know what I would do without you. I love you very much!

Anastasia. And I love you, daughter. Very.

Yasha. Hello everyone It's good to cuddle, I'm not alone. Here, I want to introduce my friend, Demyan!

Demyan. Hello, everyone.

Anastasia. Hello.

Yasha. We study in the same group. We got lost on the way and decided to come in.

Anastasia. You did the right thing. You must be hungry. Let me feed you.

Demyan. No, I am… Thank you, no need.

Yasha. Come on, Demyan, don't be shy. Everyone here is their own. My mother. This is Lisa's sister. There is another sister, Katka, but she is now in another city. She left on assignment, I told you about her.

Demyan. Understood.

Yasha. Lisa, why are you home so early? Don't you usually come back later?

Liza. And I have two pairs canceled. The teacher is ill.

Yasha. Ah.. it's clear. Are you courting a guest?

Demyan. Yes I… Yes, what…

Liza. With pleasure…

Demyan. Yes… well…

Yasha. It's okay, Demyan. We'll have a quick snack now, then I'll walk you out, we'll chat some more.

Demyan. Okay

, Yasha. Lisa! Are you dropping ladles there?

Liza. I accidentally dropped it.

Yasha. Yeah… It's clear. You're looking at Demyan because you're squinting, not looking into a saucepan.

Liza. Fool!

Anastasia. Yasha, stop it! Why are you embarrassing the girl?

Yasha. What am I? I'm all right.

Anastasia. There's nothing to do here. And as you eat, chop the meat, otherwise I don't have enough strength, it hurts to get a thick bone. My father will come home from work in the evening, I want to please him with a new dish. After all, we have a date today. Twenty-five years hand in hand!

Demyan. Oh, congratulations to you!

Yasha. Exactly! I forgot.

Liza. But I remember!

Anastasia. Lizonka, but you really are busy in the kitchen for a long time. Are you getting baptized? What are you whispering about? I found the time. Feed the guys, men don't like to wait long!

Yasha. That's for sure!

Liza. Yes, I'm already carrying it, I'm carrying it…

Scene 4

Demyan. Happy holidays!

Liza. Demyan? Hi, I didn't expect to see you here.

Demyan. My mother asked me to take some things to a friend, and my friend, it turns out, lives a few houses away from you.

Liza. Who is this?

Demyan. Anna Viktorovna Subbotina.

Liza. Ah, Aunt Nyura. Of course, I know. So she's your mom's friend?

Demyan. Yeah.

Liza. Clear. And you congratulated me on the holiday when we met. What kind of holiday is it today? I'm not aware, I'm sorry.

Demyan. So today is this…

Lisa. M?

Demyan. The devil knows. We need to look at the calendar, what day it is. There must be something. We have some kind of holiday every day, or even two.

Liza. Yeah! So you don't know what kind of holiday it is today, or if there is one at all?

Demyan. Well… Frankly– yes.

Liza. And then what did he shout – congratulations?

Demyan. I just really wanted to talk to you. Come over, get to know each other better.

Liza. He's smart…

Demyan. No, I'm actually guileless. Even more straightforward. I'm talking straight to you. I know it's not the way to do it, but I don't know how to go roundabout. If I liked the girl, then I'm without hints, signs… I'm not a romantic, in a word. But, which one is already there.

Lisa. … And what? Did you like the girl?

Demyan. I liked it.

Liza. How much?

Demyan. Yes, so, you know… it's okay!

Liza. And tell me about her?

Demyan. And I don't know much about her myself. I know she's my friend's sister. Which is very beautiful. Charming and charming. At first glance, it catches and attracts.

Liza. Oh, and you said that you're not a romantic, that you don't know how to go roundabout. You can do everything! You can do anything! But he didn't say it head-on.

Demyan. Should I?

Liza. And why not? What are you risking?

Demyan. It's just that suddenly this girl didn't like me.

Liza. What if you liked it?

Demyan. Hmm… So that's a completely different matter then. So, I say it head-on, Lisa, you're my…

Sergei. Hi, Liz! It's good to see you. Good afternoon, Sergey, let's get to know each other.

Demyan. I'm Demyan, we will!

Sergei. I haven't seen you for a long time, girlfriend. Is everything okay, are you sick?

Liza. Seryozha, everything is fine, don't worry. I was busy.

Sergey. A. And I'm from you. I came to check on you, Aunt Nastya said that you went to the store.

Liza. Yes, that's right. I haven't reached it yet, so I met a friend.

Sergei. Understood. Then maybe we can go together? I need to go to the store too. The bread at home has dried up completely, damn it, only if you soak it. So it's better to take a fresh one, and feed this one to the dogs. That's right, I'm saying. Demyan?

Demyan. Perhaps.

Sergei. Shall we go? On the way, right?

Demyan. No, I'm sorry, I'm going the other way.

Sergey. A. Well, then I'll see you. Come on!

Demyan. Happily.

Liza. While.

Demyan. Goodbye. Liza.

Sergei. Lisa, listen, I wanted to talk to you. It just turned out to be a mess that time. And I didn't really understand what you were saying about that conversation we had…

Scene 5

Anastasia. Daughter, cook sausages, it doesn't seem like lunch yet, but I want to eat. We had breakfast early today.

Liza. Yes, Mom, it's okay. I wouldn't mind it myself. How old are you?

Anastasia. Three things, that's enough.

Yasha. So, what's the fuss here? Did you use the sausages?

Liza. They let me in.

Yasha. Great, Liza, throw a couple at me.

Liza. Easily.

Yasha. Ah! What? Are you crazy?

Anastasia. Yasha, did you make a noise?

Yasha. Lizka threw sausages on my head!

Liza. I asked for it myself.

Yasha. Are you turning on a fool? Is this the first time you've heard the expression? For my share, throw two pieces in a saucepan!

Liza. I would have said so right away.

Yasha. That's what I said!

Anastasia. Children, don't quarrel!

Yasha. And we don't quarrel. It's just that my sister has become too playful. Too playful moods began to prevail.

Liza. What do you mean?

Yasha. That's what I have! Seryozha's out, he's looked through all the windows, and now my friend has started coming to visit me, just to see Lisa. And Lisa is playing with them, juggling! I tried out the power of female charm over helpless male feelings.

Liza. It's not true! I'm not juggling with anyone!

Yasha. Yeah. They stick to you.

Liza. Yes, by yourself!

Yasha. They don't stick to Katyusha. She always comes to visit alone. I haven't found anyone for myself, but she'll be six years older, and mind you, she's not scarier than you!

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