Lessons Enlightenment
Elena Sidelnikova

© Elena Sidelnikova, 2025

ISBN 978-5-0065-2774-4

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

PREFACE

To be honest, meditation just doesn’t work for me. I’ve read plenty of literature on the subject, exploring how it works for others and the methods required to still the mind and achieve a deep meditative state. I’ve tried many of these techniques, but all in vain. My thoughts race, and my body won’t relax. Stories about how easy meditation is for others don’t offer much comfort. I thought, «Maybe I feel that channeling is easy, but not everyone can do that either. There must be some nuances.»

So, I decided to turn to someone who must know all there is about meditation – Buddha. Before communicating with him, I had an image of Buddha shaped by esoteric literature. I imagined him as an essence that remains indifferent and unaffected, having found the path of balance, detachment, and non-action. He resides on higher planes, seemingly uninterested in the fate of humanity, including my own. Still, I decided to give it a try.

What came of it is before you. I’ll say right away that Buddha amazed me. I did not expect to hear or feel this kind of Buddha. Of course, it’s evident that he is a profoundly wise consciousness. But what surprised me was the amount of love, care, and even tenderness present! He skillfully guided my mind away from numerous questions into a state of emptiness that filled me with awe. Every conversation was a revelation for me. Usually, I have a well-practiced method for writing channelings. I always have a list of questions prepared in advance, either sent by others or arising in my mind. Then, during the channeling, other questions quickly come to mind without much thought. Typically, I’d take 5—6 questions submitted by others, write responses to all of them, and add my own. But this time, things were different.

I would ask one question from my prepared list, and then my consciousness would delve so deeply into that question that asking further questions would make no sense within that topic. Each channeling ended up being an answer to almost just one question, with Buddha speaking at length, in detail, and extensively about it. Moreover, at a certain point in the channeling, my consciousness would pause without words or questions and simply remain in a balanced, immersed state, which made me exit the channeling.

In our channeling seminars, we teach that if there is no question, there is no answer because channeling itself is an energetic process in which the question – essentially a beam of consciousness – is reflected off the consciousness of the entity we send it to and returns to us as an answer. If we do not send out a question-beam, we don’t receive an answer-reflection. In our seminars, there were very few people who couldn’t open their channeling abilities because they would fall into a zone of thoughtlessness and lack of questions when they entered altered states of consciousness, and naturally, they wouldn’t receive any answers. With Buddha, it was different. He led my consciousness toward understanding truths so skillfully that, after some time, I relaxed and, with anticipation of new discoveries and things to marvel at, allowed my consciousness to be led into this ocean of silence and wisdom where he resides.

What surprised me most was how much sensitivity, patience, care, and tenderness he showed toward my questions, which must have seemed childish and naive to him. It was like conversing with a wise teacher whom I had never encountered in my life. He navigated all the peculiarities of my consciousness so effortlessly and gently that I felt no negative emotions, resistance, or sense of inadequacy. This fostered a sense of unconditional trust in him as a teacher. At one point, I said to him, «I think you are my teacher; I’ve finally found my teacher!» To which he replied, «Do not limit yourself or me. The whole world is your teacher.»

Interestingly, we never actually got to meditation. Buddha started talking more about the perception of the world than about meditation itself. He said that it is our incomplete perception of the world that hinders us from immersing ourselves in meditation, and that diving into meditation is akin to death and enlightenment. He introduced my consciousness to the paradoxical nature of perception, which helped me delve deeper into the depths of my consciousness. And thus, this book, «Lessons of Enlightenment,» was born.

I fully understand that there are deeper texts and experiences from the greatest practitioners of enlightenment and immersion into the ocean of silence. However, perhaps this book will help you in some way. The consciousness of a Western person differs from that of Eastern mystics, and so do the paths. Why do you think there are so few examples of enlightened consciousness in Western civilization? Because our consciousnesses are fundamentally different. Lucifer once explained this to me, saying that the four races of humanity – white, black, red, and yellow – differ in their ways of understanding the Divine, and each follows its own path. The black race understands God through sensuality, as expressed in phrases like «African passions.» The red race perceives God through intuition and connection with nature, which is why the mind is of little importance to them, and they have many shamans among them. The yellow race, which includes Tibet, India, and the Himalayas, understands God by turning inward, through self-contemplation. Thus, these nations have many yogis and mystics who achieve enlightenment through meditation. The white race understands God through the mind, which shapes its development. Do you think understanding God through the mind is impossible? Why not? As Lucifer taught me, nothing is impossible – everything exists.

So perhaps my path of understanding the Divine and seeking the ocean of silence through the mind will be of help to you as well, and you will also be captivated by the subtle and gentle guidance of Buddha from concrete thinking to paradoxical perception. Paradoxical perception is rarely described in our culture. In fact, it is only truly found in one great series of books – Lewis Carroll’s «Alice in Wonderland» and «Through the Looking-Glass.» We consider these books for children, but they contain many codes that even adults don’t always grasp. However, children can more easily perceive the paradoxical nature of the world before they grow up and close themselves off from the wonders and magic of the world, from its unpredictability, non-linearity, and fluidity. Our adult perception is cluttered with constructs and concepts we cannot abandon because we are, in fact, afraid of finding ourselves in a paradoxical and unpredictable world. As Buddha told me, we fear death, which is enlightenment, and thus we fear enlightenment itself. Meanwhile, Eastern mystics do not fear death; they are taught its naturalness from childhood and know that death is merely a transformation of consciousness.

When we were discussing this, Buddha asked me, «Do you like diving?» The question surprised me. I really don’t like diving. He asked, «Why?» I replied that I don’t want to get my hair wet because then I’d have to redo my hairstyle. He told me that to become enlightened, you need to dive without fearing losing your hairstyle. I hadn’t realized how connected it all was before. Dive fearlessly into silence, ready to lose everything. Lose it all to gain EVERYTHING. This concept appears in many Eastern teachings and is precisely the main obstacle that prevents many of us from becoming enlightened – the fear of losing ourselves. Buddha told me about his own death. According to legend, he died after drinking a cup of poison in the house of his disciple or eating poisoned soup. I was always perplexed by this – how could such an enlightened consciousness not know there was poison in the cup? He could have refused it, poured it out, or even drunk it and dissolved the poison within himself so it wouldn’t harm him. But that didn’t happen. Why? He answered me in a way that turned my understanding upside down. What he said, you will discover for yourself by reading the book. And not just that. I hope you will discover a new Buddha, unlike the image commonly held – a gentle and caring Buddha, full of love.

I think this book is still unfinished. Of course, I still have many unanswered questions. Moreover, conversing with him is such a joy and delight as I relish the subtlety of the dialogue and the internal processes that unfold within me. However, I was eager to share the beginning of these conversations with you. Perhaps, if I do reach the end of the path of enlightenment, I will no longer have any questions left. But for now, I invite you to join me on this journey – to take the lessons of enlightenment with me.

With love to you,

Elena Sidelnkova

Lesson 1. Trusting the Flow of Life

I want to speak with the Buddha. The Buddha who came into earthly incarnation as Prince Gautama but renounced his earthly life and became the founder of Buddhism on Earth.

I am listening to you, oh soul. I dwell within you.

I would like to ask for your help in clarifying questions about meditation. After all, you are essentially the pioneer of this practice.

No. I am not the pioneer. And there are no pioneers. The state of consciousness called meditation is a natural property of human consciousness. And you will come to this. I merely pointed out milestones on the path of revealing your natural qualities within yourself.

Alright. Then help guide those who have followed the path of development in Western civilization, focusing on analysis and the development of the analytical mind, to find their ways of diving into themselves and their essence. Let me ask about myself. I try to meditate, but nothing works because my mind is always active. For many years, I have been accustomed to using it for work, reading a lot of different literature, and therefore, I can’t stop it. It seems that when I try to stop my mind, I am making an effort again. Yet all teachings say that you should not resist anything, just observe your thoughts. I observe, but they never stop. What am I doing wrong?

First of all, stop worrying about it. All you need to do is trust the process. The stronger your intention to reveal your natural qualities, which were laid in you by the Creator, the more focused your path, and the fewer distractions you will encounter along the way. So, always be confident that you will find your path, and that everything you find is your path. Imagine that you need to help someone navigate a labyrinth, but they can’t hear you. And you have the ability to control the labyrinth. What would you do?

I would close the paths that do not lead to the exit.

Correct. Your teachers do the same. But the labyrinth is an exploration of all your possibilities. They have no right to decide for you whether you will explore all the corners of the labyrinth of illusions or pass by them. Moreover, it is believed that it is better for you to explore all parts of the labyrinth of illusions, to become saturated with explorations, to know all your possibilities. Then, you will consciously choose the direct path to God. However, many of you have become so engrossed in the Lila, so tangled in the labyrinth, that you cannot find your way out. Many enjoy what happens in the labyrinth and do not want to leave it for various reasons. They fear that outside the labyrinth of illusions, there is nothing, or they are afraid of the unknown beyond the labyrinth. Or they are satisfied with what is in the labyrinth and are in no hurry to part with it.

But in any case, the one who already realizes that everything around them is just a labyrinth of illusions, or as you were told, a labyrinth of reflections, has already started on the path out of it. The labyrinth is designed so that as soon as you become emotionally or mentally involved in certain events, you are immediately drawn into the part of the labyrinth where a similar experience occurred. This is why you are advised not to dwell on past memories or daydream about the future. In other words, your consciousness is constantly scattered throughout different parts of the labyrinth, and thus, in the specific point of the labyrinth of illusions where you are, your consciousness is practically absent and therefore cannot move further. How can you move if, say, you are blind and deaf?

By touch, automatically.

Exactly. That’s how you stumble through your labyrinths of illusions – by touch and on autopilot. But your conscious participation in your movement is needed. When you open your eyes and turn on your hearing in the labyrinth, you see where you are going. You hear what is happening. But when you are blind and deaf, when your consciousness is in the past or the future, you do not move through the labyrinth. Part of your consciousness constantly returns to past events, so your left leg is in the past, in other sections of the labyrinth. Part of your consciousness is in the future, when you dream or make plans, that is, metaphorically speaking, your right leg is in the future, in other sections of the labyrinth of illusions. How then can you move in the present? Where can the body go if the legs are in different realities? Do you understand?

That’s why you are taught to keep your consciousness in the «here and now.» This is very important. It does not mean that you should not dream or make plans. But you need to consciously manage this process, not let the mind wander like a horse without a harness.

Therefore, the first thing to learn is to keep your consciousness in the state of «here and now.» When your mind is always focused on the present moment – on this very second of living, this second of being in the labyrinth of illusions.

It is important to realize that the labyrinth of illusions itself exists only in your consciousness. That is, it is created by your thoughts. And thus, you can manage your labyrinth of illusions. This is a very important thesis for awareness. If you are aware and control your consciousness and your mind, then you can manage the labyrinth of your illusions. And that means consciously choosing what to create in your life, which events to go through. So if you are fantasizing or making a plan, you need to learn to control this process. Then events that you don’t need or aren’t interested in won’t happen in your life.

Wait a minute. I asked about meditation. Is the mind even needed in meditation?

Nothing is unnecessary. Everything is perfect and serves your development. Development is the path to God. You are all developing, and therefore you are all going to God, but in different ways. I am trying to start my story from the basics.

Have you used your mind during meditation?

Where do you think I put it?

I stopped it.

Yes. But if I had stopped it forever, I would have gone mad. And there are examples of such practices. It is neither good nor bad; it’s just one of the paths. It’s important not just to stop the mind, but also to not become insane, and instead learn to master your mind perfectly.

Have you mastered it?

I am also on this path, at a certain stage, in a certain part of my labyrinth.

Sorry for getting off track, but many people are troubled by the question of your death. They say that the wife of the house owner you visited poisoned the soup. There are different versions of why you ate that soup and died. One of them says you ate the soup on behalf of the owner of the house to save him. Didn’t you know the soup was poisoned?

This is also an important part of the teaching: TRUST. You must trust the process and realize that EVERYTHING that happens contributes to your growth. Without this, it is difficult to proceed. Or rather, not proceed but flow along the River of Existence that they speak of. It’s the same as swimming against the current or overcoming a strong current. Let’s compare the path to God with a current. The farther you are from God, the slower the current. And you can resist it. By resisting it, you still can’t stop it, but you expend a colossal amount of energy. The closer you are to the Source, that is, to God, the stronger the current, the harder it is to resist. Many of you are stuck on the first steps, on those sections where resistance is easier. And you try to swim against the current, thereby wasting all your life force and dying. And when their body is exhausted from resisting the Stream of Life, which carries them to God, it dies, and then the Stream carries the consciousness of the deceased to the Source because it is inevitable. Such is the nature of the flow of life: it always strives toward its Creator, the Source of life.

What does it mean to «not resist»?

It means simply surrendering to the flow. Not hindering it. Accepting all its manifestations and just observing what happens. You don’t try to stop, you don’t try to go against the flow, you just accept everything that the flow brings. And if the flow brings you a cup of poison, you meekly and without complaint, with complete trust in the process, accept this cup of poison, being confident that everything that happens contributes to your growth, that is, your striving toward God. And if at that moment you need to accept poison to unite with the Creator, then you accept it without doubt or regret. Do you understand?

I knew there was poison in the soup. But how could I reject it? If I reject it, it would mean that I am resisting the Flow of Life. It would mean that I do not believe in my life’s power. It would mean that I am so attached to my earthly life that I fear letting it go. Consider everything as an experience that you observe. By the end of my life, I hadn’t experienced observing consciousness at the moment of death, observing a body that had taken poison. And I simply accepted this as my experience, as what at that moment was the most perfect action for me, the most direct path to returning to the Creator. This is complete trust in the life process and trust in the Creator. For nothing happens by chance. So, I calmly took the poison because I understood: this is my path, and I was not attached to physical existence to the same extent as you are.

Why did you die then? I mean, your level of consciousness and purity should have dissolved or neutralized the poison.

You haven’t fully understood. Complete non-resistance. If I try to neutralize the poison in the soup, that too is an action and a form of resistance. Therefore, full acceptance literally means accepting the poison without change.

I mean something else. I imagine it this way: a certain level of consciousness, like the one you had at that moment, is a kind of automatic disinfection system. That is, the quality of consciousness automatically purifies everything it comes into contact with.

Yes. If done unconsciously. A saintly hermit lives, mad, meaning he has completely shut off his mind, and the quality of his radiance automatically disinfects and purifies the space around him. But he does not control this process. He simply is the sun, which cannot help but shine because all obstacles to radiance have been removed. This is one of the paths. I too am the sun that cannot help but shine. But I can control this process, and in certain cases choose not to use my radiant qualities. In this case, I trusted the process and chose not to use this quality to neutralize the poison. That is, I fully accepted everything that was happening.

I don’t understand. Let’s take the case of the saintly hermit. He is the sun, and there are no barriers to his radiance. Does that mean you set barriers to your radiance?

Rather, they are not barriers but focusing mechanisms. A laser beam is more powerful because it is confined, because all its power is focused in a beam rather than in a wave. Likewise with you: if you control your consciousness and your radiance, you can be the sun, or you can be the beam. The choice is yours.

Alright. Let’s go back to meditation. How should one meditate correctly? Is it necessary to turn off the mind, and how can this be done?

When you say «turn off the mind,» you imply a specific action to turn it off. Like flipping a switch, or like locking thoughts inside something from which they cannot escape. But that already is an action and is resistance. And therefore, you don’t need to turn off the mind. You need to dissolve it.

Dissolve the mind?

Yes. When a river flows into the ocean, it dissolves in it and loses its shape and its properties of swiftness. Therefore, you need to become the ocean, and then the rivers of the mind will simply and naturally dissolve in it.

It’s easy to say. But how do you become this ocean?

You don’t need to become it. The ocean is already within you. You just need to open it, to remove the barriers that separate your consciousness from this ocean.

How do you do that? What are these barriers? I thought the mind itself was the barrier.

You have many barriers. That’s why you need to remove them one by one, sequentially. And that’s why these paths often take decades. But there is another universal path. It’s the path of fullness. You divert a lot of energy to actions that are insignificant from the perspective of moving towards the Creator. This is your choice, and no one can interfere with how you spend your Divine energy. But if you eliminate from your life those actions that are useless in terms of accelerating your movement towards the Creator, you will free up a tremendous amount of energy. Then your river will truly become a river and surge towards the ocean, breaking through all dams. This path is widely known to you, and many practice it. THIS IS THE PATH WHERE THE EGO IS REMOVED, THAT IS, ACTIONS OF RESENTMENT, REJECTION, MALICE, JEALOUSY, IRRITATION, AND SO ON, ON WHICH YOU SPEND A COLOSSAL AMOUNT OF ENERGY EVERY SECOND. Moreover, if you remove some activities that are not particularly significant to you and are more performed automatically because it’s customary, or because others would judge you if you don’t do them, a significant amount of energy will also be freed.

Therefore, as you free your river of consciousness from various barriers, you become an increasingly powerful stream of consciousness that naturally strives towards the Creator. And so, one day, you experience what you call enlightenment. That is, all the remaining barriers, even the small ones, are swept away by this stream of consciousness, and you break through into the ocean of consciousness and reunite with it. If you continue to cling to obstacles, like a swimmer clinging to driftwood floating in the river or to the roots of trees on the shore, you will not reach the ocean of consciousness, and you will spend all your strength on clinging. On the attempt to hold on to the shore. On resisting the current.

This is fear and distrust of the process. What are you afraid of? Losing your life? But life, as you know, doesn’t end with the visible world you perceive. It doesn’t end with this current perceived reality. Life is infinite and eternal. And therefore, it cannot be lost. You may lose your personal attachments. You may lose exactly those ties. But you cannot lose everything. For everything always dwells within you.

Alright. But maybe people are afraid of losing their physical life because in physical life there are many temptations, physical pleasures, and sensations. Well, let’s say, in a subtle state, I won’t be able to feel the taste of a fruit or the scent of a flower.

At another level, different elements and instruments of sensations and pleasures will be available to you. But you are stuck on one level repeatedly and do not wish to move beyond it. Haven’t you tried all the tastes and smells in your life?

Probably all. At least most of the available ones.

Then what holds you here?

The fact that I haven’t explored everything in this world yet. That I’ve just awakened to conscious exploration, and so everything interests me.

Yes. But you must realize that an even more fascinating exploration awaits you ahead. And so, there’s no point in lingering on the path; just trust the flow of life. The flow of life is designed so that everything happens precisely when it is possible and necessary. It’s very important to understand this. And if death comes, it means that it is both possible and necessary right now. If these two concepts do not align, death will not occur or will pass you by. If it is possible, but not necessary. Or vice versa, if it is necessary, but impossible for a number of reasons. For example, your unpreparedness.

Do only those who are ready die?

Yes.

But that’s not true. Many die young, in accidents, and their consciousness wasn’t ready for it. They didn’t choose this.

How do you know that?

Here’s the translated version of your text, with emphasis on questions where applicable:

From the stories of their relatives. From the stories of friends about what a person said or thought before death.

You are confusing two processes: the journey towards death and death itself. The journey towards death can take a long time. In fact, you are moving towards it throughout your entire life. For most of you, life is a slow journey towards death from the moment of birth. In every second, there is a convergence of two concepts, two requirements: possibility and necessity. And if these two requirements do not align in a given second, in the moment of here and now, death does not occur. A person can walk towards death for a very long time, but in every moment of the here and now, in every second of their awareness, these two moments do not coincide.

There are many cases of suicide attempts where the person does not die. It seems like they chose it, but somehow they were miraculously saved, or someone intervened. This means that the possibility and necessity – determined by many moments and circumstances and being specific energetic states – did not align. But at some point, these two moments do coincide. Perhaps before this, in the preceding hours or days, the person was not seeking death and was full of plans. But precisely in that second, these two requirements – possibility and necessity – aligned, and therefore death occurred.

Because death is like a flash. And enlightenment is like a flash. «Possibility» is the combustible material. «Necessity» is the match, the fuse. If they come together, a flash occurs. If not, it doesn’t. The match burns out without having anything to ignite. The combustible material has the potential to ignite but lacks the fuse or match to set it on fire.

So, throughout your life, you prepare yourself as combustible material for the consciousness to ignite. And there is always the life-giving fire next to you, the fuse that can ignite you. But until you have accumulated enough «combustible material,» you will not ignite. Or you may ignite, but quickly burn out.

For many, a teacher, guru, or master serves as that match or fuse, helping you ignite with their fire. But the same teacher, guru, or master spends a long time preparing you as combustible material, purging you of everything that cannot burn, everything that hinders your ignition. And this is the path of enlightenment. Both the path of enlightenment and death are essentially the same process. Because at the moment of death, you become enlightened. But you become enlightened not in the physical body, as enlightened masters do in earthly incarnations. Therefore, enlightenment is akin to death, the death of your physical form. If you are not ready to die, then you are not ready for enlightenment.

In the case of the death of the physical body, it simply dies because it is exhausted from resisting the process of enlightenment. In the case of real enlightenment in life, you burn away your prejudices, your beliefs, your attachments, all your personal characteristics that you call the «ego,» and thus become free from the physical world. And you exist in it as an observer. Essentially, the life of each of you is just a path to enlightenment, and there is no other. Enlightenment is the path to God, the path to the Creator, as they say, the realization of your unity with everything. And you walk this path of enlightenment your entire life. But your whole life, you resist this path. Because you have fears. Because your memories of past lives are blocked. And they are blocked for your own good, otherwise, your mind might not be able to handle many details of your past experiences. You don’t believe in your capabilities; therefore, you fear death because you have been instilled with various paradigms and norms that you cannot break away from. All this prevents you from living enlightened. A child is born enlightened, with a pure consciousness. However, your upbringing imposes many restrictions on it; you teach it to resist the process of life, that is, to resist the process of enlightenment, the striving for enlightenment, and death. Therefore, at the end of life, your physical bodies, like many other lower bodies, become so tired of this resistance that they disintegrate, and you become enlightened consciousness, but lose some of your forms.

Thus, death and enlightenment are one and the same process. It’s just that in the first case, it happens unconsciously and is not controlled by you. In the second case, you move towards it consciously and learn to manage this process. Therefore, those who seek enlightenment must part with the fear of death, for they are one and the same.

And what about meditation?

Don’t rush. On the path of unity, on the path of enlightenment, there are many obstacles and hidden pitfalls for you. Therefore, I am trying to explain to you the essence of the process. Meditation is the path of overcoming and dissolving within yourself all the obstacles on your path to death or enlightenment. So, the first step you need to take in your consciousness is to accept death, but not as an inevitability, but as a necessity. And to be ready to die at any second. Because only then will the possibility and necessity of this align. Only then will you learn to align these two possibilities within yourself every second. This does not mean that you will die. It means that you will always be ready to ignite. And the only thing left for you to do is to accumulate enough combustible material for ignition. And as soon as you accumulate it within yourself, as soon as your consciousness becomes fit for ignition – you will ignite with the fire of enlightenment. As long as you fear death, this will not happen in life. But after accumulating enough material for combustion, perhaps at the moment of death, you will ignite with the fire of enlightenment, because each of you goes through this stage in your afterlife.

How can one learn not to fear death?

By contemplating it. Not by imagining how you will die, but by reflecting on what you will lose if you do. Detach yourself in advance, even before death, from everything you are attached to, everything you cannot let go of. That’s why there are so many practices where people renounce wealth, material possessions, sex, and pleasures. They retreat into solitude to reject external stimuli and delve deeply within themselves. All of this is aimed at parting with everything that holds you in your physical form – everything that prevents you from becoming pure fuel for ignition. So to speak, this is what does not «burn,» that is, the feelings and sensations that bind you to this part of the labyrinth of illusions with iron chains, which cannot ignite.

But people say that our thoughts create reality. And if I start contemplating death, won’t I attract it? I’ve been told that the main reason people die is because they allow thoughts of death. In old age or youth, they either call upon it in weakness or fear it in health, and thus it comes. I’ve been told that if you learn never to think about death, you can live a very long time in physical form.

That’s true. But your question indicates that you are afraid of death.

It’s not so much that I’m directly afraid, but I still don’t want to die yet. Isn’t there a way for a person to choose their time of death when they are ready for it?

Of course, there is. But that’s not the point. The question is not when you will die or how long you will live, or whether you will die at a time of your choosing. The real question is: how much are you striving for enlightenment in this life? If you choose to explore your life in all its details, pleasures, nuances, and possibilities, then you are simply wandering through the labyrinth of illusions. You are choosing to explore it consciously rather than stumbling through it blindly. Imagine the labyrinth as having walls lined with screens, each showing different lives and realities. You can step into each screen and experience the life or game behind it. If before, you stumbled upon these screens accidentally and entered different situations unconsciously, now you want to consciously explore them all.

That’s why you don’t want to leave the labyrinth of illusions, and that’s why you want to prolong your physical life or return to it again – because, metaphorically speaking, you haven’t traveled enough or played enough with these illusions. You can also imagine this as a tree you are climbing, moving along the branches of this wondrous tree and exploring them. Each branch bears different fruits, and you want to taste them all. But if you are only focused on reaching upward, uninterested in the branches or fruits, you aim directly for the sun along the trunk. This happens when you have tasted all the fruits, or you are no longer interested and don’t want to wait. Then you channel your consciousness straight toward enlightenment. In this case, thoughts of death become simply a readiness to rise, a readiness to abandon all the fruits with their tastes and aromas. This is the desire for ignition. You are like a candle with a wick inside. But all that wax surrounding the wick – your life’s wax – is very impure, and because of this, the wick either cannot ignite or burns very weakly.

Throughout your life, your life’s wax gradually burns away, and the candle smolders. But when the candle burns down completely, you become the fire – a brief flare where the body of the candle, its life wax, fully dissolves. And then you die. But if, while still alive, you manage to dissolve all the life’s excess wax, the body of the candle, and free the wick – your divine spirit embedded within you – you can ignite while still alive.

What happens to those who ignite while still alive? I mean their physical body and their further path.

Everything is individual; it happens differently for everyone. BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL DIFFERENT, AND YOUR PATHS VARY. THE DEGREE OF YOUR READINESS FOR THIS PROCESS DIFFERS. THAT IS, YOUR LEVEL OF PURITY VARIES, AND FOR EACH OF YOU, THE CONCEPTS OF POSSIBILITY AND NECESSITY COMBINE DIFFERENTLY. That’s why some ignite with the loss of their physical body, like some of your yogis, while others ignite while keeping their physical body.

We still haven’t talked about meditation.

We’ve been talking about it all along. Because meditation is not just sitting in silence. What you understand as meditation is a process. But true meditation is a result. More precisely, it is a state of consciousness, a way of life, a natural way of being. What you call meditation is simply the path to real meditation, which is a constant, natural state of consciousness. But we will talk about this another time, if you are interested.

Of course, I’m interested! That’s why I came to you. Thank you for your clarifications and help.

And I thank you for seeking your path and trying to help others find theirs. But do not despair. For your whole life is a movement toward enlightenment, for nothing else is given. The only question is how much you resist this process. So just learn to trust it, and everything will come naturally. The flow of life will carry you and direct you toward enlightenment.

Lesson 2. Awaken the Buddha Within

Hello, Buddha. Shall we continue?

Greetings, oh soul. We shall continue if that is your wish.

You are trying to tell us what enlightenment is and what must be done to attain it. The first condition is to accept your death as a natural and desirable part of the enlightenment process and to not fear it. This means not clinging to earthly existence or earthly illusion.

Yes, that is an essential condition. Changes within you are only possible when you allow them into your life. Not just allow, but throw the doors wide open to the flow of life and fully surrender to its currents.

When you say to fully surrender, do you mean our mind?

The mind itself is not the barrier. But the qualities of your mind keep you captive in illusions.

Does this mean, for example, that plants, which have no mind, can easily and freely become enlightened? Or are they already enlightened?

As you were told, enlightenment is the sense of unity with all that exists. The consciousness of the plant kingdom is not as separated from the planetary spirit’s consciousness as yours is; it is less individualized. Therefore, it could be said that the plant kingdom is partially enlightened. This is because plant consciousness is not fully detached from the consciousness of its realm, its unity. In this sense, plants are more enlightened than you. However, the functions of plants are limited compared to yours. Their capabilities are more restricted. They are mastering the tasks of the second density and will also need to continue evolving through the stages of spiritual evolution.

But this confuses me. There’s a theory that the soul goes through different stages of separation and return to unity. That it descends first to the first level, starting with the mineral kingdom, and gradually moves up the ladder of evolution, mastering new abilities of the Creative Spirit. After the plant kingdom, it ascends to the animal kingdom and undergoes its experience there. Then it rises to human consciousness and continues evolving. But if humans acquire a mind that hinders enlightenment, isn’t that a kind of degradation? If plants are more enlightened than animals and humans, then what’s the point of it all? Doesn’t this make the whole path seem wrong?

There are no right or wrong paths. At each level of development, there are ways to achieve enlightenment. Every essence, as it moves along its path of growth, always has the potential for enlightenment, meaning the restoration of its connection to unity. Among you, there are enlightened minerals, enlightened plants, and enlightened animals.

Are you referring to whales and dolphins? But aren’t they remnants of some alien race that originally came to Earth to help humanity, and that’s why they remain a sufficiently enlightened alien race?

They did come to this planet, and a similar form of existence was created for them, although their original appearance was slightly different. They are also in the realm of duality, at the third density transitioning into the fourth, yet they were able to achieve enlightenment by reconnecting with the elements of Earth’s spirit – thus becoming restored unity. What I mean is that each level has different directions for development: to follow the path of unity or to follow the path of separation. Each of you and every essence at every level of development constantly chooses between these two polar forces. Depending on the choice, each essence is more or less enlightened. Humanity was given the mind to realize the ability for knowledge and exploration. Humanity was also given emotions, which many races lack and which are absent in the plant and animal kingdoms. By combining this palette of emotions with the qualities of the mind, you are meant to find the most optimal balance between unity and separation.

Have you found it?

What I have found is my path. And the path of each individual cannot resemble the path of another because all essences are different. They have different radiances, different experiences that cannot be exactly repeated.

Help us find it. Maybe you could tell us about your path?

My path is simple. And you already have much information about it. But alright, I am willing to try again. If you learn to feel and realize unity with all that exists during life, then in the afterlife you will experience the same.

But isn’t it said that in the afterlife, everyone restores that unity, everyone returns to the Father, and then each is asked if they want to return to the consciousness of separation. And most choose to return.

Yes. But that is a slightly different quality, a different perspective. How can I explain it to you… Well, imagine that there is a maze in which you wander, a kind of game where you roam the maze looking for clues, prizes, or gifts. Or toys. Imagine you told a child that there is a maze filled with new toys, and they rushed to find them. Then, at a certain point, when you see that the child is tired and lost in the maze, needing a break and a reminder that there is an exit so they aren’t afraid of the maze, you bring them back, let them rest, and ask: Will you go again? And what child would refuse an exciting game of searching for toys? They will rush back in and begin to get lost again in the same passages, following the same routes. Less developed individuals will just chaotically dart around the maze, as humanity does. More developed ones will start drawing a map of the maze and trying to exit in groups, which is also happening with you. But in reality, something else needs to be done. You need to rise above the maze, look at it from a bird’s-eye view, broadening your perspective of the maze. And when your consciousness rises above the maze you’re wandering in, you’ll realize the maze is endless. Which means you can wander through it endlessly. You’ll see the layout of the maze. You’ll see where the toys are hidden. However, the desire to seek them will fade. Because you’ll understand that wandering through the maze forever is a futile and pointless task.

There is no exit?

If you are inside the maze, there is no exit. There are only winding passages created by your imagination and perception. Then you abandon the maze as a meaningless endeavor and leave it. You leave this density. That is my path.

But after leaving the maze of illusions, what did you gain? What came next?

Next was the Ocean of Consciousness, in which I remain to this day. When I choose to become the ocean, I become it and submerge into it, losing myself. When I choose to become the current of the ocean, I emerge from it and find myself.

And what is the purpose of this?

There is no purpose. There is awareness, and there is the discovery of your depth.

So, you are following the path of the Absolute of absolutes. The Absolute once told me that His path is separation into forms to know Himself in all details. And His Absolute’s path is deepening, the exploration of His own depth.

I follow my own path, and nothing else is possible. I chose the path of immersion, not separation.

Then can you tell us about the path of immersion, the exploration of one’s depth?

It is impossible to describe. It is beyond the possibilities of human words. Such concepts do not exist in your language or understanding of the world. But I will try nonetheless. Are you afraid of depth? Are you capable of diving into any ocean depth without fear?

Probably not. Or rather, let me put it this way: if I could breathe underwater, I wouldn’t be afraid to dive deep.

You are always setting conditions. If we were talking about boundless trust in the process of life, in the process of enlightenment… You are not ready for this complete, total trust. This complete and total trust is the process of full surrender, giving yourself over. Imagine you are in the flooded compartment of a sunken ship. And you need to get out. Before you is a tunnel filled with water. You don’t know how long it is or how much air you have left. Maybe you won’t reach the next compartment, or maybe you will. Can you dive into that tunnel without fear and simply trust the process, trust the paths of Spirit within you?

Without fear, probably not. But everything will depend on the level of motivation. If, let’s say, on the other side, in another section, there is someone close to me who needs help, for example, my child, THEN I WILL STILL DIVE IN.

That’s wonderful. But this is not about a heroic deed; it’s about complete and total trust. You can’t trust the process because you’re constantly afraid of losing something, without understanding that there’s nothing to lose. You are simply the energy of Spirit, which cannot be lost. No matter what form you take, you always remain. But this is a very difficult step for you to grasp. What do you need to do to fully trust the process of life?

I don’t know. You know that better than me.

You need to overcome your fear.

But how do I do that? After all, I’ve been told that fear is a disease of consciousness, a virus that needs to be cured. You can’t just get rid of it.

I got rid of it.

You came into incarnation with more complete consciousness.

But I also had to struggle through the labyrinth of illusions. Do you remember the story of how I was a prince, living with everything I wanted, but one day I saw the suffering of others and was shocked by the contrast to the life I had led? This is a symbolic comparison. That was the rising above the labyrinth of illusions and understanding the futility of wandering through it.

But what should we do? How do we get rid of the fear of losing?

Just lose.

So, give up everything? Go into a hermit’s life?

Or be ready to lose everything at any moment. Because only then can you truly gain everything. They are connected.

How do I do that?

Simply ask yourself: are you ready to lose everything?

I don’t know. Probably not. Rather, it depends on what for.

For gaining everything.

These are such general words. They seem theoretically understandable, but for us, it’s still an abstraction. It turns out we have to lose everything for something unknown.

Exactly.

Are you saying we need to learn not to fear the unknown?

Yes. Because the unknown doesn’t exist.

You’re talking about diving into the depth, meaning that if we dive into the depth of Spirit, we lose our personal aspects?

You lose your partiality and gain your depth. You gain everything. You no longer need to explore every flavor; you will acquire all possible flavors. You no longer need to explore every scent; you will encompass all scents. You no longer need to explore every shade of color individually; you will hold all possible shades of all colors. For example, you won’t isolate the red color for study but will dive into the properties of red light, gaining its depth, its richness. Here’s a similar analogy: you don’t examine the shades; you immerse yourself in the richness of red color.

You’re saying the unknown doesn’t exist. Does this mean that when my consciousness becomes whole, I will somehow know everything, and therefore, the unknown doesn’t exist?

You will simply become everything. Can «everything» not know something?

We’re all learning the art of creation. From the perspective of creation, what is the process of diving into depth? I mean, when we learn creation through separation, we choose different colors each time, deciding how to lay them on the canvas of the Tapestry of the Universe. But if we follow the path of immersion, how does creation happen then?

You still have to master the creation of form. But this is the creation of unity. Like comparing a flat picture to a three-dimensional one. Think of your cartoons or movies. You paint the plot of the picture by applying colors to the canvas. But that picture is two-dimensional. Then, if you follow the path of immersion, you give the painting depth, starting with three-dimensionality, and you immerse yourself in it. It’s like stepping into a television screen or entering a painting, passing through it as a portal into the depth of your creation. And there, too, you paint a profound picture and immerse yourself in it.

But this is the process of creating realities, right?

Yes. Exactly.

So, the process of creating realities with our minds, as a process of creation, is the combination of the path of separation into form and the path of immersion into depth?

All your actions, all your awareness, is such a combination in different proportions for each of you. This is precisely why each person’s path is so unique.

Will you teach us how to dive into the depth?

I will tell you about this path. The path into the depth of Spirit.

Did Jesus follow a different path?

You can ask Him that. He walked the path of Love.

What are the differences?

The difference lies in the way of joining, in the path of attaining one’s unity. He showed you the way of reunification of every external form with its unity. And this can be done through love, which is the feeling of connection with all forms. You love your child, and therefore you are ready to take on her suffering and pain. This is the path of compassion. This is the path of love. The path where you unite with your child and ease her suffering. You merge with her and for a moment become one with her. You are ready to give her everything you have, that is, to cease to exist for her sake. This is the path of love. The path where the form does not feel its unity and suffers in its separation. And therefore, you give it your strength and the feeling of unity with you. Because since you love her, you already feel unity with her. Jesus loved and loves all in this way. He feels, he is aware of his unity with everything and gives everyone the opportunity, through his channel of love, to reunite with their own unity. It’s like reunification from the outside. Like a process of hugging, where two people simply connect for a while, exchange energies, and feel their unity. In this sense, Jesus constantly embraces the whole world. All that exists.

I, however, walk the path of discovering my unity from within. I tell you: I am in you, and you are in me. We are one. You can find me within yourself. And I can find you within myself. For we are not divided. For all divisions are conditional. In me is all the detail of the world. And in you is all the detail of the world. The only difference is that these are different details.

Different? If we are one, how can these details be different?

Because you have your depth, and I have mine. We are different, and yet we are one, and we are the same.

Wait. You probably mean that there is some depth accessible to everyone, which connects all, that is, the Absolute. And each of us, in our own way, explores and discovers the same depth. But then it turns out that everyone has their own Buddha.

Exactly. Everyone has their own Buddha. And everyone discovers him in their own way. They discover their Buddha within themselves.

By Buddha, do we mean a certain level of consciousness, or directly you?

Directly me. Let’s not talk about me first, because it will be hard for you to understand. You smell a flower and feel its fragrance. The scent of a lily or a rose. But this is an external path. At the moment of perceiving the scent of the flower, you reunite with it. And this is the path of Love, the path of Jesus. You love the flower when you inhale its beautiful fragrance.

Sorry to interrupt. But if I smell something that has a really bad odor, does it also count as the path of love, even though I don’t like that smell?

Yes. Because you are separated from it. Do you love your own smells? Mostly, you don’t even distinguish them. But in a bad smell, you distinguish, you separate. But in reality, there is not a single smell outside of you that is not literally present within you.

Do you mean that I can reveal this smell within myself? Or that my body contains all smells, including bad ones, but I just don’t notice them because I’m used to them?

Not because you’re used to them, but because they are your smells, you are one with them, they are part of you. Therefore, it’s not a habit but actually a level of unity. When you perceive a being outside of you as separate, you perceive its smells as separate from you. And that’s why some become unacceptable to you.

Why some in particular? By this logic, the scent of a rose should also become unpleasant to me, because the rose is separate from me.

It’s about the rose.

The rose?

Yes. Because the rose has learned to reunite with you.

Has the rose learned, while I haven’t?

Exactly. The rose can unite with anyone who smells it. This is the level of a beautiful flower, a high level of development within the plant kingdom, and therefore a level of attaining unity. This is why anyone who smells a rose perceives its scent as delightful: they begin to feel a sense of unity with the rose because it knows how to become one with a person. On the other hand, plants or other entities that emit unpleasant smells have simply not learned how to achieve their unity outside of themselves, to give their unity, to restore it every time during interaction and communication.

So, does this mean that people have different scents? And if I think someone smells nice, does it mean I can find my unity with them?

No. It means that the person can find unity with you because the scent is theirs, and the perception is yours. If the process is mutual, you both perceive each other’s pleasant smells. As an example, the secretions of a baby almost have no odor.

But that’s because the baby’s food is milk.

No. That’s because the baby’s food is love. Love is passed through the mother’s milk to the child.

What about wet nurses or artificial milk?

You’ve sensed this correctly. In those cases, love is transmitted to a lesser extent, or not at all. However, there are many instances where wet nurses convey love through their milk, a love that simply resides in their hearts for all children. That’s why their milk is abundant, and they generously give it to other children without seeing them as strangers in that sense.

You’re opening up so many new topics for me that we’re constantly straying from the topic of enlightenment.

No, we aren’t straying. We’re diving deeper into it.

So, breastfeeding is not just about nourishing the baby’s physical body but about literally transmitting love through a flow of energy. Is that the connection between the mother and child?

You’re catching on quickly. Although the nourishment of the physical body is present, it’s not primary. The first part is more important.

So, if a person emits unpleasant smells, like a homeless person, does that mean they don’t see unity with me?

It also means that you don’t see or feel unity with them. It’s a mutual process, of course. When you smell a rose, it gives you its love and sense of unity with you. You, receiving this sincere and pure gesture, respond to it and open up to it, open up to this scent. You don’t reject it, and in doing so, you allow it to unite with you. For the rose only smells when it unites with you. Likewise, you only emit a scent when someone leans in to smell you. But when you see a homeless person, you’re already predisposed to separate yourself from them, and they do the same. Your scents mutually reject each other, and you don’t accept one another.

Are you saying that a homeless person’s smell should become pleasant to me?

There are different paths. If you don’t separate yourself from the homeless person and feel unity with them, their scent won’t bother you. It will be your scent, and one’s own scent doesn’t bother them.

So, does this mean that a person’s ability to reveal unity with others can be recognized through their smell?

Yes, but we’re talking about a natural scent, not perfumes or fragrances. The same goes for taste, or any other level of perception. When each level of perception recognizes everything as beautiful, that is the consciousness of unity.

So, you sense beauty in everything and everyone – in every smell and every taste?

Yes. Otherwise, you won’t be able to understand the depth. You just won’t immerse yourself in a stench, unaware that it’s unpleasant not because it’s inherently bad but because you are unable to open up your unity with it. Just as it cannot open its unity with you.

Speaking of fragrances, it’s no coincidence that there’s a tradition of burning incense in temples. How can this be explained?

It’s an attempt to create unity, to create an atmosphere of togetherness. If each person in the temple were given a fragrant rose, they would start to open up to its scent and its level of unity. Each person would then have a chance to open up their unity with those who are also inhaling the scent of the rose.

So, it’s better to go pray not in temples, but in a rose garden.

Exactly. In a rose garden, it’s easy to feel your unity, at least with the rose. But there are many places where you cannot feel unity. Therefore, the rose garden is excellent as a start and as a reference point. When you enter a place filled with foul odors, imagine a rose garden – literally. Then you bring the fragrance of the rose garden to that place, manifesting the unity of the rose in the space you have entered. This is how any scent can be used. But your mistake is that you light incense outside of yourselves and fail to find fragrances within you. You need to reveal the scent of the rose from within. You must remember the scent of the rose garden, fixate on it, and find it within yourself, and in any place, activate that scent of the rose garden, as if turning it on. This is not merely a psychological process of adjusting your sensory receptors. It goes deeper. It’s an energetic process, akin to pouring living water into stagnant water. It’s like airing out a room, bringing fresh air into a closed space. In a literal sense, closed, because most of your consciousness is locked.

We have shifted to the fragrance of a flower and its unfolding within ourselves to better understand how to awaken the Buddha within?

Yes. Essentially, it is the same process. You awaken me within yourself.

And in this sense, I am also the path. You can simply awaken the Buddhist consciousness within yourself. That means to reveal the characteristics of Buddhist consciousness within you. But still, it’s the same process. Because then you will follow my path, and in this way, you will awaken me within yourself. But you will awaken a different version of me. Because in each of you, I will manifest differently. And there won’t be a single identical Buddha in each of you. But you can also directly call upon my consciousness from outside, so that, like a rose, I can let you experience the fragrance of my consciousness, the fragrance of Buddhism, so that you can inhale it and try to reunite with me through yourself. Through your own depth. That is why I say: I reside within you, and you reside within me, and we are one.

I am trying to visualize this with my linear mind. I was told that we are all parts, cells of God’s body, and therefore, we literally reside within Him. But you also reside in Him. How then can we simultaneously reside in you? Only if we are also within you. But we are also in Jesus. So, in linear terms, you and Jesus must also be one, and that’s why we reside in each of you, and each of you resides in us. This thesis also seems to make sense. But still, you and Jesus are distinct beings, and you also interact with each other. How can this be understood?

You are intuitively sensing the answer. Try to formulate it yourself. After all, you must awaken the Buddha within yourself. And Jesus within yourself. If I tell you how to do it, you will be trying to follow my path, and that is impossible.

Alright, I’ll try, but correct me if I go wrong. You and Jesus are separate beings. But each of you feels your unity with the other, and therefore, when we speak of Jesus, we are speaking of the Buddha within Jesus, and when we speak of you, we are speaking of Jesus within you. And the Buddha within Jesus is not the Buddha. And Jesus within the Buddha is not Jesus, because in each case there is a certain distinction. Probably the perspective of awareness. But at the same time, it is one and the same, like interconnected vessels. Like two jars in the ocean of consciousness. And each of us, if we seek the Buddha within ourselves, we awaken the Buddha within ourselves. But if we awaken the Buddha within ourselves, we awaken Jesus in the Buddha. And vice versa. If one follows the path of Jesus and awakens Jesus within oneself, one also awakens the Buddha within Jesus. And that is why each resides within the other, and all is one. But I still can’t imagine this spatially. It’s like a nesting doll within a nesting doll, but where is the division between Jesus and the Buddha?

It’s conditional. Moreover, if you seek the Buddha within yourself, you will find Jesus, not the Buddha. And if you seek Jesus within yourself, you will find the Buddha, not Jesus.

I don’t understand.

Because Jesus is searching for the Buddha. And the Buddha is searching for Jesus.

Are you speaking in riddles or allegories?

No. We are both striving to reunite with our wholeness and regain our completeness. Jesus has no need to search for himself within himself. He is already Jesus, the Path of Love. And I have no need to search for the Buddha within myself. I have already acquired him and discovered the Path of Wisdom and Balance. Therefore, as Jesus strives to reunite with me, he is searching for the Buddha within himself. In this way, if you seek him within yourself, you not only reunite with him but also with his path. And conversely, if you strive to seek me within yourself, to find the Buddha within you, you thus also find my path of aspirations. And in seeking, you also strive towards Jesus, whom I have also attained. And there are no stops on your journey. If a person has found the Buddha within themselves, they have already embarked on the Path of Love. If a person has found Christ within themselves, they have already set foot on the Buddha’s path. Because in every person, one way or another, Jesus and the Buddha must meet and embrace, becoming one.

So, does it mean that no matter which path you take, the path of the Buddha or the path of Jesus, the path of wisdom or the path of love, each path will lead to the union of wisdom and love, to the reunification of completeness?

Exactly.

They say: if you meet the Buddha – kill him.

That’s what it’s about. You shouldn’t seek only the Buddha. You must find everything. For the path of the Buddha is only the path of the Buddha; it is, after all, a path of separation, but on a higher level. One must seek the path of unity.

Does that mean that any fascination with a particular religion or sacred scripture is a mistake?

It’s just the beginning of the journey. If you study all sacred scriptures, you will understand that they all speak of the same thing – unity, love, and wisdom.

Thank you for the lesson.

And I thank you for the opportunity to share my oneness with you. I dwell in you, and you dwell in me. And we are one.

Lesson 3. Leave to Return

Hello, Buddha, speak to me.

I am here, oh soul. I am with you. I am in you, and you are in me.

I would like to continue the lessons on enlightenment, if possible.

That entirely depends on you. On your readiness to comprehend it all, to give yourself completely.

Give myself to whom?

To yourself. To the world. To God. To the Universe. To the Creator. It depends only on your willingness to give everything you have. We’ve already spoken about this.

Yes, I remember. You spoke about diving into the depths of oneself, into the unknown. How can one do that?

It’s more like submersion rather than a dive. You float on the surface of the sea, but then you stop trying to stay afloat and allow yourself to sink. You completely relax and surrender to the element of water, which takes you deeper and deeper. But this path is hard for you because you are afraid of losing what is on the surface. You don’t believe that in the depths there is something greater and better than what you can comprehend. Each of you knows that beyond the threshold of death, God awaits, but no one is in a hurry to die and meet God. Thus, the paths of those who have submerged into their depths involve dying while alive. To gradually become the ocean itself into which one needs to dive. For if you become the ocean yourself, you no longer need to dive anywhere – you are the depth.

But how can this be done?

Gradually open this depth within yourself, step by step, dissolving drop by drop everything that is not this depth.

Are you speaking about dissolving one’s ego and renouncing worldly things?

Yes. For you are simply clinging to the illusion surrounding you. When you come to understand that everything is an illusion, to truly feel this moment, within you arises the desire to know what is not an illusion. It’s like the painted fireplace in Papa Carlo’s closet. Behind the fireplace is a beautiful door. Will you cling to the painted picture, knowing it is just a picture? The problem is that the illusion created by and for you is so detailed and believable that you don’t notice the difference. You don’t see that the fireplace is painted on a canvas. And you don’t see the magical door behind it. But it’s right in front of you.

Consider everything you see as a fireplace painted on a canvas. By viewing everything this way – any object, any event, every feeling – you will begin to understand that everything surrounding you distracts you from the magical door behind the canvas. And so you will begin to ruthlessly tear these canvases from your life because the thirst to know what lies behind the magical door will become so great that no canvases or barriers will stop you.

But life has many beautiful feelings and experiences that can teach us a lot. Is none of that necessary? Why then was this illusion of the canvas created? To distract us from the magical door?

That is the path. To return to yourself, you must first leave yourself. To return, you must leave. Do you understand? Otherwise, you won’t return.

Why leave at all?

To find a new path of returning to yourself and knowing yourself. To once again be convinced of your perfection and the unnecessary desire to leave yourself. To discover new facets of yourself and test yourself again in new qualities. There are many answers. But this is the Way: to leave in order to return. If you never leave, the desire to do so will always be present, even if leaving is forbidden or impossible. But once you leave yourself, you will realize you left in vain, and you will return with the knowledge that there was never any need to leave. For you are everything. When a person has no bars on the windows and no locked doors, they do not strive to leave because they know they can do so at any moment. But your illusions have become prisons, and you don’t even notice them.

But these illusions contain many temptations, many details to live through, like toys for a child. And many still want to play with them.

That’s why I speak of those who are ready to leave. To leave everything because all of it is just a painted canvas with a fireplace, nothing more.

We began with meditation and how to meditate correctly.

There are no special meditation techniques. Meditation itself is simply your natural state. You could say that meditation is seeing the illusion of the painted fireplace on the canvas. And if you see the illusion in everything, your life becomes meditative. And you will treat it exactly like a canvas with a painted fireplace. Many of you sit in different postures and stop your inner dialogue. This, of course, allows you to submerge into the depths for a few moments and understand what that is, to not fear this submersion into yourself. It’s like diving into the ocean while holding your breath. You go deeper and deeper, but you still fear letting go, and you return to the painted fireplace. But sooner or later, you won’t want to return and will submerge completely, taking the risk or being ready to dive.

Therefore, your whole life should become meditation, the understanding that everything around you is just painted canvases that miraculously come to life. And then you will learn to see in all events, in every person, the beautiful but hidden door to the unknown. And the door to Divinity. There is such a door in each of you. And if you discard the external «canvases of illusion,» you simply open this door within yourself and pass through it.

It’s easy to say, but harder to do. What you suggest could take decades. A person lives through many experiences, tries everything, and eventually realizes that everything is illusory and fleeting, and only then begins to search for deeper paths within. But renouncing the external is so difficult for people. Few will dare to give up everything they have to gain something unknown.

Deep down, you know this. But you have forgotten it. You simply need to remember. I speak of those who are ready to give up the painted fireplace.

How did you achieve this? How were you able to give up everything? After all, you had much.

That’s precisely what made me give up everything. I had everything, but it didn’t bring joy to my soul. And I realized that it was all just painted fireplaces on a canvas.

You spoke about Jesus and Buddha within each person, about the path of wisdom and the path of love. What happens when Jesus and Buddha balance Love and Wisdom within themselves – when Jesus finds Buddha in himself, and Buddha finds Jesus?

They become one. They open up like the boundless ocean of consciousness, which already possesses all these qualities – wisdom and love.

So, to know wisdom in oneself, one had to become unwise? And to know love, one had to become unloving? Why so complicated?

So that the thirst for love and wisdom would outweigh the desire to turn away from them.

Where are the forces of Light leading us? Are they perhaps just leading us through a maze of illusions, showing us all its sights? Where will they ultimately take us?

At a certain stage, you will realize that this, too, is just painted fireplaces.

Are the forces of Light an illusion?

Everything that is not the boundless ocean of consciousness is an illusion, a painted fireplace. View these illusions as beacons on the path. You are moving toward your Divinity through the boundless ocean. And to avoid getting lost, to avoid wandering in circles, to find the right path to your Divinity, you need beacons in the night ocean that show you the shallows, reefs, and dangerous places. That’s what the forces you call the forces of Light are for.

And the forces of Darkness? Are they also beacons?

Yes, of course. They are, so to speak, anti-beacons, trials waiting for you on your path to attaining Divinity. And beacons for those who don’t want to return to their Divinity but prefer to wander the maze of illusions.

So the forces of Light aren’t leading us anywhere; they’re just training and pointing us in the right direction?

They point you in the right direction. But your path to your own Divinity is unique and unrepeatable, as unique as the journey of each drop in the ocean. It’s unique. And as many drops as there are in the ocean, there are that many paths to one’s own Divinity.

Does the Boundless Ocean of Consciousness consist only of the Oceans of Love and Wisdom, or are there other Oceans that we don’t yet know about?

The boundless ocean of consciousness contains everything. But love and wisdom are simply words that can approximately convey the nature of these energies. Because both love and wisdom have their own depth, love and wisdom are deep. So in the ocean of consciousness, there are all depths, that is, all deep qualities, including those that are unknown to you and even to me.

But you have submerged into the ocean of consciousness. Why are some of its qualities unknown to you?

Because becoming the ocean means having all the qualities within you, but not knowing about them.

I don’t understand.

The ocean is calm. It is stillness. In the depths of the ocean, of course, there are currents. But there is no external. There is only internal. And you can only know something by encountering it. But if you are the depth itself, with what or with whom can you interact? You are the depth. Unfathomable and eternal.

So, is the ocean of consciousness a kind of oblivion?

You could call it that. It’s an entirely new level of consciousness. Presence in everything and the absence of everything. Do you understand?

Vaguely. So, you are everything, but you don’t differentiate or identify anything within yourself.

You could put it that way. I don’t separate anything from myself, and I am not separate. Therefore, you could say that I do not exist, that I don’t exist as Buddha. But I exist as buddha. Do you catch that?

Do you mean that you, as the person Gautama Buddha, have dissolved, but the consciousness of the buddha remains within you?

You’re right. And that buddha consciousness is a completely different kind of consciousness than what Buddha had. It is broader and deeper. But there are no words to describe it.

And having found the path of wisdom, are you now searching for the path of love?

I seek nothing now. I simply am consciousness that Is.

Sorry for the silly question, but what does this give you? I mean, individual consciousness of separation allows one to experience many details of the illusory world in all its diversity, and many of those details are very attractive. But then we lose all of this and become nothing. What does that give us?

Depth. Power. Magnitude. Grandeur. I’ve found the word. It gives grandeur.

Why would I need grandeur?

You misunderstand this word in the context it’s said. Not grandeur as superiority over others, but grandeur as all-encompassing. You can only taste a limited number of flavors, let’s say. But can you take them all in at once?

If I take them all in at once, I won’t be able to distinguish one from another. It’s like some kind of cocktail.

Yes, but it will be a unique flavor you can’t even imagine. When you speak of bliss, it is the state of being connected to unity. When you embrace all possible sensations, experiences, states, and opportunities, it gives a special state of consciousness where you dwell in the bliss of your grandeur.

Are the oceans of Love and Wisdom, as I understand, not mixing together, but rather existing in the Ocean of Consciousness like layers of salinity in our world ocean?

No, not like that. In reality, it is the same ocean, not different currents within it. Different perspectives of the ocean, if you will. How can I explain it? You pour water into a green vessel, and it seems to take on a green color. Then you pour the same water into a blue vessel, and it becomes blue. Or another example: Light, refracting through the ocean’s depth, shines one color of the rainbow. But refracting differently, it shows another color of the rainbow.

But this means that someone has to illuminate this ocean. Are you talking about the light of Christ’s consciousness and the light of your own consciousness?

Yes. But ultimately, they are one and the same. Because both the light of Christ’s consciousness and the light of Buddha’s consciousness are one light of consciousness.

There is the light of consciousness and the ocean of consciousness. How do they relate?

The light of consciousness is a fragment of the ocean of consciousness, rising to the surface of the ocean and then returning to it.

Are there others, besides Jesus and Buddha, who have reached the Ocean of Consciousness?

Yes, of course. But to varying degrees of proximity. Many still wander in other, more complex labyrinths of illusion. Having left one illusion, they enter other worlds, which captivate and allure with their brightness.

Are you referring to Nirvana, the realm of high spirits?

Yes, because any world is an illusion, a painted hearth. Essentially, there is nothing that can be observed or contemplated.

Don’t you observe anything? Does God not contemplate anything?

Understand this: I simply am. It is consciousness of presence, nothing more.

Presence of whom? An observer?

All-encompassing presence. Presence of everything. Of the observer. Of the observed. Of the act of observation. And the absence of all of it. Of the observer. Of the observed. Of the observation.

This is hard to grasp. Theoretically, I understand, but somehow it doesn’t quite fit within me.

That’s because there is no emptiness within you, or very little of it.

No emptiness?

Yes. How can you take everything in if you have no space for it? When you are filled with various knowledge, paradigms, beliefs, criteria, and so on. Discard all of that and become emptiness.

It’s easy to say: «become emptiness’…

It’s actually not difficult. You just need to discard everything at once.

But how? Should I stop eating and drinking, stop interacting with people, talking, meeting with them, lock myself in a dark retreat and thus discard everything?

There are such methods. But if you are not ready for them from the start, all this will pass in vain. And will only revive your thirst to regain everything once again.

You talk about thirst. How can it be quenched? How can I understand that I no longer need any of this?

Become the water itself, and then you won’t need to drink it. You will already be it.

I understand, but all of this feels like beautiful words and ideas to ponder. How do I do it?

Simply by not doing.

Not doing?

When you strive for something, you always strive outside of yourself. Discard all striving. Just be.

But then it turns out that I will simply be an observer of everything.

Yes. At first. That’s how I started. First – as the observer of everything. But then I realized there is no distinction between the observer and the observed. That all of it is one. After all, everything happening around you is your reflection. Therefore, you and what is happening around you are one. The observer and the observed are one. You must become such that you do not cast any reflections.

Like clear glass, through which light passes without even refracting. You’ve been given this analogy many times. You are clear glass. And you have no preferences other than to reflect Divine light. But you don’t reflect it; you let it flow through you, without holding onto it, not even for a second. You give it all, and you receive it all. And then you will see how life, like light, flows through you. But at the same time, you express no relation to this flow. In this way, you accept everything that flows through you. And then you come to the remarkable conclusion that to observe anything, there is no need to look outward. You can look within yourself. Because both outside and inside you, there is simply the dazzling Divine Light, which flows through you without refracting. Moreover, you will understand that if you become a pure prism, allowing the Divine flow of Light, the true purity of the Light is inside you. Because you do not refract it. And it’s easier for you to find and observe everything within yourself, for He is always near and always within you.

And then you withdraw from the external. From external reflections. You no longer care whether you reflect the light or not. You no longer care about anything, but simply immerse yourself in this Light, passing through you, and you become the Light itself. At first, you simply continue to observe the flashes of consciousness, the sparks and shimmering of this light within you. But then this Light expands within you, grows, and gradually fills all of your empty consciousness. And you become it. More precisely, you were always it; you just hadn’t accepted it in its original purity and power until now. And now – you’ve accepted it.

And then you stop interacting with the illusion around you. And it dissolves around and within you. You simply exist as an ocean of consciousness.

Many yogis describe such practices. Immersions within and observing the world of energies. I will become an ocean of light, and what will happen to me then?

Nothing. You will eternally remain the ocean of Light. And nothing will happen to you. You will eternally flow like an ocean of Light within yourself, shimmer, and someone will observe your shimmer. Among those who have not yet left the labyrinth of illusions.

So, it turns out that all my questions are in vain. Because knowledge is also an illusion?

You are simply returning to your Divinity by stepping away from your true self. And you are already on the path to yourself.

I thank you for the opportunity to know myself. And for the lesson.

I dwell within you. You dwell within me. We are one. And you are me, discovering the buddha within yourself.

Lesson 4. The Thirst for Perfection

Hello, Buddha. Speak with me.

I am with you.

After our conversations, people started sending questions for you. Will you answer?

Of course, if you ask, I will answer. I too was once like that and went through this stage of learning. I had many questions and doubts about the perfection of the world. Therefore, I will answer.

How did Buddha’s relationship with his Spiritual Family transform after his immersion in the Ocean of Consciousness?

What do you call a spiritual family?

Probably those entities that assist a person in their development. We are told that each of us has our own star family, a civilization from which we came, teachers and mentors, our higher aspects. Together, they form the collective Higher Beings that help us on our path.

All of this is just words and conventions. There is no separation. It is all just games, albeit of a high level. But now I am beyond the game. What you are talking about is separation: there is you, and there is someone else. But there is no one but you! You are alone. And that’s it. You are merely talking about your own roles in the game with yourself. Top masks. By removing all the masks, you become yourself and no longer play games. They will become uninteresting to you.

A child plays games because that’s how they learn about the world. An adult, having played enough games, no longer does so. You were told about a girl playing with dolls. The girl sincerely believes that the dolls can talk and move. But an adult sees that they are just dolls, and the comedies and tragedies played out become uninteresting to them. Because there is real, genuine adult life.

So you want to say that with enlightenment, you matured and exited the game? And now you guide the game?

Why would I guide a game with dolls? I simply exist. I just observe how others play with dolls with complete abandon.

But what is the meaning of such existence? I mean, there is always some meaning in human life. Initially, there is a drive for certain acquisitions, certain relationships. Hence the drive for spiritual growth and new levels of perception. But you have none of this, and you do not strive for anything. What is the meaning of such existence?

It has no meaning.

No meaning?!

Yes, because meaning is a thought, a formed desire, as thought always strives for something. Even the thought, «I want nothing,» is a desire for a state of non-wanting, but not the state itself. I exist without meaning and without desires.

But now, when you speak with me, you do have thoughts, right? For example, answers to my questions.

Yes. But this is already a completely different level of thinking, which is not even thinking. The process can be compared to ripples on the surface of the ocean when a light breeze touches the smooth water. It is the breeze itself. And the ripples on the ocean are our conversation. But the gentle ripples on the ocean’s surface cannot disturb its calmness.

So this is a kind of meaningless existence, without goals and desires. So why does everyone strive for it?

Because it is the culmination of all desires. No matter where you strive, essentially, you are always striving for enlightenment, always striving towards that ocean of consciousness, whether consciously or unconsciously. This desire is inherently embedded in your essence, in the depth of your being. Because you are that ocean of consciousness, only temporarily having forgotten about it. However, some internal hunger, a sense of internal discomfort in your world, even with all imaginable comfortable external conditions, does not give anyone peace. You may sometimes forget about it, engrossed in one illusion or another. But this magnet is always alive in you and is inexhaustible. Therefore, no matter where you strive, you are actually striving to return to your origin. It’s like a stretched rubber band: the more you stretch it, the stronger the desire to return, and the harder it is to stretch further.

So in this state, there is nothing attractive; it is simply an automatic drive to return, so to speak, a return force. And no one can avoid this return, even if they don’t want to?

You cannot not want it. Because you are the point of return. You may want something that does not belong to you. But as soon as it becomes yours, you want it less and less because you find it within yourself. And in this case, how can you not want what you actually are? If the attractiveness lies in being yourself?

I don’t know. Maybe. But that’s if I consider myself perfect, then I want to be myself. But what if a person has some inferiority complexes? When they are constantly trying to portray someone more complete?

The point is, you are truly complete and perfect. You have everything. Including all the roles you have ever played. All roles. Do you understand? Even the roles played not only by you but by everyone who played them! And all of them are in you. And there is no one before whom you could appear incomplete or imperfect. There is only you.

Attractiveness exists when there is choice. When there are differences. But what can you choose when you are nothing?

Nothing? Didn’t you previously say that we become everything?

It’s the same thing.

I don’t understand.

Well, maybe it will be clearer if we use mathematics. Minus one and plus one together equal zero. Why?

Why?

Because in their combination, there are no differences. Minus one is different from zero, and plus one is different from zero and minus one. But zero is the complete absence of differences. At the same time, zero itself is a point of comparison, a reference point, relative to which a unit and minus one can always arise. Zero itself includes both minus one and plus one, as it resulted from their addition. But zero itself is nothing. Neither this nor that. But everything together.

I didn’t think you were a mathematician.

I am just searching for a clear analogy in your mind.

Becoming nothing. That frightens many.

Why?

Didn’t it frighten you before enlightenment?

No, it didn’t frighten me. Because that very magnet within me became so strong, the «rubber band» stretched so much, that it no longer frightened me; there was only a thirst to return to my whole self, to My True Self. When each of you reaches such a state where return is inevitable and the rubber band is stretched to its limit, then it will stop frightening you.

You see, the thing is, the world around us, with all its imperfections, is so familiar and stable. And what awaits you upon returning to the ocean of consciousness is so unknown… The unknown always frightens.

The unknown is the best thing that can be.

Why?

Because the unknown is a vast space of possibilities, an absence of limitations. It is complete freedom. Stepping into the unknown means freeing yourself from the chains that bind you: fears, attachments, debts, obligations… Complete, absolute freedom from everything.

Well, then. What frightens people is the loss of their identity, with which they identify themselves. It’s hard for us to understand. There is me with my characteristics, aspirations, and, most importantly, my memories of myself. And suddenly, all of this might disappear! It’s like losing your memory. I love someone. But suddenly I might not even recognize this person?

You will recognize everyone and love everyone. It’s a matter of your concept of «I.» It does not exist.

It doesn’t exist?

Yes. Because the «I» is separation. When there is «I» and «not-I.» Thus, the «I» is different from others.

But each drop of the ocean is like another. In essence, there are no such drops. There is just the ocean. The ocean of consciousness.

What is the Ocean of Consciousness? Is there something above it in terms of levels?

It’s difficult to define the undefinable. The very definition already implies separation. When there is difference, and each has its characteristics distinct from the other, it is defined in a specific way. The Ocean of Consciousness is a self-aware, infinite, and eternal substance that encompasses all possible potentials of awareness. But even the word «substance» is incorrect, and all definitions will be very approximate. Because the very word «definition» implies a limit to something. And the ocean of consciousness is limitless. And each of you is limitless just like this ocean of consciousness.

You often emphasize the word «absolute.» So, have you become the Absolute?

I have become the self-aware Absolute. I and He are one. I am Him.

And is He you?

No, not quite. I am Him. But He is even broader than I am.

But you are limitless.

Yes. But His limitlessness is more powerful.

I don’t understand. Is there a gradation of limitlessness?

Rather, it is the depth of limitlessness. You have been told about this.

Yes, I remember. Our Absolute is on the path of self-discovery through separation. And His ABSOLUTE is on the path of self-discovery through deepening into SELF. But actually, there is the Manifest Absolute and the Unmanifest Absolute. So, does that mean you are the Manifest Absolute?

Yes, I am the manifest part of the Manifest Absolute.

You are still a part? What about limitlessness?

It’s again a play on words. I am what you have been told about. At once both a part and the whole. And this is the only difference from Him, because He is simply the whole.

I was told that the goal of the experiment was to become a divine part of the whole and acquire all the qualities of the whole while still being a part. So, you have completed this path and demonstrated that it is possible?

Nothing is impossible. I have completed this path, and each of you will complete it too. But you will do it in your own way. When the fatigue from the game of illusions sets in. When the thirst for perfection becomes unbearable, you will return to your wholeness.

So, there is no point in trying if there is no thirst for perfection? Because it won’t work anyway?

If you have pondered this, then your thirst has already made itself known. And now, with each passing day, it will remind you more strongly. And until you quench this thirst, you will not find peace. You will not be able to be happy in imperfection, knowing that ahead of you lies your perfection.

What is perfection?

When you have everything. And there is nothing more to desire. All desires arise from the lack of something. So you desire something and achieve it. But upon achieving it, you desire the next thing that you don’t yet have. But if you have everything, then you have nothing more to desire. You asked about attractiveness. Remember the joy of achieving what you wanted. Can you imagine the joy of having everything? Everything you wished for and could wish for? Everything. Can you imagine the ecstasy of the perfection of perception?

I am usually told about the perfection of being.

It’s the same. Being is perception.

So, are you saying that achieving the state of the ocean of consciousness is the ecstasy of freedom and having everything?

Yes. That’s right.

But ecstasy implies a peak. And that means a decline will follow.

No. You will continuously be in this ecstatic state of perception, and in it, there can be no declines or anything unpleasant, because everything within you is perfect.

So, it turns out that there is nothing to do in general. Since the thirst has awakened in me, is the rest just a matter of time? Sooner or later, it will become critical, and I will be thrown back to my wholeness, like a stretched and released rubber band?

Yes. It is a natural and inevitable process. It is both your and my essence, from which there is no escape because you already are it. But this period can stretch over many lifetimes or decades of your life. So it’s up to you: to act or not to act. Whether you can continue to endure the thirst and not drink from the ocean of perfection.

It reminds me of a fairy tale about a person drinking from the ocean of oblivion.

Yes, it echoes the described process. The Ocean of Consciousness can also be called the Ocean of Oblivion. Oblivion of partiality, dissolution of boundaries and conditions. You suffer from thirst, and then, finally, unable to endure, you dive into the ocean and begin to drink the water of perfection and forget your thirst. Because you become that ocean: its waters dissolve your boundaries, and you become the «sea foam.»

Yes. It’s a poetic fairy tale. A fairy tale about how the Little Mermaid became nothing for the sake of love.

No. It’s a fairy tale about how, through love, the Little Mermaid became everything.

You are also a poet.

I have been observing for many centuries.

Where is love in the concept you described? Jesus showed the way of love. We are told that you showed the way of wisdom. And love?

The ocean of consciousness itself is love. And what drives you is only love. That very thirst is love; it is likeness. A fragment of love strives to return to the ocean of love, to its likeness. My difference from Jesus is that Jesus drew all seekers into his current, into his striving. He would give a push to each person’s thirst, becoming the channel of a stream into which anyone could be drawn to the ocean of consciousness. He allowed everyone to experience his thirst. He showed how to become that thirst and that love. I, on the other hand, walked the path of my thirst alone.

But you had disciples, didn’t you? What happened to them? Did they ascend?

Very few did. And not immediately.

What were the obstacles faced by the disciples of Buddha who did not reach the Ocean of Consciousness? What obstacles should those who embark on the path of enlightenment beware of?

There were many obstacles for the disciples. The greatest one is the fear of separation, the fear of losing everything. Obstacles exist when you are separate. There is you, and there is the goal you need to achieve, and there are also obstacles on the way to achieving it. In other words, there are boundaries that need to be overcome. But if there are no boundaries, there is nothing to overcome! And there are no obstacles.

So it turns out that the more a person separates from their wholeness, the stronger their thirst for return becomes, but at the same time, the greater the fear, because with further separation, the fear grows. It creates a kind of vicious circle. Returning through the fear of separation is impossible. But the separation itself creates fears. How can this be overcome?

Believe. Believe that there is no separation. That all divisions are conditional and are merely a game.

But that is the most difficult thing. How to do it?

By contemplating the essence of things. Find the essence in every thing, every phenomenon, every event, every person. What unites them with you. It’s not about understanding. Although many of you are on that path. You need to grasp that energy of unity, the energy of likeness. Find your part, your essence in each, and simply merge with that likeness. Sooner or later, the boundaries will disappear, and you will realize your unity with the whole world.

Does each person have a completely unique illusion, or are there some common elements for all of humanity? The question is not trivial, as the illusion of society causes me strong irritation and rejection due to its primitiveness and sometimes outright foolishness, which starkly contrasts with the beauty and wisdom of Mother Nature. So, if the society I observe is exclusively my illusion, then it should correspond to me and my level of perception, meaning it shouldn’t irritate me. Yet, it does?

There is nothing personal or impersonal. By dividing, you will never attain wholeness. Everything around you is you and your reflection. It can be compared to standing in front of a mirror and making faces, some of which you dislike.

Until you realize that all these are just your own faces, you will not understand wholeness. The question is only about stopping making faces and seeing your true self in the mirror.

Why, having attained enlightenment, did Buddha not ascend to higher dimensions but continued to remain in the three-dimensional world?

Because an enlightened being is equally at ease in any world, in any density. And the three-dimensional world offers its own perspective on all existence.

And because an enlightened being has no rush, no goals. Everything is the perfection of being, including the three-dimensional world. You simply become a witness. And essentially, it doesn’t matter what or how you witness, since you can witness only one thing. What difference does it make from which side you view infinity? Moreover, infinity has no sides. It is present in everything and always. It exists even in the three-dimensional world.

And all these levels are also conditionalities that no longer affect the enlightened being. For they themselves become infinity and boundlessness.

No matter how or where you witness infinity, you are still witnessing one thing – infinity. This is not tautology. There is nothing but your infinite self. Therefore, there is no difference in how you witness yourself.

The division into levels is only in your minds. In reality, it does not exist.

Doesn’t it exist? But we hear so much about the 4th dimension and other dimensions.

Dimensions are simply your steps on the path to infinity, and how many there will be – no one can predict. Perhaps there will be only one step. Or maybe a thousand. Thus, it’s possible that there will be one dimension. Or maybe a thousand.

How to contemplate the essence of things?

By penetrating into them with consciousness. Penetrate through boundaries and immerse yourself in them just as you immerse yourself in yourself.

Who were his spiritual guides on the subtle plane, explaining to him how to reach the Ocean of Consciousness?

That too is division. Because there is no one but Me. Or you. So I was my own guide. It’s like déjà vu. When you suddenly begin to remember something you didn’t know before as if it were your own memories. Memories of your wholeness.

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