Richard Stepanov
The Unlikely Path

The whole story

Introduction

Who am I?

Good question, I suppose that I am an average guy, getting on in years now, nobody special, I’m 73 years old, overweight, greying but still full of life and still ready for new ideas and opportunities, I have been happily married twice, I have two happily married sons, and two wonderful, blue eyed, blonde grandsons, I didn’t do well at school, I could have done better but I didn’t want to at the time, looking back, I have no regrets and a lot of experience now, in many different things.

I found myself in a difficult situation and decided that it was time to change, so I did, and now I feel that I have learnt many lessons, some of which I feel, deserve telling, so that others may benefit. I decided that I would do something that had never occurred to me before and that was to write my story, not from the beginning but from the point where everything changed, and I mean everything from an old ordinary life to a brand-new life, one that I would never have dreamed of in a million years!

So, here goes!

The Mystery of Unusual Opportunities

Life and Loves of an Ordinary Guy (Part 2)

This is not an ordinary auto-biography, it is story about a dramatic change in the life of a far from extraordinary man and what happened to him in a little over a decade of his life, a life that has some way to go yet!

Some would say that it was a series of coincidences but others, including me, sincerely believe that God had a lot to do with it!

Chapter 1

I was not HAPPY! I was sitting on the bunk in my truck in a car park on an industrial estate on the outskirts of Stafford, not far from the M6 motorway on New Year’s Eve 2009!

What had started out looking like an easy day had turned into a nightmare! I’d turned up for work to drive my truck, early in the morning of 31st December, at our large depot warehouse in Haverhill, the dispatcher had given me a straight run, drive a large chilled load of fruit juice and yoghurt from the local depot up to a logistics centre in Newcastle, unload, call in at the company’s regional distribution centre there and bring a load of dairy produce back home in good time to get home and celebrate the New Year of 2010.

I had got up early as usual that Thursday, 31st December 2009 and was looking forward to the celebrations that night with my wife and family, I was feeling quite cheerful, my start time was 04.30 am. so I’d set my alarm for 02.00, enough time to shower, grab a bite and hit the back roads to the depot, I really enjoyed the back roads, I could have some fun on the twisty lanes through the quiet sleepy villages without worrying about any traffic, there was never anyone about, nevertheless I still needed to be careful, you never know what might be round the next bend! But it meant I could drive a little more aggressively than during the day, I liked to test myself on the twisty roads and often liked to try and beat my fastest time from home to work.

This morning I’d managed to beat it with a minute to spare, impressive, “it’s going to be a good day!” I thought to myself. My old car was nothing special but I was pretty good at getting the best out of any vehicle, I could drive and enjoy just about anything, I didn’t much care for flashy cars, they attracted to much attention, I enjoyed getting the better of other drivers with the skills I had learnt, in cars that didn’t look fast.

So, I was clearly in a good mood when I arrived at the desk of the dispatcher, exchanged a little banter, chatted with one or two of the drivers who were also in that morning, then took the keys to a truck and headed for the yard to do my daily checks on the truck. I was unusually thorough this morning, I felt on top of the world, paid extra care and even ran the truck through the wash so it was looking good, I parked up and ran upstairs to get my paperwork and the trailer number.

Sandra, the dispatcher, told me to hang on for a couple of minutes while she retrieved the delivery documents from the printer on the other side of the office, when she came back, she told me that there had been an alteration in the route that day, instead of calling in at our regional depot after my delivery, I was to pick up a load from a small dairy in Yorkshire, somewhere on the moors. I thought, “no problem” it was only a small diversion on the way back anyway so wouldn’t delay me much and I would still be back home in time and would have the chance for a quick nap and be ready to celebrate later, I had only once ever missed seeing in the New Year, just the one time when I was much younger and didn’t have much money, when I had to work on New Year’s Eve driving taxis, to put food on the table, and promised myself I’d never to do it again!

I thanked Sandra, wished her a good day and gathered up the paperwork and went downstairs and out to the yard in search of the trailer.

It didn’t take long to find it and do the safety checks and connect up to the trailer and join the queue of trucks waiting to exit at the security gate, before long I arrived at the gate, I hopped out and went to the window, Clive was on that day and we had a laugh and joke while he sealed up the trailer. I climbed back into the cab, waited for the barrier to rise and set off with a couple of blasts on the horn and headed for the main road leading towards the motorway to head north.

I dearly loved that time in the morning, it was a Thursday morning but well before the heavy traffic of the rush hour and the roads were pretty empty, just one or two cars heading to work and the odd truck already on the way to distant destinations, there was a slight mist sitting on the fields but the sun was trying to poke through, the air was fresh and there was wildlife everywhere, even deer grazing on the side of the road!

The drive up north was fairly uneventful, I listened to the radio a bit, discovered half-way up the motorway that it had snowed locally but the motorway was clear so I arrived at the warehouse complex well in time for my delivery slot, there was a little bit of a wait before I was given a bay to unload but not long enough to worry about, I had plenty of time in hand. The unloading was quick and I soon got the green light to pull off the bay and was able to park up for my legal break before I could set off back down the motorway for my Dairy pick up.

The Dairy wasn’t difficult to find, I had soon found the exit off the motorway and headed along the ‘B’ road out onto the Yorkshire moors, there had been an overnight snowfall in the area and the roads were a little bit icy and tricky, the motorway was fine but the moorland roads were higher up and exposed and there had been drifting snow so it was slower going as the local authorities had not been out yet with the gritters and the snow ploughs, the countryside looked wonderful with its covering of fresh snow but the road turned out to be not too bad and at last the dairy came into sight.

It was here that the day started to turn sour and I began to suspect that somebody had something against me, my good mood took a jolt, things were taking a turn for the worst, as soon as I arrived the clerk told me that my load wasn’t ready and it would be at least a couple of hours before they could load. “Crap” I thought, “nothing much I can do about that”, so I decided the best thing to do was to have a nap on the bunk bed in the cab, you grab sleep wherever and whenever you can, I had become rather an expert in that skill.

Sometime later, not sure how long, my sleep was disturbed, I felt the cab move, they had started to load the trailer, great! I’ll soon be on my way! And sure enough, about 45 minutes later there was a knock on the cab door, one of the loaders was there, holding my paperwork in his gloved hand, I thanked him, relieved that at last I could get moving again.

I climbed down and walked into the warehouse and round to the back of the trailer to check that the stock was loaded safely, all seemed to be in order so I returned, got back in and moved the truck forward a couple of metres so I could go and shut the trailer doors and then waited while the loader put seals on the trailer doors.

I climbed back into the cab and sat behind the wheel and started to read through the delivery notes, I swore loudly! It was then that I got the first real shock of the day, this load wasn’t for my Home Depot, it was for the main warehouse at our head Office Depot on the outskirts of Stafford, on the other side of the country! I grabbed the radio phone in the cab and called up my home dispatcher, they had changed shifts and it was Ken that answered, I said, “What’s going on Ken?” and told him the story, “What’s shall I do, I’m supposed to be at home tonight, can you find out what’s happened? Ken said, “Give me a minute, I’ll find out from Andy”.

Ken put me on hold while he went to find the duty manager, after a couple of minutes, Andy, the duty manager came on the line, “I’m sorry Stuart” he said, “I’m afraid that there has been a big mix-up, someone else has taken your load by mistake and left the other one! I’m afraid that there is nothing I can do, I can’t authorise you to come back empty, so I’m sorry, you are going to have to take it, and it looks very much like you are going to have a night out”. I swore under my breath but said “Ok, I know it’s not your fault, just a pity that’s all!” it was absolutely the last thing I wanted to hear today, of all days! I would have to negotiate a tricky road over the Yorkshire moors, which could be blocked anywhere on the way with snow, then the long drag down the motorway to Stafford, Andy was right about the night out, I won’t have enough driver’s hours to make it back home, I’ll have plenty enough to reach the Stafford Depot but certainly not enough to go anywhere else, so I was looking at seeing the New Year in from my cab in the depot car park! Lovely!

Chapter 2

I spent a miserable and very lonely New Year’s Eve that year, I’d made it, just! driving my truck across the moors, it was very slippery and there were several stretches of road that were covered with deep snow. It was tricky and I took many chances but carried on steadily and carefully, doing nothing suddenly, expecting, any minute, to slide off the road and be brought to a grinding halt and have to dig my way out of trouble, there were a few occasions when my truck started to slide but fortunately didn’t slide too far and I managed to get carefully back on the road again.

Finally, I reached civilization again, there were street lights in the distance and I soon found myself on the outskirts of a small village and the roads got easier, after that it was relatively plain sailing, I came to a town that I knew was on the edge of the M6, the roads had been cleared and I soon turned onto the approach road for the motorway down towards Stafford.

Thank God, the motorway was almost empty, people had left work early and although it was early evening there were none of the usual traffic hold-ups that you usually find on that stretch of the M6 and finally, after several miles, I peeled off the motorway into the outskirts of the city and threaded my way through the industrial area until I reached the company’s distribution centre.

I checked in my paperwork at the security gatehouse, after a couple of minutes they gave me a bay number and I drove through the gates and backed onto the bay, after opening the trailer doors, I jumped out, wound the trailer wheels down and unhitched my truck and headed for the ‘lorry park’, they call it a lorry park but really it was the company car park with a section reserved for tractor units. I parked mine in a convenient space away from the busy end, so that I wouldn’t be disturbed that night while sleeping, I was pretty tired by now and in some way relieved that my day was just about over, I wasn’t really happy with where I was but that’s life!

I then headed into the warehouse and up to the office, handed in my delivery notes and told them I was having to night out, the dispatcher nodded then asked me what time I would be back on duty and what vehicle I was driving and wished me a good night! He would organise, hopefully a trip for the morning that would get me back home, no guarantee but he would do his best, I thanked him then walked through the warehouse towards the canteen because it suddenly dawned on me that I was dying of thirst and my stomach was rumbling and crying out for food.

My Thermos of coffee had died hours ago and it tasted like mud and my last sandwich was stuck to the bottom of my lunch box grinning evilly at me and did not look very inviting. So, I headed for the counter and ordered, then made an easy job of clearing a large plate of food and two mugs of coffee. After reading the day's paper, that was lying on a pile of magazines and books and chatting to couple of other drivers who were in the same boat, so to speak, I made my way back to the truck feeling much more human and a touch revived after food, I called in to the rest room on the way back to the truck and had a wash and brush up!

I then felt a little bit more like calling home to my wife, I had called earlier that day to tell her my bad news, that I wouldn’t be home, she’d been a bit upset, probably more upset than I was, it was a close thing but she knew that it couldn’t be helped! So, I steeled myself and dialled the number and wished her Happy New Year and asked her how she was feeling but it was a very strained and difficult conversation, she’d been drinking again and wasn’t very coherent, I did my best to cheer her up but it wasn’t easy! My wife had been ill for a long time, many years, it was alcoholism mixed with clinical depression, with very little hope of getting better and I hated to leave her alone, especially as it was New Year, and she had been in tears, she had sworn at me and sounded very depressed. It was a very bad start to 2010 and unbeknownst to me at that time, it was soon to get a lot worse!

Anyway, next morning arrived, I didn’t get much sleep because of stress and worrying, but they found me a load, not to my Home Depot but to a supermarket close enough to home, it went OK but I was far from cheerful and very relieved to finally get back to the depot, sort things out with the truck and park it up. Then I headed upstairs, Andy, the manager was there, he tried to apologise but really it wasn’t his fault and I couldn’t blame him. I grabbed a cup of coffee from the machine and went back to the desk where Sandra debriefed me and then made my way down to my car, climbed wearily in and drove home in a much more subdued mood than I had been the day before when I had driven to work!

The next couple of weeks flew by, my wife had been very distant to me when I got home and we hadn’t talked much, work was just the normal five days on and three days off which suited me fine, no more nights out, which also suited me, I could have three days off with my wife and could get things done on these days off because they were not always Saturday and Sunday when offices were closed, I had free days during the week if I needed, to see someone important or get my wife to the doctors or the local clinic if she needed to go!

Chapter 3

On about the 10th January 2010 my wife Leslie became ill with some sort of stomach bug and was very sick for a couple of days, she couldn’t face food and was certainly not drinking enough, she was getting very dehydrated, I began to be very worried and I called the doctor out to see her a few times but the doctor kept on saying that there was not much he could do and said to keep her as hydrated as possible and try and get her to eat a little plain food. On the third and fourth days she seemed to recover a little and started to eat just a little bit but on the fifth day she was much worse in the morning, vomiting and crying out with pain and by the middle of the evening she was suffering with terrible pains in her stomach and it got slowly worse until I told her I was going to call an ambulance, Leslie was not convinced, and said no but the pain was getting worse and, in the end, she agreed to let me call.

They came fairly quickly, must have been all of 10 minutes, it was late at night so maybe things were a little quiet in the city, I let them in and showed them the way up to the bedroom, where they started to examine her straight away, blood pressure, pulse and many more tests, after a short time they told me that it would be best to get her to the Hospital and they told her that they would look after her, it seemed as though she was relieved at last to hear that and she relaxed a little, I quickly agreed and they started to prepare her for transfer, she was lifted carefully into a chair like contraption so they could carry her downstairs then suddenly one of them said, “her heart as stopped!” there was a flurry of activity and it all seemed like a bad dream, they managed to start her heart again and got her to the ambulance.

I locked up and turned the lights off, phoned her sister and my youngest son and set off for the hospital as quick as I could.

When I arrived at the hospital, my wife had already been taken in to the operating theatre and I was shown into a quiet waiting room, soon after my sister-in-law, her husband and daughter arrived and just after my youngest son Kevin and his wife. My eldest son, Philip, lived and worked in the US, I sent him a message and asked him to phone when he could, as his Mum was in hospital! We all sat there, not quite knowing what to do, we talked, trying to look on the bright side, the smokers among us went outside frequently, it was difficult to sit and wait not knowing what was going on, the time dragged but seemed to pass unnoticed and I have no real recollection of how long we were there, it all seems like a very bad dream now!

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity one of the doctors made an appearance, from the look on his face it wasn’t good news! He broke it to us as gently as he could but it was still much more shocking than we expected, we found out that Leslie’s heart had stopped again on the way to the hospital, they had managed again to restart it, but when they finally got to the hospital it had stopped again in the operating theatre and try as they might they couldn’t start it again, she was in a weakened state from her illness, her heart had suffered from the alcohol and cigarettes and it just gave up the fight.

I was devastated, it was difficult to understand what had happened, she had a stomach bug, that was all, how did that kill her? I had been used to her being ill, it had been going on for many years now but didn’t expect this, it was a huge shock to my system, I couldn’t think, I was smoking non-stop, I felt as though I needed a stiff drink but that was out of the question, my wife’s alcoholism had put me right off drinking, I couldn’t sit still and the strangest thing of all was that I felt dead inside, I couldn’t even cry! It was the worst day of my life by far.

I was so grateful for my family and friends, they gathered round me, they shepherded me home, they surrounded me with love and support, kept asking me who to call, who to contact, what could they do for me and without them I have no idea how I would have got through those first few days, there were lots of tears, none from me, but I oh so slowly I began to function again but only just!

I felt as though I was in a dream, nothing felt real, I couldn’t bring myself to organise anything in the house, there was a lot to do but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, I managed to take our dogs for a walk, I had to, they needed the exercise, but so did I, it was a little bit of a relief to get out of the house and a little fresh air in my lungs, I had been smoking non-stop since it happened and my throat felt like an old chimney. And the woods and the fields around the village where we lived allowed me the time to think and come to terms with what had happened. Slowly, slowly, I began to be able to do things and gradually I started to feel as though I could function again.

My friends were great and my boss and his management staff at the logistics company where I worked was very supportive, they didn’t allow me to feel sorry for myself, my boss, especially, was very sympathetic and helpful and told me not to worry, to take my time and not to come back to work until I was ready, the job would still be there, that was very reassuring.

I got on well at work and was liked by most of the drivers and staff, there were one or two that seemed a little unsociable but that is just life, I tried to treat everyone with respect and kindness, I had always had a good work ethic, whoever I worked for, I gained a lot of respect and many good friends and they helped me lot in my time of need.

I began to heal and to smile a little again. Walking the dogs turned out to very therapeutic along with the lovely countryside around where we lived but unfortunately these feelings were not to last for long!

Chapter 4

I suddenly found that I was all alone and I didn’t like it! I felt that before all this happened, I was quite alright with this life, OK it wasn’t ideal but it was, I thought, doable, even though it was just work, sleep and eat and of course keeping my wife safe with a roof over our heads and enough money to survive but our relationship was not what it had been, we had begun to drift apart, mainly because of her mental illness and the drinking but that was OK, I had made a promise when I married, ‘for better or for worse, richer or poorer!’. Now everything had changed and it was very unfamiliar and uncomfortable and I didn’t know quite what to make of it, I didn’t know what to do next.

There was another event that sort of took my mind of these immediate problems and that was the funeral, my wife wasn’t religious and wouldn’t have liked a priest to be present so I set about finding an alternative and by chance found a so-called humanist minister to officiate. I had found that I could buy a plot in the village cemetery, it was beautiful there and very peaceful, I had decided against cremation because I thought about joining her there when I passed.

Everything was arranged and many of our friends and family had said they were coming, and my eldest son had made it over from the states; I had decided to speak a Eulogy over the grave. Easier said than done, it took me some time to put together what I wanted to say but finally I settled on what I wanted to say. On the day I was extremely nervous but found the strength to step forward and deliver my thoughts, probably the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in public and I nearly didn’t make it to the end because the tears finally caught up with me.

We’d arranged to meet after, in the hall behind the pub and when I walked in someone put a pint of beer in my hand and after a few gulps I felt much better, everyone was great and I chatted with everyone and it revived me in a way I can’t describe but it was exactly what I needed.

I wasn’t quite alone at home, our two dogs and two cats were still there but that had produced a further problem, I couldn’t really go back to work as a trucker and leave my dogs at home with no-one to look after them, I couldn’t guarantee that I was going to make it home every day so who was going to feed them if I didn’t? There were quite a few of these basic problems but I couldn’t quite get my head to resolve them, I was still wandering around the house, not quite knowing what to do and on top of that I still couldn’t face going back to work and I couldn’t face the problems!

This went on for about three weeks and then suddenly, like a switch being flicked, I knew exactly what I was going to do, things had to change and I needed to get back to work if I was going to keep my sanity, so I started to formulate a plan.

I had gradually been sinking into a lethargic stupor and nothing was getting done at home. I had been worrying what to do about my dogs, they were getting old, ten years and very grey, so if I couldn’t look after them who would, I didn’t want to separate them because they were very close, I couldn’t lump them on someone else at their age because soon they would cost a fortune in vet bills to keep them going, the only other option was to put them down, this was an awful thing to think of, they were like family, my kids!

On the other hand, they had had a good life with lots of love and the future was nothing but change and maybe illness and that thought finally made my mind up and with a heavy heart I contacted a local vet who was willing to help.

It was a very sad day, the sky was dull and threatened rain, I was very close to losing my nerve but I had to resolve things myself from now on and I was convinced that this was the right thing to do and to have no regrets. Then another friend suddenly contacted me and asked where I had got our two cats, I asked why and he said that his girlfriend’s children dearly wanted a cat, so, I suggested to him that I had two, and that they needed a good home to go to, because I couldn’t really look after them any longer, and I asked him if they would be interested, he said he would get back to me! Two days later I had a visit from him, his girlfriend and the kids, they instantly fell in love with the cats and off they went, problem solved, they were spoiled rotten, bless them.

Finally, I felt that I was mostly in control again and rang my boss! I was ready to re-join the human race!

They were great at work, everyone was supportive, nobody overdid it and working was the best therapy and on top of that I didn’t have the same worries any more about home so I put my back into work and finally came alive again.

There was still one very tricky little problem, I was alone, going home at the end of a shift felt strange and lonely, it was a big house with four bedrooms and only me! No-one to talk to, I managed to go over and visit my sister-in-law on odd occasions to talk, watch TV, smoke, eat and generally hang out but I still missed company and needed more.

My sons had their own lives and families and friends, the rest of my family was scattered around the country and had their own lives and friends and I desperately needed someone to talk to!

I wasn’t the sort of person to frequent bars or night clubs; I had my friends at work but they were work mates and mostly married anyway and the conversation was different. I needed someone to share my inner thoughts with.

Someone suggested dating sites but I wasn’t looking for a permanent partner, just someone to talk to, I was a bit dubious but decided that I really had nothing to lose so I tried a few different ones, they were worse than useless, there were some answers but the ones that I liked didn’t want to know and the ones that were interested in me, good God, no way! no result! Tried a few more, still the same result, I found one nice girl and arranged to meet but it was called off at the last moment, back to square one!

It was about that time when things took a turn for the worst.

As if losing my wife and giving up my beloved dogs and my two cats, all within a few weeks, would be enough for most people, there was more to come.

My Dad had been ill for many years but had always made light of it, he used to say that there were people far worse off than he and he wasn’t done yet, he was always the optimist and made friends and spread laughter wherever he went.

His health though was not good, he had a weak heart, they had fitted a pacemaker only last year, he suffered from gout, he also suffered from Asthma and his bedside cabinet was like a chemist’s shop. On top of that he had a condition called Diverticulitis and it was causing concern, in fact he had been in recently and the doctors had said that he could do with an operation to sort it out, now the operation wasn’t serious and usually successful but Dad’s heart was a problem and they weren’t sure whether he could survive the anaesthetic, so they said that they wouldn’t do anything at present but they would keep an eye on it to make sure that it didn’t become more serious.

It was the first of March when news came to me, my father had been taken into hospital, he’d been steadily losing weight for more than a year, he’d lost his appetite, unusual for him as he always loved his food and it was now causing my Mum and the doctors some concern and had reached a stage where something had to be done, they had him in, put him through all the tests and then presented him with the worst of all choices, he could have the operation but there was no guarantee that he could survive the anaesthesia, the operation was simple and if successful would give him a new lease of life, the alternative was equally difficult, if he didn’t have the operation there was little chance he would see the summer!

Dad, being dad, said, ‘what have I got to lose? operate! at least that gives me almost a 50/50 chance’

So, they scheduled him to have the operation in a couple of days, meanwhile I had managed to get some time off from work and had travelled down from Cambridge to Redhill in Surrey, where the hospital was, I visited every day to see him and to reassure my Mum and sister who lived not far away in Horsham.

5th March, a Friday, the day of the operation, we were all there at the hospital to see him that morning, everyone was trying to be cheerful and we were all cracking jokes and laughing at Dad as he continued to flirt and chat up the nurses, he loved to do that and made them laugh, he always liked to try and gently insult people, pull their legs and hope that they would insult him back, his motto was that good friends could always insult each other and get away with it, it made them trusted friends, and he was right.

I have continued this tradition as well and it has always worked very well for me.

Finally, he was taken down to the operating theatre and we were shown into small waiting room, we were definitely not going anywhere until we knew the outcome, it was a long wait, quite a few hours, it seemed like days. At last, they brought him back to the ward and said it was just a question of time before he came round after the anaesthetic. Sometime later, I can’t remember how long, the doctor came in, he told us that the operation had been a complete success but, Dad was not responding, he was not waking up, they were keeping him going with several machines but it was not something that they could do permanently and we would have to make a decision fairly soon, whether to switch the machines off!

This bomb shell was terrible news but I suppose with all things considered, certainly not surprising, we had all known the risks, For some reason it was easier for me than my Mum or sister, probably because I had just lost my wife recently and had gradually come to terms with that, but at least I was there for my Mum and Sister and we all slowly came round to the conclusion that the machines would have to be stopped, we were asked if we wanted to be there to which we all agreed, it was rather an anti-climax because nothing much happened until the doctor said that it was over, my Mum and Sister burst into tears but thankfully I was able to provide the shoulders to cry on.

So, the beginning of 2010 had been my Annus Horribilis, as the Queen had said in 1992, when Windsor Castle caught fire and destroyed a lot of British history, first my wife passing then my father, on top of that I had to say goodbye to my two dogs and the two cats, I’d had no luck with finding someone to talk to, it was not the best start to the New Year that I had hoped for, whatever next? Something had to change! My optimism was being sorely tested!

※ ※ ※

It was about that time or maybe just after I had got back from my Mum’s that I heard news about an old acquaintance who had just married again, he had been off the grid for about six months and had come back married, with a Russian wife! I certainly didn’t have any plans to marry again but I needed someone to interact with, both my sons had moved away and apart from a few friends scattered about there was no-one else to talk to. So, I contacted my old friend and asked how he managed to find love again and my friend told me about a different dating site, a Russian one, he recommended it, said it was safe from scammers, they were very security conscious and gave tips on how to avoid trouble, they vetted all their customers and wouldn’t open profiles of people that they couldn’t verify! I thought it was worth a try and opened a profile.

Hey presto! Much to my surprise, two days later an email appeared in my inbox!

Chapter 5

The email picture on the dating site showed a young tallish slender woman with a good figure, obviously, the photo was produced professionally and posed, she was dressed to show her best features, she had a lovely hairstyle, pretty dress, good make-up and looked very attractive with a radiant smile and the photographer knew how to make her pose for the shot! I expected nothing less as I had viewed quite a few of the profiles already.

‘Very nice!’ I thought, and I began to read what she had written about herself.

Languages: Russian (fluent), English (good)

Christian, non-smoker, alcohol, sometimes.

Honest, faithful, romantic.

Interests: history, sport, psychology, craft work.

Looking for a partner

Single mother with grown-up daughter, divorced, Age 45, I like to be very honest with people, I believe I am calm and honest and would love to reciprocate love, affection and care to someone dear to my heart. I am an easy-going type of lady, I don’t like fighting, arguing or confrontation, I work hard and like to enjoy my time off. I generally try and find the ‘good’ in a situation…I am here to get my life partner.

I thought to myself, this looks interesting, she looks a lot younger than her age and I briefly thought it might be a scam and I wondered why she chose me, she is very well educated and I’m not, too good for me! I’m quite a bit older than her but what have I got to lose, maybe I should find out a bit more, so I replied!

It took me a while, I didn’t know quite how to start, I was new to this and had never done anything quite like this before, I finally plucked up the courage and I wrote back after thinking about it all day, I had been a little distracted at work, fortunately not enough to make mistakes while driving and when I finished for the day, I headed home feeling a little apprehensive and also a little intrigued.

I decided to be very honest and up front, I had kept things from my first wife, I didn’t want to upset her and cause her to worry and get depressed again, it had been difficult and forced me to lie to her on many occasions and to be quite honest, ha ha! It had not helped and I felt sure that my wife knew I was lying, when she died, I vowed that I would never do that again and from that point onward I never did but it did get me into trouble once, more of that later. I explained my present situation and mentioned a little about myself and my interests and told her I was just looking for friendship, somebody interesting to talk to. She had obviously seen my picture from the profile and it hadn’t frightened her off, so I felt a little less self-conscious!

I pressed send and forgot all about it for the rest of the day! I had to start sorting out the house and all my wife’s clothes, pack them up and think of what to do with them, I still hadn’t decided.

※ ※ ※

Before all this had happened, I had booked a holiday, I decided to take a break and had booked up a mini-cruise to Spain and back, three days, I thought it might do me good and I was looking forward to it very much but, little did I know what was about to happen; I had been working hard and had finally finished a four-day-stretch and looked forward to a few days off, it was the usual three-day weekend, I got home and crashed into bed as usual and the next morning I stayed in bed a little longer than usual and was slow getting up, I had no plans that day but later, I was going over to my sister-in-law’s for dinner, a chat and a movie. I finally got up went to my office switched the computer on then went downstairs to make a cup of coffee and breakfast. After eating, I walked up to the centre of the village to get a paper and some cigarettes. When I got back, I sat down at the computer, logged in and decided to book the holiday, it was much needed, I had been doing nothing but work, sleep and eat for a long time now, I hadn’t had a holiday in years and I thought it might do me good to get away, even for a few days so I started to search for ideas.

After looking for ages for something appropriate I came across a site for mini cruises and found one that sailed from Southampton down to Bilbao in Spain, stopped there for about four hours and then returned, three days in total, there and back. I had never been to Spain and although this wasn’t quite a holiday in Spain, I thought it would do for a start, so with that thought in mind I booked it up for one of my long weekends, some four weeks ahead and thought, that would do nicely.

I’ll have to inform work but it shouldn’t be a problem and it will be something to look forward to! Get away for a long weekend, maybe I would meet someone on board, someone to talk to, make a new friend, see new places and get some much-needed fresh air and let someone else do the cooking.

I wrote everything down in my diary and filed it away in my memory and thought to myself, it will do me good.

※ ※ ※

I had forgotten all about it but checked my emails every now and then to see if there had been a change in the booking, which can happen, I was advised to do this when I made the booking. I was checking through my emails, looking for any notifications or anything of interest when suddenly I spotted a strange one and realised that there was new one from the dating site!

Her name was Lena, she thanked me for the reply and proceeded to tell me a lot more about herself and her city and surroundings. She was an only child and her father had left her Mum when she was only a baby so she never knew him! Her daughter, she had had when she was very young and the boy she was seeing wasn’t interested in children or marriage and had disappeared without any intention of supporting her and the child. So, she had to bring up the child with her Mum helping most of the time because the jobs she had did not pay well, so she had to do a few jobs at the same time.

She’d survived and been reasonably successful, she’d been married once but it had been a marriage of convenience and with someone she had never seen, and the marriage had been annulled within a few weeks anyway, later on she had fallen in love with a guy at work and they had lived together for about 12 years, at first they got on OK but he had no ambition and a terrible temper and after one traumatic tantrum, where he had threatened her daughter, Lena decided enough was enough and to call it a day and they agreed to separate, he agreed to take the Dacha and she kept their small flat, they remained friends until she sold her flat to a stranger, he had had an idea that if she sold it, it would be to him, from that point onwards he hadn’t spoken to her.

She then realised that she wanted something much better than living on her own and a friend put her up to the idea of finding a foreign guy, foreigners were rich or so she thought, she was good at English, so someone from an English speaking country would be excellent, her friend suggested that as Lena was going on a business trip to St Petersburg soon she should call in to the Smolensk Cemetery after her seminar in the evening and visit the shrine to St Ksenia and pray for a husband, she was known to be good for that!

Lena was horrified! Her friend wanted her to go to a cemetery at night, walk through all the graves and pray at a Chapel for a husband, she had to be joking! Her friend had laughed, it wasn’t like that, the small Chapel was well known and well lit, pilgrims in their hundreds visited and prayed there every day and night, she said there would be a queue and that she would be perfectly safe.

So, after thinking about it for quite some time and trying to convince herself that she wasn’t mad, she finally made up her mind and set off to St Petersburg on her adventure, feeling very nervous but a little excited as well!

※ ※ ※

This all sounded a little strange to me, that’s putting it mildly, but I was, since my wife had died, in no mood for refusing opportunities and was ready for adventure and change in my life, I was intrigued enough to write back and proceeded to tell her a little more of my history but didn’t mention too much detail about the more recent events of the current year.

A couple of days passed without much happening and then a third message appeared, she wanted to know if I was on social media and if I would like to speak to her in person, maybe on Skype?

I had been on various social sites recently and had connected with some of my old school friends I also joined Facebook, it was new and interesting and I had posted some photos and some comments. I had nothing to hide so I agreed, sent her a link to my Facebook page and also my Skype name, I was quite familiar with Skype, I had used it a lot, I often chatted on Skype with my eldest son in America, he lived and worked there and it was just like having him in the same room, we would chat for ages and whilst chatting we would be able to do other things and it was almost like having him at home, not quite but the best we could do with being so far apart. The point is, that many people felt uncomfortable on a video call but we were used to it so it didn’t bother me at all and I was quite happy to agree, if not actually looking forward to it.

A convenient time was arranged, the time difference was about six hours, so we had to work out when would be suitable for both of us.

Now, when Lena wrote in her profile that she could speak English, it wasn’t quite the whole truth, I found out later that it was a slight exaggeration, she has always been good at that, she knew English OK, her level, we would say was upper intermediate on paper, but she had very little practical experience of actually using it to talk, especially to a native speaker, like me. We had communicated a lot via text messages on our phones so I was a little unprepared for what happened on our first Skype call!

I, like my dad, spoke quickly and on our first meeting on Skype it quickly became apparent that Lena, couldn’t understand very much of what I was trying to say, it was a mini disaster, we struggled, we had to use Skype SMS messages a lot, also Russian/English dictionaries, google translate, some pictures, a lot of scratching of heads, a lot of hand waving and gestures, embarrassing silences but we managed to get through our first meeting without putting each other off for good. It was extremely tiring for both of us but also very interesting, you never know what someone is like from just writing to each other and Skype gave us the opportunity to see each other face to face, you get an immediate chance to see the other persons eyes and see how honest they are and I saw that this woman was both charming and very open. We finally managed to be reasonably successful and arranged to talk again soon.

Despite being a little stressful, I enjoyed the call very much, I had found Lena lovely, she had laughed a lot at the nervous jokes I cracked, she had the most wonderful blue, honest eyes, and to my surprise, I found that I was immediately attracted to her. The rest of that day was a blur and I felt happier than I had been for a long time, I was on cloud nine, as we say!

Chapter 6

We first started communicating with each other on the 21st April 2010, it was messages through the dating site for the first week, then SMS messages for a couple of weeks with emails as well then Skype calls and SMS messages interspersed but soon it developed into whenever we could and then very quickly became every day, it became almost an obsession with me, I couldn’t get enough! Lena had pleaded with me very early on to talk slower and very soon our conversations were lasting longer, they were also becoming a lot easier, her English speaking improved rapidly and I was learning to communicate much more clearly and was finding it fun to help Lena with her language and also, strangely enough, to improve my own! I was getting very good at guessing what she meant even though the words were not the right ones, I was finding it easier and easier to understand her and it was hilarious sometimes when she used the correct grammar that she knew on the wrong word, I found it captivating and delightful.

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