Sleep: how to wake up refreshed
Alexey Goldman

© Alexey Goldman, 2025

ISBN 978-5-0068-0087-8

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Alexey Goldman

Sleep: how to wake up refreshed

Chapter 1: A Night in the Brain’s Laboratory: What’s Really Happening in There? (Spoiler: It’s Like a Movie!)

Have you ever wondered what your brain is up to while you’re peacefully (or not so peacefully) asleep? If we imagine it as a busy office during the day, then at night, it hosts a spectacular show with three main characters! Forget boring lectures – let’s go behind the scenes of this incredible performance. Understanding this is the first step to valuing your sleep and helping your brain do its best work.

Hero 1: THE CLEANING CREW (or The Super Window Washers)

What they do: Imagine that during the day, your brain accumulates a bunch of «junk» – these are waste products from your nerve cells, like exhaust from a car. If this junk isn’t cleaned up, it clogs the pipes, interferes with work, and can even cause long-term damage.

When they’re on stage: They work especially hard during DEEP SLEEP (the most restorative phase).

How they work: A powerful cleaning system kicks in (picture high-pressure hoses or tiny janitors with brooms!). They literally flush out toxins with a special fluid called cerebrospinal fluid. Scientists call this the «glymphatic system,» but the takeaway is what matters: deep sleep = a full-scale brain detox!

Why this matters to YOU: If the cleaning crew doesn’t have enough time to work (due to lack of sleep or poor sleep quality), the «junk» piles up. This is linked to that «foggy head» feeling in the morning and, in the long run, a higher risk of memory problems. Want a clear head? Let your cleaners work!

Hero 2: THE LIBRARIAN (or The Memory Archivist)

What they do: All day, your brain soaks up tons of information: new faces, conversations, things you read, new skills. But it’s all just in the «reception area» – your short-term memory. The Librarian’s job is to sort through this chaos: decide what’s important to file away for the long term (into long-term memory) and what can be tossed out.

When they’re on stage: They’re active in both key phases: Deep Sleep and REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement sleep, when we do most of our dreaming). Deep sleep is for initial sorting and «packaging,» while REM is where emotions and memories get powerfully linked together.

How they work: Picture a librarian flipping through the day’s «notes,» sorting them into thematic folders («work,» «personal,» «skills»), and carefully placing them on the right shelf in a vast archive. Sometimes they even find connections between different folders – which is how we get creative ideas or weird dreams!

Why this matters to YOU: Want to remember important things, learn new skills (languages, instruments), and stop losing your keys? Quality sleep = an efficient librarian. Sleep deprivation is like a library where books are piled on the floor: finding anything is nearly impossible.

Hero 3: THE THERAPIST (or The Emotion Processor)

What they do: Your day is full of events – joyful, stressful, upsetting, exciting. The Therapist helps your brain «digest» these emotions overnight, especially the tough, negative ones. They basically take the sting out of the day’s experiences.

When they’re on stage: The main stage is REM sleep (the dreaming phase). It’s during this phase that the brain actively replays the day’s emotional events (sometimes as strange dreams!), processes them, and «files them away.»

How they work: Imagine a therapist reviewing the day’s emotional «video recordings.» They help the brain separate the facts from the intense feelings, weakening their negative charge. You might wake up in the morning with a calmer, fresher perspective on yesterday’s problem.

Why this matters to YOU: Quality REM sleep = emotional resilience. If the Therapist doesn’t get to work (not enough sleep, broken sleep), you wake up irritable, anxious, and more vulnerable to stress. Your ability to handle stress is directly tied to good sleep!

What a Night in the Brain Looks Like: Sleep Cycles (Simplified!)

Your night’s sleep isn’t one long, monotonous stretch. It’s a series of repeating «episodes» of our night show, each lasting about 90 minutes (a bit more or less for some people). Each «episode» (sleep cycle) looks something like this:

Falling Asleep (Stage 1): Light dozing. Your thoughts drift. You’re easy to wake up. (The doorway to sleep).

Light Sleep (Stage 2): Your sleep deepens. Your body relaxes, temperature drops, heartbeat slows. We spend most of the night here. (The main event begins).

Deep Sleep (Stages 3—4): The deepest, most restorative sleep. It’s very hard to wake someone up. This is where The Cleaner and The Librarian (memory sorting) reign. Blood flows to muscles, tissues repair themselves, kids grow. This is for physical and «janitorial» recovery!

REM Sleep (Stage 5): Your brain becomes almost as active as when you’re awake (but your body is paralyzed – so you don’t act out your dreams!). Your eyes dart around under your eyelids. This is when vivid, emotional dreams usually happen. Here, The Librarian (connecting ideas) and The Therapist are in charge. This is for emotional and creative rebooting!

After REM sleep, the cycle is complete. You might briefly wake up or drift back into light sleep (Stage 2), and then it all starts again! You go through 4—6 of these cycles each night.

Why is it important to complete the WHOLE cycle? Imagine you’re building a house. Each cycle is a stage: the foundation (deep sleep), the walls (light sleep), the roof and finishing (REM). If you constantly interrupt construction during the foundation phase (an alarm in the middle of deep sleep), the house (your recovery) is never finished. You might get 8 hours of sleep but wake up exhausted? You were probably yanked out of a deep stage!

The Myth of «8 Hours»: Truth or Fiction?

The Truth: Most adults do need 7—9 hours of sleep overall for optimal health and brain function.

But what’s more important is NOT the number, but the QUALITY of your sleep and COMPLETING THOSE CYCLES!

Some people feel fantastic after 6 hours (if they wake up at the end of a light/REM phase).

Some people feel «wrecked» even after 9 hours (if their cycles were interrupted, their sleep was shallow, or they woke up from a deep stage).

Your task: Don’t chase a magic number. Instead, try to wake up at the end of a sleep cycle (usually in a light or REM phase), when it’s easiest. And create the conditions to get through all the important phases (especially deep and REM sleep).

Try it NOW! (A Practice from Chapter 1)

Listen to your body: Think back to a time you woke up naturally, without an alarm, and felt refreshed. About how many hours did you sleep? That’s your approximate sleep need. Write it down: My rough «natural» sleep length: ___ hours.

Experiment with waking up (if you can):

Try going to bed a little earlier than usual.

Set your alarm for a time that’s a multiple of ~90 minutes from your usual bedtime. For example:

Usually fall asleep at 11:00 PM?

Alarm options: 6:30 AM (5 cycles * 1.5h = 7.5h sleep), 8:00 AM (6 cycles * 1.5h = 9h sleep).

Important: This isn’t an exact science! Cycle length is individual (90 min is an average). Experiment and see what feels easier. Remember the goal from the Intro – start small (one try on the weekend!).

Think about quality: After your next sleep (even a short one), ask yourself:

Do I feel physically rested? (Did The Cleaner work?)

Is my head clear? Can I remember details easily? (Did The Librarian work?)

Am I emotionally calm? Resilient to stress? (Did The Therapist help?)

The Main Takeaway from this Chapter:

Your sleep isn’t a passive shutdown. It’s an active night shift for three indispensable brain workers: The Cleaner, The Librarian, and The Therapist. The better they can do their jobs (and for that, they need full sleep cycles, especially deep and REM), the better your morning will be: a clear head, strong memory, steady nerves, and an energized body. In the next chapters, let’s learn how to create the perfect conditions for their work!

Chapter 2: The Enemies of Good Sleep: Who’s Stealing Your Superpower Right Now? (And How to Stop Them!)

Remember our heroes from Chapter 1—The Cleaner, The Librarian, and The Therapist, working so hard all night? Now imagine that while they’re toiling away, little (and not-so-little) bandits are sneaking around your brain, trying to sabotage their work! These bandits are our everyday habits and environmental factors. They steal our deep sleep, make it hard to fall asleep, interrupt sweet dreams, and leave us feeling wrecked in the morning.

The good news: We can defeat most of these enemies, or at least weaken them significantly! Let’s meet the top «sleep thieves» and learn simple ways to stop them. You might already suspect a few!

Top 7 Sleep Bandits (And How to Fight Back):

Bandit #1: «The Blue Glow» (Smartphones, Tablets, TVs, Bright Screens)

How it harms you: The blue light from screens tricks your brain into thinking it’s still daytime! It suppresses the production of melatonin – our natural «sleep hormone.» Result: Your brain doesn’t get the «Time for bed!» signal, falling asleep takes longer, and your sleep becomes lighter and less restorative.

How to fight back:

Digital Sunset: Turn off ALL bright screens 1—1.5 hours before bed. Seriously! Replace scrolling with reading a physical book, a calm conversation, light stretching, or a hobby.

Night Mode: If you absolutely must use a device in the evening, turn on the «Night Light» / «Blue Light Filter» (it makes the screen warmer and yellower). Turn the brightness down to the minimum.

Physical Block: Charge your phone OUTSIDE the bedroom, or at least on the other side of the room, face down.

Bandit #2: «The Never-Ending Thought Machine» (Stress, Anxiety, Planning)

How it harms you: When your head is filled with problems, to-do lists, or anxious thoughts, your «fight or flight» system activates. This releases cortisol – the stress hormone, which is a direct enemy of melatonin and peaceful sleep. Your brain can’t switch into rest mode.

How to fight back:

«Worry Dump»: 1—2 hours before bed, take a notebook and pen and write down EVERYTHING swirling in your head: tomorrow’s tasks, worries, ideas. Physically writing it down «unloads» the thoughts from your mind. Tell yourself: «It’s on paper. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.»

«Quiet Time» for the Brain: Create a buffer zone before bed with no problem-solving or heavy conversations. Only calm, pleasant activities.

Breathing Help: If thoughts attack you in bed, use the «4-7-8» technique (inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, exhale through your mouth for 8 counts – repeat 3—5 times). Focusing on your breath pushes out the anxiety.

Bandit #3: «The Caffeine Saboteur» (Coffee, Strong Tea, Energy Drinks, Chocolate)

How it harms you: Caffeine is a powerful nervous system stimulant. It blocks adenosine receptors – a chemical that builds up during the day and signals tiredness. Caffeine’s effects can last 4—6 hours, and for some people, up to 12!

How to fight back:

Caffeine Curfew: Set a strict deadline for caffeine intake. Ideally, no later than 2:00—3:00 PM. If you’re very sensitive, cut it off by noon. In the evening – only herbal teas (chamomile, mint, lemon balm), water, or warm milk (if you tolerate it well).

Know Your Dose: One person is fine with one morning cup, another needs three. Monitor your reaction. If you’re sleeping poorly – cut back and move your intake earlier.

Watch for Hidden Caffeine: Black and green tea, dark chocolate, cola, some pain relievers.

Bandit #4: «The Late-Night Feast» (Heavy, Spicy, Large Meals)

How it harms you: When you go to bed with a full stomach, your body is forced to spend energy on digestion, not on restoration. This can lead to heartburn, discomfort, and general unrest, making it hard to fall asleep and causing interruptions throughout the night.

How to fight back:

«Light Dinner = Strong Sleep»: Try to finish dinner 2.5—3 hours before bed. If you’re truly hungry right before bed, choose a light snack: a banana, a small yogurt, a handful of almonds, a glass of kefir, a whole-grain cracker.

Avoid Fatty and Spicy Foods: These take longer to digest and can cause heartburn.

Be careful with alcohol! It might help you fall asleep, but it catastrophically ruins the QUALITY of your sleep, especially by suppressing crucial REM sleep. You’ll wake up feeling exhausted.

Bandit #5: «The Bedroom Sauna» (Stuffy, Hot Air)

How it harms you: Your body needs to lower its core temperature slightly to fall asleep and stay in deep sleep. In a stuffy, hot room, your body can’t cool down effectively, leading to restless, shallow sleep.

How to fight back:

Ideal Temperature: 18—20° C (65—68° F) is the gold standard for a bedroom. Air out the room before bed! (Even in winter – just for 5—10 minutes). In summer, use air conditioning or a fan (point it along the wall or ceiling, not directly at you).

The Right Pajamas & Bedding: Choose lightweight, breathable fabrics (cotton, linen, bamboo). Avoid synthetic materials that trap heat.

Warm Shower/Bath: Paradoxically, a warm shower or bath 1—1.5 hours before bed helps your body cool down afterward by expanding blood vessels in your skin.

Bandit #6: «City Noise» (Street Noise, Neighbors, Snoring, Ticking Clocks)

How it harms you: Even if you don’t fully wake up, background noise (especially irregular sounds like car horns, shouts, barking dogs) keeps your brain in a state of heightened alertness, preventing you from sinking into the deep, restorative stages of sleep.

How to fight back:

Earplugs – Your Best Friends: High-quality silicone or foam earplugs can work wonders! Try different kinds to find comfortable ones.

White Noise: Apps or machines that play white noise (a steady hiss, rain sounds, ocean waves) mask sharp external sounds by creating a monotonous background that the brain learns to ignore. For many, this is better than total silence.

Eliminate Internal Sources: Remove ticking clocks from the bedroom. If your partner snores – talk about it and look for solutions (sleep position, consulting a doctor).

Bandit #7: «The Unruly Clock» (Irregular Schedule, Weekend «Catch-Up» Sleep)

How it harms you: Our internal biological clock (circadian rhythm) loves predictability. If you go to bed and wake up at different times, especially if you shift your sleep by 2—3 hours or more on weekends, it causes «social jet lag.» Your brain gets confused about when to sleep, and melatonin production gets disrupted. Sleep quality plummets.

How to fight back:

Consistency is Key: Try to go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time (+/– 1 hour) EVERY day, even on weekends. This is the most powerful signal for your biological clock.

The «Golden Mean» on Weekends: If you really want to sleep in on Saturday, don’t shift your wake-up time by more than 1—1.5 hours from your weekday time. It’s better to take a short nap later (see Chapter 7!).

Try it NOW! (Your First Operation to Catch the Sleep Bandits)

«Identify the Target»: Look at the list of bandits above. Which one (s) most often mess with your sleep? Choose ONE or TWO main culprits for your fatigue. Don’t try to fight them all at once!

«Develop a Tactic»: Choose ONE simple and realistic way to «neutralize» this bandit from the list above. For example:

If it’s Enemy #1 (Screens): «I won’t take my phone to bed starting tonight» or «I’ll turn on night mode on my phone after 9:00 PM.»

If it’s Enemy #2 (Thoughts): «I will write down my worries in a notebook an hour before bed.»

If it’s Enemy #3 (Coffee): «I won’t drink coffee after 2:00 PM.»

If it’s Enemy #5 (Heat): «I will crack the window open at night (or turn on the fan).»

«Launch the Operation»: Write down your micro-goal:

My main sleep enemy right now: _________________________

My tactic to neutralize it: _________________________

I’m starting TONIGHT (or tomorrow morning)!

«Pilot Period»: Commit to this one small step for at least 3—4 days in a row. This is long enough to feel the effect without getting overwhelmed.

Important! Don’t beat yourself up if it’s not perfect on the first try. The key is awareness and the desire to try again. Every small victory over a «sleep bandit» is a step toward your Superpower!

In the next chapters, we’ll give you even more weapons (rituals, bedroom setup, falling-asleep techniques) to build your own impenetrable fortress of sleep!

Chapter 3: Your Evening Ritual: How to Persuade Your Brain to «Switch Off» (Without Sleeping Pills!)

Imagine this: you walk up to a complex piece of equipment – say, a powerful computer – and just yank the plug out of the wall. What happens? It might break. And if you do that constantly? It will definitely break!

Your brain works the same way. After a full day of work, it can’t just «switch off» at the flick of a button. It needs a smooth, calm «sunset mode» – a gentle transition from frantic activity to rest.

This is what an evening ritual is for. It’s not just a list of tasks. It’s your personal, calming signal to the brain: «The day is over. It’s time to rest. Cleaner, Librarian, and Therapist, get ready for your shift!» Without this signal, your brain might keep racing like a spooked horse or launch into a «parade of thoughts» (remember Bandit #2?).

The good news: creating your perfect ritual is simple, pleasant, and doesn’t take much time! Even 20—30 minutes can work wonders. The key is consistency and focusing on pleasant sensations.

What to Include in Your Ritual? Your Toolbox of Sleepy Tools

Think of your ritual as a set of calming activities that you enjoy and that relax you. Here are some proven «tools» to mix and match:

Tool: «Digital Sunset» (The Essential Foundation!)

What to do: 60—90 minutes before bed – no bright screens! (Phone, tablet, TV, laptop). Remember Bandit #1? This is your main move to defeat it.

What to do instead: This is where the magic begins! The freed-up time is your chance for calm.

Why it works: It removes blue light, reduces information overload, and lets your brain «cool down.»

Tool: «A Warm Cloud» (Relaxing Your Body)

Options:

A warm shower or bath: Not hot! Warm water relaxes muscles, and the subsequent natural cooling of your body is a signal for sleep. Add a couple of drops of lavender oil (if you like the smell) to enhance the effect.

Light stretching or yoga (5—10 min): Not a dynamic workout! Gentle stretches, poses that promote relaxation (e.g., «child’s pose,» «supine twist»). Focus on your breathing.

Massage (self-massage or from a partner): Light, stroking movements on your feet, hands, neck, and face. Use moisturizer or oil.

Why it works: It releases physical tension built up during the day and switches your focus from thoughts to bodily sensations.

Tool: «A Quiet Harbor» (Relaxing Your Mind)

Options:

Reading a PHYSICAL book/magazine: Choose something calm, pleasant, NOT work-related, and NOT too thrilling. Fiction, essays, magazines about nature or cooking are great.

Calm music or nature sounds: Quiet instrumental music (classical, ambient), sounds of rain, ocean, forest. Use speakers, not headphones.

Meditation or mindful breathing (5—10 min): No need for complex techniques! Just sit or lie down comfortably. Follow your natural breath. When your mind wanders (and it will!), gently bring your attention back to your inhale and exhale. Or use short, guided meditation audio tracks.

Quiet hobby or craft: Knitting, coloring (mandalas), sketching – something monotonous and soothing.

A pleasant conversation (no arguments!): Chat quietly with your partner, read a fairy tale to your child.

Why it works: It slows down your racing thoughts, lowers stress (cortisol) levels, and creates a sense of peace.

Tool: «Setting the Scene» (Preparing Your Bedroom)

What to do (you can do this alongside other activities or at the end):

Dim the main lights in the house; turn on nightlights or a warm table lamp.

Air out the bedroom (even in winter – for 5 minutes!).

Lay out your clothes for the next day.

Do a quick tidy-up (so your morning starts calmly).

Check that the bedroom is cool, dark, and quiet (see Chapter 4—preparing your fortress!).

Why it works: It physically creates a sleep-friendly environment and gives your brain the signal: «The rest area is ready!»

Tool: «Tea Ceremony» (A Warm Drink – Optional)

What to drink: Herbal, caffeine-free teas – chamomile, mint, lemon balm, lavender, passionflower, valerian root. Warm milk (if you tolerate it well) with a pinch of turmeric or honey. Warm water with lemon.

What to avoid: Coffee, black/green tea, cocoa, alcohol, sugary drinks. Drink no later than 30—60 minutes before bed to avoid nighttime trips to the bathroom.

Why it works: A warm drink is inherently relaxing. Some herbs have a mild sedative effect. The ritual of making and drinking it is also calming.

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