Екатерина Алаева
«Tears Through Daydreams»

Forgive Me, Mom.

Forgive me, mom, I can’t bear all this pain,

Forgive me, mom, this bitter grief and dread.

Day after day, I look for light in vain,

Day after day, I feel that love is dead.

I only want my kids to find their bliss,

I only want to smile and live anew.

So all the hardships, sorrows such as this,

Could be forgotten, leaving just the view.

Let heavenly judge now punish all his deeds,

The karma of mistakes will find his door.

But he will not forget my life and needs,

His future days won't be bright anymore.

Only regret will live inside his chest,

And heavy longing for the days we knew.

How we were happy, doing all our best,

In memories it stays forever true.

And let my soul return just like a wind,

To look at him from somewhere high above,

To pass him by, with choices predefined,

And leave forever, taking all my love.

Forgive Me.

Forgive me, I could take no more,

Forgive me, for I was so blind.

In heaven, rules are strict, for sure,

Clouds hid the sun we left behind.

My love was like a distant shore,

Like something we cannot regain.

My love was like a wind that tore,

Away into September rain.

Perhaps we'll never build again

Our great and beautiful love's home.

But we once dreamed through all the pain

To find our peace and stop to roam.

I’m tired of this anxious breath,

I’m tired of this endless grief.

Misfortunes brought a winter death,

And wrapped the distance like a thief.

Be happy now, forget the past,

Where we were close just yesterday.

You had no patience that could last,

To love forever on your way.

Loving the Emptiness

I’m tired of loving with such might,

And loving emptiness inside.

The man who was my guiding light,

From him my love has walked aside.

I’m tired of loving with such might,

Perhaps it all was just in vain.

But love will merge and heal my night,

To fill my heart and ease the pain.

A day will come, the storm will end,

The sun will show its brilliant ray.

The heavy clouds will start to bend,

And light will find its hidden way.

But for a moment, just recall

The joy that used to pull us through.

And then your sadness, big or small,

Won't seem so bitter and so true.

You will be happy, trust my word,

That long-awaited day is near.

So wipe the tears that were deferred,

Until their shadows disappear.

For love is magical and grand,

It will be waiting for your soul.

Just wait and trust, take fate's own hand,

And let the future make you whole.

Мom.

Thank you, dear mom, for being there,

Thank you for staying by my side,

My love for you is everywhere,

It flows inside me like a tide.

Through joy and grief, through all the years,

You walked with me, not looking back.

I still remember seas of tears

That threw a shadow on your track.

Life will bring happiness quite soon,

The grief and sadness fade away.

A Day will come, the sun and moon

Will light for us a brand-new way.

But for a moment, let us find

Our joy in eyes of beautiful blue.

For watching kids, so sweet and kind,

We see the sun's bright spark anew.

Thank you, dear mom, for being there,

Thank you for staying by my side,

Because you're here, with love to share,

I'll keep this through my earthly ride.

A Trace in the Soul.

A heavy trace lives in my soul,

It stays with me for all my days.

A scar on heart makes me whole,

I hope it heals in many ways.

The time of grief will pass away,

The time of darkness and distress.

Love will arrive and stay,

To bring my soul its happiness.

So let us stop, both you and I,

To look at life with heavy sighs.

Let’s leave the bad thoughts behind,

To heal the pain we used to find.

Let's just forget the gloomy nights,

Our souls won't feel the empty space.

We will behold the brilliant lights,

Instead of darkness in this place.

A Ray of Sun.

I’ll take a sunray from the sky,

That shines so bright for you and me.

I will be here, as time goes by,

To love you and your fate to be.

We will be together, it's so clear,

Welcoming dawns and sunsets grand.

Looking into the blue distance, dear,

Forgiving all across the land.

No regrets for times of joy or pain,

With you my soul won't feel the void.

The heavy clouds won't bring the rain,

Our loving bond can't be destroyed.

Let's just forget the old offense,

To leave the sadness far behind,

To fill our lives with dreams intense,

And stay together, heart and mind.

Daughter.

My little daughter is grown now,

She looks like me in every way.

She dropped her doll and childhood vow,

No longer writes her alphabet today.

Her blond hair gently drapes her shoulder,

Her skin is white like porcelain, fair.

Her eyes are blue as sky, but colder,

She is so beautiful, a dream so rare.

My warmth of love will keep you warm,

Right now and through the coming years.

We will believe through any storm,

That you are safe from lonely tears.

And let your life shine like the sun,

To light your path with steady glow.

Just remember always, little one,

I am with you, you're not alone.

Whether it’s grief or joy you face,

We will not yield, we’ll walk that line.

I will not leave you in any place,

Together we will stand through time.

Wine.

The wine is in my hand again,

Its taste is sweet, without a pain.

Just try its flavor, rich and grand,

To open doors to endless land.

You will forget your grief a bit,

Your world with joy will soon be lit.

The wine is in my hand again,

Its taste is sweet, without a pain.

Wanting a glass, just one, no more,

I wait for evening at my door.

To find the meaning for my soul,

I open wine to make me whole.

It opens up my thoughts to see,

This blood-red wine inside of me.

Just try its flavor, rich and grand,

Forgive yourself across the land.

Love Has Faded.

My love is gone, it couldn't last,

It faded like a dying flower.

I finally learned from all the past:

To stay together has no power.

Forgive me, I was in a rush,

When calling you, my destiny.

Perhaps my sins began to crush,

When thinking you belonged to me.

Turning the page of life today,

I'll start a brand-new path from zero.

I will live on a brand-new way,

Where you are no longer my hero.

I’ll tell you that the feelings died,

You will not hear me weep or cry.

Although some sadness stays inside,

You were the executioner of my sky.

Please understand mistakes we made,

The ones you chose with me to share.

Remember how our future failed:

We could be close, but you're not there.

Drunk Once Again.

Drunk once again, I’m drunk once more,

I’ll speak my thoughts aloud and free.

Of what is next and what's before,

I'll dedicate these lines to me.