Ульяна Солнечная, Uliana Sunny
I Choose from Wholeness Without Losing Myself in Relationships. An Original Motivational Method by Uliana Sunny

An Original Motivational Method by Uliana Sunny

“I Choose from Wholeness Without Losing Myself in Relationships”

The Nature of the Method

Women who have made their way back to themselves know what their inner voice sounds like. They know how to rely on themselves and no longer seek confirmation of their worth in the outside world. And they are united by a new, more subtle question: How do I let a man into my whole, complete life without destroying it?

This method is not about how to “get” a man or “keep” him. It is about how to choose from a place of fullness, how not to lose yourself at the beginning of a relationship, and how to build a union between two mature adults, where love becomes an extension of your wholeness rather than an attempt to fill a void within you.

Let me repeat this. My method is a journey back to yourself, created at the intersection of three powerful forces: my life experience (living through rock bottom and being reborn), logic (a mathematical mindset that brings structure to chaos), and spiritual wisdom (working with energy, intuition, and numerological numbers).

This Method is based on the key principle of my second book, Already WHOLE. How to Start a Relationship Without Losing Yourself:

Consciously choose what truly resonates with your inner world!

Who This Method Is For:

●

You are ready for a relationship, but you are afraid of losing yourself again.

●

You want to learn how to distinguish attraction from love, and charisma from maturity.

●

You are ready to choose not out of fear of being alone, but from a place of inner alignment.

The Goal of the Method:

To learn how to consciously enter into relationships while remaining true to yourself, and how to leave them when they stop being a space for growth.

My Theory

So, what do I want to talk to you about in my original motivational method, “I Choose from Wholeness Without Losing Myself in Relationships”?

This method is a continuation of the previous one. If in the first method we went together from questions of survival and suffering to questions of choice, now we are moving to a completely different level.

Back then, we learned to stop living in pain.

We learned to take responsibility for our lives.

We learned to choose ourselves.

We learned to stop suffering.

We learned to make decisions.

It was precisely this journey that was supposed to lead you to a state of inner wholeness.

If you have walked this path honestly, if you have truly worked on yourself, then you are no longer living in a state of inner destruction.

You no longer live from fear.

You no longer cling to people simply because you are afraid of being alone.

You no longer try to fill an inner emptiness with relationships.

You are already whole.

And this method was written specifically for such a woman.

This method is not about how to find a man at any cost.

It is not about how to make a man like you.

It is not about how to make a man fall in love with you.

And it is not even about how to get married.

No.

This method is about something completely different.

It is about how to let a man into your life and, at the same time, not lose yourself.

Because so many women make the same mistake.

They spend a long time working on themselves.

They learn to love themselves.

They become confident.

They become happy.

But as soon as a man enters their lives, they start living his life again.

They forget about their goals.

They forget about their desires.

They begin to adapt themselves to him.

They start tolerating things they shouldn’t.

They become afraid of losing the relationship.

They become afraid of saying too much.

They become afraid of being themselves.

And little by little, they lose themselves again.

In the end, it turns out that the woman had seemingly achieved wholeness, but the relationship once again destroyed everything she had worked so hard to build.

That is exactly why this method was created.

I want to help you learn how to preserve your inner state regardless of whether or not there is a man beside you.

Because true love should not destroy your identity.

A real relationship should not deprive you of your freedom.

A real man should not become the meaning of your life.

He should become a part of it.

A beautiful part.

A beloved part.

But only a part.

Not your entire life.

It is important to understand one simple thing.

Wholeness is not a final destination.

It is not a state that you can achieve once and then never think about again.

Many women make a mistake.

They think:

“That’s it. Now I am whole. Now I can relax.”

No.

Wholeness is a state that requires constant care.

Just like your body.

If you went to the gym today, it does not mean that you can now stop taking care of yourself for ten years.

If you ate healthy today, it does not mean that tomorrow you can completely abandon your health.

The same thing happens with your inner state.

If you stop taking care of yourself, your balance gradually begins to fall apart again.

So the first thing I want to tell you is:

Protect your wholeness.

You did not arrive at it by accident.

It came as a result of your work.

As a result of your choices.

Your tears.

Your mistakes.

Your losses.

Your patience.

Your discipline.

Your work on yourself.

You invested an enormous amount of strength, time, and energy to reach this state.

And now your task is to preserve it.

To become a whole woman, you needed time.

You needed desire.

You needed intention.

You needed goals.

Perhaps there were moments when you wanted to give up everything.

When it seemed that nothing was changing.

When you wanted to return to your old habits.

But you kept moving forward.

Step by step.

Day by day.

And now you are here.

Do not devalue this journey.

Do not allow anyone to destroy what you have spent so long building.

Even if this person is very dear to you.

Remember one very important thought:

No relationship is worth losing yourself for.

Because if you lose yourself, you lose everything.

You lose your desires.

You lose your dreams.

You lose your confidence.

You lose your inner foundation.

And then the relationship stops bringing happiness.

It turns into survival once again.

And we have already agreed that we no longer live in a state of survival.

Now we live in a state of choice.

Therefore, from this point forward, in this method, we will not talk only about men.

First and foremost, we will talk about you.

About your inner state.

About your health.

About your finances.

About your boundaries.

About your self-worth.

About your choices.

And only after that — about the man.

Because a happy relationship does not begin with meeting a man.

It begins with a woman meeting herself.

And only when that meeting has taken place, when a woman has become whole, calm, and internally grounded, can a man enter her life without her losing herself.

On the contrary — she can become even happier.

If you have already reached a state of wholeness, it does not mean that you can now stop working on yourself.

Quite the opposite.

This is precisely when the most interesting part of your journey begins.

Because becoming whole is one thing.

And being able to preserve that state for many years is something completely different.

Wholeness is not a gift from fate.

It is a daily choice.

Every day, you either strengthen your inner state or gradually destroy it through your thoughts, habits, lifestyle, environment, and decisions.

Therefore, taking care of yourself now becomes not a temporary task, but a way of life.

First and foremost, a woman must take care of her health.

And when I talk about health, I do not mean only your physical condition.

I am talking about three components:

●

physical health;

●

mental health;

●

spiritual health.

It is the harmony between these three areas that makes a woman truly resilient and grounded.

If only the body develops while the soul is completely neglected, an emptiness appears inside.

If only spirituality develops while the body is completely neglected, eventually the body begins to malfunction.

If the mind is constantly working while the body never gets enough rest, a person quickly burns out.

Therefore, it is important to learn how to live in balance.

We are given only one body.

We will not have another one.

So treat it with gratitude.

Not because fashion demands it.

Not because it is what society expects.

But because it is through your body that you experience your life.

It is thanks to your body that you can love.

Travel.

Work.

Hug the people you love.

Give birth to children.

Create.

Dream.

Therefore, taking care of your body is an expression of self-love.

Pay attention to your daily routine.

Even if you deviate from it sometimes — that’s okay.

But you should have a routine.

Because chaos gradually destroys the body.

When a person goes to bed at different times every night.

When they eat whenever and however they happen to.

When they constantly work without resting.

When they live without any structure or schedule.

Over time, it is not only the body that suffers.

The mind suffers too.

So create a lifestyle for yourself that gives you strength rather than taking it away.

Be sure to give your body physical activity.

Not because you need to meet some beauty standards.

But because movement is life.

Choose the type of activity that genuinely brings you pleasure.

If you love sports — do sports.

If you love dancing — dance.

If you love swimming — swim.

If you do not like the gym — do not force yourself.

You can simply walk a lot.

That is exactly what I do.

When I don’t feel like exercising, I walk a lot.

I go for walks.

I breathe fresh air.

And that also helps me maintain good physical fitness.

The most important thing is never to stop moving.

It is very important to eat properly.

Not because you need to lose weight.

But because food is energy.

Your body is built from what you eat.

So ask yourself:

Which foods give you strength?

After which foods do you feel light and energized?

Which foods make you feel more alert?

Perhaps intermittent fasting will work for some people.

For others, smaller, more frequent meals may be better.

For someone else, a completely different eating pattern may be the right choice.

There is no single correct approach that works for everyone.

Study yourself.

Listen to your body.

And find the way of eating that is right specifically for you.

Drink more clean water.

Whenever possible, avoid alcohol.

Or at least reduce your consumption to a minimum.

Alcohol never makes life better.

Quite the opposite.

Very often, it becomes a way to escape from problems.

But we no longer run away.

We are learning to face life head-on.

Do not forget to have regular medical checkups.

At least once a year.

Take care of your health.

Visit your dentist.

Do not postpone treatment.

Very often, people are willing to spend enormous amounts of money on beautiful things, phones, cars, and travel.

But they save money when it comes to their own health.

And yet health is something you cannot buy back once you have lost it.

You can earn new money.

You can buy a new home.

You can start a new business.

But if you seriously lose your health, restoring it can be extremely difficult.

So take care of yourself.

This is especially important for a woman.

I already talked to you about this in my previous method.

Not every woman is born with the facial features she considers ideal.

And that is perfectly normal.

But every woman can take care of herself.

Every woman can look well-groomed.

Every woman can present herself with dignity.

Not for men.

Not for society.

But for herself.

Because when a woman loves her body, she feels completely different inside.

She becomes more confident.

Calmer.

Softer.

More feminine.

And this beauty no longer comes only from her appearance.

It comes from within.

Remember this simple thought.

A whole woman does not fight against her body.

She does not hate herself.

She does not criticize her reflection every morning.

She is grateful to her body.

She takes care of it.

She supports it.

Because she understands:

This is my home for the rest of my life.

And it is through loving your body that you begin to love yourself.

We talk a lot about beauty.

About appearance.

About healthy eating.

About exercise.

But there is another kind of health that is often forgotten.

That is mental health.

And it is precisely our mental health that very often determines the quality of our lives, our relationships, and the decisions we make every day.

Modern life is filled with stress.

Sometimes we do not even notice it.

Constant rushing.

The news.

Social media.

Work.

Responsibilities.

Worries.

The expectations of other people.

All of this gradually accumulates inside us.

And if we do not learn to take care of our mental health in the same way we take care of our bodies, one day our system itself will say:

“Stop.”

That is why a whole woman does not ignore her inner state.

She notices when she is tired.

When she is emotionally exhausted.

When she needs rest.

When she needs to spend some time alone.

When she needs to talk to someone close to her.

When she needs professional help.

And there is nothing shameful about that.

It is very important to understand one thing.

Being whole does not mean never experiencing anxiety.

It does not mean never crying.

It does not mean never going through difficult emotions.

We are human beings.

There will always be difficult periods in our lives.

There will be losses.

There will be disappointments.

There will be crises.

There will be situations that cannot be predicted.

But the difference is that in the past, you may have been destroyed by the weight of these events, whereas now you know how to live through them without destroying yourself.

That is inner maturity.

If you feel that you cannot cope on your own, do not be afraid to seek professional help.

A psychologist.

A psychotherapist.

A doctor.

This does not mean that you are weak.

It means that you are wise enough to ask for help at the right time.

I already told you in my previous method that I myself sought help from a psychotherapist.

And I do not regret it in the slightest.

Sometimes just a few sessions are enough to help you see a situation in a completely different way.

Sometimes one well-placed question can change the direction of your entire life.

So do not be afraid to accept help.

Wholeness does not mean that you are required to handle absolutely everything on your own.

Another very important part of life is spiritual development.

I never impose my religious beliefs on anyone.

Every person has the right to believe in whatever feels right to them.

Personally, I believe in God.

And there have been many situations in my life when it was precisely my faith that helped me not to give up.

There were moments when it seemed that there was no way out.

When everything was falling apart.

When I was afraid.

When I was in pain.

And it was precisely then that I turned to God.

I asked for help.

I asked for strength.

I asked for wisdom.

And every time, I felt that I was not alone.

For you, spiritual practice may look completely different.

For some, it may be prayer.

For others, reading Scripture.

For someone else, visiting a church, mosque, or another place where they feel connected to God.

For some, it may be meditation.

For others, time spent in complete silence.

It does not matter so much which practice you choose.

What matters is this:

Do not lose your connection with your inner world.

Do not allow the noise of everyday life to drown out your inner voice.

Because very often, it is precisely that voice that points us in the right direction.

Sometimes we become so busy with work, relationships, household responsibilities, and the constant race of life that we stop hearing ourselves.

We stop understanding what we want.

We stop feeling our true desires.

And then we begin living according to other people’s expectations.

But a whole woman does not live that way.

She regularly spends time alone with herself.

She asks herself questions.

She answers them honestly.

She checks whether she is still moving in the right direction.

Whether she has strayed from her path.

Whether she has started living for someone else again while forgetting about herself.

Remember this simple thought.

You cannot build a happy relationship if you have no peace within yourself.

Because your inner state is always reflected in your external life.

If there is anxiety inside you, it will appear in your relationship.

If there is fear inside you, it will manifest itself in your relationship with a man.

If there is distrust inside you, it will inevitably become part of the relationship as well.

So first create peace within yourself.

And only then let another person into your life.

Very often, women start looking for a man precisely when they are struggling.

They believe that a relationship will save them.

That a loved one will fill their emptiness.

That loneliness will disappear when they have a man by their side.

But this is an illusion.

Because no man can make a woman happy if she has not first learned how to be happy without him.

A man should not become your salvation.

He should not be responsible for healing your inner wounds.

He should not take responsibility for your happiness.

That is too heavy a burden for any human being.

So first learn how to be happy on your own.

And only then share that happiness with a man.

This is what I call a state of wholeness.

When you are not looking for someone to save you.

Not looking for someone to fill your emptiness.

Not looking for someone to give you a sense of worth.

You are already valuable.

You are already happy.

You are already whole.

And then a man enters your life not to save you.

But to walk beside you.

Remember this thought.

A whole woman does not hold on to a relationship out of fear. She chooses a relationship out of love.

And there is an enormous difference between the two.

Now let’s talk about another very important component of your wholeness — finances.

I have already told you that in the first method, we reached the point where we stopped living from a victim mentality.

We began taking responsibility for our lives.

Including responsibility for our financial well-being.

But now that you have become a whole woman, it is important not only to learn how to earn money.

It is important to learn how to live in such a way that money is no longer a source of fear.

I am not teaching you how to become a millionaire in this method.

I am not a financial advisor.

I am not teaching you how to start a business or how to make your first million.

That is a completely different subject.

But one thing I can say with absolute certainty is this:

A whole woman should understand what is happening with her money.

Very often, women completely shift financial responsibility onto the man.

Especially when they are married.

They think that because their husband earns the money, they do not need to take any interest in the family’s finances at all.

I see it differently.

Even if a man fully supports the family, a woman should understand the financial situation.

She should know:

How much money comes into the household.

How much money goes out.

What the essential expenses are.

What loans or other financial obligations exist.

How much savings there are.

What financial goals the family has.

This is not about control.

It is about peace of mind.

There is another very important point.

Every woman should have her own financial safety net.

Always.

Even if you have a wonderful husband.

Even if you completely trust your man.

Even if you have a happy marriage.

This does not mean that you distrust him.

It means that you are mature.

Life is unpredictable.

Anything can happen.

Job loss.

Relocation.

Illness.

A financial crisis.

Any number of unexpected circumstances.

And when a woman has her own financial reserve, she feels much calmer.

She makes decisions not from fear, but from confidence.

If you work and earn a good income — wonderful.

Keep developing.

Keep learning.

Keep expanding your opportunities.

If your income is small for now — that is okay.

The most important thing is not to stop moving forward.

Do not tell yourself:

“Well, I guess this is my limit.”

No.

There is no limit.

There is only a level you have not reached yet.

Sometimes life circumstances mean that a woman is temporarily not working.

For example, she may be on maternity leave.

Or caring for a loved one.

Or moving to a new place.

Or studying.

That is okay too.

The important thing is to understand that this is a temporary stage.

And even during this period, continue to develop.

Gain new knowledge.

Learn new professions.

Study languages.

Read books.

Because knowledge is also capital.

And very often, it is precisely this knowledge that begins generating income several years later.

Remember this simple thought.

Financial literacy is not about wealth.

It is about peace of mind.

When you understand your possibilities.

When you know how to plan.

When you do not live from paycheck to paycheck.

When you know that you will be able to handle an unexpected situation.

This gives a woman an enormous sense of inner security.

So learn to save.

Even if the amounts are very small right now.

Do not think:

“When I start earning more, then I will start saving.”

No.

The habit of saving is not born when you have a lot of money.

It is born when you develop discipline.

Let it be a very small amount.

The most important thing is consistency.

Because it is consistency that gradually creates confidence in tomorrow.

And there is one more thought that is very important to me.

Never put money above yourself.

Money is a tool.

It is not the goal of life.

It is not the meaning of life.

It is not a measure of your worth.

Today, you may have more of it.

Tomorrow, you may have less.

That is normal.

But if you preserve your knowledge, character, discipline, health, and desire to grow, you will always be able to rebuild your financial situation.

But if you lose yourself, no amount of money will help you experience true happiness.

Therefore, your task is not to worship money.

It is to learn how to be on good terms with it.

To respect it.

To manage it wisely.

Not to spend it thoughtlessly.

Not to live in constant debt when it can be avoided.

And to remember that financial freedom does not begin with a large salary.

It begins with inner order.

That is precisely why I consider financial literacy to be part of a woman’s wholeness.

Because a woman who knows how to manage her money is far less likely to stay in a relationship simply because she is afraid of being left without financial support.

She chooses a man not out of necessity.

But out of love.

And now we have come to the most important part.

You are no longer the woman you once were.

You are no longer living in a state of inner destruction.

You are not looking for a man to save you.

You are not looking for someone to fill your inner emptiness.

You are not looking for love because you are afraid of being alone.

No.

Now everything is different.

Now you are whole.

And that is precisely why now you choose.

It is very important to understand this.

Because many women continue to live as though the man is the one choosing them.

They try to make themselves appealing.

They are afraid of saying too much.

They are afraid to show their true desires.

They are afraid of losing the person.

They are afraid of being alone.

But all of that belongs to the past.

You have already made the journey from suffering to choice.

Now you do not beg for love.

You choose who you want to walk through life with.

When a woman becomes whole, she develops high standards.

And that is perfectly normal.

Do not lower them simply because you are afraid.

Do not agree to a relationship that is not right for you.

Do not tolerate things that cause you pain.

Do not convince yourself that “any man is better than no man at all.”

No.

It is better to be alone than to be beside someone who will make you lose yourself again.

It is very important to understand male psychology.

There are men who are simply playing the field.

They date.

They flirt.

They text women.

They enjoy receiving female attention.

They are not thinking about family.

They are not thinking about the future.

They are not thinking about responsibility.

And that is also okay.

Every person goes through their own stages of growth and maturity.

But there are other men.

At some point, a man realizes that he is no longer interested in spreading himself thin.

He begins thinking about the future.

About family.

About children.

About a home.

About stability.