Uliana Sunny, Ульяна Солнечная
From Survival and Suffering Questions to Questions of Choice. Authors Transformational Method by Uliana Sunny

Author’s Transformational Method by Uliana Sunny

“From Survival and Suffering Questions to Questions of Choice”

The Nature of the Method

Women who are tired of suffering are united not by the same reason for their pain, but by one common state: you have been living in survival mode for a long time…

For one woman, it may be the loss of a loved one.

For another, a breakup, financial uncertainty, and the need to stay strong.

For someone else, it may be illness, divorce, or loneliness.

My method is a journey of returning to yourself, created at the intersection of three powerful forces: my life experience (going through rock bottom and rebirth), logic (a mathematical mindset that brings structure to chaos), and spiritual wisdom (working with energy, intuition, and numerology).

The method is based on the key principle of my book, Whole: From Losing Yourself to Loving Yourself:

Stop suffering and start choosing!

It is intended for women who:

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Are going through suffering alone.

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Feel an inner crisis and emptiness, even when everything seems fine on the outside.

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Are tired of choosing pain and losing themselves in relationships.

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Want to stop “suffering” and learn to live from a place of inner resources and wholeness.

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Feel like they are standing among the “ruins,” destroying themselves from within.

The method is built on the principle of “from the foundation to the peak”: first, we reclaim our inner support, and then we learn to build healthy connections with the world around us.

Seven steps toward questions of choice.

My Theory

Dear woman,

You are holding more than just a guide in your hands. My method gives you a map. Structure begins to appear: “Aha, first I need to do A, and then B.” The chaos disappears, and a plan emerges.

This is the foundation from which 90% of successful people begin.

And so, this is a practical tool created so that you do not simply read the text, but experience it through your body, your feelings, and your daily actions.

My method, “From Survival and Suffering Questions to Questions of Choice,” was born from my own pain, losses, and long journey back to myself.

It has been tested through my own experience and through the experiences of women who have walked this path.

I have also gained knowledge from other books and methods. But I want to tell you about my own approach because I achieved results with it!

However, this is definitely work on yourself and a journey that requires time, energy, and intention.

There are no abstract pieces of advice here — only concrete steps, exercises, and honest questions that will bring you back to yourself.

I wish you a meaningful and helpful reading!

There will be a lot of practical work at the end, so make sure you read all the way to the end)))

You Are Tired of Suffering…

I know this feeling very well.

I know what it is like to wake up in the morning and feel a heaviness inside.

I know what it is like to live with the feeling that every day is the same as the one before, while inside you, pain, exhaustion, disappointment, and despair gradually accumulate.

I know what it is like to promise yourself, “Starting tomorrow, everything will be different,” only to wake up the next morning in exactly the same state.

But one day, I realized something very important.

The cause of my pain, my despair, and my suffering was not in the outside world.

It was inside me.

I did not come to this realization immediately.

It took time.

A lot of time.

I had to go through my own mistakes, disappointments, losses, betrayals, fears, and moments when it seemed that I had no strength left.

Sometimes life literally brings a person to their knees only so that one day they can rise as a different person.

If you are reading these words right now, perhaps you are tired too.

Tired of suffering.

Tired of constantly fighting with yourself.

Tired of living as though life is passing you by.

And if a thought has already appeared inside you:

“I don’t want to live like this anymore,”

then this is the beginning.

If you are truly tired and want to learn how to stop suffering, then let us begin this journey together.

I do not promise that it will be easy.

But I promise that it will be real.

You Are Tired of Making Promises to Yourself That You Cannot Keep

Every time, you tell yourself that starting Monday, you will begin a new life.

That tomorrow you will definitely wake up earlier.

You will start exercising.

You will change your diet.

You will start learning a foreign language.

You will launch your own business.

You will write a book.

You will quit the job you hate.

You will end a toxic relationship.

You will finally start living the life you have dreamed about for so long.

But then one day passes.

Then another.

Then a week.

A month.

A year.

And once again, you find yourself in exactly the same place.

You cannot change your life.

Not because you are a weak person.

Not because you are lazy.

But because inside you, there has been a habit for a long time — the habit of postponing your own life until later.

You compare yourself to the people around you.

You look at other people’s achievements and think that everyone else has already accomplished something, while you have been left far behind.

Someone has built a business.

Someone has created a happy family.

Someone is traveling.

Someone is earning a lot of money.

Someone has made their dream come true.

And you feel as though you are standing still, asking yourself every day:

“Why not me? What is wrong with me?”

And the more often you ask yourself these questions, the less strength you have left to move forward.

Every day, you tell yourself:

“Tomorrow, I will definitely do everything differently.”

But tomorrow, for some reason, never comes.

Only a new today arrives — and then becomes yesterday once again.

And this is how months pass.

Sometimes years pass.

And sometimes an entire life passes.

But do you know what I realized?

If you are tired of yourself, if you are tired of living this way, if you no longer want to look for excuses, then this is good news.

Yes, exactly — good news.

Because as long as a person is satisfied with their life, they do not change anything.

As long as a person convinces themselves that everything is fine, they continue living out of habit.

But when a person becomes truly tired of themselves and of the way they are living — that is exactly when transformation begins.

That is why I want to tell you something important.

It is good that you have finally reached this point.

It is good that you have finally stopped lying to yourself.

It is good that one day you honestly said to yourself:

“I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

This is not the end.

This is the beginning.

And if you are holding my method in your hands right now, it means that you have already made your first choice in favor of your new life.

The first step is always the hardest.

But it is precisely that step that changes the direction of the entire journey.

In fact, not only are you tired of your excuses.

Most likely, your family is tired of them too.

The people who love you, worry about you, and want to see you happy keep hearing the same words over and over again:

“Later.”

“Now is not the right time.”

“I will definitely start.”

“I just haven’t been lucky lately.”

Perhaps your parents are tired because they can see how differently you could be living.

Perhaps your husband or wife is tired because they want to see a person beside them who is fully alive, rather than someone who is constantly postponing their own life.

Perhaps your children are tired because children always sense their parents’ emotional state.

They can feel when their mother or father is unhappy, even if no one ever says it out loud.

Perhaps your colleagues are tired.

They see that you are capable of so much more.

They see your knowledge, your abilities, and your potential.

They understand that you could hold a completely different position, lead major projects, earn more money, and live a different life.

But instead, you do nothing.

Or perhaps, on the contrary, they understand that you are simply not where you belong.

They see that your work does not bring you joy, that deep down you have been ready to leave for a long time, but you keep postponing the decision again and again because you are afraid.

Afraid of losing stability.

It is scary to start over.

It is scary to make a mistake.

It is scary to make a choice.

Of course, the people around you may support you. They may give you advice, share their experiences, try to guide you, and say the right words.

But the truth is that no advice will change your life until you yourself become tired of living the way you are living now.

Until you yourself become tired of your own excuses.

Until you yourself stop looking for reasons not to change anything.

Until you make the decision yourself.

This is a very important moment.

Change never begins with a book.

It does not begin with a motivational video.

It does not begin with advice from friends.

It begins with an inner decision.

With one honest conversation with yourself.

When you can no longer lie to yourself.

When you realize that if you do not change anything today, then a year from now, five years from now, or ten years from now, you will still be living exactly the same way.

That is the moment when a person wakes up.

I am convinced that everyone needs to awaken from this inner sleep at some point in their life.

So many people live as if they are on autopilot.

Wake up.

Go to work.

Come home.

Look at your phone.

Go to sleep.

And then the same thing happens day after day.

Week after week.

Year after year.

And at some point, a person suddenly realizes that life is passing by.

That is why you have to live here and now.

Not someday later.

Not after your vacation.

Not after the New Year.

Not after you have more money.

Not after someone else changes.

Not after Monday.

But now.

Because we have no other time.

There is only today.

There is only this minute.

There is only the present moment.

And right now, you can take the first step.

It does not have to be huge.

It does not have to be perfect.

But it has to be real.

Try to use your potential every minute of your life.

Do not postpone your dreams.

Do not wait for perfect conditions.

Perfect conditions do not exist.

Make your dreams come true.

Move toward your goals.

Listen to your heart.

Very often, your heart already knows the answers that your mind is afraid to accept.

Sometimes your heart tells you to move forward, while your mind begins searching for a thousand reasons not to.

And that is exactly when the most dangerous thing appears — excuses.

So one day, simply tell yourself:

“Enough. No more excuses.”

Excuses are lies.

They are lies that a person tells themselves.

We repeat the same explanations to ourselves so often that we eventually begin to believe them.

“Now is not the right time.”

“I started too late.”

“I am already too old.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“I don’t have the right connections.”

“I’m not smart enough.”

“I won’t succeed.”

But if you look honestly at these thoughts, you will realize that most of them are not facts.

They are fear disguised as excuses.

On the one hand, you cannot constantly shift responsibility onto other people.

You cannot spend your entire life blaming your parents, the government, your former partners, your boss, your friends, or your circumstances.

Yes, many things may have been unfair.

Yes, you may have been hurt.

Yes, you may have been betrayed.

Yes, you may not have been given the opportunities that others had.

But responsibility for what happens next belongs to you alone.

That is why the first thing you need to learn is to take responsibility for yourself.

For your decisions.

For your mistakes.

For your victories.

For your failures.

For your habits.

For your life.

Until a person takes responsibility for themselves, they cannot grow.

They cannot develop.

They cannot become stronger.

Because responsibility is the foundation of any transformation.

Without it, it is impossible to change your life.

But there is another extreme.

Some people become so dependent on other people’s opinions that they stop hearing themselves.

They are afraid of criticism.

Afraid of judgment.

Afraid that someone will say something unpleasant.

Afraid to take the first step.

I want you to understand one very important thing.

You can listen to other people’s opinions.

But only when those opinions come from people you genuinely respect.

From people who have built a life that you truly admire.

From people who love you.

From people who genuinely want the best for you.

And even then, not every word they say should become a law that governs your life.

Do not take criticism to heart from people who create nothing themselves.

Do not allow someone else’s negativity to control your decisions.

Do not constantly think:

“What if I don’t succeed?”

“What if people think badly of me?”

“What if I make a mistake?”

“What if people laugh at me?”

Because these very thoughts can keep a person stuck in the same place for years.

You are not losing days.

You are not losing months.

You are losing years of your life.

And all this time, you are moving farther and farther away from your dream, paying attention to the opinions of people who may have never helped you — not with advice, not with actions, and not with support.

Think about that.

Is the opinion of someone who has no real influence on your life truly worth giving up your dream for?

It does not matter what your nationality is.

It does not matter where you were born.

It does not matter how much money is currently sitting in your bank account.

It does not matter what your education is, how old you are, or how many mistakes you have already made.

If God gives you an opportunity to change your destiny, you should not let it pass you by.

You should not sit and cry because someone else turned out to be luckier than you.

You should not convince yourself that you are unworthy of a better life.

Because that is not true.

You have the same right to be happy.

You have the same right to succeed.

You have the same right to make your dreams come true.

You have the same right to take advantage of the opportunities that life gives you.

Sometimes these opportunities truly come unexpectedly.

Sometimes it feels as though they simply fall into our hands.

And do you know what most people do?

They start to doubt.

They begin to think:

“Maybe this isn’t for me.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve this.”

“Maybe it’s just a coincidence.”

And then they walk right past their opportunity.

Don’t do that.

If life opens a door for you — walk through it.

If God sends you an opportunity — accept it with gratitude.

Sometimes a single opportunity can change the entire course of a person’s life.

Start each day with inspiration.

This does not mean that you have to live with rose-colored glasses on and pretend that problems do not exist.

No.

There will be problems.

There will be difficulties.

There will be failures.

But every day, you can choose what to fill your mind with.

From the very beginning of the day, you can choose which thoughts will accompany you throughout the day.

Start your morning with motivation.

Read books.

Listen to lectures.

Watch motivational videos.

Watch interviews with people who inspire you.

Observe those who are already living the life you dream of living.

Follow the blogs of people who make you want to become a better version of yourself, rather than those who make you feel worse about yourself.

Because information is also a form of nourishment.

Only it is nourishment for our minds.

And if you feed your mind every day with anxiety, fear, negativity, an endless stream of bad news, scandals, conflicts, and other people’s problems, then after some time, that very state will begin to grow inside you.

Without even realizing it, you will begin to have thoughts like:

“Everything is too difficult.”

“It’s already too late to change anything.”

“I will never become successful.”

“I’m not smart enough.”

“Other people are better at it.”

“I will never be able to do the same.”

“Maybe this simply isn’t for me.”

And gradually, these thoughts begin to control a person.

The person stops taking action.

Stops believing.

Stops dreaming.

And eventually, stops living.

I always say one simple thing:

Pay attention to what you say.

Pay attention to the words you speak out loud.

Many people believe that words are just words.

But I think differently.

I am convinced that every word has power.

If you think that no one hears your words, you are mistaken.

You hear them yourself.

Your mind hears every word.

Your subconscious hears every word.

And if you believe that thoughts have the power to manifest into reality, then you should understand even more clearly how important it is to pay attention to what you think about and what you say every day.

I believe that none of our thoughts or words simply disappear without a trace.

They transform.

They become our inner state.

They become our beliefs.

They become our decisions.

And our decisions eventually become our lives.

So start with your thoughts.

Start with what you say to yourself.

Instead of:

“I won’t succeed,”

say:

“I can do this.”

Instead of:

“I lost,”

say:

“I am learning.”

Instead of:

“I am a failure,”

say:

“I am a person who is moving toward my goal.”

I often tell myself:

“I am a winner.”

“My dreams will come true.”

“God has a plan for me.”

And these words give me the strength to keep moving forward, even when things are difficult.

If you do not know where to begin when it comes to changing your life, start with something simple.

You do not need to try to change absolutely everything at once.

You do not need to wait for the perfect moment.

Start with one small action.

For example, just as I once did, start learning a foreign language.

Not because it is fashionable.

But because every new piece of knowledge expands your world.

Every new word is already a step forward.

Every new habit is already a new version of yourself.

Or start writing.

Take an ordinary notebook.

Not a beautiful one.

Not an expensive one.

Just the simplest notebook you can find.

And simply begin writing down your thoughts.

Write honestly.

Write as if you are talking to yourself.

Do not think about someone else reading it.

Do not try to write beautifully.

Write sincerely.

Perhaps one day, you will write a book too.

Just as it happened to me.

When I first started writing down my thoughts, I could never have imagined that one day they would turn into books that other people would read.

Everything great begins with something small.

With one page.

With one thought.

With one decision.

Surround yourself with people who inspire you.

People who make you want to become a better version of yourself.

Get rid of information overload.

Get rid of unnecessary noise.

Stop letting just anything into your mind.

Today, thousands of sources of information compete for our attention.

News.

Social media.

Arguments.

Conflicts.

Other people’s lives.

Other people’s opinions.

Other people’s problems.

But think about it.

How much of this truly makes you happier?

How much of this information helps you become stronger?

Very little.

That is why you need to learn how to protect your inner space.

Focus primarily on yourself.

On your personal growth.

On your work.

On your health.

On your goals.

And, of course, on the people closest to you.

Because it is precisely those closest to us who become our source of support during the most difficult periods of our lives.

And there is one more thought that I sincerely believe in.

You do not need to share every thought you have with the people around you.

Some thoughts should be entrusted only to people you truly trust.

And some — only to God.

There are conversations that take place in silence.

There are prayers that only God can hear.

And it is often after these conversations that an incredible sense of peace is born within a person.

Because sometimes a person does not need advice.

Sometimes they simply need to be heard.

Even if the only one listening is God.

When you begin writing your thoughts in a notebook, be sure to write about your goals and desires.

Do not be afraid to dream.

Do not be afraid to write down things that seem too big or even impossible to you right now.

Remember: your desires do not appear for no reason.

If there is a dream inside you, then somewhere deep within you there is already a part of you that believes it is possible.

So many people limit themselves.

They do not even allow themselves to want more.

They think:

“This is not for me.”

“Opportunities like that are only available to other people.”

“I will never reach that level.”

But who said you cannot?

Who decided that you are the one who is not allowed to?

Why can one person change their life while another gives up on themselves before they even begin?

The difference is often just one thing — choice.

You can choose to suffer.

You can choose to remember the past every single day.

You can choose to return to your mistakes again and again.

You can choose to live in pain.

Or you can choose to live.

And it is this choice that changes everything.

Do you know why I talk about choice so often?

Because many people think that their lives are determined entirely by circumstances.

They say:

“This is just my destiny.”

“I was simply unlucky.”

“There is nothing I can change.”

But that is not entirely true.

Yes, there are situations in life that we do not choose.

We do not choose where we are born.

We do not choose our family.

We do not choose certain losses.

We do not choose the betrayal of other people.

We do not choose illness or difficult periods in our lives.

But we can always choose what we do next.

This is where true human strength begins.

Not when everything is going well.

But when life is difficult and we still choose to move forward.

If you feel afraid to make a choice, that is normal.

In fact, it can be a good sign.

Because fear often appears precisely where growth begins.

Where you step outside your familiar life.

Where you begin to become a new person.

You do not need to think:

“If I am afraid, it means I am not ready.”

No.

Sometimes fear means that you are standing right in front of something important.

The key is not to allow fear to control your life.

You need to look fear directly in the eyes.

Do not run away.

Do not pretend it does not exist.

Instead, acknowledge it:

“Yes, I am afraid.”

“Yes, I am afraid of making a mistake.”

“Yes, I am afraid that I might fail.”

But despite all of this — I am moving forward.

Because courage is not the absence of fear.

Courage is taking action despite fear.

I know this not simply from books.

I have experienced it myself.

My journey toward my goals was very difficult and full of obstacles.

And in the beginning, I had fears too.

The same fears that you may be experiencing right now.

I was afraid.

I doubted myself.

I wondered what would happen if I failed.

But then I began working on myself.

I began working with my thoughts.

With my consciousness.

With my attitude toward life.

And gradually, I realized something:

Fear does not disappear when we avoid it.

It disappears when we stop running away from it.

I even had an unusual experience.

At some point, my fear came to me in my dreams.

I began having dreams in which it would appear.

It was almost as if it were a separate person.

In my dream, it stood in front of me in the form of a man.

That was my fear.

At first, I was extremely afraid.

Every one of these dreams ended with intense tension and stress.

I would wake up feeling as though I had truly lived through that encounter.

Sometimes, after these dreams, I would notice gray hairs on my head.

Two or three hairs after each such dream.

It did not happen every day, but the fear kept coming back.

It returned again and again.

And do you know what was most interesting?

My fear, which had previously lived in my real life, seemed to have moved into my dreams.

There, in my dreams, my mind continued to fight it.

And one day I thought:

“I don’t want this anymore.”

“I don’t want to be afraid even in my dreams.”

“I want to be in control of this.”

And that was when I began doing what I had learned through my work on myself.