Ева Ханамирян
REBOOT AFTER DIVORCE

JAN WOMAN

REBOOT AFTER DIVORCE

A practical guide for a woman starting life from a clean slate in a new country

Special for the JAN WOMAN project. An encyclopedia of survival, recovery, and financial independence.

Introduction. A clean slate under a foreign sky

Darling, if you are holding this guide in your hands, it means an earthquake has occurred in your life, splitting the world into "before" and "after." Divorce is colossal stress under normal conditions. But when divorce happens in a new country, without a stable income, with a burden of debts, without a job of your own, or completed education, it is a crisis of the highest degree of complexity.

Perhaps years ago you made a choice in favor of the family: you listened to your husband, dissolved in his interests, gave up your studies, career, and personal ambitions for the sake of a common "family hearth." You thought this was a reliable rear guard. As a result, you were left with two children in your arms, with shattered nerves, gray hair, sometimes without knowledge of the language or status, with empty pockets and a heavy baggage of obligations. And the worst thing you might feel right now is paralyzing fear: "How to survive? Where to go? What to feed the children tomorrow?"

"My sweet, hear me: your despair is completely valid. You have the right to cry, scream from helplessness, and feel devastated. But right now, promise yourself one thing: you will not give up. What looks like the end of the world is actually a painful, but powerful liberation from illusions."

This expanded guide from the JAN WOMAN project is not created for beautiful metaphors. It is a harsh, practical, step-by-step roadmap for survival, legal protection, financial recovery, and building a new life from scratch. We will walk this path together step by step.

The psychology of survival: how not to go crazy when everything has collapsed

When you have two children and no right to make a mistake, you do not have the luxury of plunging into depression for years. However, suppressing emotions is also impossible—psychosomatics will not keep you waiting. Your task for the first weeks is to implement a regime of emotional resource conservation.

• Legalization of pain: Stop being ashamed of your tears and fatigue. Gray hair and ruined nerves are a physical reflection of that colossal burden that you dragged alone. Acknowledge: "Yes, I am scared and hurt. But I am alive, and my children are with me."

• Information vacuum for the ex: No viewing of his social networks, attempts to figure out relationships, or hopes that he will come to his senses. The person who left you and two children in a vulnerable position in a foreign country is emotionally switched off from your safety. Close this door.

• Focus on the "here and now":