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“I miss seeing Ms. Josie,” Lily put in, still campaigning.
“Miss Cane let you and Alyssa take off after the tornado. She’s not responsible.”
That Lily had been found safe was no thanks to Miss Cane, who had let her and her friend slip out in the first place.
Lily sighed again. “I hate sitting by myself at home, Daddy.”
More guilt piled onto his shoulders.
“It was Alyssa’s idea to sneak out when we had that tornado, you know.”
“Which is another reason you shouldn’t be hanging around with Alyssa.” This conversation was well-tilled ground. But his daughter was persistent and each time approached it from another angle as if hoping to unearth some new argument to convince him.
“But she’s my twin friend. And she has a really pretty aunt.”
Silas wasn’t about to dispute the pretty-aunt part of her statement. Josie Cane was the kind of woman who would make any man look twice and then again. Tall with blond hair rivalling ripe Kansas grain and a smile inviting a response.
And a reputation that preceded her.
It was a good thing he wasn’t looking and he wasn’t interested. The long, slow loss of his wife, Kelly, had squeezed his heart to nothing. When the first clumps of dirt were dropped on her coffin, his heart had closed like a fist on his memories and his pain. He hadn’t talked about Kelly nor encouraged Lily to do the same. He was tired of hurt and pain.
“Doesn’t matter how pretty she is.” Silas made his voice gruff to show Lily he was serious. “I want you home.”
Where I can make sure you’re safe, he added to himself.
“But Alyssa told me that Ms. Josie is doing baking at the church. For the workers who are building the town again. Ms. Josie said we all have to do our part and I want to help, too. I want to learn how to bake, then I can make cupcakes and muffins, like Mommy used to.”
In spite of the sadness the memories brought, Silas had to smile. Kelly was wonder and joy and love, but she was no baker. Each attempt created a potential health hazard.
“And I won’t be so lonely after school when you’re doing all your work,” she continued, her voice growing earnest. “And you won’t have to keep checking on me. Ms. Josie said she’d gladly take me back again.”
Silas was wavering. He had a ton of work to do today and he had already been juggling his timelines, trying to figure out how he was supposed to stop what he was doing in time to pick Lily up from school every day. Since the tornado, he’d been driving her back and forth instead of letting her take the school bus.
“Oh, look, someone is working on the roof of the Old Town Hall.” Lily pointed out her window as they turned onto Main Street. “Ms. Josie said people want it ready for Christmas. For Founders’ Day. Ms. Josie said it will be a healing celebration.”
“Ms. Josie obviously says a lot of things,” Silas muttered, glancing in the direction Lily pointed. The sight of the half-finished building sent the same pang through him that he had felt when he first saw the destruction of the Old Town Hall. He and Kelly had been married there.
He pushed the memory back. Rebuilding the Old Town Hall seemed a waste of time. The old could never be replaced. It wouldn’t be the same. All those memories were best left gone with the building when it was destroyed.
“What is Founders’ Day?” Lily asked, suddenly animated. “Is that when people who lost things find them again? Like the place they set up for people who lost stuff after the tornado?”
Silas chuckled at her description. “No, honey. I heard it has something to do with the friendship of the two men who started this town, a Mr. Logan and a Mr. Garrison.”
“Like Reverend Garrison? Who works at the church?”
“He’s a relative.”
“Reverend Garrison is a nice man.” Lily sighed. “Alyssa always goes to church on Sunday to hear him preach. I wish we could go again.”
Silas made no comment to that as he turned the truck in to the school parking lot. Since Kelly died, he had stayed away from church and God. Just keeping the boundaries marked off. God: up there and silent. Him: down here and busy. Never the two shall meet.
Silas parked the truck, pulled off his seat belt and turned off the truck.
“Don’t get out of the truck yet, Daddy,” Lily said, grabbing his arm.
Silas, his hand already on the handle, stopped, shooting his daughter a frown. “Why not?”
“I have something for you.” She scooted across the seat and threw her arms around her father’s neck. “Happy birthday, Daddy,” she said, adding a noisy kiss. Then she gave him the bag she’d carried into the truck.
As he took the bag he felt a jolt of all-too-familiar guilt. She had remembered his birthday. Had planned for it.
He remembered how he had completely forgotten hers.
“Why, honey—” He swallowed down a surprising knot of pain. “Thank you. What is it?”
“You’re supposed to open it and find out.” Lily sat back with a self-satisfied grin.
Puzzled, Silas pulled out the package wrapped in a plastic grocery bag. When he unwrapped the framed picture, he did a double take.
Why had his daughter given him a picture of Josie Cane?
He masked his confusion and gave Lily a careful smile. “Thanks, honey. This is an interesting present.”
“I got the picture from Alyssa for my birthday. And I think you need to have a picture of someone in your bedroom again. Like you used to have of Mommy.”
The woman smiling back at Silas from the picture looked as if she was laughing at a secret joke, her long blond hair blowing away from her face. Her eyes held a hint of mischief, which made Silas think the stories about Josie’s wild past held some truth.
“That’s very nice. Thank you, Lily.” He put the picture back in the bag, but didn’t tell his daughter there was no way he was filling the spot that once held a picture of his beloved wife with a picture of this woman.
Lily sat back in her seat, her arms hugging her backpack, obviously not ready to leave yet. “Do you think she’s pretty?”
“As pretty as she needs to be.”
“I like Ms. Josie.”
He gathered that. “I’m sure she’s very nice.”
“And she’s a good teacher.”
She gave him a sweet smile, which immediately made him suspicious. “I want to go to the after-school program again, Daddy. Can I? Please?”
Bingo. Silas heaved a sigh, marveling at her persistence. “We’re not talking about that now, Lily.”
Lily glanced over her shoulder again. “Can you please walk me to the school?”
Where did that come from? She was usually out the door and down the sidewalk before the truck rolled completely to a stop. Now she wanted him to walk her to the door?
“Of course.” He got out, still puzzled.
The banging of hammers from various parts of town competed with the whine of saws as he walked around the truck to where Lily waited. Work was going on all over town, still repairing the damage from the tornado.
Thankfully the school had been spared the worst of the damage and classes hadn’t been interrupted.
“Lily. Hi.” A little girl’s voice called out over the noise in the town just as Silas caught up with his daughter.
He turned and came face-to-face with a young girl holding the hand of the woman whose framed photo lay faceup on the seat of his truck. He shot a quick glance at his truck, wondering if Josie would have seen it as she walked past.
“Good morning, Mr. Marstow,” Josie said.
“Ms. Cane.”
Her smile wasn’t nearly as friendly and open as the one in his picture and he was surprised at the touch of disappointment this created. But he tipped his hat all polite and gentlemanly, then smiled at Alyssa.
As he always was when he saw her, he was surprised how much Alyssa and Lily were alike. Same red hair. Same tip-tilted nose. Same slight build. Even Alyssa’s sparkling green eyes held the same hint of mischief that Lily’s could, which was probably why they were so close.
But the resemblance ended with their clothing. Where his daughter wore a faded Hannah Montana T-shirt, Alyssa wore a white button-up shirt so bright it hurt his eyes. Lily’s pants had grass stains on the knees while Alyssa wore a cute, ruffled pink skirt and striped white, pink and green knee socks.
And Alyssa’s shining red hair was done up in neat, fat braids tied with green-and-pink ribbons.
The girls looked like “before” and “after” pictures for laundry detergent.
“Did you start baking yet?” Lily asked, catching Ms. Josie by the hand. “’Cause I asked my dad if I could come to learn how to bake, and he said maybe.”
“We would love to have you come back to the class,” Josie said, shooting a puzzled glance his way.
He knew exactly what the question in her eyes was about. Once the phones were up and running in High Plains, he had called her and told her Lily wouldn’t be attending the class anymore.
He had been diplomatic enough not to accuse her of carelessness, but she seemed to have drawn that conclusion. She had offered more apologies, but he was firm. He had said he wasn’t going to compromise the safety of his daughter. Which made her mad. Which, in turn, made him mad.
They hadn’t talked or seen each other since then.
“What are you making today?” Lily asked, swinging Ms. Josie’s hand, her wide, happy smile creating a surprising spurt of jealousy in Silas. She never smiled like that at him.
“We’re making cupcakes,” Alyssa, holding Ms. Josie’s other hand, put in.
“I want to learn how to make birthday cupcakes. For my dad. It’s his birthday today, Ms. Josie.”
“Is it, now?” Josie glanced back again at Silas. “Happy birthday, Mr. Marstow.”
“Thank you, Ms. Cane,” he said, stepping aside to let a group of laughing children slip past him.
“He’s not very old yet, you know?” Lily said. “Do you think he’s old?”
“I think he’s exactly as old as he needs to be,” Josie said, tilting her head to one side as she looked at him as if making sure.
“You sound like my dad,” Lily said with a grin. “He said that you’re as pretty as you need to be.”
“Really?” Thankfully Josie didn’t look at him.
“Do you want to come over to my house for a birthday party?” Lily asked. “Daddy, can we have a birthday party for you at our house? Can Ms. Josie and Alyssa come?”
A gust of wind picked up Josie’s hair and tossed it away from her face and, as she smiled, she looked even prettier than her picture.
And for a moment he couldn’t look away.
Silas yanked his attention back to his daughter, frustrated with the vague reaction Josie had created in him. He had no intention of going down that road again.
“We’re not having a birthday party,” Silas quickly added.
“I don’t mind if she comes to the class,” Josie put in. “There’s enough room for her.”
Silas thought of the work he had waiting at home and the convenience of working straight through until late afternoon before coming to get Lily.
He scratched his temple with his index finger, trying to decide. Lily would be over the moon and out of his hair, and he wouldn’t have to feel guilty about her watching television all the time.
“When he does that scratching his head thing? That means he’s thinking,” Lily said to Alyssa.
Josie pressed her lips together, stifling a smile.
“I’ve got a lot to do,” Silas said, feeling as if he needed to put up a bit more resistance. “I’m not sure it will work.”
“If you’re busy it would be a good thing that Lily comes,” Alyssa said. “Then you can work all day.”
Silas glanced from one girl to the other, feeling as if he was being played like a cheap guitar.
“I promise I’ll take care of her.” Josie’s husky voice held a touching vulnerability. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that she and Alyssa got away from me that day of the tornado, and I realize you were frantic with worry, because so was I.” Josie looked down at the girls. “And if these two promise to never do anything like that again, I’m sure we can believe them.”
As she raised her brown eyes to his, bits and pieces of other conversations intruded. “Raising Cane,” one of the guys at the feed store had called her, alluding to her wild past. A young man, apparently a onetime fellow classmate, followed this up with stories of some heavy-duty partying on Josie’s part.
Silas didn’t know any of the stories personally. He had moved here ten years ago from Colorado. Then he met Kelly, fell in love and got engaged. They were full of hopes, dreams and plans. Silas had dreamed Kansas was where it was going to happen for him and it had. He and Kelly started their life and those first few years he and Kelly had been too involved in their own plans to get caught up in the comings and goings in High Plains.
So all he knew about Josie Cane was that she had lived it up and partied hard until her sister died, leaving her with an orphaned niece.
Could he really trust this woman with his daughter?
“Please, Daddy. Please. I’ll be so good.” Lily ran up to him and grabbed his hand. “And I won’t complain about watching television while you work or eating grilled-cheese sandwiches for supper every night.”
Didn’t that make her life sound completely pathetic compared to baking cupcakes with the lovely Ms. Josie? What else could he do but give in?
“If you could have her for today, that would help me out for now,” he said.
“I promise to take good care of her,” Josie said.
The ringing of the school bell broke into the morning. Josie bent over to give Alyssa a hug. “Have a good day, sweetie.” Josie tweaked the ribbon on the little girl’s braid, then stroked her cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you, Auntie Josie.”
“Bye, Daddy.” Lily tossed off a wave, grabbed Alyssa’s hand and the two of them ran off, Alyssa’s perfect braids bouncing on her shoulders and Lily’s crooked ponytail bobbing behind her.
The school doors fell shut behind the girls and Josie turned to him, pushing her hair back from her face. “Thanks for letting her come to the program,” Josie said with a careful smile. “Alyssa has been after me for the past couple months to get Lily to come, but I knew how you felt about it.”
“But they see each other every day at school.”
Josie lifted her hand, then let it drop in a what-can-I-do gesture. “I don’t understand the obsession with seeing each other every day, either, but I’m learning as I go.”
Silas gave a short laugh. “I feel like every day there’s something else I don’t know.”
“And just when you’ve got it, they throw something new at you.”
Like a picture of their teacher.
“So I just let her come to the class? I don’t have to do anything else?”
Josie shook her head, then glanced down.
Silas followed the direction of her gaze and saw her twist her wrist as she checked her watch.
Time to push off.
“Then I’ll see you later today,” he said, taking a step backward. “Gotta run.”
“I promised my grandmother I’d be back right away,” Josie added as if she felt the need to explain. “And I hope you have a happy birthday.”
Silas thought once again about the birthday present lying on the seat of his truck.
And what was he supposed to do about that?
Chapter Two
“So what are you staring at?” Nicki’s voice pulled Josie’s attention away from Silas, who was getting into his truck.
“Nothing,” Josie said with an airy tone, tucking her hair behind her ear in a casual gesture. She gave the toddler perched on Nicki’s hip a gentle smile, hoping to distract her friend. “Hey, Kasey, how are you?”
Kasey blinked, then turned her face into Nicki’s slender shoulder, her fingers tangling in Nicki’s long blond hair.
“She’s out of sorts today,” Nicki said with a wistful smile. “She had a bad night.”
Josie gently touched the toddler’s wispy hair. “Nightmares, you think?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. I know I would have nightmares if I was found wandering alone on the riverbank, after a tornado had just swept through town.” Nicki shuddered. “It still gives me the creeps to think how close she came to drowning.”
“And still no word from her parents?”
Nicki shook her head, holding Kasey even closer. “Not since those people falsely claimed they knew her, hoping to cash in on the fund set up for her.”
Josie shook her head. “I still can’t believe people would do that.”
The sound of a truck caught Josie’s attention and as she glanced sidelong, she caught sight of Silas driving past. He was watching her. She flushed again and turned in time to see her friend give her a thoughtful nod.
“He’s good-looking enough. In a broody sort of way,” Nicki said with a teasing smile.
“Not my type,” Josie said with a dismissive wave of her hand. Besides, he was a widower with a young daughter. Her life was complicated and messy enough.
She glanced at her watch. “I gotta run. My grandmother doesn’t appreciate being left alone too long.”
“How’s she doing?” Nicki asked.
Josie waggled her hand. “Not great. She’s still in a lot of pain.”
“I’m sad for her, but at the same time, happy for me. Because the longer you stay here, the longer I have to convince you to change your mind about moving away.”
Josie tried not to respond to the wistful tone in her friend’s voice, but it was the plaintive look in her blue eyes that almost did her in. “I can’t, Nicki. You know that no matter what I do, my grandmother won’t let me forget who I was and what I used to do.” She had struggled and prayed over her difficult decision to move. Since she had taken in Alyssa, her life had changed but it seemed her grandmother hadn’t accepted that or forgotten Josie’s part. And now, even worse, her grandmother was turning her disapproving eye on Alyssa, as well. “And it seems many of the people in this town are determined to remember, as well.”
“How can you say that? Everyone in town thinks you’re great. You help everywhere help is needed. Since the tornado, you’ve been working your fingers to the bone.” She shifted Kasey to her other side, absently stroking the toddler’s head with her cheek. “And that stuff you used to do—surely your grandmother can’t still hold that against you?”
Josie sighed. “It seems she does. And if anything, having her live with me has proved to me more and more the necessity of leaving.”
“But Alyssa and Lily…” Nicki let the sentence trail off.
Josie fought her own guilt over Alyssa. She knew how close she and Lily were and how devastated her niece would be to leave her best friend behind, but it couldn’t be helped.
Another quick glance at her watch showed her she had to move on.
“Sorry, Nicki. I really gotta run.”
“Will you still cover my preschool class after lunch? I’ve got to take Kasey to the doctor.”
“Absolutely. Drive safe.”
“And I’m going to be praying something will happen to you to make you change your mind.”
Josie just laughed. “It would take quite something for that to happen. See you.”
Josie hurried down the street, glancing at her watch again, feeling a moment of guilt as she remembered doing the same in front of Silas. She couldn’t help it. In the past month, time had become her nemesis.
After the tornado had left her and Alyssa’s home uninhabitable, they had moved temporarily into one of the cottages belonging to the Waters family along the river.
And when her grandmother was discharged from the hospital, unable to take care of herself, unable to walk and also unable to move into her home, she had moved in with Josie and Alyssa.
Every day was spent caring for her grandmother and Alyssa, dealing with an insurance company who required endless reams of paperwork, making lists and appointments for her grandmother and trying not to grieve the loss of the things she had owned.
Josie hurried up the walk to the house. This morning the physiotherapist was coming for her grandmother, then she had promised Nicki that she would cover her preschool class after lunch.
Then she had to get what she needed for her own baking class later that afternoon.
As Josie ran up the temporary wheelchair ramp to the cottage, she heard her grandmother’s shrill voice calling her name.
And she paused, her fingertips resting on the door.
Please, Lord, give me patience. Help me to care for my grandmother as I should. She waited a moment, as if waiting for a quick answer to that prayer to come raining down from Heaven, then she turned the knob and stepped into the cottage.
“I’ve been waiting for hours,” Mrs. Carter called out as Josie walked down the narrow hall to her grandmother’s room. “Where were you?”
Her grandmother lay on the bed, clutching the blankets, her frown indicating her displeasure with her granddaughter. The early-morning sun slanting in highlighted the frown lines puckering her grandmother’s forehead and the lines of disapproval bracketing her pinched lips.
Betty Carter’s long hair, her grandmother’s pride, was already neatly brushed, waiting for Josie to put it up in the chignon Betty had worn from the day she was a bride.
“Alyssa wanted me to bring her to school today,” Josie said, walking to the bed.
“Girl is up to something. You better keep an eye on her.” Betty caught the bar that had been installed specially for her and eased herself to a sitting position. “I think she’s headed for trouble. Just like you.”
The stream of negativity made Josie wonder again why she hadn’t listened to the doctor’s suggestion to put her grandmother in a short-term care facility instead of trying to take care of Betty herself.
No one would have faulted her. Josie was trying to rebuild her life one piece at a time. She had the responsibility of her niece and she had her job and she had her plans. More than enough for one person.
But when Josie had found out her grandmother was being discharged early, she knew exactly why she had to take Betty into her own home instead.
Guilt. The eternal motivator.
Guilt over the fact that her grandmother had lain, in pain from a broken femur and shattered collarbone, for four hours after the tornado struck her home before rescue workers got to her. Guilt over not spending enough time with her grandmother when she was in the hospital. Guilt over a sketchy past Josie had tried to leave behind but one her grandmother would dredge up time and time again.
And threaded through this all was the slim hope that one day her grandmother would grant her scarce approval, turning to Josie with a smile instead of her habitual scowl.
“Alyssa is a good girl,” Josie said quietly, defending her niece. “Just like her mother.”
“You better hope she takes after Trisha—otherwise you’ll have your hands full. Like I did. Visits from the cops. Phone calls from other parents. You were nothing like Trisha and even less like your mother. Debbie was a good daughter and a good mother. Good thing she didn’t live to see what happened to her girls. One dead and the other nothing but trouble….”
Josie closed her ears to her grandmother’s litany of shame as she helped Betty Carter to the edge of the bed, moving her just as the physiotherapist had shown her the last time she had come for a home visit.
“Just put your arm over my shoulder and we’ll go up on the count of three. Ready?”
A few quick maneuvers had her grandmother in the wheelchair.
“My goodness, girl, could you be any rougher?” Betty frowned as she tried to get herself settled, pulling her pink, fleecy housecoat around her with one arm. “That collarbone will never heal if you aren’t more careful and you made my leg hurt. Again.”
“What would you like for breakfast, Gramma?” Josie ignored Betty’s complaints as she shifted the wheelchair through the doorway. The temporary living arrangements had never been meant to be wheelchair accessible, but thankfully a volunteer who had come to High Plains to help with the rebuilding had built a rough ramp up to the front door.