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For Cheryl, whose courage, humor and strength
inspire me constantly, and inspired the idea for
Lily’s story. Thanks for the working lunches, the
laughs and the Internet jokes. You’re a champion.
For Mary Hawkins. The mountains are inevitable.
Thanks for climbing a little of this one with me.
And for my editor, Joanne Carr. Thanks so much.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EPILOGUE
COMING NEXT MONTH
CHAPTER ONE
‘A RE you Zachary Swift?’ Lily stood in the doorway of the spacious eighteenth-floor Sydney office, and pushed words up through a throat filled with fear. She hoped she sounded calm and rational, and not worried sick. ‘I’m Lily Kellaway, owner and manager of Best Secretarial Agency. I’m here in response to your…concerns about my employee.’
He could refuse to speak to her. Could have her and her agency blackballed, and end her career just like that. Lily knew it, feared it, but if she wanted any chance to make this situation right she had to sound confident, a woman who could and would make things better.
‘I’m Zach Swift, yes, and it’s no idle accusation against Rochelle Farrer.’ He sat at his desk, broad shoulders pressed into a black leather chair, confidence and assurance written in every line of his body.
Sydney’s leaden April sky loomed behind him, viewed through a bank of plate-glass windows. Through a long, slim grill above those windows, the sounds of a city that never stopped emphasised his decisive words—vehicles possessing the roads below, the blast and clang of construction, a siren’s blare.
Firm, determined sounds, when Lily only wanted to hear his deep voice softening, inviting her in to discuss this problem face to face.
‘I don’t dispute your accusation.’ She wished she could disprove it, but, sadly, it was all true. ‘But it’s one that can be addressed. Amends can be made. The situation can be fixed.’
‘Is that why you’re here? To try to fix what happened? There’s no turning back the clock.’ Dark brows drew down. His lean, tanned face revealed his irritation. ‘I think I made my feelings quite clear when we spoke by phone half an hour ago.’
She recalled the shock of that phone call very well. Dismay and embarrassment had robbed her of the ability to reason with him. While she’d still been floundering, he had told her he wanted nothing more to do with her agency, and had hung up.
‘You raised certain issues when you phoned.’ The empty secretary’s desk in the reception room at her back mocked her. Her fingers clenched around the notebook held in her left hand, and she prayed that he would listen. ‘I’d like the chance to address those issues, now that I’ve had time to assimilate what’s happened.’
Please, God, she wouldn’t forget the speech rehearsed three times on the frantic taxi trip here.
‘What’s to address? I sacked your employee. I’ve sacked your agency. End of story.’ With an irritated growl, he rose and stalked across the thick beige carpet until he stood before her.
Over six feet of annoyed, affronted male, and her agency was responsible for his anger. She quaked. But something else happened, too. Something quick and unexpected when her gaze zeroed in on thick-fringed hazel eyes. A mixture of curiosity and interest flowed through her, locked her breath in her throat. Shock and dismay followed. She couldn’t be attracted to him? It must be some sort of nervous reaction, surely?
Yes, that must be it, and just as well, because all other facts aside she was too busy for a relationship with a man right now. Busy. Inadequate. Just look at your relationship with your parents, a silent voice interjected. ‘All I ask is a few minutes of your time. If you’ll hear me out, those minutes will be well invested.’
‘Will they, Ms Kellaway? You seem very sure of that.’
Lily adjusted the weight of the tote bag slung over her shoulder, tugged her green skirt into place and smoothed the matching blazer. ‘I have a solution.’
‘Do you? For the past week I’ve been sexually stalked while your employee ignored her duties.’ His narrowed eyes revealed his distaste. ‘My working life has been thoroughly wrecked, culminating in this morning’s episode. Your agency is responsible for that, and you want to solve my problem?’
Lily drew a sharp breath. Something mellow and male drifted across her senses. Cedar wood and citrus, heated by warm man. ‘I do apologise…’ The words trailed off as her attention seemed to shift of its own volition to the black leather sofa in the corner.
He followed her gaze, and his lips thinned. ‘Were you aware I would walk in on that particular sight today? Perhaps your agency condones such behaviour in its temp secretaries?’
‘I was certainly not aware that Rochelle had behaved in such a way, or that she might do so.’ Lily had no doubt that this indelible piece of conversation would stick like a barnacle to the inside of her head. ‘If I’d known, I never would have employed her. Until now, I’ve not had a whiff of trouble from any of my employees.’
‘Then how did it happen, Ms Kellaway?’ He strode away, clasped the edges of the desk in long-fingered hands. An intense and focussed scrutiny demanded her answer. ‘How was it that I walked into my office this morning to find Rochelle Farrer waiting naked for me on my sofa?’
Lily’s hand shook as she snared a few errant strands of hair and pushed them back off her face. Rochelle had believed if she’d stripped off and waited this man would leap at the chance to have her, and afterwards to keep her. She hadn’t hesitated to say so, when Lily had confronted her by phone as she’d rushed here to try to put things to rights. ‘Rochelle…appeared to be under the misapprehension that she could, uh—’
‘Marry a rich husband and live off his wealth for the rest of her life?’ He inserted the words with freezing helpfulness. ‘And she only needed to throw herself at her potential victim to get her wish?’
‘Well, yes.’ Lily’s mouth tightened into a stiff pucker. He might be angry, but the interview with Rochelle hadn’t exactly been pleasant for her, either! ‘I didn’t know Rochelle would sell herself that way for the chance to become a wealthy man’s wife. When I interviewed her, she seemed very genuine and businesslike.’
His prolonged silence made her want to fidget. And she wanted desperately to use her notebook to try to get down what they had said so far.
At least she only had to be here long enough to get him to agree to take Deborah on. Then she could return to the safety of running her agency from her small apartment. To days filled with the transcription typing that allowed her to remain out of harm’s way, where her shortcomings couldn’t get her into trouble. To only venturing out when she felt up to the challenge.
He examined her with disconcerting thoroughness. Eventually, he dipped his head slightly in acknowledgement. ‘Surprisingly, I believe you.’
‘Thank you.’ Her knees sagged with the weight of that gratefully received reprieve. ‘I’m so pleased to hear you say—’
‘Not that it changes anything.’ He burst her bubble of hope expertly and without waste of words. ‘Rochelle didn’t exactly deliver on your agency’s promise of “a reliable secretary with previous experience in busy, challenging office environments”, did she?’
‘No. She didn’t.’
And, while Lily stood in his doorway and attempted to sort this out, she was at a distinct disadvantage. ‘I respect your concerns, and the distaste you must feel for all that you’ve been through. But I have an offer to make that can turn this situation into something more positive. I believe it will be in your company’s best interests to hear it.’
After a long moment, he sighed and waved an arm towards the studded visitor’s chair that faced his desk. ‘All right, I suppose I can spare you a few minutes in comfort. If we’re lucky, the phone might even stay quiet for that long.’
He didn’t clarify, ‘a few minutes to settle this permanently before I contact a more reliable agency and get them to send me a decent secretary’, but she had no doubt he thought it.
‘Thank you.’ She started towards the chair. ‘All I want is enough of your time to allow me to resolve this matter.’
‘As far as I’m concerned the matter is…’ His words faltered. His gaze locked on the movement of her hips beneath the conservative green skirt. His eyelids dropped, but not before she saw the mixture of knowledge and curiosity that confirmed his interest in her—willing or not.
If she’d felt a certain tingling something just now too, well, that was because being here gave her the fidgets. It was nerves that sent ripply feelings down her spine, and made her skin feel too tight, certainly not some reaction to him.
Even as she denied any interest in him, a small part of her catalogued the harsh face with its angry frown line and strong jaw, and the thick, dark brown hair.
Lily shook her head and dragged her thoughts back to business. She would finish this. Then she would leave, with a dignified, impersonal handshake. This…interest, or whatever it was, would quickly be forgotten.
‘I hope you don’t expect to be paid for the week Rochelle stalked me around the office, ignored her work and made a mess of everything?’ Zachary gifted her with a glare from beneath his brows.
‘Certainly not.’ That loss of revenue was only one of her worries right now. ‘I would never ask such a thing of a valued employer.’
‘But you’re here to ask something.’
‘Yes, and please believe me when I say I do realise how serious this is.’ This was the most important part of her speech. The part that had to convince him to give Best Secretarial Agency a second chance.
Yet now she struggled to drag the words from the recesses of her mind, and panic rippled. She needed this man’s forgiveness. If not that, then at least another chance to show him that her agency could live up to expectations.
‘You have every right to be affronted and offended. Repulsed, even.’ Her pencil flew across the notebook, recorded the basics of the conversation in the special, easy code learned through endless repetition.
If the matter is in any way important, always keep a record. Even before her mentor had told her that, she had done so. Religiously, in fact, since she’d discharged herself from the hospital. Since she’d walked away from her parents’ shame, and from her broken dreams.
Zach inclined his head. ‘It was a shock to enter my office and find…that. If I’d had anyone with me—’
‘It would have been even worse. I agree. And I didn’t mean you’d be repulsed, repulsed. That is, I’m sure the media testimonies to your, um, interest in women are true.’
Oh, good heavens. Did she have to go on about that? She really needed to focus!
‘I’m relieved to know that the Powers That Be acknowledge my healthy heterosexuality.’ Sarcasm dripped from each word, but something in his glance revealed that at least some small degree of that healthy maleness was currently focussed on her.
She came back to earth with a thump when he finished saying something and waited expectantly.
Press rewind, and play back—no. Nothing. Whatever his words, she couldn’t remember them. Just that one little slip in concentration…
A familiar icy feeling stole through her.
Drat it, Lily. Keep your mind where it should be! Give yourself at least half a chance to get a positive outcome from this.
‘Yes, well, um…’ Oh, why had Rochelle done this awful thing? And with absolutely no sense of shame or remorse, before or after the event. ‘I apologise fully on behalf of Best Secretarial Agency for this unacceptable occurrence. I’ve let Rochelle go.’
‘I doubt you’ll consider it a loss.’ His mild nod of approval was at least something.
‘No. Most likely not.’ She might as well be honest about that. Her pencil continued to fly. ‘But let me present my offer.’
He leaned forward, his expression intent and far from acquiescent. ‘I’d appreciate it if you’d keep it short.’
‘You’re in need of a replacement secretary. I’m ready and able to provide one.’ Each fact went into her notebook. ‘To ensure there will be no further difficulties, I want to send Deborah Martyn to you. Deb is my second-in-command, a middle-aged, reliable woman with a lot of office experience behind her.’
She drew a hurried breath and went on. ‘I can have Deb here within…’ She checked her book rapidly and found the note stating Deborah’s availability. ‘Within the hour. As an added incentive, I’d like to offer an extra two weeks of work, free of charge, after the end of the existing contract. It can’t be easy to obtain a good secretary at a moment’s notice. This will save you the time and effort of that search.’
Her breath stuck in her throat until she forced her lungs to move again. ‘I presume you haven’t already made alternative arrangements?’
‘I haven’t had time.’ He gave a mirthless laugh. ‘Let’s say I agreed to consider a replacement, which I haven’t.’
She had expected some opposition, and sat forward, pencil poised. ‘Yes?’
‘I don’t think it would be wise to take on another unknown female, after the problems I’ve just experienced. Now if, instead of Deborah Martyn, you could give me a male secretary? Skilled? Fully experienced?’
He emphasised each question with a tap of his finger against the blotter on his desk. ‘Preferably one with a wife and kids at home. Someone you can guarantee will be here to work and nothing else. I might consider that. Might.’
No male employees, married or otherwise, existed in her retinue of available staff. She had no one to offer but Deborah—a wonderful worker, but definitely female. ‘Not a male, no, but I can assure you Deborah is a very happily married—’
‘Woman?’ He ran a hand over the back of his neck, said it as though the very word were a plague. Yet his gaze lingered on her.
‘A very responsible woman,’ Lily began, only to be stopped by an upraised hand.
He shifted his focus beyond her to the outer office. ‘From my standpoint, it would seem safer to approach a different agency. One more established, perhaps, so that the reputation it’s built can truly be trusted.’
‘Please. I want the good will of your company.’ She had told herself she wouldn’t beg, but knew she was close to it right now.
The ‘girls’ relied on her to keep them in work. All five were great women, and all needed the money brought in through their efforts. They were a tight little band, formed within the first month of the agency’s opening nine months ago. Rochelle had come later, and had never really fitted in. Lily should have asked herself the reason for that, should have remembered to check all Rochelle’s references thoroughly, and perhaps she might have thought twice about taking Rochelle on at all!
Now she owed it to her girls to fix this problem. And she admitted she needed to do this for herself, too. What would she have left if her agency went under? ‘I’ll do whatever I need to, in order to regain your good will.’
‘No. I’m sorry.’ He got to his feet. ‘I appreciate the offer, but I can’t accept it.’
He couldn’t end the interview. Not yet.
‘I’ll raise the added free service to a month.’ Lily stood, too. How her budget would stretch to such a commitment, she had no idea, but she had to convince him.
‘You’re certainly determined.’ His gaze bored into hers with shrewd evaluation, and again with that hint of not entirely concealed male interest. ‘And probably worried sick that I’ll sue your company.’
Her heart fluttered in response to that look, but the flutter stopped abruptly as she absorbed his words. She feigned a calm she didn’t feel. Shook her head. ‘Not at all. I—’
She had considered it. Indeed, she had almost made herself ill thinking about it on the way here. If he took legal action, her agency could be deemed culpable of all sorts of awful things and might sink in a sea of murky corporate waters, never to be seen again.
If he denigrated her agency to his business colleagues, that alone would bring about the same result. Neither option was acceptable. ‘Is that what you have in mind?’
‘No.’
Just that. Flat. Unequivocal. Decided, she suspected, before he even brought the matter up.
He went on, a considering look in the backs of his eyes. ‘But I’m impressed by your commitment to your agency, and by your resourcefulness. I’ve decided there is a way you can placate me.’
‘Anything.’ Words poured out. ‘A line of dedication to you on my tombstone. Jemima’s firstborn kitten—if I don’t manage to get her spayed before that happens. All Betty’s eggs for a year.’
She sounded too desperate, managed at least to stop herself before she admitted to her eBay addiction, too. Heat stung her cheeks. ‘Well, naturally you wouldn’t care about any of that, but what did you have in mind? If it’s within my power to do so, I’ll make it happen.’
‘Jemima? Betty?’ He murmured the names, and for a brief moment warm humour lit his eyes.
There was something so appealing about a man who could smile…
Then he shook his head, and the expression vanished. ‘Initially, all I thought I wanted—needed—was someone to keep things in basic good order while my regular secretary took her long-service leave.’
‘Yes.’ Her vigorous nod made her hair swing against her cheeks. ‘I understood those were your requirements when you first contacted us.’
He took a step forward. Reached one hand towards her cheek, stopped, shoved both hands into his pockets. ‘Things have changed.’
‘I’m afraid I don’t quite understand.’ She tightened her grip on the red and black pencil. Had he really been about to stroke her face? Her skin begged her to make it happen.
‘A woman in your position would have to be well-versed in all aspects of office skills?’ he prompted.
‘Well, yes, I am.’ Her pencil traversed the page at warp speed, making her odd-looking squiggles. Why make this personal—about her, specifically? Fresh unease built up.
‘You’d have worked on a number of temporary jobs, Ms Kellaway?’ A muscle in his jaw tightened, and his dark gaze shifted just once to her mouth before moving away. ‘Do you still do that?’
It took all her effort not to raise a hand to her lips. To touch them, as though, by simply looking at them, he had changed their texture or shape and she needed to feel that change for herself. ‘I keep my hand in, yes, with short assignments that don’t take too much away from my other responsibilities.’
Assignments that allowed her to appear in a good light to those business people she chose for the purposes of keeping her skills fresh. ‘My commitment to the agency doesn’t allow for more than that.’
That was true, too, if not all of the truth.
‘If circumstances demanded it, you could do more. You would adapt. I suspect you would be good at that.’ His words held a husky timbre that made her wonder just what sort of adaptation he was thinking about.
Then he gave a brief nod. ‘So here’s my proposition. I want you in this office, to sort out my problems and deal with my backlog.’
With each statement, her eyes widened. A mixture of anxiety, incredulity and fear stormed through her. He wanted her? She could stay here for a couple of weeks, but even that wasn’t in her plan. ‘I can’t leave my work—’
‘You’d be surprised what you can do, Lily Kellaway, if the need and the motivation are there.’ Unshakeable demand in each word, he continued. ‘I want you to make my office run the way it has done for the past eleven years, with barely a hiccup to disturb me. When Maddie comes back, I want things to be so shipshape, she won’t even know she’s been gone.’
‘Really. I’m sorry.’ Lily had wanted a second chance, but not like this. She would make a fool of herself, would reveal her weaknesses in front of him. No. It was out of the question. As was explaining her reluctance to take up what he must see as a reasonable challenge. ‘But I couldn’t—’
‘Yes, you could, and you will. You’re the right person to take it on, because you care enough about the outcome that you’ll make sure it all works out.’
He didn’t move, but she sensed the mental dusting of hands as he presented her with what he must view as a fait accompli. If he had any lingering concerns about feeling attracted to her, they were well buried.
Perhaps he had simply shut that attraction off? Not that she couldn’t do the same. The stress of this situation had blurred her ability to act decisively, that was all.
He went on, his voice deepening with each word. ‘I’m sure your organisational skills will be more than up to the task, and it’s only a few months when all’s said and done.’
‘Only a f-few months.’ He really wanted her to do this work herself. Had made his mind up and would refuse to accept anything else. As for her organisational skills, she choked back a bitter laugh. Lily organised her life to death, and it still wasn’t enough.
The inescapability hit her. The notebook slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. Pages fanned out like a startled lizard’s ruffle. Her carefully controlled world fell on its ear at the same time.
With the addition of the month she had stupidly tossed in, it would be three months and three weeks. She couldn’t afford to be here anywhere near that long.
She would have to prevaricate. Would have to accept his ultimatum for now, and convince him later to take Deb in her place.
‘You don’t have any choice, you know.’ He retrieved her notebook and gently passed it to her.
The book was a symbol of her weakness, if he had but known it. Within its pages she attempted to maintain control of her life. Everything from shopping lists, to appointments, to work demands, to names of people she might need to call again.
‘I’ve quite made up my mind, you see. So put your wonderful Deborah in charge of your agency. Let her do whatever it is you usually do.’ His tone lowered to calm, focussed intent and he went on. ‘And you, Lily Kellaway, give yourself to me.’
CHAPTER TWO
ZACHARY Swift had given Lily fifteen minutes to organise her agency matters. Lily’s small electronic timer counted down the seconds even now. As a result, her phone conversation with Deborah was limited. It would help if she wasn’t so aware of Zachary, seated in his office with the door open, working through twin mountains of paperwork with a determined diligence. She even liked that about him—drat the apparently hard-working man!
‘I’ll look after everything, Lily. Don’t worry.’ Deb’s words barely registered.
It was difficult to notice anything but the man in her peripheral vision.
He glanced up as though sensing her gaze on him, and she felt heat warm her cheeks as she quickly looked away.
‘Thanks, Deb.’ Lily couldn’t afford not to take notice of this conversation. She jotted Deb’s agreement to take over until further notice into her diary. ‘You have the key to my office and the tapes…’
Where had Lily left the tapes? She couldn’t visualise them. ‘They should be beside the computer. If they’re not, I might have left them in the top drawer of the desk. Re-direct the phone to your place. I’ll call you tonight to catch up properly.’
The moment Lily ended the call, she scribbled self-help instructions on several sticky notes and slapped them into place above the phone, on the filing cabinet, over the dictation machine. She wished she could put up ‘Don’t be Aware of the Boss’ notices, too.