Date with a Single Dad: Millionaire Dad's SOS / Proud Rancher, Precious Bundle / Millionaire Dad: Wife Needed
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That first moment when she’d been allowed to dream he might be something he was not hadn’t been fair. If she’d first seen him looking like this then maybe she would have had her guard up and have avoided this whole mess from the outset.
Who are you kidding? she thought to herself on a slow release of breath. In cargo shorts and a soft faded T-shirt he was beautiful. In a perfectly cut suit he was devastating. A woman would have to be made of far sterner stuff than she to skim past such a creation.
‘You having a good time so far?’ Rylie asked.
‘Mmm?’ Meg said, turning to Rylie with the straw of her third pineapple mocktail bitten between her front teeth.
‘I feel like we’ve barely seen you enough to make sure you’re actually relaxing as promised.’
Meg raised an eyebrow. ‘If you actually turned up to any of the scheduled events rather than leaving me to fend for myself that wouldn’t be the case.’
‘I’m here now.’
Meg bumped her friend with her shoulder. ‘So you are. And I’m glad. This is fun. Especially since Tabitha is so on form, and thankfully not trying to rope us into her insanity.’
‘Too true. And, now that I am here, is there anything you’d like to catch me up on? The weather, perhaps? Petrol prices getting you down? Anything happen in the past couple of days you’d like to let off your chest?’
She knew what Rylie was asking. And it was fair enough. They were best friends. Had been since school. Maybe she could give her a little sugar, so long as she gave nothing away about Zach or Ruby. But to do that she’d have to give too much of herself away as well. The myriad reasons why she couldn’t just throw herself at him and be done with it went deeper than even Rylie knew.
‘The weather, then,’ Meg said, tilting her head towards the heavens. ‘Look at that sky. Have you ever seen so many stars? Hasn’t this been the most beautiful night?’
Rylie paused a long moment before glancing across the fire towards the man they were both pretending not to be talking about. ‘Absolutely gorgeous.’
On a sigh Meg said, ‘You have no idea.’
A gorgeous man and a gorgeous dad. It was the second part that was making it so easy for her to fall for him, while also making it impossible for her to have him.
She’d never gone through the grieving process the doctors had warned her she might when she’d convinced them to give her the operation that would take away her chance of conceiving a child. All she’d wanted was to do whatever she could to stop her father from ever getting the chance to bully another kid again.
She was beginning to fear that was what the faint but now constant ache in her heart was—fissures that had existed in her happy facade since the morning she woke up in Recovery. Only now, as she understood fully for the first time what she’d given up, those fissures were turning into cracks big enough to split her in two.
‘Can you do me a favour?’ Meg asked.
‘Anything. Always.’
‘I don’t want to be missing any more. In the press, I mean. Dylan texted me today. Apparently the snippet Chic ran online a couple of days back has grown legs. I’d rather not be hounded by people with mobile cameras any more than usual this week.’
‘I’ll get onto my contact at Chic and give them the word,’ Rylie said. ‘Where do you want to be instead of missing?’
Here. ‘Anywhere but here.’
‘May I ask why?’
Meg tucked her chin against her shoulder and glanced at her friend. ‘I wish I could tell you, but it’s complicated.’
‘Okay, for now. I’m not so silly to think wheat-grass juice is the reason you’re glowing like you are. Tell your man he can do as he pleases, I’m looking the other way.’
Meg gave Rylie a quick hug.
Tabitha chose the perfect moment to twist her way out of the line and head on over, laughing as though she could barely draw breath.
‘You are a maniac,’ Meg said, her voice still slightly ragged.
Tabitha slumped down onto the straw mat beside them. ‘Every party we ever have from now on should be exactly like this.’
‘With nobody we know as guests and no alcohol?’ Rylie asked.
Tabitha shrugged. ‘Why not? I know the wellness class we took the first day was all about finding balance, but sometimes I think you need to let yourself go completely off balance too. It’s a yin and yang thing.’
Off balance. That was the term Meg had been reaching for to describe how Zach made her feel.
He was intensely private while her life was splashed about the papers so regularly she might as well have been living in her own reality TV programme. He saw family as something to safeguard, not to flaunt. His life was so far removed from her own as to be completely foreign.
This was a man trying so hard to be worthy of his daughter, if he knew how low she’d sunk, how desperate a measure she’d taken in order to pull herself back out into the bright lights, would he understand? Or would he think her ridiculous? Hopeless? Weak? All the things she’d been told she was by the one man who ought to have been her fiercest champion. If even her father couldn’t see the good in the real her, what hope did she have with anyone else?
He shifted in the firelight, all shadowy angles and dark good looks.
This man had given her chocolate when she’d needed chocolate. He’d given her disco when she’d needed disco. Would he, could he, be the one she could trust to accept her just as she really was?
‘As much as it pains me to admit,’ Rylie said to Tabitha, ‘you may be onto something with this off balance thing.’
‘I hear that,’ Meg whispered.
When the party had well and truly wound down, Zach found Meg standing by the bar alone—a bright red firecracker amongst the few shadowy forms lingering till the end.
‘Did you get your fair share of marshmallows?’ he asked when he was close enough to breathe in her subtly exotic perfume.
She turned to him with a coconut shell curved into her palm and a straw in her mouth. That mouth. If Zach had ever had cause to believe in heaven and hell that mouth was enough to convince him of both.
‘I’ve eaten far more than my fair share. But it’s too late. There’s no getting them back now. You had a good night?’
‘Tonight hiding in plain sight finally caught up with me. My right hand is bruised from pressing local flesh all evening.’
Her eyes smiled as she sucked on her straw. ‘So how was it being Mr Social?’
‘One couple had me pinned for half an hour trying to get me to join their pyramid scheme.’
She laughed so hard she tucked her drink to her chest so as not to spill it. ‘If you want I can give you some hints on how to extricate yourself quickly and politely so that they leave thinking you were lovely but somehow certain they’d better not go near you again.’
‘You are a woman of many hidden capabilities, Ms Kelly.’
She raised one thin eyebrow. ‘And then some. Now come on, you must have met some nice people.’
‘I did.’ Most were surprisingly decent. Warm, welcoming, enthused that he’d seen such value in their beautiful region to create the resort. He said, ‘One local businesswoman had some fantastic ideas about marketing local produce around the country using the resort label. I might even look into it while I’m here.’
She grinned. ‘I told you schmoozing had its perks.’
‘So you did.’ He glanced around. ‘Where are your chaperones?’
‘Rylie needed her beauty sleep and Tabitha practically had to be carried back to the room, she so wore herself out dancing.’
When she smiled at him she made him feel as if he were sixteen again with possibilities he’d never even imagined opening up before him. He felt as if he could take on the world. He felt as if he were standing on unstable ground.
He waved an arm away from the bright bar. Together they walked around the edge of the beach to a place the firelight didn’t quite reach.
She slid her bare feet sensually through the sand. Her fingernails and toenails had been repainted blood-red. She smelled of jasmine. Her skin glowed warm and creamy in the firelight. Escaped tendrils of her hair flickered away from her lovely face in the light summer breeze. Heat curled deep within his abdomen.
His voice was rough when he said, ‘I’ve had a question I wanted to ask you all night.’
She clutched her coconut shell to her chest and looked at her feet. ‘And what’s that?’
‘Did you seriously have that dress in your suitcase this whole time?’
She laughed. ‘A girl never knows when she’s going to need a party frock. Besides, the girls packed my bags for me. You’ll be shocked to discover coming to a wellness retreat was their idea.’ She glanced sideways. ‘You look very smart yourself.’
He puffed out his chest. ‘I always do.’
‘Mmm. But there’s just something extra special about you tonight that I can’t put my finger on.’
She put her finger on the fullest part of her bottom lip instead. The urge to drag her into the reeds and finish what they’d started the day before, to give in and let instinct and abandon bring release, was almost overwhelming.
Until she asked, ‘So did you choose hot pink for your little necklace there?’
Zach glanced down at his shirt only to be reminded of the wilting lei. ‘Give me a break—everyone got one coming in.’
‘Do you see me wearing one?’
‘They must have run out before you got here.’
‘Likely excuse.’ She slid the straw into her mouth and grinned.
And now you’re flirting, he said inside his head. Of course you’re flirting. Just look at her. I mean, really look at her. He did. She took his breath away.
They hit the far side of the fire and as one took up residence on an empty straw mat. The bonfire no longer blazed, but embers glowed red-hot at the base of the gently licking flames.
‘It’s very quiet out here all of a sudden,’ she said, her voice soft.
‘I think we may officially be considered stragglers.’
‘Most socially uncool.’
‘No need to panic quite yet. We won’t be the very last. I’m told there’s always one fellow hanging about ready to douse the fire once all’s said and done.’
‘Then our party reputations will live to see another day!’ she said, but he saw in the flicker of her eyes that she heard what he’d really been telling her. They had a chaperone of sorts after all.
She crossed her legs frog style, sitting her drink on her far side and laying her hands in her lap—they fast disappeared into her ample skirt—as she looked into the fire.
Silence stretched between them. He wondered if she could feel the same electricity running up and down her arms that was creating havoc over his.
When she blatantly asked, ‘So where’s Ruby tonight?’ he knew without a doubt that she was well aware.
CHAPTER NINE
THE fact that Meg had to be the one to remind him of the participant in their relationship who wasn’t there brought Zach solidly back to earth.
Habit had him slamming his lips shut tight. But then Meg tucked loose strands of hair behind her ear and shot him an encouraging smile. And he couldn’t deny, even to himself, that talking to her helped. More than talking to Felicia, or the teachers at Ruby’s school, or the social workers who came to the house once a week.
Maybe it was the fact that she would be leaving in a few days. Maybe it was because sometimes she seemed to understand Ruby more than even he did. Or maybe it was because he simply enjoyed talking to her.
For whatever reason, he said, ‘She’s sleeping over at her friend Clarissa’s house. Her first sleepover since moving here. She was so excited when the invitation came through this morning I couldn’t say no.’
‘Did she tell you about the invitation before or after she made you pancakes?’
He thought back. ‘After.’
Meg laughed softly. ‘Getting you all nice and buttered up before going in for the kill. I love it.’
The affection in Meg’s voice didn’t surprise him, but again it moved him. Because of this woman, parts of himself he’d thought long since turned to dry ice had begun to melt. And he wasn’t the only one.
He patted the chest of his jacket and felt inside the card Ruby had presented to him that morning. A card she’d made, addressed to Meg. He’d brought it with him with every intention of giving it to her. He even got as far as reaching inside and touching the pink cardboard before his fingers curled into his palm.
Even as he’d slid the card into his jacket earlier that evening, he’d known he couldn’t ever tell Meg about the card.
Letting Ruby develop a fondness for her was a bad idea. A kid could only have the object of their affection snatched away from them so many times before they learnt it hurt less to simply never form attachments at all. It was his duty to protect Ruby from that kind of hurt as well. As such he could only in good conscience encourage friendships he knew would last.
Meg turned to him with a wide, lovely, genuine smile, and he wished he could be as conscientious with himself. He let his hand slide out of his coat pocket, empty.
She waggled a finger at him and said, ‘If I didn’t know better I’d think you’ve read the book after all.’
‘Which book is that?’
‘How to Father a Girl. It’s extremely hard to track down and even more difficult to decipher. Lots of hieroglyphics and double talk. But you seem to be following along beautifully.’
‘I don’t always get that same feeling from Felicia.’
Meg raised an eyebrow. ‘Do tell.’
He baulked. Then convinced himself that while keeping Ruby a step removed was one thing, sharing pieces of his experiences was fine. In fact, so far it had done him nothing but good. ‘She seemed to think I ought to keep Ruby home from Clarissa’s because a) she did have a sore throat, or b) she’d been hamming it up. Either way she should be spending the weekend in bed.’
‘You overrode the nanny?’ Her eyes widened. ‘Brave man.’
Zach laughed. ‘Letting Ruby have some fun felt right.’ He scooped up a handful of sand and let it run slowly through his fingers as he remembered. ‘Then after it was settled, for some reason I winked at her. I’ve never, not once in my entire life, winked. Didn’t even know I knew how. And you know what the rascal did?’
‘What?’
‘She giggled. No more amazing a sound have I heard in my entire life.’
Meg pulled her knees back to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. ‘I knew it,’ she said on a sigh. ‘You’ve so-o-o read the book.’
Zach brushed the sand from his hand and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. In the semi-darkness the angle of her body was outlined in gold from the dying fire—all curled into itself like a ball of shimmering red fabric. It wouldn’t matter who her father was, or the size of her trust fund, she would draw the eyes of those who knew quality when they saw it wherever she went.
He took in a deep breath, wood smoke tickling the back of his throat. ‘I may be faking it well enough to fool you, and perhaps even Felicia and Ruby. But the grim truth is I know next to nothing about kids, and less about girls.’
‘Many, many eons ago little Zach was seven.’
‘That is so. Yet my hope is that Zach at seven and Ruby at seven have very different experiences.’
‘Why’s that?’
The night was so quiet, the fire so mellow, the air so warm, Meg’s voice and presence in the darkness so reassuring. The uncomfortable truth of his childhood balanced on the tip of his tongue for a moment before he swallowed it down. He didn’t talk about it. Didn’t even like thinking about it. If having stopped flying to the ends of the earth and back meant all that purposely lost baggage might yet catch up with him …
He said, ‘She’s a girl, for one thing.’
Meg laughed and it echoed through him hollowly. All that virgin trust between them had been built for nought if he could still feign his feelings so easily. But it was too late to tell her now. The moment had passed.
‘To tell you the truth,’ she said, ‘what girls think, what we like, what annoys us, what we want isn’t really all that different at Ruby’s age or mine.’
‘And that is?’
She laughed again. This time he was quick enough to close down the exposed parts of himself so, instead of it making him feel so cool and alone inside, her laughter skittered hot and fast across his skin like sparks from the fire.
Her knees fell towards him, her hand reached out to give her balance and he could see more of her face in the firelight. ‘Better I don’t say. The more you think you know about womankind, the more you realise you don’t know. I’m not being any help to you at all, am I?’
‘You are. More than you know.’
‘Really?’ The flicker of surprise in her voice caught him off guard.
‘Really,’ he said, infusing the word with as much gravity as he could.
She watched him for a few long, hot moments before finding the fingernails of her right hand unexpectedly intriguing. ‘Well, of course I’m helping. I was a seven-year-old girl a lot more recently than you were a seven-year-old boy.’
‘That’ll be why.’
She smiled. He caught it at the fire-lit edge of her profile. A sexy curve of her mouth, a softening of her wide blue eyes. Heaven help him, he could have kissed her then and there. In front of the lingering fire-douser and anyone else who’d cared to hang about once the food and drinks were gone.
Then she had to go and ask, ‘Did you always want kids?’ and it was as good as a cold shower.
‘Never.’ The all too illuminating answer shot from his mouth like some kind of penance for his earlier cowardice. But it was out there now. So he went the only way he knew—forward.
‘My lifestyle was not conducive to kids. Or a family of any sort. I was on a plane twice a week. I’ve lived in hotel suites my whole adult life. The only real-estate I’ve ever owned was commercial. Any relationships I’ve had had to fit into that way of life, period.’
‘And when you first found out about Ruby?’
‘When my lawyer rang with the news I thought it was some kind of cruel joke. But when I hung up the phone it felt as though I’d been waiting for that call all my life.’
‘Simple as that, she changed your mind?’ she asked, her voice gentle.
‘In a heartbeat. It’s the strangest thing, but now I can barely remember my life without her.’
The fire crackled as a log split and those above spilt into the gap. Zach came to from far, far away, a whole other lifetime. He glanced across at Meg. Her face tilted to watch the sparks that fluttered up into the darkness. Without the play of expressions that continuously gave her away, he had no idea what she was thinking.
‘How about you?’ he asked on a whim.
She licked her lips and her brow furrowed for a moment before she turned to him with a breezy smile. ‘Kids? Gosh, no. Wherever would I find the time?’
‘You’re just saying that to make me feel better for admitting I felt that way.’
‘Not at all. I promise.’ Again he thought he caught a hint of a frown, but it was too dark to really tell. Whatever it was it was soon swallowed by the kind of overbright smile he knew better than to trust. ‘Don’t get me wrong—my nieces are two of my favourite people in the entire word. I love them to distraction. But it’s not on the cards for me.’
‘Why?’
He could tell she was really looking at him, and he wished there were some way of turning on a light. Of looking into those bright eyes and knowing what she was thinking before she said it. Being a step behind felt … disquieting somehow.
She eventually said, ‘Even apart from the whole cameras-outside-your-front-door thing, the life of a Kelly kid is not an easy one. The pressure to be the best, the brightest, every day a winner is immense. And that’s not changing any day soon.’
‘Your nieces are going through this now?’
Again she paused. Come on, he thought, I could do it, so can you. ‘I find myself quietly sabotaging the process wherever I possibly can. I sneak them junk food when their dad’s not watching. I teach them swear words in French, which my father doesn’t speak. If I babysit I let them wear pyjamas all day. I let them be kids.’
‘Talk about maternal instincts,’ he said with two raised eyebrows.
She stared at him as if he had grown horns. As if he was missing the point entirely. Then her hand moved to rest on her belly. She scrunched her hand into a fist before looking away and reaching out to grab her toes.
‘Instincts or no, unlike you I’m hardly going to have one appear out of the woodwork so that’s the end of that.’ She shook it off. Literally, her whole body gave one great shiver, before she said, ‘Okay. Moving on. Here’s something you can take to the bank. You ready?’
‘Always.’
‘Meg’s crash course on Raising a Girl 101. Ruby will make friends you don’t like, she’ll see movies that’ll make your eyes pop out of your head, listen to music that makes your ears ache, she’ll diet when she doesn’t need to, and eat ice cream for breakfast, and she’ll meet boys you wish had never been born. Roll with the punches for your own sake. And for hers, let her know no matter what happens she always has a safe place to go home to.’
He nodded, though his head was reeling with points one and two, much less the rest. ‘That’s why I took on the house here. To give her somewhere near her familiar haunts to come home to.’
‘Nu-uh, Mr Jones. By home, I mean you. This is the clincher, the one thing you should get tattooed to your arm. No matter what happens, no matter what she does, always, always, make sure she knows you love her. That’s what will keep her coming home.’
Zach realised he was holding his breath. But he didn’t let it go until his lungs began to burn from inaction.
Love. Love. Love? The more times he said the word, the less sense it made.
What did he know about love? He’d fed Ruby, clothed her, given her shelter, filled her room with trinkets, let her have her little rebellions as some kind of compensation for not having a mother. But love?
If his own childhood had taught him anything it was that love was a sham. A fickle fairy tale. If loving someone as much as he’d loved some of his foster parents didn’t ensure they loved him back, what was the point?
He breathed deep and buried his face in his palms. What a hypocrite. He’d been busy convincing himself he was all about the fatherly care, when all the while he was actually dolling out the same kind of veiled neglect of his childhood without even realising it.
That poor, poor kid. Baking him pancakes, picking him wildflowers. At least she was trying to show him she loved him. While he hadn’t given her a single clue that he loved her too.
He loved her. Of course he damned well loved her. He’d have been some kind of fool to have changed his life so completely had he not.
He blinked into the fire. Stunned. Apparently never being shown how did not make him as incapable as he’d always believed.
He glanced at Meg. Their gazes tangled a moment longer than could ever be considered merely friendly.
Meg raised her eyebrows. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Terrified,’ he said before he could censor himself.
She laughed softly. Sadly even. ‘Then you know you’re not perfect. You know you have limitations. That’s a good thing. Believe me. What happened to Ruby’s mum?’
The last part came so out of the blue it shocked Zach right out of his funk. ‘Cancer. It was quick. Ruby didn’t even know till it was all over.’
‘No! Oh, the poor pet. And Isabel had really never told you about Ruby?’
He shook his head. ‘Our relationship had been casual. It ended as easily as it had begun. Still she was very clear in her will that she wanted me to have custody. For that one fact I have to forgive her the rest.’