A Long Walk Home
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“The Jacobs residence, Violet Jacobs speaking.”
Violet had lived alone for years, since she’d ordered her cheating husband to leave, yet she’d insisted on answering the phone as though others resided in her house.
“Vi, it’s Annie.”
I heard her inhale a slow breath. “Annie, how nice to hear from you. The roses you sent are beautiful. How thoughtful of you.”
“I wanted you to know that I still care,” I said, swallowing back the knot in my throat.
“I’ve missed you, too. I was hoping you could come over for lunch tomorrow. Alone, just you and me…like old times.”
Clear and to the point.
Tony wasn’t welcome.
But I was willing to compromise. Plus, Tony had to work tomorrow. His architectural firm was preparing a bid on a new mall. “Yes, is noon good for you?”
“Perfect.”
We spoke for a few more minutes about incidentals: the rising cost of gas, oil heat and the weather. Once we’d exhausted topics of no importance, we hung up.
I spun around in my desk chair and while glancing out at the Portland skyline, I realized how much I’d missed hearing from Vi. I hoped tomorrow we could start to bridge the gap in our relationship.
Later that day I met Mallory and Carrie at DiMillo’s. The hostess led us to a table by a window. The light mist that had started falling that afternoon had become intermittent rain which now pelted the pane of glass. A raw, crisp wind stirred the ocean into choppy waves, causing boats in the harbor to sway on their moorings.
We sat down and took the menus from the hostess who filled our glasses with water. “Your server will be right with you.”
“Anything new?” Carrie asked me.
“I’m meeting Vi for lunch tomorrow.”
“That’s great,” Carrie replied.
“You keep up a strong front,” Mallory said. “Don’t let her make you feel guilty about wanting a life for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you and Tony living together. You’re adults for cripes sake.”
“This isn’t about who’s right and who’s wrong. I want us to be friends.”
“What if that’s not possible?” Mallory asked.
I’d wondered the same thing. Would I have to choose between Tony and Vi? “Then I’ll deal with that, too.”
John, the waiter we’d had last week, walked past our table. He and Mallory exchanged searing glances as he hurried into the kitchen.
“Let me guess…” I covered my mouth with my right hand. “Something’s going on between you two.”
Carrie fanned her face. “Something hot, hot, hot!”
“And it’s a wonder I can still walk,” Mallory said with a low laugh.
Carrie shook her head. “I’d love to find a nice guy and settle down. But no one’s willing to take on the responsibility of a ready-made family.”
Mallory looked down at the dessert menu. “Men are afraid of getting married. But they’re always willing to move in for a week of fun and games, right, Annie?”
I was a bit irritated that Mallory would compare what I had with Tony to her fly-by-night encounters.
“Why are you asking me? I know nothing about sampling the flavor of the week.”
Mallory’s mouth curved into a wide smile. “Neither of you know what you’re missing.” She set the menu down. “Most men are terrified of commitment. They do a convincing song and dance about love and how you don’t need a piece of paper to prove how you feel. But it’s the same bull.”
What Mallory had said sounded very familiar, and it stung. True, I’d agreed with Tony: marriage was just a piece of paper, a certificate that bound two people together until the good times disappeared.
The concept of marriage was a farce.
It was far more sensible to live together and know that person was there because he/she wanted to be there, not because that piece of paper said they couldn’t leave.
It made sense, so why did I feel as though I needed to defend my live-in relationship? Plus, I certainly wasn’t ready for more than a bedmate—a sexy, turn my legs to mush, kissable bedmate.
Mallory turned to Carrie. “If you want a man, then pretend you aren’t looking for ‘the one.’”
“You mean lie?”
Mallory nodded. “I prefer to think of it as bending the truth a little.”
“I’m a mother so I have to project a certain image.”
“You need to loosen up,” Mallory said, her gaze following John as he took an older couple’s order several tables away. “Hmmm-hmmm, nice butt.”
“Not bad,” I said, tapping my fingernail against the water glass. “For a kid.”
Mallory’s hazel eyes sparkled. “John’s in his second year of college at the University of Southern Maine.”
“You’re kidding,” Carrie said, her cheeks flushing crimson.
Mallory uttered a deep laugh. “Before you call the cops on me, it’s not as bad as it sounds. He was in the navy for a while and went back to school. He’s thirty-one.”
“I don’t know if I could ever marry a younger man,” Carrie said.
“I don’t intend to marry him. Though I’d like him to stick around for a while. He’s very talented in bed.”
“That sounds awful, like you’re using him,” Carrie said, looking troubled.
Carrie was the more sensitive of my two friends. When it came to men, she was too nice, too willing to believe what they said. And she ended up hurt.
“We both know where we stand,” Mallory replied. “No one’s going to get hurt. And there’s nothing wrong with enjoying each other’s company. Especially when the guy is so yummy. Enough about me, how’s Tony?”
“We’re getting along really well. I was concerned I’d feel as though he was invading my space, but we have enough alone time that it isn’t a problem,” I replied.
Carrie took a sip of water. “I’m looking for someone really special, a man who’ll want to spend his spare time with me and the boys. Someone I can trust.”
“I think that breed is extinct,” Mallory said.
Carrie sighed. “I’m afraid you may be right.”
“Have you started to notice Tony’s little annoying habits yet?” Mallory asked.
“Nope, maybe he doesn’t have any.” I knew that would stir up Mallory.
“When you least expect it, you’ll start noticing the cap off the toothpaste, the butter left out on the counter, in the morning dirty dishes in the sink that weren’t there when you went to bed. That’s when I usually give the guy the heave-ho. And since there are no strings attached, it’ll be easy for you to move on, too.”
Mallory didn’t understand my relationship with Tony. We weren’t planning to get married, but both of us considered our relationship permanent. “He enjoys cooking for me,” I said. “And he brings me flowers every week. I see us growing old together.”
Mallory threw me a bright smile. “That’s always a possibility, but if it doesn’t work out, there are no strings. It’ll be a lot easier to move on to the next flavor of the month.”
After soaking in the hot tub and sharing a couple glasses of wine, Tony and I made love twice: first on the lounge in the sunroom, the rain beating down on the glass-paneled ceiling, our joining frantic and exciting. Overhead lightning arced across the black sky as thunder rumbled. Then Tony picked me up, walked into the house and laid me down on my bed. No rush this time, slow, thorough and breathtaking.
He’d fallen asleep shortly afterward, his arm wrapped around me, my head against his chest. I couldn’t stop thinking how fortunate I was.
My life was nearly perfect.
I’d dozed off and was awakened around three by the phone. Two rings and the answering machine picked up. Since I’d never gotten around to having a jack installed in this room, I hurried into the living room.
“Annie, it’s Mom.”
I grabbed the receiver, dropped it on the floor and scrambled to pick it up. “What’s wrong?”
I saw Tony coming toward me, clad only in a pair of dark boxers. He placed his hands over my shoulders, and I instantly felt stronger. Thank goodness he was here with me now.
“It’s your sister,” Mom said, between sobs. “They found her unconscious in a sleazy apartment complex in Los Angeles. She was rushed to the hospital. According to the doctor I spoke to a few minutes ago on the phone, Dana’s lucky to be alive.”
“What happened to her?”
“The doctor thinks it was a cocaine overdose, but he won’t know for sure until the blood tests are in.”
I’d never fainted in my life, yet suddenly I felt dizzy. I closed my eyes and reached for the back of the chair for support. Tony must have noticed because he stepped closer and pulled me tight against him.
“Who’s taking care of Summer?” I asked, concerned about my thirteen-year-old niece’s safety. I hoped she hadn’t seen her mother in that condition.
“The poor kid has been taking care of herself. I plan to catch a flight in a few hours, but I need to be close to Dana. Would you mind if Summer stayed with you for a while. A few days or a week?”
I hadn’t seen my niece in years, but I remembered her childish giggle, her freckled face and her pixie haircut. “Wouldn’t it be easier if I flew to L.A. and took care of Summer at her home?”
“I’m told your sister lives in a rough neighborhood with questionable roommates. I want my granddaughter far away from Dana’s so-called friends.”
“Sure, Summer can stay here until Dana feels better.”
“Good, I’ll call you as soon as I know more about your sister’s condition and when to expect Summer’s flight.”
“Tell Dana not to worry. Summer can stay with me as long as she needs to.”
CHAPTER 3
A fter two failed attempts to put the receiver back in its cradle, Tony took the phone from my trembling fingers and set it down. I told him what little I knew about my sister and my niece. Without warning, I burst into tears. He gathered me in his arms and rocked me against his solid chest.
Then he poured me a brandy and insisted I sit on the couch with my head against his shoulder. As I sipped the drink, his fingers traced slow lazy circles along my scalp, helping me to relax and finally doze off.
I awoke with a start to find the sun streaming through the slits in the closed blinds. “How long have I been asleep?”
“It’s almost six.” Tony yawned, freed his arm from beneath my head and stretched. “Will you be all right, or should I cancel going into work this morning?”
I appreciated his generous offer, but I knew how important the mall project was to his business. If he and his partner didn’t crunch numbers this weekend, their bid wouldn’t be ready by Monday. And as much as I’d have liked to have Tony with me, there was no need.
“No, I’ll be fine.”
He pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “Are you sure? Earlier on the phone you looked ready to pass out.”
“I don’t know what came over me, but I’m back to my old self-reliant, tough-as-nails self.”
He hugged me tight against him. “That’s my Annie.”
I stood and grabbed a pad of paper from the desk and started making a list: chips and dip, drinks and teen magazines.
“What will I say to her? I won’t know what to do with a teenager.” I drew a large exclamation point behind the word magazines.
“She’ll only be here for a few days. Buy lots of pizza and plenty of junk food, set your television to MTV and don’t be surprised when your phone becomes an extension of her ear,” Tony said with a grin.
“She can talk on the phone all she wants… I’m sure she’ll need to stay in close contact with her mom. She’s my only niece, and this is my chance to help get through this difficult time. Knowing her mother’s a drug addict has to be rough. I want Summer to know I’m here for her, no matter what.”
To my list, I added pink bath towels for her bathroom. I suspected pretty things wouldn’t lessen Summer’s anguish, but I wanted to make her stay here as pleasant as possible. “I think I’ll go shopping and buy a new bedspread. She can take it home with her when she leaves. Maybe I should purchase a few CDs and how about a Nintendo?”
Starting toward the bathroom, Tony threw me a teasing look over his shoulder. “There’s an unwritten rule amongst teenagers to hate everything adults buy them. Why not get her a small gift for when she steps off the plane. Then make plans to go shopping together after she arrives. That way she can pick out exactly what she wants. There’s another unwritten rule so you’d best be prepared—all teenagers are experts at maxing out credit cards. So be warned.”
“In that case I’ll bring along lots of extra cash and hire a Brink’s truck to take us to the mall.”
“I like the way you think,” he said, disappearing into the bathroom, then poking out his head. “Depending on how long Summer stays, maybe I can persuade my daughter to show your niece around.”
His daughter, Chelsea, was fourteen and very popular. Most girls would love to be part of her crowd. “That would be great. Do you think she’d be willing to do that?”
He shrugged and uttered a deep laugh. “Only if she thinks it’s her idea.”
I’d called Vi earlier and explained that I needed to go shopping for my niece’s visit. She suggested we have lunch at the food court at the mall.
Vi slipped into the passenger seat of my Volvo. She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry to hear about your sister.”
“Me, too, but maybe this’ll make her realize she needs to make some drastic changes. I spoke to my mom this morning, and Dana is much better. My mother hopes to persuade her to go into rehab, if not for herself then for her daughter’s sake.”
“I’ll ask Father Thompson to keep your sister in his prayers.”
“If only that were all it took to turn Dana’s life around.”
“People change, dear,” Vi reminded me.
“I hope so.”
Dana had been through rehab two other times; once as a teenager, and three years ago. She’d refused to give up her friends, and within weeks of her discharge she was back to her old ways. “I’m glad you’ve come along because I’m going to need your help to pick out some truly special gifts for my niece. I was thinking of buying a few accessories for the bedroom she’ll be using, something frilly and girlish.”
“A visit with you is what that poor child needs.”
As I steered my vehicle into the mall parking lot twenty minutes later, I noticed Vi’s lips were pursed and her eyes filled with doubt. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know if I dare say, dear.”
I parked the car and dropped my keys into my purse. “There’s nothing you can’t discuss with me.” Except for Tony. Let’s not ruin what little progress we’ve made.
Vi glanced down, toyed with the strap of her handbag.
“Your niece needs to be in a stable home with an adult she can emulate.”
Her worried gray eyes met mine. “Thirteen is such an impressionable age, and up until now, she hasn’t had a strong role model.”
I sucked in my lower lip. What was she getting at? “I plan to help Summer any way I can. I still have a few vacation days left, and Monday I’m going to call my supervisor and explain I have a family emergency and need to take a few days off.”
“That’s nice dear, but…what about Tony?”
“What about Tony?” I braced myself for what she’d say next.
She reached over and pressed her hand over mine. I felt a slight tremor in her fingertips. “What will that poor child think when she discovers her aunt is living with a man without being married? What kind of message will you be sending her?”
“These are different times and people think nothing about couples living together.”
“In my day we called it shacking up.”
“We don’t call it that anymore.”
Vi was quiet for a moment. “I won’t say any more about this matter. It’s clear we’ll never agree, and I don’t want to cause a greater rift between us. It’s your decision to make. Be sure you aren’t making a mistake.”
I wonder what was best for my niece. But then, Tony had experience with girls Summer’s age. He might be able to provide some insight on what I should do. In the past few months I’d grown to depend on him and value his opinion.
“I’ll discuss this with Tony and see what he thinks.”
True to her word, Vi didn’t pursue the matter. She opened the door, swung her feet out, and threw me a brittle smile. “I’m ready to do some serious shopping. Are you?”
“You want me to move out.” Tony’s voice was louder than usual—close to shouting.
“No, I don’t want you to go, but I’m wondering whether you’d want to leave…just while Summer is here.” When he’d explained he didn’t want any more children, he’d said I was free to do what I wanted but if I babysat a friend’s kids, he’d make himself scarce. So I expected he’d be relieved at my offer.
“And where am I supposed to go?”
“To your house, of course.”
He inhaled a ragged breath. “I didn’t have time to tell you my good news yesterday. I found someone to rent my house, and my tenant moved in today.”
“Oh…”
“You spend one afternoon with that old bag, and I’m already heading out the door.”
I hated that he referred to Vi that way, but in a way I couldn’t blame him. He’d expected her to greet him with open arms. “This has nothing to do with Vi.”
“Of course it does. And that’s why I’m upset. That old lady has you by the throat, and she’s squeezing hard. You’re an adult. You shouldn’t bow down to what your ex-mother-in-law thinks is inappropriate for the kid.”
The muscles in my neck cramped. “I’m worried about Summer and the influence Dana’s had on her. Summer will be here for such a short while, and I want her to be able to open up. If you’re here, she’ll be less likely to come to me. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t fair to you.”
After a moment, he said a bit begrudgingly, “All right. I don’t want to stand in the way of you helping your niece. This means a lot to you.”
“You mean a lot to me, too, but this is an emergency. Under other circumstances, I would never ask you to go.”
After a moment the hard planes of his face softened. He reached for me, rested his hands on my shoulders. “You’re right, of course. Your niece needs to come first.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Thanks. I want Summer to get to know you.”
He grinned. “You aren’t afraid I’ll corrupt her?”
“Never, you’re a great guy, the best.”
“I’m sorry if I gave you a hard time about this. Before you got here, I’d been thinking much along the same lines. Just knowing that Violet wants me out of your life put me on the defensive. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she’d won. But this isn’t about her and me. It’s about your niece, and I want what’s best for the kid.”
“I’m glad you understand.”
“I don’t want to be away from you for even a few days. But I’ll move out first thing tomorrow morning. When you return from the airport, I’ll be gone.”
“Thank you. Where will you stay?”
He sent me the crooked grin I loved. “At the Holiday Inn in Portland. That way if you decide to visit wearing a skimpy maid costume, you won’t have far to drive.”
This was the Tony I knew.
And loved.
“What do you think?” I asked Tony, surveying my handiwork.
“Any girl would be happy with this room.” He set down the television he was carrying on the cedar chest that I’d moved against the wall across from the bed. He plugged in the portable DVD player I’d bought for Summer so she could have some privacy while she was here, especially if Tony’s daughter and her friends came to visit.
I glanced at my watch again and noticed only ten minutes had elapsed. My stomach felt queasy. The last time I’d seen Summer, she’d been eight, a freckle-faced angel who giggled at everything I said. She’d squealed with delight at the doll and the tea set I’d bought her. By the way her voice had rung with excitement at doing simple things like feeding fries to the seagulls on the wooden pier at Old Orchard Beach, and playing skeet ball, and going on rides, you’d have thought she’d never been to an amusement park. But according to Dana, she had.
Summer’s visit had been too short. I’d catalogued our time together under special memories and thought of my niece frequently.
What was Summer like now?
Was she into drugs?
I hoped not, but the possibility existed. What had become of the happy child left to fend for herself in the worst possible environment?
“I can’t wait to see her again,” I said to Tony who’d finished hauling up my purchases.
“Summer is one lucky kid to have you for an aunt.”
“I hope she feels that way, too.”
“Even my daughter would love these CDs. So a kid who hasn’t had much of anything should be ecstatic.”
“I hope so.”
He took my hand and led me down the stairs into the bedroom we shared. I watched him fold a few pairs of pants and several shirts and stack them into a duffel bag he’d put on the bed. “I’m only taking a few things. Keep my side of the bed warm, I’ll be back in a few days.”
Vi and I arrived at the Portland Jetport half an hour early. On the second floor, a glass wall and security guards prevented us from going farther so we waited near the glass door where we’d see Summer the instant she walked through.
“Thanks for coming with me,” I said.
“I wouldn’t have missed it. The poor child needs lots of support. I’m here for you and for her.”
I checked my watch once more. Only five minutes had gone by since the last time I’d checked.
Vi held her purse in one hand and a purple gift bag in the other, containing a small stuffed moose with the word Maine embroidered on its belly.
I carried a small brightly wrapped box tied with a red bow, which contained the charm bracelet I’d bought. I’d spent way more than I’d intended. At first I’d gone to the jewelry store wanting to buy a silver bracelet, but the gold ones had looked so much nicer. Since I only had one niece and no children of my own, I’d decided to splurge.
I hoped our gifts would help to cheer up Summer.
Some time later a group of passengers started toward the glass doors. I spotted a pretty blond girl at the same instant as Vi.
“Is that her?” Vi asked.
“I don’t know.” I waved a small card with the name Summer.
The girl looked at me blankly right before she was greeted by two people who could have been her parents.
I kept a watchful eye on the door. Several guys with Bates College lettermen jackets walked out, an older couple, a few businessmen with briefcases and a mother and a toddler pushing a stroller.
I’d begun to worry that something was wrong when a strange-looking girl appeared. Her short hair was dyed black with a red stripe along one side of her head. White makeup covered her face, and her eyes were ringed with black. She wore a dark, wrinkled shirt with holes at her elbows, and a black skirt that skimmed the top of scuffed army boots. Her ears, eyebrows, right nostril and her lower lip were pierced, her mouth traced in black. In her hands she carried a partially filled trash bag.
I waved the card. When she started to walk toward us, I prayed this wasn’t Dana’s child and instantly felt remorse.
“Summer?”
“’Fraid so.”
I reminded myself to breathe. “We’ll go collect your luggage.”
“No need. Got everything right here,” she said, indicating the plastic bag she was holding.
Vi spoke up, and I introduced them. “Summer, how nice to finally meet you,” she said.
“Whatever,” Summer replied.
I spotted a large silver bead on her tongue.
Reaching around her thin shoulders, I gave her a hug, but she stood stiff and unyielding.
“I was starting to worry you’d missed your flight.”
“Wouldn’tcha know, I was the last one allowed to leave the plane. The dude sitting next to me said I’d stolen his wallet. Come to find out the idiot forgot he’d put it in his backpack.”
CHAPTER 4
A s we walked across the street and entered the parking garage, I smiled and tried to make conversation with Summer, who dragged her plastic bag along the pavement and kept her gaze riveted on her boots that looked several sizes too large.