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“It was one of no consequence.”
Before she could stop him, he flipped the card over. The image was that of an unclothed man and woman. Beneath was written The Lovers. “Us?” he asked, finding himself wondering what her lips would taste like.
“The cards merely suggest routes we can take. They don’t determine our destinies,” she said in clipped tones, and began to gather the deck together.
The ice in her voice told him that she fully intended to ignore the implications of the last card. For a moment he experienced a rush of disappointment. In the next instant he was mocking himself. He didn’t need any complications in his life at the moment and Roxy Dugan would definitely be a complication.
“Good night,” Roxy said firmly as she rose and reached for the switch on the lamp.
This time he did take his cue, reminding himself to head into the kitchen for the drink of water he’d claimed he wanted. As he filled the glass then took a drink, he marveled at the many-faceted Ms. Dugan.
He was aware that some very powerful people believed in the various arts of prophecy but he’d thought she had a more practical nature. A suspicion he didn’t like began to nag at him.
Lying in her bed, Roxy couldn’t get Eric’s image out of her mind. With it came the memory of The Lovers card. “Thoughts like that are only going to lead to disappointment and embarrassment,” she grumbled at herself. She’d thought she’d accepted the fact that she would have to live out the rest of her life without male companionship. Apparently her mind had, but her body hadn’t. “Well, get used to it,” she growled, looking down at herself. “Nobody wants something as mangled and useless as you.”
Her jaw forming a hard line, she ordered herself to sleep.
The next morning Eric was sitting at the kitchen table drinking his second cup of coffee when Roxy entered. He’d woken early and already eaten. As she began to scramble her eggs, he studied her. Dressed in slacks and a plain white blouse with her hair pulled back and tightly braided, she moved with rigid efficiency. There was no evidence in her appearance or her manner reminiscent of the Gypsy-like creature he’d glimpsed last night. A part of him was disappointed.
Abruptly she turned to him. “I wish you’d quit staring at me. Just because I read Tarot cards doesn’t mean I’m a kook.” She grimaced self-consciously. “Eccentric maybe, but not daft or crazy.”
“To be honest, I’m not certain what you are,” he said bluntly. “We’ve barely spoken since my first day here.”
“I’ll admit, I’m a private person.” The way he continued to study her as if she had an eye in the middle of her forehead caused a rush of fear. What if he decided to leave? The cards seemed insistent that his presence was necessary for her to get Jamie back. “I’ve had a few hard knocks in my life. They’ve made me very cautious about people.”
“I don’t like being used.” Eric stated openly the suspicion that had been nagging at him ever since last night. “If you’ve involved me in some plan or scheme, you’d better tell me about it now.”
She met his gaze levelly. “There is no scheme or plan. I don’t even know why your presence here should matter. In fact, it’s started causing gossip.”
Eric raised an eyebrow questioningly.
“I’ve told everyone that you’re merely helping me repair the house, but I’ve noticed a few skewed glances,” she elaborated. “The truth is, I’ve considered asking you to leave. I don’t want my reputation questioned. That could cause trouble. But in the past I’ve ignored the cards and lived to regret it.”
Her frustration obviously was genuine. The depth of her belief in the cards was again also evident. Eric didn’t like encouraging that, but he hated seeing her so upset. “Maybe my helping you get this place in shape is why I’m here. They say timing is everything. It could be that you were running out of time for the repairs.”
Roxy shrugged. “Maybe.” Her chin trembled. “Or maybe I’m looking for things in the cards that aren’t there.”
At least she wasn’t totally impractical where the cards were concerned, he thought with relief. But, although she’d opened the door for him to voice his own skepticism, the anguish in her eyes made him want to comfort her. “I’m not convinced anyone can read the future, but I do believe in instincts,” he said. “With me, it’s a prickling sensation on the back of the neck that warns me when I’m headed for trouble. What do your instincts tell you?”
They tell me that having you here could cause me a great deal of frustration and grief, her inner voice responded, admitting that in spite of the harsh talk she’d had with herself the night before, she continued to be attracted to him. A part of her wanted desperately to believe that she’d misread the cards and it was safe to send him on his way. But she knew that part was allowing itself to be guided by fear. After a moment’s hesitation, she said aloud, “They tell me to believe in the cards.”
He wasn’t certain he’d done her a favor by reestablishing her belief in the Tarot, but the relief he saw in her eyes brought pleasure and he smiled crookedly. “Then that’s what I’d suggest you do,” he heard himself saying.
His smile was infectious and she started to smile back. Careful, her inner voice warned. He’s getting very close to breaking down the wall of protection you’ve built. Her jaw tensed, stopping the smile, and she turned back to the stove.
Eric frowned at her back. He could almost see the icy barrier she was determined to keep between them, and he experienced a rush of frustration. You don’t really want to get involved with a woman who lets a deck of cards guide her life, do you? he chided himself. The frustration lessened and he rose. “I’ve got a lot of work to do,” he said, carrying his cup to the sink and rinsing it out. “Have a good day,” he added, and left.
Alone in the kitchen, Roxy looked down at her overly cooked eggs. “How do nuns do it?” she muttered. Maybe she’d stop in at the video store and get a tape on yoga or meditation or maybe one of each. “Or I could just picture the expression of horror on his face that will appear if he ever sees me disrobed.” This thought brought a cold chill and her barrier once again grew strong.
A few minutes later Eric watched from the ladder as Roxy drove away. He didn’t understand why the urge to help her was actually growing stronger. She wouldn’t even allow him to be a friend. He concluded that Maude and the boy Jamie were behind his increasing desire to help. The boy’s story reminded him of his own youth. As for Maude, she’d liked Roxy enough to leave her this place. That meant Maude would have wanted him to help, and he owed Maude.
Returning his attention to the window frame he was caulking, he considered the Tarot cards. Although he was skeptical about them, he couldn’t make himself entirely discount the fact that some people had a sixth sense. The cards could simply be Roxy’s way of communicating with her inner voice.
As he’d told her, with him it was a prickling on the back of his neck. A couple of times the effect had been so intense he’d known that when he turned around he’d be facing the criminal he was after. Sometimes it had taken a while to collect the evidence before he could arrest the man or woman, but at least he’d known who to keep an eye on and who never to turn his back on again.
He grimaced self-mockingly. The problem was knowing how to interpret that prickling. He’d felt it when he’d dated Susan Irving, but he’d believed it was because he thought she wanted a commitment.
“And it could be that Roxy’s instincts aren’t working properly this time and she’s interpreting the cards incorrectly,” he muttered under his breath. Besides, he admitted, as open-minded as he tried to be, he still couldn’t make himself believe that a deck of cards could tell anyone anything. It was too much like looking into a crystal ball or using some other conjurer’s trick.
And maybe he was trying to help the wrong person. He’d always been a sucker for a maiden in distress, but just maybe the attachment between Roxy and the boy was more one-sided than she’d led him to believe and Jamie might be happier without her. Maude had a soft heart and preferred to see the good in everyone. She could have overlooked or missed the faults that had caused the social services people to take Jamie away from Roxy. On the other hand, it had been Eric’s experience that the social services people sometimes made mistakes.
And consulting his instincts didn’t help. Roxy Dugan caused a confusing mix.
“I’ll just bide my time for a few more days and see what develops,” he decided.
Chapter Four
Three days later Eric was sitting on the front porch taking an afternoon break when an ancient-looking pickup truck came down the long dirt drive. It stopped in front of the house and an old man and a young boy climbed out. Eric judged the man to be a farmer by his manner, his bib overalls and his leathery-looking skin that gave evidence of him having spent a great deal of time in the weather. The boy was somewhere around nine or ten years old, Eric decided, and slender to the point of looking unhealthy. His long, shaggy black hair needed a cut and a good combing and his clothes, clearly hand-me-downs, were dirty and didn’t fit properly. Slung on his back was a heavily laden knapsack.
“Afternoon,” Eric said, rising and climbing down from the porch.
The old man continued toward him and extended a hand. “Afternoon. You the handyman who’s been helping Roxy get this place in shape?”
“Yes.” Accepting the handshake, Eric noticed that the boy had stopped several feet back and was standing immobile staring at him with an unnerving intensity. He cast a smile toward the youth, but the child’s gaze remained coolly distant. Remind you of someone else you know? he mused dryly. He’d been thinking of Roxy. Suddenly he was thinking of himself and recalling that his manner and expression hadn’t been much different from that of the child’s when he’d been dropped off at Maude’s door.
“Found the boy a few miles down the road. Recognized him as one of Maude and Roxy’s. I told him the place was closed, but appears he’s determined to come back. Don’t talk much. Not at all, actually.”
Eric’s gaze jerked to the boy. Jamie? he wondered, recalling Roxy’s determined belief the boy would return to the farm. But even she, he was certain, wasn’t expecting this kind of arrival.
“Figured Roxy’d know best what to do with him,” the farmer concluded, and with a small salute of goodbye he turned back to his truck. Pausing by the youth, he shook his head. “You best start putting some meat on those bones. A strong gust of wind could blow you away.”
The boy made no response. Not even acknowledging the farmer’s presence, he continued to stand rigid, staring at Eric.
“Strange one, that one,” the farmer muttered.
“Thanks for dropping him off,” Eric called out, suddenly realizing he should say something.
The farmer cast back a glance that indicated that he wasn’t so certain he’d done Eric a favor, then he climbed into his truck and left.
Eric barely noticed his departure. His attention had returned to the boy. If he was right about the child’s identity, then Roxy’s attachment hadn’t been one-sided. “Roxy’s in town working,” he said. “How about if I fix you something to eat while you wait?”
The boy nodded and headed toward the house. Eric followed him inside. As the child continued up to the second floor, obviously with a destination in mind, Eric went into the kitchen.
A few minutes later the boy joined him. He’d washed his face and hands and made an attempt to smooth his tangled mass of hair. Maude had always insisted the boys come to the table with clean hands and face, Eric recalled.
There had been fried chicken left from the night before and he’d put the platter on the table along with a glass of milk and a loaf of bread. The boy ate hungrily. Standing, leaning on the counter watching him, Eric wondered when he’d last had a meal.
“There’s some ice cream if you have room for dessert,” he offered when the boy finished a third piece of chicken and didn’t reach for a fourth.
The boy nodded.
In an experiment to see if he could make the boy speak, Eric asked, “Vanilla or chocolate or both?”
For a long moment the boy made no response, then he held up two fingers.
Eric was now certain of the identity of this newcomer. He dished up two bowls of ice cream and seated himself at the table. “I’m Eric,” he introduced himself.
The boy looked up momentarily from his bowl of ice cream in acknowledgment but said nothing before returning his attention to the sweet treat.
“Can I assume you’re Jamie?” Eric asked bluntly.
The boy merely looked up at the clock on the wall. It read three-fifteen.
Taking a guess that the child was wondering when Roxy would be home, Eric said, “Roxy’s on the seven-to-three shift. She was going to do a little shopping when she finished work. I’m expecting her back around four.”
Quickly finishing his ice cream, the youth carried his bowl, plate and glass to the sink, washed them and put them in the dish drainer. Then he put the chicken and bread away and left the kitchen.
Eric washed his own bowl, then went looking for the boy. He found him sitting on the front porch step, his gaze locked on the road.
“I was caulking windows,” Eric said. “If you need me, just yell or make some sort of noise.”
The boy gave no sign that he’d even heard.
“Make yourself at home,” Eric added, and went back to work. Old memories flashed through his mind as he climbed the ladder. He’d sat in that same place, with that same intense expression on his face, for days after his grandparents had brought him here. As lousy as life with them had been, accepting the fact that they’d dumped him off like a bag of garbage had been difficult. He’d imagined them coming back in tears, telling him that they’d realized they loved him and wanted him back. But they hadn’t come, and eventually he’d accepted the fact that as far as his family was concerned, he was disposed of, never to be thought of again.
The sound of a car’s engine caught his attention. He looked toward the main road and saw Roxy turning onto the long drive. Climbing down from the ladder, he walked to the corner of the house and stopped. From there he could observe her and the boy.
Nearing the house, Roxy blinked, certain she was seeing things. Then the tears began to flow. Parking the car with a screech, she jumped out and hurried toward the porch. A few feet from Jamie, she came to an abrupt halt. He had risen, but his expression wasn’t one of happy greeting. His back was straight with defiant pride and he was looking at her with hurtful accusation.
“I didn’t come to visit like I promised because they wouldn’t tell me where you were,” she said, brushing at her tears. “I’ve been working, getting the house into shape, hoping they would let me have you back.” She saw his bottom lip tremble and then go crooked and knew he was biting on the inside to keep it firm. “I missed you,” she said, holding her arms out toward him.
Suddenly he was running into her embrace.
Watching them, Eric couldn’t deny the bond between them, and he envied Jamie. He’d never had that kind of love. Maude had loved him, but she’d loved all of her boys the same. She’d been more of a kindly aunt than a mother. The relationship between Jamie and Roxy clearly went much deeper.
Holding the boy close, Roxy felt panic sweep through her. He was much too thin. Loosing her hold, she gently grasped him by the upper arms and moved him a little away from her for a more thorough inspection. “Didn’t they feed you? And those clothes. Surely the social services people provided money for you to have clothes.”
He shrugged as if to say those things didn’t matter.
Continuing to kneel in front of him, she combed his hair away from his face with her fingers. “How did you get here?”
From the pocket of the baggy pants, he pulled out a map and proudly displayed it.
“You found your way here on your own?” she demanded, and the hope that he’d been legitimately returned to her vanished. “You ran away?”
Again he shrugged as if that didn’t matter.
“Where did you run away from?”
He pointed to Philadelphia.
Horror at what could have happened to him along the way caused her stomach to knot. “That’s over thirty miles.”
He frowned as if her concern was childish.
Tears of joy and relief again flowed as she drew him back into her arms.
“Looks like we’ve got company coming,” Eric said, moving toward them.
Roxy recognized the car. Her hold on Jamie tightened. “It’s Mary Chambers from social services.”
Two pairs of accusing eyes turned on Eric.
He scowled. “I didn’t tell anyone he was here, but it stands to reason that the authorities would check to see if he’d made contact. Or maybe the farmer who picked him up felt it was his civic duty to report him.”
“Go inside,” Roxy ordered the boy, and he quickly obeyed.
“Looks like Jamie found his way back,” Mary noted, getting out of her car and approaching Eric and Roxy.
Keeping his expression friendly, Eric made a quick appraisal, sizing her up for battle. She was medium in build with graying hair and had the manner of someone there on official business, but there was a softness in her eyes that suggested that she was not an enemy.
Roxy stepped in front of the woman, barring her from continuing to the house. “He looks as if he hasn’t eaten in weeks and his clothes are a disgrace. You assured me he was being well looked after.” A bitter edge entered her voice. “Better than I could look after him.” She repeated the social worker’s words.
Mary’s official manner softened and apology showed on her face. “We had to send him back to Philadelphia. That’s where his family was. They tried to reunite them, but no one would take him in, so he went into the system there.”
Roxy knew Mary had a good heart. “You want to see what happened to him?” She glanced over her shoulder toward the house. “Jamie, come out.”
Reluctantly, the boy obeyed.
Eric watched the social worker’s face. Her jaw stiffened, but she didn’t appear surprised.
“They told me he’d begun to refuse to eat,” she said. “I checked his record. He’s been in five different homes since he left here. In spite of the counseling provided, he continued to refuse to speak. After a short while in each home, the foster parents would call social services and say they felt they couldn’t help him and request that he be moved.”
Jamie had come to stand beside Roxy. Eric glanced at him and noticed that he was holding her hand so tightly both were white.
Mary’s gaze continued to rest on the child’s gaunt features. “I really thought he’d be better off in a real home.”
Roxy scowled. “This is a real home.”
Mary frowned back. “You have to work. When school isn’t in session, he’d be on his own all day. And boys need a father figure.”
“I’d have found someone to watch over him,” Roxy shot back. “And a lot of kids grow up in single-parent homes and turn out just fine as long as they’re loved and wanted, and he is loved and wanted here.”
Mary breathed a harsh sigh. “There’s nothing I can do. He’s not in my jurisdiction. He’s part of the Philadelphia system and they want him back.”
Roxy shifted so that Jamie was behind her. “They can’t have him back. They’ve done enough damage.”
Mary scowled. “The law is on their side.”
“If you send him back and he again refuses to eat, he could die,” Eric cautioned, deciding it was time for him to step into the fray. “He doesn’t look as if he’s got much more weight to lose before he’s in serious trouble.”
For a long moment Mary said nothing, her gaze resting on the boy. Abruptly her attention shifted to Roxy. “Do you still have that paper his grandmother signed giving Maude guardianship?”
Hope blossomed in Roxy. “Yes.”
“I’ll take it to Judge Blaire. He’s an old friend and supporter of Maude’s. I’ll argue that since she left you everything, the guardianship should revert to you.”
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