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Whether that part of the family history was true or not, Cooper couldn’t really say. But he did know for more than a century, a Dunn had ranched this land. How could he walk away from that?
“Cooper, is that what you want? You want to sell the Diamond D?”
Her voice finally penetrated his deep thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he said, swiping a weary hand over his face. “Were you asking me something?”
She repeated her questions and he quickly shook his head.
“No. I don’t want to sell the ranch.”
Her mind spinning, Emily’s gaze clung to his hard face. “But you can’t want to stay here!”
His gray eyes cut down to hers and once again, memories swamped her. No man, including her husband, had gotten as close to her as Cooper had. When she’d been in his arms, the rest of the world had faded away. Nothing had mattered but him and having him close. If he stayed on the Diamond D she’d be so tempted...so crazy all over again.
“Why?”
“Because this isn’t the way you want to live! You’ve got a career. And anyway, I live here alone. It wouldn’t look...right if you were to stay in the house with me.”
His lips twisting with wry amusement, he went over to the window and glanced outside. “I don’t really see any neighbors out there watching us.”
“Don’t be flip. You know I have friends and family around here. They’ll all think it rather odd, don’t you think? A brother-in-law moving in with his freshly widowed sister-in-law.”
“Moving in,” he repeated with a snort. “You make it sound like we’re two lovers who can’t wait to set up housekeeping with each other.”
His sarcasm stung her and she shot him a disgusted look. “That’s exactly the way it will sound to everybody else, too!”
Turning his back on her, Cooper stared out the murky windowpanes. He could feel cold air seeping around the wooden window frames, but the draft did little to cool his thoughts. Why did she have to remind him of how it had been to love her? She was his brother’s widow and that’s the way it had to stay.
“I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks!” he said sharply. “This is between you and me. Like it or not, we own this ranch together. And I don’t want to see it go under.”
If anyone could get the Diamond D going, Emily thought reluctantly, it would be Cooper. He might have been riding in the spotlight for the past ten years, but he knew ranching backward and forward. And from the looks of him, he had the energy to follow his ideas through. But what about the mental commitment? How long would it be before he was bored and ready to head back to Cheyenne or Calgary or San Antonio?
No, Emily decided. She didn’t want him here. Especially with the baby coming. For so long she’d desperately wanted a child and now that she was finally pregnant she wanted to focus all her energy on carrying a healthy baby to full term. Cooper’s presence would dredge up memories too painful to bear.
“I won’t let the Diamond D go under. I promise you that,” she told him.
He turned and stared at her. “What do you mean, you won’t let it? It’s already on its way.”
She flushed. “Not totally. I still have a hundred and fifty head of cattle and ten head of horses.”
His eyes quickly narrowed. “What about the horse that caused Kenneth’s accident?”
She shook her head. “Daddy’s already sold him.”
He was visibly relieved. “Good. I didn’t relish the idea of putting a horse down, but I would have.”
Emily shook her head with disapproval. “As if that would do Kenneth any good now. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. A horse for a man. Is that your way of thinking?”
“Something like that.”
“I can’t imagine you laying one angry hand on a horse. You always loved them. And they you. I guess that’s why they’ve made you rich and famous.”
He walked toward her then and for a moment the smile spreading over his face made her forget he’d ever been gone.
“Who says I’m rich and famous?”
She shrugged, wishing she could keep quiet around this man. She didn’t want him getting the idea he’d been in her thoughts down through the years. “Oh, everyone here in Lincoln, I suppose.”
“Then everyone is wrong. I’m just one good cowboy out of many.”
More than bothered by his closeness, Emily stepped off the hearth and away from him. “I’m going to go make a pot of coffee. It’s nearly time for lunch and then I have to feed the cattle.”
“Who’s been doing your feeding?”
“My dad. But I told him not to come today. I want to take care of things myself and I can’t do that moping around the house.”
She didn’t look strong enough to drive a pickup, much less pitch a bale of hay off the back of it. But maybe her appearance was deceiving. Cooper certainly hoped that was the case.
He followed her out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen. Built on the north side of the house, the room was naturally colder than the others. Rubbing his hands together, Cooper went over to a gas heater on the wall and was dismayed to see it wasn’t burning.
“Why don’t you have the fire on? It’s miserable in here,” he muttered.
As Emily filled a blue granite percolator with cold water, she glanced over her shoulder at him. “A fire means gas and the cost of LP is outrageous now. If you’re cold put more clothes on.”
Emily had always been a practical woman, but this was ridiculous. “Damn it all, Emily, do you think I can’t buy a tank of gas?”
He went over to the cabinets and jerked open a drawer he remembered being a catchall. Thankfully it still was and a box of matches was there among the odds and ends. He carried them back to the heater, lit it and turned the control knob to high position.
Her hands on her hips, Emily glared at him in silence. Cooper lifted his brows at her.
“I have on all the clothes I want to have on,” he said.
“You might own half of this ranch, but I’m the one who pays the bills. I’m not going to buy extra gas just so you can sit around dressed like you’re in the Bahamas.”
Cooper glanced pointedly down at his flannel shirt. “I haven’t seen too many of these on the beach before.”
Whirling her back to him, she poured a stiff amount of coffee grounds into the pot, then plopped the lid down and whammed the whole thing on a burner on the cookstove.
“Emily, I just told you I can pay for the gas. It’s no problem.”
“I’ll not have you paying for anything! Not while there’s breath in my body,” she hissed, her back still to him.
The venom in her voice stunned him. He’d expected her to be harboring a few bad feelings toward him. But not this bad.
“You’d rather freeze and keep your pride, I suppose,” he said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “You’d rather sit around in a cold, drafty house and take the chance of getting bronchitis or pneumonia than take a few dollars from me.”
A few dollars wouldn’t fill the propane tank, Emily wanted to shout at him. It would take several hundred and he knew it. But now that he was so successful, maybe he considered that amount as next to nothing.
Turning, she lifted her eyes to his. “Look, Cooper, the minute you start paying part of the bills, you’ll get the idea you can tell me what to do. I won’t have that.”
He threw up his hands in a helpless gesture. “I can’t do anything for you, is that it?”
His voice was still edged with sarcasm, but she could hear something else in it, too. A need of sorts that made her heart want to weep. Ten years ago she would have given anything to have him concerned about her welfare. But he’d been too busy planning his own life and his own career. She’d been left high and dry and he’d never looked back until now. Did he honestly think she would want to accept anything from him after the pain he caused her?
Anger pushing her away from the cabinets, she went over to stand in front of him. “Buy the damn gas if you want. Just don’t start giving me orders, understand?”
Seeing her intention to walk away, he grabbed her by the upper arm and dragged her back to him. Her bosom heaving, she glared up at him and tried to jerk away, but he wouldn’t slacken his hold.
“You’ve grown as hard as nails, Emily. Why? Has your life here been that bad?”
Compared to the grip he had on her arm, his voice was soft. The sound of it caught at something inside Emily and she knew above all things now, she had to hold on to her composure. She could never let herself break down and admit to him that her marriage to Kenneth had grown into a painful one.
“I’m not being hard, Cooper. I’m being realistic.”
His eyes gently roamed her upturned face and as they did he wondered what had happened to the soft, beautiful woman who dreamed and hoped and looked at life with stars in her eyes. And in that moment, he knew he’d give anything to see that woman again.
“I never thought I’d come back and find you like this,” he murmured.
She swallowed as bittersweet emotions balled in her throat. “I never thought you’d come back, period,” she countered.
Cooper didn’t profess to know women. Down through the years he’d had little time for the opposite sex. He’d never really been around any of them enough to learn their likes and dislikes, what they were thinking and feeling. But at one time in his life, he’d known Emily. And as he took in the pain on her face, it struck him that Kenneth wasn’t the one that had made her like this. He had.
“Emily, I—”
Before he could say another word, Emily tore loose from his grip and fled the room.
Cooper was still staring after her when the sound of the coffee boiling out the spout and onto the cookstove finally snared his attention.
He went over and adjusted the burner to a slow perk, then pulled a coffee mug out of the cupboard. Apparently Emily was no longer in the mood for coffee, or him.
But whether she wanted to or not, she was going to have to get in the mood for him, he thought grimly. Because there was no way in hell he was going to leave now.
A few minutes later, as Cooper was finishing his coffee, Emily returned to the kitchen. Except for two bright spots on her cheeks, she looked as white as bleached flour. A couple of old coats were thrown across her arm and tall rubber boots were on her feet.
Tossing one of the coats at him, she said, “You wanted to help. Put that on and come with me.”
Unaffected by her order, he remained in his chair, his hands cradled around the coffee mug. “It’s time for lunch.”
“We can eat whenever we get back,” she said in a clipped voice.
If she’d been a man, Cooper would have taken the coat and thrown it straight at her. As it was, he got up from his chair, snatched away the coat that was still on her arm and pushed her into a chair.
“We’re going to eat. Now!”
“I’m not hungry,” she retorted.
“It looks as though you’re never hungry, but you’re going to eat just the same,” he snapped back at her.
Indignant, Emily watched him rummage through the shelves of the refrigerator. One by one he set out a plate of fried chicken, a bowl of potato salad, a container of baked beans and a saucer of sliced tomatoes.
At the cabinets he searched until he found two plates and forks, salt and pepper and a roll of paper towels. After pouring her a mugful of coffee, he refilled his own.
“Eat,” he said as he took a seat to her left.
She glared at him. “I told you not to be giving me orders.”
“I haven’t paid any bills so the deal isn’t on yet”
As far as Emily was concerned, the deal would never be on. But she filled her plate just the same and made an earnest attempt to eat.
Her aunt Justine was a registered nurse and she’d been stressing over and over to Emily just how important it was for her baby to get the proper nourishment in the early stages of development Even if she didn’t have much of an appetite, she would eat for her baby’s sake. The child was the one ray of light she could look forward to, the very purpose of her being. She wouldn’t let Cooper or anything jeopardize her pregnancy.
“I want to talk to you,” she told him and when he looked at her with raised brows, she added, “Seriously.”
“I’m already getting the urge to call you Your Honor. Just how much more serious do you want to get?”
A little smile slowly crossed her face. In spite of everything that had happened it was nice to see he hadn’t lost his wit. It had been one of her favorite things about him. He’d always been able to make her laugh.
When she’d first met Cooper, he’d been sidelined from his bronc riding with a broken leg and had come home to the Diamond D to heal. He’d needed a nurse to help him with physical therapy and eventually, through a mutual friend, he’d learned Justine had worked as a therapist and didn’t live all that far away.
When her aunt had driven out to the Diamond D to meet Cooper, she’d invited Emily to accompany her. From the first moment she’d laid eyes on him, she’d been awestruck. Not because he’d already started to make a name for himself in the world of rodeo. Athletes had never really impressed Emily all that much, even when they pitted their strength against a twelve-hundred-pound horse. But for some unexplainable reason, she’d felt an instant connection to Cooper, a pull like an electric force from which she couldn’t break away.
That had been more than ten years ago. Now he was back sitting only a few inches away and here she was once again feeling that same pull toward him. She had to stop it, she firmly told herself. She couldn’t let herself feel drawn to this man. He was a user. A heartbreaker. She didn’t need him.
“I want you to rethink this idea you have about staying here on the Diamond D,” she told him. “You only have a couple more months to go before the season ends and then you’ll have a bit of time off after the National Finals in Las Vegas. At this late date, it doesn’t make sense for you to sideline your career. You can always come back later and check on the ranch.”
He shot her a skeptical look. “And what’s going to happen during November and December? You can’t keep this place going by yourself.”
She lifted her chin proudly. “Most of it, I can. And Daddy is already checking on a man to help me with the heavier work. If you feel you just have to do something, you can contribute to his wages. Otherwise, you’re going to lose a lot of money and possibly even your position in the PRCA standings.”
Any other time Cooper would have agreed with her, even appreciated the common sense she was using toward both their predicaments. But oddly enough, the money he might win in the next couple of months, or his number one position in the money earned column, didn’t really mean what it once had to Cooper. He could live without the glory, the stardom and the big paychecks.
“I’m not all that worried about the next two months of rodeos. I’m more concerned about getting things done around here. There’s hardly enough hay for the horses, let alone the cattle. Fences are falling down. The roof on the barn is sagging in and God only knows what else needs to be repaired. You said it had taken years for the ranch to get in this run-down condition, well, it looks as though it’s going to take quite a long time to fix it.”
Emily knew he was right. And she should probably be glad he wanted to make things better. But she couldn’t live in the same house with him. She wasn’t strong enough to forgive or forget what he’d done to her. Even worse, she wasn’t at all sure she had the strength or courage to resist him.
“You’re right. It will. But wouldn’t it make more sense for you to simply hire the work done?”
He shrugged while his eyes made a shrewd assessment of her face. “Actually, the idea of doing some good ol’ outdoor manual labor appeals to me.”
“Sure,” she said with dry disbelief. “This from a man who earns his living in eight-second intervals.”
Even though she was being calm enough and sensible enough, Cooper could see that Emily didn’t want him here. She either hated him, he concluded, or she was actually worried about what others might think of them living in the same house together.
“You’ve made it obvious you don’t want me here, Emily. And I’ll tell you something else. I’m not all that sure I want to be here.” His gray eyes pinned hers. “You and I aren’t exactly two people who should be thrown together as partners. But like it or not, we are.”
She put down her fork and crumpled her dirty napkin. “I can live with us both owning the ranch. As long as you’re a silent partner.”
He very nearly laughed and for a split second Emily wished that ten years had never passed and she was back in that time when she’d loved and laughed and hoped along with him.
“I never was good at keeping my mouth shut,” he said, while shoveling the last of the potato salad from his plate. “But I’ll consider your suggestion. Maybe we can work something out so you won’t have to put up with me and I won’t have to miss the last of the rodeo season.”
Dear God, she silently prayed, maybe he was finally listening to her. Cooper had to understand the two of them weren’t meant to be working partners or partners of any sort. He needed to leave here before the past came crashing in on both of them.
Chapter Three
Minutes later at the hay barn, Cooper ordered Emily to stand to one side while he loaded the back of an old work truck with several bales of alfalfa and three hundred pounds of caked feed.
As she watched him lift the heavy bales of hay, she knew it was a job she shouldn’t be doing. Especially with her history of miscarriage. But she wasn’t about to let Cooper know any part of what had happened to her after he’d left the ranch. Today she would accept his help and be grateful for it and hopefully by tomorrow she could persuade him to leave the Diamond D in her care. Maybe he’d stay away for another ten years.
If anything, the snowfall had grown heavier. As the old truck jostled over a rutted track toward the feeding ground, the wipers struggled to scrape away the fat flakes of ice sticking to the windshield.
Any other time, Emily would have enjoyed seeing the sage and pinon decorated in white, but today she hardly noticed the falling snow. Cooper had distracted her to say the least.
“Are you cold?”
His question caused her to glance across the seat at him. “I’m okay.”
He twisted the knob on the heater to a warmer setting. “Are you sure this heater even works? The air blowing from the defrost vents feels like it’s coming off the north pole.”
“What do you expect in this weather?”
He expected his brother would have a decent work truck with a heater. In bad weather it wasn’t safe for a person to get this far away from the ranch without a source of heat.
“Everything on this damn place is about to fall apart!” he muttered.
Including her, Emily thought, as she huddled inside her old wool work coat and jammed her gloved hands between her legs.
“You’ve just gotten soft,” she told him.
He snorted. “I admit I’ve been gone from this place for a long time, but since then I damn well haven’t gone soft or lazy. Unlike somebody else around here.”
Emily whipped around on the seat to face him. “If you’re implying I have, then just keep your mouth shut! You don’t know what I’ve been doing since you’ve been gone!”
His eyes bored into her. “Well, if you and Kenneth did all that much work, I sure as hell would like to see it. So far there’s not a building, a shed or a fence on this property that looks as though it’s had any attention in years!”
She didn’t know why he’d suddenly gotten so angry. Just because the heater was lukewarm didn’t warrant this sort of outburst from him.
“I told you Kenneth lost interest.”
“What was he doing with his time?”
The dry look she shot him said, you ought to know. “He spent his time with the horses. Sorta like someone else who used to live here.”
The sheepish expression stealing over his face told Emily she hadn’t given him the answer he was expecting.
Muttering a curse under his breath, he braked the old truck to a halt. A short distance away were a group of wooden feed troughs sheltered from the north wind by a stand of juniper and piñon pine.
“You know,” he said thoughtfully, “I keep wondering why you’ve hung around here for so long.”
Emily quickly looked away from him and out the window. The cattle were several rises over from them, but the animals had heard the truck and were now making their way in a hungry trot toward the feed grounds.
“Like I told you this morning, I’ve hung around because this is my home. And Kenneth was my husband.”
He studied the back of her old black hat and the blond braid lying against her ranch coat. The garment had once been dark brown but it had obviously been washed and worn until the color now resembled dead grass. Her hair was still beautiful, but it looked as though she’d trimmed it herself. Cooper wondered how long it had been since she’d spent time just for herself, doing those feminine things women do with their skin and hair and nails.
A faint scowl on his face, Cooper said, “It appears to me as if he wasn’t being all that good of one. Or is that simply what you want me to believe?”
His question caused tears to collect in Emily’s throat. More than anything she didn’t want to belittle Kenneth to him. At one time the man had seemed to love her. And up until the past couple of years, he’d been a decent husband to her. It hadn’t been his fault that she’d failed him somewhere along the way.
“Your brother was a good man,” she said quietly. “He did...the best he could.”
Before Cooper was able to respond, Emily climbed out of the truck and hurried around to the tailgate. She was reaching for a sack of feed when his hands came down on her shoulders.
“Move out of the way. I’ll do this.”
Digging in her boot heels, she twisted her head around enough to see his face. “You’re supposed to be helping. Not giving orders.”
“When did you get so damn stubborn?”
Her lips parted to answer, but suddenly his grip on her shoulders eased. The expression on his face softened and she forgot all about his question. For the first time in years, Cooper was touching her as though he really meant it and all Emily wanted to do was turn and bury her face in his chest, beg him to hold her and never let her go.
“Cooper, I—”
Troubled by the sudden charge of awareness between them, Cooper quickly thrust her aside and slung the fifty-pound sack of feed over his shoulder.
“If you want to do something, follow me and start spreading the cake while I get the other sacks,” he said gruffly.
Relieved that he’d snapped her back to reality, Emily started after him. He set the sack of feed at one end of the nearest trough, then started to rip the string to open it.
“I’ll do that,” Emily quickly offered. “You go get the rest of the sacks before all the cattle get here. With this bit of snow on the ground they’re going to be hungry and rowdy.”
“Are any of them mean?”
“No,” she assured him. “I promise you won’t have to make a mad dash for the truck.”
To Emily’s surprise he grinned. “I’ll keep an eye out anyway,” he told her.
In a matter of moments the bawling steers reached the feed grounds and swarmed Emily. Working her way through the hungry cattle, she poured a long string of hard green pellets down the center of the wooden trough.
Once the sack was empty, she began walking to the next trough where Cooper had already placed another sack.
In their eagerness to be fed, the steers trotted ahead and around her. Emily pushed several animals out of her path, but before she was aware of the danger behind her she was sent sprawling to the ground.
The instant Cooper saw Emily fall, he tossed the sack from his shoulder and ran to her. She was lying facedown. A few feet away her hat had been stomped into the dirt and snow.
His heart pounding with fear, Cooper knelt over her and gently touched the back of her head. “Emily! My God, are you all right?”