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As he headed back along the corridor Bonnie passed him on the stairs carrying Freya in her arms. ‘Sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I made her dinner earlier and she’s knackered. I’m just going to put her to bed. I didn’t get a chance to put anything on for our dinner.’
Jacob noticed the circles under her eyes. He didn’t want her to feel as if she had to do anything for him. ‘How about I make it simple? Beans on toast?’
She smiled. It was the first genuine smile that he’d seen today. ‘Perfect. Thank you.’
His culinary skills were just about up to beans on toast. He opened a bottle of white wine and spent a few minutes setting a new fire and lighting it. As his fingers touched the coal he was swamped by a whole host of memories. Last time he’d lit a fire he’d been trying to keep his shivering mother warm. She’d been at the stage when she’d been permanently cold, even though their house hadn’t been cold.
Once she’d died, he’d never gone to the bother of cleaning out the fireplace and restocking it. Neither had his father.
The fire lit quickly. Probably due to the modern firelighters. By the time he’d finished the dinner in the kitchen and walked back through with them both on a tray, Bonnie was sitting on the leather sofa, mesmerised by the fire. She jumped when he set the tray down on the low wooden table. ‘Give me a sec,’ he said, before returning with the wine and two glasses.
Her freshly washed dark auburn hair was piled up in a loose knot on top of her head, with a few little curling strands escaping. She’d changed into her favourite jeans and a gold T-shirt with a few scattered sequins that caught the flickering flames from the fire. Her pale skin glowed in the light.
She sighed as he poured the wine and she settled the plate on her knees. ‘I don’t know if I deserve this.’
Jacob looked at her sideways. He couldn’t hide the smile on his face. She seemed so despondent. ‘I’m not sure you do either. But it’s either we drink wine together, or we fight. Take your pick.’ He held up his glass towards her.
She paused for a second before catching a glimpse of the laughter in his eyes, then lifted her glass and clinked it against his. ‘I’m too tired to fight. I’ll just drink the wine.’
They ate companionably together. Finishing the first glass of wine, then pouring another. Jacob hadn’t bothered to put the TV or radio on. The only noise was the hiss and cracks coming from the fire.
Bonnie pulled her feet up onto the sofa, giving him a glimpse of her pink-painted toes.
‘It’s amazing, isn’t it?’
He nodded. Watching the fire was quite mesmerising. He could easily lose a few hours a night doing this, particularly if he had a warm body lying next to him on the sofa. His guts twisted. Why hadn’t he done this before?
‘I’m sorry about the wall,’ she whispered again.
His eyes fixed on hers in the flickering firelight. They gleamed in the orange and yellow light. He looked over to the black ugly mark on the wall and couldn’t help but start to laugh.
It was hideous. But it could be fixed. By tomorrow it would be freshly painted and forgotten about. His shoulders started to shake, the wine in his glass swaying from side to side.
‘What did you say when it happened?’ He could barely get the words out for laughter.
She started to laugh too and shook her head. ‘You’ve no idea. I was in the kitchen with Freya and I just heard this whooshing noise and a thump. The guy landed on his backside in the middle of the floor. He looked as if he was about to be sick.’
Now the laughter had finally started she seemed relieved to get it out. ‘Then I came through and just burst into tears. I don’t think that helped him.’
‘I’ll bet it didn’t.’
He turned towards her on the sofa, his arm already stretched behind her head. It was only natural she turned towards him too.
‘Please tell me you’re not really mad with me.’
He shook his head and reached his finger up to touch her cheek. He didn’t even think before he did it. It just seemed like the most natural act in the world. The act he’d wanted to do a few days before in the sluice room.
‘I’m not mad at you. What you did was nice. It was thoughtful.’ He gave a little shrug. ‘I always meant to get around to it. It just never happened.’ His voice tailed off a little. ‘Other stuff got in the way.’
Her hand came up and rested on his bare arm. ‘What other stuff?’
It was like a whole host of tiny electric shocks racing up his arm. He could feel the warmth of her skin next to his. All he wanted to do was grab her whole body and press it against his. Skin against skin.
‘Nothing important. Work, that kind of stuff.’ He didn’t want to go there. Not with Bonnie. He didn’t want to have any of those kinds of conversations with Bonnie. This thing between them. He didn’t know what it was. But it seemed almost unreal. Not really acknowledged. Not really known by anyone but them.
She hesitated but didn’t move her hand. She left it there in contact with his skin.
‘I need some advice. I saw some other possible rentals today and one small flat that I could afford to buy. You need to tell me about the areas.’
The squeeze inside was so unexpected it made him jolt. He should be jumping for joy. But he strangely wasn’t.
Sitting in the flickering firelight with Bonnie, watching the orange light glint off her auburn hair and light up her pale skin, giving her advice to leave seemed ridiculous.
It was just the two of them right now. In the glimmering light her bright blue eyes reflected off his. He was close enough to see the tiny freckles across the bridge of her nose.
But he wanted to be closer.
He licked his dry lips and watched as she mirrored his actions. This woman was going to drive him crazy.
‘Where?’ His voice was so low it was barely audible.
‘One rental in Olderfield, one in Rancor and the flat is in Calderwood.’ She named the prices for each.
He shook his head. ‘Olderfield is not an area you want to stay in.’ It was almost a relief to say those words. ‘The price of the rental in Rancor is nearly three hundred pounds a month above any other. It sounds like a bit of a con. As for Calderwood—it’s nice. It’s fine. But it’s the other side of the city. You’d need to change Freya’s school again. Do you really want to do that?’
Everything he was saying was safe and rational. It was sensible.
But that wasn’t how he was feeling right now.
He’d inched closer. And so had she.
It was almost as if an invisible force were drawing them together. Pushing them together. He could feel her warm breath dancing across his skin. The scent she’d put on after showering was pervading its way around him, wrapping round like a tentacle and reeling him in.
He had absolutely no wish or desire to resist it. None at all.
He was trying to read what was in her eyes. He was sure he could see passion burning there. She hadn’t moved; she hadn’t flinched. She just unobtrusively moved even closer, slotting under his arm as though she were meant to be there.
And for the first time it felt as if someone was meant to be there.
The flickering fire didn’t just bathe the room and her skin in warm light. It made him feel different inside. It made him feel that the thing that was missing from this home might finally be there.
There was no time for talk.
He moved forwards, his lips against hers.
It was the lightest of touches. The merest hint of what was to come.
She let out a little sigh and her hand moved up to his shoulder, as if she was going to pull him closer.
The tiny voice came out of nowhere, cutting through the building heat in the room.
‘Mummy?’
They sprang apart. Both of them realising what had almost happened. Bonnie was on her feet in an instant and out of the door, running up the stairs to the little voice at the top of them.
Jacob was left in the room. His breathing ragged and his soul twisting like the ugly black mark on the wall. Was he mad?
What had he nearly done? She was a colleague. For a few minutes he’d completely forgotten about the little girl upstairs.
What could have happened next?
He stood up and flicked on the light, flooding the room with a bright white glare and dousing the flames in an instant.
It was time to pretend this had never happened.
CHAPTER SIX
‘WOW, WHAT’S GOING on with Jacob Layton?’ Kerry came through the theatre doors and walked to the sink, scrubbing her hands post-surgery.
Bonnie glanced over her shoulder as Isabel walked out of the theatre doors too, ripping off her gloves and gown and joining Kerry at the sink. ‘I know.’ The two of them exchanged glances and smiled at each other. ‘I wonder what’s changed his mood.’
Isabel’s eyes met Bonnie’s and an uncomfortable shiver went down her spine. ‘What are you talking about?’ she asked.
Kerry rolled her eyes. ‘I dropped an instrument tray in Theatre. Usually, Jacob would have gone nuts and I’d have been flung out of Theatre.’
‘Really?’ Bonnie frowned. She’d heard of surgeons being extreme in Theatre. But she’d never experienced it herself. She certainly didn’t like the thought of one of the obstetricians she worked with behaving like that. She wouldn’t stand for it.
But Isabel and Kerry were still smiling at her as they finished drying their hands. ‘What’s that Scottish word you use to describe people who are grumpy or miserable?’
Bonnie was a bit unsure where this was going. ‘Crabbit.’ She used it quite a lot, along with a whole host of other Scottish words that were second nature to her, but seemed to leave the staff baffled.
Isabel and Kerry exchanged smiles again. Isabel deposited her paper towels in the bin. ‘It’s a good word. A very descriptive word.’ She turned to her colleague. ‘Kerry, would you say that Jacob’s been crabbit lately?’
Kerry crossed the room. ‘Nope. I’d say Jacob’s had a whole new personality transplant. He didn’t shout at all today. He just looked up and asked me to get him a new set of instruments. The whole Theatre was shocked.’
Bonnie frowned. ‘Jacob normally behaved like that in Theatre?’
Isabel laughed. ‘Not just Theatre. Labour suite, wards, clinics, the neonatal unit.’ She held up her hand. ‘Don’t get me wrong, he would always switch on the charm for the patients, but for the staff?’ She shook her head. ‘Oh, no.’
Kerry put her hands on her hips. ‘And both of you ladies haven’t been here that long. A few years ago, Jacob was always Doctor Charming. But then just over a year ago he changed—practically overnight. He’s been like a bear with a sore head ever since. Or he had been...’ she turned to face Bonnie ‘...until a few weeks ago.’
Bonnie shifted uncomfortably on her feet. Two pairs of eyes were staring at her, smiling. ‘I have no idea what you mean.’
Isabel walked past and tapped her on the shoulder. ‘I don’t know what it is you’re doing. But all I can say is—keep doing it.’
Kerry nodded in agreement as the doors swung open again. It was Sean, the new obstetrician who’d arrived from Melbourne just a few weeks before Bonnie. ‘Hi, ladies, sorry to interrupt. Isabel, can we talk?’
Something flickered across Isabel’s face. It was the strangest look Bonnie had seen in a while. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Something between complete avoidance and dread. It seemed that Jess Black had been right.
Isabel was super friendly and completely confident about the work she did. This was the first time that Bonnie had seen her look neither.
‘It will only take a few minutes, Isabel.’ Sean looked tired, but it seemed he wasn’t going to be put off.
Her eyes flitted over to Bonnie. ‘Didn’t you want me to see a patient on the labour suite?’
‘Eh...yes.’ Bonnie knew avoidance tactics when she saw them. And there was no way she wasn’t going to help out a colleague. Particularly when this might take the heat off her.
In a way it was good that people thought Jacob was more amenable. The question was—what had been wrong with him before? She had no idea. She and her daughter were living with a guy they hardly knew. She’d almost kissed him the other night! If Freya hadn’t shouted...
She was crazy. She was plainly crazy. Jacob was her boss. Her brand-new boss. The last thing she should be doing on this planet was kissing the boss—no matter how much she’d wanted to.
She bit her lip. She was new here. She hadn’t even had time to find her feet yet. Her new job was a big responsibility. That was where she should be focusing her attention.
She had Freya to think about. Her little girl had already been exposed to one disastrous relationship—there was no way she wanted to expose her to another. It was too soon. Far too soon.
It was time to focus on work—and only work. She wouldn’t allow thoughts of Jacob to distract her from her job.
Sean disappeared back out of the doors, sighing loudly. Isabel’s eyes flickered towards Bonnie. ‘Thanks,’ she said before putting her head down and disappearing out of another door.
Kerry folded her arms across her chest. ‘This place just gets more interesting by the second.’
Bonnie gave a little smile and shake of her head as she headed to the door. ‘Kerry, you have no idea.’
* * *
Jacob was feeling strangely nervous. One of the other obstetricians had been off sick for a few days and he’d covered their on-call rota. It meant that he and Bonnie hadn’t really been alone together for the last few days.
The front room was back to normal. The walls freshly painted and bright white again. Except, the room wasn’t back to normal. The room had changed. And the mood of the house had changed with it.
The temperature seemed to have dropped permanently in the last few days. It meant that every time he walked through the front door of his house, his feet turned automatically to the fireplace in the front room.
Bonnie was right. There was something about a fireplace. He was drawn to it like the proverbial moth to a flame. Last night he’d even contemplated buying a rug to put in front of it. He’d never really thought about soft furnishings before. He wasn’t that kind of guy. He was all about the basics. The functional stuff.
Except that last night he’d spent an hour on the Internet wondering what colour rug to buy.
Now his fingers hovered over something else. Freya had been really excited the other night when she’d seen the advert for the latest kids’ Christmas film. It had been years since Jacob had gone to the movies. He’d still been in his early twenties.
He glanced at the film times before clicking to buy tickets. It was Tuesday night. Freya and Bonnie didn’t do anything on a Tuesday. Monday was dancing, Wednesday was Rainbow Brownies. He couldn’t believe that after a few weeks he actually knew this kind of stuff. It was all so alien to him.
Once he’d bought the tickets he looked for a restaurant. For the first time in his life, Jacob Layton picked up the phone to ask if his favourite place to eat had a children’s menu. It had never crossed his mind before.
It was odd. This wasn’t a date. This wasn’t anything like that.
He just wanted to have some time away from the hospital, away from the house, and to spend a little time with Bonnie and Freya.
He was planning. He was being rational. But little voices in his brain were screaming at him. He didn’t do this kind of stuff. Well, of course, he’d taken a woman to dinner before. The truth was he’d done that on lots of occasions. But incorporating a child into his plans? This was a whole new concept for him.
Bonnie appeared at the door. ‘Jacob? Outpatients just phoned. Lisa Brennan, a thirty-three-year-old diabetic who is in for her twenty-week scan. They’re having a few problems and wondered if you could go down. The sonographer is new and thinks there may be an anomaly but isn’t quite sure.’
He stood up straight away. ‘No problem. I’ll go now.’ He paused in the doorway. ‘I thought maybe we could do something tonight?’
A look of mild panic flickered across Bonnie’s face and his stomach dropped. ‘I mean, you, me and Freya. I was thinking about that new film she wanted to see. What do you think?’
He was babbling now. Doing the thing that he found so endearing in Bonnie. Why had she looked panicked? Did she really want to say no? Maybe he was reading things all wrong.
Her lips pressed together and after a few seconds the edges turned upwards. ‘Freya would love that. It’s a great idea.’
He brushed past her. ‘Good. I’ll book tickets and maybe we could grab some dinner first?’
He kept walking down the corridor as she gave the slightest nod of her head. He didn’t want to tell her he’d already booked the tickets and the restaurant. That would seem presumptuous.
It was the oddest feeling. Jacob hadn’t felt this nervous asking a girl out since he was a teenager. For a second, he’d thought she might actually say no.
As he turned the corner at the bottom of the corridor Bonnie was still standing at the office door with a smile on her face.
For a second he felt sixteen again. It was all he could do not to punch the air.
* * *
Bonnie was nervous—and that was ridiculous. She looked at the clothes laid out on her bed. Nothing seemed to suit.
‘Wear the Christmas jumper, Mummy!’ said Freya as she bounced in the room. ‘We can match.’
Bonnie blinked. Freya hadn’t been wearing that jumper a few minutes ago. She was going through a stage of changing her clothes constantly—and putting everything she’d worn for ten minutes in the washing basket.
She smiled. ‘Well, I suppose it is officially December now.’ She pulled the black jumper, adorned with a bright green Christmas tree and glittering red sequins for the Christmas baubles, over her head. As soon as she pulled it on she felt more comfortable.
That was what was wrong. She was fretting over what to wear as if this were actually a date. And it wasn’t. But it had felt like that when Jacob had asked her. It had given her that warm, tingly feeling that spread throughout her body and stayed there all day.
Ridiculous. This was Jacob being polite and taking out his house guests. And if there hadn’t been that soft, sizzling kiss a few nights ago that might have been a rational thought. It might have been brief but she couldn’t get the feel of Jacob’s lips out of her mind.
‘Come on, Mummy.’ Bonnie pulled on her favourite jeans and stuck her feet into her boots. She’d put make-up on this morning and had no wish to do it again, so just reapplied some lipstick. There. Ready.
Jacob was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs as they walked down. The look of appreciation and smile he gave her made the little fire inside light up again.
‘I can’t wait to see this film,’ chattered Freya. ‘Three people at school have seen it already and they said it’s brilliant. The princess dances on ice and the prince lives underneath the water.’
‘Are you sure you’re up for this?’ Bonnie asked.
But he smiled. ‘Oh, I’m sure. I’m sure in the next few days every adult will have seen this film too and it’s all we’ll hear about.’ He opened the front door. ‘I booked Paulette’s Italian. Are you okay with that? I thought it would suit Freya since spaghetti bolognaise is her favourite food.’
She’d expected to go to the nearest fast-food restaurant. Jacob Layton was proving to be more than a little surprising.
It only took ten minutes to reach the cinema complex and the nearby restaurant. Dinner was almost a disaster. Freya was too excited to eat and ended up wearing most of her spaghetti rather than eating it. But the food was good and the company even better.
Jacob was careful not to talk shop in front of Freya—or ask Bonnie any difficult questions about being back in Scotland. He asked Freya about school and her friends, and Bonnie about her favourite things and how she was settling in.
She took a sip of her glass of wine. ‘I love CRMU. The staff are really friendly. A few of them have invited me out—Isabel, Hope and Jessica. But it’s difficult. If we were still at home I could ask my mum and dad to babysit. Going out in the evenings in Cambridge isn’t really an option for me.’
Jacob hesitated. His fork poised just before his mouth. ‘I could do it.’
She almost choked. ‘What? No, I couldn’t ask you to do that.’
‘I mean, as long as I wasn’t on call or anything. I mean, once Freya’s had dinner and done her homework, there’s really no problem. We could watch a film together and then it would be time for bed.’
Bonnie shook her head, glancing sideways at Freya, who seemed to have missed the conversation. ‘That’s so kind of you to offer. But no, Jacob, I wouldn’t do that to you.’ She paused for a second. ‘I could always ask Lynn, the childminder. I’m sure she would say it was okay.’ She put her hand around Freya’s shoulder. ‘But I’m just not ready to do that yet. We’ve had a lot of change in a short period of time. I’d like her to feel really settled before I start thinking about going out.’
Jacob nodded thoughtfully then shrugged. ‘Okay. But the offer is there if you need it.’
‘Is it time for the film yet?’ cut in Freya, smiling, with her bolognaise-smeared face.
Bonnie glanced at her watch as she wiped Freya’s face with a napkin. ‘I think it is. Are you ready to go?’
Freya bounced out of her seat. ‘I’m ready. Let’s go and see the princess.’
Jacob paid their bill and helped Freya on with her jacket before they walked the short distance to the cinema. It was already busy, with numerous excitable children all waiting to see the film. The noise level was incredible.
Jacob winced. ‘Is every kids’ show like this?’
Bonnie nodded. ‘Believe it or not, they do go quiet when the film starts.’
They collected their tickets and bought some popcorn, then filed into the cinema and found their seats. Freya changed seats three times. Sitting between them, then on one side of Bonnie, on one side of Jacob and back to the middle again. She leaned forwards as the film started.
In the darkness of the cinema something struck Bonnie. Freya had never been to the cinema with her father. Robert had always managed to find an excuse not to go on family outings with them and the cinema had rapidly become a treat for Bonnie and Freya on their own.
This was the first time she’d actually been at the cinema with a man since she’d been born. Regret twisted inside Bonnie. She should have chosen better. Robert had never lived up to the role of a father, and now here was Jacob, a single man with no experience of kids, bending over backwards to be accommodating towards them.
She wasn’t sure what all this meant, but it was so nice to feel considered. She appreciated it more than she could ever say.
She reached over in the darkness, across the space where Freya leaned forwards, and slid her hand into Jacob’s. He turned towards her, surprise on his face.
‘Thank you for doing this,’ she whispered.
He smiled and gave her hand a squeeze, circling his thumb in her palm.
He kept it that way for the whole ninety-minute film. And she let him.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE HOUSE WAS looking truly magical. Freya was watching from the window, the excitement almost too much for her.
Today had been a quiet day. It was odd. It was a few days into December already and there were still no decorations in the house. Bonnie had always been the type to put her decorations up on the first of the month. Any later made her antsy.
Yesterday, a few tree decorations had arrived that she’d ordered online. Along with a personalised stocking for Freya and some Christmas candles.
This morning she’d had a look in some of the cupboards around the house, expecting to find a few cardboard boxes of decorations that she and Freya could put up. But there was nothing. Not even a single strand of tinsel.