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‘Fluffy pictures?’ she repeated. ‘Are there cute, fluffy animals around that I haven’t seen yet?’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘Zacchaeus,’ she said, and took his hand as they walked down to the castle’s gardens where they would be taking the so-called fluffy pictures.
As soon as she realised what she’d done, she snatched her hand back—how had that felt so natural?—and gestured for the photographer to continue. She waited until the two of them were alone. ‘I know you don’t like this, but we have to make it believable.’
‘I thought I was doing a pretty good job.’
‘You were. But the pictures we just took were official ones, in the confines of the castle. Now we’re out here—’ she lifted her arms ‘—in the gorgeous garden of the castle, with the gorgeous trees and colours around us. You have to make more of an effort.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘Are you always this...optimistic?’
Her lips twitched at the disgust in his tone. ‘The quickest answer to that is yes.’
‘Even though they’re taking fake photographs to celebrate our fake engagement?’
‘It may not be the traditional way people choose to marry, but it isn’t fake.’ Nalini fought to keep her voice light, though he was dampening her enjoyment. ‘In fact, this is probably as real as it’s ever going to be for us.’
‘That doesn’t sound optimistic.’
‘Sometimes realism slips in before I get to shine it with positivity.’ But she sighed, and felt her mood turn to match his. ‘Look, the simplest way for us to get through this is to make it look genuine. No one would question our commitment if they look at the pictures and any onlookers will feel as though they’ve seen something worth looking at.’
She paused when they reached the path, and decided to tell him what she really thought. ‘That means you probably shouldn’t touch me like I’m some wounded animal you’d like to save but are disgusted by because you found it on the street.’
His lips curved. ‘That’s quite the vivid image.’
‘Yes, well.’ She sniffed. ‘I’ve always had a talent with words.’
‘So I’m beginning to see.’ He stared at her for a beat longer than she was comfortable with, and then nodded. ‘Fine. I’ll stop complaining.’ He pulled at the neck of the uniform he looked so dashing in with the words, ‘And I’ll pretend to be in love with you. Or, at the bare minimum, in lust.’
‘You just have to look as though you’re interested in me,’ she said quickly, not wanting to dwell on the way her heart skipped at the thought of either of those options. ‘So stop frowning, for heaven’s sake, and focus on the fact that it is a beautiful day. And that your kingdom will probably respond positively to your efforts.’
She hurried after the photographer then, afraid his teasing would turn into something else. She wasn’t worried that that something else would be physical. She had no interest in exploring that, no matter how attractive she found him. Or how he felt about her, she thought, remembering the heat in his eyes when he’d seen her in the blush knee-length dress she’d chosen for the engagement photos.
No, she was more worried about how he got her to reveal things about herself that she didn’t want anyone to know. Like the fact that she’d never told anyone that she felt like a problem child. Not even Xavier or Alika. Though she was sure that if she told them they wouldn’t be surprised.
They all knew about that day—as her mother liked to call it—which had really been the only time in Nalini’s life that she’d outright disobeyed her parents. But the consequences had been so far-reaching that it had tainted the years since. For her family and herself.
It was the reason she was on Kirtida, marrying a man she didn’t know for the sake of her kingdom. It was the reason she was trying so damn hard to make things work between them. She wanted to prove to herself—to her family—that it hadn’t been a mistake. That her hopes of changing their perspective of her, of her actions, would pan out. That she wasn’t just giving them another reason to think that she was reckless.
Not for the first time, Nalini thought of how much easier her life would have been if she’d been more like Alika. Willing to accept and obey. But she also knew that easy meant different things to different people. Yes, it meant less conflict and more safety. She knew because she had been more like Alika since that day. But it had also kept her living in a little box, so confined, so afraid that she’d felt as if the real her—the excited, happy her—had been whittled away slowly until she was only that way with her siblings.
And not because she wanted to be. Because she thought they needed it.
Even though it hadn’t been there before that afternoon, Nalini twisted the engagement ring on her finger as though the nervous habit had accompanied her all her life. She’d been surprised when Zacchaeus had offered it to her, but he’d done it so unceremoniously that she hadn’t had the chance to feel emotional about it.
Not that she would have felt emotional, she told herself. She didn’t expect love or romance any more—wishing for such things was foolish. She’d learnt her lesson with Josh, hadn’t she? Besides, she only had to look at her siblings to confirm it. Sure, Xavier’s life was a lot happier now that he’d found love with his one-time best friend, but he’d gone through plenty of heartache before he’d got there.
No, Nalini wasn’t interested in love or romance any more. What she was interested in was making sure her family knew that she’d changed. She also wanted autonomy in her life, and love wasn’t going to give her that. An arranged marriage, on the other hand...
She stopped when she found the photographer, and watched as he squinted against the late afternoon sun. The man had insisted that they take the outdoor photos then, though now Nalini wasn’t entirely sure he was confident in that decision. He cursed as he worked, taking practice shots of the stream that led down to a large pond.
‘Is it just me, or does it feel like we’re interrupting something?’ Zacchaeus’s voice sounded in her ear just as it had the day before, on the boat. Now, though, Nalini didn’t have the sea breeze to blame for the shiver that went up her spine.
But you’re not interested in acting on it, a voice in her head told her in a mocking tone that she didn’t appreciate.
‘Artists,’ she replied. ‘Temperamental creatures.’
‘That’s a broad statement.’
‘And not one I thought you’d call me on,’ she said with a smile. ‘I don’t think all artists are temperamental. I do think this one is, which is why we’d better get into that frame before it’s night and we have to do this again tomorrow.’
‘You’re right,’ Zacchaeus said and took her hand, dragging her to the stream. ‘Are we okay here, Stefan?’
‘Yes, sir, that’s perfect,’ Stefan answered, but took at least a dozen more shots before getting to them. ‘Could you please move closer together?’
‘I told you,’ Nalini murmured and took a step forward to close the distance between her and Zacchaeus. Her heart immediately thumped louder, harder, in her chest and she stopped before she touched him.
‘Why does it feel like you’re the one treating me like a disgusting wounded animal now?’ he asked, and placed a hand at the bottom of her spine. With little effort he pressed her against him, and her heart rocketed—out of her chest and, she was pretty sure, out of her body.
It hadn’t been like this before. Their official photos had been close, yes, but there she’d been at his side. There she’d held his hand, which wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it would be. But being face to face like this, their bodies aligned...
It made that attraction a lot harder to ignore. Especially since her mind chose to pay attention to the hard muscles of his body right at that moment.
‘Your Royal Highness, could you move closer?’ Stefan called from behind his camera.
‘Yes, Your Royal Highness,’ Zacchaeus teased. ‘Move closer.’
‘I think I’m close enough,’ she answered, but pressed her body a fraction closer to his.
‘Now smile,’ Stefan called again, and now Nalini felt as though the entire thing was ridiculous.
But she had to acknowledge that it was only ridiculous because she had to focus on making sure Zacchaeus didn’t think he was making her nervous while remembering to smile and to relax her body.
‘Turn your heads to face one another,’ Stefan asked after a few minutes, and Nalini held her breath as she turned back to face Zacchaeus. Without prompting, Zacchaeus slid his arms around her waist. Her breath caught, and Nalini wondered—illogically, she knew—what it would feel like if the action hadn’t been forced for the sake of the photos.
If it had been more...intimate.
The thought sent a wave of heat to her face and she ducked her head, hoping that Zacchaeus wouldn’t notice it. He banished that hope by moving his mouth to her ear and whispering, ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘You’re lying.’
‘I’m not,’ she said, her voice sharper than she intended.
‘Nalini.’
The tone of his voice had her looking up again.
And the moment she did she realised she’d made a mistake.
She hadn’t noticed before that his eyes held specks of light around the irises. It made his face less intimidating, she thought, and wanted to reach up to smooth the creases between his eyebrows to make it even less so.
‘That’s perfect!’ Stefan shouted, shocking her hands into immobility. ‘Now kiss!’
Her entire body froze as Zacchaeus’s eyes instantly changed from amused to something darker. To something more intense. Electricity crackled from them, hitting her with a voltage that woke all her nerves. It startled her, the intense response of her body to his.
And suddenly she became aware of how taut his muscles had become, how hers had responded. If she kissed him, if she just touched her lips to his, maybe that tension would ease...
Before Nalini fully knew what had happened, pain stunned the breath from her as she found herself on her butt. The bottom half of her body was completely wet from the water of the stream she now sat in. It took a moment for her brain to realise what had happened, but she didn’t fully have the time to contemplate it before she heard a splash of water.
‘Nalini, are you okay?’ Zacchaeus asked, crouching beside her.
‘I’m fine.’ She was pretty sure that she was, at least. ‘You shouldn’t be in here though. You’ll spoil your uniform.’
‘It’ll survive,’ he said wryly and offered her a hand. ‘Will you accept my help or are you going to ignore it to avoid touching me?’
‘Don’t be silly,’ she answered, though she hesitated before she took his hand. When she was standing, she looked down at her dress, no longer falling in an A-line around her hips but flattened to her sides. ‘I’ve spoilt this dress.’ She looked up at him. ‘You shouldn’t have come in and spoilt your uniform too.’
‘The uniform doesn’t matter, Nalini. Neither does your dress. But you do.’ His eyes searched her face. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘Of course I am,’ she replied, straightening her spine. Trying to maintain what little dignity she had left. ‘Besides my pride, I’m perfectly fine.’
‘I have to agree on that one.’
‘You do? Why?’
‘My pride’s tingling a bit too. After all, you did just fall into a stream to get away from me.’
‘That’s not what happened,’ she retorted, and then frowned. Was that really the reason she’d fallen into the stream? To get away from Zacchaeus? Now that the fogginess of the stun had cleared, she could remember taking a step back, away from him—no, she corrected. Away from kissing him. She hadn’t meant to make it obvious. She’d just wanted space to think, and to get away from the way her body felt when she touched him.
To get away from how her body had reacted to the prospect of kissing him.
Of course her attempt at subtlety had landed her on her butt in a stream.
At that moment her eyes took in their spectators, clamouring against the fence surrounding the garden, their faces a mixture of surprise and concern. The faces of those she could see, that was, considering the number of phones she saw capturing everything that was happening.
Stefan had a horrified expression on his face, although she had noted while Zacchaeus had been helping her that he’d still been taking photos. And then there was Zacchaeus’s face, wrought with concern and annoyance.
All of it should have embarrassed Nalini. And, she supposed, she would feel that way later, when she’d had time to process it all. But right then the only logical response she could manage started low in her belly, bubbling up her throat until she couldn’t control the giggles any more.
‘How are you laughing at this?’ Zacchaeus asked, his eyes wide.
‘Because...’ She told herself to stop laughing, to answer him, but the more she tried, the more she kept laughing. ‘It’s just...so...ridiculous!’ she managed between fits of laughter. ‘I’m sorry, Zacchaeus,’ she said, wiping a tear from her eyes. ‘I know this must seem like a terribly inappropriate response, but I landed on my butt trying to get away—’
She broke off at the deep sound that came from the man in front of her. He was laughing. Time ticked by, and still he laughed. The shock of seeing Zacchaeus laugh lasted only a few more seconds before she found herself joining him. She wasn’t sure how long they laughed together—she didn’t even care that there were witnesses to their momentary insanity. And when the laughter faded there was a sparkle in his eyes that had never been there before.
It made those light flecks in his eyes that she’d only just noticed even more visible. Again, she wondered how she’d missed it, and felt unsettled, like a speck of dust that had been blown away.
‘It’s no wonder you don’t laugh very often,’ she murmured softly. ‘You’d have the entire female population falling at your feet.’
CHAPTER FIVE
ZACCHAEUS TILTED HIS HEAD, acknowledging—but refusing to dwell on—the warmth that went through his body at her words. ‘Is that so?’
Though her cheeks pinked, she nodded. ‘I think so.’
‘Because my laughter is so charming?’
‘Because it makes you look...like a man,’ she said. ‘Not like a king.’
Caught by the picture she was painting, even though he knew it would only start trouble, he asked, ‘Does no one notice the man when he’s a king?’
‘No,’ she said softly, her eyes following the hand he didn’t seem able to control as it swept a piece of her hair from her face. ‘People look at the deeds of a king. That’s how they notice his heart.’
‘Which means people think I have no heart,’ he said before he could stop himself.
He paused and gave himself a moment to stuff the emotions he was feeling back into the box he’d created in his mind especially for them. It was harder than it generally was, and he ignored the inner voice telling him it was because of the woman in front of him.
No, he told himself. His feelings were just becoming harder to cope with because there had been so many of them over the last months. Feelings about his mother’s affair, about her leaving. About the demands she and her lover in Macoa were making of Kirtida. About his father’s illness, and the fact that he’d forced Zacchaeus to pretend to overthrow him...
There had been no time to deal with them—no time to even think of them. But a part of him warned that he would have to face them at some stage. And that if that time didn’t come soon, they might just bubble over, forcing him to deal with them.
Though it left a sick feeling in his stomach, it helped him remember he couldn’t think of himself as a man—however tempting it was, he thought, looking at the woman who drew him in unlike any other. He was a king. Which was why he had to ignore the betrayal, the sadness, the hurt swirling around inside him because of his parents.
Which was why he had to refuse the attraction he felt towards the woman in front of him. He had to focus on his kingdom. He had no other choice because he was King.
And a king shouldn’t be standing in a stream with his fiancée, laughing at something that could be misconstrued.
‘We should probably get out of here,’ he said, keeping his voice devoid of emotion. And keeping his heart devoid of it too, when it wanted to react to the way her face fell.
‘You’re right,’ she said after a few moments and aimed unsettlingly cool eyes at Stefan. ‘Can you make do with what you have, Stefan? I’d prefer not to repeat this process.’
It was a jab at him, he thought. And it hit its mark.
‘Yes, ma’am.’ Stefan rushed forward now and helped Nalini out of the stream. ‘I will edit these pictures immediately and have them sent to the castle for approval.’
‘Thank you,’ Nalini answered as she stepped onto the grass. Water ran down her legs—long and shapely in the heels she wore—and Zacchaeus had to force his eyes away from them to look for someone who could assist them.
He strode to the nearest staff member he saw and requested that towels be brought to them as soon as possible. When he returned to Nalini and Stefan, Nalini was thanking the photographer again in a voice significantly warmer than the one he’d heard her use before he’d left.
‘I’m sure the pictures will come out beautifully,’ she said before turning to him. Her eyes went cool again, and something chilled inside him as well.
He told himself that it had nothing to do with the fact that she was filled with light and happiness. That her laughing at something that she could have found embarrassing had been so authentic that he thought it was the first time he’d seen a glimpse of the real Nalini.
Which had him wondering why she thought that she needed to hide the real her.
He shook his head, grateful for the distraction of being brought the towels he’d asked for. He took them and handed one to Nalini.
‘You should dry off.’
‘I’d prefer to have a shower,’ she answered, but took the towel and rubbed it over her legs. She slipped out of her heels and dried her feet and, though he was tempted to keep watching her—what was it about her legs that was so captivating?—it reminded him that his feet were wet too.
Like her, he wanted a shower. And dry clothes and shoes. Since he’d angled his body so that she would have some privacy from the onlookers, he couldn’t dry himself off as she was doing. Yet he was hesitant to leave.
That burst of light he’d seen from her had been so refreshing—and so completely different from the perpetual darkness he’d felt shroud him since the night of the State Banquet. Since before then, he knew, thinking about his mother.
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