Classics fantasy – 3

(cycle of stories)

The created legends and apocryphal stories

I. THE PERSON WHO DOES NOT SLEEP

Ivan Stepanovich Wagner, professor of the 1st Moscow university of department of biology, is known to the scientific colleagues as exclusively versatile mind, the talented inventor and the courageous experimenter long ago. Wagner became known to wide public only five years ago when he had to act as the defendant on so-called «dog matter» in national court.

I kept newspapers of that time. Here is how in one of them the correspondent who was present at court describes appearance of professor Wagner:

«In his nutbrown hair, a broad fair-haired beard and the hung moustaches it was possible to notice only a few silvery hairs. Fresh complexion, rosy cheeks and shining eyes spoke about health. It could not give more than forty years».

And at this time to professor Wagner was for fifty.

He was accused of kidnapping of dogs for production of scientific experiences. In court very interesting circumstances became clear. It appears, professor Wagner invented means for fatigue, and also means against a dream; the dream, according to professor, represents a disease.

Wagner delivered to himself a task to capture bigger amount of knowledge, than that which can contain a human brain. And professor achieved it that, without needing rest and a dream, he could work nearly twenty four hours a day. Besides, by a training it developed ability to think both halves of a brain independently one from another. His eyes moved also independently one from another, and Wagner could watch, thus, several phenomena at once. He could write with at the same time right and left hand…

All this and many other things became clear on «dog process», and the name of professor Wagner became known to the public reading newspapers at once. It and was called: «The person who does not sleep».

I was one of those which became interested in professor Wagner. I very much wanted to get acquainted with it. The case came to the rescue of me. I got acquainted with Wagner in the Crimea, in Simeiz, we had with it some of the most interesting conversations.

Then Wagner disappeared somewhere. In general it quite often changes residences that does not prevent it to give lectures at the Moscow university. For this purpose it uses a broadcast. And only for a practical training it is to Moscow for a month or on two. All his pupils succeed, and the university administration does not object to such correspondence method of training.

So, it disappeared though its voice was punctually heard in audience. Rumors about its extraordinary experiences and inventions continued to be handed down. I carefully wrote down these stories. Some of them seemed to me so improbable that I put in the notebook on fields a question mark to check truthfulness of the story when I meet Wagner or I learn his address. Said that he in Leningrad is engaged in some radio experiences that is going to Novaya Zemlya, but he told the address to nobody. And only recently he unexpectedly reminded of himself. On the korotkovolnovik one night I accepted from it the radiotelegram. He sent me hi and reported the address.

I immediately rewrote all stories about its inventions which I had to hear, and sent it, asking to tell me that in them the truth and that a lie. His answer convinced me that my fears were not vain. Alas, more than a half of my documents on professor Wagner were apocryphal stories. The created legends arose on my eyes. Among these legends there were not only stories about inventions

Wagner, but also curious episodes from his life. For an illustration I will give some of these invented stories before passing to original incidents. I tried to transfer the speech of story-tellers in all records literally.

II. THE CASE WITH THE HORSE

On annual races on May 21, 1926 in Ipson [79] the general attention was drawn by a draw of the first prize in five thousand pounds sterling. Two applicants for superiority were distinguished from three-year-olds of beautiful English racers: light-golden Lorelya and red handsome Viking. The majority of rates was put on these two horses who already showed the extraordinary qualities on training run. But Viking, by universal recognition, had more chances of a prize.

Jumps began. Did not pass also minutes as Lorelya and the Viking moved forward out of operation on the head, and in several seconds the Viking was ahead of the rivals already by one and a half cases.

– Bravo, Viking! – the frenzied crowd shouted. The victory, appear, was behind it. But here on turn there was an event which probably for a long time will remain in memory of those who were present at this derby.

The Viking as if went mad. It did not curtail on turn, and rushed directly on a fence, расшибся and fell. The horses who flew behind nearly crushed the poor Viking together with his jockey. Having got rid of one danger, they got to another. The part of crowd putting on the Viking got savage. Respectable gentlemen, risking to get under hoofs of horses, jumped off from stands on a race path with obvious intention to tear to pieces the traitor jockey. They did not doubt that the jockey was bribed by the owner Lorelya, the large merchant, the silk wholesaler. Fortunately, the skilled jockey did not suffer when falling. He considered the moment and ran from the crowd pursuing it with such speed as if he wanted to take part in jumps instead of the Viking who left an operation.

The rage and indignation of losers on the Viking were so strong that many from run together to the scene pushed the Viking in a stomach with a leg. It was an ugly show. The crowd dammed all racetrack. It fell on time to stop jumps. Stands reminded the volcano crater filled with the boiling lava. And this lava of human passions was not less terrible, than magma.

When the first nervousness settled, immediately started the investigation. To the aid of the jockey the group of policemen who saved it from crowd mob killings appeared in time in time. The jockey, of course, swore and swore that he is not guilty in anything and itself does not know that with the Viking; ordinary the horse obeyed the slightest movement of a hand. The crowd did not trust words of the jockey, but as nobody could prove him to guilt, the investigation was temporary is directed to other party. The Viking was lifted up and carefully examined. His breast was seriously injured, a part of skin and meat is broken, but it were fresh wounds from blow about a fence. Eyes and legs of a horse were as though are not damaged. She looked normally. The Viking was lashed a switch and looked how it will go. Being unsteady, the Viking moved forward. Before it there was a column. The Viking as the blind person, went on a column, without turning. And, having only hit a breast, stopped.

– He went blind! – voices were heard. One gentleman approached and waved before the Viking’s eyes a hat. The Viking involuntarily hitched up the head.

– Sees!

– He went mad! – someone shouted.

– Unless the horse can go mad? – objected it. – They rage, but it happens absolutely differently.

The Viking was taken away from a column, by stegnul, and it went again. Surprising business! It went only in a straight line, without turning neither to the right, nor on the left. Eventually it reached a deadlock between two booths and stood there as if he, burning down from shame, wanted to leave all, to see nobody. Skilled grooms defined at once that the Viking without assistance cannot break an impasse into which he came only because the deadlock lay on the way of its rectilinear wandering.

Now anybody did not have doubt that the Viking is sick with a strange disease of straightforwardness. It did not dismiss charge from the jockey, but nevertheless broke confidence that a disease of a horse – his hands business a little. Jockeys too become attached to horses, and it was difficult to assume that the jockey could go to such crime. Strangers could spoil a horse. But how the jockey overlooked?

The crowd rushed to the jockey again:

– The Viking was ill something?

– Was ill – the jockey answered. – The groom said to me what the Viking on the eve of races badly ate and badly drank. Mr. Dzhibbs, the owner Vikinga, even wanted to refuse participation in jumps, but Mr. Thompson, the veterinarian, told that it is trifles and that by the morning everything will pass. He promised to watch the Viking. And it is valid, Mr. Thompson stayed in Vikinga’s stable all night long…

Continuation of the investigation was after races. And any more not crowd, but the investigator interrogated Mr. Thompson. The veterinarian assured that, except an easy indisposition which occurred because of the groom who broke the feeding mode the Viking was not sick with anything. And now he, Thompson, finds it difficult to define a disease of the Viking though has to note that the Viking is really sick: it can go only on a straight line.

The best forces of medicine and veterinary science were attracted to the diagnosis of a disease of the Viking, but nobody could understand anything. The beautiful horse was spoiled. But whom, when and how? The Viking set the scientist an unsoluble riddle.

Here on the stage professor Wagner who was in a scientific business trip in Oxford at this time also acted. Having read in newspapers that nobody can understand a disease of the Viking, Wagner wrote the letter to the editorial office:

«The Viking is not more expensive than the red skin now. Kill the Viking, open to him a skull, and you learn what his disease consisted in».

It was told so resolutely as if Wagner already looked that he becomes in the head of the sick Viking. And Wagner even on jumps was not.

The owner Vikinga obeyed this council and, having killed a horse, opened a skull. And what was found? Vikinga did not have part of a brain. Obviously, the veterinarian bribed by someone did this operation at night and so successfully sewed up places of section on the head of a horse that nobody noticed operation traces. Thompson denied this crime. But as a result of a careful search proofs were found, and eventually Thompson confessed. Lately he received so many the menacing letters that he in prison felt more safely, than on freedom.

After this case the name of professor Wagner became known also in England…

(It is reported to t. A. A. K.)

* * *

Ivan Stepanovich Wagner wrote on a reverse side of the last leaf of this manuscript:

«Inventions. Nothing similar with me was. In May, 1926 did not go abroad. During bilateral removal of frontal lobes of a brain such strangenesses could be found in a horse, as well as in a dog (over which I conducted experiments), really: the animal (of course, and the person) deprived of frontal lobes finds fragility of static coordination, inability to turn here and there thanks to what the dog operated thus always runs in the direct direction and, having hidden in a corner or in the close back street which is not able to leave it without assistance.

As you can see, all this is similar to a case with the Viking. But… first, I glanced over the London newspapers during this time and did not find anything similar to the case described by your acquaintance. Secondly, if this case occurred, then in London there would be many scientists who could understand the disease of the Viking which is not representing anything mysterious for anything who studies reflexology. And in England it is studied not less, than at us. Thirdly, the disease of the Viking, of course, would be found on the first turn from its stable, and the jockey would not be on jumps with such horse».

III. ABOUT FLEAS

Once there arrived professor Wagner to Paris. He was invited to himself for scientific consultation by our compatriot doctor Voronov, that which deals with a rejuvenation issue. There is Wagner across Paris from hotel to Voronov and sees on one street the house, and on the house a sign:

«Here scientific fleas give representations».

Professor Wagner decided to pay a visit to the scientific colleagues. Fleas were really remarkable. Danced a quadrille, moved pushechka, rolled each other in cardboard crews, boxed and even rode tiny velosipedika.

The owner of flea troupe, when learned that his moustached visitor – the scientist, got to talking and showed to Wagner the best numbers. In conclusion of a session the director fed all troupe on own hand and released to have a rest. After a lunch the flea likes to have a sleep.

– One is bad – the owner of flea theater said, my actors are very small growth. Now seldom at whom good sight occurs. If the audience very low bends, then their actors in a nose click, and published very few people sees. Through lenses it is inconvenient to look too: the flea moves and will leave a field of vision, will leave focus. But what strong and clever animals! They pull the weights in several honeycombs of times exceeding the weight of their body. And their jumps! The ordinary human flea has in length: 2,2 millimeters male and three-four millimeters female. Well and in millimeter height two – two and a half. And fleas can jump up on the whole meter. And forward almost on as much. It means – almost in five hundred times more the growth! What would be if the flea was growth from the person?

– Yes … – Wagner told and thought.

So, thoughtful, and to doctor Voronov came.

Voronov was delighted to dear visitor. Shows all the novelties; the young man of years of eighteen – the former old man – and the chest old woman. Perelechili her trifle, and it turned into the chest baby.

– But it nothing – Voronov says – she at me will grow up soon and will begin to speak. Here only I do not know whether it is necessary to teach it to languages anew. It the good linguist was.

Wagner listens, and so through moustaches: «Yes, yes, yes…» And then speaks:

– All this is very good. And you can make a flea in human height?

Ravens even the mouth opened.

– What for? – asks.

– For the sake of science, for experience.

– No – Voronov says – I will directly tell, I cannot.

And itself even reddened with shame.

– So I also thought. And I will make – Wagner declares. – Give me only the room yes of fleas more.

Also Wagner began to do experiences. Parisians brought fleas to it, and he fed these fleas with extracts from some glands and izhitsa vitamins.

Wagner grew up dozen growth of fleas from a black cockroach and presented to the owner of flea theater. Very much the owner thanked Wagner. All Paris went to look at exotic fleas, there was no small trouble yet: one flea cockroach hit a forehead to mister president of the republic why in his head public affairs of foremost importance were mixed. The seditious flea was killed, and chains put on the others that too highly did not jump. Wagner because of this flea from France was nearly sent. However escaped.

On a full human outgrowth Wagner let only two fleas that is one sterns less than money left. Also these two fleas began to grow before the eyes. He kept them in a cage on a chain, and fed with blood. Every day from slaughters in barrels blood was brought.

You imagine what is a flea if to increase her time in one thousand? There is no animal more terribly! Even the watchmen from a menagerie put to these fleas shivered with horror. And when fleas stretched the feelers and stings through rods of cages, at watchmen of a leg were turned in and they from the room ran away.

And there was misfortune. When length of a flea female was equal to hundred seventy seven centimeters (the male had growth a little less), and muscles and jaws became stronger than lion’s, the flea female jumped out of a cage. Tore chains, gnawed through in a night a back wooden wall and through a hole – прыг! – skipped away.

And it was just on the night of July fourteenth – a national French holiday, capture of the Bastille. This day all Paris on the street. And suddenly such incident! The flea in human height too as if destroyed the Bastille, broke off chains and прыг on the street! And on the street the people since early morning already crowd.

Wagner’s «menagerie» was located on Kyuvye Street, near a zoo. The flea in several jumps crossed all Paris. She jumped one jump through wine warehouses which take the whole quarter, the second jump jumped through Notre Dame de Paris on other side of Seine, then moved back, in two-three jumps reached the Nursing home, jumped over it, the following huge jump flew through the Eiffel Tower. Three hundred meters of height did not make any difficulty for a flea. It flew over a tower two hundred meters higher, and in air nearly faced a flock of the parading airplanes. Yeny Square and Etual Square were the following stages. Having taken seat on the Triumphal arch, she decided to have a rest.

The public with delight welcomed in the beginning emergence of winged «animal». All were sure that it is one of the most remarkable numbers of a street carnival. Perhaps, some inventor decided to give this day to the nation a surprise – the new aircraft like gelikopter with vertical rise and descent. For bigger effect the inventor gave to the device such terrible look. However, knew all Paris about Wagner’s experiences. But nobody assumed that the flea looks so terribly.

Soon, however, the delight of crowd was replaced by horror. A flea, having had a rest on the Triumphal arch, unexpectedly jumped off on the street in a thick of crowd and suddenly, having seized some having fun citizen with the shchupika, stuck a sharp proboscis into the left shoulder. The Parisian desperately cried. The crowd was captured by such horror that all stood several minutes as fossilized, and then took to the heels as if they were picked up by an outflow wave. The flea quietly exhausted grams seven hundred blood and, having taken out a proboscis, jumped on an arch. The Frenchman who turned pale from loss of blood and a fright fell. Fortunately, the flea did not exhaust all blood, and it in veins of the Frenchman was 5740 grams. Loss of two thousand grams would threaten with death. But the flea was satisfied with smaller. Perhaps, so it was easier for it to jump. And she preferred to suck blood less, but is more often.

In a few minutes she flew from an arch again, attacked some old woman and thrust it in a back a proboscis. Having tried old-womanish blood, the flea took out a sting and turned the look on the very young milliner. The flea became real the blood-sucker.

On the scene the group of police already hurried. But police officers did not manage to fire a volley as the flea jumped on an arch though already and not so easily as before.

Having jumped through group of police officers, the flea jumped on the Champs Elysée, flew through the Place de la Concorde and fell by a lawn in the garden Tuileries.

Professor Wagner already knew about incident. He hurried to make the order somewhat quicker to kill the second huge flea male. If and the male crashed out, then it would be bad. What if these fleas bred?.

The message about a terrible predator quickly flew about Paris. Streets as became extinct. Inhabitants barricaded windows, being afraid that the flea did not jump to them into the house, having broken glasses. The armed groups chased a flea, but she one jump disappeared from them. Airplanes could do nothing too. Not to lay down a bomb over the city!

And the flea very well felt in the city. Human blood was pleasant to it much more, than cow with which fed her in the conclusion. And it continued the raids.

Paris was frightened. The flea turned into some terrible Minotaur [80] demanding the human victims. But there was no hero of Tezey who would exempt the city from a fright. Candidates for Tezei were. But they did not manage to kill a flea.

Many began to say that Wagner is guilty of everything that, maybe, he even with malice aforethought grew up and let such flea to Paris. Here and Germans began to assume airs. This is not a simple flea…

And Wagner did not sleep – he never sleeps – and thought both halves of a brain, as if to correct the mistake. Very much everything left unpleasantly, and Voronov laughs.

The mayor of Paris summoned Wagner and speaks to him:

– Our patience was exhausted. I give you twenty four hours on an udavleniye of a flea. We already became awfully anemic from a flea.

– To press fleas – Wagner answers, is not my specialty and how to catch a flea, I can give advice. The flea will be caught only by the person who will be able to jump as a flea. I constructed such tools that the person could jump in a flea way. Let’s go to the Field of Mars, I will show you.

Went. Professor Wagner brought with himself a suitcase, and in a suitcase some springs and the red suit similar on a bug lie.

– These springs – Wagner says – it is necessary to screw on hands and legs, and a suit from rubber, pneumatic, is put on a body not to rasshibitsya if without habit you fall sideways or on a back. Who wants to try?

– I!. And I!. I!.

Wagner chose one. Put on it a rubber suit, to soles and palms attached plate thongs with big spiral springs like matratsny, put the person on all fours and inflated a red rubber cover. Directly huge bug which got drunk blood turned out.

– Jump! – Wagner speaks.

The young man raised forepaws, cavorted, overturned on a back, jumped up two times and lies on a back as the bug, waves paws.

– I cannot – says – from the earth to rise. Better from height.

Turned «bug», brought three tables, put the friend on the friend, and upward put «bug».

– Jump!

«Bug» jumped, rose up and again on a back. Time, another, the third jumped up – lies.

– Nothing, will learn – Wagner calms.

And again carried «bug» on a table. And that, «bug» got skilled at. Jumped, hit on all four pads and rose up that your flea, is higher than the house. Again hit springs against the earth and jumped up even above.

– Bravo! – shout.

And he when for the third time on the earth went down, suddenly itself shouts:

– How I will stop now? – also uprygnut.

Honestly. There is a task! He can jump, and is not able stop.

– Hold me! – shouts.

Ran behind it and where there! In three jumps all Field of Mars flew by.

– The boy was gone! Now and will jump around the globe…

However, on the happiness, it got into the river Seine. To the bottom dived, then the rubber bubble on a back took out it, and people caught.

As badly it was necessary to the daredevil, from a flea it was necessary even worse. And the young man, and behind him and other young people began to learn to jump in a flea way and reached big art soon. Even in a system could jump. Very much it was pleasant to the Minister of War.

– A new type of military forces – says – jumpers! Through entrenchments very easily can jump.

Jumpers began to hunt for a flea. Exhausted it completely. From Paris expelled. Did not allow to drink-eat, all drove. The flea in Arzhanteyle died. And twenty young people Tezeev brought a skin of «Minotaur» to Paris.

On pleasures the president awarded the order to professor Wagner of the Honourable legion.

– Only – says – depart from Paris with the first airplane!.

(The story is written down according to two persons – тг. N. A. P. and K. E. N. They told almost at the same time, interrupting and supplementing each other: from here some unevenness of style.)

* * *

Remark of professor Wagner:

«Again inventions! With me it was not. But similar I read something in some magazine several decades ago. Apparently, begin to attribute me legendary feats.

The assumption that if the flea was growth from the person, she could jump through the highest houses, is absolutely incorrect: is overlooked that the attraction of Earth increases in direct ratio to body weight or in proportion to a cube of linear increase. Despite all anatomic fitness of a flea to jumps, the flea increased before human growth would jump almost the same as the person, or is slightly higher.