The Child Left Behind
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‘Anyway,’ Hamilton went on after a while, ‘Jobert may be no oil painting, but I have it on good authority that he just happens to be the best baker in the town and so that is where I want you to go now. His shop is on Rue Allen and his name is above the shop, along with the word “Boulangerie”, which means baker. See, I have written it down for you, and I’ve written down what you must say too.’
‘Bonjour. Avez-vous une ficelle?’ Finn read out.
‘Not bad,’ Hamilton said approvingly. ‘Off you go then. I want that bread today, not tomorrow.’
Once out in the streets, Finn’s pulse quickened at the thought that he might see Gabrielle again. She might even serve in the shop. He deliberately hadn’t asked the captain if she did, because he guessed, by the amused smile on Hamilton’s face, that he had been waiting for him to do just that.
Gabrielle did serve in her father’s shop. Just to be near to her caused Finn’s heart to thump almost painfully against his ribs. His mouth was so dry that he wondered if he would be able to speak. He didn’t want to hand the piece of paper over as if he were a deaf mute. He had practised the sentence on the way so that he wouldn’t make an utter fool of himself and he continued to practise as he stood in the queue waiting to be served.
Though she made no sign, Gabrielle was only too aware that he was there. She couldn’t understand her attraction to the young soldier, who she could tell by his uniform served in the British Army, but she studied him surreptitiously as she served the other customers. He wasn’t as tall as her father, or as broad, but he looked fit, and his shoulders were well muscled. He wore no greatcoat that day and he looked so smart in his khaki uniform. His boots shone and his putties too were spotless.
He had removed his cap when he entered the shop and stood twisting it between his hands nervously. Gabrielle saw his hair was dark brown, his eyes were encircled with long black lashes, and his brow above them was puckered as if in concentration. Then the last customer left and the shop was empty except for Gabrielle, her mother and Finn. The mother turned to Gabrielle, said something to her and walked through to the back. Then Gabrielle faced Finn and smiled as she said, ‘Bonjour, Monsieur. Vous desirez?’
Her voice was just as melodious and charming as Finn had imagined it would be, and though he hadn’t understood what she said, he assumed that she was offering to serve him and so he replied, ‘Bonjour, Mademoiselle. Avez-vous une ficelle?’
Gabrielle clapped her hands in delight. ‘Très bon,’ she said, and added in an accent that totally bewitched Finn, ‘Very good, but we can talk in English, soldier, if it is easier for you.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ Finn cried. ‘I am so impressed. I never expected…’
‘Most of the townspeople speak only French,’ Gabrielle said, reaching for the bread he had asked for. ‘And they have never seen the need to learn other languages, but my maternal grandmother was half-English. She lived with us until she died, and though she spoke French most of the time, she spoke in English to me and my sister, Yvette. She always said learning another language was a good thing. It has been so useful now with so many English-speaking soldiers in the town.’
‘I can well imagine that,’ Finn said, taking the bread from Gabrielle. Their fingers touched for a brief second and a tingle ran through Finn’s arm.
‘Will that be all, soldier?’ Gabrielle asked.
Finn wanted to say no, say he wanted to stay and talk, but he was mindful of the captain’s warning about the girl’s father. Also the captain would be waiting for the bread, so he said regretfully, ‘I’m afraid it is, so I must say goodbye.’
‘Oh, not goodbye,’ Gabrielle smiled. ‘We are sure to meet again. Shall we say au revoir?’
Just the way that she said it and the way that she was looking at him was causing Finn’s heart to flip over and only willpower kept the shake out of his voice as he said, ‘Au revoir it is then.’ He left the shop and floated on air all the way back to Headquarters.
Every day that week, Hamilton sent Finn to the baker’s and every day he was increasingly charmed and bewitched by Gabrielle. He was surprised that she never seemed to hear the thump of his heart in his breast at the sight of her.
On Saturday, on his way to the baker’s, he had to weave his way through the crowded market that was held in the square in front of the hôtel de ville, which Captain Hamilton had told him was the town hall. Produce of every description was piled high on carts, barrows and trestle tables, and it reminded Finn of the Saturday market at Buncrana. It was a day such as this that he had stepped forward to enlist in the British Army, and for a moment he thought of them all at home and a wave of homesickness took him by surprise.
As he was making ready to return to his company on Saturday evening, he asked if he had leave in the morning to attend Mass.
‘Should have guessed you were a Catholic,’ Hamilton said.
‘Yes, sir,’ Finn said. ‘I didn’t get to go last week because we were just so busy transporting the wounded, but I thought—’
‘You thought that as all you are doing is attending to my creature comforts, you feel justified in leaving me to my own devices and attending to your immortal soul, is that it?’ Hamilton asked with a wry grin.
Finn wasn’t sure whether he was angry with him or not, though he knew that he was often sarcastic, so he said hesitantly. ‘Well, sir, it’s just…You see, sir…a Catholic is expected…’
Hamilton decided that he had enjoyed Finn’s discomfort long enough. ‘I am joking, Private Finn Sullivan,’ he said with a broad smile. ‘I wouldn’t like to be held responsible for you committing a sin by missing Mass and so if you make my breakfast, then you are free for the rest of the day.’
‘The whole day, sir?’ Finn said delighted. ‘Thank you, sir.’
In their brief forays through the town, Christy and Finn had decided to attend Mass at the cathedral, Notre Dame des Miracles, which was on Rue des Tribunaux towards the edge of town, and so the following day they made their way there. The cathedral was an imposing building, built of grey brick and approached up a set of stone steps.
‘It isn’t all that big, though, is it?’ Finn said. ‘I always thought that cathedrals were bigger places.’
‘How many cathedrals have you seen, then?’
‘Well, not that many,’ Finn replied with a grin. ‘None, in fact.’
‘Exactly,’ Christy replied. ‘Anyway, things are probably different here. Let’s go and have a look anyway.’ As they ascended the steps he said, ‘One of the lads in the mess was telling me about some tale of the shoes left on top of the tomb of some saint or other in this church.’
‘A patron saint of shoes?’ Finn asked incredulously.
‘No, you dope.’ Christy said. ‘Parents who have children with walking problems pray to him and leave shoes on his tomb.’
‘Was he having you on?’
‘Don’t think so.’
‘Well, it’s a very odd thing to do,’ Finn said. ‘I can’t wait to see that for myself.’ He opened the door as he spoke and stepped inside.
The cathedral was very beautiful. It was held up by gigantic pillars, and many flickering candles illuminated the elaborate golden screen above the ornate altar, while autumn sunshine shone through the domed stained-glass windows bathing the interior in shafts of vibrant colour.
Finn spotted, among the tombstones set around the edges of the church, the gilded tomb of St Erkembode, a collection of shoes of all shapes and sizes lining the top. The strains of the organ began and the two soldiers hurriedly entered a pew. But then all the beauty and splendour of the cathedral mattered little to Finn as he had spotted the Jobert family just two pews in front of him.
After that, he went through the Latin responses in an almost mechanical manner, anxious to get the Mass over and done with so that he could gaze on Gabrielle’s beautiful face once more. Her family were taking Communion ahead of Finn and Christy so that they were going to the rails as she was returning. Her eyes met Finn’s and once more she gave him that shy, tentative smile before bending her head over her joined hands.
Finn felt his heart skip a beat. Her smile was so wondrous he thought as he kneeled down at the rails to receive Communion; it was just as if she had bestowed a gift on him.
When the Mass was over, Finn led Christy out of the side door, knowing that that way he would be out before the Joberts, as people would probably mill on the steps outside the front door, as they did in most churches.
Christy, who hadn’t noticed the Joberts in the congregation, was surprised by the unseemly haste in which Finn was leaving, and a bit annoyed. He wouldn’t have minded taking a look round as the church emptied, and as they reached the alleyway the side door opened on to, he said, ‘What’s your hurry, Finn?’
Finn didn’t answer but continued to move up the alleyway, from which he could see the main doors of the church without being observed himself.
‘So what are we now hanging about here for?’ Christy said. ‘We should head back, shouldn’t we?’
‘In a minute,’ Finn said, because he had seen Gabrielle framed in the doorway and his heart had started to turn somersaults.
Christy followed his gaze and sighed. So that was it. Finn and his fixation on the Jobert girl. ‘You are heading for bloody trouble, if you ask me.’
‘Well, I haven’t asked you,’ Finn said. ‘Weren’t you the one that said soldiers should take risks? And this is the time to take them, because you are a bloody long time dead.’
At that moment a group of chattering girls, running round the corner at speed, almost cannoned into him. There was a flurry of apologies before Finn realised that one of the girls was Gabrielle’s young sister. He saw that Gabrielle was now out of church and on the steps beside their parents, who were in conversation.
Yvette Jobert recognised Finn at the same time and bobbed a little curtsy. ‘Bonjour, Monsieur.’
‘Bonjour, Mademoiselle,’ Finn replied, raising his hat.
The girls giggled at Finn’s response and the sound drew Gabrielle’s attention. She turned and, spotting her sister, came towards them. When she saw Finn and Christy she coloured bright pink before turning to her sister and speaking sharply to her in French.
‘Don’t scold her,’ Finn said. ‘We only greeted one another, that was all.’
‘That is enough,’ Gabrielle said. ‘Believe me, if my father caught her near a soldier, let alone talking to one, he would be very angry.’ There was a pause and then she added, ‘Let us hope that he hasn’t noticed our absence.’ And then turning to include Christy she said, ‘I bid you au revoir, gentlemen.’
‘Au revoir, Mademoiselle,’ Finn replied, his voice slightly husky with emotion.
He watched her stride back to her parents with her chastened sister trailing behind her.
‘See. Do you want it spelled out any more clearly than that,’ Christy said. ‘Even to stand near you is a sin in their father’s eyes, so your fantasy will just have to stay a fantasy. Now let’s go back to the camp and get something to eat before I fade away completely.’
THREE
Finn was so agitated by seeing Gabrielle that he found it hard to settle down when they got back to the camp and after dinner in the mess he decided to go for a walk, though the early promise of the day being a fine one was false. The sky was now gun-metal grey, with a nip in the air that showed winter wasn’t that far away.
‘Are you coming?’ he said to Christy.
‘Might as well,’ Christy said good-naturedly. ‘Though, God knows, you are the Devil’s own company. Let’s walk into the town and see if a few drinks will put a smile on your face.’
The canal was a busy thoroughfare through the week because as well as carrying produce in from the farms, it transported broken military equipment. On Sunday, however, the water was quiet and still, and the ground the other side of it was a carpet of fallen leaves. Finn was morosely kicking them in front of him when suddenly, coming down Rue de Dunkerque, Finn saw the two Jobert girls dressed in the matching blue coats, bonnets and muffs that they had worn to Mass, and they were alone.
At Mass he hadn’t dared look at Gabrielle directly; now, as he drew nearer, he noticed just how fetching she looked in the bonnet that framed her pretty little face, and the blood ran like liquid fire in his body as he said with a smile, ‘Bonjour. May I say how very fine you both look?’
‘We cannot speak to you,’ Gabrielle said with a panicky look around her. ‘If word was to get back to my father, it would be too terrible to contemplate.’
‘We mean you no harm,’ Finn said.
Before Gabrielle was able to answer, Christy added, ‘I hope you didn’t get into trouble for speaking to us this morning.’
‘No, neither of us did, thankfully,’ Gabrielle said, ‘but only because my father was unaware of it. But to tarry here is madness, and if word got to my father, my mother would be in trouble too.’ And so saying, she pulled Finn into the relative shelter of a large weeping willow at the water’s edge.
Finn looked at her in puzzlement. ‘Why?’
‘Because Maman is supposed to guard us,’ Gabrielle said almost bitterly. ‘You see, my father retires each Sunday not long after dinner because he has to be up in the early hours to put on the ovens to bake the bread. My mother is supposed to accompany us on our walk, but she is tired from working in the shop all week.’
‘She usually has stomachache too,’ Yvette said.
‘Yes,’ Gabrielle said. ‘Our poor mother is plagued with indigestion and it is always worse after a Sunday dinner, for all she eats so little of it. Anyway, I am seventeen years old. I can look after myself, and Yvette too. My father would like us both locked up in a dungeon with him as the gaoler. But we must go now. I’m sorry.’
‘We could meet you in the jardin public,’ Yvette said. ‘We normally go there anyway when the weather is fine. We only came here today because Gabrielle thought it was going to rain.’
‘Yvette, what are you suggesting?’ her sister scolded.
‘Nothing,’ Yvette said.
‘We can just meet to walk and talk together,’ Finn said hopefully.
‘Come on, man,’ Christy said irritability. ‘You must see that this is crazy.’
Strangely it was Christy’s words that lit the small flame of defiance in Gabrielle’s soul. What was wrong with walking and talking with two respectable young soldiers far from home, and Roman Catholic soldiers, no less? Some of her old school friends were engaged to be married, despite the war that had taken many young men away. It was no shame now to walk arm in arm with a British soldier about the town and she had seen many who did. They were, after all, allies of the French, and if she was to agree to meet with them again Yvette would be with her as her chaperone.
If her father got to hear, she decided, then she would deal with it, though she felt a little icy finger of fear trickle down her spine at the thought because her father’s rages did frighten her. And yet she knew that if ever she was to have a life of her own, she had to learn to stand up to him.
‘Yvette is right. We could meet at the jardin public next Sunday, if the day is a fine one.’
‘I think you are both courting danger,’ Christy said. ‘Anyway,’ he turned to his friend, ‘doesn’t it depend on whether we have time off or not? We are in the army, unless it has escaped your notice, and our time is not our own.’
Gabrielle shrugged. ‘If you cannot come, there is no harm done,’ she said. ‘If it is fine Yvette and I will be there at about half-past two. It is what you English call a park,’ Gabrielle said, ‘and it is at the other side of the town, not far from the cathedral where you were this morning. Do you think you could find your way there?’
‘I think so.’
‘Well then, wait at the bandstand,’ Gabrielle said. ‘You will have a full view then of the main entrance. We will not come over to you or acknowledge you in anyway but make our way to the woodland further in. You wait a few minutes and join us there.’
She saw Finn’s eyes open wide in astonishment. She grabbed hold of his hands and he felt the tingle from her touch run all through his arms as she said earnestly, ‘Believe me, I am not being overdramatic. This—oh, what do you call it?—this subterfuge is necessary to protect us both.’
‘All right,’ Finn said, reading the fear in Gabrielle’s eyes. ‘It will be done just as you say.’
‘You’re a fool, Finn Sullivan,’ Christy said as the two girls left them.
‘You can only say that because you have obviously never felt this way about anyone,’ Finn said as he watched them walk away.
‘No, I haven’t,’ Christy said. ‘And I’ll take care to see that it stays that way. Seems like a mug’s game to me. Now, are we going for this drink or not?’
The following Sunday afternoon the sky was overcast, the air felt cold and there was a bristling wind. ‘I hope we’re not too late,’ Finn said to a reluctant Christy, as they hurried towards the park.
‘How could we be?’ Christy answered. ‘We set off from the camp at two o’clock sharp and it doesn’t take more that fifteen minutes to walk here—less at the pace you set.’
‘I just wanted to be sure we were on time.’
‘What you want is to have your head examined,’ Christy commented wryly. ‘But we have already gone down that road and you don’t listen to reason. Now settle yourself. If they have decided to come out today, despite the fact that it would be far more comfortable to sit by their own firesides, they’ll be along shortly. If there is no sign of them in about fifteen minutes or so, I am going to find myself a nice warm bar somewhere and have a drink, and you can please yourself.’
‘They’ll be here,’ Finn said firmly. ‘I’ve been almost daily to the shop. If Gabrielle wasn’t going to turn up for some reason then I’m sure that she would have found some way of telling me.’
He had been very careful to try to keep his excitement in check that morning when he served Captain Hamilton his breakfast, but he was unable to keep the smile from his face.
In the end, Hamilton said, ‘What the devil is pleasing you so much, Sullivan?’
‘Nothing, sir.’
‘Something damned well is,’ Hamilton snapped. ‘You’re grinning like a Cheshire cat. Got a fancy for a woman or what?’
The blush that flooded over Finn’s face gave Hamilton his answer and he laughed. ‘So that’s it, you sly horse. Glad to see that you have taken my advice and got over Gabrielle Jobert. I hope the girl you’re seeing is a decent sort.’
‘Oh yes, sir.’
Finn knew that the captain would be singing a different tune entirely if he had been aware who he was waiting for that bleak Sunday afternoon. He might easily have him transferred back to his battalion, and in disgrace too. Gabrielle wasn’t the only one who wanted the liaison kept secret.
A few minutes later, from his vantage point on the bandstand, he saw Gabrielle and her sister cross the road and enter the park. They didn’t approach, or even look in his direction, but followed the path round, and Finn thought five minutes had never passed so slowly before he could set off to meet up with them. ‘Bonjour, Mademoiselles Jobert,’ Finn said as he approached them.
He spoke to them both, but his eyes were fastened on Gabrielle and when she blushed Finn thought she was more beautiful than ever.
Yvette laughed. ‘My name isn’t Mademoiselle Jobert. I’m just Yvette and my sister is Gabrielle.’
‘And I am Finn Sullivan,’ Finn declared, as they began to walk on through the trees. ‘And this is my friend, Christy Byrne.’
‘Well, I am very pleased to meet you both,’ Gabrielle said. ‘I was surprised to see you at Mass last Sunday and then again this morning. I don’t recall ever having seen a man from the British Army at Mass before.’
‘Well, although I am in the British Army, Christy and I are from Ireland,’ Finn said. ‘And that, like France, is a Catholic country.’
‘Ah, yes,’ Gabrielle said. ‘I wondered what the accent was. I couldn’t quite place it.’
‘We are in the Royal Inniskilling Fusiliers,’ Finn explained. ‘We have a fair few Catholics in our regiment.’
‘Then I am surprised there were not more soldiers at Mass,’ Gabrielle said.
‘Well, there are other churches in the town and Mass at different times,’ Finn pointed out. ‘But probably some, now that they’re away from home, will risk their immortal souls for a few extra hours in bed.’
‘Besides, only a relative few were sent here for special duties,’ Christy said.
‘And what are those special duties, soldier boy?’ Gabrielle asked with a coy smile.
Finn gave a quiet chuckle as Christy said, ‘We look after the creature comforts of the officers at the British Headquarters, for the moment at least.’
‘And what do you both do in your spare time?’ Gabrielle asked.
‘Well, our free time is governed by the officers we are assigned to,’ Finn said. ‘When we are at the camp some of the lads might be playing football, others will be playing cards or dominoes or reading, and I would probably be cleaning my kit and especially my rifle, lying on my bed sleeping, or writing letters home. It’s pretty boring, really.’
He smiled at her and then in the bantering tone she had used, he asked with a sardonic grin, ‘And what do you do with your free time, Mademoiselle Jobert?’
‘I really don’t have much free time,’ Gabrielle said, ‘what with serving in the shop and helping my mother. Sunday is my one free day and then we love to go for a walk.’ She grinned mischievously at Finn and added, ‘I find it a most agreeable pastime.’
‘And so do I,’ said Finn.
Gabrielle’s eyes met Finn’s and she saw the yearning in them that she knew would be mirrored in her own. For a split second it was as if time had stood still and they were alone. Everyone else had ceased to exist.
Then Finn tore his gaze away. His heart was banging and his mouth felt unaccountably dry. He knew then that he loved Gabrielle Jobert heart, body and soul, although he had not touched her and he barely knew her. None of that mattered.
What did matter, though, was that he was a soldier from a country at war, who any moment could be ordered away. He wondered whether it was wise to begin any sort of relationship with this wonderful girl or whether it would be kinder to her to nip it in the bud. Yvette’s voice brought him back down to earth, saying how brave she thought all the soldiers were.
He was unable to answer straightaway and he was grateful to Christy, who said, ‘I don’t know whether either of us have earned that title or not, Yvette, for we have yet to meet the enemy, though we joined up last year and have done months of training.’
Yvette’s eyes were puzzled as she said in surprise, ‘Do you want to fight then?’
Finn had recovered himself sufficiently enough to say, ‘It’s not the fighting for fighting’s sake that I regret, but when my brothers write that there are boatloads of injured Irish boys arriving home just now, and I am here high and dry and never near a bullet, it makes me feel a bit of a fraud.’
‘I can understand you feeling that way,’ Gabrielle said, ‘but I am very glad you came here for a time.’ Again there was that attractive flush to her face that caused Finn’s heart to beat faster as she asked, ‘Do you think me very forward?’
‘Why should I?’ he asked.
‘It’s not seemly for a woman to speak of such things.’
Yvette suddenly walked ahead and Gabrielle knew that it was to give her and Finn some privacy. Christy, seeing the way the wind blew, followed Yvette.
Finn continued, ‘Of course it’s seemly. Yvette sort of suggested we meet today and if you hadn’t agreed then I would probably never have plucked up the courage to ask you myself. I would consider it too presumptuous.’