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Raine worked for his mother? What the hell had happened to her dreams? To her trust fund? She shouldn’t have to work odd landscaping jobs for his mother. The thought of those small, dainty hands marred with calluses bothered him.
Most of the shallow women he knew back in L.A. wouldn’t dream of doing their own landscaping, let alone someone else’s.
“Who else does she work for in the summer?”
Elise shrugged a delicate shoulder. “Several families around here. Not her own, of course. Her mother is mortified that Raine does so much manual labor.”
“And what kind of manual labor does she do?” he asked.
“She’s quite the gardener and farmer. She prides herself on growing her own organic plants to keep them as natural and healthy as possible. Her grandmother would be so pleased.”
Max knew Raine had never felt a familial bond with anyone other than her cousin, Jill, and her grandmother. He’d seen firsthand how that elderly woman had catered to Raine, showed her all she would need to know about running a farm, raising animals and growing gardens. Raine’s maternal grandmother was accepted in Lenox because she was sweet and elderly but when a twenty-something woman tries to follow in those footsteps...well, he assumed that bohemian lifestyle didn’t go over so well in the posh, hoity-toity land of tea sippers and pearl wearers.
“I just saw her house,” Max stated. “It needs quite a bit of work. I can’t believe she’d let it get like that.”
His mother shrugged. “None of my business. But if she doesn’t take care of it, the Historical Society will come in and make her. That house is a landmark in Lenox, even with the barns. In fact those barns are kept up better than her house. That girl cares more about the animals and the people around her than she does her own comfort.”
As much as Max wanted to know more about Raine, his mother looked tired as her eyelids were growing heavy. He would be here for a few months, so there was no doubt he’d find out all he wanted about Raine and her new life.
His life was always splashed all over the internet and in the tabloids...or the life the media tended to fabricate. There was no doubt Raine knew more about his life over the years than he knew about hers. It wasn’t like he’d find anything if he did a Google search on her name...at least nothing of use.
“Is there anything I can get you before I go?” he asked, turning his attention back to his mom.
His mother grabbed his hand and squeezed. “No, I’m just glad you’re here.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, Mom.”
“Please, Max, don’t make this about your father.” Her eyes held his, a sad smile forming on her lips. “He’s busy this time of year.”
Max nodded, really not wanting to get into this argument again. “He’s been busy his whole life, Mom. I’m not here to fight, but I also won’t pretend that it’s okay to put work before family, because it’s not. I work across the country, and I’m here.”
Her eyes misted. “All I’ve ever wanted is for the two of you to make peace. That’s all.”
Guilt weighed heavily on Max because he knew of his mother’s wishes, but he and Thomas Ford would never get along, because they viewed life from opposite ends of the spectrum.
Max leaned forward, kissing his mother on the cheek. “Good night, Mom. See you in the morning.”
He turned off the light on his way out of the room and pulled the door shut behind him. It was odd spending the night in his old home. The memories that filled these halls, these rooms, played through his mind like a movie. The glimpses he caught seemed like another lifetime, another person.
As he went back downstairs, he recalled the time he’d snuck Raine in after they’d first started dating. His parents had been out at some charity dinner and wouldn’t be home for hours. He knew they wouldn’t approve, and to be honest, that just made the clandestine encounter all the more appealing.
He’d never forget how it had felt kissing her in that dark foyer as soon as they’d stepped through the door. As he stood at the base of the steps now, he could still see that young couple, arms intertwined, lips locked. Max had waited weeks to get her alone to kiss her, and she’d been so worth the wait.
Max sighed, raking a hand over his face. Teenage love was so complicated at the time, but looking back, he realized that was the best experience of his life. He and Raine had had something special, something he’d convinced himself could stand the test of distance and time.
But no matter how many letters he had written, emails he had sent or calls he had made, she’d never acknowledged him after he left. And he refused to tell anyone how deeply her rejection had hurt. Then and now. Although years had passed since they’d last seen each other, they’d once been very much in love. So how could Raine be so cold and act like they’d shared nothing?
Max was still recovering from that heartache—and seeing her up close, knowing she had a baby, a life, only twisted that knife a little deeper into his already wounded heart.
Three
The snow wasn’t letting up at all and neither was Abby. Raine had no clue how mothers had more than one child. And twins? Mercy, those women deserved a special place in heaven. She was having a hard enough time just focusing on this one kid, not to mention holding down a job, fixing dinners, showering, taking a bathroom break...
But Raine had always wanted to be a mother, and she would not trade a moment of the sleepless nights for anything. Especially since Jill had needed Raine, and there was no way Raine could turn her back on her cousin when she needed someone the most.
Being shut out of your family because of decisions you made was the common connection she and Jill shared. They’d always been close, but this baby truly secured that tight band around their love.
And regardless of genetics or DNA, Abby was 100 percent Raine’s. From the moment the precious baby girl had tightened her chubby little hand around Raine’s finger, she knew no greater bond could exist. Even those accidental gassy smiles were like another stamp on her heart, solidifying the fact that Raine couldn’t love Abby any more even if Raine herself had given birth to Abby.
Hearing the growing cries, Raine shook the bottle on her way back to the nursery. Early morning sunlight spilled through the window, and she picked up the fussy baby and prayed to God that, after this bottle, Abby would sleep for a couple hours. Because Raine truly didn’t know how much longer she could go on little to no sleep.
Sweet dimpled hands came up to grip the sides of the bottle, and Raine sank into the cushy rocker in the corner of the room. Resting her head against the back of the cushion, she closed her eyes as Abby greedily sucked down the milk.
Thankfully they had nowhere to go today, seeing as how the snow kept coming down in big, thick flakes. And when she’d glanced out at the driveway, her car had been there. The tow service must’ve brought it after she’d gone to bed, and she had no doubt there would be a hefty bill on her credit card statement since she had to give them the account number when she had called.
From what she’d seen, only the headlight and the grille were damaged, but she hadn’t waded through the snow to find out any more.
Raine opened her eyes and glanced down at Abby whose own eyes had drifted shut.
“Now you want to sleep,” Raine said with a smile. “When I’m holding and feeding you, but when you’re alone in your bed, you want to scream.”
Raine knew the feeling of being alone, left out and neglected. But there was no way this baby would ever feel anything less than secure. Perhaps that’s why Abby kept crying. She instinctively knew that Raine couldn’t handle it and would hold her to calm her down. The truth was, Raine just hated the thought of the baby feeling scared or abandoned.
There was no worse feeling in the world.
“We have each other,” she whispered to Abby. “And you’ll always know what love is.”
Finally when the bottle was depleted and Abby was breathing peacefully, Raine swiped the milk from beneath Abby’s soft, full lips and laid the baby back in the crib.
Raine slid the curtain from the hook and blocked out the bright sun. Tiptoeing as quietly as possible, Raine eased the door closed behind her.
Should she go finish making the rest of her lavender soaps, take a brief nap and then start in on filling the online orders, or throw a load of laundry in, and fold and put away the two baskets waiting on her?
Did the to-do list never end?
She’d just gone into her workroom when she glanced out the window and saw a full-sized black truck pull up her drive. In a mad dash, she ran down the stairs, because, if someone rang her doorbell, she’d not be greeting them with the most pleasant of smiles. She’d personally murder anyone who woke Abby from her long overdue nap.
Raine jerked open the door just as Marshall Wallace lifted his hand to the bell. She resisted the urge to ignore this unwanted visitor, not that she didn’t like Marshall, but she knew why he was here, and she wasn’t in the mood.
“Hey, Raine,” the young, polished man said with a wide smile. “Your father wanted me to drive out here and check on you.”
“Hi, Marshall.” She curled her hands around the door. “As you can see, I’m fine. So go back and tell the mayor he did his civic duty.”
God forbid her father trek out here in the elements to see how she and Abby were doing. The salt and snow would probably ruin his designer shoes.
And that was just another common thread she and Max had shared. Their fathers always put work ahead of family. Even though Max was one of the most recognized men in Hollywood, he’d dropped everything to be with his mother. Not that she needed a lot of care, but he was here for the love and support.
“Have you thought any more about my offer?” Marshall asked, shoving his hands into the pocket of his thick brown coat.
Raine sighed. Another reason why she always cringed when Marshall came to her house. The man was relentless in his quest to date her. He’d started pursuing her years ago after Max had left. He’d been so persistent and in her face, she’d let it slip that she was pregnant so he’d back off. Then she’d regretted her decision and had sworn him to secrecy.
She’d given into his advances once, though, and they’d gone out. The entire evening Raine felt like she was dating her brother...if she had had a brother, she figured that’s what it would be like.
“Marshall, I’m just so busy right now with Abby, focusing on the adoption and working on my online orders. You wouldn’t want to go out with me. You should look for someone with more time and freedom.”
“I’d be more than happy to come here with dinner. We don’t have to go out.”
Oh, Lord. If he thought he’d come over, eat dinner and play house, he was sorely mistaken. Even she wasn’t that desperate.
Raine dodged his less-than-subtle approach and returned his smile. “Tell my father I’m fine, and so is the baby, not that he ever asks about her. I appreciate you coming out, Marshall.”
As she started to close the door, a big black boot stepped over the threshold and blocked her.
“I hope you’ll at least consider my offer, Raine,” he told her, easing his body just inside the door frame. “That time we went out, I felt a connection with you.”
A connection? This was worse than she thought. Surely whatever he felt was just like...indigestion. There was no way that lame date sparked something romantic on his end. Of course, he could just be horny, and that was a whole other matter she didn’t want to get into with him.
“Marshall, I don’t have time to date right now. I’m sure a busy man like you understands.”
There, she’d appealed to his male ego and even stroked it a little. If he didn’t back off, she’d just have to be blunt and tell him to get the hell off her property. But her mother had raised a lady, despite her mother’s views to the contrary, so Raine would make every effort to be polite.
Marshall nodded. “I won’t give up on us, Raine.”
Before she could sputter a “There is no us,” he’d turned and was heading back to his truck. Was this dude for real? She’d never once led him to believe there was hope. Even after their date when he’d gone to kiss her good-night, she’d done the swift head turn, and he’d caught her cheek.
Closing the door, Raine sagged against it and squeezed her eyes shut. Why did life hate her? Why, within the span of twenty-four hours, did she have to encounter the only man she’d ever loved and now was fighting off the one man who wouldn’t take no for an answer? Apparently Cupid had struck Marshall, and now he was determined to make her his Valentine. No thank you.
Damn, Valentine’s Day was two days away, and Marshall was probably looking for a date. That was a big hell no.
The only Valentine she wanted was asleep upstairs. Besides, Valentine’s Day didn’t mean much to her. She’d spent nearly all of them single, except when she had dated Max. He’d given her this little gold locket and had told her that she’d always have his heart.
She should’ve known an eighteen-year-old boy was only out for sex, but those pretty words had made her fall in love with him even more. And she’d die before she ever admitted she still had that locket. So what? She had kept quite a few things from high school. Just because that particular piece was in her jewelry box didn’t mean anything.
God, she couldn’t even lie to herself. She’d kept that locket because she’d wanted to hold on to that hope that one person truly loved her for her, for the quirky way she was.
But that love was not only naive, it was a fabrication.
The banging on the door jarred Raine’s body, making her jump. Pressing a hand to her chest to try to control her rapid heartbeat, she turned back to the door. Marshall really didn’t give up, did he?
She threw open the door, ready to be brutally honest with the man, but it wasn’t Marshall standing before her. It was Max.
With the collar of his black coat up around his neck and his dark knit cap pulled low on his forehead, he looked mysterious...sultry even. And that sexy stubble along his jawline only made him look more ruggedly handsome. With those dark eyes staring back at her, Raine felt that gaze all through her body, infiltrating places she wished would stay dormant where this man was concerned.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, blocking him from seeing inside.
“Wanted to make sure you had your car back and to see if you needed anything. The roads are pretty bad, and they’re calling for several inches per hour for the next day.”
Raine didn’t want her heart to melt at his worry. And she didn’t know why the notion of Max checking up on her made her belly dance with nerves, when the visit from Marshall had simply annoyed her.
She didn’t want the belly-dancing nerves. She wanted to stay angry with Max for the rest of her life, but seriously, she had to get over the teenage attitude. They now led different lives. It was over and way past time to move on.
“I’m good right now,” she replied.
“How bad was the car?” he asked.
Raine peered out around him to assess the damage. “I haven’t gone out to see up close, but it looks minimal. I’m sure I can still drive it.”
“Not in this weather, you can’t.” He pointed to the four-wheel-drive truck he had. “I used the truck dad keeps in the garage, because there was no way my rental would’ve gotten me here.”
Abby’s screeching cry sounded through the house, and Raine resisted the urge to cry herself.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I need to get her.”
She turned from the door and ran up the steps. Abby was clearly not happy, but the second her eyes landed on Raine, she calmed down.
“You really just want me here, don’t you, sweet pea?” she cooed as she picked Abby up and laid her against her shoulder. “You need to learn to sleep without me coming in here all the time.”
But how could Raine be upset? Even though she was in a zombielike state nearly every day, there was just no way she could be angry or even feel put out by this precious bundle.
“You’re just tired yourself, aren’t you?”
Reaching into the crib, Raine grabbed the yellow blanket and wrapped it around Abby. Maybe she would be entertained in her swing while Raine worked on the soaps. Perhaps Abby would fall asleep there and get some much needed rest.
As she turned from the crib, she froze when she saw Max standing in the doorway.
“I thought you left,” she said, trying not to cringe over him being in her home. Her run-down home.
This man was used to Beverly Hills mansions, probably threw lavish patio parties where guests mingled over champagne and caviar. And here he was in her home, with its carpet tearing, linoleum peeling, ceilings chipping...the list went on and on.
“I wasn’t done talking.”
Raine snickered. “I wasn’t under the impression we had anything more to discuss.”
“Is she okay?” he asked, nodded toward Abby.
“She’s fine. She doesn’t like to be alone.”
His eyes returned to hers. “Sounds like she takes after her mother.”
Raine started to correct him, but technically Raine was Abby’s mother. Just because she was adopted—or would hopefully be soon—didn’t make the relationship any less real. And Max wasn’t going to be sticking around anyway, so really anything she did or did not do was none of his business.
Shifting Abby to the other shoulder, Raine patted her bottom and swayed side to side. “What did you need to talk about that you braved this weather to come see me?”
He opened his mouth, but Abby started screaming right in Raine’s ear, and Max straightened in the doorway. “What’s wrong?”
Raine pulled Abby back and looked at her. Abby was rubbing her eyes, fussing and puckering that little lip. It was the pucker that always got her.
“She’s just tired,” Raine explained. “She fights sleep.”
“Fights sleep?”
“Trust me. It sounds insane, but there’s no other term for it.”
Raine moved over to the rocker and started singing “You Are My Sunshine.” Usually that song calmed Abby down. Raine had gone through the song twice before Abby relaxed against her. Max eased out into the hall, and Raine appreciated the privacy. It wasn’t that she was uncomfortable with him here, but... Oh, who was she kidding? She was extremely uncomfortable. Here she was all frumpy in her fleece socks, paint-stained sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt that read Meat Sucks in big, block letters.
Added to that, the house was a mess. She hadn’t been able to really clean since Abby came, and the past week had been hell because there was no sleep happening in this house...for either of them.
And she wasn’t even going to get into the repairs that needed to be done. Basically the house and everything and everyone in it needed an overhaul. Too bad none of that would be happening anytime soon.
“I need to rock her again,” Raine hollered over the baby’s cries, hoping Max would take the hint and let himself out.
He nodded. “I can wait in the living room. We need to talk.”
Talk. One word. Four simple letters that sparked myriad emotions...fear being the number one contender.
What did he want to talk about? Okay, that was probably a stupid question, but did he really want to rehash the past, or did he have an ulterior motive?
Before she could question him, Max had turned and walked from the room. Raine attempted to shift her attention as she moved toward the rocker, swiping the pacifier off the changing table first. Maybe this would work. Raine wasn’t a fan of the thing because she dreaded weaning Abby from it in the months to come, but something had to help this poor baby sleep, and if the pacifier worked, then, hey, Raine was all for it.
Abby instantly started sucking, her moist lids lowered over her eyes, and she sniffled a little, but for the most part calmed right down.
In no time she was asleep...again. Hopefully for a few hours this go-round. Raine couldn’t keep coming into the nursery every time the baby cried, but she couldn’t just stand outside the door and listen to it, either. Surely there was a happy medium.
Raine placed Abby back in the crib and eased out of the room. Now, if she could just get Max to leave, she’d be able to dodge this inevitably awkward chat. And not only would their talk be awkward, but her emotions were bound to make her more than uncomfortable. The man kept sparking things within her...she just couldn’t let that flame rekindle.
When she passed the hall mirror, she caught a glimpse of herself and resisted the urge to straighten up the lopsided ponytail and all the tendrils that had spilled from it. Max had already seen her, and she wasn’t out to impress him, anyway. It wasn’t like she could even compare to the supermodels and A-list actresses that had clung to his arm through the years.
Besides that, she wasn’t sorry for who she was. She was happy with her meager life, and she wouldn’t feel ashamed simply because her high school sweetheart was in her living room.
At the top of the steps she straightened her shoulders and silently applauded herself for the mental pep talk. Now she had to face Max, figure out what he thought they needed to discuss and get him out of her house. Because she couldn’t afford for those old feelings to come creeping back up again.
Four
Max glanced at the various photos spread across the mantel. Most were of Raine with her grandmother from years ago, but now newer ones had been placed in frames. Pictures of Raine with Abby, Abby sleeping, a black-and-white picture of Abby’s hand holding onto what he presumed to be Raine’s finger.
But he never saw a picture of the baby with a man...or Raine with a man for that matter. The fact she was alone with this baby shouldn’t make him feel relieved, because in reality, that just made him a jerk, but he’d be lying if he didn’t admit that he’d gotten a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach when he had thought of her creating a family with someone else.
When he’d decided to come home, he knew the chances of running into her were pretty good, and he’d dreaded the thought of seeing some lucky man standing at her side.
Max was supposed to be that man. Max had spent day after agonizing day trying to reach Raine once he’d hit L.A. He just couldn’t figure out why she’d lied and said she’d be right behind him. Why not just cut ties before he left and spare him that misery?
But she’d strung him along, and her rejection had sent him into a downward spiral which eventually culminated in his near-fatal motorcycle accident. He’d cared for nothing, living recklessly and damning the world around him. But the wreck had really opened his eyes.
Max released a deep, slow breath. He had no idea what possessed him to drive out here today when the weather was so bad, but he’d seen her stranded in the snow, then socializing with his mother, as if there was no history between them, and couldn’t get over the fact that so much had been left hanging between him and Raine. He knew they’d both moved on, but that didn’t stop him from wanting closure.
He needed answers, and he wasn’t leaving until he got them. Raine may have shut that chapter in her life, but he was about to reopen it.
* * *
As Raine descended the staircase, she held all the poise and glamour her mother had raised her to have, but he couldn’t suppress a grin because of her bedhead, the verbiage on her T-shirt and the way she tried to be so regal when she looked like a hot mess.
But that’s one of the things he’d always admired about her. She never cared what people thought of her image; her only worry was caring for others.
“You should go,” she stated. “The weather isn’t getting any better.”
Max glanced over at one of the photos on the mantel. “I snapped this picture.”
Her eyes drifted to the photo he was pointing to. A young Raine had her arms thrown around the neck of her grandmother, both women were laughing for the camera. Max could practically hear the laughter, and he was instantly transported back to that day.