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Nerves gathered in her belly and she couldn’t believe she was actually standing here. Hadn’t she made a big enough fool of herself yesterday? At work, no less.
Maybe she should just leave the basket on the swing and—
The door opened, cutting off her thoughts. Once she recovered from the fact she was actually at Noah’s home, it took every single ounce of self-restraint she had not to burst out laughing.
“Are you wearing—”
“Yes. What are you doing here?”
Lucy didn’t know whether to be extremely confused or thoroughly entertained at the sight of Noah Spencer sporting a plastic tiara, dangling clip-on jeweled earrings, and a purple beaded necklace.
Before Lucy could make a comment of any sort, a little girl popped out from behind Noah’s legs. She too wore fancy accessories, but she had on a sparkly dress with a full skirt that went all the way to the floor.
Lucy immediately glanced back to Noah. He offered a simple smile, flashing that dimple at the corner of his mouth.
“This is my daughter, Emma. Emma, this is one of Daddy’s coworkers, Lucy.”
His daughter. Lucy hadn’t heard a word about a little girl. Noah was one private man and now Lucy felt even sillier coming here unannounced.
“You look beautiful,” Lucy stated as she bent down to the pre-schooler. “Do you always play dress-up with your dad?”
“I played with my mommy, but she’s not here anymore.” Emma’s little chin wobbled for a second before she continued. “Daddy lets me put anything on him, but not a dress.”
Lucy laughed. Apparently Noah had his limits even with his little girl.
Emma smiled up at her dad and Noah nodded to her. When the little girl turned her wide blue eyes back to Lucy, Lucy couldn’t help but smile in return.
“We have tea parties,” Emma answered. “Daddy puts extra sugar in it.”
As she spoke again, Lucy realized the little girl had the cutest dimple on the side of her mouth, just like her father. Could she be any more adorable?
A flash of old dreams coursed through Lucy’s mind. At one time she and Evan had wanted children. They’d bought their home with all the acreage and added two horses, with the intention of filling their home with kids. Then he’d been deployed and that had been the end of her dreams for a family.
She’d always assumed those wishes had died with him, but seeing little Emma brought them back again. A lump settled in her throat, blocking her words.
“Come on in.” Noah stepped back, placing a hand on Emma’s shoulder to pull her with him. “Sorry. It’s cold out there.”
Lucy stepped over the threshold and attempted a smile to mask the unexpected hurt. “You’ve just got to get that Southern blood used to this. It’s really not cold in the grand scheme of things.”
He grunted as he shut the door. Emma ran through the house and disappeared, apparently getting back to her interrupted tea party. Lucy clutched her basket as more doubts crept in.
“I’m sorry,” she began as she turned back to Noah. “I shouldn’t just show up unannounced. Especially after yesterday, but... You know, it’s really difficult to talk to you when you’re dressed like an overgrown princess.”
Noah pulled the tiara from his head and snapped the earrings off his ears, but remained in the beads. “What brought you here, Lucy?”
Was it completely pathetic that she liked how he said her name? Most likely, but she couldn’t help how she felt. She could, however, keep her mouth shut on that subject and try to get back on some level ground with him.
“I made scones for you.” She held up the basket and smiled. “I didn’t know you had a little girl or I would’ve made some of my monster cookies.”
“Monster cookies?” he asked as he used his fingertip to push aside the checkered towel to see inside the basket.
“It’s a chocolate chip cookie, but you add M&M’s and other candies. Really, anything you like. They’re pretty amazing.”
He pulled a scone from the basket and took a bite. When his lids lowered and he groaned, Lucy felt more confident in her decision to bring the peace offering. She typically only baked for the support group or for family and friends. This was the first time she’d done it for a virtual stranger.
“These are amazing,” he said around his second bite. “Is that cranberry?”
“It is, and I put a dash of orange in it.”
He finished the scone and dusted his hand on his jeans. “You might as well come on in, but I can’t guarantee you won’t end up with a tiara on your head and a cup of tea.”
A little part of Lucy’s heart flipped over.
“I’d love to have a tiara.”
Noah reached for the basket. “Come on back.”
“Wait.” She relinquished the basket and shoved her hands inside her jacket. “I want to apologize for yesterday. I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable between us.”
The dark eyes she’d come to appreciate held her as he closed the distance between them. In one hand he held the basket, and in the other he had the girly accessories.
“I wasn’t uncomfortable,” he murmured. “Intrigued and surprised, but not uncomfortable.”
The air between them seemed to thicken because she was having a difficult time breathing. And he still appeared just as calm and in control as ever.
“Why don’t you take your jacket off and join our tea party?” he asked.
Lucy couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped her lips. “How can I turn down an invitation like that from a man wearing purple beads?”
Emma came twirling back through the house holding a stuffed bear as her dance partner. “Is the pretty lady staying?”
Lucy kept her focus on Noah because that precious girl was a reminder of things she’d once dreamed of. Things Lucy hadn’t realized she still wanted until just now. A child of her own. A family.
Honestly, Lucy didn’t know what was more damaging to her heart, Emma or Noah. But the combination of the two was downright terrifying. Nevertheless, she wasn’t going to pass up the chance to stay.
Part of her rationalized that she was staying as a way to break through to Noah and get him to open up about his feelings. He needed new friends in the town, right? And since he refused to join her meetings, she’d just have to try to get him to open up in other ways. She could be his support team...right? That was totally logical and the right thing to do.
Of course the devil on her other shoulder called her a bald-faced liar. She was staying because she was on this roller coaster of newfound emotions and she had no clue how to stop the ride...or even if she wanted to stop it.
As crazy as it sounded, Noah had reawakened something deep inside her. For two years she’d focused on throwing herself into work, the group, school. But now maybe she just wanted to be selfish and see what happened.
“I’m staying,” Lucy replied as she smiled back to Emma.
The little girl bounced up and down, sending her blond curls dancing around her shoulders. “Yay. I’ll have Mr. Bear sit on my lap and you can have his chair.”
She scurried off just as fast as she’d entered and Noah shook his head. “You should feel honored. I’ve never had Mr. Bear’s seat.”
Lucy slid out of her jacket and hung it on the hook by the door. She completely ignored the fact it was nestled between a tiny pink-and-white polka-dot coat and a large black woolen one. Well, she tried to anyway.
She was seeing a whole new side to Noah she hadn’t even known existed, but she liked it. The idea that he was a single father really helped Lucy understand why he’d been so reserved. The man had lost his wife and was protecting all the life he had left.
She could spend all day analyzing this situation from his angle, from hers, but right now she was going to enjoy the moment. She’d have time to analyze it later.
* * *
What the hell was he thinking? He should never have let Lucy inside his home. Granted he’d only been here a couple weeks, but this was his home now. Having Lucy here botched up his plans to keep his life simple and his heart guarded.
But damn, that scone was something else. He hadn’t had something that delicious and homemade in...well, ever. His wife hadn’t been much of a cook, but that never bothered him. They mostly lived off the ranch anyway, between the livestock and the fields. Noah had cooked, too, taking pity on Cara who panicked at the sight of a recipe or the thought of a casserole.
This new lifestyle was taking some serious getting used to. Between the cooler weather, the free time he had from not ranching, and acclimating to the new force, his entire world had been reshaped. But he was grateful he had a job, a home, and his daughter. They’d make it because he was determined to give her the best life possible, considering the circumstances.
“Want to see my room?” Emma asked Lucy.
Without waiting for a reply, Emma hopped up from her little chair and grabbed Lucy’s hand.
“Calm down, Em.” Noah finished clearing the tea set from the table. “Maybe Lucy has somewhere else to be. She hadn’t exactly planned on staying here today.”
Lucy held Emma’s hand and stood. “I’d love to see your room.”
“My daddy painted it just like I wanted,” Emma chattered as she led Lucy away. “And then he put up this sparkly light and...”
Her voice trailed away and Noah glanced to the clock. It was almost time for him to lie down and get a few hours’ sleep before going into work later tonight. The realtor had suggested a fabulous babysitter that lived only two doors down: a retired lady who was known as the town grandma and had babysat for years. Having someone dependable and trustworthy made this entire process much less stressful. Each little layer of his new life that fell into place where he needed eased his worry.
Noah wondered if he’d see Lucy at work, but then quickly pushed the thought aside. She’d been here for over an hour and if he was already looking forward to seeing her again, then he was falling down that rabbit hole he never wanted to be near again.
He wasn’t ready to move on. Cara had been gone only six months. Shouldn’t he wait longer before allowing that desire to creep in? Not that he’d let this happen. He looked at Lucy and...well, his thoughts, emotions and feelings had slipped from his control.
Noah rinsed out the tea set and put it away. Tea parties were a thing his wife had started with Emma and he’d wanted to keep some sense of normalcy in her life. As soon as they hit town, he took her shopping for a new tea set and they’d had a party every single day since. He didn’t mind dressing up so long as it put a smile on Emma’s face.
When they were gone a lengthy amount of time, Noah figured he’d better go save Lucy because Emma hadn’t been around a woman, minus the sitter, since her mother passed. She was most likely craving that connection. Both of Cara’s parents were gone and so was Noah’s mother...he’d never known his father.
Noah reached the doorway and found Emma and Lucy on the widow seat. Emma had already draped necklaces and headbands on Lucy.
“Oh, honey. Maybe Lucy didn’t want to be covered in accessories.”
Lucy picked up another hair ribbon. “Actually, it’s been a long time since someone pampered me. I was rather enjoying myself.”
The sight of Emma with another young woman, and not his late wife, did something to him. Something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. On one hand, there was that ever-pressing remorse he carried. The guilt of getting on with his life. The guilt of not having been able to save his wife.
He’d been a police officer back in Texas as well and had saved others, but ultimately he hadn’t been able to save his own wife. He’d spoken to her after the storm and she’d assured him she was fine, but he should have—
He stopped himself. The blame would never end.
On the other hand, he knew his wife would’ve wanted him to move on, to live for their daughter. She wouldn’t like that he was feeling guilt, because that emotion robbed his happiness.
“I hate to break up this party, but it’s time for you to go to Miss Mary’s house.”
Emma protested with a whine, but Lucy placed a hand on her knee. “It’s okay. Maybe we can have another playdate.”
“Really?” Emma asked, suddenly in a better mood.
Lucy glanced to Noah. “If your dad doesn’t mind.”
Noah weighed the options. He didn’t want to let this get too routine because Emma would likely get attached. He had to watch out for her, but on the other hand, it was nice to see his daughter open up and want to play and be with another young woman.
He couldn’t lie—seeing them together put his guard up. He wasn’t looking for a replacement for his wife or mother for his child. At this point, he wasn’t looking for anything because he was still trying to figure out this new life.
A mix of emotions swirled through him. He was attracted to Lucy and he had to assume that was normal, but that didn’t mean he felt good about it. It didn’t mean it was right to happen at this particular moment.
“I’m pretty busy, though.” Lucy glanced to Noah and back to Emma. “I’ll talk to your dad later at work and we’ll see. Okay?”
Lucy took off all of her play jewelry and hair accessories. After laying them on the window seat, she bent down to Emma.
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