Regency Surrender: Rebellious Debutantes: Lord Havelock's List / Portrait of a Scandal

‘Not at all,’ said Aunt Pargetter, ushering him into her husband’s study. ‘We aren’t legally Mary’s guardians, you know. She is free to make her own choices.’

‘Nevertheless...’

And then the study door closed on whatever he’d been about to say, leaving Mary on the wrong side of it.

Free to make her own choices! If only that were true.

And then Dotty and Lotty were shooing her into the front parlour and divesting her of her coat.

‘She’s in a complete daze,’ said Dotty, untying the ribbons of her bonnet.

‘No wonder,’ said Lotty, pushing her into a chair. ‘His lordship swept her completely off her feet.’

‘No, he didn’t, it was the opposite. He stopped her slipping over,’ quipped Dotty with a giggle. ‘Got his arm round her waist and held her so tight she couldn’t possibly have lost her footing.’

‘Oh, I’ve never seen anything so romantic.’

‘Romantic? No! I...’

‘Oh, but it was,’ sighed Dotty, pressing her hands to her heart and flinging herself backwards on to the sofa as though in a swoon.

‘Aren’t you cross with me? Why aren’t you cross with me? When the whole purpose of going skating at all was to try and...and... Well, you were both trying so hard to attract Mr Morgan....’

Who was nowhere in sight, she suddenly realised. The moment they’d gone into the house, he’d slipped away, unnoticed in all the excitement.

‘Oh, that’s so sweet,’ said Lotty. ‘And so like you, to think of us, rather than yourself.’

Dotty bounced off the sofa, and flung her arms round her neck. ‘You mustn’t feel bad because you got a proposal, today, and not us. And as for Mr Morgan...’ She made an airy gesture with one hand. ‘When a man as wealthy as that, and single, comes your way you simply have to make a push to get him interested. But it’s not as if either of us developed a tendre for him, did we, Lotty?’

Lotty shook her head so hard her ringlets bounced.

‘Yes, but...’ As she floundered to a halt against the impenetrable barrier of her own behaviour, Lotty and Dotty both collapsed in giggles again.

And then they heard the front door slam, and Aunt Pargetter came in, beaming all over her face.

‘Mary, I’m so proud of you,’ she said, enveloping her in a lavender-scented hug.

‘No...you shouldn’t be. I didn’t mean to...’

‘Well, I dare say that is what won him round. You are so very...modest. And...and, oh, everything a lady ought to be, I’m sure. A viscountess,’ she exclaimed, sinking on to the sofa next to Dotty, gazing at her with starry eyes. ‘You will be presented at court...’

The girls both squealed with an excitement that passed Mary by completely.

‘And you will go to all the most tonnish events.’

‘But...’ Mary attempted to protest.

‘And then,’ she carried on, regardless, ‘once you are established, you will be able to invite all those tonnish people to parties you throw.’

Mary blinked, completely unable to envision herself ever throwing any kind of party.

‘And I just know you are too kind-hearted to forget my girls. This will be a foot in the door to a world they’d had no hope of entering otherwise. And with both of them being so pretty—no offence to you, my dear, but if you managed to land yourself a viscount, without even trying, only think what my girls could accomplish. I shouldn’t wonder at it if this means an earl, or perhaps even a marquis....’

No wonder they’d let Mr Morgan escape without a twinge of regret. The girls now had visions of getting themselves a title apiece.

‘Aunt Pargetter, please! You don’t understand. I never actually wanted to get married. I thought I would...find work as a housekeeper, or a governess, or something....’

‘Well, that is because you lived in such an out-of-the-way spot, and didn’t have any prospects,’ said her aunt complacently.

‘And she feels a touch guilty,’ explained Dotty. ‘For stealing a march on us.’

‘Oh, we don’t begrudge you your good fortune,’ said her aunt kindly.

‘No, but...’

‘Well, I can see this sudden reversal in your prospects has overwhelmed you,’ she said, tilting her head to one side. ‘And no wonder, if all you ever hoped for was to obtain some menial position. A good strong cup of tea is what you need.’ She flicked her hand to Lotty, who went to the fireplace and pulled the bell to summon the maid.

‘And you are so shy,’ she added with a knowing nod, ‘that having such a very...masculine man as Lord Havelock positively...bowl you over...’

‘Yes, he did, Mama. He kissed her quite passionately.’

‘Twice!’

Oh, if only the chair cushions would open up and swallow her whole.

‘Oh,’ said her aunt with a sympathetic look as Mary’s face heated to what felt like boiling point. ‘I see what this is. But, my dear,’ she said, reaching across to pat her hand, ‘Lord Havelock must be very taken with you, to propose so quickly. You know, I saw there was something, that very first night at the Crimmers’. Why, he started at the sight of you as though...as though his ship had come in, as you would probably say. It is clearly a case of love at first sight.’

As though that made it all right.

Except that it was most definitely not love at first sight. The things he’d said made that crystal clear. Like, going their separate ways, for instance. And being glad she was no more keen to marry than he was. Immediately after he’d proposed.

She shook her head in complete frustration. There was no way she was going to be able to get Aunt Pargetter to understand her reluctance to marry. Or the girls, not now their heads were full of eligible titled men.

There was only one thing for it. She would have to tell Lord Havelock, to his face, that she couldn’t go through with it.

And then—she glanced at the happy, glowing faces of her aunt and cousins—she’d have to endure their disappointment.

* * *

Lord Havelock was coming to call on Mary the very next day, Aunt Pargetter informed her husband over dinner that night. To talk about arrangements.

So Mary had all night to marshal her arguments. And the longer she thought, the more convinced she became that he wouldn’t be all that bothered to have it all come to nothing. Hadn’t he said he was no keener to get married than she was? He’d probably just thought he had to propose, after kissing her in such a public place. Especially as she’d made it crystal clear she wouldn’t be his mistress.

It was the only reason that could possibly account for it.

Satisfied she’d reached the nub of the matter, and that Lord Havelock would be positively grateful when she let him off the hook, Mary finally drifted off to sleep. And if a few tears leaked from under her tightly closed eyelids, they were only a symptom of the extreme stress she’d been under all day. She was relieved, truly she was. And quite calm, now that the terrifying prospect of being shoehorned into a marriage she really, really didn’t want was over.

* * *

It was strange, therefore, that the next morning she felt as though her limbs were weighted with lead.

It was worry, that was what was making it so hard to dress, or eat breakfast. Worry that she might not be able to persuade her aunt to let her have a few moments alone with Lord Havelock. The fear she might have to continue with the charade one moment longer.

So why did her heart sink still further when Lord Havelock was the one to ask if he could have some private speech with her? He was giving her the very opportunity she sought, to speak freely.

‘Won’t you sit down?’ It was the only thing Mary could think of to say. She’d never been on her own in a room with a man and this one seemed to fill it with his presence. It wasn’t as if he was particularly tall, but he was so full of energy. She could still feel the strength of him as he’d guided her round the ice the day before, his arm effortlessly pinning her to his side. How immovable he’d been when she’d tried to push him away after the kiss.

The kiss. She shouldn’t have thought about the kiss. It made every single inch of her feel far too...feminine.

He took a seat as close to hers as he could find, which didn’t help. Now he could reach out and take her hand, if he wanted. Or she could reach out and take his.

Not that she wanted to. Absolutely not!

‘Thank you for agreeing to speak with me alone,’ he said. ‘I know it is a little unconventional, but there are things we do need to talk about.’

‘Yes, there are,’ she agreed. ‘I understand that you felt obliged to make me an offer of marriage, yesterday, after kissing me.’ She couldn’t look at his face. Not with his mouth right there, close enough that if she leaned forward, and he leaned forward, just the tiniest bit, they could be kissing again. She looked hard at her hands instead, which she was clasping tightly on her lap. ‘And I’m also aware that you do not truly wish to marry me. And so I release you—’

‘You jolly well don’t!’ He leapt to his feet again. ‘No wriggling out of this. You gave me your word....’

‘Actually, I didn’t. You said a lot of things, and everyone congratulated us, but I never, not once, said I would marry you.’

‘Well, you are going to marry me and that’s that.’

‘No.’ She got to her feet, as well. She wasn’t going to risk backing down simply because she felt intimidated with him looming over her like that. ‘It is better to end this engagement now than to take a step we will both regret for the rest of our lives.’

She’d seen, at close quarters, just how miserable two people could become when bound together by chains of matrimony that neither of them wished for any longer.

‘Our engagement will only end one way,’ he growled, jabbing his forefinger at her. ‘In marriage.’

She flinched at the first physical expression of his anger, but held her ground.

‘I’ve already purchased the licence,’ he rapped out. ‘And spoken to your uncle, and taken a light-fingered guttersnipe into my employ all on your account. We. Are. Getting. Married.’

As the volume of his voice increased, the memories of raised voices that led to clenched fists, and thence to bruised ribs, made her recall how dangerous it was to be some man’s wife, some man’s property to deal with as he saw fit. And she began to tremble.

‘If this is an indication of the way you mean to go on, whenever your will is crossed, then...’

His eyes widened. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

‘I didn’t mean to scare you. Please...’ he waved a hand at the chair ‘...sit down again and I will try to talk this over calmly.’

‘Only if you sit down, too.’

He frowned, then nodded.

Gingerly, she sat in the chair he’d indicated and he sat down, too.

‘Look, Miss Carpenter. I have a terrible, hasty temper. Bane of my life, actually, but I do try not to let it govern my actions, the way it once did. I am sorry I let it get the better of me this morning. Ungentlemanly of me.’ He lowered his head for an instant, the picture of contrition, before lifting it, looking directly into her eyes, and saying, ‘Do you think you could find it in your heart to forgive my...outburst and start this interview again?’

She could hardly believe it. He didn’t appear to believe, the way her father had, that it was his God-given right to harangue a female, when he had her behind closed doors. On the contrary, he’d said it was ‘ungentlemanly’ behaviour. And had asked her to forgive him.

How could she do anything but forgive him? When she nodded, mutely, he heaved a sigh of relief.

‘Thank you. It is just that...this means so much to me. And I was so certain you felt the same way I did. That the fact you were a touch reluctant to get married would make us...allies. Then the cool way you talked about pulling the rug from under my feet just made me—’ He broke off, shaking his head as though he didn’t have the words to describe what he felt.

She felt every bit as confused as he looked.

‘But if you don’t truly want to get married, then...’

He heaved another sigh and ran his fingers through his unruly curls again.

‘I don’t truly want to get married, no,’ he admitted. ‘But I cannot see any other way out. But it’s not because I’m in debt, or anything of that nature. My trustees have done a sterling job of managing my capital, up till now. Of course the trust will wind up when I get married,’ he said gloomily. ‘So I’m going to have to learn all that side of things myself now.’

‘And you don’t want to.’

He shrugged. ‘In some ways it will be good to take up the reins myself instead of letting others drive the team. But I’m going to be far busier with that sort of thing than I’d like.’ He slouched back into his seat, his expression mulish.

‘Well, then, why? If it isn’t money? And you aren’t really ready to...take up the reins...’ And it certainly wasn’t because he’d fallen in love with her. There was nothing lover-like in the way he’d reacted to her rejection. Besides, men only fell for beautiful girls.

‘I suppose I should blame Ashe for suggesting I court a girl with brains,’ he said cryptically. ‘You aren’t going to be fobbed off with the usual nonsense, are you?’

‘Nonsense?’

He tilted his head to one side and made a wry attempt at a smile.

‘Nothing of nonsense about you at all, is there? Very well,’ he said, leaning forward and clasping his hands between his knees. ‘I will take you into my confidence. I hadn’t meant to until after we were married, but I can see you’re unlikely to marry me at all unless I give you a very good reason for me acting in a way that must make you think I’ve taken leave of my senses. I have a sister, you see.’

She didn’t see, but before she could say so he leapt to his feet and, clearly in some agitation, paced away from her. ‘Or, to be more precise, a half-sister.’ He had to stop when he got to the window, but instead of turning round, he stayed just where he was, his shoulders hunched, and started fiddling with the curtain tie-backs.

‘My mother died when I was eight, as I told you before, and then my father remarried pretty swiftly. Before another year was out, she presented him with a daughter. The marriage lasted a few more years before he died. And then my stepmother—’ He started in surprise as an ornamental tassel came off in his hand. He laid it down on the windowsill and, taking a step back from further temptation, turned towards Mary and kept his eyes fixed firmly on her as he took up his tale again.

‘My stepmother remarried. She...she was only the daughter of our village grocer. But she was beautiful. Her parents, I found out some years later, were so thrilled to have her elevated to the ranks of the peerage, that they pushed her into accepting my father’s proposal. She tried to make the best of it, but she was never very happy with him. Anyway, the minute Father died, she took up with the man she’d loved all along. A pretty decent fellow, actually. At least, he was good to me. Paid me more attention than my own father ever had, to tell you the truth, but that’s beside the point. He was a nobody, that’s what my own father’s family said. And they were correct. He hadn’t a title. Little money. No land, nothing of that sort, but...’

He turned and paced up and down, raking his fingers through his curls yet again.

‘It’s all such a tangle it’s hard to know how to explain it. You see, my legal guardians didn’t actually want me to live with them, but they didn’t want me contaminated by the man they called a commoner, either. So they sent me away to school. But you know what? My stepmother, my half-sister and her new stepfather were the only ones to show a real interest in me. Their letters kept me from... Well, school can be a pretty harsh sort of place. I got through because I knew how to defend myself. Thanks to the very man my guardians said I shouldn’t go near. He taught me to box.’ He glanced down at his fists, which he’d clenched the moment he’d mentioned his school.

‘It was to his home I went during school vacations. With him, and my stepmother and Julia I felt I had the nearest thing to a home. I was...very cut up when he died. And for his sake, I kept in contact with his sons. The sons my half-sister’s mother bore him.’

She blinked. He caught the bewildered expression in her eyes, at the end of one of his circuits of the room, and pulled a wry face.

‘I warned you my family ties are complicated. But that is only the start. You see, after he died, she—that is my stepmother—was left in slightly tricky circumstances. There was talk of taking Julia away from her and having her brought up by her father’s—my father’s family. Only she hadn’t been all that impressed by the way they’d treated me up to then. So when she got an offer of marriage from yet another titled man, she agreed, in an attempt to keep them all, Julia and her two sons, together as a family. Following it so far?’

‘Yes, I think so.’

‘Well, although financially she did well, she was even more miserable with her third husband than she was with my father. Died giving him his heir. And then...well, for the next few years it felt as though every long vacation I went back to a different marital home as either the husband or the wife died and remarried. It was like living through some bizarre form of farce, with a different infant squalling in a crib, being introduced to me as my new brother or sister, by an adult I was supposed to call Mother or Father.’

‘Hold on,’ said Mary. ‘Why were you calling all these strangers Mother? I don’t quite understand.’

‘Well, nobody really wanted to take on Julia’s brothers, because of who their father was.’

‘The decent, but common man.’

‘That’s him. But they all wanted to keep Julia under their wing, because she has a great deal of money settled on her, and whoever has wardship gets to control it. And wherever she went, I went, too. Because—well, I didn’t have anywhere else to call home. And by that time I’d gained a bit of a reputation for being a hellion. Not the trustees or any of my father’s extended family thought it worth the bother of attempting to discipline me, or cross my will. If I wanted to take myself off to the wilds of Wiltshire, or Yorkshire or Devon so I could be with my half-sister, they were only too glad to see the back of me.’

Mary’s heart went out to him, or rather, the abandoned, unloved little boy he’d been. No wonder he went a bit wild. No wonder he made a point of going where he truly was wanted. Where he would be loved.

‘I...I see....’

‘No, you don’t.’ He shook his head and grinned at her. ‘My family connections are so incredibly complicated that even I cannot keep track of all the people who claim kinship with me these days. Suffice it to say that Julia is the only one of them I give a rat’s a— I mean, care very much about.’

She ought to have been offended by the way he’d almost slipped into vulgarity. But she was beginning to find his very clumsiness of speech rather endearing. In a way, he was treating her with a unique form of respect by saying whatever came into his head, rather than trying to bamboozle her with glib speeches. As was the way he pulled himself up, without her having to so much as lift a brow in reproof, either.

‘Very well,’ she said. ‘Go on.’

‘Thank you.’ He sat down in the chair he’d used before, leaned his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands.

‘Now, the thing is, the woman who is currently standing in the place of Julia’s stepmother is about to get married again. And the man she’s marrying is...’ He scowled. ‘Well, put it this way. I wouldn’t want any innocent girl to have to live under the same roof as him. Julia’s fifteen now and pretty as a picture. And Lord... Perhaps I shouldn’t tell you his name.’ He frowned, rubbing his thumb across his nose. ‘Although, if people didn’t gossip about him, I never would have found out that he’s assuming nobody cares what becomes of Julia, given the way she’s been passed round like a parcel up till now.’

‘Oh, I see.’ Mary leaned forward, clasping her own hands. ‘By marrying, you are launching a rescue. You plan to provide a stable, safe environment for her to live in. That’s...’ she smiled at him a little mistily ‘...that is truly noble of you.’

He sat up straight again. ‘Is it? I hadn’t thought of it like that.’ He shook his head. ‘I just couldn’t think what else to do. I spent hours discussing Julia’s future with my lawyers, and hers. My first thought was to make an attempt to be declared her legal guardian. I’m pretty nearly old enough now, you see. But found out that would take too much time. Couldn’t very well drag her out of the house and take her back to live in my bachelor lodgings either, while the lawyers worked through all the red tape. It would look damned peculiar. Probably cause the very kind of talk I don’t want her exposed to. But if I got married, they said, and moved back to Mayfield, it would seem perfectly natural to invite her to live with us. Reunite the Durant family in the ancestral home, sort of thing.’

And if she didn’t marry him now, he’d have to abandon that plan. Start all over again trying to find someone else to become his convenient wife. For that was what he wanted, she finally saw. Just a woman to make his rescue of his sister appear respectable and above board.

Could she really let him down, this way, after he’d confided the delicacy of his sister’s plight to her? Could she let the girl, Julia, down, for that matter? She knew what it felt like to be all alone in the world, a burden to everyone, yet nobody’s responsibility. Though she’d never been in the kind of peril that faced Julia. She simply wasn’t pretty enough.

And then there were the Pargetters, who’d been so kind to her when she was just about at the end of her tether. They were banking on her to launch Dotty and Lotty into society. Give them the chance their beauty and vivacity deserved.

Could she trust him though, to keep his word? To grant her an allowance and treat her with respect?

From the way this interview had gone so far she thought, yes, perhaps she could.

And as for his temper, which seemed to flare out of nowhere—well, at least he regarded it as the bane of his life and tried to keep it in check.

And apologised when he couldn’t.

‘Very well,’ she said. ‘I will help you. Of course I will, now I understand what is at stake.’

‘Thank you.’ He heaved a sigh of relief. Reached across the small gap that divided them, took both her hands in his and gave them a little squeeze.

‘I have been at my wit’s end. I couldn’t tell anyone of my fears for her, in case it started the very kind of gossip that would be almost as bad as the fate I was afraid would await her if she ever got into Lord Wakefield’s clutches. Now we can nip any schemes he might have been hatching in the bud. But...you must understand, time is of the essence. I want a place made ready for her to come to, a place she can feel safe, before her current stepmother marries him.’

‘Which is why our wedding must take place so soon.’

‘That’s it. In fact, I was hoping we could get the knot tied tomorrow, then travel straight down to Mayfield and look the place over.’

‘Mayfield? Why, is there something wrong with it?’

‘I shouldn’t think so. But I do want to just make sure before I tell Julia she can move in. You see, when my father died, I was too young to live there alone, so, as I mentioned, my guardians packed me off to school and let the place out to tenants. Better than letting it stand empty, they reckoned, and renting it out paid for its upkeep.’

‘Oh, dear. Are you going to have to evict the current tenants? It’s so near to Christmas....’

‘And it may very well snow, too.’ He chuckled. ‘No, I’m not going to play the part of an evil landlord, don’t worry about that,’ he said, chucking her chin. ‘Fortunately, a couple of years ago, when it fell vacant, I told the letting agent I didn’t want them to find another tenant. Don’t need the money and have never liked the thought of strangers living there. Good country round about, too. Had some thoughts of doing a bit of entertaining, having some fellows down for the hunting, that sort of thing, though I never got round to it. And just as I told you before, the trustees never bother arguing when they can see I’ve made up my mind. For some reason, they stopped letting out Durant House, too.