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When he entered the sultan’s suite, Hafiz stood respectfully at the double doors and waited to be announced. As one of the secretaries hurried to the massive wooden desk to convey the message to the sultan, Hafiz grew aware of the sideway glances and growing tension. He coldly met the employees’ stares one by one until the gazes skittered down in belated respect.
Sultan Yusuf dismissed his secretaries with the flick of his hand. The men hurried past Hafiz and through the doors. Their expressions of grateful relief concerned him.
The sultan continued to sit behind his desk and read a note on thick white paper. He took his time to deign to acknowledge his son’s presence. “Hafiz,” Sultan Yusuf finally said.
Hafiz approached the sultan. “Your Majesty.” Hafiz gave the briefest deferential nod as defiance flowed through his veins.
The sultan tossed the paper on to his desk. “Be seated.”
The lack of mind games made Hafiz suspicious, which it was probably supposed to achieve. Hafiz sat down on the chair across from the desk. Tradition dictated that he should keep his head down and his gaze averted. He was never good at tradition.
The sultan leaned back in his chair, steepled his fingers, and studied Hafiz. Not even a whisper of affection crossed his lined face. “You are very fortunate that the Abdullah daughter agreed to the marriage.”
Fortune had nothing to do with it. It didn’t matter who his bride was. He was marrying this woman for two reasons. It was his royal duty and it was another step toward redemption.
“This girl knows about your—” the king’s fingers splayed apart “—misspent youth, as does her family.”
Hafiz clenched his teeth and willed his hands to stay straight on his knees. He would not respond. He would not allow his father to spike his temper.
“They will use that knowledge to their advantage as the wedding preparations draw closer. The dowry is not nearly worthy enough for a prince. We’re fortunate they didn’t demand a bridal price.”
Hafiz still said nothing. His teeth felt as if they would splinter. His fingers itched to curl and dig into his knees.
“Have you anything to say, Hafiz?”
He did, but most of it wasn’t wise to say aloud. “I regret that my past mistakes still cost our family.” And his regret was as honest as it was strong. Nothing could erase the suffering he’d caused Rudaynah. The simple truth destroyed him, and his life’s mission was to prevent any future suffering from his hand.
“As do I.” Sultan Yusuf sighed heavily. “The reason I’m telling you this is that I expect many maneuvers from the Abdullah family.” He smacked his lips with distaste as he mentioned his future in-laws. “Any male relative could trick you. Talk you down the dowry. Say you made a promise or agreement when there was none.”
Annoyance welled up inside Hafiz’s chest. From years of practice, his expression didn’t show his feelings. Hafiz negotiated multi-million-dollar deals, brokered delicate international agreements and increased the wealth of this country ten times over. But his family didn’t respect his accomplishments. They only remembered his mistakes.
“You will have no interaction with the Abdullah family,” the sultan commanded. “All inquiries must be directed to my office. Do you understand, Hafiz?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.” He didn’t have a problem following that order. If that was the purpose of the meeting, Hafiz wondered why the sultan didn’t dictate a memo so he didn’t have to speak to his son.
“After all,” the ruler continued, “your mother and I cannot afford another scandal from you.”
Hafiz closed his eyes as the pain washed over him. He should have seen that coming.
“This marriage must happen.” The sultan tapped an authoritative finger on the desk. The thud echoed loudly in Hafiz’s head. “If the engagement is broken, it will shame this family.”
Shaming the family was his sole specialty. The statement was left unspoken, but Hafiz could hear it plainly in his father’s manner. It wasn’t anything his conscience hadn’t shouted for more years than he cared to remember.
“You’ve already lost your right to the throne because of your poor choices,” Sultan Yusuf said with brutal frankness. “If you harm this agreement, I will make certain you lose everything you hold dear.”
Did his father think he would try to sabotage the wedding agreement? Hafiz was stunned at the possibility. Hadn’t his actions proven he would sacrifice his personal wants for the good of the country?
“But, if you do not cause any delay or scandal—” he paused and sliced a knowing look “—I will give you the one thing you desire.”
Hafiz flinched. His mind immediately went to Lacey. A white-hot panic blinded him. Did the sultan know about her?
“Marry the bride I choose, and you will resume your rightful place. You will become the heir to the throne once again.”
* * *
Lacey’s fingers dragged against the ivory keys of her piano, but she didn’t play a note. She couldn’t. The music inside her had been silenced.
Glenn and Annette had retired hours ago, but she couldn’t sleep no matter how hard she tried. Her body felt limp and wrung out, and her mind craved for oblivion.
What was it about her? Why was she so easy to discard? First her parents and now Hafiz. She didn’t understand it.
Lacey always held on to the belief that she would have bonded with her parents if they had taken her on the road with them. They would have remembered her birthdays and special occasions. They wouldn’t have forgotten her all those times or accidentally left her to fend for herself on school vacations. If they hadn’t sent her off to live with distant relatives or family friends, she would have some sort of relationship today with her mother and father.
But now she knew her parents didn’t get the full blame. There was something wrong with her. It didn’t matter how freely and completely she gave her love; she would not get it in return. She was unlovable.
Lacey stood and walked to the balcony doors and peered outside. No lights glowed against the darkness. Outside appeared silent and empty.
If only her mind would quiet down like the town below her. She leaned her head against the glass pane that was now cool from the desert night. The moment Hafiz had left, fragmented thoughts and fears had bombarded her mind. She’d paced her room as unspoken questions whirled through her head. She’d stared numbly at the walls for hours.
No matter how much the housekeeper had tried to tempt her with food, Lacey refused to eat. Her throat, swollen and achy from crying, would surely choke on the smallest morsel. Sustenance meant nothing and she had curled up on Hafiz’s side of the bed. There she had muffled her cries in his pillow when one more minute of living without him became unbearable.
Her mind felt as chaotic as the clothes jumbled inside her suitcase. She packed her belongings, which were pathetically few. It was a mocking symbol of the emptiness of her life before she’d met Hafiz and her barren future without him. Only now she had even less, because she was leaving everything behind along with her heart.
Lacey frowned, trying to hold her emotions together. There were too many things she had to do, like finding a new home.
Lacey pressed the heels of her hands against her puffy eyes. The business of breaking up was beyond her. She needed a fresh start. Somewhere that held no memories. A place where Hafiz couldn’t find her.
Not that he would follow her across the world. He’d made his choice. And it wasn’t her. It was never going to be her.
She didn’t want to know anything about the woman who got to share Hafiz’s life. The one who would wear his ring, bear his name and carry his children in her womb. Lacey blinked as her eyes stung, but she’d already used up her tears.
Lacey twisted around when she heard the key in the lock. Hope stuttered through her exhausted body as Hafiz entered. He halted when he saw her across the room.
“Hafiz.” She instinctively moved toward him like a moth to a flame. “What are you doing here?”
She stared at him, memorizing every detail. He was dressed like a laborer. While the outfit was an unusual choice for a member of the royal family, Hafiz lent a sophisticated elegance to the rough work clothes.
The simple tunic was as black as his short hair. The cotton sluiced down his muscular chest and skimmed past his knees. His jeans strained against his powerful legs as he slid his feet out of scuffed sandals. His high-tech watch was nowhere to be found, but the royal ring gleamed proudly on his hand.
“I wasn’t sure you would be here.” His hands clenched and unclenched the keys.
Lacey guiltily flashed a look in the direction of the bedroom where her bags were packed and stowed away under the bed. “And you’re checking up on me?” she asked as her eyebrows arched with disbelief. “You could have called.”
“No. I came here to say goodbye.” He set down the key with hypnotic slowness. “Tonight.”
She froze as the words pummeled her bruised heart. Tonight? Her chest heaved, and she struggled for her next breath. “Now?”
Hafiz nodded. “I had a meeting with the sultan earlier this evening.” He stared at the keys as though he wanted to snatch them back. “If any of my actions prevent the forthcoming marriage, I will lose everything.”
“Your father threatened you?” she whispered in horror.
“The sultan warned me,” he corrected. “And I can’t help but wonder if he knows about you. Maybe not your name or where you live, but that I have someone like you in my life.”
Someone like you... The phrase scratched at her. What did that mean? More importantly, what did it mean to Hafiz?
She stood in front of him, and placed her hand on his arm, offering him comfort. Not that he needed it. Hafiz had the strength to stand alone. “You shouldn’t be forced to marry someone you don’t love.”
Her words seemed to startle him. “Lacey,” Hafiz said in a groan as he cupped her cheek with his hand. “A royal marriage never has anything to do with love. It has always been that way.”
She closed her eyes as she leaned into his hand, knowing it would be the last time he would caress her. She gathered the last of her self-discipline and withdrew from his touch. Energy arced and flared between them.
“I will miss you, Hafiz,” she said brokenly as her throat closed up. The tears she thought couldn’t happen beaded on her eyelashes.
Hafiz let out a shuddering breath. He swept his fingertip against the corner of her eye, taking her tears with him. The moisture clung to his knuckle, and he rubbed it into his skin with his thumb, silently sharing her agony.
The image took a chink out of her hard-earned resolve. Lacey wrapped her arms around her stomach before she crumbled altogether. “I had so many questions to ask you, and now I can’t remember what they were.” All except for one that danced on her tongue. “Did you ever love me?”
Silence throbbed in the air.
Lacey blinked at the question that had tumbled from her mouth. Of all the things to ask, her mind screamed.
Hafiz went unnaturally still.
“I don’t know why I asked.” She shrugged as her pain intensified. “Please, don’t answer that.”
The words were ripped from deep within her. She desperately wanted to know the answer. She never questioned it before, but she had been living in a fantasy.
Lacey had always felt Hafiz loved her. It was in his touch, in his eyes, and in his smile. But he never said the words, even when she chanted her declaration of love in the height of ecstasy.
It was too late to find out. If he didn’t love her, she would never recover. If he did love her, then she would never let go. Even if he was married, even if he kept her hidden. And she couldn’t let that happen.
Hafiz frowned. “Lacey...”
“Ssh.” She silenced him by pressing her fingers against his parted lips. “Please.”
He covered her hand with his and placed soft kisses in the heart of her palm. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said against her skin.
“Then, come away with me!” She impulsively tangled her fingers with his and pulled him away from the door. His torn expression shamed her. She drew back and let go of his hand. “I’m sorry. That was wrong.”
He moved swiftly and crushed her against him. “I can’t leave Rudaynah,” he whispered, his breath ruffling her hair. “And you can’t stay. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I’m only half alive when you are not around.”
He didn’t want to give her up, but he had the strength to do it when she wanted to ignore the inevitable. Hafiz would flourish without her while she wilted into a slow death. “In time, you’ll forget all about me.”
He tightened their embrace. “How can you say that?”
“You will,” she predicted with a sigh. It happened to her before, and nothing she did would stop it from happening again. “You need to leave.” Now, before it became impossible. Before she threw herself at his feet and begged him to stay.
“Yes.” He gradually relaxed his hold but didn’t let go. “This was already a risk.”
She looked up into his face. The scent of the desert night clung to his warm skin. The steady and strong beat of his heart pounded under her hand. The passion he felt for her shone in his eyes. This was how she wanted to remember him. “Goodbye, Hafiz.”
He lowered his face and gently brushed his mouth against hers. Like Lacey, he kept his eyes open, needing to commit this last kiss to memory. The unshed tears in her eyes blurred his image. Lacey’s lips clung to his. The craving to deepen the kiss radiated between them. She felt his need to carry her away and the struggle to leave her behind.
“I have to go,” he murmured against her mouth.
“I know.” The world tilted as he withdrew, and his arms dropped away from her. She felt exposed and weak. A single tear spilled down her cheek. “I wish...” She stopped and bit her lip.
“You wish what?” When she didn’t answer, he grabbed her upper arms with his large hands. “Tell me,” he pleaded, his fingers biting into her flesh.
“No.” She shook her head. She had to be strong and ignore her wants. For both of them. “I wish you...happiness.”
Hafiz shook her slightly until tendrils of her hair fell in front of her face. “That was not what you were going to say. Don’t end this on a lie,” he ordered, agony threading his voice. “Don’t leave me with a half-spoken wish, so that I will go mad trying to figure out what you wanted to say.”
Lacey looked away. She’d ruined the moment, all because she couldn’t let him go. “I can’t.”
“Tell me what you wish,” he said against her ear, teasing her willpower with his husky voice full of promise. “I will make it come true if it’s in my power.”
“I wish we...” She swallowed. Damn her weakness! “I wish we had at least one more night.”
She saw the gleam in Hafiz’s bronze eyes. Her request unleashed something dark and primitive inside him. He wanted to claim her, possess her so completely that she would never forget him. As if she could.
“I can grant you that wish,” he promised as his features sharpened with lust. “Tonight.”
“No.” Lacey shook her head. They had to stop now. If she went to bed with him tonight, she would do everything in her power to keep him there. “We can’t. You are an engaged man. The sultan has warned you—”
“This is my wish, too.” He gathered her close and lifted her in his arms before he strode to the bedroom. “Don’t deny me one more night.”
CHAPTER FOUR
LACEY CLUNG TO HAFIZ as they entered her bedroom. The bedside lamp offered a faint glow in the large room, casting shadows on the unmade bed. Hafiz barely broke his stride when he kicked the door shut.
She wasn’t sure why he wasn’t rushing to the bed. Lacey felt the urgency pulsating between them. This was the last time they would be together. They had to get a lifetime into one night.
The unfairness of it all hit Lacey, and she tried to push it away. She didn’t want to focus on that. She wasn’t going to waste her last moments with Hafiz on something she couldn’t control.
The only thing she could do was make one beautiful and lasting memory. Have something that could ease the pain when she thought about the love she lost.
Hafiz stood by the edge of the bed, and Lacey knelt on the mattress before him. She pressed her hands against his cheeks and looked deep into his eyes.
She bit the inside of her lip to prevent from speaking when she saw Hafiz’s sadness. It wasn’t like him to show it, but the emotion was too strong; he couldn’t contain it. Lacey closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest. She wanted to ease his pain. Take it away from him.
She was hurting, too. It hurt knowing that after tonight she wouldn’t see him, and she couldn’t touch him. She wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near him.
Her shaky breath echoed in the room.
“Lacey?” Hafiz’s voice was tender as he smoothed his hand against the crown of her head.
She tilted her face up and sought his mouth. She poured everything she felt into the kiss. She held nothing back. The pain and the anger. The love and the unfulfilled dreams.
The heat between them wasn’t a slow burn. It flared hot and wild. Lacey sensed the dangerous power behind it, but this time she didn’t care. In the past they danced around it, knowing it could rage out of control. This time she welcomed it. Encouraged it.
Hafiz bunched her caftan in his fists. She knew it was a silent warning. He needed to leash his sexual hunger, or it could become destructive.
She didn’t think that was possible. There was nothing left to destroy. She wanted to climb the heights with Hafiz and disregard the possibility of plunging into the depths.
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