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No surprise, he remained a chick magnet. There was something irresistible about a man so not interested in becoming attached.
On second thought, he never said he wasn’t attached. She squirmed on the hard plastic seat. Only that he wasn’t married.
A line of women floated past Ryan at the drink dispensary. If he wasn’t already attached, it wasn’t from lack of trying on the part of the Shore’s female residents.
Carrying the tray, he sank into the seat opposite Anna. “Sorry it took so long.”
She pursed her lips. “The plight of a handsome heartthrob.”
He set the tray down. “What?”
Whether he was truly unattached or not really didn’t fall into the “just friends” category. But the itch to know wouldn’t leave her.
She reached for her milkshake. Babies needed dairy, right? “I find it hard to believe you haven’t been taken off the market by a girlfriend.” She bit into a french fry.
His blue eyes dropped to half-mast. “Actually, I was engaged when Dad got sick.”
The fry lodged in her throat. She choked. He thrust his water cup at her.
She took a quick gulp. A fiancée? Why had no one mentioned that detail over the years?
“Thanks.” She pushed away the fries, her appetite gone. “Was engaged?”
“I thought I was in love.” He looked away. “I believed she was in love with me. I was wrong on both counts.”
Someone hurt him. Badly. “What happened?”
His jaw tightened. “Karen was a research analyst at the same pharmaceutical company. When Dad got sick, I came home.” He combed his hand through the short hair on the nape of his neck. “Karen broke things off. She couldn’t envision herself living in this, and I quote, ‘beachside backwater.’”
Anna placed her hand over his on the table. “And after you sacrificed so much, you lost her, too.”
“I’m no hero, Anna.” He shook his head. “I was bitter for a long time. But stripped of everything I’d pursued so relentlessly, I rediscovered God. Dad’s death hit us hard. I needed to be there for the family so I took the only job for which I was remotely qualified. Teaching on a then-provisional license.”
She suspected he was adept at hiding his pain. “I’m sorry you had to give up your dream.”
He shrugged. “With an educator for a mother, maybe a teaching gene has always been part of my DNA.”
“Spoken like the scientist you are.” His hand felt warm and strong against hers. “Based on that theory, I should either be a nurse or a deputy sheriff.”
At the same moment, they both seemed to realize they were still touching. He withdrew his hand, and she dropped hers into her lap.
He handed her a wrapped burger. “You still faint at the sight of blood, Anna Banana?” The corners of his mouth curved. “Leastways, Charlie followed in your dad’s footsteps.”
“Like you followed in your mom’s.”
He toyed with the burger. “Only till Christmas.”
Anna’s stomach knotted. “I don’t understand.”
He crossed his arms. “This isn’t for public consumption. The family and Principal Carden know, but no one else.”
She swallowed. “Know what?”
“I’m leaving for my old pharmaceutical job in North Carolina after Christmas.”
“What about your family?” Her voice hitched. “What about your class? Our after-school group?” What about me? she wanted to ask but didn’t.
“Mom and the rest of the family are finally ready to move on with their lives. Mr. Carden has already found a teacher for my class.” He made a wry grimace. “Turns out I’m easily replaced.”
“I don’t think your fifth graders, Maria, Oscar or Zander would agree.”
“They’ll like the guy who’s taking my place. He has more experience working with at-risk kids, too.”
But no matter how great the new teacher proved to be, he’d never be Ryan.
“Sounds like you’ve thought of everything.”
He nodded. “It’s a done deal. It will be good to get back to the lab where I belong.”
Disappointment swelled within Anna.
His face became animated as he told her about the exciting research team he’d be joining. “The drug we’re developing has the potential to change the lives of thousands of people.”
She couldn’t believe he was leaving just when she’d come back. Their lives had always been at cross-purposes. She should be happy for him. It was obviously what he’d worked so hard to achieve.
“I’m happy for you, Ryan.” Maybe saying it would make it so. But she didn’t feel any better. She’d probably have to say it a dozen more times to make it real.
He ran his hand over his head, a sign of uncertainty with him. “Now that the business is stable, there’s nothing else to keep me here.” An expression she couldn’t decipher crisscrossed his face. “Is there?”
She laced her fingers together in her lap. “I guess some things don’t change. Like the difference between you and me.”
He tilted his head. “What difference?”
“When I left for college, I didn’t dream I’d be gone fourteen years.” She rested her hand on her abdomen. “I never planned or wanted to live anywhere else.”
He met her gaze head-on. “Whereas I always wanted to leave.”
“I remember.” Her voice softened. “And you can’t wait to leave again.”
“How much of the world did you see before Mateo—?” He scrubbed his hand over his beard stubble. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay to talk about Mateo, Ryan. I won’t fall apart. Restationed every few years, we managed to see a lot of the United States.” She placed her palms flat on either side of the tray. “But most of all, Mateo wanted to start a family.”
Ryan pushed the tray aside. “What did you want?”
“I wanted to be a mother, too, only—”
Only her selfishness had cost her husband the chance to know his child.
“I believed Mateo and I had plenty of time...” She worked to control the trembling of her chin. “Turns out I was wrong.”
“Then we’ll have to make the most of the time we have.”
She glanced at him. “What do you mean?”
“Operation Christmas. The number listed in the file for Zander has been disconnected.” Ryan propped his elbows on the table. “But I was able to reach Oscar’s mom and got permission to take him to the Flotilla of Lights tonight in the harbor. Wanna give the kid a little taste of Christmas?”
“But—”
“I didn’t forget about Maria. Her folks already plan to attend.”
It had been so long since she attended a Kiptohanock Christmas boat parade.
“Unless...” He deflated. “You’re tired. I can take you home first. Or if you think it’s a bad idea—”
“Are you kidding?” She lifted her chin. “I wouldn’t miss seeing Oscar’s face for the world.”
He smiled that slow, lopsided smile of his. Setting off an unfamiliar seismic reaction in her heart.
This was about the children, she reminded herself. Sternly. “Operation Christmas, Phase One, right?”
“Exactly.” He rubbed his palms together. “This is going to be fun. Get ready for the Christmas of your life.”
And she had the feeling that somehow it would be—maybe in more ways than she could yet imagine.
Chapter Four
Thirty minutes later, Ryan parked outside the seedy, run-down motel. Only the neon sign relieved the darkness of the night.
Anna’s frown reflected his own misgivings. “Oscar lives here?”
“No. At least, I don’t think so.” Ryan got out of the car. “But this is where his mother told me to pick him up.”
Anna unbuckled her seat belt.
He frowned. “I don’t want you going into a place like this, but I also don’t want to leave you here while I go inside.”
Anna got out of the car. “I’m not worried.” She smiled. “I feel safe with you.”
She’d always made him feel safe, too. Safe to be himself.
An inebriated couple lurched out of the entrance. Tensing, Ryan placed himself between Anna and them. But the pair headed deeper into the shadows of the parking lot, and Ryan slipped Anna inside the motel lobby.
Only a small lamp on the front desk relieved the gloominess. The carpet reeked of cigarette smoke and something else he preferred not to identify. Behind the desk, a young girl glared.
At a scuttling sound low to the floor, Anna shrank into him. Her grip on his arm became a stranglehold.
“Maybe it’s a good thing there’s not more lighting.”
Anna grimaced. “Because if we could see what was moving, we’d be really scared?”
The girl at the desk curled her stud-pierced lip. “Can I help you?”
She wasn’t as young as he’d first believed. Early twenties. His youngest sister Tessa’s age. But it was her eyes that snared his attention. Blue chips of hopelessness. Her ash-blond hair was his first clue she might be Oscar’s mother.
The woman’s hands gripped the edge of the counter. “You want the hourly rate?”
“No.” He stiffened. “We’re not—”
“Are you Oscar’s mother?” Anna stepped around him. “Mrs. Ericson?”
The woman’s features hardened. “Never been married. It’s Miz Ericson.” Her eyes narrowed. “Though nobody’s ever called me that, either.”
She didn’t offer her given name, but Anna smiled. “I’m Anna Reyes. One of Oscar’s teachers in the after-school program.”
He shouldn’t have brought Anna here. She didn’t belong in a place like this. Ryan’s gaze flickered. Nobody belonged in a place like this.
The young woman assessed him with laser sharpness. “You the teacher who called here?”
He cleared his throat. “I called the only number listed in Oscar’s file.”
“Yeah, well...” The young woman gave an elaborate shrug. Her shirt rose, revealing a navel ring.
“We hoped we might take Oscar to see the boat parade tonight,” Anna broke in. “If that’s okay with you?”
“I told you to come, didn’t I?”
At one time the young woman might’ve been pretty. But life had not been kind to her. And he was overcome with doubt.
What had he been thinking? Taking a kid to a Christmas parade was just a bandage on a larger problem. The issues facing this family were complex. He was in over his head.
Making an excuse was on the tip of his tongue. But the memory of Oscar’s pinched face wouldn’t leave him. And instead of exiting, Ryan found himself going in deeper. “We might also stop by McDonald’s afterward if you don’t mind, Ms. Ericson.”
In her eyes, a desperate gratitude battled with an overwhelming shame. “It’s Brittany. And that would be nice of you.” She blinked and looked away. “Oscar hasn’t had a Happy Meal in a long time.” She leaned behind the front desk. “Oscar? Wake up, son.”
Ryan and Anna exchanged glances. Oscar was sleeping behind the front desk on the filthy floor?
“Your teachers are here, Oscar. Wake up. Remember, I told you they were coming?”
His sleep-rumpled blond head emerged. A floppy-eared stuffed elephant that had seen better days was carefully tucked in the crook of his elbow. His mother drew him out from behind the counter.
She smoothed the cowlick on his head. “You’re gonna love the pretty lights.” Bending to his height, she fished a coin out of her jeans pocket and thrust a quarter at her son. “Take this. In case you need it. Don’t be no trouble for your teachers.”
Oscar hugged Anna’s knees so hard she staggered. “I’m so happy to see you, Miz Reyes.” Anna hugged him back.
His mother straightened. Red peppered her cheeks. “No need to hurry him home.” Her mouth thinned on the last word. “It gets busy around here when darkness falls.”
An awkward silence descended. That was their cue to leave.
“Bye, Mama.” Oscar waved.
Holding the door, Ryan cast one final glance over his shoulder. Just in time to see Brittany’s hard, brittle shell crack for a moment as a single tear ran down her cheek.
* * *
On the way to the holiday flotilla, Anna found herself singing alongside Bing Crosby’s rendition of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” on the radio.
From the back seat booster Ryan had borrowed, Oscar hummed along, not really knowing the words. “This is gonna be the funnest night ever, Mister Sabbage.”
Ryan’s eyes cut to the rearview mirror. “Yes, it is, Oscar. The best.”
As they drove into town, Kiptohanock did indeed look a lot like Christmas. Sitting high in the seat, Oscar made little sounds of happiness at the sight of the decorated homes. Anna glanced over at Ryan.
He was a special man to have taken on something like this to bring Christmas joy to a needy kid like Oscar. Her respect for her old friend grew.
Ryan pulled into an empty space in the cafe parking lot. “Let me unbuckle Oscar first, then I’ll come around for you.”
“Not necessary, Ryan.”
He gave her a teacher look over the rim of his glasses. “How about letting a guy be a gentleman, Anna Banana?”
Childish laughter erupted from the back seat. “She’s not a banana, Mister Sabbage.”
“Thanks for setting me straight, Oscar.” His mouth twitched. “What about it, Miz Reyes?”
“Fine.” She held up her palm. “Whatever you say, Mister Sabbage.”
He flashed her a quick grin—his hunky demeanor like a sucker punch to her gut. He and Oscar helped her unfold from the passenger side.
“Will your family be here tonight, Ryan?”
Ryan and Oscar each took one of her hands and tugged. “Probably not. Christmas Open House at the garden center tomorrow.”
She found her footing as Ryan and Oscar high-fived. “Teamwork!” Ryan smiled at her. “Let’s go have fun.”
Anna took Oscar’s hand as they crossed the parking lot to join the throng gathering around the seawall. The lanterns on the square pulsed with a warm glow. Holiday music blared from the loudspeakers at the Coast Guard station.
Many townsfolk stopped to welcome Anna home. Though she could see the questions on people’s faces at her rounded abdomen, their welcome was nonetheless genuine. And everyone proved kind to Oscar, as well.
Friends of her parents like Dixie, a waitress at the cafe, and her husband, Bernard. The Reverend Parks and Agnes. When their daughter, Darcy, came up and hugged her, she and Anna both squealed like the two teenage girls they’d been a long time ago.
“Lunch. Soon,” Anna promised as Oscar pulled her closer to the marina, where fishing vessels and pleasure boats were decked out in multicolored lights.
Chums of her absentee brothers said their hellos. Many of them were married and had children of their own now. Children, like Oscar, who waited with barely concealed anticipation for the arrival of Father Kiptohanock. Spotting her teachers, Maria dragged her family over to meet them.
Maria’s mother toted a baby on her hip. A toddler perched on her father’s shoulders. The Guzmans spoke very little English, but Maria and Oscar chatted easily. It was the most animated she’d seen Maria yet.
Standing next to her brother, Sawyer Kole, Evy waved from the edge of the town dock. On duty, Charlie was probably somewhere overseeing security.
“Would you like to join Evy?” Ryan’s breath made puffs of air.
“Let’s stay here so Maria and Oscar can enjoy the parade together.” She scanned the nearby church, open for potential emergencies. At least that’s what she hoped. “These days it’s best to never get too far from a bathroom.”
He laughed, the sound rumbling out of his chest.
She was reminded of how close he’d been in the car when he fastened her seat belt. And how he smelled of Old Spice and spearmint gum.
Her pulse did an unauthorized staccato step. “I’ll stay here with the kids and the Guzmans. But you can go.” A little distance might prove wise.
“I’m right where I want to be.” He settled in beside her.
Shoulder to shoulder at the seawall, she forced herself not to inhale too deeply. It wasn’t as if she were trying to capture his scent again in her nostrils. That would be too ridiculous. And pathetic. Despite the chilly temperature, her cheeks burned with an awareness of him.
Hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat, he smiled at her. For an instant, something blazed in his eyes. But before she could identify the emotion, he turned toward the water. “Think we’ll have a white Christmas?”
She gulped past the boat-size boulder lodged in her throat. “Has there ever been a white Christmas in Kiptohanock?”
Taking his hands out of his pockets, he leaned his elbows on top of the wall. “My gram used to tell us about one white Christmas when she was a girl.”
“Doesn’t seem fair, does it?” She shrugged. “The cold temperatures without the reward of snow.”
“Make it your Christmas wish, Anna.” The corner of his mouth lifted, zinging straight to her heart. “And tell it to Father Kiptohanock.” His gaze flicked toward the harbor. “It’s starting.”
Oscar and Maria strained forward as far as the seawall allowed. Vessels decorated like parade floats chugged past the judges on the dock. Charter boats with cutout cardboard Christmas trees glowed red and green.
Max and his dad, Chief Braeden Scott, waved to the crowd from one of the sailboats. A Star of Bethlehem on top of the mast and a blue string of lights festooned their entry.
Adorned with neon cats and dogs, the Santa Paws boat encouraged people to adopt a pet. Flags aflutter, the Coasties had embellished a rapid response boat in red, white and blue. Izzie Clark waved in a queenlike fashion from onboard the sea turtle hospital float.
Ryan chuckled. “Izzie and Max. Always a competition with those two. Yet the best of friends.”
She elbowed him. “Remind you of anyone?”
Ryan elbowed her back. “And here we are, the two of us, teaching the bright young minds of Kiptohanock. Full circle, huh?”
Her smile faded. Only temporarily. Ryan was leaving after Christmas.
Oscar tugged her arm. “Look, Miz Reyes.”
Decked out like a pirate ship, the high school float loaded with students maneuvered past the wharf. A tall, gangly boy lifted his imitation hook and whooped. A teenage girl with flowing dark hair and an eye patch brandished a fake sword. On the shoreline, a ruggedly handsome man and a blonde pregnant woman broke into cheers.
“Is that—?” Anna started to point but thought better of it.
Ryan clapped furiously as the students hammed it up for the judges. “Yes, it is,” he whispered. “One of the Colliers.”
She tried not to let her jaw drop. “Not the one who...?”
He shook his head. “That one’s still in jail. This is his older brother, Canyon. A respected agriculture pilot now. Lives in the family homeplace. The swashbuckling girl pirate is his. Canyon married the widowed mother of Captain Hook. She owns the florist shop.”
Anna smiled. “From the looks of things, it’s his, hers and theirs.”
Ryan folded his arms across his chest. “They found their happily-ever-after after much heartache. Kristina lost her first husband in Afghanistan.”
Anna’s heart stirred with sympathy for the woman who appeared to be in her first trimester. “I had friends on the base who lost their husbands that way, too. Sudden and horrific.”
“What you endured was as horrific as losing a husband to combat, Anna.” Ryan closed his eyes momentarily. “Perhaps worse.”
“Either way.” She sighed. “Goodbyes are never easy.”
“No.” He stared out over the color-dappled water. “They’re not.”
Did he pine for the woman who’d broken their engagement? The woman must’ve been an idiot to bail on a man like Ryan. Great guys weren’t a dime a dozen. She’d found one in Mateo. Ryan, her dear friend, was no less a prize for some woman to claim.
She inhaled sharply. Some woman, not her.
“Are you okay?” He made a move to touch her but let his hand fall to his side. “Do you need to sit down?”
“I’m fine. Got to get my teacher legs back. Anyway, I’m glad to see Canyon Collier and his lady got their happy ending.” She placed her hand on her abdomen, rubbing small circles on her belly.
“You were born to be a mother, Anna. You’ll be the best.”
“I hope so.” She patted his arm. “By the way, I like the scruffy look on you.”
He snorted. “Thank you, I think.”
“I mean it.” She nudged him with her shoulder. “You rock the intellectual vibe.”
He rolled his eyes. “You mean the geeky vibe.”
“I mean the too cool for school, good-looking—”
“You think I’m good-looking?”
She blushed.
“Thank you, Anna.”
And they shared a look from which she couldn’t turn away. Her pulse pounded.
* * *
Ryan gestured to the end of the pier, where the judges handed out the award for Best Powerboat to the Coasties. “Nobody does Christmas better than Kiptohanock.”
She gave him a sideways look. “And yet you’re leaving.”
He could hardly believe he was standing on the waterfront with Anna after all these years. How many times had he wished...? He shook himself. Best not to get too attached. She was right. He was leaving.
The excitement in the crowd ratcheted as the judges awarded the remaining prizes. Braeden Scott won best in the sailboat division. Ten-year-old Max smirked at his glowering archrival, Izzie.
But the sea turtle float scored People’s Choice. The little redheaded girl smirked right back at Max. Santa Paws garnered Best in Show. The high school captured the Best Costume and Best Crew Spirit award.
And finally what everyone had been waiting for. With electric reindeer mounted on the bow, one last vessel negotiated the waters between the anchored parade participants. Excited, Maria and Oscar bobbed like baited hooks in the water. Mrs. Guzman and Anna exchanged smiles.
Father Kiptohanock threw a mooring line to a Coastie, who tied the boat to the dock cleats. Applause ensued. Father Kiptohanock—like an old-time waterman but in a faux fur-trimmed red slicker and Wellingtons—stepped onto the wharf.
Anna’s mouth fell open. “Is that Seth Duer?”
“Not so loud.” Ryan laid his finger on his lips. “It’s Seth’s turn this year. Margaret Davenport made sure he didn’t weasel out of it.”
“Margaret’s still orchestrating Kiptohanock life?”
The sixty-something lady was as well-known and Shore-famous as the Sandpiper’s Long John doughnuts. In her case, though, it was for her meddling, autocratic ways and sharp tongue.
He did a half-hearted fist pump. “Long live the Queen.”
Released from parental restraints, Maria, Oscar and the other children swarmed Seth Duer—aka Father Kiptohanock—for the anticipated candy. And Ryan’s heart swelled when Oscar shared his candy with Maria’s little brother. Oscar was a good kid. A kid in need of a helping hand.
Anna giggled. “Is it my imagination, or does Father Kiptohanock resemble a Yuletide Gorton’s Fisherman?”
“Minus the beard.” Ryan grinned. “But I think the bushy mustache counts.”
She laughed so hard she braced against the seawall for support. “Only in Kiptohanock.”
He got the feeling it was the first time in a long while that she’d laughed—really laughed.
Then he spotted Margaret Davenport plowing her way through the onlookers. At the determined gleam in her eyes, he wondered who she had in her sights. And with dismay, realized it was none other than Anna.
He broadened his chest. If she’d come to criticize Anna, she’d have to go through him first. Nobody was dissing Anna on his watch.
Anna’s smile faded as she glanced at his face. “What’s—?”
“I’m so glad I caught the two of you.” Margaret’s gaze pinged from Ryan to Anna. “Nice to see you home again, Anna.”
Anna’s hand flew protectively over her stomach.
Margaret focused on Ryan. “Your brother promised me he’d have those animals for the Living Nativity by Christmas week.”
“If Luke said he’d have them, then—”
“Fine.” She fluttered an imperious hand. “Actually, I came over to talk with Anna.”
He widened his stance. “I don’t think—”
“I believe congratulations are in order, Anna.” Margaret’s face softened. “I’m sorry your husband will not be here to share in your joy.”
He probed the older woman’s expression for signs of derision but found none. Only a compassion he’d not expected in the usually acerbic grande dame of Kiptohanock.