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“It must have been very tough for you all,” Meg said compassionately.
Luke nodded. That was the understatement of the century. In many ways he was still grappling with the circumstances surrounding Gwyneth’s death.
“Where are your three little girls now?” Meg asked, abruptly looking and acting very much like the nurse/natural healer she was professionally.
“With John and Lilah McCabe,” Luke explained as Meg knelt next to the freshly sanded park bench. “We’ve been staying at their ranch the past couple of days, while I closed on the house, got acquainted with the hospital and had the utilities turned on here.”
Meg opened a can of primer and began applying it to the wooden slats with slow, even brush strokes. Looking relieved to talk about something other than herself and her son, Meg glanced over at Luke. “How old are they?”
Appreciating the genuine interest and understanding in Meg’s eyes, Luke dropped to the grass beside Meg and got comfortable. He knew he should feel relieved Jeremy wasn’t his son after all—he had his hands full just trying to bring up his three daughters—but he found himself wishing he were Jeremy’s father. He wanted that link to Meg. He wanted an irrefutable reason for them to start over and forge a relationship again.
“Susie is five. She’s all sunshine and storms. Everything is either truly wonderful or a complete disaster. Becca is four. She’s the negotiator of the family and is always trying to strike a deal or make things better for everyone. Amy is three, and she has a very mellow personality. Cooperation is her motto.”
Meg slanted him a glance, beginning to relax even more as the talk stayed on what were, for her, safer subjects. “Sounds like you have your hands full,” she said admiringly.
Luke breathed in the familiar fragrance of Meg’s cinnamon perfume as it mingled with the soap-and-water freshness of her skin. “I do.”
“Do you have help?”
Luke watched the capable movements of her slender hands, unable to help but recall how those same hands had felt sliding over his skin. “In California I had a housekeeper and a retired nurse, who worked as their nanny.”
“Neither came with you?” Finished with the seat, Meg stood and began working on the rest of the bench.
Loathing the deliberate way she held him at arm’s length, Luke shook his head. “Both have family there and didn’t want to move.” As much as he hated to lose them, he understood. He hadn’t just taken the job in Laramie because he’d learned about Jeremy and thought—hoped—he and Meg had a child together that she’d been too afraid to tell him about. He’d come back to Texas for good, this time, because he needed to be closer to his Texas roots. And even though he’d grown up in Houston, next to the oil refinery where his dad had worked, Laramie was such a warm and friendly town it already felt like home.
Meg lifted a brow. “Are you going to hire a nanny here?”
Aware she was gauging his reply carefully, Luke shook his head, his glance tracking the swell of her breasts, pushing against her blouse, and the graceful shape of her bare arms. “I’m planning to put them in the employee day care center over at the hospital,” he replied. “That way I can check on them several times a day and go down and have lunch with them. If they ever need me, I’ll be right there on the premises. When Susie starts kindergarten in the fall, she’ll remain in the center’s before-and-after-school program.”
Blissfully unaware of the effect her close proximity was having on him, Meg swiveled around to look at him with a mixture of empathy and approval. “Jeremy is enrolled there, too,” she said, regarding him, one concerned parent to another. “He really likes it.”
Trying hard not to notice the snug way her shorts stretched over the delectable curves, Luke stood and shifted in a way to ease the growing pressure at the front of his jeans. “Looks like our kids will really be getting to know each other,” he said, glad to know she cared about her son as much as he cared about his daughters. Even if she wasn’t yet doing right by her son’s father, whoever he was.
“I guess so.” Meg smiled at him helpfully, comfortable now that she’d finally decided on a role for them to play, that of emotionally uninvolved neighbors. “Is there anything I can do for you? Maybe make some lunch for you and the girls and bring it over later?”
Luke nodded. He knew what Meg was doing. Falling back into the familiar role of gracious Texas lady while keeping him at arm’s length. She might not know it yet, but this was only a starting place. Although where it would end up, given Meg’s wariness where he was concerned, was yet to be seen. “That would be great,” he said, smiling, too.
Finished, Meg put aside her brush and slapped the lid back on the can of primer. She smiled at him like the “good neighbor and no more” she intended to be. Luke felt his hopes for a quickly resumed friendship fading fast. “Do they like macaroni and cheese?” she asked with a politeness that grated.
Luke nodded, aware this was not working out anywhere near as well as he had hoped. Meg wouldn’t use their kids as an excuse to get close again. She’d use them like a perpetual shield, to keep them apart.
“Mac ’n’ cheese is their favorite,” Luke said. The moving truck drove up and parked in front of the big house next door. “I’d better go,” Luke said reluctantly.
Meg nodded. “I’ll see you later.”
AS MEG EXPECTED, her five-and-a-half-year-old son, Jeremy, was deliriously excited by the sight of such a big truck. She was glad to see it, too, relieved to end her time alone with Luke. She had known he would catch up with her eventually. She had even guessed he would ask about Jeremy’s paternity the first chance he got.
What she hadn’t imagined was how hard it would be for her to be evasive.
Even now, knowing there was no way they could go back and right the wrongs and rewrite the past, she wanted to tell him everything that had happened. And why. If she knew for certain he would understand why she’d done what she had, maybe there’d be a chance for them to be close again. At the very least, caring friends. But life came with no such guarantees.
And that being the case, Meg decided, she couldn’t risk her son being hurt by any mistakes she made. Jeremy had struggled enough, growing up without a father in his life, and didn’t need his life turned upside down now. Maybe she hadn’t been able to give Jeremy a father, but she’d given him everything else—a home, family, security and lots of love. She wasn’t going to risk that being taken away from him.
“Can I go out and watch the movers unload the van?” Jeremy asked as he finished his favorite breakfast of cereal, milk and fruit.
Feeling steadier now that she’d reassured herself her decisions had been the right ones, Meg shot an affectionate look at her son. With his auburn hair, a shade darker than Meg’s, fair freckled skin and chocolate-brown eyes, he was definitely a Lockhart. Already tall for his age, he’d added another inch to his sturdy little body over the summer. “Just make sure you stay in our yard,” Meg cautioned as she helped him tie his sneakers. She shot a look at Luke next door and felt her stomach tighten. “I don’t want you getting in the way of the movers.”
“Okay,” Jeremy said agreeably, going back to the table to quaff the last of his juice. “Do they have any kids?”
Happy about the additional children in the neighborhood, Meg told him about Luke’s three girls.
Jeremy grinned as he ran to get one of his toy trucks. “Now I’ll have someone my age to play with all the time.” Dashing back, he stopped just short of Meg and asked, “Can Alexandra come over and watch the movers unload the van, too?”
Alexandra Remington was Meg’s sister’s new step-daughter, also five. Upon meeting, Jeremy and Alex had quickly become friends. “Sure,” Meg smiled. “If Clara says it’s okay.”
“How come she has to ask Clara instead of Jake and Aunt Jenna?”
“Because Jake and Aunt Jenna just got married yesterday afternoon, honey, and they went to spend their wedding night at a country inn.” Alex had stayed home with her housekeeper-nanny, Clara.
Jeremy wrinkled his nose, perplexed. “How come they wanted to do that?”
“Because they just got married and they wanted to be alone for a while,” Meg said.
Jeremy frowned. “Are they gonna take a honeymoon, like Aunt Dani and Uncle Beau did when they got married?”
“Yes, but not until later this fall, when things are more settled.”
“How come you aren’t getting married, too?” Jeremy demanded, running his truck back and forth over the tabletop.
Out of the mouths of babes, Meg thought. “Because I’m not in love with someone yet,” Meg explained. And the way things are going, she thought dispiritedly, might never be, especially with Luke underfoot, distracting her and reminding her what was and wouldn’t be again.
“But you had me,” Jeremy continued.
“Yes, I did,” Meg smiled, knowing that was the one thing—the only thing—she would never regret. “And I love you very much.” Meg knelt so they were face-to-face, wrapped her arms around Jeremy and hugged him tight. Loving the peace and happiness he brought to her life, she breathed in the baby shampoo scent of his hair and then drew back. Grinning at the excitement dancing in his eyes, she asked, “Now, do you want to call Alex?”
“And Trevor and Teddy and Tyler, too?” Jeremy insisted.
Meg smiled as she thought of the triplet sons of Annie and Travis McCabe. “Okay. Ask them to stay to lunch.” That would keep her and Luke from being alone. It would keep her from realizing all over again just how very attracted she was to him.
UNFORTUNATELY, her sisters, Kelsey and Dani, who dropped by midmorning, were every bit as curious about Meg’s new neighbors as her son, Jeremy, had been.
“I can’t believe Luke Carrington actually bought that house and is moving into it, as is,” Dani murmured, keeping a watchful eye on the five kids now congregated in the side yard, watching the unloading, while Meg, taking solace in the abundance of company, busied herself by rushing around the kitchen, intent on making enough kid-pleasing macaroni and cheese to feed an army.
“It’s a very big house, structurally sound and was sold at a pleasing price. With three girls, Luke Carrington needs a lot of space,” Meg murmured, casting a glance out the window at the large turn-of-the-century Cape Cod next door.
“The lavender exterior paint and the deep-purple trim aren’t exactly guy colors. Not to mention the clashing dark-green shutters and snowy-white door,” Kelsey began critically, watching as Dani’s husband, Beau, and Kelsey’s business partner, Brady Anderson, went over to introduce themselves and lend a hand to Luke and the moving crew.
“That house has the most garish interior paint I have ever seen. I know, because I saw it before I bought my place,” Dani said as she sliced ham for sandwiches.
“So Luke Carrington has his work cut out for him. I’m sure he can manage. To get inspired, all he has to do is look at my place,” Meg said as Kelsey began to help with the salad making. Maybe the redecorating would take up all his spare time and energy.
“Or you,” Dani teased.
Meg rolled her eyes at Dani. Luke had desired her once, but that didn’t mean it would ever happen again. “Just because you and Jenna are happily married and head-over-heels-in-love with your husbands does not mean I have romance on my mind.”
“Maybe you should,” Dani said, covering the filled platter with plastic wrap and sliding it back into the refrigerator. “After all, Luke’s a doctor. You’re a nurse. You both work at Laramie Community Hospital. You both are single and both have kids.”
“You know what I find interesting?” Kelsey interrupted as she washed the lettuce. “That the new doctor in town would have the same name as that buddy of yours from your grad school days in Chicago. Remember how much you used to talk about that guy on the phone to us? It was always Luke this and Luke that.”
Leave it to baby sister Kelsey, the most fickle of all the Lockhart women, to remember a detail like that, Meg thought. And then bring it up at the worst possible time. When she was still feeling vulnerable from Luke’s visit.
Dani’s amber eyes brightened. “That is a coincidence.”
Meg knew she might as well be honest—her sisters would find out soon enough that Luke and she had known each other before. If not from John and Lilah McCabe, who were responsible for bringing Luke to Laramie, then from Luke himself. “It’s the same guy.”
“How did he end up in Laramie?” Kelsey asked as she put the washed lettuce into the salad spinner and gave it a whirl.
Wary of divulging her emotions, Meg gave more than usual concentration to the cheese sauce she was making. “Lilah told me he met John at a family medicine conference on rural medicine in New Mexico last spring,” she replied in the most casual voice she could manage. “John knew he was going to retire this summer, and he encouraged Luke, who was looking for a way to come back to the state where he grew up, to apply for the position at the hospital here.”
Looking every bit the native Texas cowgirl she was, in jeans, chambray shirt and boots, Kelsey leaned against the kitchen counter and munched on a carrot. “You never did tell us why you had that falling out with Luke after Mom and Dad died.”
Meg did her best to curtail a blush as she drained the cooked macaroni through the colander in the sink. “It wasn’t a falling out.”
“Seemed like one to me,” Dani noted as she began slicing red cabbage into thin strips. “You wouldn’t take his calls or read his letters.”
Meg put the drained macaroni into the buttered casserole and poured the cheese sauce over that. “I was just upset that summer, that’s all.”
“Meaning it was all your fault and not Luke’s?” Dani asked, suddenly acting more counselor to the hopelessly romantic and perennially unattached than the film critic she was. “Or simply that you still don’t want to talk about it?”
Leave it to Dani, a person who knew a good story when she found one, to zero in on the problem. Her shoulders stiff with building tension, Meg sprinkled the dish with bread crumbs and slid the casserole into the oven to bake. “I am not going to discuss this with you two.”
Dani and Kelsey exchanged mischievous looks. “The question is, did you discuss it with Luke?” Kelsey pressed.
“Discuss what with Luke?” Jenna asked curiously, coming in the door and glowing like the very recent bride she was.
Kelsey quickly brought their other sister up to speed on what was happening. “Meg has just informed us that the new doctor at the hospital—who just happens to have also bought the house next door—is the same Luke she knew in Chicago years ago.”
Looking lovely in a fashionable dress of her own design, Jenna quirked a red-gold brow. “Interesting.”
“Isn’t it?” Dani agreed as she put the finishing touches on the salad.
Knowing she had to nip this meddling in the bud before it got any worse, Meg made eye contact with each and every one of her three sisters. “Okay, ladies. Lay off.”
Kelsey grinned and took a long swig of the bottled water she’d brought in with her. “Ohh. Me thinks that man has gotten under her skin again.”
Meg did her best to contain a telltale flush. “Luke has done nothing of the sort,” she said firmly, looking around in vain for something else to do to prepare for the welcome-to-the-neighborhood luncheon she was having for her new neighbors. “If anyone has gotten under my skin, it is you all.”
“You sure?” Kelsey continued to tease playfully.
“What went on between us was a long time ago,” Meg said firmly, as she began counting out napkins.
“And yet, looking at the expression on your face just now,” Jenna interrupted, setting out the old-fashioned Texas sheet cake she’d brought from Isabelle’s bakery, “I’d swear it feels like it happened to you today.”
Meg counted out silverware. “Luke Carrington and I are going to be working together. We’ve got kids the same age. We are living next door to each other.”
“So?” All three of her sisters asked in unison, studying her.
“So I can’t change the reasons for the tension between us years ago,” Meg said, her exasperation growing by leaps and bounds with every new question.
“Meaning what?” Kelsey’s eyes narrowed. “That you forgive him for whatever he did?”
Meg drew a deep, bolstering breath. Forgiveness had nothing to do with it. It was self-preservation, maintaining the serenity of their lives, that was key. “Meaning I am going to let bygones be just that and treat Luke just like any other neighbor of mine. No better, no worse.” And certainly not any more intimately, Meg promised herself determinedly. Because this time she and Luke had not just themselves to think of, but also all four of their children.
SOON AFTER, John and Lilah McCabe arrived with Luke Carrington’s three little girls in tow. Like stairsteps, they were the image of their mother, Gwyneth, with blond hair, golden-brown eyes and pretty, delicate features. All three had the same haircut—silky, chin-length bobs with bangs—and were dressed in pastel shorts and matching sleeveless tops, tennis shoes and socks. As John and Lilah brought them over to Meg’s to introduce them to the children gathered on the lawn, watching the unloading of the moving van, Meg went out to join them.
“And this is Jeremy’s mom, Meg Lockhart,” Lilah said, concluding the introductions.
“Hello,” Susie, the oldest, said shyly.
“Can Jeremy and the other kids play with us sometimes at our house?” Becca asked.
“Absolutely,” Meg smiled, finding it impossible not to warm to the three adorable little girls. “And you can come over here, too, as often as you’d like.”
Amy, the youngest, smiled at Meg and the other kids, then tugged on Lilah’s hand. “Where’s my daddy?”
At the mention of the word, Jeremy frowned.
“Right there.” Lilah pointed and lifted her hand in a wave, motioning Luke over.
Jeremy gave Meg a petulant look, abruptly taking up the dispute they’d been having off and on all summer. He propped his hands on his sturdy little hips and scowled at Meg. “How come everybody else gets to know who their dad is, even if he isn’t hardly ever there no more, like with Teddy, Tyler and Trevor, and I don’t?”
Tyler, Teddy and Trevor looked at Meg, waited expectantly for her reply. As did everyone else, including Lilah McCabe, all three of Meg’s sisters and all three of Luke Carrington’s little girls. “Honey,” Meg felt herself beginning to blush self-consciously despite her desire to stay cool, calm and collected under fire, “I think we should discuss this later.”
“Why?” Jeremy shot back belligerently, his patience with Meg clearly at an end. “You always say the same thing.” He turned to Luke and the other men who had just joined the group. “Do you know who my daddy is?” Jeremy asked Luke. Ignoring the collective gasp of all the adults present, Jeremy pressed him contentiously, “Because I don’t think my mommy knows.”
Meg blushed all the more.
“Of course she does,” Luke said firmly. Then looked at Meg with all the intimacy of a once-dear friend, letting her know with a single glance that he agreed with everyone else and thought she wasn’t being fair to anyone, by keeping Jeremy’s paternity a secret.
Unfortunately, Meg knew it wasn’t that simple. Jeremy didn’t just want to find out who his father was. He wanted a daddy in his life and Meg’s. He wanted the kind of two-parent family other kids had. And while there was always a slim chance that might happen in a sort of marriage-of-convenience way, were Meg to try to get Jeremy’s father to take responsibility for their son at this point. There was also the equally strong possibility that Jeremy’s father would—once the first flush of excitement wore off—be interested in a much less taxing arrangement than what Jeremy had in mind.
Meg had seen it happen plenty of times in her years as a nurse. Fathers who were thrilled and attentive one year, too busy or just plain not interested the next and practically estranged the following year. When the romance of it all wore off, it was always the kids who suffered, who felt somehow they were to blame for the father walking away from the child they’d never planned on and the woman they had never really loved in the first place.
Meg would rather have her son do without than have his hopes raised and then crushed, his heart broken, as hers had been. She didn’t want him to think he had magically found the love he had been looking for all his life, only to see it slip away the next. As it was, Jeremy had her to rely on. She would never make him feel he was a burden or be too busy for him, never lose interest as time went on and walk away from him.
“Let’s not discuss this now, please,” Meg said.
The three sisters exchanged glances. Lilah and John McCabe looked worried, too. The kids all appeared confused. “I’m going to put the finishing touches on lunch,” Meg said, hardening her heart and letting everyone know the subject of Jeremy’s paternity was closed, just as it had always been.
THANKS TO LILAH AND JOHN MCCABE and their insistence in drafting everyone who stopped in to help Luke unpack and get his house in order, by bedtime the work was finished. There were towels in the linen closet, sheets on the beds and plenty of food and beverages stocking his pantry and fridge. The only thing that hadn’t gone quite according to plan were the sleeping arrangements. Although there were bedrooms for all, his three little girls wanted to share one room. Knowing how hard the move had been for them, Luke had put their bureaus, clothes and bookshelves in one bedroom, all their toys in another and their beds in the third so that they could sleep together in the bedroom across the hall from his. It made for a rather strange arrangement of furniture and belongings upstairs, but he figured that as time passed and they grew more comfortable in their new house, they would go back to each having her own room again. Meantime, he had three very tired little girls on his hands, Luke noted, as he tucked them into their beds. Weary as they might be, however, they still had a lot on their minds.
“You have to help Jeremy, Daddy,” Susie said.
Becca nodded. “We told him you were real good at finding things.”
Amy added, “Jeremy’s real sad because he can’t find his daddy.”
His girls looked increasingly worried as Susie explained, “He can’t find him because he doesn’t know where he is.”
Or even who he is, Luke thought, once again wishing that he were Jeremy’s father so he could quickly put everything to right for Meg and the boy.
“I am sure Jeremy and his mommy are talking about this very thing right now,” Luke said gently, doing his best to reassure his daughters the way he wished he could comfort Meg’s son. “And I’m also sure they will work everything out.” If only because Jeremy was not about to let the subject rest until they did so. “Now you girls go to sleep,” Luke said, tucking them in one by one.
“Okay, Daddy.” There were kisses and hugs all around. Then, minutes later, deep, even breathing.
With a sigh Luke headed back downstairs. He wished he could fix things for Jeremy and Meg, but the truth was, since he wasn’t Jeremy’s father after all, it wasn’t any of his business. Luke looked out the window, blinked at what he saw, then paused and blinked one more time.
Then again, maybe it was his business, Luke decided as he walked outside and confronted the person marching down the sidewalk, dragging his loaded red wagon behind him. A backpack that looked crammed to the gills, a stuffed animal, a sailboat and a toy dump truck were inside it. “Hello, Jeremy.”
Jeremy looked at Luke and, chin set stubbornly, kept right on going, pulling his little red wagon behind him.
Unable to help but admire his gumption, even if his mother clearly had no idea what he was up to, Luke fell into step beside Jeremy. “Just where do you think you’re going?”