The Monogram Murders

CHAPTER 5

Ask a Hundred People

I barely noticed the large crowd gathered in the Bloxham Hotel’s dining room as Poirot and I walked in. The room itself was so striking that I couldn’t help but be diverted by its grandeur. I stopped in the doorway and stared up at the high, lavishly ornamented ceiling with its many emblems and carvings. It was strange to think of people eating ordinary things like toast and marmalade at the tables below a work of art such as this—not even looking up, perhaps, as they sliced the tops off their boiled eggs.

I was trying to make sense of the complete design, and how the different parts of the ceiling related to one another, when a disconsolate Luca Lazzari rushed towards me, interrupting my admiration of the artistic symmetry above my head with his loud lament. ‘Mr Catchpool, Monsieur Poirot, I must apologize to you most profusely! I have hurried to assist you in your important work, and, in doing so, I have put forward a falsehood! It was simply, you see, that I heard many accounts, and my first attempt to collate them was not successful. My own foolishness was responsible! No one else was at fault. Ah—’

Lazzari broke off and looked over his shoulder at the hundred or so men and women in the room. Then he moved to his left, so that he was standing directly in front of Poirot, and stuck out his chest in a funny sort of way. He put his hands on his hips. I think he was hoping to hide his entire staff from Poirot’s disapproving eye, on the principle that if they couldn’t be seen, they couldn’t be blamed for anything.

‘What was your mistake, Signor Lazzari?’ Poirot asked.

‘It was a grave error! You observed that it was surely not possible, and you were right. But I want you to understand that my excellent staff, whom you see here before you, told me the truth of what took place, and it was I who twisted that truth to mislead—but I did not do it deliberately!’

‘Je comprends. Now, to correct the mistake …?’ said Poirot hopefully.

The ‘excellent’ staff, meanwhile, sat silently at large round tables, listening carefully to every word. The mood was sombre. I made a quick survey of the faces and saw not a single smile.

‘I told you that the three deceased guests asked to have dinner served in their rooms at a quarter past seven yesterday evening—each separately,’ Lazzari said. ‘This is not true! The three were together! They dined as a group! All in one room, Ida Gransbury’s room, number 317. One waiter, not three, saw them alive and well at a quarter past seven. Do you see, Monsieur Poirot? It is not the great coincidence that I conveyed to you, but, instead, a commonplace occurrence: three guests taking dinner together in the room of one!’

‘Bon.’ Poirot sounded satisfied. ‘That makes sense of that. And who was this one waiter?’

A stout, bald man seated at one of the tables rose to his feet. He looked to be around fifty, and had the jowlish tendency and mournful eyes of a Basset Hound. ‘It was I, sir,’ he said.

‘What is your name, monsieur?’

‘Rafal Bobak, sir.’

‘You served dinner to Harriet Sippel, Ida Gransbury and Richard Negus in Room 317 at fifteen minutes past seven yesterday evening?’ Poirot asked him.

‘Not dinner, sir,’ said Bobak. ‘Afternoon tea—that was what Mr Negus ordered. Afternoon tea at dinner time. He asked if that was all right or if I was going to force them to have what he called “a dinner sort of dinner”. Told me that he and his friends were of one mind as not being in the mood for one of those. Said they’d rather have afternoon tea. I told him he could have whatever he wanted, sir. He asked for sandwiches—ham, cheese, salmon and cucumber—and an assortment of cakes. And scones, sir, with jam and cream.’

‘And beverages?’ Poirot asked.

‘Tea, sir. For all three of them.’

‘D’accord. And the sherry for Richard Negus?’

Rafal Bobak shook his head. ‘No, sir. No sherry. Mr Negus didn’t ask me for a sherry. I didn’t take a glass of sherry up to Room 317.’

‘You are certain of this?’

‘Absolutely, sir.’

Being on display in front of all those pairs of eyes was making me feel a touch awkward. I was painfully aware that I had not yet asked a question. Letting Poirot run the show was all very well, but if I didn’t participate at all, I would look feeble. I cleared my throat and addressed the room: ‘Did any of you take a cup of tea to Harriet Sippel’s room, number 121, at any point? Or a sherry to Richard Negus’s room? Either yesterday or Wednesday, the day before?’

Heads began to shake. Unless someone was lying, it seemed that the only delivery to any of the three victims’ rooms was the one of afternoon-tea-for-dinner made by Rafal Bobak to Room 317 at 7.15 p.m. on Thursday.

I tried to sort it out in my mind: the teacup in Harriet Sippel’s room wasn’t a problem. That must have been one of the three brought by Bobak, since only two cups were found in Ida Gransbury’s room after the murders. But how did the sherry glass make its way to Richard Negus’s room unless transported there by a waiter?

Did the killer arrive at the Bloxham with a glass of Harvey’s Bristol Cream in his hand, as well as a pocket full of monogrammed cufflinks and poison? It seemed far-fetched.

Poirot appeared to have fixed on the same problem. ‘To be absolutely clear: not one of you gave a glass of sherry to Mr Richard Negus, either in his room or anywhere else in the hotel?’

There was more head-shaking.

‘Signor Lazzari, can you tell me please, was the glass found in Mr Negus’s room one that belonged to the Bloxham Hotel?’

‘Yes, it was, Monsieur Poirot. This is all very perplexing. I would suggest that perhaps a waiter who is absent today gave the glass of sherry to Mr Negus on Thursday or Wednesday, but everybody is here now who was here then.’

‘It is, as you say, perplexing,’ Poirot agreed. ‘Mr Bobak, perhaps you could tell us what happened when you took the evening-afternoon-tea to Ida Gransbury’s room.’

‘I set it out on the table and then I left them to it, sir.’

‘They were all three in the room? Mrs Sippel, Miss Gransbury and Mr Negus?’

‘They were, yes, sir.’

‘Describe to us the scene.’

‘The scene, sir?’

Seeing that Rafal Bobak was at a loss, I chipped in with: ‘Which one of them opened the door?’

‘Mr Negus opened the door, sir.’

‘And where were the two women?’ I asked.

‘Oh, they were sitting in the two chairs over by the fireplace. Talking to each other. I had no dealings with them. I spoke only to Mr Negus. Laid everything out on the table by the window, and then I left, sir.’

‘Can you recall what the two ladies talked about?’ asked Poirot.

Bobak lowered his eyes. ‘Well, sir …’

‘It is important, monsieur. Every detail that you can tell me about these three people is important.’

‘Well … they were being a bit cattish, sir. Laughing about it, too.’

‘You mean they were being spiteful? How so?’

‘One of them was, yes. And Mr Negus, he seemed to find it entertaining. It was something about an older woman and a younger man. It wasn’t my business so I didn’t listen.’

‘Do you remember what precisely was said? At whom was the cattishness directed?’

‘I couldn’t tell you, sir, I’m sorry. An old woman that might be pining for the love of a young man, that was the sense I got. It sounded like gossip to me.’

‘Monsieur,’ said Poirot in his most authoritative voice. ‘If you should happen to remember anything else about this conversation, anything at all, please inform me without delay.’

‘I shall, sir. Now that I think about it, the young man might have deserted the older woman and eloped with another woman. Idle gossip, that’s all it was.’

‘So …’ Poirot started to pace the length of the room. It was strange to see more than a hundred heads turn slowly, then turn back as he retraced his steps. ‘We have Richard Negus, Harriet Sippel and Ida Gransbury—one man and two women—in Room 317, talking cattishly about one man and two women!’

‘But what’s the significance of that, Poirot?’ I asked.

‘It might not be significant. It is interesting, however. And the idle gossip, the laughter, the afternoon tea for dinner … This tells us that our three murder victims were not strangers but acquaintances on friendly terms, unaware of the fate that would shortly befall them.’

A sudden movement startled me. At the table immediately in front of where Poirot and I were standing, a black-haired, pale-faced young man had bounced out of his seat as if propelled from underneath. I would have assumed he was eager to say something were it not for the terror-frozen expression on his face.

‘This is one of our junior clerks, Mr Thomas Brignell,’ said Lazzari, presenting the man with a flourish of his hand.

‘They were more than on friendly terms, sir,’ Brignell breathed after a protracted silence. No one sitting behind him could have heard what he said, his voice was so quiet. ‘They were good friends. They knew each other well.’

‘Of course they were good friends!’ Lazzari announced to the room. ‘They ate a meal together!’

‘Many people eat meals every day with those they dislike profoundly,’ said Poirot. ‘Please continue, Mr Brignell.’

‘When I met Mr Negus last night, he was concerned for the two ladies as only a good friend would be,’ Thomas Brignell whispered at us.

‘You met him?’ I said. ‘When? Where?’

‘Half past seven, sir.’ He pointed towards the dining room’s double doors. I noticed that his arm was shaking. ‘Right outside here. I walked out and saw him going towards the lift. He saw me and stopped, called me over. I assumed he was making his way back to his room.’

‘What did he say to you?’ Poirot asked.

‘He … he asked me to make sure that the meal was charged to him and not to either of the ladies. He could afford it, he said, but Mrs Sippel and Miss Gransbury could not.’

‘Was that all he said, monsieur?’

‘Yes.’ Brignell looked as if he might faint if he was required to produce one more word.

‘Thank you, Mr Brignell,’ I said as warmly as I could. ‘You’ve been very helpful.’ Immediately I felt guilty for not having thanked Rafal Bobak in a similar manner, so I added, ‘As have you, Mr Bobak. As have you all.’

‘Catchpool,’ Poirot murmured. ‘Most people in this room have said nothing.’

‘They have listened attentively and applied their minds to the problems presented to them. I think they deserve credit for that.’

‘You have faith in their minds, yes? Perhaps these are the hundred people you call upon when we disagree? Bien, if we were to ask these hundred people …’ Poirot turned back to the crowd. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we have heard that Richard Negus, Harriet Sippel and Ida Gransbury were friends, and that their food was delivered to Room 317 at fifteen minutes past seven. Yet at half past seven, Mr Brignell saw Richard Negus on this floor of the hotel, walking towards the lift. Mr Negus must have been returning, n’est-ce pas, either to his own room, 238, or to Room 317 to join his two friends? But returning from where? His sandwiches and cakes were delivered only fifteen minutes earlier! Did he abandon them immediately and set off somewhere? Or did he eat his share of the food in only three or four minutes before rushing off? And to where did he rush? What was the important errand for which he left Room 317? Was it to ensure that the food should not end up on the bill of Harriet Sippel or Ida Gransbury? He could not wait twenty or thirty minutes, or an hour, before setting off to attend to this matter?’

A sturdily built woman with curly brown hair and severe eyebrows sprang to her feet at the back of the room. ‘You keep asking all these questions as if I might know the answer, as if we all might know the answers, and we don’t know nothing!’ Her eyes darted around the room as she spoke, settling on one person after another, though her words were addressed to Poirot. ‘I want to go home, Mr Lazzari,’ she wailed. ‘I want to look in on my kiddies and see that they’re safe!’

A younger woman sitting beside her put a hand on her arm and tried to calm her. ‘Sit down, Tessie,’ she said. ‘The gentleman’s only trying to help. Your bairns won’t have come to any harm, not if they’ve been nowhere near the Bloxham.’

At this remark, intended as a comfort, both Luca Lazzari and Sturdy Tessie made anguished noises.

‘We won’t keep you much longer, madam,’ I said. ‘And I’m sure Mr Lazzari will allow you to pay a visit to your children afterwards, if that is what you feel you need to do.’

Lazzari indicated that this would be permissible, and Tessie sat down, slightly mollified.

I turned to Poirot and said, ‘Richard Negus did not leave Room 317 in order to clear up the matter of the bill. He ran into Thomas Brignell on his way back from somewhere, so he had already done whatever it was that he set out to do by that point. He then happened to spot Mr Brignell and decided to clear up the matter of the bill.’ I hoped, with this little speech, to demonstrate to all present that we had answers as well as questions. Perhaps not all the answers, yet, but some, and some was better than none.

‘Monsieur Brignell, did you have the impression that Mr Negus happened to see you and take his opportunity, as Mr Catchpool describes? He was not looking for you? It was you who attended to him when he arrived at the hotel on Wednesday, yes?

‘That’s right, sir. No, he wasn’t looking for me.’ Brignell seemed happier about speaking while seated. ‘He chanced upon me and thought, “Oh, there’s that chap again”, if you know what I mean, sir.’

‘Indeed. Ladies and gentlemen,’ Poirot raised his voice. ‘After committing three murders in this hotel yesterday evening, the killer, or somebody who knows the identity of the killer and conspired with him, left a note on the front desk: “MAY THEY NEVER REST IN PEACE. 121. 238. 317.” Did anybody happen to observe the leaving of this note that I show to you now?’ Poirot produced the small white card from his pocket and held it up in the air. ‘It was found by the clerk, Mr John Goode, at ten minutes past eight. Did any of you, perhaps, notice a person or persons near the desk who seemed to be conducting themselves in an unusual way? Think hard! Someone must have seen something!’

Stout Tessie had screwed her eyes shut and was leaning against her friend. The room had filled with whispers and gasps, but it was only the shock and excitement of seeing the handwriting of a killer—a souvenir that made the three deaths seem more vividly real.

Nobody had anything more to tell us. It turned out that if you asked a hundred people, you were likely to be disappointed.

CHAPTER 6

The Sherry Conundrum

Half an hour later, Poirot and I sat drinking coffee in front of a roaring fire in what Lazzari had called ‘our hidden lounge’, a room that was behind the dining room and not accessible from any public corridor. The walls were covered with portraits which I tried to ignore. Give me a sunny landscape any day of the week, or even a cloudy one. It’s the eyes that bother me when people are depicted; it doesn’t seem to matter who the artist is. I’ve yet to see a portrait and not be convinced that its subject is regarding me with searing scorn.

After his exuberant performance as master of ceremonies in the dining room, Poirot had lapsed once more into quiet gloom. ‘You’re fretting about Jennie again, aren’t you?’ I asked him.

He admitted that he was. ‘I do not want to hear that she has been found with a cufflink in her mouth, with the monogram PIJ. That is the news I dread.’

‘Since there is nothing you can do about Jennie for the time being, I suggest you think about something else,’ I advised.

‘How practical you are, Catchpool. Very well. Let us think about teacups.’

‘Teacups?’

‘Yes. What do you make of them?’

After some consideration, I said, ‘I believe I have no opinions whatever on the subject of teacups.’

Poirot made an impatient noise. ‘Three teacups are brought to Ida Gransbury’s room by the waiter Rafal Bobak. Three teacups for three people, as one would expect. But when the bodies of the three are found, there are only two teacups in the room.’

‘The other one is in Harriet Sippel’s room with Harriet Sippel’s dead body,’ I said.

‘Exactement. And this is most curious, is it not? Did Mrs Sippel carry her teacup and saucer back to her room before or after the poison was put into it? In either scenario, who would carry a cup of tea along a hotel corridor, and then take it into a lift or walk down two flights of stairs with it in their hands? Either it is full and there is a risk of spillage, or it is half full or almost empty, and hardly worth transporting. Usually one drinks a cup of tea in the room in which one pours the cup of tea, n’est-ce pas?’

‘Usually, yes. This killer strikes me as being as far from usual as it’s possible to be,’ I said with some vehemence.

‘And his victims? Are they not ordinary people? What about their behaviour? Do you ask me to believe that Harriet Sippel carries her tea down to her room, sits in a chair to drink it, and then almost immediately the murderer knocks on her door, finds an opportunity to put cyanide in her drink? And Richard Negus, remember, has also left Ida Gransbury’s room for some unknown reason, but he arranges to be back in his own room soon afterwards, with a glass of sherry that nobody at the hotel gave him.’

‘I suppose when you put it like that …’ I said.

Poirot carried on as if I had not just conceded the point. ‘Ah, yes, Richard Negus too, he is sitting alone with his drink when the killer pays him a visit. He too says, “By all means, drop your poison into my sherry.” And Ida Gransbury, she is all the while waiting patiently in Room 317, alone, for the murderer to come calling? She sips her tea very slowly. It would be inconsiderate of her to finish it before the killer arrives, of course—how then would he poison her? Where would he put his cyanide?’

‘Damn it, Poirot—what do you want me to say? I don’t understand it any more than you do! Look, it seems to me that the three murder victims must have had some kind of altercation. Why else would they plan to dine together and then all go their separate ways?’

‘I do not think a woman leaving a room in anger would take a half-finished cup of tea with her,’ said Poirot. ‘Would it not in any case be cold by the time it reached Room 121?’

‘I often drink tea cold,’ I said. ‘I quite like it.’

Poirot raised his eyebrows. ‘If I did not know you to be an honest man, I should not believe it possible. Cold tea! Déguelasse!’

‘Well, I should say I’ve grown to like it,’ I added in my defence. ‘There’s no hurry, with cold tea. You can drink it at a time to suit you, and nothing bad’s going to happen to it if you take a while. There’s no time constraint and no pressure. That counts for a lot, in my book.’

There was a knock at the door. ‘That will be Lazzari, coming to check that no one has disturbed us during our important conversation,’ I said.

‘Enter, please,’ Poirot called out.

It was not Luca Lazzari but Thomas Brignell, the junior clerk who had spoken up about having seen Richard Negus by the lift at half past seven. ‘Ah, Monsieur Brignell,’ said Poirot. ‘Do join us. Your account of yesterday evening was most helpful. Mr Catchpool and I are grateful.’

‘Yes, very much so,’ I said heartily. I’d have said almost anything to make it easier for Brignell to cough up whatever was bothering him. It was obvious that something was. The poor chap looked no more confident now than he had in the dining room. He rubbed the palms of his hands together, sliding them up and down. I could see sweat on his forehead, and he looked paler than he had before.

‘I’ve let you down,’ he said. ‘I’ve let Mr Lazzari down, and he’s been so good to me, he has. I didn’t … in the dining room before, I didn’t …’ He broke off and rubbed his palms together some more.

‘You did not tell us the truth?’ Poirot suggested.

‘Every word I spoke was the truth, sir!’ said Thomas Brignell indignantly. ‘I’d be no better than the murderer myself if I lied to the police on a matter as important as this.’

‘I do not think that you would be quite as guilty as him, monsieur.’

‘There were two things I neglected to mention. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, sir. You see, speaking in front of a room full of people isn’t something as comes easy to me. I’ve always been that way. And what made it harder in there, before’—he nodded in the direction of the dining room—‘was that I’d have been reluctant to say the other thing Mr Negus said to me because he paid me a compliment.

‘What compliment?’

‘It wasn’t one I’d done anything to deserve, sir, I’m sure. I’m just an ordinary man. There’s nothing notable about me at all. I do my job, as I’m paid to, and I try to do my best but there’s no reason for anyone to single me out for special praise.’

‘And Mr Negus did this?’ asked Poirot. ‘He singled you out for praise?’

Brignell winced. ‘Yes, sir. Like I said: I didn’t ask for it and I’m sure I’d done nothing to earn it. But when I saw him and he saw me, he said, “Ah, Mr Brignell, you seem a most efficient fellow. I know I can trust you with this.” Then he proceeded to discuss the matter I mentioned before, sir—about the bill, and him wanting to pay it.’

‘And you did not want to repeat the compliment you had received in front of everybody else, is that right?’ I said. ‘You feared it might sound boastful?’

‘Yes, I did, sir. I did indeed. There’s something else, too. Once we’d agreed the matter of the bill, Mr Negus asked me to fetch him a sherry. I was the person that did that. I offered to take it up to his room, but he said he was happy to wait. I brought it to him, and then up he went with it, in the lift.’

Poirot sat forward in his chair. ‘Yet you said nothing when I asked if anyone in the room had given Richard Negus a glass of sherry?’