From Doctor To Princess?

‘This is...quite unnecessary.’ He seemed quite devoted to the idea that there was nothing wrong with him.

‘And these?’ She raised an eyebrow, putting a glass of water and his tablets down next to him. ‘Pain’s generally the body’s way of hinting that you should slow down a bit.’

‘I thought I’d take them when I got back.’ He seemed to be watching her every move as he downed the tablets in one, then took some sips of water. ‘Please. Sit down. We really must talk.’

It was almost a relief. It seemed that Hugo wanted to make their relationship clear as much as she did, and it was a grey area that Nell was feeling increasingly uncomfortable with. She put his tea on the table next to him and sat down on the sofa, reaching for her cup.

‘The first thing I need to say is that your job here is strictly confidential.’ Nell took a breath to protest that she knew all about doctor-patient confidentiality and he silenced her with a flash of his green eyes. ‘More so than usual. I don’t want anyone to know what your role is here or that I’m your patient.’

Nell felt her heart beat a little faster. ‘Is there a reason for that?’

‘Yes, there is. A very good reason.’

‘I’d like to know what that reason is, please.’ She injected as much firmness into her voice as she could.

Hugo smiled suddenly. If he was unused to anyone questioning his decisions, it didn’t seem to bother him all that much. ‘I imagine you’ve done your homework and that you know I’ve been working very hard in the last few years to raise awareness about heart disease and promote early treatment.’

‘I know that you’re the patron of a charity that has done a lot of work in the field...’ How much work Hugo had personally done hadn’t been made clear in the article she’d read.

For a moment, it seemed that finally she’d managed to offend him. And then he smiled. ‘I’m a doctor and it’s my mission. You have a mission?’

‘Yes. I suppose I do.’

‘Then you’ll understand the compelling nature of it. Weakness on my part can only undermine the message I’m trying to give.’

Nell swallowed hard, trying to clear the rapidly growing lump in her throat. ‘Or...it might be seen as a strength. That you understand...’

‘My job is to make things happen. And I’ll freely admit that I’m a prime example of someone who hasn’t followed the most basic advice and sought help at the first signs of any problem with my heart. Which is inexcusable, since I have a very clear understanding of what those signs are.’

So he couldn’t allow himself this. In Hugo’s mind, his illness gave him feet of clay. Nell might disagree, but it was his decision.

‘What you choose to share about your own medical issues is entirely up to you. Of course, I’ll say nothing.’

He nodded. ‘Thank you. I see from your CV that you’ve taken an interest in the psychological aspects of recovery from heart disease.’

Something about his tone gave Nell the impression that this irritated him. ‘Yes, that’s right. I did a module on the psychology of recovery at medical school, and when I decided to specialise in cardiac medicine, it seemed very relevant. I co-authored a study on patients’ post-operative experiences, in partnership with doctors from five other hospitals.’

‘I’d be interested in reading it.’ He turned the corners of his mouth down, and Nell felt her muscles in her stomach twist. Maybe he’d decided that questioning whether he needed a doctor wasn’t enough, and that he’d take a leaf from her ex-boss’s book and undermine her by questioning her professional ability.

She stared at him, wordlessly, and Hugo smiled suddenly. ‘I’d be interested to know which category of patient I fall into.’

That charm again. That smile, which seemed calculated to make Nell’s head spin and throw her off guard. ‘Psychology isn’t a matter of putting people into boxes, it’s a way of understanding what’s there. I’m sure you know that already.’

Perhaps she should mention that understanding exactly why Hugo was so desperate to pretend that there was nothing wrong with him would be a good start in getting him on the road to recovery. Or maybe she should wait until Hugo was ready to voice that idea for himself, even if scraping through the layers of charm and getting him to admit to anything seemed likely to be a long process.

‘Yes, I do. And please forgive me if my welcome has fallen short of expectations. Your presence here wasn’t my choice, it’s my father who thinks I need a minder.’

Nell swallowed down the temptation to take the bait. ‘I’m a doctor. If my duty of care to you, as my patient, makes me seem like a minder then...’ She shrugged.

Hugo leaned forward, the cushion at his side slipping to the floor. ‘Why don’t you go ahead and say it? I can take it.’

If he thought that she couldn’t look into his green eyes and say exactly what she meant, he was going to find out differently. Nell met his gaze and felt shivers run down her spine. Okay, so it was difficult to do. But not impossible.

‘If you think that I’m here to be your minder, then that says a lot more about your approach to this than it does mine.’

‘I suppose it does. But I want to make one thing clear. Duty to my father and professional courtesy to you require that I listen to your advice. But I have specific goals, in connection with a project at the hospital, that need to be met over the next six weeks. I won’t allow anything to get in the way of that.’

‘Even at the cost of your own health?’

‘I can handle it.’

The battle lines had been drawn, and in the heat of his gaze it felt almost exhilarating. Then Nell came to her senses.

In the last three weeks, Hugo had faced a crisis. If that appeared to have had no effect on him, then maybe that just meant he was more adept at covering his emotions than most. He was hurting and unable to trust his own body any more, and if his reaction to that was stubborn failure to face facts, it was her job to get him to a place where he felt strong enough to admit how he felt.

His smouldering green eyes were suddenly too much for her to bear, and she looked away. ‘Compromising on the way you get there doesn’t necessarily mean you have to abandon your goals. Let me help you.’

He thought for a moment. ‘What kind of compromise did you have in mind?’

Nell took a deep breath. This might be the first of many hurdles, but she’d made a start. ‘I don’t know yet. I’ll need to examine you first and hear exactly what your commitments are. Then we can talk about it.’

‘All right.’ He smiled suddenly, as if he’d just remembered that he ought to do so. ‘I’ll make an effort to be a model patient.’

Somehow Nell doubted that. ‘I appreciate the thought. But you’ve a long way to go before you qualify for the title of my most awkward patient.’

This time Hugo really smiled. ‘Shame. I’ll have to try harder.’

‘Yes, you will.’ Nell rose from her seat, picking the cushion up from the floor and putting it back in place, behind his shoulder. ‘You can plan your strategy while I go and get my medical bag.’

Maybe his father knew him better than Hugo had thought. His doctor at the hospital had been highly qualified, deferential, and had treated the whole thing as if it were an afternoon at a health spa. Nell was something different. Honest, no-nonsense and quite capable of cutting him down to size when he tried all the usual diversionary tactics.

Dr Penelope. He didn’t dare call her that, she’d told him she preferred Nell. Which was charming in its own way but didn’t seem to sum her up quite so well. Fierce, beautiful and unstoppable.

It was a little easier to think when she was out of the room. A little easier to remind himself of the flat in London, right at the top of a tenement block, where the lift sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t.

A little pang of regret for times that had seemed altogether simpler. The sofa that had creaked slightly under the weight of two people too tired to move and yet happy to just be together. The awful green bedspread that Anna had chosen, and which hadn’t matched the curtains but which Hugo had liked because she had. It had been the one time in Hugo’s life when duty hadn’t weighed heavy on his shoulders. All he’d needed to do was work hard at medical school and love the woman who shared his life.

He’d brought Anna back to Montarino, two newly minted doctors, full of so many possibilities and dreams. The ring on her finger had been replaced by something more befitting a princess, but Anna had always preferred the old one, which Hugo had saved for out of his allowance. It wasn’t until she’d left that Hugo had stopped to think that maybe she had been unhappy at the palace.

And that had been his doing. Anna had trained to be a doctor, not a princess. She had fitted the bill well enough, but it hadn’t been her mission in life. Hugo had been too intent on pursuing his own mission to see that until it had been too late and Anna had been packing her bags, a ticket back to London with her name on it lying on the bed.

‘If you’d just looked, Hugo, you would have seen that this isn’t enough for me. I have a career, too.’

There had been nothing that he could say because he had known in his heart that Anna was right. He’d let her go, and had watched from afar as she’d risen to the top of her chosen field, like a cork held underwater for too long and bouncing to the surface of a fast-flowing stream. One that had taken her away from him, and had never brought her back again.

Since then, Hugo had confined himself to women whose career aspirations were limited to being a princess. And if he hadn’t found anyone who truly understood him yet, then one of these days his duty would outweigh the yearning for love and he’d marry regardless. It had never made its way to the top of his to-do list, though, and it could wait.

The sound of a chair being pushed across the carpet towards his broke his reverie. It seemed that the doctor was ready for him now.

‘Would you unbutton your shirt for me, please?’ Nell sat down opposite him, briskly reaching into a small nylon bag to retrieve a stethoscope.

Suddenly he felt slightly dizzy. At the hospital, he’d submitted to one examination after the other, distancing himself from the doctors and nurses who quietly did their jobs while he thought about something else. But Nell was different. She challenged him, demanding that he take notice of what was happening to him.

‘My notes are...somewhere...’ He looked around, trying to remember where he’d left the envelope.

‘I have them. They were emailed through to me yesterday. I’d like to check on how you are now.’

Whether he’d managed to throw any spanners in the works. Her meaning shone clear in her light brown eyes, almost amber in the sunshine that streamed through the high windows.

He looked away from her gaze. Hugo had no qualms about his body, he knew that it was as good as the next man’s and that he didn’t have to think twice before he allowed anyone to see it. But things were different now. The new, unhealed scar felt like overwhelming evidence of his greatest weakness.

Nell sat motionless opposite him, clearly willing to wait him out if need be. He reached for the buttons of his shirt, his fingers suddenly clumsy.

* * *

Hugo was finding this hard. Nell pretended not to notice, twisting at the earpieces of her stethoscope as if she’d just found something wrong with them. The very fact that he seemed about to baulk at the idea of a simple examination told her that Hugo wasn’t as confident about his recovery as he liked to make out.

That was okay. Nell would have been more comfortable if she could maintain a degree of professional detachment too, but that wasn’t going to work. The main thing at the moment was to maintain their tenuous connection, because if that was lost then so was their way forward.

‘What about official engagements?’ She’d pretty much exhausted all the things that might be wrong with her stethoscope, and perhaps talking would put him at ease.

‘My father’s beaten you to it. He’s taken care of all my official engagements for the next month. There are various members of the family stepping in.’

‘I’ll have to be quicker off the mark next time,’ Nell commented lightly, trying not to notice that he was slipping his shirt off, revealing tanned skin and a mouth-wateringly impressive pair of shoulders. She concentrated on the dressing on Hugo’s chest, peeling it back carefully.

‘There’s still the hospital project.’ He shot her a grin and Nell felt her hands shake slightly. Being this close to Hugo added a whole new catalogue of ways in which he made her feel uneasy. The scent of his skin. The way she wanted to touch him...

‘What does that involve?’ Nell did her best to forget about everything else and concentrate on the surgical incision on Hugo’s chest.

‘We’re building a new wing at the hospital. It’s going to be a specialist cardiac centre, with outpatient services, a family resource department and a unit for long-stay paediatric patients.’

‘That sounds like a very worthwhile project.’

‘Yes, it is. And there’s no alternative but for me to be out there, raising money for it.’

‘There’s always an alternative...’ Nell murmured the words, clipping the stethoscope into her ears and pressing the diaphragm to his chest.

‘The work’s already started and we’ve run into some unforeseen problems. There’s an underground chamber that needs to be investigated and made safe. With men and equipment already on-site, every day of delay costs money, even without the cost of the new works. If we don’t raise that money, we can’t afford to complete the project.’

‘And you’re the only one who can do it?’

‘No, but I have the contacts to raise what we need in the time frame we need it. We’re looking for large donations.’

Nell frowned. There might be a grain of truth in Hugo’s assertion that he was indispensable and couldn’t take a break, although she still wasn’t ruling out the possibility that pig-headedness and ego were also factors. ‘I don’t know much about these things but...couldn’t your father help out with a loan?’

‘I’m sure he would have made a donation, and I would have, too. But the Constitution of Montarino forbids it.’

‘Really? You can’t give money to charity?’ Nell’s eyebrows shot up.

‘We can and we do, but it’s very strictly regulated. The royal family is only allowed to donate five percent of the total cost of a public endeavour, and that ceiling has almost been reached already. You can blame my great-great-grandfather for that—he tried to buy up key parts of the country’s infrastructure in an attempt to maintain his influence, and so the legislation was rushed through. For all the right reasons, in my opinion, but at the moment it’s an inconvenience.’

‘But it’s okay if you raise the money?’

‘Yes. History and politics always make things a great deal more complicated.’

As a doctor, this wasn’t complicated at all. But Nell could feel herself being dragged into a world of blurred lines. Hugo’s charm, the way her fingers tingled when she touched his skin. That was one line she couldn’t cross.

‘So you have to rest but you can’t. We’ll have to be creative...’

Hugo chuckled. ‘I’m beginning to like the way you think.’

‘Don’t start liking it too much. If your health’s at risk, I’m going to do everything I can to stop you.’

‘Noted. Does that mean I can do everything I can to stop you from stopping me?’

‘If that means you’re going to get enough rest, and make sure you don’t compromise your recovery, then feel free.’ This war of words was fast becoming a little too intimate. A little too much like the delicious push and pull of meeting someone who could become a very good friend.

But it worked. Hugo nodded, his hand drifting to his chest. ‘So what’s the verdict, then?’

‘Everything looks fine. You can see for yourself.’

He shook his head, and Nell realised that she hadn’t seen him look down at his chest once. ‘I’ll take your word for it. So...the day after tomorrow...’

‘What’s happening then?’

‘It’s a lunchtime fundraiser. I get to sit comfortably in the sun and make a two-minute speech. Actually, you could come along if you like.’

‘There are spare tickets?’

‘I’m your ticket.’

Nell gulped down the realisation that she’d be there as his plus-one. What mattered was that she’d be there, which meant that Hugo would have a doctor, and hopefully a restraining influence, on hand.

‘Okay. Let’s see how you are tomorrow and make the decision then.’ Twenty-four hours and a night’s sleep might just be enough time to get her head straight.

‘Fair enough.’ His green eyes seemed to see right through her. And it was worrying that when he turned his gaze onto her, his lips twitched into a smile.

CHAPTER THREE

NELL HAD SPENT as much of the afternoon as she could unpacking. Laying things into neat piles and hanging dresses in the large wardrobe. Smoothing the already immaculate covers of the great bed, which would have dominated a smaller room but here was simply in proportion. It had been an exercise in restoring order, pushing back the chaos that seemed to follow Hugo like the scent of expensive aftershave.

He seemed intent on playing the host, inviting her for dinner in his apartment. Over a beautifully cooked and presented meal, Hugo talked about the charity that seemed so close to his heart. How they’d raised awareness about heart disease and increased the number of people who had regular ‘healthy heart’ checks. How they wanted to move forward and provide a centre of excellence, which would cater to both inpatients and outpatients, for all the people of Montarino.

It was a dazzling vision. And yet here, at the centre of it all, was a man who felt the need to risk his own health.

She returned to her apartment tired but unable to sleep. A long bath didn’t help, and neither did reading a book. Nell scarcely registered the words in front of her, because Hugo seemed to fill her mind, chasing everything else away. He’d said that he would be going straight to bed after she left, but when she went out into the darkness of the hallway she could still see a sliver of light escaping under the connecting door to his apartment.

She could hear Hugo’s voice, distant and muffled behind the heavy door. Either he was talking to himself or there was someone there.

Someone there. There were pauses, as if he was waiting for an answer and as Nell pressed her ear to the door she thought she heard another voice, this one too low and quiet for her to be even sure whether it was a woman or a man.

Whoever it was, they shouldn’t be there. It was midnight, and Hugo should be asleep by now. Nell’s hand trembled as she took hold of the door handle. Walking into his apartment and telling him to go to bed might be one step too far.

But they’d had an agreement. He’d promised. And Nell had believed him. The feeling of empty disappointment in him spurred her on.

‘Hugo...’ She opened the door an inch, and heard the soft sound of classical music, coming from the room beyond. ‘Are you still up?’

Silence. Then the door handle was pulled out of her grip as Hugo swung the door open, standing in the doorway and blocking her view of the sitting room.

‘This isn’t the time, Nell.’ He spoke quietly, as if he didn’t want the person behind him in the room to hear.

He obviously wanted some privacy and the thought struck Nell that his companion might be a woman. She felt her cheeks flush red. The last thing she wanted to do was come face-to-face with a girlfriend, who for some reason Hugo hadn’t seen fit to mention.

‘I’m...sorry, but we had a deal, Hugo.’

‘I’m aware of that. Something came up.’

‘That’s not good enough...’ Nell stopped herself from telling him that he should be in bed. In the circumstances, that might be a catalyst for even more exertion on his part. She felt her ears begin to burn at the thought.

‘It’s not what you’re thinking, Nell.’

‘Really? What do you think I’m thinking?’ If she really was that transparent then things had just gone from very bad to much worse.

‘What I’d be thinking. But on this occasion, we’d both be wrong.’ He stood back from the doorway, allowing her to see into the room. Two seats were drawn up to a games table, which had been set up by the fireplace, and an elderly man sat in one of them. He wore immaculately pressed pyjamas and held himself erect in his seat. When he turned towards Nell, his milky blue eyes seemed not quite to focus on her.

‘Jacob, we have a visitor. This is Nell.’

‘A pleasure, miss.’ The man spoke quietly, in heavily accented English. Despite his neat appearance, there was something vulnerable about him.

‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jacob.’ Nell went to advance into the room, but Hugo stepped back into her path.

‘Nell can’t stay...’ He threw the words over his shoulder, turning painfully to Nell and motioning to her to comply. She didn’t move.

Hugo took a step forward, and she took a step back, instinctively avoiding touching him. He pulled the door half shut behind them.

‘Jacob is...fragile.’ He was whispering, but Nell could hear both urgency and fatigue in his voice.

‘I can see that. But you need your sleep.’ Whispering back seemed rather too conspiratorial for Nell’s liking but having Jacob hear what was going on didn’t seem like a good idea.

‘I’ll take him back to his apartment as soon as I can.’

‘No, Hugo. You said we’d take things as they came and that you’d accept my help. Let’s give that a trial run now, shall we?’ Hugo hesitated and she glared at him. ‘I’m not going to walk in there and order him out.’

Silently he walked back through the doorway, and Nell followed him. Jacob turned to Hugo, a fond smile on his face. ‘Hugo, my boy... What’s going on?’

‘Nothing. It’s all right, Jacob. I’ve asked Nell to join us.’

‘Very good.’ Jacob seemed to approve of the plan, gesturing towards the draughts, which lay on the chequerboard tabletop. ‘You play, miss?’

‘Not very well.’ Nell smiled at him.

‘Jacob taught me to play thirty years ago.’ Hugo went to pull up a chair for Nell and thought better of it, allowing her to move it across to the table. ‘I used to sneak downstairs when my parents were out in the evening, and we’d play draughts and drink hot chocolate.’

‘Hot chocolate!’ Jacob’s eyes lit up suddenly, and he gestured towards the pot that lay on the coffee table, along with two gold-rimmed cups and saucers. ‘I remember now. Would you like some, miss?’

Maybe that would bring the evening to a close. ‘Thank you. I’ll get another cup, shall I?’

Nell glanced at Hugo, and he nodded, resuming his seat opposite Jacob. His smile barely concealed his fatigue and he was moving as if he was in pain. The sooner they could end, this the better.

As Nell walked to the kitchen, she heard the two men talking quietly in French behind her.

‘Who is she, Hugo?’

‘She’s a doctor, and her name’s Nell.’

Hugo repeated the words, no hint in his tone that this wasn’t the first time he’d told Jacob.

‘A doctor? What does she want?’ Jacob’s voice took on an air of perplexed worry.

‘She’s here for me. Not you, my friend.’ Hugo’s tone was smooth, reassuring.

‘Where’s she going?’

‘Just to get another cup. We’re having hot chocolate.’

‘Ah, yes. Hot chocolate and draughts...’

Jacob’s memory had become fragmented by time. Some things were still clear in his mind, but he was groping in the dark, trying to make sense of others. It was common in patients who had dementia, and it was clear that Hugo was trying to reassure Jacob by re-creating the sights and sounds of things he did remember. The sound the counters made on the draughts board. The taste of hot chocolate. But that was all coming with a cost to him.