Steel Resolve

She smiled up at him. He knew her so well, her lover, her husband, her best friend. “It’s Mary. Stacy told me earlier that she mailed a letter from Mary to Chase a few weeks ago. Mary hasn’t heard back.”

Hud groaned. “You have any idea what was in the letter?”

“No, but since she’s been moping around I’d say she is still obviously in love with him.” She shrugged. “I don’t think she’s ever gotten over him.”

Her husband shook his head. “Why didn’t we have all boys?”

“Our sons will fall in love one day and will probably have their heartbreaks as well.” She had the feeling that Hud hadn’t heard the latest. “She’s going out with Deputy Dillon Ramsey tonight.”

Hud swore and raked a hand through his graying hair. “I shouldn’t have mentioned that there was something about him that made me nervous.”

She laughed. “If you’re that worried about him, then why don’t you talk to her?”

Her husband shot her a look that said he knew their stubborn daughter only too well. “Tell her not to do something and damned if she isn’t even more bound and determined to do it.”

Like he had to tell her that. Mary was just like her mother and grandmother. “It’s just a date,” Dana said, hoping there wasn’t anything to worry about.

Hud grumbled under his breath as he reached for his Stetson. “I have to get back to work.” His look softened. “You think she’s all right?”

Dana wished she knew. “She will be, given time. I think she needs to get some closure from Chase. His not answering her letter could be what she needed to move on.”

“I hope not with Dillon Ramsey.”

“Seriously, what is it about him that worries you?” Dana asked.

He frowned. “I can’t put my finger on it. I hired him as a favor to his uncle down in Wyoming. Dillon’s cocky and opinionated.”

Dana laughed. “I used to know a deputy like that.”

Hud grinned. “Point taken. He’s also still green.”

“I don’t think that’s the part that caught Mary’s attention.”

Her husband groaned. “I’d like to see her with someone with both feet firmly planted on the ground.”

“You mean someone who isn’t in law enforcement. Chase Steele wasn’t.”

“I liked him well enough,” Hud said grudgingly. “But he hadn’t sowed his wild oats yet. They were both too young, and he needed to get out of here and get some maturity under his belt, so to speak.”

“She wanted him to stay and fight for her. Sound familiar?”

Hud’s smile was sad. “Sometimes a man has to go out into the world, grow up, figure some things out.” He reached for her hand. “That’s what I did when I left. It made me realize what I wanted. You.”

She stepped into his arms, leaning into his strength, thankful for the years they’d had together raising a family on this ranch. “Mary’s strong.”

“Like her mother.”

“She’ll be all right,” Dana said, hoping it was true.

* * *

CHASE WAS DETERMINED to drive as far as he could the first day, needing to put miles behind him. He thought of Fiona and felt sick to his stomach. He kept going over it in his head, trying to understand if he’d done anything to lead her on beyond that one night. He was clear with her that he was not in the market for anything serious. His biggest mistake though was allowing himself a moment of weakness when he’d let himself be seduced.

But before that he’d explained to her that he was in love with someone else. She said she didn’t care. That she wasn’t looking for a relationship. She’d said that she needed him that night because she’d had a bad day.

Had he really fallen for that? He had. And when she became obsessed, he’d been shocked and felt sorry for her. Maybe he shouldn’t have.

He felt awful, and not even the miles he put behind him made him feel better. He wished he’d never left Montana, but at the time, leaving seemed the only thing to do. He’d worked his way south, taking carpenter jobs, having no idea where he was headed.

When he’d gotten the call from his mother to say she was dying and that she’d needed to see him, he’d quit his job, packed up and headed for Quartsite, Arizona, in hopes that his mother would finally give him the name.

Chase had never known who his father was. It was a secret his mother refused to reveal for reasons of her own. Once in Arizona, though, he’d realized that she planned to take that secret to her grave. On her death bed, she’d begged him to do one thing for her. Would he take her ashes back to Montana and scatter them in the Gallatin Canyon near Big Sky?

“That’s where I met your father,” she said, her voice weak. “He was the love of my life.”

She hadn’t given him a name, but at least he knew now that the man had lived in Big Sky at the time of Chase’s conception. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

* * *

HE WAS IN the middle of nowhere just outside of Searchlight, Nevada, when smoke began to boil out from under the pickup’s hood. He started to pull over when the engine made a loud sound and stopped dead. As he rolled to stop, his first thought was: could Fiona have done something to his pickup before he left?

Anger filled him to overflowing. But it was another emotion that scared him. He had a sudden awful feeling that something terrible was going to happen to Mary if he didn’t get to Montana. Soon. The feeling was so strong that he thought about leaving his pickup beside the road and thumbing a ride the rest of the way.

Chase tried to tamp down the feeling, telling himself that it was because of Fiona and what she’d done before he’d left when she’d tried to kill him, not to mention what she’d done to his pickup. The engine was shot. He’d have to get a new one and that was going to take a while.

That bad feeling though wouldn’t go away. After he called for a tow truck, he dialed the Jensen Ranch, the closest ranch to Mary’s. He figured if anyone would know how Mary was doing, it would be Beth Anne Jensen. She answered on the third ring. “It’s Chase.” He heard the immediate change in her voice and realized she was probably the wrong person to call, but it was too late. Beth Anne had liked him a little too much when he’d worked for her family and it had caused a problem between him and Mary.

“Hey Chase. Are you back in town?”

“No, I was just calling to check on Mary. I was worried about her. I figured you’d know how she’s doing. Is everything all right with her?”

Beth Anne’s tone changed from sugar to vinegar. “As far as I know everything is just great with her. Is that all you wanted to know?”

This was definitely a mistake. “How are you?”

“I opened my own flower shop. I’ve been dating a rodeo cowboy. I’m just fine, as if you care.” She sighed. “So if you’re still hung up on Mary, why haven’t you come back?”

Stubbornness. Stupidity. Pride. A combination of all three. “I just had a sudden bad feeling that she might be in trouble.”

Beth Anne laughed. “Could be, now that you mention it. My brother saw her earlier out with some young deputy. Apparently, she’s dating him.”

“Sounds like she’s doing fine then. Thanks. You take care.” He swore as he disconnected and put his worry about Mary out of his mind. She should be plenty safe dating a deputy, right? He gave his front tire a kick, then paced as he waited for the tow truck.

* * *

IT HAD TAKEN hours before the tow truck had arrived. By then the auto shop was closed. He’d registered at a motel, taken a hot shower and sprawled on the bed, furious with Fiona, but even more so with himself.

He’d known he had a serious problem when he’d seen the smoke roiling out from under the hood. When the engine seized up, he’d known it was blown before he’d climbed out and lifted the hood.

At first, he couldn’t understand what had happened. The pickup wasn’t brand-new, but it had been in good shape. The first thing he’d checked was the oil. That’s when he’d smelled it. Bleach.

The realization had come in a flash. He’d thrown a container of bleach away in his garbage just that morning, along with some other household cleaners that he didn’t want to carry all the way back to Montana. He’d seen the bleach bottle when he’d tossed Fiona’s knife into one of the trash cans at the curb.

Now, lying on the bed in the motel, Chase swore. He’d left Fiona out there alone with his pickup. He’d thought the only mischief she’d gotten up to was writing on his pickup window with lipstick. He’d underestimated her, and now it was going to cost him dearly. He’d have to have a new engine put in the truck, and that was going to take both money and time.

* * *

THREE DAYS LATER, while waiting in Henderson, Nevada for his new engine to be installed, he called Rick.

“Hey, Chase, great to hear from you. How far did you make it? I thought you might have decided to drive straight through all night.”

“I broke down near Searchlight.”

“Really? Is it serious?”

“I’m afraid so. The engine blew. I suspect Fiona put bleach in the oil.”

Rick let out a curse. “That would seize up the engine.”

“That’s exactly what it did.”

“Oh, man I am so sorry. Listen, I am beginning to feel like this is all my fault. Is there anything I can do? Where are you now? I could drive up there, maybe bring one of the big trailers. We could haul your pickup back down here. I know a mechanic—”

“I appreciate it, but I’m getting it fixed here in Henderson. That’s not why I called.”

“It’s funny you should call,” Rick said. “I was about to call you, but I kept putting it off hoping to have better news.”

His heart began to pound. “What’s wrong?”

His former boss let out a dry chuckle. “We’re still friends, right?”

“Right. I forgave you for Fiona if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You might change your mind after you hear what I have to tell you,” Rick said. “I didn’t want you to hear this on the news.” He felt his stomach drop as he waited for the bad news. “Fiona apparently hasn’t been at work since before you left. Patty went over to her place. Her car was gone and there was no sign of her. But she’d called Patty the night you left from a bar and was pretty wasted and incoherent. When Patty wasn’t able to reach her in the days that followed, she finally went over to her condo. It appeared she hadn’t been back for a few days.” Chase swore. She wouldn’t hurt herself, would she? She’d said he would regret it. He felt a sliver of fear race up his spine. As delusional as the woman was—

Rick cleared his voice. “This morning a fisherman found her car in the Colorado River.”

His breath caught in his throat. “Is she...?”

“They’re dragging the river for her body, but it’s hard to say how far her body might have gone downstream. The river was running pretty high after the big thunderstorm they had up in the mountains a few days ago.”

Chase raked a hand through his hair as he paced the floor of his motel room as he’d been doing for days now. “She threatened to do all kinds of things, but I never thought she’d do something like this.”

“Before you jump to conclusions, the police think it could have been an accident. Fiona was caught on video leaving the club that night and appeared to be quite inebriated,” Rick said. “Look, this isn’t your fault. I debated even telling you. Fiona was irrational. My wife said she’s feared that the woman’s been headed for a violent end for a long time, you know?”

He nodded to himself as he stopped to look out the motel room window at the heat waves rising off desert floor and yearned for Montana. “Still I hate to think she might have done this on purpose because of me.”

“She wasn’t right in the head. Anyway, it was probably an accident. I’m sorry to call with this kind of news, but I thought you’d want to know. Once your pickup’s fixed you’ll be heading out and putting all of this behind you. Still thinking about going to Colorado? You know I’d love to have you back.”

No reason not to tell him now. “I’m headed home as soon as the pickup’s fixed, but thanks again for the offer.”

“Home to Montana? You really never got over this woman, huh.”

“No, I never did.” He realized that when he thought of home, it was Mary he thought of. Her and the Gallatin Canyon. “It’s where I grew up. Where I first fell in love.”

“Well, I wish you luck. I hope it goes well.”

“Thanks. If you hear anything else about Fiona—”

“I’ll keep it to myself.”

“No, call me. I really didn’t know the woman. But I care about what happened to her.” He thought of the first night he’d seen her, all dressed up in that dark suit and looking so strong and capable. And the other times when she’d stopped by his apartment looking as if she’d just come home from spring break and acting the part. “It was like she was always changing before my eyes. I never knew who she was. I’m not sure she did.”

He and Rick said goodbye again. Disconnecting, he pocketed his phone. He couldn’t help wondering about Fiona’s last moments underwater inside her car. Did she know how to swim? He had no idea. Was it too deep for her to reach the surface? Or had she been swept away?

Chase felt sad, but he knew there was no way he could have helped her. She wanted a man committed to her, and she deserved it. But as he’d told her that first night, he wasn’t that man.

If only he had known how broken and damaged she was. He would have given her a wide berth. He should have anyway, and now he blamed himself for his moment of weakness. That night he’d needed someone, but that someone had been Mary, not a woman he didn’t know. Not Fiona.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” He hoped that maybe now Fiona would finally be at peace.

Looking toward the wide-open horizon, he turned his thoughts to Mary. He couldn’t wait to look into her beautiful blue eyes and tell her that he’d never stopped loving her. That thought made him even more anxious. He couldn’t wait to get home.

* * *

DILLON WALKED HER to her door and waited while Mary pulled out her keys.

“I had a wonderful time,” he said as he leaned casually against the side of her building as if waiting to see if she was going to invite him up. Clouds scudded past the full moon to disappear over the mountaintops surrounding the canyon. The cool night air smelled of pine and clear blue trout stream water. This part of Montana was a little bit of Heaven, her mother was fond of saying. Mary agreed.

She’d left a light on in her apartment on the top floor. It glowed a warm inviting golden hue.

“I had fun too,” she said, and considered asking him up to see the view from what she jokingly called her penthouse. The balcony off the back would be especially nice tonight. But her tongue seemed tied, and suddenly she felt tired and close to tears.

“I should go,” Dillon said, his gaze locking with hers. He seemed about to take a step back, but changed his mind and leaned toward her. His hand cupped her jaw as he kissed her. Chastely at first, then with more ardor, gently drawing her to him. The kiss took her by surprise. Their first date he hadn’t even tried.

His tongue probed her mouth for a moment before he ended the kiss as abruptly as it had begun. Stepping back, he seemed to study her in the moonlight for a moment before he said, “I really do have to go. Maybe we could do something this weekend if you aren’t busy?”

She nodded dumbly. She and Dillon were close to the same age, both adults. She’d expected him to kiss her on their first date. So her surprise tonight had nothing to do with him kissing her, she thought as she entered her building, locking the door behind her and hurrying up to her apartment.

It had everything to do with the kiss.

Mary unlocked her apartment door with trembling fingers, stepped in and locked it behind her. She leaned against the door, hot tears filling her eyes as she told herself she shouldn’t be disappointed. But she was.

The kiss had been fine, as far as kisses went. But even when Dillon had deepened the kiss, she had felt nothing but emptiness. The memory made her feel sick. Would she always compare every kiss with Chase’s? Would every man she met come up lacking?

She didn’t bother to turn on a lamp as she tossed her purse down and headed toward her bedroom, furious with herself. And even more furious with Chase. He’d left her and Montana as if what they had together meant nothing to him. Clearly it didn’t. That’s why he’d gotten engaged and wasn’t man enough to call her himself and tell her.

Still mentally kicking herself for writing that letter to him, she changed into her favorite T-shirt and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Her image in the mirror startled her. She was no longer that young girl that Chase had fallen in love with. She was a woman in her own right. She dried her tears, the crying replaced with angry determination. If that was the way Chase wanted to be, then it was fine with her.

Her cell phone rang, startling her. She hurried to it, and for just a moment she thought it was going to be Chase. Her heart had soared, then come crashing down. Chase had moved on. When was she going to accept that?

“I couldn’t quit thinking about you after I left,” Dillon said. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to the movies tomorrow night?”

She didn’t hesitate. “I’d love to.” Maybe she just hadn’t been ready for his kiss. Maybe next time...

“Great,” Dillon said. “I’ll pick you up at 5:30 if that’s all right. We can grab something to eat before we go to the theater.”

“Sounds perfect.” If Chase could see her now, she thought as she hung up. Dillon was handsome, but less rugged looking than Chase. Taller though by a good inch or two, and he wanted to go out with her.

She disconnected, determined to put Chase Steele behind her. He had moved on and now she was too. Next time, she would invite Dillon up to her apartment. But even as she thought it, she imagined Chase and the woman he was engaged to. While she was busy comparing every man she met to him, he’d found someone and fallen in love. It made her question if what she and Chase once had was really that unique and special. Just because it had been for her...

Mary willed herself not to think about him. She touched her tongue to her lower lip. Dillon had made her laugh, and he’d certainly been attentive. While the kiss hadn’t spurred a reaction in her, she was willing to give it another chance.

Her father didn’t trust the man, so didn’t that mean that there was more to Dillon than met the eye? Chase had always been a little wild growing up. Her father had been worried about her relationship with him. Maybe there was some wildness in Dillon that would make him more interesting.

As she fell asleep though, her thoughts returned to Chase until her heart was aching and tears were leaking onto her pillow.

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