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“Quilting. We were making a wedding gift for my cousin. Caring for horses isn’t all I know how to do.” She offered him a handkerchief from her pocket.
He used it to wipe his hands. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I can cook, clean, sew and manage a house. I just prefer taking care of horses.”
“I don’t blame you. Mamm made all her sons learn to cook, in case we had to take care of ourselves again. I learned, but I never liked it. Actually, Timothy is a good cook. Samuel, Joshua and I can get by, but Luke can’t boil water.”
He was stalling, trying to decide if he was making the right decision. Going out with Fannie wouldn’t be that bad, would it? He liked horses almost as much as she did. That would give them something to talk about. How would she feel about his playing ball all summer? She said she wasn’t ready to settle down, and he believed her, but what if she changed her mind after going out with him? He didn’t mind teasing her, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings if she fell for him.
She tipped her head to the side. “When did you and your brothers have to take care of yourselves?”
He realized she didn’t know the story. He launched into it with relief. Anything to delay the moment.
“When I was two, my mother became very ill. So ill that my father feared for her life. The way she tells it, there was a terrible blizzard. Rather than risk taking all of us out in the storm, Daed left Samuel in charge, bundled my mother in all the quilts we could spare and set out for the doctor’s office in town. The doctor was able to get mother to the hospital, but the storm was so bad that Daed couldn’t get back. Samuel took care of us and all the farm animals for three days until the blizzard let up. All we had to eat for those three days was bread soaked in milk with honey, because Samuel didn’t know how to cook anything.”
“How old was he?”
“If I was two, he would have been ten.”
“By the time I was ten I could cook almost anything—fried chicken, baked ham.”
“How is your bread?”
She folded her arms over her chest. “I make goot bread.”
“And your cakes?”
“Light as a feather angel food, or do you prefer dense, gooey shoofly pie?”
“Shoofly, hands down. What about your egg noodles?”
“They could be better but they won’t choke you. Why all the questions about my cooking?”
He took a deep breath. “My daed always said a man should never date a woman he wouldn’t marry. I’ll never marry a bad cook, so I won’t date one.”
She clasped her hands together. “So you are going to walk out with me?”
He rubbed his damp palms on his pants. “I want you to know that I’ll be playing ball a lot this summer. You might miss some parties and such because I won’t be able to take you.”
“That’s okay. I’m not much of a party person. Besides, I’ll be busy with my equestrian team. But we will have to see each other often enough to convince my parents we are dating.”
“Okay. I guess I’m in.”
She jumped at him and gave him a quick hug before he could stop her. Then she flew out of the stall calling back, “I have to tell Connie.”
What had he gotten himself into? Would a summer of being paraded before unknown and hopeful women be worse than a summer of Fannie?
It would, because his parents would make sure he stopped playing ball. He couldn’t let that happen. His friends were depending on him and he needed to know if he was good enough to become a professional player. God would decide, but Noah knew he’d have to do the work.
Fannie rushed back into the stall a few seconds later. “Danki, Noah. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“We are helping each other. I think.”
Moving to stand in front of him, she gazed into his eyes. “If you truly feel this is wrong, Noah, you shouldn’t do it. I’ll find another way.”
“It isn’t exactly honest, but we aren’t hurting anyone. I’ve walked out with a few girls and it never led to marriage. There’s no reason I can’t take you home from church a few times or to a party to see if we would suit.”
She drew back. “We won’t. I’m sure of it. You are not the man I want to marry.”
“Goot to know. I was worried.”
“Don’t be. By the end of August, I’ll be ready to take Betsy’s place in Florida if she wants to come home. You’re right, we aren’t hurting anyone. Betsy wants to go in my place. She is much better at caring for the elderly than I am, and our grandparents deserve the best.”
“I see your point there.”
“Do you? Connie does need my help, too. You can see that for yourself. This place will soon be on its last legs.”
“That’s no lie,” George Milton said from the doorway. A handsome man with dark hair and dark eyes, George was an English fellow a couple of years younger than Noah. Noah knew him only slightly.
“This is a private conversation, George.” Fannie leveled a sour look at him.
“Excuse me!” He rolled his eyes and walked on.
“You don’t care for him?” Noah asked. He didn’t, either.
“He is sloppy in his work. As I was saying, I’ll enjoy riding on the drill team enormously, I won’t lie about that, but I can and will be as much help to my mother as Betsy would be. Plus, I can still help my father with his horses. I’m willing to work hard and see that no one suffers because of this decision.”
Noah’s conscience pricked him. Fannie’s reasons for this pretend courtship were more selfless than his. He simply wanted to keep playing ball.
Her face brightened. “I won’t make demands on your time, Noah. If you happen to like one of the women coming to visit, I’ll step aside and give you free rein.”
He managed a half smile. “A fella isn’t likely to get such a generous offer from a normal girlfriend.”
She slapped his shoulder. “Well, you are a fortunate fellow, Noah Bowman. I’m not an ordinary girlfriend.”
With a toss of her pretty head that reminded him of her spirited mare, Fannie walked out of the stall with a sassy stride that drew his attention to her trim figure. Among the earthy and familiar smells of the stable, he caught a whiff of something flowery.
Nope, there was nothing ordinary about Fannie.
Realizing he’d forgotten to give her the kapp she had dropped, he pulled it from his pocket and lifted it to his nose. A scent that reminded him of his mother’s flower garden in summer clung to the fabric. Since Amish women didn’t use perfume, he knew the smell must be from the shampoo Fannie used.
Flowery and sweet. Not what he expected from a girl who spent most of her time with horses.
He walked out into the arena and saw her with a half-dozen other Amish girls. They were saddling Connie’s horses. All of the girls eyed him intently as Fannie left them to speak to him. “The rest of my team is here. Do you want to watch us practice?”
“Another time. Walter is waiting outside to drive us to our game in Berlin. Do they all know about us?” He jerked his head toward the girls.
“Only Connie knows.”
He squared his shoulders and held out Fannie’s kapp. “That’s a relief. I guess I should get this over with. Fannie, may I take you home after church tomorrow?”
She glanced over her shoulder and then leaned close. “If you have to grit your teeth to ask me out, Noah, no one will believe we like each other.”
His mouth fell open. He snapped it shut and glared at her. “That is exactly what I said. Ja or nee, Fannie. Can I take you home after church or not? I don’t have all day.”
Her sweet smile didn’t reach her eyes. “As much as I would like to refuse your kind offer, I won’t. I will almost be happy to go out with you.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “And I will be sincerely happy when this charade is over.”
She took a step closer and whispered, “Not nearly as happy as I will be.”
“You ungrateful minx. Enjoy your time in Florida.” He turned away.
She caught his arm before he had taken a single step. “I’m sorry, Noah. Really. Please don’t go away mad. I will do better.”
“I must be ab en kopp, off in the head. Otherwise, why would I be here?”
She looked over her shoulder and then turned to him with resignation written across her face. “You’re right. No one will believe we are a couple. I’m not as pretty as the girls you’ve gone out with in the past. I’m much too horsey for most men to look my way. I don’t know how to act around a fella who shows some interest, so I act as if I don’t care. You’ve been a friend to me in the past and I hope that we can be friends again in the future. I’m sorry I put you in an awkward situation.”
If she had been a motherless kitten, she couldn’t have looked more forlorn. It was too bad he had a soft spot for kittens. He looked toward the group of young women watching them and sighed heavily. “Fannie, we might not be friends after this, but your teammates are gonna believe we’re a couple.”
Calling himself every kind of fool, he took her by the shoulders, pulled her close and kissed her cheek. Then he beat a hasty retreat before she had time to react.
* * *
Fannie pressed a hand to her tingling face. Had Noah wanted to kiss her, or had he done it purely for effect?
For the effect, the sensible part of her insisted. The less sensible part of her wondered if he liked her—just a little. She stared at the door where he’d disappeared until the sound of giggling and a wolf whistle penetrated the fog in her mind.
She turned to face her teammates, ignoring George’s leering stare from across the arena. “We have a lot of work to do and only a short time to do it. Mount up. Zoe, start the music.”
Connie came over and handed Fannie Trinket’s reins as the strains of “She’ll Be Coming ’Round the Mountain” blared from a speaker on the arena railing. The group had decided on the song because the rolling cadence of the music matched the gait of their horses.
Connie held on to Trinket’s reins as she gazed at Fannie’s face. “Just remember that people who play with fire often get burned.”
“I’m not going to get burned,” Fannie said quietly, praying that was true. “I know the difference between real and pretend.”
“For your sake, I hope so.”
* * *
Every time Fannie looked up from her hymnal on Sunday morning, she caught sight of Noah’s reflection in the mirror on the wall behind the bishop and preachers at the front of the room, and she started thinking about Noah’s kiss all over again.
The service was being held at the home of John Miller, the local blacksmith. The widower lived with his mother on a small farm a mile from Fannie’s home. Like many Amish homes, the walls of the downstairs could be opened up to accommodate members of the congregation during services that were held every other Sunday. Wooden benches had been placed in two rows where women sat on one side while the men sat on the other.
She should be minding the words of the bishop’s preaching, but all Fannie could think about was riding home with Noah that evening. After the singing that would be held for the youth following supper. After dark.
Would he kiss her again?
She gave herself a mental shake. The whole idea was ridiculous. How could she pretend to be interested in Noah when she wasn’t? The longer she thought about it, and she’d spent most of the night thinking about it, the less she wanted to go through with it. The only answer was to call the whole thing off.
She couldn’t silence the talk among the girls who’d seen him kiss her, but it would die down and none of them were likely to spread the story if Noah didn’t come around again. George would forget about it soon enough, and he knew very few Amish folk.
Calling it off was the right decision. She would tell Noah as soon as she had the chance.
She glanced at the mirror again. She could see a half dozen of the young unmarried men and boys in the reflection. They were all seated at the back of the room nearest the door. They would be the first to leave when the three-hour service was over. Several of them drew frowns from the ministers by their restlessness as the end approached. Fannie couldn’t blame them. The backless wooden benches were hard. She focused again on the heavy black songbook in her hands. She had been desperate, and her spur-of-the-moment plan had been foolish. There had to be a better way. If only she could think of one.
“Why is Noah Bowman watching you?” Betsy whispered in her ear.
Fannie glanced up and met Noah’s eyes in the mirror. He nodded slightly to acknowledge her. A rush of heat filled her cheeks and she looked down quickly. “I have no idea.”
“Shveshtah, you’re blushing.” Betsy smirked, causing several nearby worshippers to look their way.
Fannie shot her sister a fierce stare and Betsy turned her attention back to the bishop. Fannie glanced in the mirror again.
Unlike yesterday, Noah was dressed plain in black pants and a black coat over a pale blue shirt. He was indistinguishable from the other Amish men around him except for the shorter haircut he wore. He wasn’t the most handsome one of the Bowman brothers. Luke was the best looking while Samuel was the most hardworking, but Noah was nice looking in his own way. She liked his eyes the best. Her sister called them forget-me-not blue. Fannie liked the way they sparkled when he smiled. And he was almost always smiling.
Except when he was around her.
Not that she smiled that much around him, either. Ever since that evening in his mother’s garden, they seemed to rub each other the wrong way. Fannie couldn’t put her finger on the reason.
People around her began singing and Fannie joined in, knowing it was the final hymn of the service. Normally the preaching seemed long, but not today. Today it ended all too quickly. When she walked outside, Noah was waiting for her off to the side of the house with his straw hat in his hands. She clutched her fingers together and walked toward him.
“You look like a martyr heading to your own execution. Try smiling.” He nodded to someone behind her.
Fannie swallowed the comment that sprang to her lips and smiled instead. “Is this better?”
“Vennich.”
“A little is better than nothing.” She looked over her shoulder and saw his mother smiling warmly at them. Anna winked at her and waved before snagging Fannie’s mother by the arm, and the two of them walked away with their heads close together.
Fannie kept her grin in place with difficulty as she turned back to Noah. “You didn’t tell your mother we were going out, did you?”
He gave her a sheepish look and shrugged. “I kind of did.”
Fannie pointed to their mothers as they stood talking to each other. “She’s going to tell my mother, and I haven’t mentioned it to her.”
“Mamm put me on the spot.”
“In what way?”
He grabbed Fannie’s arm and led her around the side of the building. “She said I had to end my rumspringa and look for a wife this summer. She meant it, so I told her I was already seeing you. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? This was your idea.”
Why hadn’t she thought this through before rushing over to see Noah? “I was thinking my mother was the only one who needed to believe we were going out. I didn’t consider how your mother would feel about it.”
“She’s thrilled. Very, very thrilled.”
Fannie closed her eyes and cringed. “Of course she is. She and my mother are the best of friends. How are we going to break it to them that we aren’t getting married?”
“Whoa. Slow down, Fannie. Don’t get ahead of yourself. We haven’t had a date yet. Let’s stick to the plan at least until the second week of August.”
That was the weekend of the Horse Expo, but he didn’t know that. “Why then?”
“The state invitational baseball tournament is being held that weekend.”
She took a step away from him. “Wait a minute. You told your mother we were going out so you could keep playing baseball this summer?”
“Don’t take that tone with me. I have my reasons for agreeing to this just like you had your reasons for coming up with this idea.”
And to think she had been wondering if he liked her even a little. “It’ll never work. I’m sorry I ever suggested it.”
“Don’t be hasty. I’m willing to give it a try, unless you have your heart set on leaving for Florida next week.”
She folded her arms across her middle. How could she tell Connie she’d changed her mind after assuring her friend she would help her? She couldn’t. “It looks like you and I are stuck with each other for the summer. Very well. What are your plans for our first date?”
“We do what normal people do. We’ll stay for the singing tonight and I’ll take you home afterward.”
“Don’t expect an invitation to come in and visit, the way normal couples do.”
“If I get home too early, my parents are going to think we didn’t hit it off.”
“So drive around for an hour or two.”
“I’m not wearing out a good horse just to make you happy.”
“You wouldn’t know a good horse if you tripped over one.”
“How can you, of all people, say that?”
She opened her mouth to reply, but his brother Joshua came around the corner of the building. “Here you are. It’s our turn to go in and eat, Noah.”
“Danki, I’m coming.”
Joshua smiled at Fannie. “Would you care to join Mary and Hannah when they go in? I know they would enjoy visiting with you.”
“Danki, Joshua, but I have to find my sister.”
“We are getting up a game of horseshoes after lunch. Noah and I will take on you and your sister, won’t we, bruder?” Joshua seemed intent on getting her together with the rest of Noah’s family. Had Noah’s mother told them all that she and Noah were dating?
She forced a bright smile for Noah. “I’d love the chance to beat Noah at any game of his choosing.”
Joshua laughed. “Well, don’t pick baseball. Did he tell you he pitched a no-hitter yesterday? Against the league champions from last year. Everyone at the fire station thinks this year’s trophy will look awesome on our wall. The boy has an amazing arm.”
Fannie was surprised when Joshua winked at her, too. “I’m glad he’s finally showing some sense in his personal life.”
She wanted to sink into the ground.
Joshua left when he heard the sound of his wife’s voice calling him, but Noah lingered.
Fannie’s temper cooled rapidly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. We seem to be trapped by our little deception. Do we tell them now or let them down gradually?”
“Gradually, I guess. We started this so we might as well finish it. The next time I have a brilliant idea, don’t listen to me.”
“I won’t.”
She stared at her feet for a long moment. “A no-hitter. Wow, that’s quite an accomplishment.”
“It was due more to great fielding by the team than my pitching. Gott smiled on us.”
She was glad to hear him giving credit to others and to God. The awkward silence grew between them. Finally, she said, “I do need to find my sister.”
“Sure. See you later at the horseshoe pit.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t think I’ll take it easy on you,” he said as he walked away.
“The thought never crossed my mind, but you’d better not.”
A small grin curved his lips. There was a distinct twinkle in his eyes. “You won’t knock me in the head with a horseshoe, will you?”
“I have already promised to stop throwing things at you.”
“Goot. I’ll hold you to that.” His grin turned to a wide smile just before he rounded the corner.
Fannie leaned back against the wall of the house as a funny feeling settled in the center of her stomach. He sure was an attractive fellow when he smiled.
She shook her head at her own foolishness. “I’m not going to fall for him. This was definitely my worst idea yet.”
It would be difficult to guard her emotions if she had to spend much time in his company. If he was being nice to her, she wasn’t sure she could do it.
Chapter Four
“I’m glad that’s over with.” Noah held out his hand to help Fannie into his open buggy after the singing that evening.
“So am I.” Fannie ignored his hand and climbed in by herself. “Did you see everyone staring at me when I first came in? I almost turned and ran.”
“Now that you mention it, I can’t think of the last time I saw you at a young people’s gathering.”
“They’re a waste of time if you aren’t shopping for a potential spouse.”
“Not everyone is looking to marry. A lot of us just want to have fun.”
“The boys are there for fun. The girls are all looking for someone to marry. I noticed plenty of them eyeing you. Especially the bishop’s visiting nieces. In the future, could you at least act as if you are interested in me?”
“Maybe I’m not that good of an actor,” he snapped.
“Work on it or this will be pointless.” She scooted as far away from him as she could get without falling out the other side of his buggy.
She was right to rebuke him. He had neglected her, but a group of his friends had wanted to talk baseball. He got caught up in the conversation until it was almost time to go home. That’s when he noticed Fannie sitting beside her sister and her sister’s beau, and recalled why she was there. He’d spent the last half hour sitting beside Fannie but mostly talking to Hiram as Fannie fumed. He knew the buggy ride home was going to be a rough one.
Deciding he should smooth the troubled waters with a compliment or two, he climbed in beside her. “I noticed during the singing tonight that Gott has given you a fine voice.”
“Danki. You have a pleasant voice, too.” She stared straight ahead with her arms clasped tight across her middle. Was she nervous? It wasn’t as if it was a real date.
“You don’t have to hang off the side. I don’t bite.”
“I do,” she quipped, but she relented and inched a little closer.
“Do you want to drive?” He offered her the reins.
She looked at him then. “Why?”
“I’m just asking. I know you’re almost as good a driver as I am.”
She sat up straight and planted her hands on her hips. “Almost as good?”
He flinched at her offended tone. That had been the wrong choice of words. So much for smoother waters. “Do you want to drive or not?”
“All right.” She accepted the reins and neatly turned Willy to head out of John Miller’s yard. It was after ten o’clock, and the other couples and singles were already gone.
Noah propped his feet on the dash rail and crossed his hands behind his head. “Willy has a tendency to drift to the left.”
“I see that.” She corrected the horse’s line and stopped him at the highway, where John Miller’s lane intersected it at the top of a steep hill. When she was sure the way was clear, she eased Willy out onto the blacktop.
At the bottom of the hill, a hundred yards away, the road ended in a T. Beyond the roadway the tree-lined river slipped silently through the farmland. Fannie turned Willy onto the road that skirted the riverbank. Breaks in the trees occasionally gave Noah a glimpse of moonlight rippling on the water’s surface.
He studied Fannie’s face as she sat beside him. A soft wind fluttered the ribbons of her kapp and tugged at the curls she tried so hard to confine. She held the reins with confidence, as he knew she would. He’d seen her helping her father train horses to pull buggies since she was knee-high. “Nice night for a drive.”
“I reckon. Driving at night makes me nervous.”
So the unflappable Fannie had a weakness. “Why?”
“I’m always afraid a car will come up behind me too fast and run into me.”
“It happens. We can’t know when Gott will test our faith with such a trial. Do you want me to take over?”
“Nee. I must overcome this fear.”
He worried about the tremor in her voice. She really was scared—but determined. “What do you think of Willy?” he asked, to take her mind off her apprehension.
“He’s a sweet goer. Nice smooth gait. A high stepper but not absurdly high. He has a soft mouth and responds to a light touch on the reins. He’s a goot gaul.”