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“Bye, Mr. Miles,” Noah said, following her. “Bye, Sophie.”
Garrett waved, and so did Sophie, and Libby imagined the hard time he was probably having. She wished him well. Being a single parent wasn’t easy. Being a parent of a child who might have undergone some kind of trauma was even harder. He definitely had his work cut out for him.
After paying for their dinner, Libby and Noah stepped outside and walked to their car. Driving toward Noah’s day care provider’s house, she rolled down her window and inhaled deeply, breathing in the warm, early September evening.
“I like it a lot here, don’t you, Mom?” Noah asked from the backseat.
“It’s a nice town, yes.”
“Mr. Miles is a nice man.”
Libby glanced in her rearview mirror, wondering what Noah might be up to. But the sun had already set and shadows kept her from seeing his face. “Yes, he’s nice. He comes into Lou’s two or three times a week.”
“Are you good friends with him?”
She nearly laughed. “No, not good friends,” she answered, as honestly as she could. She wasn’t quite sure what to call her odd relationship with Garrett. “Just friends, I guess.”
Silence settled over the car, and she thought about how well they were doing in Desperation. Noah liked school and had made several new friends. She didn’t mind her job at the tavern. It didn’t pay badly, and the tips were often more than satisfying. They did all right.
But she knew it might not be a forever thing. Anything could happen, and she had to be careful. Thanks to an underground group, she’d managed to get Noah and herself out of Phoenix without being followed by her ex-husband. They had new names, new identities, new everything, and she hoped it would all continue to work out well. But in the back of her mind, there were always the memories of the abuse she’d endured from her ex-husband and the fear she’d had that he might do the same to their son. And maybe, just maybe he had.
GARRETT UNLOCKED THE FRONT DOOR, nudged it open with his shoulder and stepped inside to flip on the light switch. “Did you like your dinner?” he asked, as Sophie followed closely behind him. He looked back to see her nodding, a small, shy smile turning up the corners of her mouth.
He walked to the TV and turned it on, remembering that there were a few channels that broadcast nothing but cartoons all day and night. Maybe that would keep Sophie entertained until he could get his head together and figure out what he needed to do next.
“How’s this?” he asked, as a big gray cat chased a little mouse under a table on the screen. She nodded, and he pointed to the sofa, while grabbing a small pillow for her. “You can sit there, if you want to.”
She took the pillow he handed her, then climbed onto the sofa and curled up in the corner, her attention glued on the cat-and-mouse chase on TV. Before he had a chance to wonder what he needed to do next, the phone rang.
“I should have invited you over for supper,” Paige said with an accompanying sigh, when he answered it. “Is everything going okay?”
“I realized I didn’t really have anything here for us to eat, so we went to the café. I think she enjoyed it.” He could see her from his spot near the kitchen doorway. “She’s watching TV right now.”
“She’s probably exhausted,” Paige answered, “considering everything that she’s gone through today. Maybe she’d like to go to bed?”
Garrett hadn’t even thought about how everything might look from Sophie’s point of view. What kind of father was he? “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll get her into bed, and then make a list of the things I need to do tomorrow.”
“Maybe a warm bath would help.”
His first thought was to answer that she knew he preferred showers, but then he realized she was referring to a bath for Sophie. “Yeah, good idea.”
“Give her a kiss for me,” Paige said, before wishing him luck and saying goodbye.
After hanging up the phone, he walked to the living room, where Sophie was still focused on the antics of the cat and the mouse that wouldn’t be caught. “Sophie?”
She turned her attention to him slowly.
“Would you like to take a bath?”
It was several seconds before she nodded, and she didn’t move from the corner of the sofa.
“I’ll go fill the tub for you, okay?” When she nodded again, this time without hesitation, he felt better. “Okay, you can watch the cartoon while I do that, and I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”
After receiving another nod, he started for the bathroom, but changed course and walked across the hall to retrieve the one suitcase she’d brought with her. He placed it on the bed and quickly went through the few things that were in it, finally pulling out a pair of well-worn pajamas. It definitely appeared that in addition to needing to do some grocery shopping, he also needed to do some clothes shopping. She’d come with so very little, and he didn’t even know where to start. He’d never given any thought to being a father or to how difficult it might be.
Pushing the pity thoughts away, he moved on to the bathroom, where he ran a warm bath, then went into the living room to let her know it was ready. “Sophie?” he said, taking care to speak softly so he wouldn’t scare her. She looked up at him, and he smiled. “Your bath is ready.”
He followed her down the hall to the bathroom, where she went inside and shut the door, leaving him standing outside. He wished he’d had some bubble bath to add, but Paige must have taken any she had with her when she moved out a few months earlier. One more item to add to his list of things to get.
Leaning against the wall, he waited, and it wasn’t as long as he’d thought it would be before Sophie emerged from the bathroom, dressed in the pajamas he’d left for her.
Without saying a word, she walked to the bedroom that had been Paige’s and peeked inside. “It’s yours,” he told her. “I know it doesn’t look anything like a little girl’s room, but we’ll fix that real soon. It was my sister’s room when she lived here.”
Sophie’s hazel eyes were wide and unreadable, but she nodded slowly. Her head turned toward the big bed, and then back again.
It was his turn to nod. “Go ahead, climb into bed and I’ll tuck you in.” He suddenly smiled at the memory of his mother saying the same to him. Feeling a little easier, not to mention nostalgic, he waited until she’d crawled onto the bed and scooted under the covers before approaching. “Up to your chin?” he asked, taking the top edge of the blanket in his fingers.
But Sophie wasn’t paying attention. Her gaze darted around the room, as if she were looking for something. At first, he wasn’t sure what it might be, and he suspected Sophie wouldn’t suddenly speak up and tell him what the problem was, so he looked around, too. And then it dawned on him.
“Your teddy bear?” When she nodded, he felt a knot in his chest ease. “You left it on the sofa. I’ll get it and will be right back.” He barely waited for her nod before he turned for the door and hurried to the living room, where he scooped up the tattered teddy bear and returned to her room.
She hadn’t moved an inch. The big bed seemed to swallow her, and he made another mental note, along with the others, to find a smaller bed for her. When he handed her the teddy bear, he noticed that the relief on her face turned to joy. Apparently something was right. Finally.
After making sure she was comfortable, he brushed his lips lightly on her cheek. He felt her still, and when he moved away, she was watching him closely. He wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“I’ll be down the hall in my office,” he told her, switching on a small bedside lamp. “If you need anything, just come get me, okay?”
She nodded, her face solemn. Unsure if he should leave her alone, he finally moved toward the door. “Good night, Sophie.”
He hadn’t been in his office for five minutes when he thought he heard crying. Stepping carefully out into the hall, he listened closely. His heart ached at the sound of whimpers and soft sobs coming from her room, but he wasn’t sure what to do. Should he go in and assure her that everything would be all right? It might be a promise he couldn’t keep.
Instead of going in to try to soothe her—something he was certain he would fail at—he returned to his office and put away his things. A few minutes later, he listened at her door. The crying had stopped, and he suspected she might have fallen asleep. Opening the door as quietly as possible, he looked inside.
The soft glow of the lamp lit her small features, and he was again immediately reminded of his sister. Was it wishful thinking? Did he really want to do this? Did he want to be a father?
The thought of raising a small child terrified him. He’d seen what parents could do to their children. He’d chosen long ago not to father a child. And yet it had happened.
He’d have the paternity test done. He needed proof that she was his. Not only for himself, but for the future and whatever it might bring.
But most of all, he wondered if he was going to screw this up. The thought chased everything else from his mind. He searched, but he couldn’t find an answer.
Chapter Three
Libby drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, wondering if she’d ever find a place to park. The last thing she wanted or needed was to be late for Noah’s football game, but she hadn’t expected there to be so many people attending Desperation’s Fall Festival. She’d forgotten how people in town turned out for all of the town’s celebrations, but then she’d only been in town for about eight months. It all had her wondering what Christmas would be like.
Finally finding a spot that was so far away she could’ve saved herself the trouble and walked from home, she parked and stepped out of the car. “I should be used to it,” she muttered under her breath as she began walking toward the sound of the music in the distance. “After all, I’m on my feet all night.”
As she approached the carnival that had been set up around the baseball field, the music grew louder, and she could see the top of a Ferris wheel. The closer she got, the more people of all ages and sizes she saw milling around the area. To her surprise, she recognized more than she thought she would have. Maybe she wasn’t such a stranger in Desperation, after all.
But maybe that wasn’t such a good idea, she thought, making her way through the crowd. She couldn’t really get close to anyone. Not for a while, at least. Not until she felt comfortable being who she’d become. Who she’d had to become.
“Libby?”
Pulled from going down a memory path she really shouldn’t, she turned to see the secretary from the grade school. “Hi, Sadie.”
“I’ve been keeping a lookout for you,” Sadie said, joining her. “I was afraid you might miss Noah’s game.”
Libby shook her head and smiled. “I’ll miss the fireworks tonight, but not his game this morning.”
“That’s the important thing.”
“I was beginning to wonder if he was going to tell me he didn’t want me to be here,” Libby admitted with a soft laugh. “He forbade me to come to practices.”
Sadie laughed, too. “They can get strange at this age. I went through the same thing with Kevin’s two older brothers, so I guess I’m used to it.”
Libby appreciated Sadie’s friendship. They weren’t close friends, but Sadie had been a big help with enrolling Noah in school, which had been well into the second semester. It might have been a nightmare, but Sadie had made it painless.
“I didn’t realize this Fall Festival thing was so popular,” Libby admitted.
“Any excuse to get out and have a good time. Maybe it’s to make up for the name of our town,” Sadie suggested. “Whatever, we do know how to throw a party.”
Libby definitely agreed.
Now in the midst of the carnival, she looked around to see the smiling faces of her neighbors and people she’d only seen once or twice. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the perfect fall day. Everyone except Letha Adkins, who was glaring at her, as usual.
“Don’t let her bother you,” Sadie said, leaning closer. “I’ve never seen the woman without a frown. Unless she was needling someone.”
Libby simply nodded. She knew she wasn’t popular among at least a few people in town. After all, she did work at Lou’s. For some that meant she didn’t measure up. It didn’t bother her much. She wasn’t in Desperation to win a popularity contest. She only wanted a place to live where she hoped to keep her son and herself safe. Besides, most of the rest of the people she’d met were nice.
They left the carnival behind and approached the football field, where two small sets of bleachers held several parents and friends of the young players. As they drew nearer, she spied Garrett among them. His daughter was at his side, and Libby wondered who they’d come to watch play.
Sadie introduced Libby to her husband, who was sitting on the row just below Garrett. When Sadie invited her to join them, she did hesitate for a brief moment, but she didn’t want to sit alone, so she accepted.
As she settled next to Sadie, she turned to say hello to Garrett. “I wasn’t aware you were a peewee football fan.”
“Baseball is more my game,” he answered, “but Noah mentioned he had a game today, so I thought I’d come. Hope that’s all right.”
She was surprised. “He did? Of course it’s okay,” she hurried to assure him. There was no reason why he couldn’t be there, too, but Noah hadn’t mentioned it.
Refusing to let something so simple bother her, she smiled at his daughter. “Hi, Sophie.”
When the little girl returned the smile but said nothing, Libby glanced at Garrett, who shrugged and shook his head. “So how much do you know about football?” he asked.
Libby nearly answered that she had a much older brother, but stopped herself. “Not nearly as much as I need to, considering my son is playing.”
Sophie, who’d been watching them closely, patted the bench beside her. It was clear to Libby that it was an invitation to sit next to her. With Sadie busy talking to her husband, Libby didn’t think it would matter if she moved up to sit with the little girl. Even though spending time with Garrett might not be a good idea, she didn’t want to disappoint his daughter.
“I think it’s about to start,” Libby said, as the teams began to line up on the field for the kickoff and she settled next to Sophie.
“That’s Kirby MacGregor, Mac and Nikki’s boy, who’s doing the kicking,” Garrett explained.
“He’s one of Noah’s friends,” she said, without taking her eyes off the field. “He didn’t mention they weren’t on the same team.”
Garrett chuckled softly. “Friendly adversaries for the duration of the game?”
“That’s probably it,” Libby answered, hoping she could relax a little.
“There are teams in some of the other towns around here, so it isn’t as if they don’t have the chance to play teams with players they don’t know. But I heard there were enough boys interested to make up two teams. That makes it nice. More of them actually get a chance to play.”
Libby nodded and straightened as the football on the little stand connected with Kirby’s foot and went sailing through the air. Boys of all sizes scattered on the field, and before long, she’d become so engrossed in the game, she forgot about Garrett.
“You must know more about football than you let on,” he said, jerking her attention from the game.
“I attended a few football games when I was young.” She hoped her answer wasn’t so vague that he’d start asking questions, and she shouted, “Go, blue,” as one of the players on Noah’s team ran down the length of the field. Not only was she excited when the boy scored a touchdown, but she was relieved that the attention was taken off what school she’d attended. The less she had to make up, the better.
Within minutes, the game ended and the bleachers were spilling over with excited fans and players. “I guess your first game was about as good as it can get,” Garrett remarked to Noah when the boy joined them.
“No kidding!” Noah replied, laughing. He looked at Libby, his expression hopeful. “Would it be okay if I stay and ride some of the rides? I have enough money for a couple.”
“Maybe I can give you a little more,” she answered, “but I’ll have to pick you up before I go to work.”
Garrett put his hand on Noah’s shoulder, but spoke to Libby. “I’ll take care of his tickets, if he’ll ride a couple of rides with Sophie. She dragged me to the Ferris wheel earlier, but I told her we needed to wait until after Noah’s game.”
Libby looked at Noah, who glanced at Kirby before answering. “Yeah, sure,” he said with a shrug.
“What time do you have to be at work?” Garrett asked.
“In about four hours.”
“Why don’t you stick around for a while?” Garrett suggested. “Unless you have something you need to do, that is. It’s almost noon. We can grab a bite at one of the food booths.”
Not sure that spending more time with Garrett than she had already was a good idea, Libby glanced at Sophie. The silent begging in the girl’s eyes was enough to make her give Garrett’s suggestion another chance. When she looked quickly at Noah to see what he might think, he nodded. There wouldn’t be any begging off.
“Sure,” she answered, unable to say no to all of them. “I have some time, and we all need to eat, right?”
“Right,” Garrett answered, smiling. “Let’s hit the rides first.”
Libby nodded, though her heart skipped a beat. All it took was looking up into Garrett’s soft gray eyes, and she knew she was heading for trouble. And she’d already had enough of that for a lifetime.
“NO, REALLY, I DON’t want to ride,” Libby protested.
But Garrett didn’t like the idea of leaving her out of the fun. “You can go with Noah and I’ll go with Sophie. Or you can go with both of them, and I’ll wait here.”
She took a step back, away from the line at the Ferris wheel, her chin at a defiant angle. “Absolutely not.”
He didn’t want to pressure her any more. He’d railroaded her into coming with him and Sophie, and he felt bad about it. But it wasn’t for him. It was for his daughter. Considering that even after almost a week he still felt completely at a loss at what to do or say, he needed someone to just be around. Noah and Libby were the perfect ones.
“Okay, you don’t have to ride,” he said. “Noah, come with me. Let’s get you a ride bracelet.” He turned to Libby. “Do you mind watching Sophie for a minute?”
Her face softened and she looked down at Sophie with a smile. “Of course not, but you don’t need to—”
Garrett stopped listening as he put his arm around Noah’s shoulders and led him to the ticket booth. He wasn’t willing to argue with Libby or make up excuses as to why he should pay for Noah’s rides. He had the money, she didn’t. And she was helping him by just spending time with them.
“Mom’s not comfortable when people do things for her,” Noah said, while Garrett handed over the money to the woman in the booth.
“Then she’ll just have to not be comfortable,” Garrett replied. “Put your hand up there so the lady can put the bracelet on you.”
When they were finished, they started back toward the Ferris wheel. Noah held up his arm. “I’ll pay you back for this.”
Garrett stopped dead in his tracks. “You’re just like your mom, aren’t you?”
At first, it appeared that Noah was going to argue. Instead, he ducked his head, shuffled the toe of one shoe in the grass and then looked up with an embarrassed grin. “Like mother, like son.”
“Do me a favor, will you?” Garrett asked. Noah nodded. “Forget about it. I’m doing this for Sophie, not for you or your mom. And you can tell your mom that later, if you think it will help.”
Noah nodded. “It might.”
Feeling a little better, but still determined not to let these two people think he was helping, he started for the Ferris wheel. He liked Libby. He wasn’t going to deny that. But with a four-year-old daughter now in his life, he sure didn’t need to even think about having a woman in it, too. He had enough to handle.
“Everything okay?” he asked Libby when he and Noah joined her and Sophie.
“Just fine,” Libby answered. “You got the bracelet?” she asked Noah. When he nodded, she looked up at Garrett, stubborn determination in the set of her jaw.
“Forget it, Libby,” he said, before she could utter a sound. “Please.”
“It’s okay, Mom,” Noah said quickly. “I already told him I’d pay him back.”
Libby visibly relaxed. “All right, then.”
Garrett bit his lower lip to keep from smiling. “Okay, so let’s get this ride thing organized. Are the three of us going to fit okay?”
Noah looked at Sophie, and then at Garrett. “I think so, but … Mom?”
“You’ll all fit. Looks like it’s your turn on the next stop.”
The four of them watched as the wheel rotated down toward them, slowing to a halt. Two high school girls climbed out of the seat, and Garrett turned to take Sophie’s hand. The three of them climbed into the roomy seat, Sophie in the middle, between them.
When the safety bar clicked, Libby waved and announced, “I think I’ll go scout out some lunch possibilities.”
The operator stepped away and pulled a lever. The wheel began to move. Beside him, Garrett felt Sophie stiffen. “It’s okay,” he told her. Her eyes were as big as dinner plates, and he took her small hand in his. “We’ll stop going backward when we get up to the top. See the ball field where Noah was playing earlier?”
“Don’t be scared,” Noah said. “Take a deep breath and close your eyes, if you are. When you get used to it, then you can open them.”
Garrett watched as she did as Noah instructed. After they stopped several times to let off old riders and take on new ones, and then made two complete circles, she’d relaxed. When she finally opened her eyes, there was a slight smile playing on her lips.
“Better?” he asked.
She looked up at him with a real smile and nodded.
For the rest of the ride, he and Noah pointed out different things to her, and by the time the ride was over, she was giggling. Garrett couldn’t remember hearing anything so beautiful.
When their ride was over and they were on solid ground again, Garrett looked around, but didn’t see Libby. “Do you see your mom?” he asked Noah.
Noah looked around, too. “No. Should I go look for her?”
Before Garrett could answer, he felt someone touch his arm. When he turned around, he saw Hettie Lambert, the great-granddaughter of the town’s founder, and her friend Aggie Clayborne.
“I heard you have a little girl,” Hettie said, smiling down at Sophie. “What a cutie!”
Having received the results of the paternity test the day before, there was no doubt left in Garrett’s mind that Sophie was his. He felt proud. He felt scared. News had traveled quickly in Desperation, as he had expected it would, and most folks knew that he was now a single father. He wasn’t surprised that Hettie had come to be introduced to Sophie, nor was he going to disappoint her.
“Thank you,” he answered. “This is my daughter, Sophie.”
“She looks just like your sister,” Aggie said. “Definitely a family resemblance.”
“And she’s just adorable,” Hettie added. Bending down, she touched Sophie’s cheek. “Welcome to Desperation, Sophie. I hope you like it here. Are you having a good time today?”
Garrett knew there’d be no verbal response from his daughter. “She’s a little shy, Hettie.”
Hettie straightened. “Oh, that’s all right. Don’t you worry about it, Sophie. Aggie and I are just two old ladies with nothing better to do than watch people having a good time at this carnival.” She turned to Garrett. “I’d like to talk to you about the new zoning, if you have a couple of minutes.”
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